What were they REALLY thinking?

[FrodoFriend]

You know, sometimes when people say something in a movie, their expressions reveal what they're REALLY thinking. I noticed some of these incongruences in LotR. Here're my interpretations:


Elrond: You shall be the Fellowship of the RING! *looks extremely pleased with himself*
Thinking: It's catchy, and I thought of it all by myself!

Boromir: My father looks to me to make things right, and I, I would do it . . . *goes on about Gondor*
Aragorn: *looks politely bored* Will this guy ever shut up?

Saruman: Do you know how Orcs were created?
Lurtz: Growl . . .
Thinking: Ee, why am I wearing a thong?!

Heaps of Orcs attack Aragorn.
Aragorn: Fools. Pitiful fools. *killed 5 dozen with one sweep of sword*

Gandalf looking down at Ring on floor of Bag End.
Thinking: You are in BIG trouble, young man!

Isildur floating in river, eyes wide open.
Thinking: Cheap plastic aquarium plants! No!

Obsolete White Bearded Man sitting in Council of Elrond.
Thinking: Who am I?

Hmmm, I had some more, but I forgot. Anyone else have any insight? :)

[Feraway Hawkbriar]

Legolas-throughout the whole movie-
I'm too sexy, I'm too sexy, I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my bow too sexy yeeeeaah...(ect)

c'mon you know he was!

[aldesign]

why do girls tend to like girly-boys,

look at him, with his FairFace/Skin, and long blond hair
GIRLY BOY!







(homer style)
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmgugugugguuuuuuuuuuu Liv Tyler!!

[KGamgee]

I didn't have a problem with the "girly boy" but Sean Astin is a heck of a lot hotter...but he doesn't act like it as Sam....he's just so perfect......

[Pailan]

In Moria when, the entire fellowship sees the balrog for the first time, simultaneously
thinks, "Ah Ha, it does have WINGS!"

[afro-elf]

Arwen
" A ranger caught off his guard?"

Aragorn
" shouldn't you be home knitting me a sweater, doing the laundry and cleaning up the house, instead of being zenarwen, who can out ride nazgul, sneak up on the GOD of rangers, and has more magic than gandalf. no wonder steward townsend dropped out of this role"

[samwise of the shire]

Pippin:Right.When do we begin?
Merry:*Thinking*I should slap you boy.

Frodo:Go on Sam ask Rosie for a dance!
Sam:No I think I'm going to get another ale.*Thinking*Uggg I'm gonna BARF.

Sam sinking into the river and looking up at the top. Thinking:Come on. I need to BREATHE.Get your hand down here. NOW!

Aragorn strapping Boromirs braclets on his wrists. Thinking:Hmm these look rather nice.

Boromir going down the waterfall. *Thinking* WEEEEEEEEEE!!! Let's do that AGAIN!
Sam

[Hapira_Brandybuck]

LOL @ that last one

Frodo and Sam looking voer toward Mordor at the end
Frodo: I'm glad you're here with me, Sam
Sam thinking: great! can we get some pizza now?

okay... that's lame

[Renille]

Gandalf drops down into the mines....
"Yes! Finally, I'm finished working with people half my age for awhile!"

Aragorn rolling his eyes at Boromir at the council-
"Oh come ON...I still have to say a long, mushy goodbye to Arwen! Hurry up already!"

Boromir looking at the ring on Carahdras-
"How did Sauron get this tiny thing on his finger?"

[Evenstar]

(My quotes wont be exactly right)
After Bilbo gave Frodo that Mithril coat!!
Frodo: "I don't think it would look right"
*Thinking* Oooh shiny!!

When the spider is crawling down Merry's arm when the four hobbits are hiding under the tree!!!
Merry: *thinking* HOLY S**T!!! I better get paid extra for doin' my own stunts!!!

Legolas: (when the elfs are singing about Gandalf in Lothlorien) "....For me the grief is too near." *thinking* Dumb***...should've ran like the rest of us!!!

Frodo: (walking away as everyone else is crying about Gandalf's death) *turns around with a tear streaming down his face* My feet hurt!!! When I get back to Hobbitton I am inventing shoes!!!

:D :D :D

[FrodoFriend]

LOL!!! Really, you guys are just too much.

Frodo: But it can't stay in the Shire!
Gandalf: No! No, it cannot.
Frodo: *thinking* I can tell this is gonna be bad.

