Tolkien Lovers Anonymous

[Earniel]

*Meanwhile Willow soars above Helm's Deep and manages to locate Aragren and her companions running from a group of huorns. She reports back to Eärniel*

Willow: I've found them, but it doesn't look good. *frowns* They were chased by huorns!

Eärniel: Huorns? Are you sure?

Willow: *testily* I think I still know the difference between a sollicitorc and a huorn.

Eärniel: Yes, yes, I know. It just struck me as odd. Hope she didn't propose to make a bonfire.... Can you lead me there?

Willow: Just follow me.

*Eärniel rides after the flying faery. Soon she spots TCwyn, Moraumer, Aragren and a man she doesn't recognize running away from a herd of angry trees.

Eärniel: Ay Caraï! I really going to need to visit the counsellor after this. Can you imagine any one believing me when I say I'm about to interfere with a herd of bloodthirsty running trees that are shouting 'sollicitorcs! Treekillers! Destroy, trample, exterminate'?

Willow: Um. No. But would you mind doing something about it? Soon we'll have no queen left.

Eärniel: Excuse me? I have to do something about it? I'm already babysitting a sleeping hobbit and a cable free palantir!

Willow: *rolls eyes* Why did you give her that chocolate then?

Eärniel: I prefer it this way over babysitting a wide awake hobbit with itchy fingers AND a cable free palantir!

Aragren: *climbing in a flag mast* Excuse me! Rescue first, talk later please!

Willow: *rolls eyes* Do I have to do everything here? I'm so not paid enough for this...*she flies over to Treemoustache* Would you mind calling them back?

Treemoustache: Hoom, let's not be hasty. The huorns...

Willow: Sorry I HAVE to be hasty, your huorns need glasses, they're chasing the wrong ones!

Treemoustache: Hooom, mmm, are you sure?

Willow: YES! They're the ones who asked your help in the first place! They all like trees and plants!

TCwyn: *also in a flagpole trying to keep her feet out of the way of the huorns * Yes! Yes! I LIKE trees! Nice trees! Don't trample poor Tcwyn please!

Treemoustache: Mmmm, I suppose you might be right... *wissles on fingers. The huorns turn around to face Treemoustache* the treekillers are THAT way! *he points to the placce where the rohirrim, Eruviel and Garina are fighting the sollicitorcs*

Willow: Yes, and remember it's not the people!

[Renille]

OOC- Yikes...traffic jam! Earniel and I seemingly posted at the exact same time about the exact same thing. They both end up pretty much the same way, though. Ignore mine. :D

[Elf Girl]

Elf Girl: Finrollum! Get me a rabbit!

Finrod: There aren't any rabbitses.

Elf Girl: *annoyed* We need one! Here! *waves staff, and green sparks appear from nearby bush*

Finrod: Thank you. *goes into bush and reappears with a dead Dodo*

Laurelyn: You call that a rabbit?

Elf Girl: Honestly! These young ones think there's a spell for everything!

Counselor: There's a spell for Dodos and not for rabbits?

Elf Girl: Shush! Everyone's getting on my case... *sulks*

Laurelyn: Finrollum, get some water.

Finrod: What does the hobbitses want the water fo-

Elf Girl: You know perfectly well! Get it!

Finrod: All right, nice wizardses...*fetches water*

Laurelyn: I'm out of matches.

Elf Girl: Hmph. *waves staff, and neon green flames rise on bare ground* Why does this all fall on me? *levitates pail of water above flames and drops dodo in* Finrollum, get some herbs.

Finrod: There aren't any.

Laurelyn: *to Finrod and Counselor* I think she's getting cranky...

Elf Girl: I heard that! Now let's wait for this to cook, herbs or no herbs. *neon green smoke is rising from fire*


OOC: Sorry, not my best addition, my parents are after me to do something and I had to hurry.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

*Eruviel runs very enthusiastically into battle, shooting orcs and solicitors left and right*
*some time later, Eruviel and Gimrina (ooc: love the name! :D) meet in the midst of battle...*
Eruviel: So, how many have you killed so far?
Gimrina: My count is 15 so far, and yours?
Eruviel: 16.

ooc: Yay! A killing contest! :D

[Garina]

Well, I would have killed more if I had my fire extinguisher!:p

They get seperated. Gimrina finds herself in the caves.

Gimrina: Darn! *looks around* Ooh! Pretty, pretty pretty colours.
*stares randomly at quartz in walls*
Outside: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Gimrina: Oh yeah, the battle.
*walks over to the entrance and trips over something*
Gimrina: Ow!
*something hard, and red, and shiny!!!"

Gimrina: A fire extinguisher! Whoo hoo! *Picks it up and charges into the battle*

:D

[TinuvielChild]

ooc: sorry I haven't posted in a while, guys. i've been kinda really busy. shall try to not do that again.


Eruviel: rrrgh! No dwarf shall defeat me with a fire extinguisher! I shall use....The Force!!!

[Earniel]

OOC: Wooops sorry Renille, I'll have to learn to spend less time typing a post. :o

Eärniel:*helps Aragren down the flag mast* Oh before I forget I've got something for you. *takes palantir out pocket* Will you take the stone of Verizonguard and guard it? It is a dangerous and heavy load.

Aragren: Dangerous indeed, but not for every one. Is this not the palantir of Orkantenna, from the treasury of...

Eärniel: *cuts in*Yes, yes will you take it now or are you going to keep on talking? Eruviel and Garina are slaying all my sollicitorcs!

Aragren: *annoyed* Hey this was my big moment! *mumbles* Gandgirl would have had the decency to let me finish. *looks back to Eärniel* My hour is coming! I will take it.

Eärniel: Please receive it then Lord! Um. Lady! lady, sorry.... But if I may advice you, do not use it yet!

Aragren: Have I ever been hasty or impatient all these long years of waiting and planning, Samniel?

Eärniel: *shrugs* Don't ask me, I've only known you since the Rangers marched me into the counsellor's office. Now can I please go and kill some orc?

Aragren: *sighs and takes the palantir* Hasty folk....

Eärniel: Thank you! * puts Tanoliel out of harm's reach so she can finish her nap* Alllright! *draws sword and whirling gizmo* AAAAA *draws breath* TAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! *storms off to the battle*

[Garina]

Gimrina: *breaks orc necks with fire extinguisher*

:D

[Renille]

Renille- Where am I supposed to keep this thing? Oh, yes. Backpack! *puts the palantir in the bag* Stay there until I can look at you closer.

Earniel- Are you coming any time today?

Renille- Stop being so hasty, will you? You're not really supposed to be here anyways!

Earniel- *Killing another orc* Nope, but me and Gandgirl switched roles, so HA!

Renille- You're supposed to be going around on Shadowfax, then!

Eruviel- Stop being such a purist and start killing orcs with Andruil already!

Renille- If you insist! (Joins the battle reluctantly...Ren hates blood)

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: Go Ren!!! Kill some orc! Woohooo--er. . .
*Eruviel ends up on the battlements somewhere. . .and draws her knives. .. *

*a while later, she meets Gimrina, with her fire extinguinsher, again*
Eruviel: So, my friend, what is your count?
Gimrina: 32, and yours?
Eruviel: 31. You have me beat by one, but the battle is not yet over. It's been knife work up there.
*they charge back in to battle*

[Earniel]

Eärniel: *waves whirring gizmo in front of orc*Hah! Fear the power of the mighty whirring gizmo!

Orc: *stops his charge and looks intruiged at the whirring gizmo* Oh, what does it do then?

Eärniel: *whacks orc* It's a distraction, stupid! Neh neh neh!

Orc:*on the ground*Oh really, I would never have guessed....

Eärniel:*looks at whirring gizmo* I knew it would come in handy!

Morauko: *kicking orc-ass* No you didn't. I said on page 15...

Eärniel: Moraumer, stop nitpicking and keep slaying.

Renille: Samniel, this thread is going to need parental guidance if you keep on talking like that.

Eärniel:*trips another sollicitorc and steps on him* Want me to give them a kiss to make it better?

Renille: Ugh. Never mind...

OOC: Wooohoo! It took me nearly 4 pages before I could slay some sollicitorc. Go me! :D Yes, I know, I'm a violent little sea elf. Nothing like blowing off exam-steam by trashing orcs.:rolleyes:

[Garina]

ooc: I know what you mean!!! Stupid exams!

Gimrina: *whirls fire extinguisher* Hmm, maybe I need a different weapon. This is cool but...

[Elf Girl]

Back at the Phonebearer's camp...

Counselor: I never liked fried dodos...

[Willow Oran]

(Flies over to where Tano is still sleeping)

Willow:To wake her up, or not to wake her up... That is the question. Ah heck, she'll probably kill me if I let her sleep through the battle. TANO WAKE UP ALREADY. BEFORE THE OTHERS KILL ALL THE SOLICITORCS!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tanoliel]

Tano: wha--? where? sollicitorcs? wha? i wanna kill stuff!
Willow: yeah, yeah, i know, come on, we're all over here...
Tano: *wraps Pippin scarf securely around her neck* All right. We're off to slay some orc! *runs into battle, slashing at random orcs; however, she has no fighting talent at all and the only reason she isn't dead is that this is an RPG and Tano can do whatever Tano wants. Besides, she's a goddess.*
-tano

[Mirahzi]

OOC: Ok, this is my first attempt at an Rpg.. so bear with me..

Gandgirl: I hear voices.

Counselor: Really?

Gandgirl: Yes, be quiet.

Counselor: Shutting up.

Faramirahzi: Ok guys, remember.. stealth. Stealth. On three, we jump out and surround them! One.. two.. three.. now!

Faramirahzi & Co.: SURPRISE!! Err.. BOO!

Gandgirl: Eek, eek.

Faramirahzi: That didn't work..

Gandgirl: Apparently not.

Counselor: Well, I'd rate your entrance a 6.. but your volume was definetely a 10!

Faramirahzi: Gee, thanks.. I think.

[TinuvielChild]

*magically disappears from wherever the hell else she is and reappears at the battle*

*helps keep Tano from being brutally slaughtered*

TCowyn: Generic Tolkien battle cry! Generic Star Wars battle cry! Generic Discworld battle cry!

Tano: why are you wasting breath on useless random things when you could be killing some orc?

TCowyn: I don't know....*slaughters 3 orcs in one blow with her purple lightsaber in her right hand and her M-shaped sword in the other*

[Earniel]

Eärniel: *hits orc in the face* Neh neh neh.

Orc: *holds nose* Ouch! Hey!

Eärniel: *steps on foot of orc* Neh neh neh.

Orc: *start hopping on one foot* Ouch!

Eärniel: *trips orc* Neh neh neh.

Orc: *falls on face* That's no fair fight! Mommy!

Eärniel: Who ever said I was fair? Neh neh neh.

Orc: *whines* This was not in my job subscribtion!


OOC: :rolleyes: I'll never learn... If everyone had had enough orcslaying I think we can perhaps continue with the rest of the story, there is another orc-slaying possibility later. BTW, Nice entrance Mirahzi :D

[Renille]

OOC- Well, it's enough orcslaying to be getting BORING right now. Oh well...I'll start stopping it, I think.

Renille- You guys, I just noticed something.

Earniel- Something as in there's an orc behind you?

Renille- Oh, there is? *makes it go away* thank you. No, why do you refer to multitudes of orcs as "orc?"

Eruviel- WHAT? You're thinking about english grammar NOW?

Renille- A queen has to be well-versed.

Gimrina- You have way too much time on your hands for a battle.

Renille- I'm working! I really am! SEE?*makes Andruil whiz around; cellowship steps back.*

Eruviel- Okay, okay, we get the point.

Renille- Have you noticed that no more orcs are coming over? The huorns suceeded in plan A! Now all we have to do is slip away with the armies to the other side, and they'll never know what hit them!

Earniel- I don't know..is that a good idea?

OOC-Is it?

[Willow Oran]

Meanwhile the short people, (hobbit and faerie) have found something from our world in a remote cornor of the battle field.

Willow:What on earth is a sportscar doing in Middle Earth?

Tano:I think it's supposed to be Shadowfax.

Willow:The keys are in it.

Tano:And the door is unlocked.

Willow:Isn't Shadowfax supposed to be Gandgirl's ride?

Tano:Gandgirl isn't here, and we have to get to Minas Telephone somehow.

Willow:Can you drive this?

Tano:Let's find out.

[Claenoic]

OOC: If no one objects, I'll start going to Denethor now.

Claenoic: Hmm... *starts walking* if my Tolkien Intellect (tm) is correct, I will be coming around to a gate right about... now!

*Comes across the gate*

Claenoic: FWAHAHA!!!! Ph33r my l33t!!!!! *looks around sheepishly* Hehehe... Oops?

Guard: Password?

Claenoic: Umm... sofa?

Guard: Correct. Proceed.

*Gate opens*

Claenoic: *In shock, she goes through* *Pauses* How many more gates?

Guard: *blinks* From here, 5 more.

Claenoic: Why didn't I magically teleport myself closer to the main chamber?

OOC: Sorry about the l33t. I couldn't resist :D. There is still time for someone to catch up with me, so hurry up!

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *gets into Shadowfaxmachine* Sweet....nice car. What color should it be?
Willow: What do you mean, what color should it be?
Tano: I mean, what color should it be? I'm a goddess, so I can make it whatever color I want.
Willow: Red?
Tano: Nah. Too typical.
Willow: Purple?
Tano: Maybe...
Willow: Blue with silver trim?
Tano: Closer...
Willow: Shadowfax white with urple trim?
Tano: SWEET! I love it. Come on! *turns on ignition* Is anyone else coming to Minas Telephone? Earniel...wanna ride?
Willow: Not if you're driving...
Tano: Oh, be quiet. I can drive. Come on!

-tano

[Earniel]

SSA: *walks over to Tano in car* ID and driver's licence please.

Tanoliel: *blinks* what?

SSA: You look to young to drive.

Willow: I can drive.

SSA: You're obviously too small, your feet won't even reach the pedals.

*The rest of the TLA is done with trashing orcs and come over to investigate*

Tanoliel: Aragren, Eruviel! do something! This orc in disguise won't let me drive!

Renille: No really? Same thing happened to me. *glares at SSA* It almost got me killed.

SSA: *shrugs*The law is the law, miss.

Eärniel: I'll drive. I'm old enough. *carefully avoids the mention of not having a licence*

SSA: And how old would that be?

Eärniel: 2983, I was born long before your greatgreatgreatgreat-grandfather wasn't even thought of.

SSA: I still need to see a licence.

Garina: I'm tired of this. See this fire extinguisher? It's going to conect with your head in a few seconds if it's still in my way. *hands drifts omniously over fire extinguisher*

SSA: *backing off a little* You threaten me with violence?

Garina: No I was threatening with words, if you want violence, it's okay with me.

SSA: I could have you arrested for that!

Eruviel: *aims bow at SSA* Nobody arrests Gimrina!

TCowyn: *to SSA* I think you better leave... *hand drifting omniously over M-shaped sword*

SSA: Yes, I think so too.... *runs away in a hurry*

[Willow Oran]

Willow:Alright! Now that he's gone whoever is coming to Minas Telephone with us and wants a ride hop in!

[Tanoliel]

Tano: There's room for everyone. I'll make it a magical car. But I still get to drive! *glares around at everyone*
Eruviel: Yeah, yeah, whatever. I don't have my license anyway.
Tano: Neither do I, do you think that's stopping me? *grins and hops into the car. Everyone who wants in jumps in after her, and Tano steps on the accelerator
--after checking mirrors and blindspots and setting the seat to the proper angle and putting on her seatbelt and locking all the doors and taking off the parking brake and putting the car in the right gear--
and with a sound suspiciously like a horse, Shadowfaxmachine roars off toward Minas Telephone!*
-tano
p.s. sorry...driver's ed is getting to me...*shudder*

[Garina]

Gimrina: *watches them speed off in the distance* Aragren, let us go to Meduseld. We need to pick up an army.

Earniel: And some supplies!!!:D

Gimrina: Of course. The chocolate rations are running dangerously low.

So the remaining members of the Cellowship set off, accompanied by Moraumer and TCowyn.

[Renille]

OOC- I forgot, what's Meduseld???? Rohan?? Gondor??? I'm so confused...sorry. I'll play like I know, though.

Renille- Aren't we supposed to meet my big brother somewhere soon?

TCowyn- You have a big brother????

Renille- No.We're cousins actually. Remember, he's supposed to bring my horse. And he's liscened, so I can ride!

Moraumer- Oh no...is this GOOD?

Renille- Yes it is! I get to go see dead hypocrites! oooh..wait. I'm not supposed to know that yet.

Gimrina- Just wait until we get to Meduseld already!

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: yes, the Dunedain are coming! With Elledan and Elrohir! Yay! :D

Moreomer: There are riders behind us! *he turns* Halt! Halt! Who rides in Rohan?
*The pursuers ride up to the company. One dismounts and approaches*
Mysterious Rider: Rohan? That is glad to hear! We have sought this land for far too long.
Moreomer: Well, you have found it. Who are you? What do you seek in this land?
Mysterious Rider: I am Halbarad Dunadan, a Ranger of the North. We seek Aragren Daughter of Arathorn!
Aragren: See? I told you my cousin was coming! Hal! It's great to see you!
Halbarad: There are thirty here with me, and the twins, Elledan and Elrohir.
Elledan: *looking at his reflection in the shields of the Riders* I am one damn sexy elf!

[Tanoliel]

ooc: Elrohir is sexier...*sighs* we don't stop, do we? :D

Tano: Yippeee! *Shadow races across the plains*
Everyone in car: *groans*
Willow: Could we...possibly...slow down a little?
Tano: *glances at speedometer* Four hundred? Nice! *sees Willow's face* Oh, all right...*slows to a mere one-fifty*

EG, I see you have changed your sig. Graduation, eh? FRESHIE! ;)
-tano

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: No, Elledan is!!! No, I don't believe we'll ever stop. :D
Yep, new sig, and yes, inspired by a speech at graduation. And DON'T call me a freshie, you silly sophomore. Still a sophomore :p :D

EG: *whispers to Garina* So, who do you think is sexier, Elledan or Elrohir? :D

[TinuvielChild]

TCowyn says that Elrohir is sexier, but she's already committed and therefore her vote doesn't count.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: No, Elledan is! Come on, "Man of the Stars," even his name is sexy! :D

[TinuvielChild]

ooc: Will ask the Tolkien addicts at school who have not discovered Entmoot. Until then, let's get back on topic perhaps?

[Earniel]

Eärniel: *looks from Elladan to Elrohir and back* riiiight.... *hits EG* stop staring like a mad cow!

EG: Hey! *returns to staring at Elladan*

Renille: Will you to stop it? We have a war to fight.

EG: *still staring and murmers* Make love not war....

Garina: O-kay *to Eärniel* give me a hand will you? *together they lift Eruviel on her horse*

Renille* sitting on the horse she borrowed from her cousin, looking happy* Is every body except Eruviel ready?

EG: *dreamily* Mmmm?

Eärniel: Yes. Let's go!

Renille: Hey! That's my line! I'm in charge here. Okay every body, let's go!

*they ride to Meduseld to pick up the army that already assembled there... oh and the supplies.*

[Garina]

ooc: Actually, EG, I'd have to say Elrohir.:D

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: No, it's Elledan, Elledan! :D

EG: *snaps out of it* What? Where did my mind go? Elbereth help me. . .*rides after others*
Gimrina: You alright?
EG: I'm fine. That stupid, vain git....

[Garina]

They reach the Paths of the Dead.

Gimrina: *whispers* I really don't want to go in there.

Eruviel: Why not? There's nothing scary down there.

Gimrina: Oh, it's all right for you, you're an elf! You don't get scared of ghosts. Not that I'm scared...

Eruviel: *looking sceptical* Of course not! :rolleyes:

Aragren: Come on, forward. This is my destiny!

Earniel: Psst! Gimrina! There might be chocolate on the other side!

Eruviel: Or miruvor!

Gimrina: What are we waiting for?! *charges into ominous looking tunnel*

Wow! I actually did something to continue the plot!:eek:

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: yay! plot! But could we maybe have flashback or something? We skipped Medesuld, and Eowyn. . .that would be interesting :D

[Garina]

ooc: I thought TCowyn and Moraumer were coming with us. Whoops! :rolleyes:

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: Oh, I didn't really know what was happening....so, flashback to Medesuld, or continue on with TCowyn and Moreomer?

[Garina]

You and I seem to be the only members of the Cellowship online who are in this location.


*grins evil grin*

Should we wait for the others?

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: aw, I dunno. . .why wait? :D *evil grin*

[Garina]

ooc: Go on then, advance the plot. I dare you!:p:D

[Renille]

Renille-Okay, we're here! TCowyn, Moraumer, this is where we leave you. We need beds, food, and an army...please.

