Tolkien Lovers Anonymous

[Laurelyn]

All right: I’ve wanted to start this RPG for a while and I’ve finally gotten around to it. It’s about a meeting for Tolkien fans to try to bring their Tolkien obsession under control. Our poor Counselor is in for it though . . . because these fans, unlike her, know that there’s no such thing as really liking Tolkien too much. They’ve only come to talk about the books and movie, and complain about Arwen. Hee hee. Well, anyways, join in . . . as yourself or as another character. We love lots of members! Oh yes, and I fully expect craziness to ensue, so you may be as crazy as you wish. :)

It is morning, and the counselor for Tolkien Obsessees is rummaging through her papers and drinking her morning coffee.

Counselor: *sighs * Oh, dear. Look at the time already, and that new help group is starting at 9:00. Oh, how I almost wish I’d never volunteered to coach this batch . . . *flips through some papers * Let’s see . . . Tolkien Lovers Anonymous. Well, it’s an okay name, I guess. *yawns * I had better be getting to work soon, though, or I’ll be late for the first meeting. Oh, well . . . *gets stuff together and walks out the door to her car*

Later . . .

Counselor: *at desk in meeting place for TLA* Right . . . there’s the last of everything. The fans should be arriving soon . . . *sighs, then a knock is heard at the door* Come in!
Person walking in the door: Hello. Is this Tolkien Lovers Anonymous? My name’s Laurelyn.
Counselor: *sighs, and thinks: Oh no, not another one with a Tolkienized name.* Hello, Laurelyn, and you may take a seat. You’re early, so we’ll have to wait for everyone else.
Laurelyn: Okay. I supposed being early was better than being late. But don’t count on my being early again. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime deal, or something like it. *Giggles* I’m always late for things. Wait, no . . . I’m never late, scratch that. I always arrive precisely when I mean to.
Counselor: *sighs again* Well, we appreciate the once-in-a-lifetime event, Laurelyn. *doesn’t get the reference to LotR, as she is a very strange being and hasn’t read or seen LotR.*
Laurelyn: Oh, that’s fine, glad to occasionally change my ways. *Another knock at the door* Oh, there’s someone! I wonder who that could be? Frodo Baggins, maybe? *looks hopeful *
Counselor: *muttering* Oh, agreeing to host this meeting and try to counsel these Tolkien fans was a BIG mistake . . .

So here’s somebody’s cue to enter!

[FrodoFriend]

Hey, this looks like fun . . .
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The Counselor opens the door. FrodoFriend walks in, dressed in short-legged overalls, a grey cloak, and a green Fellowship of the Ring baseball cap.
FF: Um . . . I'm looking for Tolkien Lovers Anonymous?
Counselor: Welcome! I'm glad you've come to break your addiction and reclaim your life!
FF: *blinks*
Counselor: Soon you will be free of the death-grip of Tolkienism!
FF: *scratches head*
Counselor: Come, have a seat. We'll get over this together.
FF: *spots Laurelyn* Well met, Laurelyn! How do you fare? Was your journey pleasant? I wished to meet you in Bree, but you had already left.
Counselor: *looks nervous* Now, now!! None of that, we're trying to BREAK the Tolkien addiction!
FF: *looks aghast* WHAT?! Are you INSANE!?
Counselor: No, YOU'RE the insane one, that's why you're here!! Now SIT DOWN!!
FF: *sitting down* But isn't this Tolkien Lovers Anonymous? Aren't we going to discuss the question of Balrog's wings? What about the symbolism? What about Gandalf's resurrection? WHAT DO YOU THINK I CAME HERE FOR?
Laurelyn: Oh, calm down, ya big freak. Once everyone else gets here everything will be fine.
FF: It darn well better be. *morosely pulls out 'Middle Earth Playgirl' magazine*

Another knock at the door . . .

[Evenstar]

*Evenstar quietly steps in*
Counsellor: are you here for the Tolkien Lovers Anonymous??

Evenstar: Huh?? WHAT?? No...I was lookin' for the bathroom!!

[Nazgûl Queen]

*knocks on door and the counsellor opens it*
Counsellor: Hello, and welcome to Tolkien Lovers Anonymous. I assume you are here to break your unhealthy addiction to Tolkien.

Morauko: Actually, I was hoping that I could improve my addiction here. You see, I've only watched the movie 3 times and have on read LotR, The Hobbit and The Silmarillion, so I was hoping that with the gentle assisstance of TLA I could become more addicted to the wonder that is Tolkien.

Counsellor: *blinks* Erm.... right.... take a seat over here, Miss...

Morauko: Morauko.

Counsellor: I see, another name based on Middleearth. You need more help than I expected.

Morauko: *glares at counsellor* BASED on Middleearth? I am Queen of the Nazgul, thankyouverymuch, and do not come between the nazgul and her prey or she will not kill thee in thy turn. She will bear thee away to the houses of Lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured and thy shrivelled mind left naked to the Lidless Eye.

Counsellor: I see.... *guides her to a seet next to Frodofriend then quickly moves away*

Morauko: How are you Frodofriend? Do you think you can help me improve my obsession...

*Is interrupted by a knock on the door*

[Laurelyn]

OOC: Well well, look what happened to this thread overnight!
Great posts, guys! I like 'em a lot. Now, I can't wait to find out who come through the door next . . . :)

Oh, and also . . . now I feel really sorry for our poor Counselor . . . :D That's no reason to go easy on her though . . . *evil grin*

[samwise of the shire]

*The door opens and Sams curly brown head pops in*
Sam: Hi! is this Tolkien Lovers Anonymous? I heard that you were meeting today and...*sees Frodo Friend*Frodo Friend! Elen Sila Lumenn Omin Tilvo Mellon!
FF:SAM!A Merry Meeting friend. How have you fared since our last meeting?
Sam:Good friend. And you?
FF:Well friend.
Counsellor:Excuse me but who are you and what was that thing you said?
Sam:My name is Samwise Of The Shire but I am known as Sam.*bows low* And what I said was"A star shines on the hour of our meeting, friend"in Elvish.What are we doing here?
Counsellor:*Looking slightly crazy annoyed and superior*Ahhh right. I am here to break you ALL of those annoying habits attributed to Tolkienites. Like speaking that LANGUAGE-
Laurlyn: Elvish?
Counsellor:Yes whatever. Anway speaking ELVISH in public. Writing Frodo Lives on blackboards in schools and looking up Halibut-
Morauko:Ummm that's HOBBITS.
Counsellor: Ahemm Yes. Learning Hobbit geneologies backwards and fowards and dressing in whatever they wear.
Sam:*speaking in countrified English*What's wrong with me breeches and westkit?
Counsellor:Nothing what so ever. But we are here to break your TERRIBLE addiction to Tolkien.
Sam:Try your hardest!
Suddenly there is a knock at the door.
Sam:*Leaning over to whisper to Frodo*No thank you we dont want any more party goers,well wishers or distant relations.
FF giggles

[Nariel Starfire]

[enters, a little late, wearing a grey cloak, an outfit like a woodland elf, wearing a blonde wig, and has pointy prosthetic ears.]

Nariel: Greetings, Mellon. [at the same time with sam] Elen sila lumenn omentilmo. [bows]

Laurelyn: Ooh, where'd you get the ears? I've been looking all over for those.

Nariel: Well, I kind of made them myself. See, I bought Vulcan prosthetic ears and adapted them.

Samwise: Cool!

Counsellor: Dear God, you guys are nuts! I can't believe you.

[Nariel turns, not having noticed the counsellor]: Daro! Oh, greetings. [cocks head] Your appearance is fascinating. Are you of Numenorean descent?

Counsellor: [shakes head and rubs her temples] THis is going to be a long day...

[Nibs]

[Nibs enters]
Counselor: [tries to appear pleased] Welcome! Have a seat. [under her(?) breath says] Next to the other psychoes.
Nibs: Ah! You're too kind, Miss... my! We already have quite a crowd.
Laurelyn: Have you tidings of the Nine?
Nibs: Indeed... but let us speak of happier things. [turns to the counselor] I fear for thee most, lady, for we are learned in the lore of Middle Earth and are loth to abandon it.
[the counselor notices that all the fans are staring at her]
Counselor: [noticably perturbed] Are we all ready to start?
Sam: Have we sufficient representation? I fear that none of our Dwarven brethren are present.
Counselor: [annoyed] First, there's no such thing as true dwarves, and you don't have to worry about me being enticed by your "lore", mister... mister...
Nibs: Nibs. Nibs Cotton.
Counselor: [hangs her head in agony] Oh, no... another fanatic... okay, let's get -

Knock at the door. Who's next?!?!?

[Rána Eressëa]

(Rogue Elf bursts into the room, decked in green and brown raiments and a grey elvish cloak.)

Rogue Elf: [approaches the counselor] Elen sila lumenn omin tilvo, mellon! [turns around to see FrodoFriend, Sam, Laurelyn, Nariel, Nibs, and Nazgûl Queen] Alas! I have found this wonderous place! And if not greeted by one friend, I find many!

Counselor: Yes, well, please sit down....umm....

Rogue Elf: You may call me Saun, my friend... [bows] ...for I am the Half-elfin marchwarden of Emyn Muil. I am well-known however as the Rogue Elf, but either title you choose is fair and just to receive.

Counselor: [gulps] Okay...I see that... [cough] ...many of you choose titles inspired by Tolkien's work?

Rogue Elf: Inspired?! Inspired?! I was given this title by my mother at birth in the fair Elven city of Rivendell!

Counselor: See, this is what we're here for: to admit these little fibs can turn into actual beliefs--

Nazgûl Queen: [stands up quickly and branishes a sword] Do not question the Elfin's words!

Counselor: Middle-earth does not exist! We are here today to ACCEPT that fact!

(Everyone jumps up in defensive attack when suddenly someone else pounds on the door...)

[Elf Girl]

(Elf girl enters)

Elf girl: (To counselor) Elen sila lumenn omin tilvo.

counseler: not again!

Elf girl: You may call me Elf girl, mellon. In the tongue of the ancients I am Anwa. I hail from the fair city of Rivendell.(turns to Rogue Elf) Saun! Well met! It gladdens my heart to see another of my kindred.

Rogue Elf: well met indeed, my friend.

Counseler: (going gray in the face, weakly) Um, were hear to realize that Middle earth does not exist, remember?

Elf Girl: (blankely) not exist? what do you mean?

counselor: We need to face up to the fact that all your strange names, the people you refer to, and the languages you speak so freely are merely scribblings in a set of books!!! (all stare)

(knocking on the door)

Elf girl: (arrow on the string) It may be a foul dwarf!!!

FrodoFriend: Let us not meet friendship with anger, Anwa.

Elf girl: (lowers bow slightly)

(more pounding)

counselor: (very weakly) c-come in.

(enter ?????)

[Renille]

*ME!* (This looked really fun...)

Renille: Greetings,all. I have come to beg assistance for my homeland, Gondor. We are under attack and in sore need of aid. Will you help us?

Counselor-*writing on a notepad* Why do say "us?" Do you suffer from schizophrenia, also.

Ren:No disease, my lady, but the attacks of the Dark Lord I do suffer.

Counselor- Dark...what? *shakes her head* Please, sit down with the others. But what is your name, first.

Ren:My full name is Renille Nibenel. It means Renille the small one in Sindarian. But please feel free to call my Renille.

Counselor-(to herself) I think the mental hospital would have been easier, after all...

Ren:(sees Frodo Girl's drawn bow) Friend, why do you bear arms in this place? For surely, no foes are among us in this last of peaceful places? Never mind...does anyone know the Quenyan word for "aardvark?" I looked in all the shelves in all the libraries of Minas Tirith, but could not find a reference to this word. It is the one word that is NOT in my new "Quenyan to Sindarian to English dictionary!

[Vanimdil]

A knock is heard at the door. It opens and a girl steps in, dressed in a long flowing green robe and carrying a leather bound copy of Lord of the Rings with Elvish runes on the spine. She bows and smiles, "Mae Govannen, mellyn. I am Vanimdil of Imladris. I am delighted to join this fair company."
She suddenly notices the rather frantic looking Counselor at her elbow, "Lady, you look distressed. Is there any way I can help you?"
The Counselor's eyes bung out,"NO, I'M here to help YOU. First of all stop using that made up language."
Vanimdil looks puzzled,"You mean English?"
Whipcords stand out on the Counselor's neck, "NO, idiot. That other garbledegook you were saying at the beginning."
Vanimdil draws herself up,"Lady, all language is "made up" as you so strangely put it, but I will have you know that the languages of the Elves have their beginnings with the beginnings of the stars."
The counselor is beginning to look dazed,"Oh, never mind...Just PLEASE sit down."
Vanimdil nods and heads toward a seat mumbling,"'The manners of your hall are somewhat lessened of late.' No, that's not quite right. Someone help me with that quote..."

[samwise of the shire]

Sam looks to Vanimdil and smiles
Sam: Nay friend. You speak right.
Vanimdil:What are we doing here Mellon?
Counsellor: You folks are here to know the difference between reality and fantasy, and I am here to help you with that.
FF: What do you mean?
Counsellor:Ok I'm tired of this. I'm going to ask you when you all read the Lord Of The Wings or whatever it is and got addicted to his fiction. I'll start with Sam
Sam:Well It all began when I was listening in on a conversation between my master and mister Gandalf...
Counsellor:*losing her patience*GANDALF IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER!
Sam:*looking perplexed*I dont quite follow you beggin' you're pardon but Gandalf seemed real enough to me when he almost turned me into a toad.
Counsellor:See he is ABUSIVE. He THREATENED to turn you into a toad!
Renille:*stands with her hand on her knife*Nay Gandalf was right to punish Sam.
Sam:He didn't even turn me into a toad. He just THREATEND. There's a big difference.
Counsellor:Apparently not. Now why do you dress in those peculiar clothes?
Sam:THESE?!PECULIAR? I dont follow you. *sits down*COme back to me later.
COunsellor:Who's next?
Sam

[FrodoFriend]

The Counsellor turns to work her counselling magic on FrodoFriend.
Counsellor: *grabs FF's magazine* Put that down! How can you be so fascinated by a fantasy character!
FF: *eyes mist over* Fantasy, indeed . . .
Counsellor: *smacks FF* WAKE UP!
FF: Hey! What dare you, vile creature of darkness? Violence is outlawed in the King's lands!
Counsellor: We live in a democracy!
FF: Radical! Revolutionary! Anarchist! Long live the King! Aiya Earendil Elenion Ancalima!
Counsellor: *splutters* Stop with the language, you hairy-footed little midget!
FF: *gasps* Hey, I may be hairy-footed and little, but . . . wait, never mind.
Counsellor: Good! Now, let's start at the beginning. You call yourself FrodoFriend, correct?
FF: MauraMellon in Elvish, if you please.
Counsellor: Anyway, I want you to understand that this Frodo is not real. He is purely imaginary, he came out of someone's head.
FF: WHAT??!! SACRILEGE!! SACRILEGE!! BURN HER, BURN HER!!

FF jumps up and leaps for the Counsellor!

[Nazgûl Queen]

Morauko: *Stands up and protects the counsellor from FF's onslaught*
Nay, friends. Do not be so quict to violence. We are all friends here and it is unseemly for any of us to wish harm upon one another. It is not the fault of this fair maiden that she was born in this, the sixth age of Middleearth where the tales of our past are thought of as mere stories. It is our duty to slowly make her see the truth of our legends, and bring her to an understanding of the real history of this earth, rather than punishing her for her false upbringing.

Counsellor: Erm... thanks, I guess.... *worries about Morauko's sanity*

Morauko: You are welcome, poor maiden. Now, friends, I believe what she was asking is when we first read the english translation of the War of the Rings by Sir Tolkien. I believe I was first introduced to that... unusual... translation around four years ago. It was quite a fascinating experience, seeing our past through the eyes of the Hobbits...
*sits down*

[Vanimdil]

Vanimdil smiles back at Sam,"Thank you, mellon, for setting me straight. For a moment I wasn't sure I was remembering it correctly. It must have been temporary insanity." She then notices the ruckus that is going on with the counselor and nods at Morauko, "I agree, we should be sympathetic that she does not realize that the stories in Lord of the Rings are real history and we should try to understand and help her." Turns to the counselor and asks conversationally,"So, when did YOU first read Lord of the Rings?"
The counselor looks irritated,"I haven't read it and I DON'T WANT TO!"
Vanimdil looks shocked beyond measure. She turns to her fellow Tolkien lovers,"Alas, I fear this problem is beyond our skill." She looks at the counselor with great concern and then asks, very gently, "Have you considered getting professional help?"
The counselor looks wildly about and then lays her head on the table and grasps it in her hands. Vanimdil nods solemnly and whispers to Sam,"It is a very sad case. Of course, as soon as she said she didn't WANT to read Lord of the Rings, we knew her problems were more serious than we could have imagined. I wonder if there is some way to get her to Master Elrond. She'd certainly never find the way by herself."
The counselor overhears and staggers to her feet, "JUST SHUT UP!! Now, PLEASE, someone else...?"

[Nariel Starfire]

Nariel stands. "If you wish, I will relate my tale. I first heard of the War of the Rings from Legolas Greenleaf, son of King Thranduil, my friend. He told me the tales and sang me his songs. It has been many years since I have seen him, but then (though I know not how he heard the tales), Sir Tolkien wrote them (perhaps he somehow obtained the Red Books). It is thus that I know of the War."

Counsellor looks at her and begins to cry and pull out her hair.

[markedel]

(A galloping horse is heard, followed by a thud and the door swings open)

I have heard that there is some trouble in this rather far corner of the realm! I am markedel messanger of our great king Elessar who seeks only peace and tranquility in his lands. I have been sent to bear some Athelas, which may perhaps bring some succour to whoever this rather strange lady may be...

[samwise of the shire]

Sam stares at the messanger on the horse. Pulls the messanger off his horse and takes him into a far corner.
Sam:Listen this lady dont beleive in Althelas or Mr Frodo or King Elessar. Elves,Hobbits, or Dwarves. She beleives in men only not YOUR type. We need your help in tryin' to calm her down and gettin' her over to our side. Can you 'elp us sir?
Markedel:Verily young halfling
Sam:By the way you call me Sam. And she's a counsellor who wants to diflect US. We need 'elp
The two walk back to the group and sit down. The consellor stares suspiciously at Markedel
Sam

[Laurelyn]

Counselor: *shrinks away* Ah . . . what's athelas? *recieves strange looks* And how could it help me?
Laurelyn: Athelas is a plant, used often for healing, although there are many who have never found its value. It is most used to combat the works of the Nazgûl, for instance the Black Breath or something of its like. I believe the hope in bringing some to you is that maybe its powers might lend a hand in the almost hopeless plight of your madness, my dear Lady.
Counselor: *stares* But it's you who's mad! Middle Earth is not real! Frodo doesn't exist! The works of Tolkien are all just made up!
All EIDRIORCQWSDAKLMEDDCWWTIWOATTOPWFIO's in room: *Mad dash at the counselor* Sacrilege! Liar! How dare you!
Laurelyn: Halt! Do not harm her, though sacrilege her words may be. She is not sane, that is quite obvious.
FrodoFriend: *halts reluctantly* But she said Frodo didn't exist . . . *receives prompting looks* Oh yeah, and she denied the existence of Middle-earth, too.
Laurelyn:I believe that she really thinks she's trying to help us. However, the task has indeed changed hands here as far as who is helping whom . . . Markedel, I unfortunately know little herb lore . . . What do we do, make her eat the athelas leaves?