Frodo: *to Boromir* You are not yourself.
Thinking: Wait . . . isn't that an oxymoron?

Frodo: *standing by boats at Amon Hen, crying*
Thinking: I forgot to pack a lunch . . .

Cave troll after being stabbed with spear
Thinking: Great, first a bunch of snotty wizard kids stick a wand up my nose, and now this! I demand a pay raise!

Elrond flashing back to when he tried to get Isildur to destroy the Ring.
Thinking: Man . . . I was a dirty, armored sex machine . . .

[Evenstar]

Boromir: "They have a cave troll"
*thinking* grumble, grumble, grumble!! I wonder what Superman would do now!!

Arwen: "What's this...a ranger caught off his guard."
Aragorn *thinking*: Why don't you take this friggin ring to mount doom with 4 hobbits and see if you can watch everything at once!!

Boromir: *thinking* (During his whole speech about the ring being a gift at the council of Elrond) A gift my arse!!!

Gandalf: (falling in Moria) Fly you fools!!!
*thinking* Damn you!! Someone help me up for crying out loud!!!

[KGamgee]

These are FUNNY

[LuthienTinuviel]

frodo, looking out over the emyn miul
im glad your with me sam
* now i have a decoy*

[aldesign]

When Gollum was following in Moria and stopped on the ladder
*thinking***i gotta get me some hand cream, look im all worn and wrinkly, to much following these hobbitses, how do they walk so far, i shure am hungry, im fed up with fish, i could do with some McDonalds, i want girls to fancy me like they do Legolas or Elijah, wheres my agent, i want sexier roles my preciousssss***thinking*

[Hapira_Brandybuck]

LOL I'm loving these

when Sam hits an orc with his pans
Sam: I think I'm getting the hang of this
thinking: My poor pans!!!

[samwise of the shire]

That troll thing!Very good Frodo Friend.
Bilbo:It's my own. My PRECIOUSSS!!
Thinking: Dang my wedding ring's more expensive than this peice of c---
Sauron gazing at the Ring on the Cracks of Doom.
Thinking:I can do better than this
Gimli going on and on about Emyn Muil and how dangerous it is and Pippins staring at him with WIDE eyes.
Pippin:*thinking*Why in the WORLD did I ask WHEN we were LEAVING?
and...
Legolas runs foward to grab Gimli by the beard and he Says:
Gimli:Not the beard*thinking*PULLLEEEZZE dont let go like last time. OR Dont let go of my face beard. You know what happened last time.
Sam as he hits the orcs with his pots.
thinking: DO I dare cook in these again?
Sam

[FrodoFriend]

LOL, Luthien, I love it!

Gandalf trying to climb back on bridge before falling.
Thinking: I should've learned to do pull-ups in P.E.

Boromir sweating while Galadriel stares at him.
Thinking: D*** it! They told me this deodorant was strong enough for a Man!

Frodo caressing the Ring at the Prancing Pony.
Thinking: Ahh . . . I love these new ring-shaped stress balls.

[Evenstar]

After Frodo falls in the snow and is looking for the ring, *thinking* No, no, no, no...where did I leave my keys.:o

[Liviaine]

Funny! All of these! :D

[Varda-Me]

Strider, thinking: "I'm so gorgious. So sexy. So brooding. I could get girls here at the Prancing Pony. What's that next to the save-the-world, defeat evil thing?"

[Sakata]

Arwen riding away from the Nazgul with frodo
Thinking: I hope I dont break a nail...

Arwen: "If you want him come and claim him!"
Thinking: As soon as my stunt double gets here, I dare not get my boots wet.

Biblo smoking toli with gandlaf
Biblo: Ah toli the finest weed this side of...."
Thinking: Yeah, Toli hehe, PJ doesnt know what i really slipped in my pipe, hehe finest weed indeed!

[Evenstar]

Pippin: Besides, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission… quest… thing.
Merry: Well that rules you out, Pippin. *thinking* Boy...I'm glad I' not the stupid one in this...wait...where are we going???

Pippin: Right...where are we going?
Merry: *thinking* where are we going???

Pippin: What about elevensies? Luncheon. Afternoon tea. Dinner? Supper. He knows about them. Doesn't he?
Merry: I wouldn't count on it.
Pippin: *thinking* Good...I feel ill!!!
Merry: *thinking* Where are we going????

Sam: We'll have you, long shanks! *see's Aragorn with his sword* *thinking* yeah...I'll just be on my way...