TCowyn- No! I'm not your maid...I always have to stay home while the men go to war. Please, let me go with you!

Renille- *looks extremely freaked out* Um...I'm not a man...realize this. Thank you. You can't come because you have no business on the paths of the dead.

TCowyn- Neither do the rest with you. They come because they love you.(under her breath-*but they love Elrohir more, I bet.*)

Renille- NO! no they don't, really they don't. They hate me, don't you guys? Don't you hate me?! TCowyn, THEY hate me! YOU hate me!

Halbarad- *grins wickedly* Not really.

Renille- *Hal, I hate you* TCowyn, I'm leaving. You're not. You're a girl, I'm a girl. Please, snap out of your character! Remember...Faramir is waiting for a girl! I'm NOT!

TCowyn- Okay, okay, I'm kidding... I wanted to scare you. NO, I do NOT like you! (under breath again)I like Elrohir. *goes off giggling*

Renille-*faints*Thank you.

Earniel- What...Aragren, are you okay?

EG, Garina, and the rest laugh uncontrollably

Renille- *waking* I need a counselor right about now. Let's go. Dead people can't be as potentially as frighting as that was!

OOC- I wasn't trying to be mean, TC. I just wanted that to be interesting. It was.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: Yay! Interestingness! :D

EG: *whispers to Earniel and Garina* well, that was interesting *she's still grinning, almost madly*
Elledan: *thinking to himself* I am the prettiest elf around.
EG: *hears him* No, I am, you twit!
*Earniel and Garina quickly intercede...*
Earniel: Come on, we're going to the Paths of the Dead now!
EG: oh, right.

[Garina]

*Hides behind Earniel, as is dumbstruck by identical twin gorgeous elves.*

Gimrina: Chocolate?

[Earniel]

OOC: Okay I take it the flash back is over? just one more thing: Garina, Eruviel... SPAMMERS!!! :p ;)

Eärniel: *looks thoughtful at tunnel and sees Gimrina charging in* Tsssss, who needs to go through there when I've got chocolate rigth here? *munches on chocolate bar*

Renille: Will you just for once; just once follow the plot?

Eärniel: *rolls eyes* Is it my fault that I shouldn't be here?

Renille: Is that a rethorical question?

Eärniel: Shut up or I'll go be back to collect TCowyn.

Elladan: I hope the moist and darkness won't damage my fragile complexion!

*all the riders look at him*

Eärniel: *blinks* Riiiiiiight.... The tunnel it is! *takes off after Gimrina*

[Tanoliel]

ooc: mmm...Elrohir...;) See, Elrohir is better because he isn't so vain. Neh?

The car screeches to a halt in front of the gates of Minas Telephone. Tano jumps out and Willow follows (ooc: is there anyone else with us?).
Tano: Crikey. Minas Telly. *sighs* Oh well, I guess we'd better go meet Denethor soon...do I really have to swear allegiance to Gondor?
Willow: YES.
Tano: Fine...
*they make their way through the gates, and spot Claenoic. (ooc: ignore the rest of the post if i'm wrong, but she's here, isn't she?) *
Tano: Claenoic! HEY! CLAENOIC!

-tnao

[Nazgûl Queen]

TCowyn: *grumbles* Its not fair! I always have to stay home... and they cant even use the excuse that I'm a girl. You're a girl too!

Moraumer: Well, unlike you I have a riders license, and can actually use my sword and bow.

TCowyn: I can too!

Moraumer: Then how come I always beat you within 5 seconds?

TCowyn: You're older!!!

Moraumer: Exactly! You're too young to fight with us. Now be a good girl and watch the hall while we're gone... and this time I am going to kill the Nazgul :p

TCowyn: *mutters*

[Willow Oran]

OOC:You people drool as much as you like over the Twins. I'll take Glorfindel, poor forgotten elf lord, he needs a fangirl besides he's been to the undying lands and the twins haven't.

Claenoic:Finally!! There you two are! Isn't Earniel supposed to be here in Gandgirls place? And wasn't Willow supposed to go t Meduseld and join the Riders?

Willow: Oops... Oh well, I'll just have to sneak up on the Nazgul some other way. Besides, the car ride was more fun.

Claenoic: Car ride?

Tano:We found Shadowfax. That thing goes fast.

Willow:Too fast, especially when there aren't any real roads to drive on.

Tano:Ah come on, admit it driving off those little cliffs was fun. We got to fly.

Claenoic:Are we going to stand around here or are we going to Dnethor?

Willow:We're going to see Denethor, and Tano is going to swear alligance to him whether she wants to or not.

Tano:I don't really, the man's a pyromaniacal madman!

Willow:Too bad.;)

[Claenoic]

OOC: Then can I? Please? (and I get Haldir!)

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

*Saurokatt decides to take up farming and dissapear from the plot line untill the end of the 6th book*

[Renille]

Renille- Okay, you're SURE nothing's following us?

Elledan- NO, NO, IT'S MESSING UP MY HAIR!

Renille- What? What's the matter?

Elledan- The horrible little dead ghost thing over there.

Earniel- Oh, good, they're following us!

Gimrina- Hahaha...yikes...I...how is that good?

EG- Ren needs to tell them off soon.

Earniel- If she doesn't FAINT again.

Renille- *blushing* That was out of sheer relief, remember? What would YOU have done so differently?

Earniel- Not fallen off the horse.

*They arrive at the edge of the cave*

Renille- Ghosts of the...umm...old lords!

EG- No, no,no, you're supposed to call them OATHBREAKERS!

Renille- Okay...OATHBREAKERS! You have broken your oath. Will you now repay it?

OOC- So will they?
:p

[Earniel]

* a ghost steps forward*

Ghost: Who calls on us to fulfill the oath?

Renille: I, Aragren, daughter of Arathren! Future Queen for Gondor!

Ghost: *looks confused* Um.. we were expecting a King really...

Renille: *testily* Well you get a Queen now. Stop trying to wiggle from under the oath by pointing out details!

Ghost: But they're no details, that's the proper way to do things...

Renille: *goes red in the face* Well you get a Queen now! Stop living in the second age and start living in the now!

*a silence fall, all look at Aragren*

Gimrina: *whispers to Aragren* You DO now that they are dead, right?

Renille: Can't worry about details now. *to the oathbreaker* The houre has come. I will go now to Pelargir at the Anduin and you will follow me. And when my land is cleared from sollicitorcs, I will declare the oath as fulfilled and you shall find peace and go hither.

Ghost: It shall be done.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: Elledan has good reason to be vain; and Elrohir isn't much better, eh? ;)

EG: Well, that wasn't too bad...
All the humans and half-humans: *shudder* creepy ghosts*

[Elf Girl]

ooc: Willow! Don't you dare take Glorfindel! Glorfindel is MINE! Mwahahahahahahahaha...



Back with Faramir...

Elf Girl: You're supposed to take us to see the window of the West now.

Mirahzi: Oh. Right. Come along then.

Elf Girl: You're supposed to bind our eyes.

Mirahzi: Stop picking at nits! I have nothing to bind you with.

Elf Girl: *pulls long scarves out of her hat* Here.

Mirahzi: Right. Now how many of you are there?

Elf Girl: *looks around. Finrod has disappeared* Uh, 3.

[Renille]

Renille- YAY! It worked! Now we must go to the muster of Rohan! And search EVERY FACE for a Dernhelm...we can't let her loose.

Earniel- Ren,Ren,Ren. There isn't TIME to do that. Just let TCowyn fight and get hurt. Then you can see her again.

Renille- I don't WANT to see her again. And the book says I have to KISS her as I heal her. I do not want to KISS her.

EG- Welll you shoulda thought of that before you volunteered to be Aragren, then!

Gimrina- Stop fighting, children. We'll worry about this when the time comes.

Renille- Okay, okay. Come on, you guys. Let's go get the Rohanites. Or Rohirrim...whatever you want to call them.

OOC- Please, please, please, PLEASE save the Houses of Healing scene for me!!! I have more interesting ideas.:p (They're not bad, I promise.)

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: We'll save it for you, Ren. Or at least I will...:D

EG: Now, we don't exactly have time to panic over TCowyn. Let's go save Gondor--they're under siege now!
Earniel: Yeah, let's get to those ships...
Gimrina: Come on, Ren, let's go...
EG: Elledan! Stop oggling your reflection! Come one! *drags Elledan away, thinking,* I'm still the prettiest

[Mirahzi]

Mirahzi: Well, let's get a move on, eh? *binds all three with long scarves*

Glodo: Good grief, these smell terrible! What've you got in that hat, Gandgirl?

Gandgirl: Shut up and walk!

Glodo: Right then.

Eventually, the motley crew make their way to the Window of the West.

[Willow Oran]

OOC:Noooooooo!!!!!! Just when I thought I had finally found an elf that no one else wanted... Oh well, I suppose I can stand to share him with you Elf Girl. But He's at least half mine!!!!!!!!!!!

(Meanwhile, Gondor is indeed under siege, or it's gonna be, in a few days, really, we mean it. We can see those solicitorcs coming over the horizon now, and we hope they're moving really really slowly because we aren't ready for them yet!)

OOC:Waiting for one of the other hobbits to post...:rolleyes:

[Claenoic]

OOC: Here's the Other Hobbit (Where ARE you Tano???)

*After some time, they finally reach the main door*

Willow: Shall we go in?

Tano: Better now than later.

*Doors open before them*

All 3: :eek:

Claenoic: *Snaps out of it* C'mon you two!

All: *Walk in*

Tano: *Looks around* These are all of the ancestors of Aragren!

Other 2: Ooooh...

*They see an old man with a purplish antenna in his hand who's looking in his lap*

OOC: Run out of inspiration. COME ON TANO!!!!! (And I still get Haldir!)

[Earniel]

* One part of the Cellowship rides on through the path of the dead to the Pelargirhaven.*

Eruviel: Aragren...

Renille: Yes?

Eruviel: My butt is sore....

Renille: Your butt can't be sore, you're an elf. You know, graceful being, capable of a lot of things, having great stamina and such?

Elladan: All this horseriding makes my clothes crease!

*All look at Elladan*

Renille: *sighs* I'll take that back....

Eärniel: Aragren....

Renille: Yes!

Eärniel: I'm hungry....

Renille: We have no time to eat! We've got to save Gondor!

Eärniel: *eyes wide* Saving Gondor on an empty stomach?!? Oh the horror..... But see, we've read the book, we KNOW we get there on time.... So a little break to eat won't do any harm right?

Renille: Will you shut up if I give in?

Eärniel: Yes.

Renille: Allright people! Let's eat!

Elladan: The ground's dirty! No way I'm going to sit there!

Garina: Then why did you come in the first place?

Elladan: I wouldn't have if father hadn't said: "There's a bunch of loonies going to save Middle-earth, one looney more or less won't matter,.... I mean, my sons, you are both very capable, go and help them. And make sure they don't call me again while I'm taking a bath."

Elrohir: (yes he speaks ladies and gentlemen :D) Yeah, he was kind of upset by that call, dunno why really...

*all look accusingly at Eärniel*

Eärniel: What? I did it for a good cause!

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel: Excellent! Food!
Earniel: Finally...
Garina: So...what are we going to eat?
Aragren: Good question. Maybe you should have thought about that before making us stop.
Eruviel: We have lembas, and I think I've got some chocolate left over...*purposely forgetting to mention her large supply of miruvor*
*They sit down and eat, except for both twins, who remain on their horses as the eat. Eruviel sneaks off with Earniel and Garina and they share the miruvor*
Elledan: Really, I hope this ends soon, all this riding is horrible for my complexion. But I have naught to worry about, really, seeing as I'm still the prettiest.
*he is shoved into the muddy river by Eruviel*
EG: Not anymore!
*all stare at EG*
EG: What, he was getting on my nerves!

[Finrod Felagund]

When the Gondorians showed up Finrod booted it and found himself at a swimming pool. A pool full of...

Finrod- Rubber Duckses! Finrod loves rubber Duckses! He goes in pool to play with duckses! :D

All this time he didn't realize the rangers were watching him.

[Renille]

Renille- Elledan, are you okay??

Elledan- *crying* I can't believe it...you MORONS! You complete MORONS! How could you?? You...spoiled...

Eruviel- *starts laughing*

Renille- You've been drinking miruver again, haven't you, Eruviel?

Eruviel- How would I have it NOW??

Earniel-*cough* endless supply of bottles!*cough*

Elrohir- Ladies, pardon me, but we have a country to save.

Gimrina- Then get your brother calmed down a little!

Elrohir- Hey Star-boy! Get over a little mud already!

Elledan- YOU don't like mud EITHER!

Elrohir- No, but I don't PROVOKE people to pushing me in it either! So HA!

Renille- Don't let me interrupt, boys, but we have a country to save.

Earniel- But...but you promised...eat!

Renille- We ATE! We've got to go, or else we'll be late.

Eruviel- But in the book...

Renille- In the book, we didn't stop to eat. Can we save Gondor yet, please?! PACK UP NOW!

Gimrina- Okay, we can go, I GUESS.

Renille- Finally! Get on a ship everyone. Cast off! TO GONDOR!!

Earniel- Yippity doo da...where's that miruvor, Eruviel?

Elledan-*overhears* You have some? Where?

[Tanoliel]

ooc: I'm here...*wince* save the berating for later, neh? I've gotta post now...:rolleyes: Heehee..:D


Tano: *sees Denethor* Criminey....I have to swear allegiance to HIM?
Willow: *sighs* YES.
Tano: But he looks like a depressive pyromanaic!
Claenoic: Tano, he IS a depressive pyro. You still have to swear.
Tano: Fine, then. *steps forward* My Lord Denethor!
Denethor: (ooc: I have this sudden urge to call him "Denny") What are you all doing here?
Tano: We...ah...*gulps* Well, Gandgirl was supposed to bring us, only she's gone to Mordor because the story's all messed up, and really I'm supposed to bring news of your son's death and tehn swear allegiance to you...neh?
Denethor: Son's death? Faramir is dead?
Tano: *to the other hobbits* Oh, crikey. I KNEW not having a Boromir would cause problems...*to Denethor* No, I know not of Faramir. I speak of your elder son, Boromir, who was part of the Fellowship, which set out from Rivendell some time ago...
Denthor: Oh, that's right. The transistor radio...
All three hobbits: The what?
Denethor: *holds up the antenna and other scraps that were in his lap* This is what is left of my son, Boromir...


ooc: okay, parental units are yelling at me to eat....Willow, Claenoic, I have an idea...don't post any until I'm done, okay? I'll come back right after dinner, I promise!
-tano

10:36pm...how about I just continue the post, neh? :D

Denethor: This is what is left of my son, Boromir...he was a victim of a cruel, cruel magic by the Dark Lord. He was turned into a radio. When he said that he wished to travel, I felt that it was right to let him go.
Tano: You are a kind father.
Denethor: Thank you. Now why were you here again?
Tano: To tell you Boromir's story, and to swear allegiance to you.
Denethor: Ah, good. Storytime.
Tano: Well...*glances at the other hobbits* there really isn't that much to tell. I mean, we were fighting the orcs, and a voice said "My brother...no, wait...My brother..." and some other things that really didn't make sense...and then we*gestures at hobbits*were swept away by the orcs.
Denethor: Ah. Well...Boromir...Boromir...what a bitter end!
Tano: You may not think that there is much service in a hobbit, my lord, but what little service there is I give to you.
Denethor: Swear on my sword.

ooc: and now the parental units are yelling again. You other hobbitsh people can post if you want...that was the extent my idea needed to go. Good night!
-tano

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

EG: Oh, I don't have any Miruvor. I don't know what Earniel was going on about--ow! *is kicked by Garina, and suddenly feels sorry for the vain half-elf* Alright, here, you can have some of my miruvor.
Elledan: Oh--thank you.

[Earniel]

OOC: exam stress is finally getting to me....

*bickering about the miruvor, they ride on, the ghost army trailing them*

Eärniel: What do you mean you *mimics Eruviel* 'don't know what Eärniel was going on about'? You know very well, I stole that miruvor from Elrond himself. I only gave it to you for safe keeping during the quest.

Eruviel: You nearly drank all of it, safe keeping is keeping it away from YOU. And I do not talk that way!

Renille: Guys....

Eärniel: You're just trying to keep all the miruvor to yourself isn't it? An you do talk like that!

Renille: oh, guys....

Eruviel: Keeping it to myself? I just shared some with Elladan!

Eärniel: Only because you had no other choice! Drunk elf!

Renille: Guys.

Eruviel: Who's drunk now? You're confusing me with somebody else!

Eärniel: No I'm not! Don't try to wiggle out of our discussion!

Renille: Guys!

Eruviel: Wiggling? Just who is...

Renille: GUYS!!!!!

*Eärniel and Eruviel together* What?

Renille: We're about to reach the harbour and I'm fed up with your bickering. How are we going to save my land when you two are discussing who should have the miruvor.

*Eärniel and Eruviel look embarrassed* Sorry...

Renille: That's better.

Eruviel:*to Eärniel* So, wants some miruvor?

Eärniel: Don't mind if I do!

Renille: *sighs* What a queen has to do to save her country.....

[Garina]

Gimrina: *rolls her eyes at the two elves*

Elrohir: Are you a dwarf?

Gimrina: WHAT?

Elrohir: Well, there was supposed to be a dwarf in the company, and you're the shortest...

Gimrina: *slaps him round the face* 5'5" is not short!!!!!!!!

ooc: sorry, that was just random - I'm on an end of exams high!

[Elf Girl]

At the window of the west...

Mirahzi unbinds their eyes, and they stare at a display of squirt guns.

Elf Girl: Huh?

Mirahzi: At least you came at the right time. Watch? *all squirt guns go off simultaneosely*

Laurelyn: What happened to a waterfall? And the sunset?

Glodo: Weapons! Save me! *covers face*

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: Those poor sons of Elrond...*evil grin* :D

Eruviel: Sorry, Earniel, I just didn't want to share it with him
Earniel: But-*drinks more Miruvor* fine.
Elledan: *desperate attempt to be polite* Thank you for your generous offer of miruvor, milady--*is interrupted as he is punched by Eruviel* Ow!
Eruviel: lady? Excuse me? I'm Legolas. :p
Elledan: er...
Eruviel: And don't try being polite--your fakeness sickens me.
Elledan: rides the other way, sniffling.
Aragren: Eruviel! Cut it out! Leave the poor elf alone! We're trying to save my country here!
Eruviel: Sorry. *sniff*

[Renille]

OOC- Guys, we should probably slow down a little. Faramir has to be almost dying at the end of the imminent battle, and currently, he's still at the Window of the West. (Hurry UP Elf Girl and co. :D ) So to be nice, I'm taking a non-plot detour.(Who woulda thought I, Aragren, would do such a thing!:p )

Renille- You guys...I think you've had enough miruvor for now. Let me have it.

Eruviel- NO! You just want it all for yourself. You can't have it.

Earniel- Yeah...keep it away! You can't catch it!

Renille- You two really ARE drunk, aren't you.

Both- NO!

Renille- Okay...but then how come you couldn't remember that I'm NOT EVEN 16 YET? I can't RIDE, let alone drink.

Gimrina- And you're the dwarf!

Renille- Wha...dwarf!? Me? no.

Elrohir- You must be! You're so short!

Renille- 5'1" and 3/4 of an inch isn't all that short.

Elrohir- Yes, it is.

Renille- I don't have a...where are we?
*All of a sudden, the ship had turned around without the bickering cellowship's notice...they were now approaching a very tropical landform. Hula music played in the background.*

Eruviel- Maybe I really AM drunk...this isn't on the map of Middle Earth, is it?

Elladan- Well you know...not all lands are charted.

Renille- Turn the ship around! There could be cannibals on board!

Elrohir- You're a DWARF ! We don't have to listen to you anymore.

Renille- I'm not a dwarf...tell them, please, Earniel!

Earniel- You are rather short, you know.

Renille- But...but...Gondor...I'm...

Eruviel- Really short. You lied. You're a dwarf.Let's land here!

Renille- But...

OOC- Once again...my height complicates things.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Eruviel pulls something out of her pack. It's a very battered copy of The Book.
Eruviel: *looking up a chapter* We aren't actually late, Ren. See, the battle hasn't even started yet!
Ren: But how did you know?
Eruviel: The book. See, I noticed a while back that it was...changing a bit. So...I looked up "Window on the West," and see, it said they were still there and Pelennor Fields hasn't happened yet. I would have told you about the book earlier, but...
Ren: Well, good, we know. So...I guess we'll stay at this island for a bit. Hey, does the book have the end, by any chance?
Eruviel: Uh...the pages are blank past the parts we're in now.
*drinks some more miruvor*

[Finrod Felagund]

[Deleted]
[I'll post later but the Gondorian's need to come and get me and then let me have a rant]

[Mirahzi]

Faramirahzi: Ok, people! Take off your blinds!