[galadriel88]

The door is opened gently and a beautiful elf wearing a long, flowing gown of white and a silver crown in her long blonde hair enters the room.

Galdriel: Is there trouble here? I have sensed that there would be for many days, and have journeyed long to find this place.

Renille: It seems this human has no knowledge of our history, and thinks us quite strange. We fear her condition is beyond our ability of aid. Can you help us?

Counselor: And may I ask who you are?

Galadriel: I am Galadriel, elf queen of Lorien.

Counselor: Aaargh! That is it! The last straw! I can't take it anymore!!! All these made up names and words are driving me nuts!!! (Tries to run out the door but is held back by Renille, FF, and Nariel)

Galadriel: It is a six day journey to Rivendell, and the road is hard, but Elrond is the only one who can help her, I fear. Let us ride!

All walk out the door, carrying the kicking and screaming counselor.

[markedel]

markedel (furrows his brow)
At Imladris we can steep said herb to clear the air. Or mayhaps we can obtain some galenas, or weed as the halfings call it. As Mirithandir is known to have said "you might find that smoke blown out clears the shadow of mind within"

Perhaps the counsellor wishes to try some of the weed. Tis said it is from numenor...perhaps it will bring back memory of times more fair and lands more green then whatever dark place she hails from, if the air of the last homely house does not do so itself.

[Renille]

Counselor-*screaming* Weed???I knew it! I knew it! You're all drug addicts! HELP! POLICE! DRUG CONTROL! LAB PEOPLE! COME HERE! PUT ME DOWN!

Markedel- Calm down, my lady, the weed can only help you...

Renille-Prehaps the strange woman prefers not to wreath her thoughts in smoke. I myself do not employ a pipe of any kind. But how to sedate her while going to Rivendell?

[Earniel]

The phone rings, as the others constrain the counsellor, Laurelyn picks up the phone and says in a singsong voice:
'Counsellor's office! Oh hallo.... you've found her where?...ah I see...certainly bring her upstairs... we can surely help her... She puts down the horn

Frodofriend: Who was it? Are the neighours complaining about the noice?

Laurelyn: No, they' re bringing Eärniel in, say she caused some trouble in a supermarket.

*a knock on the door, everyone move the counsellor out of sight. Markedel gags her. Laurelyn opens the door. Between two cops stands Eärniel. She recognizes Laurelyn and waves.*

Cop1: We found her making a scene at the supermarket, screaming about Lembas.. *he raises an eyebrow*

Earniel: Oh come on! Have you ever heard of a supermarket without Lembas? How am I supposed to reach Mirkwood without it?

Cop2: Then she started brandishing that sword, so we thought we'd better bring her here...

Eärniel: But I was just showing them my very own Sting... surely mister Rangers....

Cop1: Looks like she needs a good brainwash doc!

Laurelyn: Are you mad? She has all the necesairy brainswashing she needs! clearly the fault lies with the supermarket and...

*the cops stare at her*

Laurelyn: Off course we'll take care of her... She'll be better in no time!

*Laurelyn pulls Eärniel in and closes the door quickly. Eärniel smiles*

Eärniel: So nice of those Rangers to drop me of here...Hello everybody, what's wrong with her? pointing to the counsellor who's face is becoming red

Renille: She needs some Athelas, possibly some pipe weed.

Rogue elf: Yeah, she said that Middle earth didn't exsist!

*everybody shudders*

Eärniel: (gasps) But that's horrible! We need to help the poor woman!

Evenstar: That's what we plan to do, we'll take her to Imladris.

Eärniel: Oh that's great, we're going to see the elves!

*silence*

Nariel (carefully) Aren't you supposed to be an elf?

Eärniel: Oh yeah , yeah forget my own head next. Must be lembas withdrawal effects... Stupid supermarket..

[Laurelyn]

Counselor: *suddenly calms down* All right, take me where you will, don't hurt me, please. And don't force me to smoke any pot, ok?
All: *surprised at change of attitude in the Counselor's part*
Nibs: Well, is this not a surprise! She's agreeing with us, partly at least, without creating a scene!
Morauko: Are we sure she's not just trying to get our guard down so she can escape?
Counselor:*gives Morauko death glare* (under her breath: D*mn! Why do they have to be so smart!)
Rogue Elf: Or she's just figured out that the journey to Imladris will be much easier on her if she cooperates. I, for one, know that it would be quite unpleasant to be dragged along kicking and screaming.
Counselor: Dragged along???!!! *looks upset*
Nariel: Now, now, my Lady, calm down. We won't drag you along if you cooperate, that's the point. And "drag" was merely a way of saying bring you along unwillingly.
Counselor: But it's still bringing me along unwillingly as it is! I don't want to go to this . . . River-dale place! You're all a bunch of looneys!!
Vanimdil: Looneys? I'd say not, thank you very much. You're the . . . "looney" . . . one.
Sam and FrodoFriend, in unison: It's Rivendell, not "river-dale!"
Renille: Or, if you like, it's also called Imladris.
Counselor: Anything I say can be used against me . . . I have a right to remain silent . . . *recieves very strange looks*
Laurelyn: She is clearly worsening. We had better leave as soon as possible for Rivendell; with all due hope she will not be too far gone by the time we arrive there.
Counselor: *starts crying* But we won't get there! It doesn't exist! Where are you really taking me?
Eärniel: We are taking you to Rivendell, and that is that. You will not be harmed.
Counselor: And I have what proof of that?
Markedel: As FrodoFriend said, and indeed she spoke truly, violence is against the King's law! We would not dare to harm you! What do you take us for, lawbreakers?
Galadriel: No, I think she is simply unaware of the law. She is insane, and knows not of our lands; of course she would not know of our laws.
Counselor: *shaken* What she said. *gestures to Galadriel* *thinks a moment* Wait . . . but your lands and your laws don't exist!
Sam: Law or no, I feel the urge to slap this woman . . .
Laurelyn: Aye, Sam, she is indeed beginning to bother me greatly, with her crazy words. But she is not in her right mind, so I must try to forgive the sacrilege she speaks . . .
Counselor: Please keep trying on that forgiving thing . . . One of you's got a bow, another's got a sword, and if I'm the only sane one here, then who knows what could happen!
Elf Girl: I don't believe even those words were true . . . for she is the one who is unstable. And also I think that more than only one of us bears a bow and sword, most likely. I for one will after this! I should want to be armed if I come against more evil!
Counselor: Evil? For all I know, it's Tolkien who is evil, for planting the seeds of insanity in your minds!
Laurelyn: Ok, NOW she's done it . . . anyone who insults Tolkien shall suffer tha consequences . . . *looks at Markedel* Please, can I kick her?
Markedel: Umm . . . she will be punished for those words, but let's not harm her now.
FrodoFriend: *sighs* We did, after all, promise not to hurt her, and if we stand a chance at all of helping her, we must maintain her trust.
Laurelyn: You do have a point . . . *gives Counselor death glare* How I wish looks could kill . . .

[Elf Girl]

Elf Girl: (to counselor)We will not harm you for your rash words now, but be warned, you will be punished justly in due time. (to others) does anyone have a horse? I came on foot.

markedel: I rode in.

Laurelyn: good. she can ride on that and we can double up on the other horses.

counselor: I can't ride! where are you taking me?

renille: we've told you a hundred times! Rivendell! please rimember this time.

sam: she'll have to ride double with someone. Now, who knows the way?

Rogue Elf and Elf Girl: (in unison) I do!

Renille: good! I trust the elves can make it on foot?

galadriel88: certainly we can. (all troop out door, carrying the counselor, kicking and screaming)

[Irid al'Menie]

As the group goes out the door, an elf woman comes along. Next to her 2 grey wolves are walking. She is clad in elvengrey.

"Elen silla lumenn omentielvo, mellyn. What seems to be the problem here? I had heard of Watcher here *taps on one of the wolves head* that there was a meeting. I am called Irid al'Menie, in common tongue Irid of the Wolves. I have travelled several days to make it to this forsaken place."

The councelor, who saw the elf join the group, grasps for air, and points at the wolves.
"Those... Those... beasts... Take them away! You savage! This is a normal land, take them away!!!"
Irid looks at the screaming woman. "Excuse me, lady. I don't scream if you drive those cars without horses, so can I please walk with my friends?"

The counsellor stares at her in disbelieve. "Your friends??? Those beasts? *to herself* lunetics... All lunetics... Where is my cellphone, that I call the hospital..."

[markedel]

markedel: Come now friends, we shall bind the poor women and put her on one of our horses. Mine rides true and straight and can hold two. Let us ride soon so the poor lady may be well.
(counsellor looks around frantically) Bind me!

galadriel88: Fear not this rope is made of hithlain and is soft to the touch you shall not be troubled

(markedel who's large and strong because of his numnorian blood and galadriel tie up the counsellor)

counsellor: mmmph

markedel: To imladris we shall go!

[galadriel88]

Eventually, the counselor gives up her straining. All are talking animatedly about all things Tolkien whens somehow the counselor manages to reach the cellphone in her pocket. Galadriel suddenly notices this.

Galadriel: Get that away from her! It could be some sort of weapon and with her in the state she's in, that could be very dangerous!

Cunselor: Mmmph! Mmmph!

Renille, who is the closest to the counselor, grabs the cellphone out of the counselor's hands. All crowd around him to inspect this "thing".

Earniel: What is it?

Sam: It seems to have some numbers on it, and lots of buttons.

Galadriel: It seems harmless enough, but to be safe I think we should leave it here, so that there is no chance of its being used by her. *Tosses it into the bushes by the side of the road*

[samwise of the shire]

Sam walks by the horse watching the counsellor who is tied FRIMLY to the hourse. Sam give Frodo Friedn the riegns and trots up to Markedel.
Sam:Mr Markedel sir. That there lady is turning roving. And she needs releif from the heat. Can we stop and rest?
Markedel:I suppose so young hobbit. STOP HALT and REST. What food do we have?
Elf Girl:I have Lembas.*holds up a pack of high protien energy bars*
Counsellor:*raises head*LEMBAS! those are PROTIEN ENERGY BARS!
Nibs:I have*rifles through his pack*some mushrooms*holds up a sack filled with mushrooms*fresh from the Shire.
Counsellor:Mushrooms?! Now I KNOW you're druggies.
Sam:Mushrooms?! Can I have one or two maybe three? Or what about the whole bag?PLEASE?!*reaches for bag*
Nibs:NOOOO! *slaps Sams hand*
Morauko: I have bread.
The other sift through thier packs. Most of their packs contain weapons for the journey, some have clothing. One pack contains wine from the Barrels of Mirkwood.
Time's up
Sam

[Renille]

( Before I post...galadriel88, I'm a her, not a him...:D )

Renille-*pulls out a cloak from her pack to give the counselor* Here, it will keep you warmer on the journey.

Counselor-
NO!! It's chloroformed, you want to kill me! You're crazy, insane, all of you! *breaks down crying*

Sam: Kill you? Lady, we are not planning to kill you. And we aren't exactly insane.

Markedel: *under his breath.* Which is more than I can say for you.

Counselor: *closes her eyes and tries to click her heels together through the rope* Okay, logic...this is a fairy tale, so I have to behave like I'm in a fairy tale. I must think Dorothy...there's no place like home, there's no place like home...

[Tanoliel]

Tanoliel had gone to the TLA meeting place, but finding everyone gone, she followed the trail of hooves and feet, until she was distracted by something making a loud ringing noise in the bushes. She knelt and rummaged around until she came up with a strange small object. "It's...it's....oh, what is it, I knew the name once...cell phone! THAT'S it!" She pushed a button and held it up to her ear. ~I know how these things work,~ she though smugly. "Hallo?"
"Hello, is this Miriam?" (ooc: hope no one mind I make up a name for the cousellor!)
"Uh...nope, this is Tanoliel."
"Who?"
"Tanoliel Cotton, of the Shire. Who are you?"
"Um...I think I must've got the wrong number...sorry..." the phone cut off. Tano shrugged and put the phone in her pocket. She followed the trail until she met up with a large group with one woman tied to a horse. "Hallo!" Tano called. "Is this the TLA?"
"Yes," FrodoFriend replied.
"We're talking this woman to Imladris to heal her mind," Galadriel added.
"Great. Can I help? Oh, by the way," Tano said, walking up the cousellor, "is your name Miriam?"
At an affirmative and rather scared grunt from the woman, Tano grinned. "So it was yours. I think I'll keep it." She walked away from Miriam, ignoring the woman's demands to tell her what Tano had and what she wanted.

-tano

[Nariel Starfire]

Nariel, a bit ahead of the group, looks back and turns her head to keep from laughing. She keeps walking, looking out for any danger. Soon she comes out of the trees to a large river-shaped this, but the ground is hard. There is, instead of water, there are horseless carriages zooming to and fro on the hard black bed (they have reached a freeway).
Nariel: Halt, mellyn!

FF: What's up?

Nariel: We have reched a barrier. For many leagues we may walk west along it, but to reach Imladris, we must eventually cross this River of Rock. [looks around at the tired hobbits and humans]. I believe the weak ones need time to rest and we can decide what to do come morning.

[Irid al'Menie]

Irid nodded. She sat down next to the River of Rock. The two wolves lay down besides her. She rumbles through her pack, and takes out a mallorn leaf, with something in it.

"I forgot, I still have waybread. Anyone? We must give the lady some too, i think."

Everyone who wants it takes some, and still there is enough left. As some others feed (or try to feed) the woman, Irid stares at the cars. Then she turns to the woman.

"See, i don't go screaming about devilish machinery. If you ask me Saruman has invented this. But let me walk with my friends in peace..."

[Earniel]

After a second meal, such as even hobbits have rarely seen, the little fellowship gathers to decide on a new road.

Irid al'Menie How do we cross this River of Rock? My wolves fear it.

Tanoliel *playing absentmindedly with the mobile phone*They're not the only ones...I wish I was back in the Shire.

Renille It is indeed an evil thing. Who would place such a obstacle in our road?

Laurelyn Say, This wouldn't be the work of Saruman, would it?

Markedel I deem it possible but why?

Eärniel *stroking Irid's wolves*Maybe he doesn't want us to heal the poor woman.

Evenstar She must be really important then!

*They all stare thoughtfull at the counsellor. The counsellor who hadn't followed the conversation finds this new attention scary and starts praying*

Nariel Maybe she's family of the king!

*They all let this sink in*

Samwise *jumps up* Then it is our task, nay our DUTY, to see she is healed from that strange enchantment of denial!

*the others rise too*

Tanoliel We must get to Rivendell then, but how?

*Elf Girl and Galadriel return form their scout mission*

Elf Girl Good new Mellyn! We have found a way to pass the infernal River!

*they cheer*

Galadriel However it will not be a easy task. We will have to pass through an eery and dark place...

*Elf Girl and Galadriel show the others an underground tunnel. Elf girl point out a board: It says: pedestrian walkway*

FrodoFriendWhat does that mean?

Eärniel Must be an ancient dwarven tongue....

[markedel]

markedel: I do not wish to enter such a dark way, it seems as black as that of Moria itself. But if the company deems it necessary, I shall go, and first if need be.

[Nariel Starfire]

Nariel: I fear no dark places and I will enter the tunnel. The language is indeed an old tongue, but not dwarven. It is a dialect of these Men which have now taken our Ea and now rule it. But I say we rest first and enter the darkness when the light of day is upon us.

[galadriel88]

OK, i can't think of anthing to add at the moment, but...

Renille - My apologies! I was just writing and not thinking, I guess...I'm really sorry! :(

[markedel]

Markedel: alas the fear tis making us act out of character-it is the madness this woman brings upon us! Let us go now, before it worsens.

[Tanoliel]

Tanoliel, still fiddling with the phone (ooc: soon she's going to simply call some random number, i think :)), slowly stepped into the underpass. She glanced around cautiously, then relaxed. "It's not so bad," she said, then jumped as her voice echoed around loudly. "Okay..." she whispered. "maybe it is...."

-tano
p.s. (ooc): in most other RPG's i've done, we don't play other people's characters, which is why I haven't been. I personally don't care if I get played a bit, it makes the storyline move faster...but is there anyone who does? Just so I don't do stuff without asking, etc...

[Rána Eressëa]

(Rogue Elf suddenly hops up in front of everyone and scares the shizznel out of them. She's been so quiet they have obviously forgotten she was even there.)

Rogue Elf: There is nothing to fear, my friends! Darkness befalls but every night and light always follows the morning sun! We shall make it through safely if we travel cautiously and close! Now, everyone, follow me! I shall lead the way!

(Rogue Elf whips some stuff out from her pack and makes a torch from a nearby piece of wood, then disappears into the dark tunnel.)

Rogue Elf: (shouting from inside) Come, now, my friends! Imladris awaits!

[FrodoFriend]

The TLA loosen their swords/bow strings/whatever and step into the dark and eerie tunnel.

Sam: And they call this a River . . .

FrodoFriend: This is no river . . . it's a tomb! *points at overturned garbage can and shrieks* Vile foulness! Death and decay everywhere! Saruman's witchery besmirches all that is fair! *wails and gibbers*

Markedel: Fear not, ladies! We shall overcome even this dark place! Think of this woman whom we must heal!

Everyone looks accusingly at the Counsellor.

Counsellor: What? It's MY fault you loonies are afraid of a garbage can?

FrodoFriend: *stuffs sock into Counsellor's mouth* Let us make haste then, for if someone doesn't heal this crazy woman soon I swear I'll flip out and have to take drastic action . . . *mutters*

And so, the TLA pass unharmed through the Dark Tunnel, finally emerging into the blinding sunlight at the other end.

[Elf Girl]

Oh, dang. I had no internet yesterday and I practically went bananas while you guys were having so much fun. *sniffs*:(
Anyway...


Elf Girl: Hurrah! we have reached the light of day again!

Counselor: (working sock out of her mouth)Where are you taking me?!

Laurelyn: We told you to remember this time!

Sam: Rivendell!

(they come to a tiny, muddy, creek)

Elf Girl: Ah! the river! It is only a few more miles to Rivendell!

Renille: Follow the river, everyone!