[FrodoFriend]

Nazgul stabbing Frodo: *thinking* Yeah, yeah, go ahead and cry, you big baby!

Asfaloth, carrying Arwen and Frodo: *thinking* "Slim elf maiden" my tail! Oof!

Frodo while unconscious after Fords: *thinking* Hey . . . nice architecture around here. Don't much like the strange echoing voices though . . . oh my Eru, it's some Elf Man's head!

[Legolas_BowKing]

Gimli: Yes its only another 48 scenes untill my next line!

[Arathorn]

when pippin gets hit with the 2nd apple after he asks about 2nd breakfast:*thinking* Umm...i think they should take these price tags off during editing

Isildur at the crack of doom with Elrond: "No.." *thinking* Doh! there goes my acting career..

Pippen at Amon Sul: "That's fine..Ash in my tomatoes!" *thinking* not to mention my toes,too!

Last Nazgul to flee from Aragorn in Amon Sul:*thinking* Oh! yeah right, that's my cue, gotta run!

Gimli after trying to break the One Ring: *thinking* I knew there was something fishy going on when Balin gave me back that axe

Gimli in front of Balin's tomb: No! No!*thinking*I told you guys you were mining styrofoam not mithril. But did you listen??!

[Bacchus]

Gandalf, staring at the Ring on the floor of Bag End: "I can't believe I bought Enron at $82!"

Merry, looking at the broken carrot: "What a waste"

Boromir, between the second and third arrows: "I really should have let Faramir make this trip."

[Arathorn]

Gollum in the cave turning to the audience: "MY PRECIOOUSSSSSS"*thinking* What the hey, I could have sworn I locked the cubicle.

[Rána Eressëa]

Sauron staring at his One Ring he just created: *thinking* Sweet! I'm so cool, I rule!!! [pause] Hmmm...now that's a good idea...

Elrond every time he sees Frodo: *thinking* Mr. Anndeerson....

Legolas: "There is a shadow and a threat growing in my mind." *thinking* I can't find my hair gel!!!!

Legolas: "There is a fell voice in the air!" *thinking* Son-of-a-orc, he has it!!!!

Frodo waking up in Rivendell: *thinking* Oh my Eru, what did I do last night?!

Frodo every time he starts crying: *thinking* [sniff] Why am I playing such a wuss?

Aragorn slaying Orcs at Amon Hen: *thinking* 99 Orcs running down the hill, 99 Orcs running down, slash a few down, they hit the ground, 72 Orcs running down the hill...

Boromir after the first arrow hits him: *thinking* I'm invincible!!!

[FrodoFriend]

Originally posted by Legolas_BowKing
Gimli: Yes its only another 48 scenes untill my next line!

Hee hee . . . too true, too true!
Funny, Rogue!! Especially the "I'm invincible" thing.

Nazgul stopping on dock out to Buckleberry Ferry:
Thinking: Aaah! 2 feet of water! Sauron save me, run, run!!!!

Sauron's Eye advancing on Frodo at the Prancing Pony.
Saying: I see you . . .
Thinking: Okay, I can only move at about 2 feet per hour, so you'll have to crawl away slower here . . . come on, give a giant flaming eye a chance!

Aragorn snuffing candles w/ his fingers in Bree.
Thinking: Ow! Ow! OW! Jeez, that hurts!

Aragorn when Arwen starts talking to him in Elvish.
Thinking: Huh? I don't speak Elvish! Quick, Raggy, make something up!
Saying: Umm . . . nahasa willa dalai lama, ni oro mino!

[Arathorn]

Sauron's Eye advancing on Frodo at the Prancing Pony.
Saying: I see you . . .
Thinking: Okay, I can only move at about 2 feet per hour, so you'll have to crawl away slower here . . . come on, give a giant flaming eye a chance!


I think Sauron may also have been thinking: VISINE...MUST...GET.....VISINE!

[mirrille]

Originally posted by FrodoFriend

Aragorn snuffing candles w/ his fingers in Bree.
Thinking: Ow! Ow! OW! Jeez, that hurts!


Thinking: The trick is not to MIND that it hurts.

Sorry. I couldn't resist.;) A little Lawrence of Arabia reference in there.

[Arathorn]

Old fellow at Bree before entering the Prancing Pony:*thinking* ok...keep going keep going....now I hope the camera pans a little to the left...alright..keep going keep going...That's a wrap!