Glodo: Ugh.. finally, I think my nasal passages are scarred for life!

Gandgirl: Ahh be quiet!

Faramirahzi: Ok.. anyway, welcome to my super-secret hiding place! Also known as the Window of the West.

Glodo: You'd think it'd be bigger..

Faramirahzi: That's just the lobby.

Gondorian Scouts arrive.

Scout: There's a scrawny orc swimmin' in our pool.. he's playing' with our rubber duckies!

Faramirahzi: Bring him here, then eh? We can't have anyone messing with our duckies.

[Finrod Felagund]

*Finrod sees everyone watching him*

Finrod - OH! SO HOBBITSES AND WIZARDSES AND GONDORIANSES SPY ON FINROLLUM'S BATH! NOW YOU TAKES ME BLINDFOLDED? NO WAY TO TREAT ELF! rollum, rollum! AND THEY THINKS WE IS AN ORC! NASTY PEOPLES!!!!!

[Claenoic]

Claenoic: Now, if you two don't mind, I'll be heading off to Theoden now *mutters* I'm scoring BIG on my frequent flyer miles.

Tano: Eh? What's that?

Claenoic: Nothing. *snaps fingers* *Disappears*

Willow: How does she do that?

Tano: The world may never know *Takes out a tootsie roll pop and sticks it in her mouth*

Later, at where ever Theoden is...

Claenoic: *Lands on head* Ow! Gentler landings... think about that next time.

Theoden: ?

Claenoic: Never mind... I've come to swear my allegiance to you inexplicably!

Theoden: Big word... ouchie.

Claenoic: *Sigh* Now can I swear allegiance to you?

Theoden: Yes, yes. Swear on my sword.

OOC: Sorry about the Tootsie roll pop thing! Personal joke. Tootsie Roll Pop thing is copyrighted to Hikaness, all rights are reserved.

[Willow Oran]

Willow:Are you going to swear to Denethor now?

Tano: Oh right. (Turns back to where our favorite pyromaniac is waiting) I swear by your sword and by my role as the Goddess of Ice and Flashlight batteries to serve Gondor as long as I may live.

Denny: Your oath is accepted I'll have people show you and your companion to your rooms. You, Random Soldier!

Random Soldier:Yes my lord?

Denny:Show the two short people around.

Random Soldier: Yes sir.

(He goes and Willow and Tano follow him)

OOC:Can I do the Battle of Pelennor fields scene? Please, I have a really good idea for it and it's really funny. Please Please Please Please Pleeeeeeeeaaaase?

[Renille]

OOC-It's okay with me, Willow, as long as I have my houses of healing scene!! :)

Renille- I think I'm changing my mind...this island looks dangerous. And Eruviel, put the miruvor AWAY.Please.

Eruviel- But WHY, Ren???

Renille- Because I don't like drunk elves as part of my crew.

Earniel- Elves don't get drunk.

Renille- I could prove you wrong! Look, in the Hobbit, it talks about drunken ELVES! Look, see! It tells how Bilbo's guards were sampling wine and getting drunk.

Earniel- Heehee...I guess you're right. But really, why do you not want to land here?

Renille- Because. There might be cannibals or worse yet, more miruvor!

Gimrina- More...where???

Renille- I shouldn't have said that.

Earniel- I really REALLY need to go ashore...

Renille- Fine with me. See if I care if you get eaten...bye now.

Eruviel- *leaving* You think she's mad at us?

Earniel- Na. She's mad at miruvor. Plus she's stressed. Queenship is a big deal, you know.

OOC- NO,to clarify, I'm NOT mad at any of you at all.
:p

[Nazgûl Queen]

Moraumer: *watching Claenoic inexplicably fall out of the sky* Well thats a new way to travel... must try it sometime...

Theoden: What is this strange creature on me?

Moraumer: Relax, its just a hobbit. It needs to swear allegiance to you or something, so it can fight for you.

Theoden: But I dont want a child fighting for me!

TCowyn: Just shut up and let it swear, alright!

Theoden: *grumbles*

Claenoic: Thankyou, fair lady. So King Theoden Sir, will you accept my allegiance?

Theoden: Well I don't have a choice, do I?

Claenoic: Excellent!

Moraumer: *sighs* And now our progress is even further delayed... I wonder how Gondor is holding up cause we wont be there for a while.

[Earniel]

Eärniel: *watches Renille leaving and turns to Garina and Eruviel* Tell you what, let's put away the miruvor...

Eruviel: WHAT?!?!

Eärniel: Let me finish. Let's put the miruvor away.. for now. Aragren is not happy about it and you should always keep a future queen as friend not matter what her height or age is.

Garina: *catching on fast* And we'd be doing it for Aragren, right? So it'd be just coincedence that we'll have more miruvor later....

Earniel: Exactly, it would come in handy on the throne warming party Aragren will be giving when she's queen.

Eruviel: I didn't know she was going to throw in a party.

Eärniel: *evil grin* Neither does she.

Eruviel: Right... So we'll stop drinking too much miruvor, but we could still drink a little right? Strickly for medical purposes?

Eärniel: *rolls eyes* Duh, do pigs fly? Off course we can drink some until then, as long as Aragren isn't looking.

Garina: *frowns* But pigs don't fly....

Eruviel: Never mind, so will we be checking out the island?

Eärniel: mmm, don't feel like island hopping that much anymore... *looks at own arm* Do you think I'm edible? Anyway, can I borrow your LOTR copy?

Eruviel: Well yes... but it has changed now and isn't finished yet.

Eärniel: Never mind that, thank you.

*Eärniel retreats to het cabin with the book, a while later they here laughter coming from it and something that sounds like "Denny!! Whahahah! Rubber duckies!!! Hihihih! Bwahahah!!"*

OOC: Willow, Renille you doing those scenes is fine with me, *feel nitpicking attack coming up, just blame it on those exams*but don't go claiming all the scenes at once, okay?

[Renille]

OOC- Yes, ma'am, Earniel, ma'am. :p Sorry. Really...I won't claim any more scenes, I promise. And I won't be too put-out if someone else accidently does the scene, either. All settled? Yes? Okay. On to the...next part.

Renille- Can I see the book again, Eruviel?

EG-Sure, why?

Renille- I need to see it...I need to know when to come in.

Earniel- Not yet, they're still on the window.

Renille- STILL? But we can't stay on the ship forever, we don't have enough supplies!

Gimrina- We have lots of miruvor!

Renille- That's not enough. You guys...I'm doing something desperate.

Earniel- Um...might I remind you what happened LAST time you tried something desperate??

EG-OH YEAH, you got rammed by huorns...I remember that!

Renille- This is worse. I'm calling the cell phone of power.

Gimrina- WHAT? Why?

Earniel- Aragren's not supposed to commit suicide, is she?

Renille- I have to hurry them up a bit. We'll never get it destroyed at this rate!

EG- Okay, but...do you know the number?

Renille- Ummm....no. But is it in the book?

OOC- I dunno, is it?

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Time to move the plot along. Let's just assume that the scenes at the window happened and they've left. You guys can do a flash back of some sort later if you want but it's time to move.

(Tano and Willow have spent a somewhat boring week in Minas Telephone, they are currently watching the road from the walls above the main gate.)

Willow:Hey what's that?

Tano: What's what?

Willow:That black smudge on the horizon, it's coming closer!

(Suddenly a rider comes up to the gate, he looks panicked and his hose looks as if it's been ridden hard.)

Rider: Faramirazhi and his men are retreating from Osgiliath! They're pursued closely by the Phone Wraiths! Send this message to Denethor that he may send out men to cover they're retreat!

Tano:You fly and tell the captain of the guard. I'll run and tell Denny.

Willow:Right. Finally, it was about time we got things started.

(They fly and run off.)

[Claenoic]

Mouramer: Well, now seems to be a fine and dandy time to go the Pelennor Fields!

All: ...

TCowyn: *Whisper* Did someone give her miruvor?

Claenoic: Well... she was being all grim. I thought it would cheer her up!

Theoden: We'd better get a move on however. Right about now, Gondor should've started the seige.

TCowyn: Can't I come?

Mouramer: (Now slightly back to normal) No! Besides, you're supposed to come anyway inexplicably. As Dernhelm. REMEMBER!?!?!

TCowyn: Oh yea. But you're a girl too.

Mouramer: Well, that doesn't matter.

OOC: Had to get the Mourlingas moving. Forgive me?

[Elf Girl]

OOC: Sorry! I was detained for two days, and I seem to be the only poster over hear.

Counselor: *hears ringing phone* Excuse me a moment... *reaches for it*

Elf Girl&Laurelyn: NOOO!

Counselor: Yes? Oh, I see. We'll try. *puts away phone* Do either of yo know anyone called "Aragren"? *to Mirahzi* I'm afraid we'll have to cut our visit short... Our friends want us to get a move on....

Elf Girl: Friends?

Laurelyn: Friends?

Both: *slap hands* She's one of US!

Counselor: *under her breath* loonies...

Laurelyn: Or not...

[Mirahzi]

OOC: Gonna do my Flee-from-Osgiliath scene.

Legions of orcs and Southrons, led by the Nazgul, are chasing Faramir's men from Osgiliath.

Random Soldiers: Ahh! Crap, we're gonna die..

Faramir: Ok, people.. I realize we're being chased by a billion bad guys with big weapons.. not to mention the flying undead psychos with unnaturally high voices.. but please, please, please try to keep it together!

More Random Soldiers: Ahh! Crap, we're gonna die and our captain's an idiot!

Faramir: Hey, that's just uncalled for.. but maybe we should run a bit faster.

During this interesting dialogue, the Gondorians are dropping like flies.. until the cavalry from Minas Tirith arrives.

Fleeing Soldiers: Yay! Horsies!

Vicious, rather one-sided battle ensues.

Faramir fighting with Southron: Hah! Take that! And that!

One of the Nazgul fires a poisoned spitball..

Faramir: Owie! That really hurt you winged - (faints)

[Renille]

OOC- Okay. I'd better get our plot moving, too.

Renille- They said they were coming as quickly as they could. Glodo answered. I don't think she knew me. Okay,what now?

Earniel- WELL, for starters, we should get a bit closer to our destiny.

Eruviel- That is...if we know the way.

Gimrina-Oh well. We'll find it eventually.

Renille- Okay. What now? OOH...the book! Eruviel, don't bother. I forgot, I have a copy too...let's see if it does the same thing. *Opens to find a normal, complete LOTR.* It's full! This must be the GUIDE book. Your's is OUR story. Can I see it??

Eruviel- Sure...again?

Renille- Are there maps in the front by any chance?Maybe we could figure out where we are.

OOC- I'll let someone else figure it out...:p

[Earniel]

Eärniel: We'd better move on, the deads captain on the other ships are getting impatient. They say they're following us to fight a war, not make a cruise. They also added that a true king would...

Renille: YES! Yes! I get it!

Eärniel: Fne, no need to get excited, I'm just relaying a message. Don't shoot the messenger.

Renille: Don't give me ideas!

Eärniel: You can't shoot me, Aragren! You NEED me!

Renille: No, I don't! You didn't manage to play Sam's role well, Gandgirl took your place, you didn't even managed to play Gandgirl's role since Tanoliel and Willow went to Minas Telephone without you and your cooking is awefull!

*The other TLA-members look shocked at Renille, Garina hides behind Eruviel anticipating an outburst from Eärniel. (Since they're at sea and there are no crickets there) they hear the gulls crying above their heads.*

Eärniel: *icely* Very well, have it your way. *walks away*

Eruviel: *sighs releaved*

Garina: *comes out of hiding* We survived, she took it rather well. Don't ever do that again, Aragren!

Renille: Hey, I'm under a lot of stress here and now...

*she is cut off as the boat rocks violently,every body, except for the elves, loses their footing and falls on deck. The ship changes course and starts speeding. The other ships follow immediatly. The little Cellowship looks up and sees Eärniel standing at the wheel.*

Renille: What the hell was that good for?!

Eruviel: Sshhhhhht! Don't anger her! There's no telling what she'll do!

*they walk over to Eärniel*

Garina: *trying to stay as calm as possible* Say, Samniel... Um, what are you doing?

Eärniel: We want to get to Gondor right?

Garina: Yes, but we don't know where it lies...

Eärniel: *rolls eyes* Amateurs.... *points at convenient compass next to the steering wheel*

Renille: *blinks* That wasn't there before now, was it?

Eruviel: The world's are still merging, and faster now. There is no telling what we'll find in Gondor if we don't move quickly.

[Willow Oran]

(Tano and Willow are still in Minas Telephone, which is under siege, Faramirazhi has just completed the retreat and is really badly hurt)

Denny: This city is gonna go up in flames! I have seen it, We're all gonna die, let's panic!

Tano:I told you he was a depressed pyromaniac.

Willow:I never said he wasn't. Shouldn't we take Faramirazhi to the hospital place thingy here.

Tano:Not yet, we have to let him almost die first, and then he won't get healed until Aragren gets here.

Willow:Right, the others should be here in about... (checks book) two days.

Tano:We have to keep this city under control for two days by ourselves?!?

Willow:Well technically Gandgirl is supposed to do that but, as she isn't here... That leaves us as the sanest people here.

(A look of horror appears on Tano's face)

Tano: You mean, every everyone else in this city has subcumed to the Riders in White?

Willow: I fear it is so.

Tano:In that case we must split up, You go to the gates and keep the Riders in White out of the City. I'll stay here and make sure Denny doesn't do anything drastic.

Willow:Right.

[Renille]

OOC- Earniel, you're making me look evil..:D Okay, then. Evil Ren it is! (heheheh)


Renille- Okay...I assume you know what you're doing, Earniel. It would be a first, but miracles can happen.

Earniel- *Coldly*Don't start. Don't even start.

Renille-What is your PROBLEM? You're not even supposed to be here!

Earniel- What's MY problem??? What's YOUR problem? I try to help, and all you EVER do to me is beat me down and berate me! You're not fit to be queen at all!

Renille- *breath* fine. * starts going off* Who cares about Minas Telephone anyway? I'm sure EARNIEL could rule it much better. So I think I'll go. *slams cabin door.*

Eruviel- That was a little harsh.

Gimrina- Which one? They were both...

Earniel- Shut up. We're getting to Gondor with or without HER help. What has SHE ever done anyway? Look, we're here.

Crowd- LOOK! IT'S THE PIRATES! THE CORSAIRS ARE HERE! RUNN!

Captain- Let's attack them, too!*Runs*

Eruviel- Where's Ren? She's supposed to be standing there with a crown and her Elessar!

Earniel- *knocks* Time for your appearance, "milady"

Renille- Shut up and go away. I'm not coming. Let them get you.

OOC- I'm not really this horrible in real life, I promise. :)

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

EG: That's it. THis is getting ridiculous! *bangs on cabin door* Ren, we need you, and NOW! If you don't come out and act like a queen this minute, I'm going to do it for you, and then they'll have an elf ruling Gondor! I'll just take your place as queen if you don't come now!
Ren: Alright, I'll come! *storms out of cabin, ready.*
EG: *to Earniel and Garina...that got her out quickly...

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Denny! Denethor! Denethor! Where is he? He can't be going pyro on me yet, I've still got a day, haven't I? *checks book* Well, supposedly, but this book is going all funky...squirt guns? Faramirahzi, what are you doing? *looks up* Nevermind. I'll read up on the rest later...
*runs up the front steps to the palace and goes in. Denny is sitting on the throne, holding the broken transistor radio.*
Denny: Boradiomir...that's what we should call you. Boradiomir. Why did you have to fall victim to that evil curse? Why can't you be here now, to help us?
Tano: Denethor?
Denny: Oh. It's you.
Tano: :rolleyes: Yes, it's me...what other hobbit is running around in--oh, wait, Willow's here. Well, she's out there. *Waves hand out toward the gates of the city* But nevermind. I'm here to cheer you up.
Denny: Can you juggle?
Tano: No.
Denny: Can you walk on your hands?
Tano: No...
Denny: Do you have trained oliphaunts?
Tano: er...no...
Denny: I want a circus, and I won't be cheered up by anything else!
Tano: o.O *mutters* okay...a completely loony depressive pyromaniac...joy...Well, I don't have a circus. Sorry. Can I sit on your lap?
Denny: Uh...if you want. *moves Boradiomir*
Tano: Yay! *jumps onto the Steward's lap* Will you tell me a story?
Denny: Um...
Tano: Please?
Denny: Okay, okay...Once upon a time...

Ten minutes later, Tano is half asleep and Denethor is still talking...and talking...and talking....


-tano

[Earniel]

OOC: Evil Renille? I was going for Renille-it's- bloody- stressfull - to- be- a- queen- so- don't- bug- me- overmuch. :D But evil Renille is good enough.

Eärniel:*mockingly* That was quick. Did you miss me?

Eruviel: Don't you start again!

Renille: No, I just don't want an elf on my seat, I still hope they will get you.

*Eärniel and Aragren glare at each other*

Garina: Okay, I had it with the two of you. I was hoping a queen and a sea elf would know to behave. Now if you two don't start behaving any time soon I will personally make sure that YOU *points at Renille* will never have a licence to drive a horse and YOU *points at Eärniel* will never eat chocolate again!

*Eärniel and Renille in unison* :eek: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Eruviel: Garina's right. Now behave.

Eärniel: *meek voice* I'll be good.

Renille: *little voice* So will I.

Eruviel: That's better, now shake hands.

Eärniel: What!? Fne, the things I do for chocolate...

*Eärniel and Renille look at each other, embarrased they shake hands*

Garina: Good, now that's settled, can we please get on with the fight?

[Renille]

OOC- Stressed-out Ren works, too...:p

Renille- Look what I can do! *proceeds to stand in the helm of the ship with her crown and her Elessar on...blah blah...*

Crowd- It's the...the...who is that?

SSA- AH-HAH! It's that runaway teenager again!!! I'm waiting for you! Where are those handcuffs??

Earniel-Hehe...it isn't working, IS it miss "I-can-stand-on- the- wall-and-make-everything-better?"

Renille- SHUT UP AND START THINKING!

Garina- Ahem.

Renille- Oh...yeah...sorry. *to crowd* It is I! Aragren, daughter of Arathren! Heir of Isildur!

Crowd- It's the king! A king has come! But it's a girl king! THE GIRL KING HAS COME!

Eruviel- Queen would work just fine...but...

Renille- *Landing the ship* Come on, you guys! Let's get my city back! *Battle commences*

[Elf Girl]

Glodo & co., having walked far away.

Finrod: the nice hobbitses will- *glances at Elf Girl* The nice hobbitses and wizardses will enter this mysterious dark forbidding tunnel now.

Laurelyn: *enters mysterious dark forbidding tunnel* Must you phrase it that way?

Counselor: No! Absolutely not. I have been diagnosed claustrophobic by the great Swiss monarch, and- *recieves stares*

Laurelyn: Maybe she is one of us...

Later...

Elf Girl: *tentatively* You know... insects?

Laurelyn: Wha- Oh. *catches drift* Yes. You mean, like arachnids?

Finrod: Arachnids aren't insectses.

Elf Girl: *whacks Finrod over the head*

Finrod: Ouch! Nice wizardses doesn't really wants to be mean to poor Smearod, does they? *looks increasingly suspicious* Does they?

Elf Girl: Anyway, on the supject of arachnids, er, just for, uh, general conversation, how do people feel about them?...

Counselor: Ack! I hate spiders!

Elf Girl: *glances nervously at Laurelyn* Um, just for the sake of argument, how would you feel if you, uh, knew that onewasgoingtopoisonyou?

Counselor: Er, what was that? *meaning hits her* Arghhulp... *strangled coking noise* nooo... *High-pitched, deafening scream* What's that?

A giant, white spider looms above them. Finrod has disappeared.

[Willow Oran]

(Willow flies down into the city heading for the gate, as she reaches it she sees the Lord of the Riders in White before it. He is in a white armored truck, the type designed for taking people away in. And he is about to enter the city.)

RiW:Mwahahahahahahaaa!!!!!!!!!! I will take you all away in my truck of doom! and you will be forced to wear straight jackets and eat... processed food with no sugar content that all tastes like overcooked spinach!

Willow:No! We will never let you pass!

RiW: Want to bet on that?

Willow:No, but I'm not letting you by me. (Thinking) The rohirrim had better hurry up so that TCowyn, Claenoic and I can finish off this sucker.