FrodoFriend: (re-stuffs sock in counselor's mouth)

(all troop off, following the "river")

[FrodoFriend]

Mwahaha!! I am FrodoFriend the Re-stuffer!!

FrodoFriend takes the sock out of the Counsellor's mouth.

Counsellor: *sighs* Thanks . . .

FF re-stuffs sock.

Counsellor: Mmmmhmnm!!!

FF un-stuffs sock.

Counsellor: *yelling* If I weren't tied up, young lady, I'd -

FF re-stuffs sock.

Counsellor: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!

FF un-stuffs sock.

FF: Mwahaha!! How d'ya like that, eh?
Counsello: Why you little!

FF re-stuffs sock.

Anyway, just ignore that little interlude . . . just personal vengeance . . . :D

[Tanoliel]

Tano walked a little behind the group, playing with the phone, pushing random buttons. Then she heard a voice coming from the phone--"Hello?"
She put it up to her ear. "Hi. Who are you?"
"Wha--? Why are you asking me? You called me. Yeah. Whatever. Are you, like, a stalker or something?"
"A what? Like celery? No, I'm Tanoliel. I'm a hobbit."
"Yeah...um...hobbit...whatever. Oh, whoa, you mean like in that movie? Like, what was it, Lord of the Rings or something, do you like know Legolas? Oh, my god, he so hot, could you like introduce me or something? Whoa, that would be, like, so cool..."
"Um, I don't actually..." Tano said, but the girl on the other end wasn't listening. "Sam does, though, I think," Tano added, and ran up to find Sam. "Hey, Sam, here, someone wants to meet Legolas, that elf." She held out the phone, the voice still coming from the phone bubbling about Legolas.

-tano (heehee...sorry...my little phone interlude with the legolas fangirl--yahhhh! NOOOO! RUN! *cough* scuse me...:))

[Laurelyn]

That was funny, tano and FrodoFriend! :D

[Laurelyn]

IGNORE THIS . . . . I double-posted by mistake. :embarassed:

[Nariel Starfire]

Nariel looks at the others fiddling with the phone.

Nariel: Hand me that evil device! Who now wants to meet Frodo.

Sam and Tano hand her the phone. She cautiously puts it to her ear.

Nariel: May I help you?

LFG (Legolas fan girl): Who are you?

Nariel: I am Nariel of Mirkwood.

LFG: What?

Nariel: I am an elf.

LFG: Oh my gosh! like, did you like know that guy who played legolas? Like isn't he so totally hot? Like did you know Liv Tyler? Wasn't she awesome as Arwen? Oh my gosh I loved that Strider guy but Legolas like totally beats him in hotness. Like did you know any of them?

Nariel (to others): I believe she speaks of the visual historical documents of Middle Earth which have just been released.
[to LFG] My lady, I knew Legolas long ago, as well as the Lady Arwen and her father Elrond the Halfelven. But I have not spoken with any of them in many years. And I know nothing of this Liz Taylor of which you speak....

(ooc; sorry guys I just had to add that liz taylor bit)

[Irid al'Menie]

Irid looked at the scene with a twinkle in her eyes. Her wolves were passing comment in her mind, and she had to laugh with it.

"Races of everywhere, I think that we must now make haste. If we do not, I fear this woman will be forlorn (*gosh how i love that word, forlorn :D*) We must get to Imladris soon..."

[Earniel]

Eärniel: So, how much time do you reckon we have?

Irid al'Menie: I'm unsure, it depends on the state of the poor woman's mind.

Eärniel: Let's find out then.

Eärniel: *holding her hand in front of the counsellor* How many fingers am I holding up?

Counsellor: mmmmh mmmmm MMM!!!

Renille: Just a thought, Eärniel, it might be FrodoFriend's sock preventing her to speak.

Eärniel: Off course how could I forget? * Pulls out sock*

Counsellor: Now please listen, we can solve this as grown up people... just untie me and let me go and I won't tell the police...

Eärniel: Police? Oh you mean those Rangers that brought me to the meeting. But I WANT to contact them! They still got my sword...seriously, how am I to defend myself when danger presents itself? All I have is my catapult and...

Counsellor: *getting impatient (yet again)* Now listen you idiots! I said...

Eärniel: *looking hurt*There's no need to get rude! Go ahead FrodoFriend..

*FrodoFriend restuffs the sock*

Eärniel: Remind me again how we are doing this to HELP her... Because personally I feel like I'm starting to forget the not-kick-defenseless-tied-up-counsellors-rule...

PS: This is the first RPG I have ever done so forgive me if I break any rule... For the record I don't mind that you take over my character a bit, just don't kill me or turn me into anything unnatural, ok? Anything natural is fine with me... no!, forget I said that!

[Elf Girl]

(They reach a large house with one of those tower things)

Elf Girl: We are here! C'mere Rogue Elf, we need to explain this poor woman's condition to Elrond.(knocks with knocker)
(door opens)

Rogue Elf: We have a woman in critical condition here. She must be tended immediatly.







This would be a good time for someone to join the RPG as someone inside the house.

[Laurelyn]

Alright, sorry to anyone who was gonna hop in here . . .

In the high doorway there stands an Elf, her long hair falling down her face. She looks at the various TLA members, and at the Counselor.
Elf: Ah, I see . . . come in. No, through this door, it won't work otherwise. And bring your passenger . . . Elrond shall want to see her.
The Elf steps back a little from the dorrway to allow the TLA to pass through, and the doorway shimmers slightly.
Laurelyn: *Steps up to the doorway and walks through . . .*
She is followed by the rest of the TLA, with FrodoFriend and Rogue Elf carrying the counselor. They all make their way through the doorway and look around them. Startled, they look back to where the door was . . .
Counselor: *Stops struggling. FF yanks sock out of her mouth* Oh. my. god . . . .
Laurelyn: *Looks pleased* Dear Eru!
Comments like this continue for a while from all the members of the group. They are indeed at their destination, Rivendell . . . and the door behind them is now only a window. Waterfalls cascade from rocks and run down in a wild river. Majestic trees rise up (not mallorns) and they can all hear singing voices on the wind of delighted Elves. An Elf comes toward them from one of the houses.
Elrond: Selien here said you had a woman with you . . . said she needed care . . .
FrodoFriend: *steps forward and presents the Counselor* She is quite insane . . . .
Laurelyn: *coughunderstatementofthecenturycough*

[Irid al'Menie]

*OOC: this is basicely not possible because elrond went to the west. But hey, you don't hear me complain ;)*

Irid looked around with a rejoicing look in her eyes. The wolves had not been afraid at all, and she had not either. It had been a long time since she had seen Rivendell, and she was happy to see it again.

She bowed to Elrond when he came to them, but didn't speak. She had enough of just looking everywhere...

[Laurelyn]

OOC: I know it's not possible; I said it anyway. :D Hey, maybe there's a recreation of Rivendell in Valinor or something and we're there!

[Earniel]

Eärniel is hopping up and down of excitement. She looks around her, her eyes darting here and there. Elrond gives her a look as if he is realising that the counsellor isn't the only insane woman here.... Only when she inadvertently steps on the tail of one of Irid's wolves who then snarls at her, does she calm down. But her eyes keep gleaming and she is obviously dying to explore her new surroundings. The other TLA members too feel the enchantment of the place. The counsellor looks a bit lost, if not on the edge of freaking out.

[Elf Girl]

ooc: I know it's not possible too but its fun.


Elf Girl: It is a joy to be back with my kindred once again. (wanders off looking around)

Counselor: (to Elrond) What on Earth is going on here? Who are you?

Elrond: she is returning to the light.

Counselor: Huh?

Elrond: you haven't been stabbed with a Morgul-blade, have you?

Counselor: huh?

Elrond: (Exasperatedly) I mean, has anyone cut you with a sword lately?

Counselor: (looking very much like if she takes any more of this, she will go insane) uh, no

Elrond: My lady, you have taken some greivous hurt.

Elf Girl: (faint cry from far off) Arwen, what're you doing here? Where's Aragorn?

Rogue Elf: Arwen! she left many a long age ago! (Runs off to check it out)

Counselor: (now convinced she is dreaming)My, that smells nice. What is it?

Elrond: Lady, that scent is the fair odor of athelas.

Counselor: Athe- What?

Everyong present: Athelas!

Counselor: Huh?

Elrond: Well, I thought she was returning to the light.

[markedel]

Markedel: Perhaps if we allow the lady to rest she shall more swiftly. We have been on a long journey, perhpas lord Elrond you can tell us of the date...

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Well, see, I think she comes from another place....sort of far away...okay, well, really far away....and well, I was there and there was a whole lot of very weird things, but if she comes from there she may not know what's going on. In fact, I'm almost sure she doesn't. *tano stops speaking as she realizes Elrond is completely ignoring her* Fine. Don't listen. Where's that phone-thing anyhow? I want it back.

-tano
ooc: I wonder if Verizon Wireless Network works in Rivendell?

[FrodoFriend]

FF: Come on, let's cure this dumb woman already, I have to go stalk - I mean, meet Frodo!

Counsellor: *looks offended*

Elrond: *sighs* Very well. I was actually going to save Middle Earth from a deadly peril, but I guess I can heal your stupid counsellor woman. Tanoliel, could you please put that phone down now?

Tanoliel clutches the cell phone protectively.

Elrond: ****! Oh, I mean, dear Eru! I need more athelas!

RE: Aren't you supposed to have Elvish medicine that's superior to athelas?

Elrond: *stuffs sock into RE's mouth*

FF: HEY! That's my job! *stuffs sock into Elrond's mouth* Mwaha hahaha . . .

[Rána Eressëa]

Rogue Elf: Ewwww! I need MOUTHWASH! [runs off down to the stream]

Counsellor: [looks even more offended]

FrodoFriend: Hey! Quit that! [un-stuffs Elrond and re-stuffs the Counsellor]

Elrond: [grabs his forehead] I need some athelas...

[Earniel]

Eärniel: Looks like you could use some Miruvor too. I wonder how it tastes... *Eärniel gets a dreamy expression on her face*

Elrond *looks at Eärniel* You look a little too young to drink..

EärnielWho me? Wouldn't dream of it! *pats Elrond on the shoulder* Don't worry I'll get you a nice drink. The kitchen is that way? *runs off to the kitchen*

[Elf Girl]

heehee... good ones, everyone.

[Elf Girl]

Someone post! this is to fun to end!

[Laurelyn]

Don't worry, Elf girl, someone will. :) I would except I don't have the time to type out another installment. :D

[Tanoliel]

I'll post! Lembas has given me the strength to go on...despite the odds...:)

Tanoliel: I thought you could heal people magically, too? Oh well. Maybe what she needs is to sit down with some elves and be told some REAL history. About the Ring, and about the First and Second Ages, and all that. Because I think that's her problem....not like I'm the phsycologist here, or anything. *looks up at Elrond hopefully* but we could TRY?
Cousellor: *hoping to snore through history and leave* Yes, yes, that sounds like a wonderful idea. I think you're very smart, Miss...uh...Miss....what's your name?
Tano: *beams* Tanoliel Cottom, ma'am.
Counsellor: And you're very polite, too, I must say. Oh, by the way, Miss Cotton, I was wondering...about that telephone...
Tano: NO! Uh-uh. You're not getting this thing back. (ooc: precious...:)) I like it. Besides, you'd use it to get away and then where would we be? Hey...FrodoFriend, i wonder if we could contact Frodo on the phone?

-tano

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

(can I join in? This looks fun!)

A tall figure in a cloak of elven gray steps into the room. She is dressed in elven attire and armed with a bow. A look of wonder is on her face.

Eruviel (to the elven maid who opened the door): Ah! At last, I have found Imladris, after many long days of journey. *goes over to Elrond and bows slightly.* Hail, Elrond of Imladris. I have come from Mirkwood to find the meeting of TLA, and I have followed the trail here. *turns to fellow Tolkienites* Elen Sila Lumenn Omin Tilvo Mellyn! Who is this woman here?
Tanoliel: Eruviel! There you are!
Eruviel: Tanoliel! Where have you been? And can anyone tell me who this madwoman here is?
Counselor: Not another one!

[Elf Girl]

(Elf Girl and Rogue Elf walk back into the room, followed bye a lady of such dazzling elegance that it could only be Arwen)

Counselor: AAAAAAAH! Go away!!!!

Laurelyn: (shocked) Do you insult Arwen, daughter of Elrond, Luthien on brought back to Middle-Earth?

Counselor: I never could stand models.

Arwen: (sweetly) Whoever these "models" are, lady, I am not one.

FrodoFriend: So about these history lessons...

Arwen: I shall fetch a scholar of the ancient times. (goes out and returns promptly with another tall female elf, who carries a small leather-bound book)

Tall Female Elf: I am Renle. You can begin your education by reading this (hands over book)

Counselor: What are these symbols? I can't read this.

Irid: She needs an English translation.

Renle: (hrumphs and walks out of the room, returning with another small leather-bound book) Here. Happy? You'll need to study Elvish once you come to your senses.

Counselor: (examines book) The Silma- Heeeeey, this is one of those books written by that Tolkein guy! No way am I reading this!

FrodoFriend: (hand drifts ominously to sword hilt)

Elf Girl: (Hands drift ominously to bow)

Everyone: (Hands drift ominously to weapons)

Counselor: All right, I'll read it already. Sheesh!






OOC: Sorry, I just had to do that ominously drifting hands thing :D

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Well, Eruviel, the problem as oyu can see is that this poor lady has no idea of where we are, who we are, and, well, is pretty much entirely clueless.
*voice from offstage: "I love that movie!" Heehee...sorry, that was my Kiss Me, Kate refrence!*
Tano: So...well...*grins evilly* we get to teach her. *walks off, tossing phone up and down. * Anyone mind if I go explore?

-tano

[FrodoFriend]

FF: Hey Tanoliel, can I borrow that phone?

Tano looks suspicious, but hands over the phone. FF walks off into a corner and dials a number.

FF: *whispering* Hello . . . hey, Frodo? I have to help bring some crazy woman back to her senses. Can we postpone the date until 8? Okay, good! By the way . . .

Meanwhile, the others are still studying the Counsellor.

Elrond: How can we illuminate her darkened mind? I do not wish to suggest it, but it may be necessary to take direct action.

Counsellor: *sarcastically* Oh, what are you gonna do, mind meld with me?

Everyone looks grave.

Counsellor: You're not serious, right?

Arwen: Just because we have pointy ears . . . they ALWAYS get us confused with the Vulcans . . .

[markedel]

markedel: Who or what are these vulcans? Maiar of some sort who live in the great void?

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: *removing the ominiously drifting hand from bow and replacing the arrow in quiver* Hey, I'll join you in looking around. Just hold on a minute. . . *goes to the Lady Arwen* Elen Sila Lumenn Omin Tilvo, Arwen, Lady of Imladris. I am Eruviel of Mirkwood. I give you my greetings, and the greetings of my people. Oh, by the way, we do have pointy ears? good. *brushes hair behind pointy latex ears*

Arwen: Elen sila lumenn omintilvo, Eruviel. This maiden, her history lesson must commence now.

Counselor: eeerrrr. I really don't need a history lesson in something that didn't exist!

Eruviel, Tanoliel, FF, Elf Girl: Actually, you do.

Everyone else: nods in agreement.

Elrond: Indeed, knowing our history is necessary. Perhaps if we told you, rather than having you read would be a more effective way.

~Eruviel

[Earniel]

*Eärniel returns with a giant pint of Miruvor.She is smirking and looks kind of pleased with herself. She hands the pint to Elrond.*

Eärniel: Here ya go dear.

*Elrond looks at her suspiciously*

Elrond:You face looks kind of red..

Eärniel:Who me? Must be the keen air around here, yes, yes, that's probably it! *nods constantly*

Elrond:*Looks a little closer*Your pupils are dilated..

Eärniel: Must be all the excitement, yes, must be. *Gives Elrond a radiant innocent smile* Oh I forgot to close the fridge!

Arwen:*looks bemused* But we don't have a fridge... What's a fridge anyway?

Eärniel:*running of* All the more reason to go and close it!

[Elf Girl]

heehee and heehee again.

[Laurelyn]

Hee hee . . . Hey Earniel, is your refrigerator running?

[Irid al'Menie]

*OOC: ok I have to ask this. Why do all of you say Elen silla lumenn omin tilvo? It is Elen silla lumenn omentielvo!*

IC: Irid had walked away from the trouble with the councellor woman, and saw FF with the cellphone. She had travelled far, and had studied the lore of men a little, and she knew somewhat of it. She walked over to FF and asked: 'Is the money in that thing not used by this time? I have seen you talk in it some time now..."

[Elf Girl]

Originally posted by Irid al'Menie
ok I have to ask this. Why do all of you say Elen silla lumenn omin tilvo? It is Elen silla lumenn omentielvo!


Just hasty typing. It doesn't really matter.

[Laurelyn]

OOC: Yeh . . . I say Elen sila lumenn' omentielvo, but I know what people mean otherwise, so I don't mind too much.

Meanwhile, Laurelyn is talking to the Counselor.
Laurelyn: But look around you! Elves! We're in Rivendell! How can you still say that our world doesn't exist!
Counselor: I've gotta be dreaming.
Laurelyn: Just read the Silmarillion already! We've given you loads of time and you're still putting off getting started on it!
Counselor: Whenever I get back to where I came from, I am SO gonna sue these people.
Laurelyn: You said it~! You said you weren't on Earth anymore! *is very excited*
Counselor: I meant when I wake up . . .

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *claps hands* OOO, we're making progress! Hey, FrodoFriend....what ARE you doing with my phone? Everyone keeps trying to take it away...
-tano
(It's gollum all over again! j/k)

[FrodoFriend]

FF: *graps cellphone* It's precioussss . . . my own preciousss!

Tano: What? That's MINE!!

FF: *yelps and runs away*

Tano: Give back my phone, you sneaking sock-stuffer! I was going to order a Dwarven pizza too!

FF: *whispering into phone while running* Sorry, Frodo, I think I have to go! Tonight then, at the Green Dragon, okay?

[Earniel]

*Eärniel returns, her pockets obviously full of nicked food*

Eärniel: So the fridge-problem is solved..

Samwise: How?

Eärniel: It's empty.

Elrond: What? But that was food enough for a week!

Eärniel: *licking her fingers* Nope, it wasn't.

*Elrond sighs deeply and takes another sip of his pint. Arwen nudges him*

Arwen: *whispering*If you cure the madwoman fast, she won't have to stay for supper...

Eärniel: Supper? there's a supper?

Elrond: *sighing even harder* Very well...Oh wait I have an idea! * turns to the assembled TLA* This woman is indeed far gone... she might be beyond my skill to heal. She may need a wizard to cure her (hint, hint)

Eruviel: But there are no wizards left in Middle Earth!

Elrond: There aren't? (drat) *adds hopefully* Are you sure? And if you look very carefully?