[Evenstar]

Boromir getting shot with the first arrow: *thinking* haha...missed the heart dumbass!!
second arrow *thinking* yeah...kinda annoying...just stop now...
third arrow *thinking* ow...ow...ow...ow...OW!!!
*thinking while he's about to get shot in the head* yeah...maybe this whole heroic thing was a bad idea...note to self...STAY HOME NEXT TIME!!!
When Boromir is dying and Aragorn is there
Boromir: ..."my king" *thinking* ...piffle!!

Sam running to Frodo when he is in the boats..."MR FRODO"
Frodo: "Sam you cant swim" *thinking* dumbass
Sam: *thinking* well come back and rescue me damnit!!! If I die...it's all your fault!!!

At the council when Sam comes running out and says he's going too...(this quote wont be right)
Elrond...especially when he is invited to a secret council and you are not... *thinking* don't I have any authority any more???

[Arathorn]

During the council of Elrond when Frodo places the ring on the middle table...

One Ring: Ash Nazg Durbatuluk...As Nazg Gimbatul

*thinking* why are they staring at me like that, didn't anyone tell them its not polite? Darn! I forgot my next line! <shrugs> Oh well..

Ash Nazg Durbatuluk...Ash Nazg Gimbatul...
Ash Nazg Durbatuluk...Ash Nazg Gimbatul...

[aldesign]

hehehe nice ring one Arathorn

[bropous]

Okay, here are a couple of mine...

Barliman: We have some nice hobbit-sized rooms for you, sir!
Thinking: Dammit! Half price again! Where's I put the high chairs?

Pippin: It comes in pints? I'm having one!
[Sam Thinking]: It comes in bloody BARRELS it you want it that way!

Sauron at the Cracks of Doom:
Thinking: Damn my armored codpiece is bunching up on me....cheap elven ****!

Orc at Isengard: "What does the eye command, my loooord?"
Saruman Thinking: "I have an ointment that would do wonders for your skin..."

Saruman to Lurtz: "Do you know how the orcs first came into being?"
Lurtz Thinking: "They beat an elf with an ugly stick?"

Arwen: "What is this...a Ranger, caught off his guard?"
Aragorn Thinking: "No, daft biyatch, I'm a pudding maker caught up a tree!"

Arwen to Frodo: "Come back to the light...."
Frodo thinking" "This chick looks like a retarded Steven Tyler!"

Saruman: "Your mind has been slowed by the halfings' weed."
Gandalf Thinking: "Best weed in the Shire, baby!!!"

Frodo looking at Gimli at the Council of Elrond:
"Dang, he looks just like my great-aunt Shirley!"

[samwise of the shire]

Bropous those were HILARIOUS. Oh my GOSH. I was leaning over my computer desk GASPING for air it was so funny.
Orc:The trees are strong my Lord. There roots go deep into the earth.
Saruman:Tear them ALL down *thinking* Where did I put that gift certificate for the face lift?

Aragorn as Lurtz stares at his arm stump: Whatcha gonna do BLEED ON ME?
Boromir as he gets hit with arrow number two:Tis just a flesh wound.
Lurtz as he stabs himself on Aragorns sword:I've had worse
Aragorn as he rolls his eyes and chops off Lurtzes head:You're a looney.

Arwen:Why do you fear the past?
Aragorn:*thinking*The only past I fear Chick is that you will remeber that I PROPOSED

Arwen:Do you remeber when we met?
Aragorn:*thinking*regretfully yes.

Frodo when he lands at the bottom of the hill he falls off with the other three on top of him:*thinking*There goes my lunch.
Sam

[Nariel Starfire]

Legolas when Eomer threatens Gimli: "You would be dead before your stroke fell"
*thinking* What am I doing? I'm outnumbered a hundred to one and I'm defending a dwarf?

Aragorn when Arwen shows up... *thinking* hey, aren't you supposed to be a blonde guy?

Boromir @ the council of Elrond *thinking* I'm so smart and my daddy likes me better....
l8r fighting w/ orcs *thinking* Ow! Daddy! Ow! I shoulda let Faramir come.

Merry, sitting under the Trolls listening to Sam, *thinking* How do trolls reproduce?

[Nariel Starfire]

Legolas when Eomer threatens Gimli: "You would be dead before your stroke fell"
*thinking* What am I doing? I'm outnumbered a hundred to one and I'm defending a dwarf?