(Fortunately for Willow, who was about to be pulverized by the RiW, the Rohirrim had indeed been hurrying and the RiW was distracted by their horn blowing and Battle crying. With a scream of rage He rode out to meet their charge and Willow flew after him wondering how on earth she was going to help kill him without a weapon.)

[Nazgûl Queen]

*A man collapses at Moraumers feet, carrying a bright blue arrow*

Moraumer: Erm... isn't it supposed to be, well, red?

Man: Shut up and go to Gondor!

Moraumer: *rolls eyes* Well, we were just about to leave, but if you're going to be so RUDE about it, maybe we'll just stay here!

TCowyn: *whispers to another member of the Eored* I think she's going mad

Moraumer: HEY! I heard that, TC... erm, I mean Dernhelm!

Man: Are you coming to Gondor or not?

Moraumer: Alright already, we're going!

*They ride*

Moraumer: Okay, where's that Wildman person?

Civilised Man: I believe you are referring to myself, Buri Ghan of the Wildmen. We do not enjoy being referred to as wildmen, merely because we are more in touch with nature than you "civilised" people.

Moraumer: *speechless* But... you're supposed to be all wild and stuff!

BG: You appear to have been misinformed on that account. However, I will be glad to lead you and your army to Pelennor Fields in order that you may assisst your allies.

Moraumer: *muttering* Nothing's going right today... *To Buri Ghan* That would be most appreciated, sir.

BG: Then follow me. Right this way, Sirs... and Ma'am...

*The Moraued follow Buri Ghan to the Pelennor Fields*

Theoden: CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Moraued charges down to battle the Orcs*

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *wakes up in an empty Great Hall* Wha-? Wait, what's happening? Oh, the stories...Eru, that was boring. Denny? Where's Denny? *suddenly remembers the Book* Oh, Holy Mother of Unicorns! He's gonna go all pyromaniac on me! *dashes out of the great hall* Wait..no...Faramirahzi has to get a mortal wound first, neh? Still, I should find Denny...*rushes around palace until she spots him, then follows him around like an inept spy while he wanders aimlessly*

ooc: Faramirahzi...you gonna almost die in the arms of your beloved? Ooops...wrong thread! :D
-tano

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

"Well, well. Wat ave we ere?"

*The Giant White Spider loomed over Elf Girl, Laurelyn, and Glodo*

"Short with large 'arry feet. Nice. Calloused too, like shoes."

*Elf Girl jumps out weilding her wingless plastic balrog toy that goes, "sqeak".*

Elf Girl~ Back Back!
wingless plastic balrog toy~ Squeek

*The spider (Shekatt) takes the toy while Elf Girl hides with her head under her arms*

wingless plastic balrog toy~ Squeek Aaaah!

Shekatt~ Plastic. Totally unedible. Oy Smerod! I gotta friend for... Now wherdid he go? *Throws wingless plastic balrog toy aside* Whats this? *Throws back the bottom of Elf Girls robes* Oh, wizard feet. Look, (pointing) Dragon Hyde boots. Tiny feet two. Ah well.

*By this time Laurelyn and Glodo are also hiding with their heads under their arms. Shekatt pickes them up by their coats.*

Shekatt~ It costs a shilling each to ride.

Laurelyn~ R-r-rr-ride?

Shekatt~ Yeah, now don't tell me you forgot a shilling?

Glodo~ To go where?

Shekatt~ To go through of course! How did you expect to get through, walk? *Drops them rather painfully* Or I could just (pause) leave you here...

Laurelyn and Glodo~ No! no no! *Scramble around and find two shillings*

*Shekatt holds out a tin for them and everyone climbs into the tour cart that just zoomed out of the tunnle on railroad tracks*

Shekatt~ And you wizard! (she yelled as they started into the cave) Arn't you supposed to be somewhere else?

*Elf Girl could no longer see them for they were too deep in the cavern*

[Willow Oran]

The RiW heads directly for the center of the rohirric charge, and comes to to a crash on top of Theoden.

RIW:HaHa!! Sucker! I shall vanquish all!!!!

TCowyn: How dare you kill my uncle! I'll get you for that you evil sane person!

RiW: You? a mere boy? I'll have you know that it is prophicized tha no man shall ever kill me?

TCowyn: No man am I! A women stands before you, for I am TCowyn, shieldmaiden of the North and you stand between me and my kin!

RiW: I will take you back to Mordor with me and there the Dark Lord will look into your mind and his gaze will shrivel it up and you will become a piece of discarded chicken, burnt to crisp and left out in the cold on a greasy barbacue!

(Meanwhile Claenoic and Willow have met up again and are observing this exchange)

Claenoic, I could have sworn that his threatening quote didn't involve chickens...

Willow:I guess it does now. Look they're fighting!

(TCowyn and the RiW have indeed begun to fight, She has punctured the tires on the RiW's truck and he has come out to do single combat with her, unfortunenatly he has the height advantage and TCowyn seems to be losing.)

Claenoic: He's gonna slaughter her! We've got to do something!

Willow: Right, You sneak up behind him and get his leg.

Claenoic: What'll you do? You haven't got a weapon!

Willow: I'll get a rock.

Claenoic: A big one?

Willow: Yeah, and I'll drop it on his head.

(She looks around and picks up a rather large rock and flies up with it till she is above the RiW. As she is doing this Claenoic sneas up bhind the RiW and stabs him in the knee. As soon as she has done this Willow drops the rock and it hits the RiW on the shoulder, throwing him of balance and giving TCowyn the chance she needed. She stabs him in the stomach and he falls to his knees.)

RiW: TCowyn, before I die, there is something I must tell you...

TCowyn:Huh?

RiW: TCowyn... I am your nephew. (He dies)

(And so the Rider in White was vanquished, but the shock of his dying words was so great that TCowyn, and Claenoic, because she had been close enough to hear, did the only thing they could in reaction to it. They fell over backwards in a dead faint. Willow had been in the air and had not heard all of what the RiW had said and was not affected so obviously. Seeing that the battle was almost over she flew off to find a medic, or two, or someone else from the cllowship that might actually know what to do with a couple of unconcious people.)

[Renille]

OOC-Willow....you are a genius. A scary genius, but a genius all the same! Great scene! :p I'm impatient...I'm starting my scene RIGHT NOW!

Renille- I gotta go!

Earniel- But...but...the battle!

Renille- Was just won. I must claim my queenship and stuff. Bye! Meet you later in the Houses of Healing!

Eruviel-Queens these days...

*Runs off to the Houses where she finds TCowyn, Faramirahzi, and Maernoic who had "miraculously" been transported there.*

Renille- It is time for me to do my duty. I must claim my throne!

Ioreth, RN- Who are you? A doctor? Where's your commendation papers?

Renille- I'm the queen. I have to see the three people who were hurt by the Nazgul. I'm here to cure them.

Ioreth, RN- You're a QUEEN??? Oh, well that's a horse of a different color! *Other RN's start singing "The Merry Old Land of Gondor" while admitting Ren to see the others*

Renille- Okay. They're all badly hurt. But I can cure them...do you have Glade (TM) air fresheners...Springtime Athelas scent?

Ioreth, RN- No...we use antibacterial fresheners, actually.

Renille- Then I need SOMEONE to search all the supermarkets in town! I need those air fresheners! NOW!

OOC- If someone else wants, they can finish this! I'm fresh out of ideas. Woops. :rolleyes: It's been a long night...Wizard of Oz rehearsal! WHOOPEE!

[Willow Oran]

(Meanwhile Willow is still in the air and is flying to the Houses of Healing, or trying to, her flight is shaky and drunken looking, though she certainly isn't drunk. And she finally just lands and collaspses several blocks away from the Houses of Healing.)

OOC:Somebody go and find Willow. She's suffering from delayed shock reaction thingy.

[Earniel]

*Eärniel became bored of whacking orcs who didn't even try to put up a decent fight after the Hospital King also know as the Rider in White had been defeated. Grumbling she went to the Healing Houses*

Eärniel: *muttering* No fair, the rider in white gets defeated by a hobbit with a location attitude, a rohirrim princess that doesn't even have a horse riding licence and a faery for crying out loud. And I don't have any decent orc to slay, fne... so I'll just go bug Aragren in the Houses of ... *still muttering she trips over Willow and falls* Umpf, why don't people clean up their mess... Hey that's Willow! *Picks up the little faery* Willow?

Willow: Ung..

Eärniel: Are you drunk? At this time of the day?

Willow: Not drunk... just dizzy....

Eärniel: Yeah right, You'll have to admit that drinking problem of yours some day, you know.

Willow: Everything is so dark.... and my arm feels cold...

Eärniel: Mmm, strange drunkness that. Well I'll carry you, it's not that far.

Willow: Are you going to burry me?

Eärniel: I said ' I'll carry you'. You morbid little faery.....

Willow: Oh....

*Eärniel carries Willow to the Houses of Healing*

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

EG looked at the city from the walls.
EG: This place needs more trees. Really.
Garina: That gate could use some fixing! Really, it's been smashed to bits by that stupid truck! They could have used something stronger to build with.
EG: This place reeeeeeally needs more trees.

[Nazgûl Queen]

*Before she is taken to the houses of healing, Moraumer looks on the face of TCowyn and is shocked*

Moraumer: DEATH TAKE US ALL!!!!! FORWARD MORAUED!!!!

*They charge*

~Five seconds later~

Moraumer: *stops and thinks* Oh, wait, i knew it was her... and she's going to live... and why do i care if she does or not? She's just my stupid little sister... STOP, MORAUED!!!!!!!!

*However, they are too far away to hear her and by the time she manages to restore some order, all the orcs have either been killed or fled*

Moraumer: Oh what a shame... oh, well, works for me!

*Victorious, she leads the Eored into Minas Tirith, where she meets Gimlina and Eruvielas.*

Moraumer: What are you two fighting about?

Gimlina: This city needs to be fixed up!

EG: No, it needs more trees!

Gimlina: Stones!

EG: Trees!

Gimlina: Stones!

EG: Tr-

Moraumer: SHUT UP! It needs both... but let other people do it. You two are coming to Rohan with me... caus I'm a Queen and i can command people! YAY!

EG & Gimlina: NO!

Moraumer: *Cries*

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

EG: *attempting to be tactful* Lady, we are supposed to stay here, I believe. So. . .we'll stay here, thank you. Congratulations on your king, er queenship, and I am sorry about your uncle.

[Tanoliel]

occ: wait...has Faramirahzi been wounded yet? Cause I need to save him...only I can't if he hasn't been saved...

Tano: *runs through the halls after Denny, who is striding off to the Houses of Death.* Bother...stupid pyro...Denny!
Denny: Fire...fire...I can chose my own time of death...
Tano: Grrrr...

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *finally catches up with Denny inside the Houses of Death* Denethor! Denny! What are you doing?!
Denny: *piles more wood up around Faramirahzi* I'm going to die.
Tano: Well, yes, I can sort of see that. I mean, what are you doing to Faramirahzi?
Denny: He is going to die with me. He shall go with his father.
Tano: Dear Eru, you morbid steward. Look. *marches over to Faramirahzi and checks his pulse* HE'S NOT DEAD YET! (ooc: Monty Python refrence alert!)
Denny: *blinks* So?
Tano: Grrrr...Just don't kill him yet, okay? *thinks quickly* Oh, curses...Gandgirl isn't here, how am I supposed to stop him? Wait...if Gandgirl is here instead of Samniel...then I'll go get Samniel! *runs out of Houses of Death, leaving Denethor to pile wood, whistling merrily* SAMNIEL! SAMNIEL!!!
Earniel: What do you want?
Tano: *pants* Denny--about to die--Gandgirl away instead of you--figured you should help!
Earniel: Oh, all right then. Lead the way. *Tano leads the way back to the Houses of Death, where Denny is playing with a lighter*
Earniel and Tano: DROP THE LIGHTER!
Denny: *drops it in suprise* Wha-?
Earniel: I'm supposed to be here--or not, but the point is I have to stop you from killing your son.
Denny: Well, you're not! *grabs the lighter and sets fire to the pyre*
Tano: Grrr...well, he's supposed to die, I guess. Still, it's agravating...
Samniel: Come on, let's get Faramirahzi to the Houses of Healing.
Tano: Right. *together they manage to hoist Faramirahzi up and carry him to the Houses of Healing, where they dump him on a bed*
*Tano goes to visit Willow, still growling about "stupid pyro stewards"*

ooc: whew...that was long. Sorry about "using" you, Earniel, but I needed somebody, and since Gandgirl had taken your place...well. :D
-tano

[Elf Girl]

Back in the mysterious dark forbidding tunnel

GandGirl: Wait! Waaaaait! Come baaaaaaack! *waves hand and a shilling, glowing neon green, levitates in front of her* Aargh. I don't like this place. *begins to run after them with all her wizardly speed* Hmf. *shilling lights her way*

[Earniel]

OOC: Why thank you Tano, I frankly feel quite honoured! :D

Eärniel: Allright, Willow and Faramirahzi are safe now. Now we only need you to work your magic, Aragren.

Aragren: I know, but you can't seriously suspect me to show off with my healing powers if I don't get the right material to work with!

Eärniel: What do you mean? No athelas?

Aragren: No, out of air fresheners. Really, you'd think in a hospital like this.....

Eärniel: I'll have a look, see if this city of yours has a decent department store. *Eärniel leaves the Houses of Healing in search for a department store. Soon she spots one* Yeay! *runs inside* Do you still have some Glade (TM) air fresheners... Springtime Athelas scent?

Shop assistant: No, I'm afraid we're out of those...

Eärniel: Dang!

Shop assistant: But we have some good Athelas incense. They're in promotion now.

Eärniel: That'll have to do. I'll take four, please.

Shop assistant: That is four gondorian crowns please.

Eärniel: What? Four crowns? Do you have four kings or what? I know somebody called Aragren who won't be pleased hearing that...

Shop assistant: No, no, a crown is a coin.

Eärniel: What, we did all this work just so Aragren can wear a coin? What kind of country is this?

Shop assistant:*desperate* Do you have any kind of money?

Eärniel: Oh it's money now that you want? Just send the bill to the Queen, she'll pay it. *picks up incense and leaves the bewildered shop assistant behind. She returns t the houses of healing* Sorry Aragren, they're out of air fresheners but I've got some incense instead

[Renille]

Renille- Okay...that's better than nothing. Want to help?

Earniel- Sure...nothing else to do, really.

Renille- Thanks...come on. Let's do TCowyn first so I can get it over with. *shudders* I hope she doesn't want me to kiss her, because I REFUSE!

Earniel- Try not to worry...come on.

Renille-Burn the inscense, Samniel! Lady of Rohan! Awake!

TCowyn- I do as my lord commands...I'm up!

Renille- Good- *shakes her hand* Congratulations on your recovery. Don't be fighting more Nazgul anytime soon. By the way, FARAMIR is in the next room. You want to meet him.

Earniel-You're not supposed to know that!

Renille- Shush! It's Faramir's turn!(The inscence burns) Faramirahzi! Get up! the queen is calling!

Faramirahzi- I don't wanna get up, daddy...I don't wanna go to school!

Renille- Work with me here. You've got to arise! Smell health! Go away from the darkness!

Faramirahzi- AH! Who are you? Aragorn? But, you're a girl! Wha...

Renille- My name is AragREN. I'll explain later.Don't worry. You're okay now...thanks for your help in the battle. (Shakes HIS hand as well!) NOW I have to go to Willow...yay.

Earniel- You're almost done.

Renille- *Burns last of the inscense.* Come on, Willow! Wake up! Please? It's me, Ren! You've gotta get up.

Willow- Hi, Ren! Can I have something to eat? Chocolate, preferably?

Renille- YAY! Get her all the chocolate she can eat! Make them all rest; keep them all down for a few days here. I have to go make sure the battle's going well. Bye!

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Yay! Willow's awake! *jumps onto Willow's bed* Hi. I've been really worried! Well, actually, I haven't, because the Book says that Merry wakes up, but I figured that I should say that anyway because it's a nice thing to say when your friend just got banged by the evil rider in white, and oh by the way there's some chocolate left over in your pack, even though you're supposed to want pipeweed, but i perfectly understand if you don't, cause it does taste kinda bad, and---
Willow: (to Earniel) What is she on?
Earniel: I dunno. She just saved Faramirahzi...maybe she's high on heroism.
Tano: High on what? I'm just hyper! *reaches into Willow's pack and breaks the leftover chocolate into three pieces and hands them out* Here you all are! Rest! Revive! Eat chocolate!

(shouldn't have a problem with that...:D)
-tano

[Willow Oran]

Willow:Yum chocolate! But I suppose this means it's time to go off to mordor to make a big distraction so that the others can get through to Mount Doom.

(She looks tired and her wings droop)

Earniel:You are staying here until you're fully recovered.

Willow:But-

Tano: It's okay, you'll have TC, and Faramirazhi, and Claenoic for company, they were hurt too.

Earniel:I didn't know Claenoic got hurt as well... We didn't wake her up! (run after Ren) Aragren! Wait! We're not finished healing people yet!!!!

(Eruviel and Gimrina enter the room)

Gimrina:The battles over, we won.

Eruviel:Those orcs got slaughtered!

Willow:Good, that's happy.

Eruviel:This place really needs more trees though.

Gimrina:It could use some new gates too.

Tano:How did you guys get here?

Willow:Yeah, tell us about the paths of the dead and tell us what happened after you got through them.

[Mirahzi]

Faramirahzi sits up in his bed, glances around the room and notices his new roommates.

Faramirahzi looking at TCowyn: So, who's the pretty lady? She looks a bit depressed.. and suicidal. Maybe she needs someone to hold and someone to hold her. *Shrugs* Ah well, that's her problem!

Faramirahzi looking at Willow: Hmm.. what am I doing in the Children's Ward?

[Willow Oran]

::The rest of the cellowship has left leaving the four invalids alone
(I'm assuming that Earniel caught up with Ren earlier and they took care of waking up Claenoic) Willow has noticed Faramirazhi giving her puzzeled looks)

Willow:Hi! I don't think I've met you before.

Faramirazhi: I'm Denethor's younger son, Faramirazhi. Um.... No offense, but how did you get in here? You look a little young to be fighting.

Willow: I'm not too young. I'm just short. I'm a faerie.

Faramirazhi: Oh. Who else is in here with us?

Willow: TCowyn is on your other side. ::She points to TC, who at the moment is sleeping:: And this is Claenoic, she's the other hobbit. ::Claenoic and TC start to wake up::

TCowyn:Urgh... Please tell me that battle was a bad dream.

Claenoic: I second that, I knew that Riders in white were scary but that...

TCowyn:It makes me sick just thinking about it.

Faramirazhi: What does?

TCowyn:An embarrising long lost relative.

Willow:Yeah, who would of thought... You wouldn't think Moruamer to be the type to...

Claenoic: Well, she does call herself Nazgul Queen.;)

Faramirazhi: I am so lost in this conversation.

[Claenoic]

Originally posted by Willow Oran
::The rest of the cellowship has left leaving the four invalids alone
(I'm assuming that Earniel caught up with Ren earlier and they took care of waking up Claenoic)

OOC: Thank the Valar! I thought that you all had forgotten about me *cough*youhad*coughcough*

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: It seems that everyone has also forgotton about the most important part in the book. MINE! I am now taking over the roles of Glodo and Laurelyn and finishing this end of the story myself! :mad:

*Shekatt is now giving Glodo and Laurelyn a tour of the Kaverns*

Shekatt~ Down the shaft on your right you will smell piles of decaying orks. And down the shaft on your left you will smell a large decaying dragon which is not quite ripe to make into wine yet. And down the shaft on your right again, there is a courtesy vomiting pit for you.

*Glodo and Laurelyn vomit into the shaft. Shekatt has to hold the tour cart for Glodo to stop vomiting.*

Shekatt~ May I continue? Now, If you look down that passage you will see the Chamber of Chains.

*Glodo and Laurelyn gasp while Shekatt realizes what she just said and recovers.*

Shekatt~ Which you will be able to buy from the gift shop at the other end.

Glodo~ Oy! Can we please stop and rest? I haven't slept in days!

Shekatt~ All right then. But stay in the tour cart. I don't want you falling down some crevass and suing me. I'll be back in six hours exactly. *And she dissapeared into the gloom*

Laurelyn~ Come on. We've got six hours to sleep.

Glodo~ Are you crazy? We have to go on watches so she doesn't eat us while we're asleep!

Laurelyn~ Relax! She's waiting till we get to the other side to eat us. Thats what the book says.

Glodo~ Yeah, well it also says that we are supposed to go on watches. Your first sense I'm the phone bearer.

Laurelyn~ Hey, as long as we're arguing over detailes, we should be discussing if there will be a book about us.

Glodo~ But there already is a book about us.