P.S. No my refrigerator isn't running, not since I chained it to the wall anyway. It does shiver when I walk past though.

[Laurelyn]

Originally posted by Eärniel
No my refrigerator isn't running, not since I chained it to the wall anyway. It does shiver when I walk past though.
LOL!!!! :D

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: Come now, Elrond. I know you have the strength to heal her. It is very important!

Elrond: Er, well, I don't think I do. Can't you at least go search for a wizard? I think I heard something about Radagast the Brown still being here. . .

Earniel: Nope. He left.

Eruviel and Tanoliel: Oh! We were going to recruit him to help us with birdwatching. . .

Counselor (Tano and Eruviel's words bring some spark of *in*sanity back): Now! Birdwatching! That is a good thing, it has nothing to do with this world!

Arwen: Ooh! Look! A Golden-winged Warbler on the roof below us! Ah, it is so useful having the eyes of an elf!*

Counselor: Nevermind. . .

Elrond: Now, why don't you all go. . .visit the Ford of Bruinen! Yes, that's it! It's a very special place. . .I'll stay here and deal with this crazed woman.

Eruviel: Oh! Brilliant! The landmark where the Nazgul were washed down the river! Can we take the counselor? Perhaps that would be a good way to start her on the great history of Middle Earth!

Laurelyn: Yes! If we just show her. . .I'm sure she'll get it eventually!

Eruviel: Hey, Earniel? Is there any Miruvor left? Can I have some?

*Sorry guys, birdwatching stuff. Couldn't resist. . .

[Elf Girl]

OOC: I think we should declare this an Epic Thread.

[Earniel]

*Eärniel digs deep into her stuffed pockets and extracts a small vial*

Eärniel: *Hands it to Eruviel* Here take some, but not too much, we still have a journey in front of us... Speaking of which, shoudn't we take some supplies with us? No point in going hungry....

*Elrond and Arwen groan collectively*

Elrond: *muttering to himself* Why didn't I leave for the west when I had the chance? But noooo, you had to come back because you forgot your stampcollection... And now you've end up with a buch of criminally insane who rob your fridge and... *then realises that every one stares at him* Umm Good journey, may Elbereth's stars guide your path.

[FrodoFriend]

Originally posted by Elf Girl
OOC: I think we should declare this an Epic Thread.

Epic . . . ? It's only five pages! We're going to have to write a lot more than that to make it an epic! ;)

[Elf Girl]

Originally posted by FrodoFriend
We're going to have to write a lot more than that to make it an epic! ;)

Well duh, but it shows no sign of stopping, does it?

[Arian]

Arian walks into a room full a tolkien lovers room.

Arian: Hi, guys.

Group: Hi, uh, what's up with the costume.

Arian: (wearing a outfit like an elf and has (fake) pointy ears.)
WEll this a tolkien lovers group right.

Group: No, this is Star Wars annyous.

Arian: Oh, k, hold a sec. let me change outfit. (she mutters to her self.) even the entmoot board is funner than this.

Group: Welcome. (When Arian enters.)

Arian: Thanks, but WERE'S THE GROUP??


Group: (which was all along the counlser.) I think your brain is doing mind tricks. U have what I call, LOTR mind obbession. U need to focus on something else or mental insute. for u.

Arian groans, and muttles to her self, it's the only thing I can focus on.;) :)

[Tanoliel]

Tano: (yells after FF) I'll cry! I swear I will! I'll sob all the way home! (no answer) Drat. It worked with Eruviel! (yeh...sorry, EG...:))
Elrond: It is a good thing that you break with the...the...the...object from the other place...
Tano: Oh, no, sir, you see, it's not for myself I'm worried, sir, so not at all...see, sir, she went all gollum on us, and well, I figured it would be a good thing to bring it back to one who knows more about it? *looks hopeful*
Elrond: Hmmmm, well...
Tano: (puppy face)
Elrond: I suppose. Allright.
Tano: Yippee! *runs off after FF* GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE, YOU LITTLE SNITCH! YAHHHH!

heh...heh...yep...:)
-tano

[Renille]

*Renille, who has been reading in the library of Rivendell for the past long time, runs out to the sound of running and the chase for the cell phone.*

Elrond- Ah, thank goodness, a sane one! They are being corrupted by the evil...um...thing from the other world! You've got to help me!

Ren: What? They have the cell phone! NOOOOO! It's mine, mine! I found it first! It is my own, my precious! And I have to call my mom to tell her I'll be late for supper!

Arwen: (sigh) It's gonna be another LONG day.

[Tanoliel]

Tano: (hears Renille) NO! NO, it's MINE, I say, my own, my precious, no one else can touch it...MINE! *continues running after FF, Renille chasing after her*

[FrodoFriend]

Okay, you want an epic? Let's make it an epic, then!! :D
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FF, Tano, and Renille chase each other in circles, each attempting to grab the cell phone.

FF: No! *pants* Lifeline to . . . Frodo!
Tano: It's MINE!! My OWN!!
Renille: Noooo! It came to ME!!

Tano finally catches up with FF, who trips over a random broomstick. Tano trips over FF, and Renille falls on top. A cloud of dust covers the three, who are all struggling frantically for the phone.

Elrond: *looming over the dust cloud* STOP!

FF, Tano, and Renille stop and look at Elrond.

Renille: Excuse me! We're busy!
Elrond: Stop with your foolishness! I am Elrond!
FF: *rolls eyes* Duh.
Elrond: Cram it, you bogus so-called elf lord!
FF: *gasps*
Elrond: Anyway . . . this thing of power has taken over your minds! It is EVIL!
Tano: *mists clears away from eyes* Eru! What have we been doing? The cell phone is evil! Take it, Elrond, take it!
Elrond: No! I dare not! It would control me, and all would then be lost! No . . . it must be destroyed!

Everyone gasps. The Counsellor looks dazed and even more frightened.

Elrond: You must take it back to the place where it was created . . . and destroy it!
Laurelyn: What about the Counsellor? We came here to heal her, not to destroy the evil cell phone!
Elrond: *rubs chin thoughtfully* Hmm . . . maybe we can kill two orcs with one arrow here. *looks at the Counsellor* You, madam, shall take the cell phone back to its place of creation and cast it into the flames!
Counsellor: *eager to get back to civilization* Oh, you mean the Nokia parts firm? Sure, I'll take your evil phone for you! *smiles brilliantly*
Elrond: Good, good, you're coming to your senses!
Counsellor: Erm, yes . . . I don't know what came over me . . .
Elrond: Of course, you must have companions.
Counsellor: *looks downcast* Oh.
Elrond: With you shall go the company assembled here. They shall lend you protection and strength on your perilous journey.
Counsellor: *looks even more downcast* The company here? They're all coming?
Elrond: Well, what if an army of orcs attacks? You want to handle them yourself?
Counsellor: Not really.
Elrond: Then stop arguing! Now go already, I have to go to Arwen's softball game!

And so, the whole butt-load of people on this board goes off with the Counsellor to destroy the evil cell phone and bring its bearer to the world of Tolkien!

[Tanoliel]

Tano: aw-RIGHT! I've always wanted to go on an adventure! Wait 'till I tell my cousins back home! I mean....we're gonna GET home, right? This isn't a really big evil...not like the ring.....is it? Yikes...well...
Eruviel: You did say you wanted to come.
Tano: I know. I know. I will...

-tano
(evil....hehe...:))
*sniff* I LIKED the cell phone! :)

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: So the Counsellor will be the bearer of the cell phone? I don't think that will work too well. . .she might try to use it and contact her people--you know, those others who don't believe in the truth! Perhaps one of us should bear this burden!

Tano: Great idea! I'll take it!

FF: No, I will!

Renille: No, I should!

Eruviel: Perhaps one not so attatched to the object shall take it--

Counsellor: It's my phone! I should get it!

Earniel: I'll go get some food for the journey!

Eruviel: Elrond! Arwen! Help! They're going crazy! Hey, Earniel, can you make sure to get lots of Miruvor?

[Elf Girl]

heehee...yes, I want an epic, and yes we'll make an epic; but I don't have much time right now.

[Earniel]

Eärniel raided the kitchen (yet again) for enough food to sustain a needy party for many weeks. The head cook left Rivendell, the other cooks went on strike. Elrond and Arwen would eat the rest of the week cold leftovers. After that she sneaked into the wine cellars and came out carrying a surprisingly large load of miruvor.

Elrond: * whining* Oh, no! She found my secret stash of booze!

Arwen: Secret stash? Oh father! You promised mother not to drink that much!!

Eärniel left Elrond trying (in vain) to explain Arwen that the miruvor was strictly for medicine-purposes. She then nicked a pony from the stables to carry all the food. She called him Trotter.

[Irid al'Menie]

With a look of pity on her face Irid watched the quarrel over the cellphone. She walked up to FF (you're the one with the phone right now, right?) and took it from her.

"I will bear this burden, though i do not know the way... Ehm, scratch that... I meant: I care not for it. Or something. Anyway... Stop fighting over it!"

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: Ooh, miruvor! Good job, Earniel! *goes over to the phone-fight* I shall take this burden. Irid, you need not trouble yourself.

Elrond: *goes outside to where the TLA and the counselor are preparing to leave* Now, I think this phone is causing too many problems. Even those of you who mean well will soon be corrupted. *glares at Eruviel* I say that nobody shall carry it, we will put it in the packs with the pony-wait! You stole my pony!

Eruviel: If you let us take it, we'll leave faster!

Elrond: Alright. Now, break it up, all of you. The pony shall be the bearer of the phone.

Arwen: Dad! The elven-smiths want to talk to you!

Elrond leaves.
The TLA departs, with FF, Tano and Merille still bickering among themselves and sending angry glares to the pony. The pony starts to look uncomfortable.

[Earniel]

Eärniel: Hey, leave poor Trotter alone will you? He can't help it that I stole him.* Pats the pony lovingly and takes a cracker out of the sacks*

[FrodoFriend]

"Trotter"?! A pony?! Trotter is a hobbit, and a Ranger at that! And he's got more important things to do than be our sherpa! :D Such as get back to my fanfic where he belongs . . . :)

[Earniel]

Are you serious, FF? Trotter 's in your fanfic? Have you posted it somewhere? You're making me curious....

[FrodoFriend]

Yeah, I'm writing a fic called "The Adventures of Trotter the Hobbit-Ranger" (current favorite project). It's posted on fanfiction.net. I've had writer's block lately and haven't added anything, but maybe I can get up a new chapter tonight.

[Nariel Starfire]

hey guys, I just looked in FotR and fyi, it's Elen sila lumenn omentilmo! So there!

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Thanks, Nariel. Oh, and I just told my friend that it's omentielvo! I'll have to correct that tomorrow. . .darn.

222, nice number, huh? (kinda like 111. . .)

[FrodoFriend]

My copy of LotR says "Elen sila lumenn' omentielvo."

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Hey, maybe we should stick to the subject, here. Not that I have an objection to this debate, I just think it would be sad if an adminstrator closed this thread for being off-subject. . .

[Nazgûl Queen]

*Morauko rides up to the company on her black horse*

I have returned, my friends.
I am afraid that I needed to visit my dear homeland of Mordor and check whether it is being cared for. To my great happiness, the area is being protected by the descendants of Eowyn and Faramir.
Sadly, I neglected to visit the ford of Bruinen at which we fell to the power of Elrond back in the 3rd age, and to visit Elrond and his children.
Nevertheless, I am here now. Where now are we taking this poor woman?

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: Um, Mordor, I think. . .we need to destroy this object which has caused strife among our company, oh Nazgul. I do not know for certain. Would somebody kindly tell me where the phone must be destroyed?

[Laurelyn]

My old copy of FotR says omentilmo, but my newer copy says omentielvo.

[Irid al'Menie]

ask someone who knows quenya ;)

Irid nods with her head to the woman. 'Didn't the woman know where it was made? Oh and don't we need a wizard so he can fall in the abyss or something? Just an idea...'

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: Sorry, Irid, the wizards have all returned to Valinor. But maybe we could find someone else to fall into an abyss. Then he can reapper later wearing different colors! Any volunteers?
*The rest of the company glares at Eruviel*
Eruviel: Okay, didn't think so! Hey! Counselor! Where was the phone made?
Tanoliel: Look on the back!
Eruviel *dashes to the pony and grabs the phone before FF, Tano and anyone else can reach it* It says. . .the words are strange to me, and the script, but I recall learning it long ago. . .It says, "Made in China."

[Elf Girl]

In my Quenya course and books (new addition) it says omentielvo.
Anyway... mustn't get offtopic.


(everyone is squabbling over the phone)

Elf Girl: I say the good lady may take the phone-

Counselor: (grins)

Elf Girl: But, if she takes it out of her saddlebag... (hands drift ominously to bow)

FrodoFriend: not again!

Elf Girl: all right, all right. (removes ominously drifting hands)

Counselor: I told you I can't ride!

Morauko: (grins) Oh, you'll get the hang of it.

Elf Girl: (places phone in a saddlebag on a horse of Elrond's) May we take this horse for the lady?

Elrond: Sure! Name it! Just get out of here! (under his breath) Why oh why didn't I go west?

markedel: (grabs counselor and puts her on horse)

(all non-elves get horses, mount, and ride off. Elves follow on foot)

Laurelyn: And so the fellowship of the strange plastic object with buttons on it sets out.

[Earniel]

*Eärniel looked at the road ahead. *

Eärniel: No bloody way I'm gonna walk all the way there, where ever this evil land of China lies...

*she looks at the pony, a grin spreads on her face. The pony who was relieved to be freed from the angry stares of the TLA (and from wearing the evil mobile) started to feel again very uncomfortable seeing Eärniel's grin. It pondered on bolting but then decided against it. Those horses were much faster and THEY didn't have to carry all that food, the pony thought annoyed. He looked at Eärniel again, the grin was still there. You could see her mind working he thought. Oh no, she comes closer!*

Eärniel: *honey voice*Nice pony, sweet pony. My, my don't you look strong...

*the pony looked panicky.*

Eärniel: Now you wouldn't mind would you?

*the pony closed it eyes and started praying to the Great God of Horses. The next second Eärniel had seated her before the giant pack of food.*

Eärniel: Mmmm, very confy, next to the food....

Eruviel: No snacking!

Eärniel: Oh darn, never can have any fun...

[Nariel Starfire]

Nariel tries hard to keep from laughing as the others argue about such trivial things... but now they are on their way to China.

Nariel: I believe I know where this China lies. I have been there before. WE must travel far west until we reach the sea. Then we must cross the sea. It shall be a long journey.

[Laurelyn]

Originally posted by Elf Girl

Laurelyn: And so the fellowship of the strange plastic object with buttons on it sets out.
Do you have any idea how much you made me laugh with that line?

[Elf Girl]

Originally posted by Laurelyn
Do you have any idea how much you made me laugh with that line?

Uh, no, but I meant it to be funny. (duh)

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: You mean we're going West? But I wasn't quite ready to go West yet-
Nariel: Uh, no, not that West. West from the sea called the "pacific ocean," I believe.
Eruviel: oh. Well, let's go then! *starts walking faster and more purposefully.*

[Earniel]

Originally posted by Eruviel Greenleaf
Eruviel: You mean we're going West? But I wasn't quite ready to go West yet-
Nariel: Uh, no, not that West. West from the sea called the "pacific ocean," I believe.


Boy, did you get me confused with that! From my point of view China is in the East :) Took me a few minutes to see it.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Originally posted by Eärniel


Boy, did you get me confused with that! From my point of view China is in the East :) Took me a few minutes to see it.

Oh! Sorry. . .it's West to me, and I consequently forgot about all those people for whom it is East. And it probably is East for us in the TLA, too. Heh.

[Earniel]

Don't worry about it, Eruviel! But you have a good point, where IS the TLA actually? If we don't know that how are we ever going to get to China? Aarg! I'm lost! Guide please...

[Earniel]

oh come on people! Don't let this thread die that easily! If you're tired of it, let just finish it properly. I can't stand unfinished business. (that last part should probably be in the venting thread)
please?

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Well, we are currently in ME, so I have no idea how we're going to get to China. Anyone else?

TLA Lives!

[Tanoliel]

Haven't the foggiest...but weren't we sorta in "the real world" (heh) and then we randomly went to Rivendell, so....:)
-tano

[Elf Girl]

We don't have to know were we are, really. We can just walk west until someone gets tired of walking west, then we can get on a boat and sail until someone gets tired of sailing, and so on.

[Earniel]

Fine with me, let's do it, before wel fall under the influence of the evil mobile phone.;)

[Tanoliel]

The Fellowship of the Cell Phone set out, walking west. The pony stayed as far from the rest of the people as he possibly could. Tano, every chance she got, bugged the counsellor about this place they were going to.
"What's it like? Tell me about it."
"It's a big building. They build phones there."
"What?" Tano shrieked. "There's MORE of these?" That made others look around. "Why are we going THERE?!?!?! We'll all be corrupted all over again!"

-tano (hey, hey, hey, it's my 200th post! :))

[Earniel]

Congratulations!

Laurelyn: Aye it is a difficult task we have ahead of us.

Eruviel: Yet we must succeed. If we do not save Middle-earth from the terrible prospect of cell phones, who will?

*the TLA think of Elrond in Rivendell*

Morauko: Point taken. We are all that stands between Middle-earth and the horrible prospect of eternal phone-domination.

*they shiver*

Eärniel: When do we take a break? Can't save the world on an empty stomach, and I'm hungry.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: Here, Earniel, have some Lembas, I made it myself. *Hands Earniel some lembas*
Tano: Hey, can I have some too?
Eruviel: *Hands Tano some lembas.
Laurelyn: Come on, we have not the whole day to waste. We must reach somewhere safe by nightfall!
Eruviel: Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming. *walks faster* So, where are we going to stop? Can we stop at The Green Dragon?
Earniel: Great idea! Can we? Can we?
Elf Girl: No! Shortcuts make delays, but inns make longer ones!
Earniel: Oh, we won't be too long there! Please?
Eruviel: She is right. We must go on!

[Elf Girl]

I just read this thread all the way from the beginning...it's hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Laurelyn]

Originally posted by Elf Girl
I just read this thread all the way from the beginning...it's hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good; that's what I intended when I started it.

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *chews on lembas, talks with her mouth full* Awww, please can't we stop at an inn just a little bit! Please? I'm thirsty!
Eruviel: There's a stream right there.
Tano: How do you know it's safe to drink?
Eruviel: I'm an elf.
*Tano, grumbling, drinks from the stream and joins the Fellowship again. * I still think we should've stopped.
-tano

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: (suddenly forgetting her desire for nice food and drink at an inn) we must continue on, there will be no stopping 'til nightfall. *walks ahead, then turns back and tosses an apple to Tano* (ooc: yeah, I go into Aragorn mode sometimes. . .:))
Tano: *looks at the apple and glares in Eruviel's general direction*
Eruviel: *drinks from the stream*

[galadriel88]

Galadriel:If we do not stop between now and then, I believe we can make it to a safe spot in the forest that I know of. No danger will dare set foot there, for it is well guarded by the magic of Lorien. Is that any consolation for not stopping at the Green Dragon?