Aragorn when Arwen shows up... *thinking* hey, aren't you supposed to be a blonde guy?

Boromir @ the council of Elrond *thinking* I'm so smart and my daddy likes me better....
l8r fighting w/ orcs *thinking* Ow! Daddy! Ow! I shoulda let Faramir come.

[niggle]

Frodo at Weathertop, crawling backwards away from Riders
"Hey - wait a minute, I left the Gas on at Bag End, I'll just go back and check..."

Black riders at the Ford

"Give us the Halfling, She-Elf"
Thinks - shouldn't that be, give us the She-elf, Halfling

Arwen - draws sword with a flamboyant sweep
"If you want him, come and claim him"
Thinks - hey look at that - I didn't cut the horse's ear off that time

[Arathorn]

Gandalf on Orthanc with the moth
moth thinking: Ew! You could use some mints there. Now I know why Saruman threw you up here

Merry and Pippin while Gandalf pinches their ears
Thinking: Cheeeese!
Gandalf Thinking: Aww! they didn't catch the horns in the picture.

Bill the Pony before the fellowship enters Moria
Thinking: See you at the other end. I guess this is a PG29 mine. What does Moria do for a living anyway?

The fellowship as they hide from the blackbird spies of Saruman
Everyone thinking: Not another guanno attack!

[FrodoFriend]

Sam, I like your Arwen ones!!!

Balrog chasing after Gandalf.
Thinking: Are you my mother . . . ?

Sauron anytime: It's not my fault I'm evil . . . I was locked in dark closets as a child.

Saruman: They will find the One Ring . . . and kill the one who bears it!
Gandalf: Frodo!
Thinking: The pipeweed!

Aragorn: This is beyond my skill to heal. He needs Elvish medicine.
Thinking: Why didn't I pay attention in Ranger health class?

[Arathorn]

Aragorn: This is beyond my skill to heal. He needs Elvish medicine.
Thinking: Why didn't I pay attention in Ranger health class?

Nice one, FF!

Gollum at Moria thinking: Gollum Phone Home

[eowyn144]

boromir when he falls over after trying to take the ring from poor little frodo: i could really do with a hairbrush!
(well if he wasn`t thinking it, i certainly was)

these are all really great u guys. i try but i`m not very funny:(

[Evenstar]

U' know...because of this thread people have got me lookin' at other movies and thinking about what they are really thinkin'...it's strange...!!!

(Legolas & Aragorn, while they are shooting their arrows through the doors in the mines)
Legolas: *thinking* Beat that Mr.!!
Aragorn: *thinking* hehe mine went further than yours!!
Legolas: *thinking* why I should...

[Aragorns Dimple]

Frodo being skewered by CG Cave Troll in Moria:
"How the f*** am i supposed to be scared of a dancing tennis ball?"

Legolas' first appearance at the Council:
"I'm ready for my close-up now, Mr. Jackson!" *Flashes teeth and dreams of fame*

Pippin Took:
"My ears itch. My wig itches. My feet itch AND smell disgusting! How the hell am I supposed to get laid here in NZ?"

Gandalf atop Orthanc:
"I wonder how my stocks are doing today..."

[Arathorn]

Bill before he left the fellowship:*thinking*Poor guys. I guess they decided that 8 fellowship members and a stowaway tourist are better than 9. Now to get back at that ol' mule Faxie. He still owe's me some oats.

Orcs/Goblins in Moria about to surround the Fellowship:*thinking*We're in luck! The Avon Fellowship has finally arrived!

Balrog:*thinking* Gooodie!:)I'll finally get that bleeching agent! I wonder what they think about my new wi...er...shado..er...whatever....

Galadriel: Gandalf is no longer. *thinking* Where's poor ole Bill??:(

Frodo:*thinking* She really misses Bill?!?!

Galadriel:*thinking* oops...sorry Frodo of the Shire who has seen the eye...wrong channel...

Cameraman:*thinking* I guess they'll cut this one out too....

[Starr Polish]

Haha, these are great...reminds me one time, I was on a long trip in a bus with TV's...but the sound didn't work. I was really bored, so I started narrating it and doing the characters voices.

Frodo: Get off the road! *man, I need to get a new contact prescription*

[Arathorn]

Frodo: Get off the road! *man, I need to get a new contact prescription*

Haha! How 'bout this:
Frodo: Get off the road!*thinking*I need to go peepee

[Play Girl]

These are hilarious!