Laurelyn~ Exactly. So just get some sleep and don't worry about it. Besides, I'm supposed to fall asleep during my watch anyway so Smerod can look old and I can freak out when I wake up and find him breathing down your neck.

Glodo~ *Shudders* Where did that little sneak get to anyway?

Laurelyn~ That's my line!

*The sounds of bickering were heard all the way in the Shire.*

OOC: Can I write for Smerod too?

[Nazgûl Queen]

*Moraumer comes into the sick bay to check on her sister and give her a bunch of flowers, just in time to hear the end of their conversation*

Moraumer: WHAT?! *Drops the flowers on the floor in shock*

Calenoic: Well, you always said you were the Nazgul Queen...

Moraumer: *forgetting her recent injury, starts to strangle Claenoic while muttering* How dare you even think such a thing about the queen of Rohan? Just because our older brother whom TCowyn was too young to remember ran off with some scary woman in white, doesn't mean that I should draw the blame. How is that fair?

*Willow, TCowyn and Faramirahzi leap on to her, restraining her arms and freeing Claenoic who gasps for breath while TCowyn growls at her sister*

TCowyn: Cant you take a joke? What right to you have to hurt an invalid? I'm ashamed to call you sister!

Moraumer: Fine then. Be that way. I didn't miss you anyway. *Crushes the flowers into the floor and leaves, wiping a tear from her eyes*

Willow: Erm... I think she took that rather well, dont you?

TCowyn: *shrugs* She deserved it!

Faramirahzi: *picks up the flowers off the floor and gives them to TCowyn* I think these belong to you.

[Elf Girl]

Left behind in the passage...

Elf Girl: All right. *to the air* You asked for it! *disappears* *reappears next to the Counselor in the tour cart*

Laurelyn: You little snea- Hey! You're not Smearod!

Elf Girl: I wasn't last time I checked. Anyway, I got tired of being left behind, so I brought a little *cough* magic into the whole situation. *grabs glowing shilling from the air* You can give this to Shekatt.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Laurelyn~ *Nervously* What's our time like?

Glodo~ *Glancing at digital watch* 4 hours, 37 minutes.

Elf Girl~ Hey! Where did you get that?

Cousiler~ This? Oh, I've had this since my brother gave it to me one Christmas. He said it was the best, but he forgot to take the price tag off so...

Elf Girl~ *Whispers to Laurelyn* She's relapsing. Stay calm. We'll sit on both sides of her.

Counsiler~ ... anyway, it glows in the dark so it's really usefull in a dark, scary... smelly ... cave..... *Eyes widen in horror :eek: * get...me...the...hell...out...of...here.....

Elf Girl and Laurelyn~ STAY CALM!

*They all gasp as they here the shout echo through out the caverns. With it comes another sound. Like a half cooked pancake falling on the floor. A steady rythemic sound. Elf Girl, Laurelyn, and Glodo huddled together in the cart.*

*flik flak flik flak, the noise got closer. The group huddled closer. Glodo started to scream but Laurelyn and Elf Girl put their hands over her mouth.*

Elf Girl and Laurelyn~ stay calm.*they whispered*

*A pair of glowing eyes stared at them from the dark*

Finrod~ You has already met Her? Goods. Looks! Smerod broughts wizardes squeeky toy back.

*Finrod handed Elf Girl the wingless plastic balrog that goes squeek*

wingless plastic balrog~ squeek

Finrod~ Now does you trust Smerod? Good. *He hopped in the cart with them* Whens the next tour?

[Elf Girl]

Elf Girl: *whispers the situation of the counselor's relapse to Finrod* So you see, if we wait awhile, the worlds will have merged enough for her to get a grip!

Laurelyn: *alarmed* But we have need of haste!

Elf Girl: But the strain will kill her!

Laurelyn: We can't do anything until Shekatt comes back!

Elf Girl: But she'll try and kill you!

Laurelyn: If she tries to kill us, she'll try to kill you!

Elf Girl: In the book, Shelob doesn't attack Gandalf!

Laurelyn: In the book Gandalf is way off in Gondor while the phonebearer is in Shelob's lair.

And as they bicker away the long hours, Finrod slips away and Katt returns.

OOC: Finrod needs to not be here os he can attack us at the exit.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Shekatt~ Excuse me! Whom are you coming in late? FARE?

*Elf Girl dropped a shilling into Shekatts tin*

Shekatt~ Thank you. Now, let’s continue our tour. *She started up the engine* Shaft full of dead decaying orks. Shaft full of dead decaying orks. Shaft full of dead decaying orks. The end. Now, *She stopped the cart* right out there is the end of the tunnel. Outside is the gift shop. *She paused and continued slyly* There, there are free Italian Sodas for you.

Glodo~ Italian Soda! *And she leapt from the safety of the cart before anyone could say no. Shekatt closely pursued her*

*Just then, Finrod leapt from the shadows and drove the cart back the way they came.*

Finrod~ Wesis gonna gets what She throws out. All she wants are the feeteses. Wesis gonna get the Cell Phone!

*Elf Girl then squeaked the Wingless Plastic Balrog in Finrods ear causing him to slam on the brakes and jump out of the cart. Elf Girl and Laurelyn leapt for him but he dodged out of the way. Laurelyn brought out her Spinning Thing which scared Finrod so much that he ran down the tunnel yelping.*

Laurelyn~ Wow *Looks at Spinning Thing* It is good for something.

Glodo~ Scream

*Elf Girl and Laurelyn spin around just in time to see Shekatt pull a hypodermic needle out of Glodos arm.*

Shekatt~ *To Glodo as she faints* Don’t worry, it’s clean.

*Elf Girl and Laurelyn start racing up the corridor towards Shekatt.*


OOC: You finish it Elf Girl

[Earniel]

Meanwhile back in the asylum... Er... I mean off course Gondor:

*The remainder of the Cellowship hold a meeting in Minas Telephone*

Aragren: Friends and associates , I hereby declare the meeting opened. We all know we've gathered here to...

Moraumer: Yes, yes... We all know why we gathered here, no need to repeat it. So can we get to the point? We've got a war to fight.

Aragren: Hey, I'm queen here!

Moraumer: So am I if you care to remember.

Aragren: I bet you made a deal with that rider in white to dispose of your old uncle so you could claim the throne.

Moraumer: *explodes* WHAT!! * lunges at Aragren*

Eruviel: *grabs Moraumer's arm* Hey, hey! We've got a war to fight, indeed, but amongst ourselves! Now sit down the both of you or I will get nasty.

*Aragren and Moraumer stare at Eruviel* All right, all right....

Tanoliel: So what's the big plan?

Eärniel: We'll march to the gates of China and Eruviel will challenge the Dark lord to a drinking contest. If that doesn't buy enough time for Glodo and the others to destroy the phone, I'll challenge him to a chocolate eating contest. *chuckles* No way he wins that one.

Aragren: *looks doubtful* I was hoping for something, well.... more heroic?

Garina: I have a bad feeling about this... Ooops, wrong movie!

Willow: Do we have a dark lord, actually?

[Elf Girl]

Elf Girl and Laurelyn are running at Katt.

Elf Girl: Take that! *waves plastic balrog toy. The spell rebounds against Katt, and knocks Elf Girl silly* Oh, hi wall. *walks into wall* Sorry! *blunders out of the exit and passes out*

Meanwhile, Laurelyn is charging at Katt, who is armed with another syringe.

Laurelyn: What is on that thing?! *glances at the Counselor, lying dead-looking on the floor* Hmm. *avoids the syringe and draws her sword*

But a sleeping wizard is not a good thing to leave lying around.

Elf Girl: mumf...mumphers... *hand flails on top of wingless plastic balrog toy*

Wingless plastic balrog toy: *squeak*

Rocks start to rumble down from the ceiling.

Katt: CAVE-IN! *runs back into the tunnel*

Laurelyn: *grabs the Counselor and runs for the exit*

Elf Girl: *wakes up*


OOC: There. We didn't have to stab you, Katt, but Laurelyn was just as heroic as in the book.

[Willow Oran]

(back in the meeting everyone is staring at Willow)

Willow:Well? Do we have a Dark Lord?

Aragren: Um... No actually, I don't think we ever defined who the Dark Lord was.

Eruviel: Wouldn't it be Sauron?

Tano: I would think so but, it could have changed.

Earniel:Even if we do have a Dark Lord, who'll be him, or her?

Moruamer: No one, Sauron never actually does any talking in the story.

Willow:So, who'll be the Mouth of Sauron?

Garina:Must you remember all these little details? Let's just plan how we'll attack, and deal with th villian later.

Tano:Maybe Katt will do it now she's done with SheKatt. Anyway, I don't like the drinking contest idea, I want to kill the troll like I'm supposed to, I haven't got to do anything like that yet.

Willow:Alright, I think that I'm supposed to stay here...

Aragren:It doesn't say anything about a faerie in the book, just tag along if you like or stay if you prefer.

Eruviel: Are you sure we can't have a drinking contest?

[Elf Girl]

Laurelyn & Elf Girl: *moan* She's DEAD!! *Finrod appears*

Elf Girl: Where on earth WERE you?! You missed your cue!

Finrod: Well sorryses. Poor Smearod doesn't wants to be evil, Oh no precious.

Laurelyn: Well actually that's okay because I'd probably lose control of my anger and kill you right now and the phone would never get destroyed.

Elf Girl: Glodo is dead! I must take the Phone!

Laurelyn: No, I must. In the book, Gandalf doesn't want the Ring.

Elf Girl: In the book, Gandalf is in Gondor! He would have taken it if he could.

Laurelyn: Sam should take the Phone.

Elf Girl: But Samniel is in Gondor, so I have to take it.

Finrod: *hopefully* I'll take the phone.

Elf Girl: *Glances at Finrod and wordlessly takes the phone out of Counselor's pack and hands it to Laurelyn*

Laurelyn: Hey! That's heavy! If you'd dropped it I would have broken my toe!

Elf Girl: Put it away and be quiet! Now, we must bury Glodo. *they put a rock or two on the Counselor* That should do it. *sigh* She was a pain, but I'd grown fond of her.

Laurelyn: What's that noise? *rumbling*

Elf Girl: Orcs! Run!

Laurelyn: *running* Orcs don't rumble.

Elf Girl: *also running* No, but we had to have some way of knowing they were coming. *Finrod has run a different direction*

Orcs: Look! A counselor!

Head Orc: C'mon! Bring her to our secret base!

Laurelyn: *crouching with Elf Girl behind a rock* "secret base"?

Head Orc: Don't forget, the password's "turnip".

Orc: *lugging the Counselor to a large boulder, which rolls aside to let them through* What are we supposed to do with this roadkill?

Head Orc: Roadkill? Roadkill?! She's not dead! *they enter, and the boulder rolls back*

Laurelyn & Elf Girl: NOOOOOOO! *run to boulder* Turnip! *nothing happens, so they through themselves at the boulder*

BONG!!!

Laurelyn: *on the ground* What was that?

Elf Girl: *also on the ground* The end of Book Two...

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Oh Elf Girl! That was wonderfull! :D
I'll be Sauron if you really want me to. I'm getting good at evil charactors. :rolleyes:

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Back in the counsel room. . .

Eruviel: How about this. We go to fight, and I challenge the Mouth of Sauronkatt (ooc: Katt, are you Sauron? thanks. . .) to a drinking contest, and then we'll have our big battle, and yes, Tano, then you can kill your troll.
Aragren: Sounds reasonable. That's what we'll do--
*just then, someone bursts into the tent*
Prince of Dol Amroth: Sorry I'm late! I know I was supposed to come in earlier, but I got a call from--*he gets odd looks* anyway, I've arrived! Where's Aragorn?
Aragren: That's me. I am Aragren, daughter of Arathren.
Prince of Dol Amroth: BUt you're a girl!
Aragren: Not again! *rolls her eyes*

[Nazgûl Queen]

Moraumer: *rolling her eyes at the Prince of Dol Amroth* You dont say. I never would have guessed... and in case you haven't noticed, so am I!

Aragren: Votes for woman! Erm... I mean, it is time for our society to become less old fashioned and give women, the superior sex, the rights they deserve.

Prince: Um.... right... whatever you say, ma'am

Aragren: Its "Your Majesty" to you!

Prince: Of course. *bows*

Moraumer: And do not forget myself, Queen of Rohan.

Prince: Sorry. *bows again and mutters* Stupid women...

Moraumer&Aragren: HEY!

Moraumer: *is shocked* Look! We're agreeing with each other!

Aragren: Something is seriously wrong here...

Moraumer: What do you expect? *shakes Aragrens hand* Now that we are friends and our Queendoms are allied... back to the business of defeating evil and stuff...

((OOC: I dont have much inspiration at the moment))

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Is it just me, or do people become more easily-offended and more stuck-up the more power they get?
Willow: Shhhh!
Moraumer: What did you say?
Tano: Er...just wondering when I was going to get to kill my troll!
Aragren: *eyes Tano suspicously* Bloodthirsty little hobbit....soon, I suppose.
Tano: Ugh! Drinking troll blood? No, thank you! I prefer humans. Or elves. All the same to me...blood is yummy...
EG: *nudges Tano* You're mixing your selves up again.
Tano: Oh...sorry! Thanks, Aragren. I'll just sit in the corner and be a nice, quiet little hobbit until I get to murder a Dark Creature...*grumbles*

ooc: I see what you mean...I'm running a bit dry myself. I should find that red wine and wet my palate...I mean....my inspiration....:rolleyes: :D
-tano

[Claenoic]

OC: Am I at the little meeting? Or am I still at the houses of healing?

[Earniel]

OOC: You can be where you choose Claenoic.

Aragren: So it seems we're settled then. We get the army together, march to China and challenge the Mouth of Sauronkatt to a drinkingcontest after that we'll have a joly good fight.

Eärniel: Don't we have to send an invitation to the eagles?

Eruviel: Sssssh, you're giving away the plot. But shouldn't Caladriett arange that for us anyway?

Tanoliel: You think? She was rather happy to see us leave. I don't think she wants much to do with us anymore.

Moraumer: Well she can see the future, can't she? Then she'll know she can better arange that back-up for us because she can see what happens to her if she doesn't.

*Meanwhile in LothlorieOdonalds: Caladriett is eavesdropping using her birdbath. She hears Moraumer's threat. She swallows hard and leaves urgently in search for her own mobile phone of water.*

Aragren: *highfives Moraumer* That's the spirit!

Willow: *whipsers to Tanoliel* It's scary how quick they agree with each other now.

Moraumer: *nudges Aragren*The army of the two Queens! Catching name heh?

Eruviel: What only of the two queens? What about us, we're going too. I demand some recognition.

Aragren: Allright, we'll call it the army of the Ladies of the West * hears the prince of Dol Amroth moaning* and the one Lord of the West. Now, let's devide tasks: Queen Moraumer, ready your troops. Prince, that goes for you too. Eruviel, you're in charge of the miruvor, wine, cider, all the drinks you need for the contest. Eärniel: you'll take care of the supplies....

Eärniel: Woohooo!

[Claenoic]

OOC: I'll stay in Minas Telephone, someone needs to tell the good stuff about TCowyn to Faramirahzi.:D

Claenoic: *Peeking in with Bergil* You think they're done yet?

Aragren: Eruviel, you're in charge of the miruvor, wine, cider, all the drinks you need for the contest.

Bergil: Does that answer your question?

Claenoic: I stand corrected.

*While this is going on, the whole of the meeting rushes out of the door, leaving Claenoic and Bergil dizzy and slightly confused*

[Elf Girl]

Elf Girl: *gets up* Come on! Let's go rescue her! *they see orcs walking by*

Orc1: I hear there's a dangerous Elven warrior sneaking about.

OOC: Someone continue, please. I am a bit hazy about the tower scene as it is. :rolleyes: ;)

[Renille]

Renille- Okay...maybe this isn't such a good idea...

Moraumer- What are you talking about? Are you second-guessing the books AGAIN?

Renille- I meant putting Eruviel in charge of drinks. :)

Moraumer- Oh.

Renille- Everyone, I'm not going to be involved in the drinking contest. You need at least one designated driver to be legal...and we want to start my new kingdom legally. Besides, I'm under 21.

Earniel- You can't even drive.

Renille- Yes I can. Just not legally...oh. But anyway. A drunken captain is a captain who puts others in danger!

Eruviel- Stop quoting health class and start leading your army! No one said you had to be in the drinking contest! COME ON!

[Willow Oran]

(Willow and Tano follow the other Ladies, and the Lord, of the Wset at a slower pace)

Willow:Where'd the twins go?

Tano:Which twins?

Willow:Elledan and Elrohir, weren't they supposed to be with Aragren,or did they already leave? And who is she going to marry?

Tano:I dunno, maybe we should arrange for someone to marry her.

Willow: How? We don't know who she would be willing to marry from the books.

Tano: We could ask her.

Willow: You sure? Okay then. Hey! Aragren! Who's your favorite male elf in this story?

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Bwa ha ha! Behold! It is Eye! The most evil presence ever! SauronKatt!

(I had to make an "Eye" joke)

[Renille]

Renille- What? Oh, why do you want to know?

Tano- Then you admit there is one?

Renille- Is one what?

Willow- A elf guy you like!

Renille- Wha...oh. No, there isn't.

Tano- WHAT? But there has to be! In the book...

Renille- You really are a fool of a took, aren't you? (:) ) I'll tell you who I'm marrying when I'm good and ready. We have it all planned out.

Willow- Come on, PLEASE? We're your very very best friends in the whole wide world!

Renille- I'm not even 16 yet! I am NOT old enough to get married! LEAVE IT ALONE!

Tano- *to Willow* TOLD you she was majorly stressed.

OOC- No, I don't know who my future husband is yet. Give me until next Wednesday...oh wait, you have to. I won't be here until then! :)

[Tanoliel]

Willow: *grumbles* Yeah....but it was worth a try...
Tano: Practically anything is worth a try. *shrugs* She'll tell us. Or we'll make her. Or something...

-tano

[Earniel]

Eärniel: So you do have a groom at hand, right Aragren?

Renille: Oh please! Don't you start too!

Eärniel: Don't get upset, just asking whether there'll be a weddingcake at the end of this RPG....

Renille: Yes, there will be and it's going to be yours!

Eärniel: *momentarily speechless, she blinks* Come again?

Renille:*sweetly* Yes, you too have to marry at the end of the book, REMEMBER?

Eärniel:*starts sweating* I do?

Tanoliel: Yes, Aragren is right. Sam marries Rose, but since that's going to be little difficult with you being a girl AND a sea elf.... So who are you going to marry then?

Willow: Yes, YOU're old enough to marry now.

Tano: So who is he? Do we know him? Is he cute? You can tell us.

Eärniel: Um..... um.... Sorry, can't talk right now, got to ready the supplies. Yes, the supplies! Very important! *runs away*

OOC: This was my last post before I leave for holiday. Keep up this marvelous RPG! And please keep Samniel in it too. *puppy look* See you next month!:)

[Tanoliel]

Tano: How come no one ever tells me anything? *grumbles*

(have fun, Earniel!)

-tano

[Willow Oran]

Willow:They don't tell me anything either, but if we can't plan for their weddings we can at least plan for Faramirazhi and TCowyn's.

Tano: (starts to grin) Oh yeah...

[Tanoliel]

*Before the group sets out, Tano runs back to the Houses of Healing and bursts into the room. The Healers look very annoyed, but she ignores this*
Tano: Hey, TCowyn, what color do you want your bridesmaid dresses?
TCowyn: Huh?
Tano: Nevermind. We'll figure all that out later. Oh, and by the way....*she leans over and whispers something in TCowyn's ear that makes her blush, then runs over to Faramirahzi's bed and tells him something too, leaving him looking rather uncomfortable. She then skips out of the room, laughing*

ooc: and i'll leave YOU to figure out what i said....:D
-tano

[Mirahzi]

Extremely perturbed by the hobbit's whispered message, Faramirahzi sits dazed in his bed.

Faramirahzi (blushing): So, apparently we have to get married?

TCowyn (also dazed and blushing): I guess so..

Faramirahzi: Oh dear.. those hobbits are going to have a field day...

TCowyn: No kidding.. this is gonna royally suck.

Both: *groan*

Faramirahzi: Maybe we should just elope...

OOC: I hate you. :rolleyes: :p

[Renille]

OOC- I KNOW I said that I would have my "boyfriend" by today. I lied. Play rehearsals, people throwing up, sleeping bags "lighting up" (static electricity) and the like caused me to have little to NO time to ponder this subject over the last three days. Lucky for you guys, though, my parents sprung a little surprise on me...I get to go camping tomorrow! *sarcastic* YIPEE! * end sarcastic* Yeah. It's not that I don't like camping, it's just that I don't like camping when I need sleep! Anyway. I'll be back Saturday. With a "boyfriend". I promise. :)

[Claenoic]

OOC: Remember, I'll still be at the houses of healingand I don't know about Willow, so... Tano and Willow, if wedding plans are to be made, you'd better tell me right away, or else it'll be too late!