*silence as all stand still and stare at her*

Galadriel: Or would you rather press on till morning and get no rest at all?

*all start moving again, while saying things like "That sounds great." and "Yeah, yeah, sounds good to me."

Galadriel (with a slight smirk on her face): I thought so...

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Apples. How typical. We haven't had lunch yet. Or even second breakfast, or elevenses. And I doubt we'll stop for afternoon tea, either. Hey, Sam--do you think they even know about them? Or do they just want to starve the hobbits? Honestly. Apples...
:)
-tano

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: *eats an apple*

[markedel]

markedel: (who has been brooding for the last 500 miles) Alas why do I only this foul matzah in my pack. When will they make imitation kosher for passover Lembas with unleavened holy corn (tm)?

[galadriel88]

Tano: Okay, that all just went right over my head...

[markedel]

markedel: I cannot resist placing a matzah joke before passover...

[Tanoliel]

ooc: Galadriel88, that was a line from the movie, sort of. Slightly twisted to fit my own needs. :) It's when Strider is leading the hobbitses *smack* HOBBITS! to Weathertop, and Pip and Merry stop to eat breakfast, and Strider says that they already had breakfast, and Pip replies with a long thing about all the meals hobbit eat. "What about second breakfast?" etc. Yikes. That was a run-on sentence...
And Markedel, I'd make lembas with unleavened corn of Yavanna (tm) but I haven't got any...
-tano

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Originally posted by Tanoliel

And Markedel, I'd make lembas with unleavened corn of Yavanna (tm) but I haven't got any...
-tano

If you ever find some, make some for me, too! :)

Okay, back in character. . .

Eruviel: Enjoying your apple, Tano? *tosses apples to everybody in the party*

markedel: I cannot resist placing a matzah joke before passover...
As you did in your signature. . .:)

[galadriel88]

Tano, I wasn't talking to you, that was your character saying something!
And I rather enjoyed the movie quote...;)

[Tanoliel]

Aha. I thought that might've been it, after I posted. Oh well. It gets confusing....I am running out of ideas. Should I just make a bunch of...orcs...attack the party? Wait. There aren't any orcs near Rivendell...uh...well...never mind...
-tano

[Elf Girl]

I'll do one to get it moving. I'm going to take some liberties with adventures.


(all enter forest)

Elf Girl: This looks like a place where elves might live!

Couselor: If I hadn't seen these Elves with my own eyes, I'd say you were crazy.

Sam: I say your'e the crazy one!

Counselor: Actually, I think you're crazy anyway.

Galadriel88: Enough needless chatter! I feel a strange power in this wood!

(suddenly two trees bend forward, one behind the Fellowship, one in front)

Tano: I don't think you needed to tell us that.

(trees start squeezing together)

Counselor: We're going to get crushed!! ...But wait, this is impossible.

Laurelyn: Huorns!

Counselor: What?

Laurelyn: No time! We are going to get crushed if someone doesn't do something!

Elf Girl: Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo!
By water,wood and hill, by the reed and willow,
By fire, sun and moon, harken now and hear us!
Come, Tom Bombadil, for our need is near us!

(nothing happens. trees are now squeezing fellowship members)

Rogue Elf: That worked.

Counselor: Ow! these trees are squeezing me!

Elf Girl: We noticed that.

(Suddenly axe-wielding dwarf runs through the woods and gashes at tree in front. He continues hacking until it it is cut down and starts on the other one)

All Elves in party: A dwarf! (arrows on strings)

Dwarf: Elves! (axe in hand)

Tano: calm down, all of you. (to dwarf) these elves are dwarf-friends, despite all appearences.

Dwarf: I thought you were a team of dwarves who went missing awhile ago. They left the nearby mines awhile ago to explore the forest, (shudders) and they never came back. I have no idea why they wanted to explore this awful place. The huorns couse lots of trouble. *sigh* I really miss Happy, too.

Tano: Will you let us into the mines? we need food and shelter.

Dwarf: I guess, but the elves must go blindfold in a little while.

Counselor: Why are you so short?

Dwarf: (looks incredibly offended)

Laurelyn: (hastily covers counselors mouth) Don't mind her, she's insane! (under her breath) Go ahead, FrodoFriend.

FrodoFriend: (stuffs sock in counselors mouth)

(all troop off, following the Dwarf)


OOC: I know, I'm always bringing in new charecters. But I had to get the thing moving again!

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: We have to go into Dwarven caves? *mutter, mutter*
Tano: It can't be bad at all. And besides, Legolas Greenleaf went into the Mines of Moria, and followed his friend, Gimli, into the Glittering Caves!
Eruviel: Fine, fine. It's okay, I'll go, but really, I don't think this is the best idea *doesn't replace arrow, rather examines it thoughtfully, then rolls eyes at the counselor*

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *sigh* elves ...honestly.
They followed the dwarf into a dark and somewhat musty tunnel. The counsellor looked extremely digruntled, but for once said nothing and was content with simply a very large sigh. The tunnel led downward interminably, until the dwarf rolled away a stone and bade them enter into a cave.
Entire Company: (sounds of amazement)
Tano: Yikes. I mean, I knew they were awesome, but...yikes..

ooc: I'll leave it up to someone else to describe the caves, if they like. Cheerio.
Nyat, ya kashka! :)
-tano

[Earniel]

(I go away for three days for a stupid project and the thread is suddenly alive again! Good job every one!)

The caves were huge. The walls were of a grey marble and polished with care. Large and carven pillarssupported the faraway roof. Light filtered through hole in the ceiling. In the far end of the hall stood a carefully sculpted throne carved out off the from living rock itself. It was adorned with gems and precious stones of all sorts. The TLA gasped in amazement

Eruviel: Look!

Laurelyn: Yeah it's so beautiful....

Tanoliel: No, that's not what she meant! Look there! *pointing at a long table before the throne*

Eärniel: Chocolate!

Elf Girl: Candy!

FrodoFriend: Food!

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

The lure of chocolate too much for the entire company, they forget their manners and run toward the table. . .

Their guide, the dwarf, laughs, and says. . .'Please, enjoy your meal. Then we will discuss some matters of importances, such as-he is cut off by the noise of way too many people happily eating chocolate.

Eruviel: Wow, this is good--wait a minute! People! Stop! Listen to our *sneers* host.

Nobody pays attention. The chocolate is yummy. Eruviel eats some more, momentarily forgetting everything. . .

[Elf Girl]

Yaaaaaaaaaay! The thread is alive again!! Hooraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

TLA Lives! Spread the word! Or not. . .:)

[Tanoliel]

Tanoliel noticed herself getting curiously lightheaded as she ate the chocolate and other food, but she didn't really care, as the food tasted so good. "Good stuff," she said to Laurelyn, who was beside her, then giggled. "Hey, ya know what, Laurelyn? There's two of you!"

okay...so if she just going nuts or is there something in the candy? (cue scary movie music :))
-tano

[Willow Oran]

Oooh! Fun, can I join?

Willow: You fools! Don't eat the food! It's a trap!

Tano (giggling and pointing at willow) Hello, who are you two?

Laurelyn: I don't think there are two of her Tano, I think there are three.

Willow shakes her head seeing that they are all completely gone. She walks over to the table and putting her hands under the edge of it turns it over spilling the food ont the floor. Her action is met with a chorus of "Hey!", What'd you do that for!" and "Awww!"

Eruviel:That wasn't very nice, you're too serious, have some chocolate.

Willow: No thanks, come on, it's dangerous here, we must go.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: Where did you come from? Why should we trust you--*Willow throws some water at the faces of the company*--OH! Willow, elen sila lumenn omentielvo. Sorry, I guess I didn't recognize you at first, let's get out of here!
Tano: Yes, we'd better run, it looks like the dwarves are coming!
Laurelyn: Hey! Oh, okay, we'd better run. . .

THe company dashes for the exit. . .

[Earniel]

They reach the door at the end of the large hall. As the company exits Eärniel stops and runs back.

Eruviel: Eärniel come back! It's too dangerous!

Eärniel stops at the turnedover table and manages to grab a bowl of chocolate before she dashes back outside with a few scores of dwarves close behind her. She joins the others as they make way for the stables.

Tanoliel: What the hell did you do THAT for?!

Eärniel: Okay they may be 'highly seasoned' but that's no reason for letting them go to waste!

Tanoliel moans

Eärniel: Besides you never know when it can come in handy, like elven rope.

Galadriel: Sure, right like when we have to pass an abyss, Eärniel can throw in her chocolate and we can fly over.

Eärniel: No need to be sarcastic about it. I just hate to see good food ruined no matter how well ruining it saved our lives.

Willow: Will you stop bickering and RUN?! We're ain't out of the fire yet!

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

And the company keeps running--right into a band of angry dwarves!

ooc: I'll let someone else go on from there...:)

[Elf Girl]

Counselor: Why'r they all so short?

Elf Girl: Climb!

Laurelyn: The insane one can't. We bound her!

Elf Girl: Dang. (leaps into a tree) Throw me the end of her ropes! (Laurelyn does so, and the entire comany climbs into different trees)

Counselor: Oof. (Elf Girl hauls her into tree)Ouch.

(the pony and horses are fighting heroicly against the dwarves when the phone falls from one of the saddlebags)

Entire Company: Preciousssssss...

(all dwarves stop)

Leader Dwarf: What an interesting object...(walks towards it)

Company: Noooooooooooooooo!!!(all jump from trees. counselor falls onto the back of one of the horses)

Counselor: oof.


ooc: I'll let someone else carry one from here.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

The company falls on the dwarves, forcing them back away from the one holding the phone. While some keep the dwarves off, Eruviel, Tanoliel, Elf Girl and Earniel surround the phone-carrying dwarf. They have their weapons out. . .

[BeardofPants]

Peace i mellon! These are your friends! I am BeardofPants, and I hail from Mirkwood. I bear tidings of bad news. The Dark Lord has once more amassed his forces, and have driven these good Dwarves from their homes! I beg of you, to set aside your differences, to help fight against a common enemy!

[Tanoliel]

Tano: a-WHO-what? All I know is that this phone is evil...
The dwarves mutter among themselves. Finally one steps forward. "We will listen to you. But stop threatening Galin." *
Tano: Uh...right...(they all step away from Galin, who drops the phone. It lies on the ground, looking up at them menacingly.)**

-tano
* Okay, so sue me, I'm not a dwarf name generator...:)
** I KNOW phones can't look at anything, much less look at anything menacingly. But this is an evil phone. Remember that. ;)

[Earniel]

Eärniel: Hail to thee, BeardofPants. Tell us how it fares in Mirkwood.

BeardofPants: I fear I bring only bad tidings. As I said The Dark Lord is getting himself ready to do battle again. He plans to wipe all of us off the face of Arda for good!

*the TLA gasp*

Eruviel: Indeed it is sad new you bring us. So the dark enemy has risen again. *dramatic drumroffle*

Counsellor: What ARE you lot talking about?!? I demand to know!

BeardofPants: Who is this strange person, and why is she tied up like that?

Tanoliel: She is a madwoman. We have journeyed far to heal her.

Eärniel: But meanwhile we haven't succeeded yet and now we are on a quest to destroy the Evil Mobile and now we have to fight an Evil Black lord? Why do I have the feeling that everything is up to us? It's not like we're being PAID for this.

Elf Girl: Now that you mentioned it....

Willow: Hush my friends let us be calm, the delivery of Middle Earth from the grasp of the Evil Mobile is our reward.

Eärniel: I thank you for your wise words. Forgive me, friends for my rash words for they were inspired by the Evil Mobile. I fear it's spell grows stronger every day.

*they all glare at the evil communicationdevice that, as far as it's able, glares back at them*

[TinuvielChild]

*TinuvielChild comes running up, slightly out of breath*
TC: hey guys! i just barely escaped from the dwarves! i heard there was a Tolkien Lovers Anonymous meeting today, but i woke up late and when i got there you were all gone! so i followed your trail under the River of Rock, to Imladris, and through the dwarven caves. Elrond said something about an evil cell phone?? (along with something about "stupid TLA, they took my best miruvor!"). oooh! an insane Counsellor! what fun!

[Renille]

*Flies in on an eagle*

Ren: You guys forgot me back in Rivendell. My eagle doesn't like you. *gasps* WHERE IS IT? WHERE'S MY PRECIOUS?!

[Elf Girl]

(The counselor picks up the phone)

[Willow Oran]

Willow: Evil Lords, Evil Phones, Insane Counselors.... Oi! All we need now is to run into a bunch of Fellowship hating Orcs and the chaos will be complete.

TinuvielChild: No it wouldn't, it'd be a bit closer to complete but it needs a lot more than that.

Tano: Of course, now that orcs have been mentioned a band of them will probably turn up and attack us.

Renille (watching the counselor): Ummm, I thought we were trying to keep the evil phone away from her.

(The company plus the dwarves turn to look at the counselor)

Counselor (Holding the phone aloft and dialing numbers): Yes! Freedom is near, soon you will all be prisoners of the People in White! Muhahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Company: Uh, Oh...

[Earniel]

Eärniel: I don't think so...

*Eärniel takes something from her pocket and holds it tauntingly before the counsellor's face. It's a battery. The counsellor blinks than she starts frantically fumbling with the mobile untill she gets it open. It's empty. The TLA look astonished.*

Eruviel: You took the battery out? How very good of you!

Eärniel: *blushes* Um...its not what you think....I needed it....um... my electric kitchenknife went bust last night and I wanted to use it to make dinner today....so I kinda took the battery out when you were all sleeping* blushes even deeper* I was gonna put it back tonight but....it kinda never came to that.

Renille: Luck is with us then. It would have been a real disaster if she had called the Nine People in White upon us. At al times can they hear the call of the Evil Mobile....

*TLA shivers*

TinuvielChild: Well now that's settled we need to move on. *she looks at the counsellor who looks downcast* and tie her back up. How did she get loose anyway?

Some TLA-members tie the counsellor back and put her on a horse. The others assemble their packs and make ready to take leave of the dwarves.

Willow *picks up the phone and looks dreamily* It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing.....

Tanoliel: Umm... Willow, give the Mobile back to the counsellor. She can't do much wrong with it now.

Willow: *blinks* Oh yes off course... *she puts it in the counsellor's pocket* I care not.

[Renille]

Ren: I had a question...

Eärniel: (Sighs) What NOW?
Ren: Where are we going?
Counselor-Ha, you see! Short term memory is a sign of insanity.
Ren: No...I never knew in the first place!
Counselor-*SIGH*

[Laurelyn]

Laurelyn: Well, I thought we were going to China . . . we must destroy the Cell Phone sooner or later, you know.
Tano: No! My precious! I mean . . . er . . . how are we going to destroy it in China anyway?
Eruviel: Yeah, there's no handy-dandy volcano to pitch it into, and no handy-dandy Gollum to fall in with it!
Laurelyn: Maybe the Counselor should fall in!
Counselor: Ai! No! Don't do that!

[Elf Girl]

Elf Girl: Well you were the phone-finder.

Counselor: Help! Mental Hospital! Police! Help!

Renille: However, she's the phone-berear too.

Elf Girl: I guess. Maybe we can pick up a Gollum along the way.

Counselor: You people are insane.

All: Thank you!

Laurelyn: Her condition is improving. She actually gave us a compliment!

Counselor: *groans*

[Renille]

Ren: Phone-bearer...like a ring bearer! We're the Cellowship! (giggles) So if she's Frodo...who are we?
Counselor-(mutters) insane nutcases
All:Why thank you!
Laurelyn: Wow...the phone has the opposite effect of the Ring. She gets nicer as time wears on!
Tano:Yeah, that's right. So give it to me!
Elf Girl: Haha...NO! But interesting theory, Laurelyn...I'll tell...which one of us is Gandalf?

[Rána Eressëa]

(Back in Imladris . . . )

Rána Eressëa: Hey, Elrond, do you think they destroyed that evil black object of Nokia, China?

Elrond: [blinks] [rubs his eyes] [blinks again] Heeey . . . didn't you leave with the others???

Rána Eressëa: Oh, yeah, but then I creeped away and changed my name so they couldn't find me.

Elrond: Oh.

Rána Eressëa: So, you think they're going to succeed?

Elrond: I hope so. Or else we're all doomed . . . [eyes downcast]

Rána Eressëa: Awww . . . here, have some Miruvor. [hands Elrond a bottle of Miruvor]

Elrond: [quickly grabs it] Eru bless you, child!

[Earniel]

The Cellowship of the Phone journeys onwards. They travel through strange lands and at nightfall....

Tanoliel: We have traveled far this day. Let us halt for my legs are sore indeed.

Eärniel: And I'm hungry...

Laurelyn: Now THAT's a novelty!

Eärniel: Do not insult my poor stomach for it is quick to rumble! It has supported me well on this wearying journey!

Laurelyn: Fine, fine, don't have a cow, kid...

Eärniel: *eyes shining* I can have a cow? Cool? Where is it?

Laurelyn: Errr, ask Renille!

Eärniel:Renille?

Renille: *looks angry at Laurelyn* um....later

The Cellowship makes camp. After a long and varied meal they decide on the road ahead. Eruviel takes some maps out of her bag.

Eruviel: I have found this maps on a strange place... the air was a poisonous fume and no grass grew there. The people were weird indeed, they poured some foulsmelling liquid in strange devices who afterwards sped away at the speed of an eagle!

TLA: Ooooooooh!

Eruviel: And in this barren land there was an unseemingly little heaven. They called it 'shop'. It held many stores of food and other valuable things like these precious maps. And a sweet melody played there and a soft breeze of wind chased the foul smell away...

TLA: Aaaaaaaah!

Counsellor: You robbed a GASSTATION!

Eruviel*looks dismayed at the counsellor for ruining the mood* Hey I bought it , fair and square!

The TLA bend over the maps.

Willow: Oh look at the DISTANCE! We are so never going to make it! *sobs*We are doomed! We will all fall under the spell of the Evil Mobilephone! We are doomed! Doomed, I tell ya!

Beardofpants: There, there Willow, do not let your heart be troubled. We will take some rest and tomorrow we will find a way.

Elf Gril:*smiles* Fear not, my friends for I think I have found the way.

TLA looks in astonishment at Elf Girl.

Tanoliel: Tell us Elf Girl!

Elf Girl: Long ago I learned the secrets of the wizards. For they have left now, but I remained. I searched long but I have found what I searched for so long! THE PORTAL TO MIDDLE-EARTH! Right here! At only a day travel from us.