Gandalf to Balrog: I am the weilder of the secret fire *thinking* I wish I was the weilder of the secret fireextinguisher !

Frodo to Sam: I doubt we'll ever see them again *thinking* good ridence to bad rubish
Sam to Frodo: Yet we may Mr Frodo, we may *thinking* fat chance!

Play Girl
xxx

[Arathorn]

Gandalf when he meets Frodo:"A wizard arrives precisely when he means to!"<laughter>
*thinking*cooochicoochicoochicoo

Frodo:"Haha! Gandalf!"
*thinking* Dada!googoogaga!hahahahaha!

Gatekeeper at Bree: "I see we have some Hobbits here."*thinking*my gosh Elijah, Sean, what have they done to you?!

In Moria when pail and armor falls in well...
Pippin*troubled facial expression*
thinking: Don't spank me Dada!:D
Boromir thinking: He's gonna be sent to his room
Aragorn thinking: Another scene stealer. Why don't they focus more on me?
Gandalf: "Fool of a Took! throw yourself in next time!" thinking: Awww was I too harsh to the cute liiiittle hobbit?:( coochicoochicoochicooooo:D

Boromir:"They've got a cave troll"
thinking: Not to mention a DJ and some smooth rockin club mixes. This place is happenin'!

Lurtz running forward:*thinking* Eat your heart out David Hasselhoff! (I'll be ready...)

After Boromir dies...
Aragorn: "We shall not abandon Merry and Pippin, take only what is needed, we travel light, Let's hunt some orc!"
*thinking*I hope this movie ends here, I'm pooped with all this walking.

[Rána Eressëa]

Gandalf facing the Balrog: "I am the weilder of the secret fire! You cannot bounce!" *thinking* I'm fighting a tennis ball???

(Ian actually did that during filming :) Too cute.)

Frodo coming home at night to find the door open: *thinking* OH ERU, NO! FrodoFriend and Rogue Elf are BACK!!!!

Frodo staring at ring: *thinking* Whoa. . . lil' too much hobbit-weed there. . . that thing's starting to talk to me. . .

Gandalf: "Do not tempt me, Frodo." *thinking* He makes hairy feet look sexy. . .

Legolas in Moria: "ORCS!" *thinking* DAMMIT, I WANT MY HAIR-GEL BACK!!!

Gollum in Moria: *thinking* Yess, precious hair-gel, gollum! We owns it now, preciouss, gollum! Yess, hair-gel now Smeagol's, gollum, gollum!

Frodo: "Oh, Sam. . ." *thinking* Wait! Sam has been following me everywhere I go, refuses to leave me by myself, and has just near-drowned himself because he doesn't want me leaving him behind. . . [silent] OH MY ERU!!!! He's a fan-girl in DISGUISE!!!

Frodo: "I'm glad you're here with me, Sam." *thinking* Trip, trip, trip, you evil fan! Trip over that cliff and never get up! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

Frodo walking with Sam to Mordor: *thinking* TRIP ALREADY, DAMMIT!!!

[Wayfarer]

A fangirl in disguise. ;) That's good.

Elrond in sammath naur: *If you would just step out, isildur, I really need to use the toilet.*

Galadriel to frodo; One who has seen the EYE *Oooh! I can make scary faces!*

Galadriel carrying her silver pitcher to the mirror: *Yeah... that's it. I'll just keep acting seductive, and maybe I can get with elijah when this filming is over. Mmmmm, oh yeah!"
Frodo:*WHAT IS SHE GOING TO DO WITH THAT?*

Lurtz during saruman's speech on orcs: "Grrr..." * I am so FREAKING bored. I wonder if the mall will be open later..."

The Witch King: "Surrender the Halfling..." *oooh! Look at my neat sword! Isn't it cool!"

Arwen: *What would Xena do? Quick, think, I need a snappy line! Pose! Pose!* "If you want him, come and claim him!" *was that too much? Did I look fierce and yet sexy? Oh, yeah, draw the sword.*

While chanting: *Heh, if I just keep speaking nonsense like this, everybody will assume i'm casting a spell to call down the river. Too bad for you, daddy!*

While Arwen and Aragorn are speaking

Aragorn: *I wonder if there are any good moss patches near by?*
Arwen: *Oh yeah, I have viggo eating out of my hand! Gonna have some fun tonight!*

Frodo waking up in rivendell: *Where's that hot elf chick? boy, am I hung-over!*

Frodo and Sam at the end of the movie:
Frodo: "I don't suppose we'll ever see them again..." *Great! I'm stuck with this guy who keeps giving me questionable looks!*Sam: "we may yet, mr frodo. We may yet." *But until then, I have you all to myself!"