Claenoic: Psst! You two over here!

W & T: *Come sauntering over*

Claenoic: TCowyn and Faramirahzi aren't doing to well... I think we should give them a bit of prompting.

*All grin evilly*

[Mirahzi]

TCowyn & Faramirahzi enter.

Faramirahzi: We've decided to elope.. quietly.. far, far away.

TCowyn: Yes, yes we have.. quietly.. far, far away.

Hobbits: Oh no yeh don't! We're planning a wedding, whether you like it or not!

Hobbits' eyes begin to glow and twitch in a most demonic fashion.

Faramirahzi: Ack! Quick, I'll hold 'em off, you make a break for the gates!

[Tanoliel]

Tano: How gallant! How sweet! How selfless! And how stupid. *trips Faramirahzi and ties him up with elven rope* There you go.
Willow: TCowyn, come on, you know you've always wanted a nice wedding...
Claenoic: It's doesn't have to be HUGE....just big.
Tano: Right. And besides, you CAN'T go running off now anyway, because you're not well yet. Neither of you are. So get back in bed, the both of you, or I'll call the healers on you!

-tano

[Willow Oran]

Faramirazhi: You short people are evil you know that?

Willow:Duh! We're diabolically insane! Now, I think the main colors for this wedding should be purple and pink. What do you guys think?

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Absolutely NOT! Willow, come on....it IS a wedding, after all. Something a little calmer. And remember, TCowyn is marrying Faramirahzi, NOT Tidbit the Pink. We could go with purple, though....lighter purple, lavender maybe. Although personally I like blues and greens myself. *turns to Faramirahzi and TCowyn* What colors do you like?

-tano

[Mirahzi]

Tano: Hey, where'd they go?

Both have hidden behind nearby pillars.

Faramirahzi: Psst! Maybe if we be really, really quiet and don't move, she'll think we've disappeared!

Tano: Hey, I can see your tunic behind the pillar.. I know you guys are there.

TCowyn: No we're not! ...Oops.

Tano: Ok.. bye, then.. *stomps feet*

TCowyn: Bye! ...Oops.

Both come out from behind pillars.

Faramirahzi: That was a close one..

Tano: Ah-HAH!

Both: AHHHH!

[Willow Oran]

Willow: You two aren't getting out of this that easy. Now sit!

(The two humans sit reluctantly on the beds.)

Tano:Good, now help us plan this, or I will let Willow decorate everything in pink and purple, or worse, Urple.

Claenoic:Don't scare them you two, and no Urple, at all. I think we should use white, and light blue and lavender.

Willow:I would agree to that. Would the two victi- er... the bride and groom agree?

[Mirahzi]

Faramirahzi: Well, I most certainly do not. I wouldn't be caught dead in light blue and lavender. The very thought is quite.. exhausting.

Faramirahzi continues to mumble about sissy colors and elves.

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *rolls eyes* I'm not dressing YOU in light blue and lavender, though I think you could look quite smashing in the right ensemble. Those are the decoratory, bridesmaid and other suchlike colors. Neh? Not so bad!

-tano
p.s. YAY! 700th post! :D

[Claenoic]

Willow: BLUE, LAVENDER, AND WHITE ARE NOT SISSY COLORS!!! *Starts turning an unusual shade of red*

Tano: Stop, we shouldn't be fighting. After all, it's their wedding.

TCowyn: *mutters* That your directing.

Claenoic: I heard that! Now onto the cake...

F & TC: Meep....

[Mirahzi]

Faramirahzi: Yes they are Willow and you know it. Admittance is the first step to recovery.

Tano: Ah yes. The cake. I'm thinkin chocolate inside, with chocolate creme, and chocolate icing with little chocolate roses..

TCowyn: Finally, a sensible decision!

[Willow Oran]

Willow:Chocolate is good. But I think for the decorations we should use white chocolate. That way we wouldn't end up with the cake being completely brown. And as Tano said, We wouldn't be dressing you in pastels, Faramirazhi, I think for you it would be best to go with... Dark blue and White.

[Mirahzi]

Tano: White chocolate? Are you mad? Only the finest imported dark chocolate for our lovely bride and groom!

Willow: What are you talking about? You're gonna eat half the cake anyways!

Tano: How dare you insinuate that I, Tanoliel, am a chocaholic!

Claenoic & Willow: But you are!

Faramirahzi and TCowyn use the impending hobbit-fight as a distraction for their escape. Meanwhile, accusations and apples are being thrown violently between the hobbits.

[Renille]

MEANWHILE...Aragren has left her copy of LOTR in the houses and has to go back. She finds...well, you know.

Renille- You guys.

Tano- CHOCOLATE!

Willow- WHITE!

Tano-CHOCOLATE!

Renille- Guys.

Claenoic- PINK CHOCOLATE!

Tano-WHAT?

Renille- YOU GUYS!

Claenoic-- What NOW?

Willow- OOH! Have you come to tell us who you're marrying.

Renille- NO. I came back to look for my copy of LOTR. Have you seen it at all?

Tano- Yeah, it's over there.

Renille- Thanks. Why were you fighting, by the way?

Faramirahzi- They are arranging our wedding.

Renille- Wedding...oh YEAH! You and TCowyn! Congratulations!

TCowyn- Yeah. Really great, isn't it.

Willow- Can we arrange yours, too?

Renille- No. I'm not getting married yet. I'm only 15!

Tano- But...Arwen...

Renille- Is a girl. So am I. I have to go save Elf Girl and Glodo now. Bye! *leaves*

Willow- Some people.

Claenoic- Tomboys. NOW, where were we?

[Nazgûl Queen]

*Moraumer has been watching the argument for some time with amusement, but eventually decides that it is her duty to helkp her sister...*

Moraumer: *whispers to Faramirahzi* I'll distract them... you two go hide in the garden or somewhere far away.

*She comes out into full view of the hobbit*

Tano: Oh, her moraumer... which do you prefer, chocolate or white chocoloate?

Moraumer: They're both absolutely delicious... but I think the cake will need a bit of contrast... so white.

Willow: Do you think Lavender and white are sissy colours?

Moraumer: Not at all, they're beautiful, but i prefer deep blues and purples... and since I'm the Bridesmaid I'm the one who has to wear it!

Tano: What? DARK?

Moraumer: Yes, Dark. I have this really nice idea for the bridesmaid dresses, if you'll just come into my bedroom for a second.

Hobbits: Okay! *Follow Moraumer eagerly*

*While Moraumer keeps the hobbits occupied, Faramirahzi helps TCowyn out the window and they run away into the garden, where they run into Aragren*

[Willow Oran]

Willow: Wait a minute... Tano, you and Claenoic go and see what Moraumer is talking about, I better stay and make sure the Bride and Groom don't run off.

Moraumer: Bugger, oh well, you two come on.

(Willow flies back to find that Faramirazhi and TCowyn have indeed run off and sees them attempting to sneak out through the gardens. Shaking her head she climbs out the window and flies over to cut them off)

Willow: Did you two really think you could get away that easily. You should know better. And just for that trick I think we will have the dresses be light colors.

Aragren: Oh come on, be nice would you like it if they did this sort of thing at your wedding?

TCowyn: Listen to her, please, listen to her!

Willow: Oh all right. We were just trying to help.

Faramirazhi: Helping is fine, just don't try and and be too helpful.

Aragren: Agreed? Good, now, I believe we are waiting for the others to gather the supplies and things necesary so until they get back let us go and plan this wedding in a more civilized manner.

Willow: Oh very well.

[Nazgûl Queen]

*Meanwhile, Moraumer is showing the other two Hobbits her old designs of dresses*

Claenoic: I never knew you were a designer!

Moraumer: I'm not...

Tano: I like this one, the dark green really sets off my eyes...

Claenoic: I think this white one here looks perfect!

Tano: Maybe for TCowyn... but too much pale colours can be a bad thing...

Claenoic: You can never have too much pale colours!

Tano: How about the Bride wears white, the Bridesmaids a pale lavender and the men black.

Claenoic: Not black, dark blue!

Tano: Are you sure? I dont think the blue will go very well with lavender...

Claenoic: But if the Bridesmaids are pale blue...

Tano: And then we can have blue decorations! I always did like the colour blue... like Violets...

Claenoic: Erm, aren't they violet?

Tano: Close enough...

Moraumer: *has been silently watching* What about the boquet?

Tano: I think iris...

Claenoic: With some of those little white flowers...

Tano: Some Niphredil, perhaps?

Moraumer: Would galadriel allow it?

Willow: *flies back in* We are going to plan the wedding in a more sensible manner down in Aragrens quarters...

Moraumer: Excellent. *writes down all their ideas and grabs her designs* Come, ladies, lets go assist my sister.

Hobbits: If we have to...

[Christiana]

can i join?

[Claenoic]

OOC: I think you need to get a character in the discussion board, but I'm not sure if we have any characters left... except for the megaphone of Sauron or something.:D Just go there anyway, we'll figure something out.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Meanwhile, Gimrina and Eruvielegolas are safe from the wedding planning, sitting outside. At least, they think they are safe. . .then Tano and Willow come by. . .
Tano: Hey, EG, Aragren is refusing to get married, but we need a wedding, so would you be willing to marry someone?
EG: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

*Just then a messenger of Sauron arived and stood outside the gate*

All: *Hands drift ominosly to weapons*

Watcher: Whadda want?

Messenger: The dark lord has a message for his enemies. It has already been faxed to you, but I shall read it anyway.
*Unrolls parchment*

The Mouth of Sauron is unavalible for a chalange because it choked on a peanut and is spending a week recouperating.

However, the Eye of Sauron is ready to fight a battle. But it just got contacts so if we could postpone fighting it would be gratefull.

The Ear of Sauron is ever hearing your plans and will not be attending any wedings.

*Sigh of relife from all potential brides and grooms*

And the Nose of Sauron says you stink. Go take a bath!

*Rolls up parchment and rides away*

EG: Well I never! Saying I stink! *Runs to gate* Come back here you! I'll show you who stinks! I'll... I'll... I'll bite your legs off!

[Christiana]

lolol

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

EG: *calms down* Well, it's been a while since I last had a bath. . .hey, Aragren, since we have to wait for the battle, can I go have a shower or something?
Aragren: I think all of us need baths after all that travelling. Perhaps the Ladies of the West should return to Minas Tirith while we await the final battle.
Earniel: Why don't we attack while he's not looking though?

[Renille]

Aragren- Because we have to wait until Glodo throws the ring away. That'll be so much easier. That way, all we have to do is go look for the eagle thingie!

Earniel- Gwaihir, don't you mean?

Aragren- Yes. I do mean that. But nitpicking is EVIL!

Earniel- Nitpicking? ME nitpicking???

EG- You guys. Stop.

Gimrina- no liscense...no chocolate...

Earniel- Yeah...umm...sorry

Aragren- Me too...I guess...let's go take showers! Company DEPART!

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

EG: woohoo! I get a shower!
The Prince of Dol Amroth looks really annoyed. Nobody seems to care. He stalks off and sharpens his sword in his tent. Everyone else departs back to Minas Tirith.

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Arrrgh!!!!!!! Writers block, somebody get the army moving! I can't think of anything to write right now. My brain is fried from rehearsal.

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Wait! Wait....I want a shower, too...*sigh* When does the army get moving?
EG: *calls back* Soon! I think. But it's time to take a shower now.
Tano: *shrugs* Yeah...all right. I'm no army leader, I'll just hang back and slaughter a few orcs, shall I? *wanders off, muttering*

[Rána Eressëa]

Rána Eressëa (formly known as Rogue Elf): (jumps out of nowhere) So, how's everything going? I thought I'd check up on you guys! (gulps down some punch drink in a barrel she's carrying) Whew! That was one long trip.

[Claenoic]

Aragren: *raises eyebrow* Took you long enough to catch up. What happened to the rest of you? Got tired of it?

Rana: Of course not! The rest of us fell behind because we found fizzy fruit punch. *Offers punch* Want some?

Aragren: No time. I need to take a shower, then go wage war upon the great Eye, nose, and ear, then fufill my destiny as... queen.

Rana: *eyes widen* Oooh. Who are you marrying?

Aragren: NOBODY!!! I'M TOO YOUNG!!!

Rana: ... Oh.

[Willow Oran]

OOC: We can't let it die now! Not when we're so close to completion, it's jus tbeen moving really slowly through Minas Tirith so let's just skip to the battle shall we.

(Everybody has bathed and dressed and found their weapons and horses. They have spent the last several days marching from the city to a cliff above the Black Gates which look oddly like the Great Wall of China. They have now set up camp on the cliff and preparing for the drinking contest and then... the battle. Because they have gotten this far we must also assume the Glodo has been rescued and the Cell phone is nearing the cracks of Doom. If people object to assuming this then do a flash back. Anyway, we are now standing before the Gates talking to the Mouth of Saurokatt)

Eruviel: What do you mean you don't drink wine? That's what the drinking contest is about! Drinking as much wine as you can!

MoSK: I refuse to participate in a contest that involves drinking anything elvish.

Aragren: Then what do you like to drink?

MoSK: [Insert favorite really strong alchoholic drink here]

Willow:But we haven't got any of that. Come on please? You don't want to have to do the whole battle thing do you? Blood all over the place getting everything messy and all that shouting deafening you, can't you just agree to a drink that we have on hand so that we can get this over with?

MoSK: No, I like blood and shouting. Besides I have something you people want.

Tano: How could you have anything we want?

MoSK: If we had captured your spy and stripped it of all it's belongings.

Garina:What spy?

MoSK: (Holds up a bundle formed of Glodo's belongings.) The one that bore these. We'll return it to you if you surrendur.

Aragren: Surrendur? To save the life of one counselur you wish us to give you the lives of all the free peoples? You're insane! We reject your terms, but we will take these in memory of our friend.

MoSK: Then you can forget the contest. This is war! To Arms!!!!!

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Oh, bother. At least I get to kill my requiste orcs, anyhow. Geez. And all for Glodo, too....

(ooc: This is a GREAT transition sentence to Glodo, hint, hint. :D)
-tnao

[Elf Girl]

Elf Girl & Laurelyn: *run away to avoid chattering orcs*

Laurelyn: We need to rescue Glodo.

Elf Girl: I know.

Laurelyn: How do we rescue Glodo?

Elf Girl: I don't know.

Laurelyn: We need to find another way in.

Elf Girl: I know.

Laurelyn: But where could one be?

Elf Girl: I don't know.

Laurelyn: Will you stop that?

Elf Girl: I kno- I mean sure. Now lets find a way in. *pounds her fist against the wall in frustration*

Laurelyn: Good idea! *pounds her fist against the wall too*

An orc pushes the boulder aside.

Orc: What is all that racket?

Elf Girl: Meep.

Laurelyn: "Meep"? You're a wizard! Wizards don't say "meep"!

Elf Girl: I mean, uh, YAAAAAAAAAAH! *smites orc with balrog*

Laurelyn: Excellent. *they walk inside*

They are now in a large empty chamber of stone.

Laurelyn: Now what?

Elf Girl: Sing!

Laurelyn: Hunt, hunt, hunt your orc,
Gently wield your swo-

Elf Girl: Something else!

Laurelyn: Mow, mow, mow your lawn,
Gently blow the seeds!

Meanwhile in a little room very far off in the building.

Counselor: What is that awful noise!

Orc: You be quiet!

Counselor: Now who are you order me around! Hmph. *joins Laurelyn*
Painfully, painfully, painfully, painfully,
Life is full of weeds!

Back at the base of the tower.

Elf Girl: I hear her! Now will you stop! *they walk up a flight of steps and are met by orcs*

Laurelyn: *draws sword*

Elf Girl: Don't bother. *smites orcs with balrog*

Orcs: Aaaah. Help.

Elf Girl: Not very enthusiastic, are you? *they walk on through, and climb a winding little staircase*

At the top, they are met by none other than the Counselor (wearing ALL her clothes!)!

Counselor: Where WERE you guys? And what was that horrific singing?

Elf Girl: *heroicly* We are here to save you, Glodo, mellon! *trips on a dead orc and spoils the effect*

And so, everyone cheerfully walks down and out of the tower. (With GandGirl to smite any orcs they might come across)

[Tanoliel]

(ooc: Hurray! :D Merrily, merrily....)

Tano: Hey, there seems to be an inordinate amount of stuff going on there...*points off to Mordor* What's up with that?

Willow: They're getting ready to do battle, of course. Come on. Let's get our weapons ready...*maniac glint comes in Willow's eyes*

Tano: *backs away slowly* Remind me NOT to be around her during the fight scene, ok?

[Renille]

Aragren- But...we don't even have an army with us! We've got to discuss this in a civil, mannerly fashion!

MoSK- Civil...right.

Aragren- You know what? If we're dying ANYWAY, we may as well die for Glodo! Let's storm Mordor!

Earniel- You are insane. VERY insane.

Eruviel- Insane yet very determined...

Aragren- Come ON! HURRY! We've gotta get Glodo!!!!

MoSK- You ARE insane...

[Tanoliel]

Tano: wait...but in The Book, didn't we do something entirely stupid and ended up winning anyhow?
EG: Yeah....that's right!
Tano: So I say go for it, no matter how insane you are! :D
-tano

p.s. Renille, I like your sig's poem...:D

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

EG: Who cares how insane it is. . .to battle!
Aragren: To battle!
Earniel, Garina, Willow, Tano: Aye!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

MoSK: Stop making fun of my eye!

[Willow Oran]

Willow: Ah come on!! Who needs an army? Did not we defeat the orcs in the Battle of What Should Have Been Five Armies But was Reduced By Our Director to The Battle of 13 Good Guys Against Six Goblins a long while ago? We can can certainly pull this one off!

Earniel: Do we want to know what she's talking about?

Tano: No.

Aragren: Enough talk! Chaaaaaaaaaaarge!!!!!!!!!

Everyone Else:CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGE!!!!!!!!!!

MoSK: What are they trying to do? Drown me in exclamation marks?

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

EG has way too much fun shooting and hacking orcs to death.
EG: Aiya Earendil elenion ancalima!!!!!!!!!
Earniel: (to MoSK) Good idea. Chaaaaaaarge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Laurolyn: Well, now we are out of the tower, what's next?

Glodo: If we follow the book, we avoid a band of Orks by jumping into some thorn bushes, get thouroughly scratched, march until we think we are dead, find some really bad water, grin and drink it, march until we wish we were dead, then get to the bottom of Mount Doom.

*Gandgirl and Laurolyn grin at each other*

Glodo: Or we could do it my way. Leave it by the side of the road, hot tail it home, and hope it works out for the best.

*Gandgirl and Laurolyn grone*

Gandgirl: Look, I'm not supposed to be here anyway, so, if worst comes to worst, I think you better eat me.

Glodo: *Looking scandalized* Are you mad?!?

Laurolyn: *Looking even more scandalized* You're GANDALF!

Gandgirl: Not anymore! Eärniel has taken over my part, and what would Gandalf be doing way the heck out here?

Glodo: Ok. But...

Gandgirl: But what?

Glodo: It's just that I rather eat Laurolyn.

Gandgirl: Come to think of it, so would I. *Laurolyn is even more scandalized than before* Cleonic is filling in for Sam...

Laurolyn: *Gasping* Calm down everyone! *Has an idea* I know! Why don't we eat Finrollum?

Gandgirl: *Looking confused* Who'd die for us then? *Getting it* Ah, but he would be dying for us!

Glodo: *Looking really grossed out* No way in Valinor would I eat that thing!

*Gandgirl and Laurolyn grin at each other again*

Gandgirl: All right, scratch that plan. How about this. *Snaps Fingers*

*Suddenly they are standing at the base of Mount Nokiea.*

Laurolyn: How did you do that?

Gandgirl: *Obviously* I wouldn't be that good of a wizard if I didn't know how to teleport now would I?

*They smiled and started up the mountain*

OOC: I'm taking a break. I'll finish it in a minute.

OOCPS: I finally did it. I made a post longer than my signature.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

MoSK: I've had enough of this. Orks, Easterlings, go kill them. Oh, Orkies, don't forget the trolls. Thats right. Coax them along. Come along trollies! Be good trollies and go kill them for mumsie!