TLA gasp again

Eärniel: All nice and impressive Elf Girl, but we ARE in Middle-earth!

Elf Girl: *chuckles* That's just the beauty of it! We use it the otherway around! We use it to go to China!

TLA cheers.

[BeardofPants]

*BeardofPants wonders why we would want to go to China.*

BoP: Why would we want to go to China? What is there that will wet our minds, and destroy the evil Mobile Phone? Are we going to Mt. Nokia upon lies the hidden way to the cracks of Plastic?

Earniel: Nay, I do not know the way. We must seek out the wizened one... Ai! Gandalf! Why didst thee flee to the west?

Elf Girl: Let us make our way to this wonderful place called 'shop'. Maybe there, we can perchance, happen upon a Wizard, wise in the ways of Mt. Nokia.

BoP: In the meantime, let us rest our tired bones, and weary souls. Let us seek out the tofu cow, and eat thou foul creation of mixed vegetables.

*Unbeknownst to the camping TLA, the evil counsellor was slowly crawling off into the distance....*

[Willow Oran]

Willow: (sees the counselor crawling away and grabs her arm) Don't even think about trying to escape lady. If you do we will be forced do nasty things unto thee.

Earniel: (grabs the counselor's other arm and nods) We may be insane, but we aren't stupid and we're very good at thinking of nasty things to do to naughty prisoners.

Counselor: (Slumps as the cellowship reties her) Why me.... of all the counselors to have this group of crazies, why me?!?!?!

Tano:Now, Now, I sensed a usage of multiple exclamation marks there, don't you know that that's a sign of insanity.

Eruviel:I thought insanity was a good thing...

[Renille]

Willow: HONESTLY. Why didn't you leave her at home in the first place? She's pitiful

Renille: Pity? It was pity that stayed our descicion The counselor still has a part to play...*mutters* but don't ask me what.Ah! That's the way out!

Tano: The way out of...where?

Renille: Gimme a break... I had to finish the quote!

Counselor-This is only a dream...this is only a dream...

[Elf Girl]

Counselor: Waaaaait...A portal? A portal back to the real world?! A portal back to the real world?! A portal back to the real world?!

[Elf Girl]

OOC: I'll pick up where I left off in the last one, I had to go.



Elf Girl: Yes, we will use the portal to get to your foul land. Now get back on your horse! We must go to this...this...this gas station, for supplies before we reach the portal. *they get the Counselor onto her horse*

Counselor: If this is a dream, the portal will wake me up!

Eärniel: She is showing definite signs of insanity.

Elf Girl: *muttering, to Laurelyn* It'll be awhile before we get there. I'm going to ask her the question.

Laurelyn: Are you sure that's wise?

Elf Girl: It is the only thing I can do to divert her.

Counselor: What? What question?

Elf Girl: Well...*takes a deep breath*

Counselor: What?

Elf Girl: Wellllllll...

Counselor: What?

Elf Girl: Do...you think Balrogs have wings?

[Renille]

Counselor- WHAT? What is a balrog, some kind of dragon? I don't know if they have wings, and I frankly could care less. *Pouts* I want to go back to the real world!

Eärniel- I really hate to tell you this...

Laurelyn- We recognize how much of a burden the phone is to you...

Elf Girl- Don't give up hope...

Tano-You can always give it to me....


BoP- At least you don't have to eat tofu...


Willow- We could all move to the Shire....

Counselor- What do you have to tell me?

Renille-
There's no way to get home unless you destroy the cellphone in China.

Counselor-*cries*

[BeardofPants]

Come! We must ere away, the break of day, and find this Gas Station: it holds the Map to Mount Nokia!

[Earniel]

The Cellowship rides on. At a short distance of the strange place called gasstation they dismount for Eruviel told them no horse was ever seen near the gasstation and they might be noticed by servants of the dark lord.

Eärniel: You know there is still one thing I don't get....

BeardofPants: What's that?

Eärniel: Well We are in Middle-earth and we need to get to the so called 'real' world, right?

Renille: Right.

Eärniel: So we are IN Middle-earth and we need to get THROUGH the portal to get in the 'real' world, right?

Tanoliel: Right...

Eärniel: A gasstation is part of the 'real' world, right?

Eruviel: Eärniel, what's the point of this reasoning?

Eärniel: Well if a gasstation is part of the 'real' world and we haven't reached the 'real' world yet because we haven't reached the portal yet and as the gasstation was closer than the portal....

TinuvielChild: Yes?

Eärniel*looks troubled* So what is this gasstation doing in Middle-earth?

Elf Girl: Well it's really quite simple....

Eärniel:*looks relieved* It is?

Elf Girl: Well yes, but I will have to tell you later.

Eärniel: Why?

Elf Girl: Can't have a decent story otherwise. All right people, let's move out! Eärniel, Willow you remain here to see to the horses and guard the counsellor.

The TLA leave. Eärniel and Willow watch them go.

[Elf Girl]

I am going away for a week. *sniff* Now don't embarrass me like you did last time I went away for a week and you hadn't made a single addition to the plot!

[Tanoliel]

Aw...you guys are HILARIOUS! Really, this is sooo funny...but I'm sorry I can't think of anything right now, I was up for more than 24 straight hours yesterday and had an very interesting airplane ride...so I'll turn up later.
-tano

[Earniel]

Originally posted by Elf Girl
I am going away for a week. *sniff* Now don't embarrass me like you did last time I went away for a week and you hadn't made a single addition to the plot!

You shouldn't have said that Elf Girl, now you've jinxed it....

[Elf Girl]

AAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!! You embarrassing, embarrassing, people! I should set a hoard of vicious, phone-bearing Counselors on you!

Anyway:

Counselor: All right, what is with you people?!!! First you make a huge fuss because you think I am insane, then you are happy when I correctly state that you are insane!!! What is with you people?!!! What is with you people?!!!

All: Hmmmmmmm...

Renille: Well, you see, it...

Elf Girl: When we call other people insane, it's bad. Since it is impossible to insult us, when other people call us insane, it's good.

Counselor: Uh, right. And this whole matter of the portal. If, by some chance, this matter of the portal is true, why is there a gas station here?!

Elf Girl: I will reveal my suspicions against my will.*all wait*

Counselor: Well?

Elf Girl: It is my belief that the Dark Lord is trying to *hushed voice* meld the two worlds into one! *all gasp*

Counselor: Yaaaay! My lawyer! I can have you all arrested!

Elf Girl: Hush! This cannot be allowed to happen. The evil devices of your world must not taint Middle-Earth. *all nod* I suspect that if the phone is destroyed, the link will be broken and the worlds will separate once more. You will be unable to find your home in the mixing of the two worlds if you do not destroy the phone. *whispering to other Cellowship members so the Counselor can't hear* She will most likely be trapped in Middle-Earth, but we will not let her know that until the deed is done.

Eärniel: That's all well and good, but what about dinner?

[Renille]

Ren- Okay. To do this right, we've got to get our roles down. We can do this according to the book. We can each be the counterpart of a REAL fellowship member, except we're the cellowship. I nominate Elf Girl for our "Gandalf".... is that okay with everyone?

Tanoliel- The counselor first. Is she Gollum or Frodo?

Laurelyn-Ummm...both?

Earniel- Glodo!

Elf Girl- Glodo? Okay, it works. But now for the rest of us. Who are WE?

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *raises hand* Definetly Pippin. I'm clumsy, I'm unobservant with occasional flashes of brilliance, I'm usually hungry, and...I'm a hobbit.
I nominate Eruviel for Legolas. Because I think she'd like that. :)
-tano

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Thank you tano!!
Yeah, I'll be Legolas. Silent, exceedingly talented, beautiful elf. That's me :)

[Earniel]

Eärniel *counts on her fingers while happily munching away an apple.* Gandgirl is one, the counsellor is two, EG is three, Tano-Pippin is four, ....um *counts remaining Cellowshipmembers* I think we're going to run in a bit of a math-problem here.....I know! Let's take another apple!

Laurelyn:Eating all our supplies isn't going to make you count any better.

Eärniel: Have you tried? I bet it does, let's find it out scientifically!

Eruviel: You probably mean culinairy.

Eärniel: That too.

Renille: If all Elf Girl told us is true, we should never have brought the Evil Mobile here. Then we're partially responsible if the two worlds merge.

BeardofPants: Auch, they won't be too grateful for that....

Willow: *pointing at the counselor* It's actually all her fault....

Counsellor: Sure fine, blame it on me! What's wrong with you people! It was YOU who dragged me here!

Tanoliel: Don't mind her, she's in denial.

Counselor: DENIAL?! It was you who denied in the first place...... *the cellowship gags her again*


(We did start out with more members than those who posted this last month, what happened to the others?)

[Elf Girl]

Originally posted by Eärniel
(We did start out with more members than those who posted this last month, what happened to the others?)

*sigh* sometimes people drift away from the thread...

Anyway:

Elf Girl: It is, indeed, the counselor's fault. She should never have come into contact with residents of Middle-Earth while she had the phone that is corrupting her mind. *so the Counselor can't hear* If she is trapped here, where can she live???

[Elf Girl]

Again, I will pick up where I left off.

Counselor: What?

Renille: Nothing. What happened to your gag?

Counselor: I finally got it off. You freaks! *Takes phone out of pack*

Tano: Hey! What are you doing?!

Counselor: I am going to get rid of it once and for all, so you'll let me go home! *prepares to throw phone in bushes*

FrodoFriend: You can't do that! You won't be able to go home withount destroying it!

Counselor: I don't believe you! I'll buy another when I get there.

Elf Girl: I would advise you, Glodo, to put the phone back in your pack. If you don't, I will get angry. Then you will see GandGirl the Neon Green uncloacked! *brandishes staff and removes cloak. Underneath it are long, flowing, neon green robes*

Eruviel: Huh? Where did you get that staff? and the robes?

Elf Girl: I found the staff by the side of the road. As for the robes, um, I put them on this morning because they were my only clean ones. My Aunt Bertha gave them to me.

[Tanoliel]

Tano: I'd advise you to listen to her, Glodo. Wizards....even neon green ones....aren't that great to mess with, you see. Hey, Glandgirl, I should introduce you to my friend, Tidbits the Pink...
*munches on apple*
-tano

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: *stands there looking thoughtful and elven*
Elf Girl: Hey, Legolas, re-tie and gag the counsellor--we need to have a meeting, and glodo shouldn't hear this. . .
Eruviel: *does as GandGirl requested*

[Renille]

Renille-I would advise you, Glodo, to no longer call us "freaks." You may now refer to us as "fellow members of the cellowship" or by our proper names. You can call me Aragren. (PS-Is that okay with everybody???)

Counselor-*with last attempt at logic* All right. I see what your problem is. Definitely schizophrenia. I mean, come on...your name is Renille Nibenel...you told me so early.

Tano-skitsowhateea?

Earniel-Sorry. The mental illness thing doesn't work here.

Elf Girl- Nope...only magic in this world.

Counselor- NO!

Renille- (to the cellowship) This could be a VERY long journey.

[Elf Girl]

Elf Girl: *gestures rest of Cellowship out of Counselor's hearing* As I've said, when the deed is done, she will be trapped in Middle-Earth. Act as if she will be able to get to her home if she does it. *Everyone goes back to the counselor*

Renille: We're going to trust you without a gag. For now. *removes gag* Let's get going, or we'll never destroy the phone.

Counselour: You freak in the gree- *everyone looks very annoyed* Er, I mean Elf Girl,

Elf Girl: That's GandGirl.

Counselor: But you said earlier- Never mind.

Elf Girl: Come on! We need to get going!

Counselor: You're sure I won't be able to get home if I don't destroy it? *to herself* I'm asleep, I'm asleep.

Elf Girl: *exchanges glances with other Cellowship members* Um, yes.

Eärniel: Hey! We never had dinner!

Renille: *Chucks Eärniel five apples*

Eärniel: Ow!

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

EG/Legolas: Here, I have in my bag some lembas. It will keep your energy up for a long time. *passes around the lembas*
Earniel: aw, this stuff doesn't really fill you up any. . .oh well, it's food.
Glodo/counselor: What is this stuff? It's another of your crazy, stupid, inane, made-up thi--*EG holds up the gag in front of counselor's face, as the rest of the company glares* er, okay, I'll have some.
Elf Girl: Good. Glad you are being so agreeable.

[Renille]

Eruviel- Here you go. *hand her lembas in mellorn leaves.*

Counselor- bread wrapped in leaves?? How very unsanitary!

Cellowship, all together- JUST EAT IT!

Counselor-*eats* It's actually good! Amazing.

Aragren (ME!)- You can only eat half a cake at a time. We have to make it las t.

Earniel- *sigh*

Tano- I'm kinda hungry still...are there any more apples?

[Tanoliel]

EG/Legolas: There are always apples...*tosses apple to Tano, it hits her in the head*
Tano: Owwww...oh well...it's food.

-tano

[Earniel]

Eärniel: So after this delicious (if somewhat small) meal, maybe we need to discuss what road we'd take. So how did your trip to the strange place called 'gasstation' go? Anything good?

the others stare at her blanky

Eärniel: You DID go right? I SAW you leave!



(So who's still in our depleted ranks of the cellowship? It makes it easier for me to know who I can let say stuff)

[Renille]

Elf Girl- Well, did you?

Renille- Speak up, or we'll have to use...

Cellowship (in an onimous voice)- THE GAG!

Counselor- *sob* Yes, I admit. I was at the gas station! I have this strange urge for Tootsie Rolls! I needed to get one.That's the only reason. I promise.

Earniel- SUUUURE..

Tano-Tell us the truth or else we'll use...

Cellowship- THE GAG!

[Tanoliel]

Glodo: Is it SO wrong to have a craving for Tootsie Rolls?
Tano: Well, no, but...come on, tell us the real reason!
Glodo: (mutters something)
Cellowship: What?
Glodo: BATTERIES! Batteries, all right!
Tano: Ahhh...the secret at last...
Lego/EG: Batteries...it sounds strangely familiar... (Tano whispers something in her ear) Oh. Right. Batteries.

-tano

[Elf Girl]

Heehee...

[Elf Girl]

Elf Girl: Did you succeed in your errand to get these batteries? *looks tall and imposing in her neon-green robes* Bring forth the phone, Glodo!

Counselor: *draws herself up* Bring it forth you said. Do not let that thought grow in you! You will never get it back. But the desire of it may betray you to a bitter end. You will never get it back. In the last need I should talk through the Precious; and the Precious mastered you long ago. If I, holding it, were to command you, you would obey, even were it to leap from a precipice or to cast yourself into the fire. And such would be my command. So have a care!

*All cheer wildly*

Counselor: What?

*All cheer some more*

Counselor: What?

Eruviel: You quoted!

Counselor: I quoted what?

Renille: Tolkien's writing!

Counselor: I haven't read any of it, how can I quote it! *Everyone else is congratulating each other*

Elf Girl: *pleased* She is settling into her role!


OOC: I hope no one minds that I did that.

[Renille]

Renille-*ecstatic* This is SO cool!!! You are now a real member of the Cellowship!

Tano-We're happy to see that you're adjusting.

Elf Girl- here, have another lembas.

Counselor- Nassty elf food, It's ashes, asshees, my preciousss.

Eruviel- I don't know if it's a direct quote, but you did it AGAIN!

[Tanoliel]

(It's...uh...more than a little weird to think of "Frodo" and "Gollum" as one non-Tolkienite person...heh...I like it. :))

Tano: Well, I can't help you there. It's all we've got, I'm afraid. Besides apples. And I'll probably eat most of those.
Glodo: We could...go to the store?
Eruviel: No. We must continue the quest.
Tano: Oh, honestly...
Elf Girl: She's right. We must go on. I think you must learn to accept the lembas. *turns to rest of Cellowship* Frodo liked them...she's got to eat them sometime, hasn't she?
Tano: One would think....I will, if she won't. *EG kicks her* OW! So sue me, I'm a hobbit...food-oriented, you know...

-tano

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

EG: Now let us continue on our quest. We have eaten, and now it is time to go onward.
Glodo: *clutching the phone* my preciousssss
The company smiles in Glodo's direction; She's learning.
EG: hey, Earniel, before we set off, do you have any more Miruvor from the house of Elrond Half-elven?
Earniel: Sure, I got some right here. I'll pass it around, but don't take too much! Use it sparingly, we have but a little. *she passes it around, after taking a large swig herself*
And the company sets off...

ooc: uh, guys? where are we headed? I mean, which direction?

[Elf Girl]

*all reach harbour*

Elf Girl: We have reached the shore!

Eärniel: How will we get across?

Elf Girl: On this boat Cirdan built me.

Counselor: No. NO! I am not setting foot on a boat. They make me queasy.

Eruviel: You shall have to. But are we sure this won't land us in Valinor?

Elf Girl: Yes, we are. I should think I would know the location of my own country! Come the boat is over here. *walks up dock and gets on a seemingly random boat* Get in and we'll untie it! *all get in, Counselor forced in unwillingly. Eärniel unties boat*

Counselor: Ugh...

Elf Girl: So, uh, anyone know anything about boats?

[Elf Girl]

OOC: I was tired of walking, so now we can do seasickness things for a while.

[Renille]

Renille- Ummm...they're supposed to float...

Eruviel- NO...really? How surprising.

Renille-I was merely being sarcastic.

Eruviel- NO...really? How surprising.

Elf Girl- Stop that, you two. Or see the power of Gandgirl the Green unveiled!

Tano- I'm a Took! I know boats!

Earniel and Eruviel- We're elves, we know boats!

Elf Girl- Good. You are official co-captains of the vessel. I'll map out the course.

Renille-What am I going to do?

Elf Girl- Oh , you?You're in charge of Glodo. Now let's go!

Renille-Oh joy.

Glodo- *looks queasy and green as she sits in the boat.*

[Earniel]

Gandgirl the neon leads the two co-captains to a cabin inside. She opens a box filled with maps and papers and takes one out. She rolls the map open on the table.

Elf Girl: *points at map* So at the moment we are here. And we need to get to here.

Eruviel: *whispers to Eärniel* I feel a déja-vu coming up...

But before Eärniel can reply Elf Girl looks up with a frown and says: Look, I'm trying to explain things here. Would you mind to actually listen?

Both elves snap to attention: Yes M'am!

The three of them bend over the maps.

Eruviel: Well, going from here to here seems easy enough.

Eärniel: Yeah, it looks easy on paper, but what about sea currents, prevailing winds? We have a crew that doesn't know how to handle a ship...*stops to look at Eruviel and Gandgirl who are staring at her* What? *slightly insulted* Well excuse me not because I spend that much time in kitchens doesn't mean I know a thing or two about ships. See my name? Eärniel you know, eär meaning sea and stuff? I'm a bloody Falathrim!

Gandgirl and Eruviel still stare.

Eärniel: Oh you didn't know that?

Eruviel: Um..no?

Eärniel: Drat, I was so sure I mentioned it when I applied for that vacant post in the Cellowship....

Elf Girl: Anyway...Can we concentrate on the way ahead?

Eruviel: Alright but it does look like its not going to be such an easy crossing. We left the harbour rather hasty. I know speed is in order for our quest but are we able to handle this sea voyage?

Eärniel: Not to mention, do we have enough supplies?

The halt as they hear screams on deck.



Elf girl, you've read my mind. I was just thinking of bringing the Cellowship to the sea myself.:)

[Elf Girl]

Haha! I am GandGirl the reader of minds! Anyway,


*screams on dock continue*
Random Guy on Dock: My boat! Who are those crazy people in my boat!

Eruviel: *to Elf Girl* But I thought you said Cirdan-

Elf Girl: Shush! So I exaggerated a little! We'll be fine!

Random Guy: My booooooat!!!

[Renille]

*MEANWHILE, Renille is holding back Glodo's hair as she becomes seasick again and again and again...you get the picture.*

Renille- Umm...are you okay?

Glodo- *groan* Not really.

Renille- You do realize, don't you, that we just got off the peir?

Glodo- WE'RE OFF THE PEIR?! Ugghh... *passes out*

Renille- Great. GANDGIRL!

Elf Girl- What?

Renille- Glodo just fainted.

Elf Girl- I see that.

Ervuiel- *coming up from behind* Great! Now we're going to an unknown destination in a stolen boat, and the phonebearer is seasick? What could be worse?

Earniel-*following Eruviel* Um...the coast guard is following us.

Cellowship-WHAT?

Earniel- They're shouting something about freaks in a stolen boat...I haven't seen them, have you?

[Willow Oran]

OOC:I'm back!!!!!!!! Sorry I've been away so long. Anyway...

IC

Willow(Merry): Uh... Guys? Those coast guard elves really don't look happy.

Tano: Oh they're just upset about those freaks in the stolen boat.

Eruviel:Ya, Don't worry I'm sure they'll find them, you don't have to be afraid of the nasty pirates.

Gandgirl: Pirates? We have to deal with pirates as well?

Earniel: No, I think They're trying to assure Willow that the coast elves will catch the freaks who stole a boats.

Willow:But I'm worried that they will catch the people who stole the boat, We are the people who stole the boat! Honestly, Am I the only sane one here?

Renille:Someone break out the sugar. We can't have members of the cellowship going sane on us.

Tano: The phone must be affecting her, it's alright Willow we won't let they phone take you over.

Eruviel:You know, she could be right about those coast elves, they're heading right for us...

[Earniel]

Eärniel: Freaks? They call us freaks?

Renille: We maybe freaks but I resent being called a boatthief!

Willow Oran: We are boatthiefs!

Renille: No we're not, we're just borrowing one....

Glodo: *waking up and temporarily forgetting to be seasick* The coast guard! I'm saved! *starts waving and jumping up and down* I'm here! Help! I'm abducted! Save me!

Eruviel: You hear that? After all we have done for her....How ungrateful *sniff*

Gandgirl: *hits Glodo unceremonious on the head who then falls to the deck* Fne, there goes my reputation.... Take her below deck.

*some TLA-members carry the counsellor away*

Eärniel: We're doomed! They are gaining on us! I don't wanna go to prison!* hides behind Gandgirl*

*The TLA watch helplessly as the coast guard draws closer.... suddenly a swishing sound is heard and something large sails over the heads of the Cellowship. Something large also hits the coastguardboat and sinks it.

The Cellowship turns around. Tanoliel stands next to a large ondeck catapult, she is holding a piece of rope that is used to trigger the device.*

Tanoliel: What? Why are you staring? Did you want to get caught, then?

Willow: You...um you...sank a boat of the coast guard!

Tanoliel: *shrugs*We have a duty, can't go having nice looking coast guards destract us.

Elf Girl: Somehow I think they weren't planning on destracting us.

Eruviel: I'm not sure who to fear more: Tano or the coast guard.

Elf Girl: Well at the moment there isn't much to fear from the coats guard. Will you stop that? *to Eärniel who is still hiding behind the wizard*The coast guard are gone, there's nothing to be afraid of.

Eärniel: *comes out of hiding and straightens up* I knew that, just checking if you did.

[Renille]

*whispered conference between the cellowship, excluding Tano.*

Tano- What are you guys talking about?

Elf Girl- Congratulations, Tanoliel...I mean...Peregrin Took! You have achieved the rank of " dangerous insane hobbit Class A!"

Willow- You were SO brave in front of the guard. I'm glad to have you as a "cousin!"

Tano- Wow...you guys are so awesome...I don't know what to say.

Cellowship- HOW ABOUT THANK YOU?

Tano- Okay. Thanks.

Renille- Heehee.

Eärniel: What?

Renille- I have something to celebrate with. DON'T TELL GLODO!

Eruviel- Uhh...are you okay? What illegal stuff did you bring?

Renille- Of course I'm okay. And this stuff isn't illegal. I found it in my sweatshirt pocket in my pack from home. Mini chocolate bars! Enough for one each.

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Mmm....chocolate is always good as a celebratory food!

ooc: Gosh, thanks, ya'll....*sniff* it means so much! :) Heh....my friend has labeled me "worse than clowns." Figure that one out. ;)

-tano

[Elf Girl]

*all munch chocolate*

Elf Girl: *through large mouthful* Enough! We must keep an eye to our course, I see the Rangers on the shore in another boat. There is a slightly green-looking man in a blue uniform with them. Eärniel, he looks suprisingly like the man who removed you from the supermarket. Maybe he has Sting, and you will be armed again!

Counselor: *wakes up again* HEEEEEEEEELP!!!

Elf Girl: I'm afraid if I hit her again I'll kill her. Do something!

Eärniel: All right. *steers boat so it hits the wake of a larger boat*

Counselor: *is sick as the boat rocks* Oogh...

Eärniel: *pleased* That should do it! But Glodo, you don't look in any shape for your chocolat bar, can I have it?

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: Arrr, maties! *tano slaps Eruviel and she snaps out of pirate-mode* I mean. . .*she eats more chocolate*
Tano: This is good chocolate!
Elf Girl: Thanks, Renille
The rest of the company, excluding Glodo: Aye, thank you Renille!
Eruviel: *looking off to the distance* Uh-oh. I see another ship. It is black, with a black sail, and it appears to be sailing toward us!
Tano: A ship? Where? I see no ship!
Earniel: There, off in the distance. Only one with the eyes of an elf could see it.
Eruviel: I think it's following us.
Elf Girl: Inconceivable!

[Earniel]

Eärniel: *happily munching away Glodo's chocolate bar*whether it's inconceivable or not we ARE being tailed and I don't like the looks of it.

*Glodo looks up from another attack of seasickness and hears the TLA talking of the arrival of the new boat. She stands up (although a bit shaky) and opens her mouth to speak.

Tanoliel: *threatening* If you go screaming again you and my ondeck catapult are going to have a little chat together!

Glodo *groans as she slumps back on the deck* Unggg don't say that!

Tanoliel: What? On deck?

Glodo *becoming a darker shade of green* agl

Elf Girl: Tano you can't use your catapult on the Phonebearer!

Tanoliel: Why not?

Elf Girl:You fool of a Took! We still need her!

Tanoliel: Oh...yeah...*mutters* Drat...

*meanwhile the black ship is coming closer so now all TLA-members can see it.

Willow Oran: It looks kinda scary......

Eruviel: Aye, do you think they're pirates?

all TLA-members: DON'T YOU START!

Eruviel: I wasn't! Honestly I was just wondering!

[Elf Girl]

*the owner of the boat pops on the deck of the black one*

Boat Owner: Aha! I've got you now! *green-looking policeman appears on deck*

Eärniel: Oi! Mister Ranger! Have you got my sword?

Policeman: A sword! The're armed!

Elf Girl: Here, take this! *hurls a chocolate bar at policeman. It lands in his mouth*

Policeman: *chokes* Oomph!

Eärniel: *sniff* GandGirl...what a sacrafice...

[Renille]

Renille- PUSH HIM IN, PUSH HIM IN! (Does so)

Elf Girl- What are you doing?

Renille- Protecting the Cellowship...my job. Remember?

Elf Girl- No, that's MY job!

Renille- Oops...sorry. But you helped alot!

Tano- I wanted to use the catapult again!

Eruviel- Umm...you guys? I don't think that guy can swim.

Tano- Haha...yes!*catapults the end of the string to the policeman.

Cellowship Pulls him in and binds him.

Elf Girl- The rest of you Rangers! We come in peace! We have a hostage that we will release to you only when you let us pass! Let us pass!

Willow- Glodo just became seasick again.
EVERYONE- *groan*

[Tanoliel]

The other policeman: Come on, you guys, just turn yourselves in....it'll be a lot less trouble that way.
Tano: turn ourselves in?
Renille: They really ARE pirates!
EG: ARRR, maties!
Everyone: quiet, you!
EG: Heh. Right. *eats more chocolate*
Tano: We call for a parley! *grabs white flag--Eru knows where she got it, just don't ask--and, with the flag in her teeth, scrambles up the mast, where she fixes the flag on the top.* (Have we got a mast? Oh, well....he do now.)
Policeguy: No, miss, really, we just want the boat back...
Gandgirl: We'll give you back the hostage if you let us pass freely...
(everyone holds their breath, waiting in a very dramatic moment, as the policeman considers....)

CUE DRAMATIC MUSIC! :)
-tano

[Elf Girl]

Suddenly Glodo cuts in with

Glodo: Aaah! Help! Save me! *is seasick* They've kidnapped me! *sudden change comes over her* Nasty elves, yes, that's why we tries to escape, yes, nasty elveses...*all on boat cheer*

Policeman: What? Huh? Are you in danger, miss?

Eärniel: Mister Ranger! DO...YOU...HAVE...MY...SWORD?!

Policeman: Sword again! They're- *Elf Girl pulls out taut bow and arrow, and neon green sparks shoot from her staff* armed...

[Earniel]

Elf Girl: stand back, every one! This foe is too large for any off you to fight!

Eärniel: Who ever said fighting? I. Want. My. Sword. Back. And I want it NOW!!!!

Elf Girl: *angrily*Stop whining! Just go eat some more chocolate!

Eärniel:*insulted* Don't you stereotype me! *but munches away a candybar anyway*

*The TLA give Gandgirl some room. Willow pulls Eärniel back. In awe they look upon the wizardess. Gandgirl seem to grow and her majestic voice is heard far over the water.*


Gandgirl: *booming voice*You shall not pursue us any longer! I am the wielder of the yet uncommercialised green neon fire! Your course will lead thee to thy doom! The ship will be returned when it has served it's purpose! This I Gandgirl the Neongreen tells thee! Now turn thy ship!

The TLA wait in wonder for the pursuing Rangers to reply. The Ranger looks strangely unimpressed if only a bit baffled by the strangeness of the demand. Then he pulls out a megaphone and lo! His voice rivals Gandgirls voice!

Policeman: This is the police! Stop the engines and turn yourselves in! I repeat! Surrender the vessel!

Eruviel: *shrieks and presses her hands against her ears* There's a fell voice on the air!

Renille: It's the voice of Sarumaaaaaan!!!

*Eärniel and Tanoliel hide in terror behind the catapult. Gandgirl looks baffled for a second than she recovers and faces the policemen angrily*

Gandgirl: It is unwise to threaten Wizards, foul ally of Saruman! For they are quick to anger and their anger better be feared!

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Police: Uh. . . .*they look confused*
Eruviel: *regaining her mild sanity, and ceasing to panic* Begone, and leave us to our course. We will trouble you no more, if you let us pass. If not...
Gandgirl: You will feel the wrath of Gandgirl the Neon Green!
Earniel: And give me my sword back!

[Renille]

Renille- They will not stand alone if it comes to a fight! I am Araren, son...er...DAUGHTER of Artharen. I will help Glodo and Gandgirl to the end. AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!

Police- Oh. Okay. I see what this is. Bob, call psychiatry.

Elf Girl- *gasps* Fly, you fools! They are summoning the evil ones, bred in flames...feeding on others' thoughts! It is too large a foe for you to face. Fly!

Renille- No! We have to stay here to help!

Eruviel- You have my bow.

Earniel- And my sword...wait, I don't have it!

Tano- And my...catapult!

Willow- And my loyal support!

Renille- And I already said my piece.

Elf Girl- Fine. But you'll run later.

Earniel- Where?

Elf Girl- Don't worry. Just go eat some more chocolate.

[Elf Girl]

Elf Girl: Get the boat in out into the ocean!

Eärniel: Okay. *steers boat out of harbor. Black ship tries to follow*

Elf Girl: You cannot pass! I am the wielder of the Secret Fire- Huh? *bright green plastic ring falls off finger into water* Hey! Come back! *black ship's prow bumps against boat. Elf Girl smashes her staff on it*

Guy on Boat: Hey! You'll hurt this boat of my friends as well! *everyone suddenly notices the hostage again*

Hostage: Let me goooooo!

Elf Girl: *forgetting to be Gandalf* He looks an awful lot like the guy who has your sword, Eärniel. Search him. *Remembering Gandalf again* Ah yes. If you surrender the sword of my companion and fellow adventuror, Eärniel, we will let you go. Now...*jumps off boat*

Policeguy: Suicide! Go after her!

Cellowship: Noooooo!

Elf Girl: *bobbing up on the other side of the boat, clutching green ring* What's the problem? Throw me a rope, will you?

[Earniel]

The TLA let out a sigh of relief. They urgently pull Gandgirl back aboard. Eruviel then takes the speed one gear up to outrun the black boat. Tanoliel hands the dripping Gandgirl a towel.

Tanoliel: By Eru, Gandgirl you scared us witless!

Elf Girl: That's my job....er..I mean off course, I know but it was necessary.

Hostage: *shrieks as Eärniel searches for her sword* you can't do that! That's against regulations! HELP! Mommy!

Eärniel: Shut you trap or I'll do it for you! I want my sword back!

*she accidently pulls out his gun*

Eärniel: Now what is this worthless piece of junk?


Eärniel waves the gun around. The hostage sees her waving the gun and makes the rapid calculation: one looney + gun = get out of here! Taking advantage of the one moment the TLA drop their guard, he jumps overboard.*

Eärniel:*runs to the side of the ship and shouts at the hostage who swims away rapidly* Don't you think you get away that easily! Chicken! Get back here and GIVE ME MY SWORD BACK!!!!

Renille: I don't think he wants to....

Eärniel: Not like he has a choice! *continues to pour the most foul curses over the head of the ex-hostage as Eruviel takes the boat further into the ocean, while the black boat slows down to pick up the hostage.*

Eärniel: *wails*NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! My sword...... *goes off sobbing and sulking in the corner vowing to herself to pursue with great hatred and undying vengeance any ranger who might have - even remotely - the guts to withhold her sword form her ever again. *

[Claenoic]

Suddenly, a cry is heard from near the stern of the ship!

Claenoic: Friend Earnil! Save me! I cannot swim!
Earnil: Oh no!
*all quickly rushes to stern, ignoring the counselor. They haul me up*
Claenoic: *coughcough* Thank you. I feared for my life!
Glodo: (thinking) Oh no! Not another one!
Earnil: What are you doing, tarrying around here? And how did you get out here.
Claenoic: I wished to join the meeting, so I tracked you all the way here. I manned a ship myself, and sailed to recconoiter with the Cellowship. But the cruel rangers attacked my ship, and took me prisoner! For fifteen minutes passed in that white coat *shivers* I will never forget it. May I please join you?
Ooc: Well? Can I?

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: Of course you can!!! The more the merrier! :D

Eruviel: *hands Claenoic a towel, and goes back to manning the boat, taking her further out to sea*

[Earniel]

OOC: Sure you can join! But just for the record: My name is Eärniel not Eärnil. Eärnil was a Gondorian king, I'm just me :)

Eärniel: Welcome Claenoic! A long journey have you made indeed. You don't happen to have seen my sword aboard the rangership do you? Probably not...*goes back to sulking in the corner*

[Claenoic]

OOC: Stupid me *whacks head*

Claenoic: Thank you. *Rubs head with towel* mmfmmmfmfmmfhmmm.
All: ???
Claenoic: *Sneeze* Whoa, 'scuse me. As I tried to say, I found that a few young rangers were talking about a certain mad person with a, as they put it, "Freakin' cool sword!" Unfortunately, I do not believe they were referring to you, nor do I believe that your weapon was on board. I'm sorry *pats Earniel's back*.

[Elf Girl]

It's been almost 48 hours and there have been no new additions! Evil people!



Counselor: *is sick. In effort to keep clothes away, the phone falls out of pocket (the ponies were left by the shore)* PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!!

Tano: precious...

Rest of company: preciousssss... *everyone dives overboard after the phone*

[Earniel]

*Eärniel considers halfway over the railing. She clings to the boat just in time and climbs back on board*

Eärniel: Precious or not, I'm not going swimming without my swimmingsuit. *goes into cabin to search for swimmingsuit and possible inflatable buoys, she finds neither*Drat

Meanwhile the entire Cellowship is diving for the Evil Phone. In their haste to get to the phone they pulled Glodo in too. Glodo just experienced how difficult it is to be seasick and swim at the same time. She therefore clings to Willow. Willow meanwhile has her own relevation: staying afloat with on seasick Glodo clinging on is rather difficult.

Eärniel: Have you found it yet?

Gandgirl: *testily*No but it would go easier if you helped!

Eärniel: *grins* Why didn't you say that before? *hurls fishing net overboard and fishes up the floating Cellowship*

Renille:*gasping for air* Say, where is Eruviel?

Willow:*pushing Glodo away* And where's Claenoic?

Tanoliel: Alas, I fear they are lost as well as the Evil Mobile. Our quest has failed. Our cities will fall....

*the TLA stand struck by the horrible news. Glodo cheers at the prospect of not having to go to Mount Nokia. She gets whacked by Renille. Glodo then becomes seasick again*

Renille: ...But I don't live in a city....

Gandgirl:*angrily* No one leaves my Cellowship until I say so!

She dissapears into cabin and reappears with a fishing rod. She hurls it over the railing and starts chanting an old incantation.

OOC: very well, I was gonna wait until some more people had posted so I wouldn't monopolise this thread too much but if it's additions that you want....:) Sadly enough not my best addition but somebody else can fish for our Cellowshipmembers. :)

[Claenoic]

All of the Cellowship (even Glodo :) ) peer into the water for any sign of the phone. After a while, Gandgirl feels a tug on her pole.

Gandgirl: Fore! I mean, Timber! I mean, Land ho! *Shakes her head* The heck with it...

All of the Cellowship looks at the end of the line.

Cellowship: *blinky blink*

The hook is attached to the back of the soaked Eruviel's shirt.