*Then Saurokatt sat back to watch her victory*

~~~

*Meanwhile, not a sparrows flight away at Mount Nokeia, Finrollum had finally caught up to Gandgirl, Laurolyn, and Glodo, who he found drinking large exoctic drinks at the base of Mount Nokeia.*

Gandgirl: Ah, Finrollum. Glad you could join us. Would you like a drink? I just whipped them up. :rolleyes: Come on then.

*Finrollum began to drool. All three were tempting him with wonderfully tempting, colored iced bevrages.*

Finrollum: *Lunging at the drinks* Gimmy!

Gandgirl: *Moves drinks out of the way* Ah ah ah. This one is mine. There are more drinks at the top of the mountain.

*All four started cheerfully to climb*

*The top of Mount Nokeia was as the top of Mount Doom was, except, out of the depths, they could hear a faint noise. Only Gandgirl recognized the sound. It was someone scroling through their electric rings on their cell phone. Just then Finrollum realized their trick. Glodo started to feel a bit dizzy*

Finrollum: Liarssss! We hatessssss you! We hatessss you all! *He lunged at Laurelyn who was closest but Laurelyn was refreshed and Finrollum was tired. She soon had him cowering from the Spinning Thing.*

*Glodo thought she would pass out from the heat. Everything was getting blured*

Gandgirl: Let him go Laurelyn. You know the story.

Laurelyn: Aww, all right. And shouldn't we be watching *Crash* GLODO!!!

*Glodo had dropped her glass of exotic drink and was staring at the situation in horror*

Glodo: Where am I? Who the hell are you? That's it, I'm calling the police. *Glodo took out the Cell Phone and opened it*

Finrollum: Preciousss! *Lunge*

Gandgirl and Laurelyn: NO! *Lunge*

*Miles away, Saurokatt tracks the phone signal. She sees everything now*

MoSK: Phonewraiths! Lunge! Go! NOW!

Phonewraiths: *Sniffle* Yes mommie.

MoSK: Shut up!

*At Mount Nokeia, Finrollum had come out of the struggle with the phone and was dancing up and down*

Finrollum: Precious, precious, precious! My Precious! O my Precious!

*Then out of the phone came a horible noise. Everyone dropped to their knees and covered their ears*

Phone: DEE DEE DEE If you would like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up, and then dial your operator.

*Finrollum was so surprized by this that he dropped it down the pit. But the noise didn't die down. Instead it grew louder and louder until it was shaking the whole mountain. The four of them ran down the mountain.*

Gandgirl: I am glad we are all here together at the end.

Glodo: That's my line!

Gandgirl: Oh, Shut up!

[Nazgûl Queen]

*The Queens of the West were still battling the Orcish army...*

Moraumer: *kills countless orcs*

Aragren: *kills countless orcs*

Samniel: *kills countless orcs*

Gimlina: *kills countless...* ALRIGHT!!! WE GET THE PICTURE!!!!

Ooops... sorry...

Samniel: THE HELLICOPTERS ARE COMING!!!!!!!

Moraumer: What?

Samniel: The hellicopters are coming!

Aragren: Aren't they supposed to be eagles?

Samniel: We arent living in the 2nd age anymore, you know. We've been given hellicopters and we should be thankful for that.

Aragren: Oh, alright...

*Suddenly, the Phonewraiths turn and flee the battle, and the hosts of Saurokatt are full of fear. The Army of the West stands strong and pushes back the orcish shosts, and suddenly the air is fulled with a piercing sound*

Tano: MY EARS! MY EARS! *falls underneath a falling troll*

Aragren: The realm of SauroKatt is ended! Lets celebrate!!

Moraumer: Doesn't someone need to go rescue Glodo and the others???

Samniel: Dont look at me, thats gandalf's job!

Moraumer: But Gandgirl is at Mt Nokia!

Samniel: *grumbles* if I have to... but save some Miruvor for me!

*She goes to the nearest hellicopter and instructs the pilot to fly to Mt Nokia and search for a group of people on the slopes*

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *who has passed out from the ringing, now wakes up again* oh, what's that SMELL? Ow...owww, I'm beign crushed...stupid troll! *wriggles her way out from underneath it* Ugh. Troll boogers. *looks around* where IS everyone? Hey! Hey, guys! I'm here! I'm alive! I'm just....kinda squashed...hey...guys?


(yes, "troll boogers" is right out of Harry Potter...*smirk*)
-tano
p.s. kudos to Elf Girl and Katt for those scenes, hey what? *cheers and throws cell-phone-shaped confetti*

[Willow Oran]

(As the Queens of the West and Company celebrate the downfall of the evil cell phone everything goes blurry and starts spinning wildly.

There is a sound like the ruffleing of pages mixed with a high pitched mechanical little tune that was meant to sound jolly.

As the spinning gradually slowed to a stop the cellowship finds that they are no longer in front of the black gates and are instead sitting on small hill in the shade of several trees in front a small brick building that is recognizable as the couseling building.)

Elf Girl: - and so ended the War of the Ring and the reign of Sauron forever.

Miriam(The Counselor): That's it? That's what everyone is so obsessed with? A bunch of people hitting eachother with swords over a piece of jewlery?

Willow: So you're opinion of it has not changed at all?

Tano: After all that work?

Miriam: It's a good story and all but I still don't see why it's something to get excited about. And there's no background to it. How did Frodo get the Ring, and How did they all end up at Rivendell?

Eruviel: Actuall that is included in the story, but it's one of the parts we skipped.

Garina: Maybe we should tell her about Bilbo and his adventure.

Lauralyn: That's a good idea. It might help her to get farther down the road of obsession.

Earniel: Hey you guys?

Everyone: Yeah?

Earniel: Well didn't the story seem sort of warped to you? I mean, I almost positive that the names didn't sound like that and I could've sworn that the Ring looked an awful lot like a cell phone.

Renille: How much of that cider did you drink today?

Willow: Probably far too much.

Claenoic: We all drank far too much.

Tano: Hey where did everyone else go?

Lauralyn:What do you mean everybody else?

Tano: Saurokatt, and Faramirazhi, and Finrollum, and everyone...

Renille: I don't think there was anyone at the meeting by those names. Must be the effects of too much sugar. But there were others here, where are they?

Elf Girl: They must of left in the middle of the tale, what time is it?

Miriam: (checks her watch) OMG! It's 5:00! The session was supposed to end at 2:00! You all better go, I have to leave right now or I'll be late! We have another session of counseling tomorrow. Be here at 10:00. Bye!

Everyone Else: Bye! See ya tomorrow!

OOC: Hope you like the ending at the next session we can start telling her about The Hobbit.
:D

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC:WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?

You just ended it!!! There was no wrapping up! No Scouring of the Shire! I'm hyperventalating here!

*Katt is going to die unless she gets some serious help and an ending that doesn't make her feel like her head was just lopped off with a sword*

[Mirahzi]

So did we (other people) just fade into obscurity..? I feel like a figment of someone's imagination.. which I am. :rolleyes:

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: We didn't meet up with Sauromankatt, we didn't scour the shire for lawers, it just ends. It just drops you on your head. It builds you up like you think there is going to be a wedding and that Miram will be stuck in Middle Earth forever, then, the bubble pops. No, it wasn't real. Go back to your daily lives. It leaves you so down. You feel like you tripped and fell on your face and when you got up, your whole universe was gone.

I feel so depressed. So lied to.

:(

[Nazgûl Queen]

OOC: *sniffle* Awwww... what about the weddings? We didn't even get to rescue them from Mt Doom... poor Miriam must be completely confused caus it didn't even end caus we didnt become Queens and the elves didn't leave... *rambles on about all the missing things*

Nevertheless, a great ending, Willow! And now we must tell her about the Hobbit tomorrow at 10, ay?

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: *sniff*
scouring? Miriam didn't get to hear about the scouring?
Haven't read all of Hobbit. At great disadvantage for retelling. Can I be a drunk elf? :)

[Renille]

I didn't get to change Arwen into a boy!!! That's what I was going to do to "get married..." Oh well. It worked. So the "Hobbit" is a go, then? Save a part for me! And PLEASE, no marrying involved. :p

[Elf Girl]

So... Should I be Gandalf? Please? I promise not to switch parts!

I take it Claenoic will still be Bilbo? Finrod Gollum?

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

How can you just let it be over? Don't you want weddings? And what ever happened to the "Miram will be stuck in middle earth forever" Phenominum?

Can we start an alternate ending RPG for dissatisfied people?:( :( :(

[Tanoliel]

I say go for alternate ending, y'all!
Willow, that's not to say that I don't like your ending--I do, it's GREAT-- it just came too soon, if you catch my meaning.
so whoever wants to do that, please go ahead. I'll help.
-tano

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

I'd agree with Tano...great ending, Willow, but I'd like to try the longer ending, too :)

Not that I feel like starting it. . .lazzzzzy elf! :D

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Ah!! Alright Alright!!! How about this:

(The next day, back at the counseling office.)

Miriam: Alright, yesterday I let you tell me what it was you were obsessed about so today we're going to do some actual counseling.

Willow:Well actually, we talked it over after you left and came to rather unanimous decision that we had left a few things that occur in the end out of the story.

Eruviel: And because of that we're going to go back and fill those things in, aren't we?

Willow: Yes, exactly. So let's see, where did we leave off?

Elf Girl: The end of the battle, the Ring was just destroyed. And the Eagles have rescued Frodo and Sam.

Miriam: Oh-

(Her groan is cut off as the swirling colors and noises they experienced the previous day are reversed and they land blinking, back in Middle Earth)

Glodo: -Eru my head hurts, where are we?

Eruviel: You're in Ithilien, where the rescue helicopters brought you and the others from Mount Nokia.

Tano: You won't believe what you missed while in Mordor! I got to kill a troll and there was a battle and we started planning weddings for Faramirazhi and TCowyn and-

Earniel: Hush. You can tell her about everything later. But right now we have to go to a feast thrown by Aragren in celebration of Saurokatt's defeat.

Garina: Finally, we can party! And then we're going back to Minas Telephone for the weddings, and then it'll be time to go back West.

Willow: Hurry up! Or we'll be late and there won't be any food left!

OOC: You wanted alternate ending, you got it. So keep on posting.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: Thanks, Willow!!! :)

As they walk back. ..
EG: Now we can break out the miruvor...
Garina: And the cheesecake!
Earniel: And the chocolate!
EG: Excellent. Hey, anyone want to have a drinking contest? Open challenge!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Yay! I'm so happy! Thanks willow! :D

PS: Is everyone invited? ;)

Brides family on the left, grooms family on the right, and you! You Evil Villians! Yes you Katt's! Sit in the back! And no flash photography during the ceremony Shekatt!

[Mirahzi]

Faramirahzi: Yay! I've re-emerged into existence! :D

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *runs to Aragren* Hey, hey, who are you getting married to?
Aragren: Go away!
Willow: That's not nice. *pulls Tano over to Faramirahzi* Hey, who are YOU getting married to?
Tano: TCowyn, remember?
Willow: Oh yeah. I was just trying to find someone to bother.
Tano: Well, we do have all those Katts around...
Willow: Yeah! Let's go!

[Nazgûl Queen]

Moraumer: *sees Tano and Willow approaching and attempts to hide behind the nearest pillar... where she is seen by Eruvielas*

Eruvielas: Hey, Tano! Willow! Over here!

Tano: What?

Eruvielas: Doesn't Moraumer have to get married?

Willow: Not neccessarily... but why not?

Moraumer: May Eru have mercy on me.

[Elf Girl]

Elf Girl: *drags everyone away from the wedding photos* Look, Glod- I mean Miriam. You probably think this just temporary.

Laurelyn: But there's a little problem.

Tano: See, when you destroyed the phone...

Nazgul Queen: People who were under the influence of Tolkien obbsessors...

Willow: Remained in Middle-Earth.

Counselor: *puts two and two together* Oh, dearie me. Why me, why me? *goes into hysterics*

Elf Girl: I think she's in shock.

Laurelyn: Should we take her to Elrond to be cured?

Tano: We'd just end up going on another quest.

Counselor: *snaps out of it* Help! I'm going to live on the planet of phsycoes forever more!

Elf Girl: You're still under the influence of your brief stay in what was once your world. It will wear off.

Counselor: *takes a deep breath* Okay. What next?

Laurelyn: *gives Elf Girl a surprised look* She's much calmer than expected.

Counselor: Why MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!!!!!

Laurelyn: *rolls eyes* or not.

[Renille]

OOC- Willow! YES! We thanksss you, we thanks you forever! :p

Renille- "Why ME" are two very big words, Miriam. You've had the power to go back home all along.

Elf Girl- Huh?

Glodo- OOH...this is the part where I click my heels together three times and chant "there's no place like home," right?

Renille- Wrong. This is the part where I tell you that you blew the chance. You're stuck now. Sorry.

Glodo-*sob*

Renille- But I DO have happy news!

Willow and Tano- OOH!

Renille- You guys...when I turn 19, I'm gonna marry Arwen!

Laurelyn- Wait...what?

Earniel- Um...did she get hit on the head or something, because...

Renille- Watch this. Arwen! Come here!

Arwen-What?

Renille- Take it off.

Arwen- But...okay.
*To the delight and amazement of all the people present, "Armann" takes off a mask to reveal a particularly handsome MALE elf.*

Eruviel- Wha...why didn't we KNOW about this?

Arman- My dad saw you coming to Rivendell and wanted to hide me from your attentions.

Earniel- Well, that just PROVES he doesn't like us. Hmph.

OOC- Okay...that little business is over. FINALLY!:)

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Aw, wicked brilliant! Great! So we just have to wait four more years and plan another wedding, neh?
Willow: I wonder if we can get any of the Katts to get married....

[Willow Oran]

Willow: On second thought, let's not get the Katts married. I'm not that wedding obsessed.

Earniel: Yeah, hey shouldn't we start the return trip? I mean, we need to get back to the city for the wedding and then we have the sassorted funerals, and then we trek back across Middle Earth by the proper path now that the worlds aren't so mixed up and then we stop off in Rivindell for a visit and ten we finaly get back to the shire and kick grima out.

Tano: And then once we've rested up a while we can flashback a few decades and go on Bilbo's adventure.

Eruviel: And once we're done with that we can flashback a couple ages and experience the War f the Jewels.

Gimrina: That could take a while, we better get started finishing this one up.

Aragren: To Minas Tirith we go to celebrate the wedding that will do much to solidify the alliance between Gondor and Rohan.

Willow: What are we waiting for then? Let's go!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

MoSK: Professional photos here! Get your professionally took photos right here!

*The body parts of Sauronkatt got hired by Shekatt's new buisness which is professional photos.*

*Meanwhile, everyone is heading twards Minas Tirith, the now definite spot for all the weddings. Tano, Willow, Earniel, Eruviel, Gimrina, and Aragren pass a field in which someone very familiar is working.*

Tano: Hey you! Do we know you?

Aragren: *To Tano* Shh! This is a job for a soon to be queen. *To the person* Ahem, stranger! We find you rather familiar. Could you perhaps tell us your name.

*The person looked up and came over to them.*

Saurokatt: Well, it's been a time since I saw you last! *To Aragren* I am Saurokatt the Clear, Distributer of Free Harmless Cell Phones In Pretty Purple Plastic Wrap. *Bows* Now may I ask you a question, where are you going?

Tano: To weddings at Minas Tirith!

Aragren: Shhh! Our path takes us to Minas Tirith where the union of many soles will occure. You may join us. All are welcome.

Saurokatt: Oh wonderfull! Let me just talk to my assistances. *Whistles and two Solicitorks come straggling up*

All: *Hands drift ominusly to weapons :D *

Saurokatt: *To Aragren* Oh don't worry, these were some of my own personal breed. They were bred to work, not fight. *To Solicitorks* I will be gone at Minas Tirith for two weeks. Tend the gardens. Make sure they get plenty of water. If anything happens, you know my number. *The solicitorks straggle off* Well now, shall we go?

*Saurokatt joined the company and had many laughs with them.*

[Nazgûl Queen]

*Moraumer rides long and hard until she catches up with everyone else... with Glodo behind her, nearly vomiting*

Moraumer: You cant do that!!! You cant just leave us behind!!!

Glodo: *Jumps off the horse and kisses the ground*

Moraumer: Erm... right... anyway, its my sister getting married, and Glodo's the Heroine... sorta... so we need to come too!

Aragren: Sorry about that... you know how it is...

Moraumer: I guess, hard to keep track of people.

Tano: Will you guys stop chatting!

Willow: We have a wedding to organise!

Both: GET MOVING!!!

Moraumer: Honestly... bloody hobbits...

Aragren: i agree... maybe we should help Grima scour the shire?

Moraumer: Na... I wanna kill that slimy worm...

Aregren: Alright

Willow: *coughs* We're WAITING...

Moraumer: Alright, alright, we're coming... *mutters*

[Claenoic]

OOC: Well, at least you didn't finish without me... :rolleyes: I only have the computer for a while so listen up. I DO want to stay Claenoilbo, so please don't start without me. Or else you can start but don't leave me out. Or I don't have to be Clanoilbo and I can be a dwarf. That's all. Kudos! :D

[Lossei]

Hi names lossei


ps tell me if i could be in this

[Nazgûl Queen]

Hey Lossei, I'm sure none of us have a problem with you joining... you could join now and be a hobbit from the scouring, or maybe you should wait a bit and be one of the dwarves...

Speaking of which... since Moraumer wont be in it can I be a dwarve too? Like Fili or Kili (Hehehe... Mori)

[Lossei]

Dear Nazgul Queen thanks and it's okay I'm one of the Dwarves yah it's okay with me that your one of the dwarves too

[Renille]

Hi, Lossei! Anyway, Aragorn isn't in The Hobbit either. Could I possibly request Thorin? Or Kili or Fili? Thanks.I think I'll add to this plot now.(If I don't get one of those, I won't be crushed, I promise.)

Aragren- We're here...let's get on with the weddings and coronation and stuff.

Gandgirl- I'm in charge of crowning you! And marrying the people! Which do we do first?

Faramirahzi- Umm...

TCowyn- Coronation. Definitely. I want my single life to last as long as possible.

Earniel- Heehee...get up here, Aragren...it's time to claim the kingdom.

Aragren- But...I don't want to!

Eruviel- TOO LATE! Get on up there.

Aragren- *sits in the throne...looking scared half to death.*

Gandgirl- Does everyone in Gondor agree to have Aragren, daughter of Arathren, heir of Isildren, as new queen of this fair land?

Citizens- YEAH!

Gandgirl- Then by the powers vested in me by...um...myself, I crown Aragren Elessar as queen! *Does so!*

*Citizens cheer*
Aragren- Thank you very much...I...I'll try to be a good queen...I have many long years with you guys, and I hope to rule to the best of my ability for all that time. Please, be patient with me as I take on the new role. Thank you all so very much.

SSA- *cries* You...really...ARE a queen...do *sniff* you still want a riders' lisence?

Aragren- I...Really? Seriously? YES! OF COURSE I do! You guys! I have a rider's liscense! YES! YES YES YES YES! *Commences jumping up and down on the stage.*

a senior citizens- It's gonna be another LOONGG 80 years, Erma.

[Willow Oran]

Willow: That's so... so... BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!! (Breaks down in happy tears)

Tano: Er.... Willow? It's not that sappy. You don't have to cry.

Willow:Oh, right. On with the wedding then.

Claenoic: Everything is set up inside, hey you guys?

Tano&Willow: Yeah?

Claenoic: I tried to get Faramirazhi and TCowyn to go along with the stuff we planned but... well they talked to the warden of the houses of healing and told him that all this planning was bad for my mental health and so I got kept in there an extra few days and by the time I got out they had come up with their own plan and gone through with it.

Willow: Oh... well, it's all right. It is their wedding.

Tano: They can do what they want with it I guess. They already have, so I guess we'll have a bit of a surprise waiting for us in there.

Willow: Fun.

OOC:Alright, Faramirazhi, TCowyn, this is your chance to post and do your wedding however you want. But if neither of you does so within the next few days then I will or someone else will. So post!

[Lossei]

Yah I think it should be longer too;)

[Willow Oran]

OOC:Very well then, I'll do the wedding scene since no body else wants to.

(The wedding company goes into the hall where there are many decorations of an indescribable nature. The bride and groom stand in front of the dais while Gandgirl reads through the ceremony, as is traditional half the audience falls into a stupor until the very end.)

Gandgirl:I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss eachother.

Faramirazhi: Do we have to?

Tcowyn: Yes. (So saying she proceeds to kiss him dipping him over backwards. [Think that really uncomfortable looking dance position])

Earniel: Enough of that, we need to go scour the shire now.

Willow:Well, do we?

Gandgirl: Of course we do!

Willow: It's just, we never actually passed through the shire and sarukatt is here with us. So wouldn't it just be best to go back to Rivendell? I mean, since we're stuck here in Middle Earth.

Eruviel: She's got a point, and really, would wormtounge be able to even get past bree? He's not exactly the most persuasive fellow in the world and he doesn't look very trustworthy.

(As it so happened they were right, wormtounge had been killed on sight in Bree. The people there are extremely suspicious of strangers after all.)

Claenoic: So we're going back to Rivendell?

Aragren: It would seem that way.

Tano: Do you think you could do that teleportation thingy with all of us?

Claenoic: No reason why not. (she does so and the great hall in Minas Tirith fades solidifying a moment later into the Hall of Fire in Rivindell)

Garina: Hey guys? Where's Elrond?

[Renille]

Elrond- Right here, and I DON'T much appreciate your dropping into my house like this, uninvited, WITHOUT my son who I most recently gave up for marriage to this little girl...

Earniel- The "little girl" is queen of Gondor to you, mister elf!

Aragren- Shut up! He's my future father-in-law, for goodness sake!

Elrond- Oh no. I had forgotten about that little responsibility. Why did you stop here now, though, anyway?

Eruviel- We wanted to...I dunno...say goodbye?

Willow- But we're not...GOING anywhere, are we?

Gandgirl- Yes we are! We have to go back to the Shire, scouring or no scouring!

Cellowship- HOW?
Claenoilbo- Hi, you guys! Want me to transport you again?

Gandgirl- Sure! But first, we wanted to say goodbye to you. You have to stay here, remember?

Willow- Aww...come on! She can come! We've already changed the book around anyway. What's a little more?

Aragren- Well...

Gandgirl- I guess...

Claenoilbo- Great! Let's go back to the shire! *Vanishes everyone. They re-emerge...I don't know where*

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

The gathered Cellowship had landed in a foresty sort of area. Looking around, they were rather confused.
Aragren: Where are we?
Earniel: I've no idea.
Claenobilbo: We should be in the Shire. . .
Eruviel: Almost, anyway. Look, through that clearing! A village!
Tano: Oh! It's Bree!

(ooc: Okay, I know we didn't stop there in the beginning, but I thought an inn would be fun...and it gives me my chance to get good and drunk :))

[Earniel]

OOC: Oooh, it's not done yet! Yeay! (who is at the scourging?)

Eruviel: *eyes shining* An Inn!!!

Aragren: No! *moans* not again! You'll get drunk, I know you will!

Eruviel: *looks a triffle insulted* I won't!

Eärniel: Well, I guess a stay at the inn won't be such a problem, besides it's getting a little late....

Willow: Mmmmm, you're sure you're not saying that because of any chocolate-related reasons, Samniel?

Eärniel: Hey, it's not because the chocolate from Bree is one of the best that.... um.... *pulls herself together* No, no chocolate-related reasons. I was merely thinking in the best interest of the TLA-cellowship. Yes, that was it. Best interest, yes.

Willow: Mmmmm.... *still looks unconvinced*

Tano: I'm getting hungry....

Claenobilbo: It's settled then, let's go.

Aragren: *sighs* well then, if there is no other way... but it'll be a short visit then, okay?

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Tano: Only a few days. . .we have to stick around and talk to Barliman, don't we?
Aragren: But we don't have the time!
Eruviel: Yes we do! Well, maybe you don't, but we have all the time in the world. Now I wonder if they have decent wine here. . .

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

*Everyone walked into the inn. Just then Saurokatt popped out of nowhere*

SK: Hi! Ya know, you forgot me way back at Minas Tirith! Can I come along? Oh, pleeese?!? Pleasey Pleasey Pleeeeeeesiiieeeeeee?!?!?!??!?!?

Everyone: Well...,

SK: Yay! Thanks! I would like to show my gratitude by whipping up some of my specialities. Sorian Brandy? Aldebrean Whiskey? *Eyes Eärniel* Ahh. I know what you want. *Creates a box. All eyes open wide to stare at it* Chocolate Liquers. Each chocolate unique to itself in all the world.

*The box floats in front of Eruvial and opens.*

Eärniel: *Takes a round chocolate out of the box. It is a very dark brown, with a red swirl on the top and gold streaks down the sides. She takes a bite, and falls in love with it.*

SK: Anything else?

*Everyone hoards Saurokatt except Eärniel, Gandgirl, and the inkeeper. Eärniel is too wrapped up in her chocolates and Gandgirl and the inkeeper are looking annoyed.*

OOC: SHE'S BACK!!!

[Renille]

OOC- Should we end soon? This thing is getting off-story. (Wait...that's not possible. It's OUR story, not Tolkien's. I forgot.) Never mind.:p

Aragren *who had also stayed out of the melee*- You guys...get out of there. Leave poor Saurokatt alone.

Eruviel- Must..get...more...

Aragren- This has gone far enough! Everyone, grab ONE bottle for yourself, and sit down with it! Try NOT to murder each other, try NOT to get drunk! By order of the queen!

Moraumer- Oh yeah? Well, I'm queen, too, and I say we don't have to. Watcha gonna do about THAT?

Aragren- *sigh* Nothing. I should've stayed in Rivendell, honestly.

OOC- So that wasn't really worth a post, but it was fun.

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *sigh* All right, all right...*grabs a chocolate and a bottle of special wine and sits on the edge of a table, dangling her legs.* So...what do you guys want to do next?

-tano

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Saurokatt: Well I suggest ending the story drinking and laughing in this wonderfull pub until we all pass out.

Tano & Willow: NO MORE PASSING OUT!

Saurokatt: It was just a sugestion!

[Earniel]

Eärniel: *stares dreamily into nothing* Chocolate......

Willow: Yes, yes, we know it by now. Pull yourself together.

Eärniel: Any praliné left? Those are really good and...

Aragren: *jumps up* Must we always talk about food and drinks?!

*they all look at eachother, then at Aragren and then back again*

All: Well, yes.

Aragren: *sighs and sit down* Allright, stupid question.....

Tanoliel: Then what would you want?

Aragren: Well, we've been running from this place to that battle, from this city to that country. I wouldn't mind a little organising.

Eruviel: What kind of organising?

Aragren: We're going now to the Shire to fight, right?

Saurokatt: Yes, and probably hold a banquet afterwards....

Aragren: *glares* Wouldn't it be nice to have for once a battle plan? Just for once?

Eärniel: We always have a battle plan. We rush into a battle. We fight, we win. Very simple.

Aragren: *burries head in hands* Forget I asked.....


OOC: Poor Renille, queening isn't easy..... :p

[Renille]

Aragren-*is playing with little figures on a map of the Shire*

Earniel- May I ask...

Aragren- NO.

Eruviel- Okay...I think I'll go reserve our rooms now. Is that okay?

Everyone-YES!

Aragren- No.

Eruviel-Umm...

Moraumer- Yes. We'll stay here overnight, leave late, get the Shire back at our own leisure, and then have a big banquet. How does that sound? Good?

Everyone- Yes!

Aragren-No.

Gandgirl- Then it's settled. We leave at noon tomorrow!

Aragren- You'll regret this later, you realize that, don't you?

Claenoilbo- No. We'll just leave you to your battle plan here, and we'll go to bed. You'll have it by tomorrow.

Aragren- Like I said...*buries head in hands again*

OOC- Yes, Earniel, queening is hard. But just THINK of all the job benefits!:)

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

*Everyone went to bed*

OOC: Bed...yes...sleep...three...ten...in...the...morni ng...why...still...here...must...retire...to...to. ..t....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Earniel]

*It is the middle of the night. In the inn a door opens with a slight squeak. A figure dressed in pyamas slips down the stairs and goes to the kitchen. It halts before the door and listens but hears nothing. Satisfied, it proceeds and returns sometime later holding a bowl. Muffled eating noices can be heard. The figure moves to the hall. Suddenly somebody turns the light on. Surprised Eärniel, holding a bowl of chocolate icecream, jumps up and looks around her guiltily.*

Aragren: Oh, it's you. I could have known.

Eärniel: What did you have to do that for! You nearly scared me appetite-less!

Aragren: Sssht! not that loud, the rest are still asleep. Raiding the kitchen are we?

Eärniel: Um..... no. *sees little figures and map* What, you're still at it?

Aragren: *looks down at map of Shire* A decent battle plan takes cunning, intelligence and patience. It'll be a good and sound battle plan. One day you will all thank me for it.

Eärniel: Really? *thinks* Does thanking you involves giving you chocolate?

Aragren: *sighs deeply* Just go to bed.

*Eärniel dissappears with the bowl to her room*

OOC: Fair enough Renille, you keep the queening-job and the benefits, I'll keep the chocolate. :p ;)

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: We HAVE to finish this by Saturday. Otherwise, I won't be able to edit for a month.

Message Repeats

WE HAVE TO FINISH THIS BY SATURDAY!!! :eek:

[Tanoliel]

Tano wakes up as she hears someone creeping past her room. She gets up and tip-toes to the door, then opens it.
Tano: Earniel! And chocolate? what else is new...Come in!

ooc: ok, I'll do my best, but we really need Renille to get her battle plan....be a queen! :)

[Renille]

OOC-Sounds good! I'm all done...really I am. Now I just have to fast forward a little.


IT IS NOW THE NEXT MORNING

Aragren- *Bangs on doors* Get up! We need to go to the Shire! Get up! We have to go.

Eruviel- Wait...1 more...hour...

Aragren- NO! We're leaving now! No time for breakfast! Let's move move move MOVE!

Earniel- Ren...did you sleep last night?

Aragren- NO. Leave me alone.

Tano- *sigh* Let me guess. Didn't you eat anything, either.

Aragren- Right. Now leave me ALONE! Get on your horses and march!

SK- That's impossible.

Moraumer- Not if the horses do the marching.

Claenoilbo- We don't have horses.We can vanish and reappear, remember? Come on. Everyone get in here.

Willow- *pouts* NO breakfast...honestly.

Earniel- I have chocolate!

Aragren- Um...good. Claenoilbo, bring us to the Shire.

*They vanish once again. They turned up in a hospital lobby.*

Earniel- Was this part of the battle plan,genius?

Aragren- No...yes! Yes! This is the Shire! It's where we started out from! So it's our personal Shire! Our home! Don't you get it?

Cellowship- *Blank stares*

Secretary- Can I...can I help you?

Earniel- Wha...you're my sister's best friend! Don't you remember me?

Secretary-Shush. Quiet voices in the hospital please. We don't want to upset the new manager.

Aragren- What did I tell you?

Eruviel- So...how do we scour this place?

Aragren- To the cleaning supply buckets! Rouse the custodians! Come on! Wake up the Shire!

OOC-Okay...that's the plan...we'll probably eventually end up evicting the "manager"

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Oh, what not? *stuffs hidden chocolate bar back into her pocket, heads off to the janitor's cabinet* Let's see....large bucket on roller thingies....check. Mop....check. Sponges...check. Cleaner fluid capable of eating through absolutely anything...yeah, baby, check. *trundles off down th hallway, the bucket rolling behind* I'm taking the bucket for walkies...taking the bucket for walkies...here's a good spot. *begins cleaning while singing Moulin Rouge songs*

-tano

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

*Saurokatt smiles and pulls out a bucket and mop. She levetates over the floor and starts mopping.*

Saurokatt: No walking on the floor. *Eyes Willow who is about to step on the floor she just cleaned.* No! *Makes Willow levitate.* In fact, so we don't get the clean floor dirty, *Makes everyone in the room levitate* There. You can move freely above the floor. NO TOCA EL FLOORO!

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

*Eruviel sneaks up behind the singing Tano thwacks her lightly on the head with a notebook.*
EG: Would you stop singing? Please?
Tano: Give me the notebook!
EG: Here. Can I have a broom? My bow doesn't really work for sweeping :rolleyes:
Tano: Have a broom!
EG: Thanks...hey! Look! It's the twins! *pointing to the other end of the hall, where the sons of Elrond are walking in*
Elledan: (to his brother) oh no...it's that scary wood elf. I'm leaving.
Elrohir: Why? 'Cause she pushed you in the river and got your clothes muddy?
EG: Hey! What are you guys doing here?

(ooc: random and pointless, i know. but i wanted the twins to come back ;))

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Hey, lookie lookie...it's the Narcissistic Elf And His Slightly More Intelligent Twin! *grins in a way that has normal people running in fear* Come help us clean! Oh, wait--no walking on the floor! No toca! NO TOCA! *levitates the twins*
EG: Woah...I didn't know you had magic powers!
Tano: I don't.
EG: Then how...?
Tano: It's an RPG...
EG: I kinda figured that out, thanks--
Tano: SO, logic is inherently banned. See?
EG: Ah-ha! I do.
Tano: Did you just say "Ah-ha"? Embarrasingly enough, I think you just did...*starts to grin again*
EG: Er...well...ah...um....*backs away and starts cleaning furiously*

-tano

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

EG: *looks at Tano* Did I just say 'er?' I think I did. That's not even a word!
Tano: You did.
Elledan: I don't want to get my clothes dirty. . .
EG: Clean, you nancing pretty boy!
Elledan: *looks hurt*

[Willow Oran]

Willow: (Glares at Katt and undoes the levitation spell) I'm a faerie, I have wings. No necisito un hechizo. Ahora, quieres me hacer los platos o no?

Katt: Yes, go do the dishes from the cafetiria. Take the twins and make them help you.

Elladan: Oh no! We are not having anything to do with this!

Willow: Oh yes you are! If you don't help me I'll tell Glorfindel and he'll get mad at you for not helping me because he's mine.

Tano: We know, now stop being possesive and go to work. As soon as this place is clean we're going to find the manager and... er, what are we going to do to the manager?

Eruviel: I don't know, perhaps we'll give him rap cross the knuckles for keeping an untidy hospital?

Aragren: Enough talk! Get to work we need this clean as soon as possible!

Willow:Si senorita! Marcha Chicos!!

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Ay...ay...quieres Prozac? *glances up as she hears a distant noise* No se que fue...pero no lo explote! Oh, wait...what am I saying? Of course I blew it up...though I really don't know what it is. Was, anyhow.

-tano

[Earniel]

Eärniel: *mutters* This is not the kind of scourging I was going for. I've been had. Big time.

Aragren: *walks past*Less talk and more cleaning. My battelplan is sound.

Eärniel: *mutters* This's not a battleplan, it's a renovating plan.

Aragren: *sighs* Then what did you expect, Samniel?

Eärniel: I don't know, a little fighting and possibly killing some sollicitorcs, maybe even a little mayhem and chaos. Definately not sweeping corridors and so much Spanish.

Gandgirl: Not enough danger and excitement in the job perhaps?

Eärniel: *thinks* Yeah, that might probably be it.... and definately not enough chocolate.

Aragren: I see, well in that case.... You get to clean the manager's office.

Eärniel: *looks at the door of the manager's office, omnious music starts playing* Oh joy. * picks up bucket and broom and enters the office (without knocking) The rest of the TLA looks on*

Saurokatt: *looks on watch* I give her about 3 minutes.

Willow: I bet you a candybar she only needs 2.

Saurokatt: Deal.

*Suddenly there is furious shouting coming from the office, the rest can hear only part of the melee. Something about cleaning and intruding and this not being a battlefield and possibly even chocolate. Saurokatt hands Willow a candybar.*

Tanoliel: Not fair, why is Samniel getting all the fun?

Eruviel: Yeah, come on folks. Let's sweep some manager. *all raise brooms, buckets, and other cleaningmaterial* CHAAAAARGE!!

[Lossei]

Earniel: I'm finished and it only took me two minutes

Willow: did I you here that I won the bet and it's in your face give the candybar.

Saurokatt: here I hope your happy. Earniel could you work any slower I lost a candybar

Gandgirl: you scums bet on Earniel well then I bet you guys can go five days without betting.

Saurokatt: you can't do that it's our nauture to

Willow:yah, what's your problem, but I'll execpt will you Saurokatt

Saurokatt: fine very well then no betting

Gandgirl: If you win I will give you an all you can eat buffet

Willow: what do we give you If we lose?

Gandgirl: I'll Have to think about it

Willow: I don't think that's a good sign

Earniel: and I will have to think about that too so you go finish up the manager office NOW!

Saurokatt and Willow : Fine *walks in*

Willow: *cleans* hay

Saurokatt: what

Willow: look what I found

Saurokatt: what is it

Willow: I think it is a dwarf

Lossie: *snoreing* *wakes up*

Willow: o Great you woke it up

Lossei: Hi my name is Lossei and don;t wake me up from a nice sleep again

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *pokes her head round the door* Hey, lookit. It's another one. *yells back down the corridor* There are people popping up everywhere now!

[Lossei]

Lossei: I wanted to let you know that there are five others but they are soon to be gone they leave to find the special tree but I think it's a myth how about you

Willow:to stunned to talk said nothing

Saurokatt: tano it talks and Willow is not moveing

Tano: be right there to help you with Willow and I know they talk ok

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *bops Willow on the head with a sponge*
Willow: Wha? Oh....er...sorry. Chocolate deprivation moment. *grabs chocolate and begins to eat*

[Willow Oran]

(They hear a splash from the kitchen)

Willow: Ai No! I left the twins in there doing the dishes!

(As she says this they hear a cry from one of the twins and a long loud cresendo of crashes and bangs and rattles. The noise gradually dies down leaving the sound of a lone dish spinning around on the floor before coming to a stop.)

Tano: Quick! To the kitchen! The evil soap gremlins have the twins in their grasp!

Eruviel: We must rescue them! Even if they are vain little twerps most of the time.

All: Charge!!!!

[Renille]

OOC- Aw..you don't like my battle plan, Earniel?? Sorry. Maybe it'll improve with this-

Aragren- EVERYONE! This part of the Shire is sound. We must now go to the heart of destruction and dirt! the psychiatric ward !

All-Gasp!

Aragren- We may not escape with our freedom or our lives...but at least we will have tried to free the good hobbits who live there! Liberate the prisoners!

Elladan- Pardon me, but does this require getting my hands dirty?

Eruviel- For the LAST TIME. SHUT UP.

Gandgirl- Charge!

*The cellowship madly circles around the ward, knocking down doors, "scouring" the rooms, generally creating chaos. Soon, all the patients join them. The doctors and nurses were in an uproar. But then...they knocked down a heavy door and out poured...*

Earniel- An army of sollictorcs!

Aragren- STAY CALM! EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL! FIGHT!

[Earniel]

OOC: I did like your battle plan, Renille, I really did. It was very original. I just felt like being a pain. :p And we did have to get rid of the manager, didn't we? :rolleyes: :)

Tano: Under control?! You call this under control?! *hits a sollicitorc*

Eruviel: There too many! We're doomed!*kills another one*

Aragren: No, no, no. We're not doomed! I didn't plan for us to get doomed! We can't be doomed! *whacks a third*

*But still the sollicitorcs keep coming. The TLA and the patients who joined them fight for their dear life and freedom of insanity*

random patient: This will be our Waterloo!

Eärniel: And who are you then?

random patient:*lifts strange-formed hat from head* Ah my lady, Napoleon Bonaparte at your service....

other patient: Don't believe him! I AM Napoleon Bonaparte! You imposter!

*the two patients start fighting*

Eärniel: Sorry I asked. *smacks another orc to make her feel better*

*suddenly strange noices are heard coming from the outside. The fighting stops for a moment*

Willow: *rushes to window and looks outside* The eagles! The eagles are coming!

Moraumer: *runs to same window and looks outside* You fool of a faerie! Those aren't eagles! That's the police! Ay, ay, the riotpolice has come!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

*Saurokatt creates a sword to fight the Sollicitorcs with.*

Saurokatt: Hey! Wait just a damn minute! *Grows to look mighty and powerfull* Sollicitorcs! It is I! Your creator and ruler! Saurokatt of the White Glove! Halt your attack!

*The cellowship hold their breath as the orcs concider.*

Sollicitorcs: Um, no! We don't want to work for you anymore!

Saurokatt: Very well. I shall have to send you back from whence you came. *Raises wand* Acrable enema aros-- *Gets hit in the head with an orc shoe and gets knocked out.*

Cellowship: Damnit!

Solicitorcs: AAAARRRRRGGGGG!!!!!

Cellowship: AAAAAAAH!!!!!!

Riot Police: *Throw tear gas into the middle of the place.*

*All solicitorks and cellowship members pass out from the tear gas*

*When the gas clears all the solicitorcs and riot police are gone and the Cellowship members are lying in the very clean lobby of the hospital*

Saurokatt: *Gets up* Well, that scouring went rather nicely. *Ducks to avoid getting hit by all cellowship members left shoes* Ha ha! I bet you couldn't hit an Oliphant that was three feet away from you! *gasps* MEEP!

Gandgirl: Did you just make a bet?

Saurokatt: Um, what's the right answer?

Gandgirl: Yes you did! You broke our bet. As punshment for losing, you will have to...

OOC: What?!? What is it?!? How about a huge feast... with chocolate! :D