Eruviel: *taps foot in midair* Well? Aren't you going to get me down?

OOC: Will they get Eruviel down? Will Earniel EVER get her sword back? The the phone be recovered? *GASP!* WHERE AM I?????

[Renille]

Elf Girl- Don't just stand there! Get her down!

Glodo- My preciousss...

Renille-*whack* Be quiet and help!

Eruviel-Um...you guys? My blood seems to be rushing to my head...

Earniel-Okay...okay...I'm coming. (Unhooks Eruviel) Are you satisfied, your highness?

Eruviel-Thank you. Now go and eat some more chocolate.

Earniel-WHY must people label me as a chocoholic? (eats some anyway)

Tano- Great...but still...where's the phone?

Cellowship-*gasp* *shrug* No idea.

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Haven't you got any spells or anything, Gandgirl? There must be something?
Gandgirl: (annoyed) Be quiet and let me think. Throw yourself in the water and look for it, Tanoliel.
Tano: *looks at herself, sees she is entirely soaked anyway* Um...okay. *Jumps overboard again.*

-tano

[Earniel]

OOC: I just wanted to say, our little RPG is well over 50 pages. Don't stop! I think we're doing great. Thank you for not letting this RPG die like so many promising less fortunate RPG's. Oop, I just hope I didn't jinx it by saying that. Keep it going. The TLA lives!

Elf girl: You fool of a took!*rushes over to the railing* Why do you have to take everything so literally!

Tanoliel:*down in the water* Hey! But YOU said...!

Elf girl: Yes, yes! I know what I said! Get out of there! One TLA-member missing is enough!

Eärniel:*looks over railing at Tanoliel* Tano! If you drown, can I have your catapult?!

Tanoliel: *down in the water* WHAT!? IT's MINE! MY PRECIOUSSSS!! Thief! Thief! Eärniel!

Eärniel: *looks confused at Gandgirl* Did you hear that? Does this means we have ourselves a tanollum as well?

As Gandgirl opens her mouth to answer, she's interrupted by Renille.

Renille: *looking over the railing at the other side of the boat* Look!

The TLA rushes over to Renille. Renille points out some airbubbles. Seconds later Claenoic appears.

Willow: Claenoic! We feared you were lost. We thought you were dead!

Renille: Does this means he/she (sorry I have no idea :o ) has to be white now?

Eruviel: Dunno, he/she wasn't really grey before, so I'll guess it doesn't matter.

Claenoic: I'm touched that you guys are glad to see me again. But would you mind to get me out of here?

*The Cellowship pulls Claenoic on board*

Willow: So now the Cellowship is whole again, but we have lost the Evil Phone. It might ensnare a new bearer...

Claenoic: Fear not. Behold! *holds up the Evil Phone!*

[Claenoic]

OOC: Girl :)

Claenoic: *gives phone back to Glodo* (softly) precioussssssssss.....
Renille: Whatcha say?
Claenoic: Never mind.
Gandgirl: How did you come by it?
*Goes on about a lanternfish and how it challenged me to a riddle contest*

[Renille]

Renille-Um, Claenoic, lanternfish DON'T TALK!

Claenoic- Hmmph...how would you know?

Renille- You're turning into a...a Claenoilbo!

Eruviel- Don't mind her...she's weird like that.

Glodo- Thank you so much for giving my phone back, Aunt Claenoilbo!

Earniel- What did she say?

Tano- She knows who she is! She's recovering!

Elf Girl- Oh thank goodness.

Renille- Look you guys! Land! Land! It's...it's LothorieODonald's! The fair trees blossom here under golden arches. It used to be the most plentiful place in Middle Earth until the shadow of grease appeared over the land.

Claenoic- Is she ALWAYS like this?

Earniel- She loves being Aragren. She gets into the part. A little too much.

[Elf Girl]

OOC: Very good, very good! Lotses of new additionses, precious. *pats Cellowship on the heads*



Elf Girl: Eärniel, can you land the boat so we can enter LothorieODonald's? *Eärniel does so* But what will we do with it?

Renille: I don't want to leave our faithful boat, but we can't carry it all the way into LothorieODonald's.

Elf Girl: We left all the choc- *glances at Eärniel* I smell chocolate coming from the woods. Let's go!

*after a little while of tramping under endless golden arches*

Counselor: What? What was that?

All: What was what?

Counselor: Someone said "Glodo..."

*all exchange glances*

Elf Girl: She really is settling into her part. Glodo, the voice you hear is most likely Caladriett, the Elf Queen of LorieO.

Counselor: *still listening to the air* I do not bring a great evil!

Elf Girl: If you have walked with your ears closed until now, open them! -Wait, I'm supposed to say that to Pippin.



OOC: Caladriett is Cate Blanchett (did I spell that right) and Galadriel. Oh, and we can get rid of the posters who are technicely still along but aren't posting by leaving them in LorieO! Then if they get angry and make themselves catch up, so much the better, we have another member!

[Earniel]

Originally posted by Elf Girl
OOC: Caladriett is Cate Blanchett (did I spell that right) and Galadriel. Oh, and we can get rid of the posters who are technicely still along but aren't posting by leaving them in LorieO! Then if they get angry and make themselves catch up, so much the better, we have another member!

OOC:Oh goodie! But frankly I thought we left some in Rivendell and some other members with the dwarfs. But LothorieO is the perfect spot for losing some. I do hope they return.



Eärniel: Do you think she will let us stay? I mean, we don't really bring a dwarf with us, but we've got a counsellor....That might be just as bad.

Glodo:*jumping up and down* I do not bring great evil !!!!

Eruviel: *slightly angry* No, but you bring great noice! Elves have very good ears. They could shoot you in the dark!

*Glodo subdues at that prospect. Suddenly the Cellowship hear a elven voice saying: "Well actually, lady elf, that was MY line..."

Before the Cellowship has recovered from their suprise, they are surrounded by elves with bows.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: They need to get back on the boat. So many things can happen at sea. *evil grin* Ooh wait! I know! Just you wait...

Still OOC: PS: Love it guys!(and girls, elves, etc.)

[Renille]

OOC- Yeah, you guys left ME in Rivendell! But that's okay...I caught up.

IC-
Renille- We come in peace! We are weary and seek counsel with the Lady of the Arches. *Psst...Elf Girl!*

Elf Girl- *What?*

Tano.-*You'd better die.*

Elf Girl- *WHAT?*

Renille-*You were never supposed to be here. You're messing up the story.*

Elf Girl- I HATE Tolkien purists.

Elf- AHEM!

Earniel- Umm...as Araren said...ummm...can you get these arrows away from our necks please?

Elf- Yes, and I will lead you through the wood. But the counselor must go blindfolded.

Glodo- What? That wasn't in the job description! But I will be content if Eruviel is bound with me.

Eruviel- But... but...I'm an elf and a kinsman here!

Elf Girl- Wow! She knew who was Legolas! But we can all go blindfolded. It's no trouble, really.

Tano.-How would you know? You're not supposed to be here in the first place.

Renille-Never mind. Just put the blindfolds on. *Great idea, Ms. Gandgirl. Sheesh.*

[Laurelyn]

Tano: *trips and falls over an arch* Drat!

Laurelyn: Whatsamatter? Hey, at least you know where you are, you're on the ground! I have no idea if I'm upside down or what !*sways* I lose my balance when I can't see . . . . . *sways dizzily again and falls, leaning on an arch.*

Gandgirl: *Muttering:*Oh, great. I hoped to be rid of this freak.

Laurelyn: *tries to stand and falls down again* Did you . . . . say something?

Glodo: I will take full responsibility for every bruised toe and . . . .

Laurelyn: Oi, is she quoting agin? Yippee!

Glodo: well, maybe I was, but if youd've let me finish . . . . wait. That's a quote? AAAHHHH!

Renille: I think it's a quote, anyways . . . .*flips through book* Only, it's Gimli's line.

Eruviel: Do we care that the thing is gimli's line at this point? We don't have a ring, we have a phone. *precioussss* There's a difference in the stories at this point.

Earniel: And a difference in food, too?

Laurelyn: I hate fast food. Ugh! *Falls again.*

Glodo: I would say I'm sorry, but you're the one who started this dratted RPG in the first place. It's your fault Laurelyn, you evil . . . .

Claenoic: OKay, break it up, you two. *Whispers to Gandgirl* CAn we lose Laurelyn somewhere . . . . leave her behind?

Gandgirl: maybe. But she'll catch up to us again, anyways.

Earniel: Hey, wait a minute. Isn't it Gandgirl's fault that we're all blindfolded? She is, after all, the one who said we could all be blindfolded in the first place. iT would have just been Eruviel and Glodo.

Gandgirl: Well, yes, but won't there eventually be a message from Caladriett saying she's expecting us and we get to ditch the blindfolds?

Tano: Maybe. But you must realize that Glodo here is on the psychotic range of things, and truth be told if I were Caladriett I wouldn't do that.

Glodo: Hey! !@#$%^&*()!!!!

Gandgirl: A plague on the stiff necks of Counselors . . . .

Glodo: A plague on the stiff necks of wizards, you meean, especially neon green ones:

GAndgirl: Hey, we could've left you in Rivendell to be taught by Elrond on the ways of middle earth!

Glodo: Why, don't you have need of me? For I am the bearer of the One Phone, the one half-crazy-ling who shall bear it to its doom! Should I not wish to aid you in destroying this evil, I could claim it for myself. And then where would you be? The Quest would have fallen, and then all should be in deep ruin. For it would mean doom to me, but if I wished to thwart you, I could!

All: *Flip through books* Oi . . . . she's getting into this.

GAndgirl: I know. That's the problem . . . .

[Faramir]

*door opens*
C(ounselor)Hello, whats your name?
Damien:My name is Faramir and I have traveled 110 days to get here.*Dami- I mean, Faramir is wearing Gondorian warrior clothing, but is wearing sneakers underneath*
C: Um, I see...O.K., write your name on this name tag, then put it on.
D:Yes, I will,*puts on nametag*Do you have anywhere I can park my horse?
:D

[Earniel]

OOC: YEAY!! Laurelyn is back! :) I was hoping you'd make a second appearance since you're after all the founder of this thread.

OOC2:Welcome Faramir! I would suggest you read the thread first before you continue posting. We're already a long way of from the counsellor's office. ;)

Eärniel stumbles and looses her footing. She falls on Claenoic, pulling her down too.

Eärniel: *mutters* now I know why I prefer shores, not as many bloody tree roots to fall over.

Claenoic: *beneath her*Is that you Eärniel?

Eärniel: Yes, Claenoic isn't it?

Claenoic: Yes, now will you get off me?

Tanoliel: What's happening? I can't see what's happening!I'm blind!

Eruviel: You're blindfolded you fool of a Took!

Eärniel: *sits up*oh yeah, sorry...

Claenoic: *annoyed*You call your self an elf? You're supposed to be lightfooted, not as heavy as an orc! That's the last time we let you in charge of the supplies!

Eärniel:*on the brink of wailing* I am an elf and I'M NOT HEAVY! If I could see where you were, I'd hit you! I've enough of being laughed at for my appetite! Fne! That's it! I've had it! No more quests for me! I'm not moving a musscle! *sits down with arms crossed*

Renille: Gandgirl....

Elf Girl: Yes, Aragren?

Renille: I'm getting claustrophobic....

Elf Girl: *mutters* dear Eru, i'm so not getting paid enough...*to Renille* You're a ranger! Get a grip!

Renille: I AM a ranger! But one with claustrophobic tendencies! I need to sit down.*sits down*

Willow: I'm hungry *sits down and starts digging in her bag*

The elves look with pitty on the Cellowship. They whisper:

Elf 1: I don't think they will make it to Caladriett's liar, I mean castle....

Elf 2: Yeah, they look like they had a hard time.... How are we going to get them to Lady Caladriett? You know how she dislikes waiting.

Elf 1: *hurriedly* I'm not carrying them you hear!?

Elf 2: Maybe we should take off their blindfold....

Elf 1: *unsure*I'm not sure the Lady would approve....

Elf 2: The Lady isn't where...

Elf 1: Right....*to the Cellowship* very well, since you are weary we shall let you take off your blindfold.

[Laurelyn]

Gandgirl: See? I told you they would let us take off the blindfolds.

Tano: *takes off blindfold* Geez, you don't hafta rub it in.

Rest of TLA: *Takes off blindfold*

Laurelyn: Oh, so That's where the ground is. D'oh!

Earniel: *throws a punch in Claenoic's general direction* Yay! I can see now!

Claenoic:*hides from Earniel* Meep! I'm sorry, okay? I can see too, by the way. So can the rest of us.

Earniel: Brilliant deduction, Einstien.

Eruviel: Well, it's nice knowing where the nearest arch is so I don't trip over it.

Glodo: *unhappily* Tell me about it.

Gandgirl: Drat, she seems to have recovered from her bout of in-character-itis.

Tano: I thought she was scaring you earlier.

Gandgirl: That's true.

Laurelyn: Then why are you annoyed that she's her normal nutcase self?

Glodo: Hey!!@#%--

Laurelyn: Language, dear Glodo.

Glodo: Language?

Laurelyn: Watch your mouth. Where the heck is FrodoFriend and that sock when we need her?

Renille: I don't know, but i wish she were here right now.

Glodo: *shuts up*

All: *relieved*Thank you.

Elf#1: Now that peace had been restored to you batch of crazies, will you hurry up? Caladriett is waiting!

All: Oops. OKay!

[Renille]

*The cellowship travels, unblindfolded, to Caladriett's office. She is found sitting at a desk wearing a uniform with the motto "We love to see your futures!*

Caladriett- Welcome to Lothloriododonalds! Can I take your order?

Elf Girl- We need to talk to you.

Caladriett- Do you ALL need applications? This is SUCH a full time of year. I'm afraid we're already fully staffed...and barely ANYONE comes here.

Renille- No, no, we don't want to work here...we need to talk.

Laurelyn- We have a cell phone problem.

Caladriett- Oh, I'm sorry. This is the wrong place. You need to go to Moria Shack for that.

Glodo- WHAT?

Earniel- You'll understand when you read the books.

Eruviel- Please. We have to go to China to destroy the evil cell phone of power.

Claenoic-You've gotta help us.Please?

Tano-Yeah, and we need some more food while you're at it.

[Claenoic]

OOC: I return! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Claenoilbo: *slumps* Yes, food would be nice.
Caladriett: You can stay here for a little bit, you know, get food, help out, and then we will send you on your merry little way to Moria Shack.
All: 'Kay!

Later that night...

Tano: OW! This ghastly floor hurts!
Laurelyn: *Knocks on tile* I believe this WOULDN'T be the right place to sleep...
Caladriett: You could always sleep in the Ball chamber.

Just a teensy bit later...

Earniel: AUGH!!! My chocolate! It has fallen into this ball pit! *goes down to save it*
Glodo: *was cooking Big Macs when Earniel's foot knocked the fire over* That's nice! Ashes on my tomatoes.
Renille: *Comes up with half a bar of chocolate* Will you look at that? Glodo's
now even quoting from that documentary!
Glodo: *rocks back and forth* This isn't happening...
Earniel: *Find the other half* Look! It's white chocolate now!
Gandgirl: Now isn't that something! But we must go to sleep, we have a long jouney tomorrow. *Starts fiddling with ring*
Tano: G'night!

Later, MUCH later...

Glodo: *Still awake* Why me?
Caladriett: *Walks by*
Glodo: What's that mad-woman up to?

OOC: Someone else do the birdbath scene, I'm getting tired.:o

[Earniel]

OOC: I think we can now officially call the tolkien lovers anonymous the longest still living RPG-thread on the entmoot. Woohoo! Go us!:D

*Glodo stalks off after Caladriett. Eruviels sharp elven ears hear her leave*

Eruviel:* nudging Gandgirl* Gandgirl, I say Gandgirl, wake up.

Gandgirl: mmmmpf? Is it morning all ready?

Eruviel: No, but Glodo is doing a runner.

Gandgirl: Tell her to run the other way grzzzzzzzzz...

Eruviel*turning to Eärniel who sleeps on the other side* Eärniel, wake up!

Eärniel: *sleepy* lemme sleep....

Eruviel:*mutters* by Eru! *tries again* I've got jummy chocolate...

Eärniel: *suddenly wide awake* Where!? Where! My precioussss.

Eruviel: Glodo is trying to get away....

Together they wake the rest of the Cellowship. They follow Glodo.

Meanwhile: Caladriett walks over to a birdbath. She flips a switch and a glow comes from the birdbath. Then she spots Glodo.

Caladriett: Would you like to look in my mirror?

Glodo: It's a bloody birdbath!

Caladriett*annoyed* Do you want to know your future or not?

Glodo: Do I have a choice?

Caladriett: No.

Glodo walks over to the birdbath and peers in. The glow lights her face, she peers intently. Meanwhile the Cellowship reach the scene and look unseen at Caladriett and Glodo. Nothing happens, Glodo says so.

Caladriett*rolls with her eyes* You have to insert a coin.

Glodo inserts a coin.

[Renille]

OOC-May our insanity endure! LONG LIVE THE CELLOWSHIP!

Renille- You guys, this is getting quite freaky. The birdbath is singing disney!

Claenoic-WILL YOU SHUSH?!

Renille-Woops. Sorry.

Birdbath- "Watch and you'll see, someday you'll be, part of their wwoorrrrllld!"

Glodo- What?

Caladriett- It's talking about you and what will happen if you fail this quest. You'll be trapped in this land forever.

Glodo- Wha...you know what I saw?

Caladriett- I know what you saw.

Glodo- Take it! You are so much more powerful than I am.

OOC- Someone else do Caladriett's reaction. Please.

[Claenoic]

OOC: Yep, definetly the longest I've ever seen.

Caladriett: *in character and completely over reacting* NO!!!! I DARE NOT TAKE IT!!!!
Glodo: *Very frightened and confused* Ooookkkk... you need major help, lady.
Caladriett: *ignoring* It would give me power unimaginable *Oh I just can't wait to be king is playing in the backround* I would become a queen, terrible and beautiful, master over every phone on earth, and behold! I have one of my own! *Holds up a clear Nokia* *Starts to turn freaky colors*
Renille: What is with these spotlights with different colored cellophane on them? *Pokes at one*

OOC: Short I know, but it's major Writers block.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

OOC: Long Live the Cellowship!!! :D TLA Lives!!!

Caladriett: I have passed the test. I will expand chains all across the West, but I will remain Caladriett. (ooc: best I could do with that one. . .:eek: )
Glodo: But I cannot do this alone! They're all freaks out there!
Caladriett: To be a phone-bearer is to be alone. But even the most un-Tolkien-ish person can change the course of the future.

The other members of the Cellowship: *leave, knowing all it relatively well*

ooc: Elf Girl, you deprived me of a scene in which I could say they were singing a lament. . .:rolleyes: :D