[Arathorn]

LOL:D Rogue Elf. Reminds me of another long thread you're in.

anyway, back to this thread...

Gandalf to Frodo: "Is it secret? Is it safe?
Thinking: Oh, yeah. I forgot I already came out.

Frodo: "It must not stay in the Shire!"
Thinking: It's ok Gandalf. The truth will set you free.

In Rivendell...
Elrond: "You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring"
Thinking: now shoo! go on! Now I have the good looking elves all to
myself;)

In Moria...
Balrog thinking: hey guys, I'm running out of lighter fluid here

[Evenstar]

(Frodo running away from the ringwraiths and jumping onto the raft..) *yippee...took me ten times but I finally didn't lose a foot while jumping...ooh sorry Sam...did I hurt you again*
Sam: *could we try that again without him landing on me this time!!! Hobbits aren't as light as you think*

Sam running to Frodo in the end: ''Mr Frodo'' *I have pipe-weed...I'll let you have some if you let me come!!*
Frodo: "No Sam" *PIPE WEED!! Gimme, gimme, gimme*
Sam: *Haha...back off buddy!!!*

Frodo: I dont suppose we will ever see them again" *Damn..I left my pipe in Pippins bag*
Sam: "We may, Mr Frodo, we may" *Damn...I left the pipeweed in Merry's bag...*

[FrodoFriend]

LOL, guys, you're a buncha loonies.....:D

Frodo groaning while being stabbed by Cave Troll.
Thinking: Urgh . . . I really shouldn't have eaten that burrito . . .

Gimli: Malt beer . . . rrrrrrrred meat off the bone!
Legolas thinking: Damn primitive Dwarves haven't discovered fire yet . . .

Hobbit children following Gandalf's cart: Gandalf! Fireworks! Gandalf! Fireworks . . .
Fireworks explode out of Gandalf's cart.
Hobbit children: Yaaaaaaaaaayyyy!
Gandalf thinking: Fiddlesticks! Missed!

[Arathorn]

Gandalf thinking: Fiddlesticks! Missed!
(Otherwise known as the F-word in the age of mother goose.)

Later... I have to finish a good spiel for my presentation tomorrow for a change

:)

[Nariel Starfire]

Elves in Lorien when they catch the Fellowship: A dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot you in the dark. *thinking* Dude, we smelled you a mile away. Take a shower, will you? Hey Legolas (blinks seductively) Good to see you again.

BTW: did you see the look Legolas had on his face when the Elves ambushed them... he could hardly keep from laughing.... too bad they took out the part where the Elves toss the rope across the river and hop across.

Gandalf: What did you hear?
Sam: Nothin' important. *thinking* what do I get if I tell you?

Sam: there ain't no eaves at Bag End, and that's the truth *thinking* dude, have you ever heard of altoids? I mean, they are british...

[Evenstar]

Sam: "please..don't turn me into anything...unnatural."
*thinking* mind you...if you want to turn me into a bird that's great!!! Ive been thinking of leaving the Shire for a while now!!!

This next bits are when everyone is crying after Gandalf fell!!!
Sam *thinking* ooh...I lost my pans...SOB!!!

Pippin: *thinking* Gandalfs gone Merry...AND HE HAD MY PIPE!!!
Merry: *thinking* Should I tell him that I have it??? Nahhh!!!

Boromir: *thinking* I cant believe I missed Blues Clues again!!!:(

Legolas: *thinking* Again I say...dumbass!!!

Aragorn: *thinking* You are all a bunch of sooks!! (sniff) I think I have something in my eye!!

[Nibs]

Frodo looks back in the caves of Moria, aware that they are being pursued, and thinks to himself "dang! [he feels his pockets] That monster flung my comb right out of my pocket! How am I ever going to beautify my foot hair in the morning??"

Frodo sits and readsbeside a tree, and thinks "hey... these feet... I think I'm on to something. Yes! The E.W. Foot Toupee factory, gladly capitalizing on Tolkien fans worldwide... I'm a freakin' genius..."

Gandalf facing the Balrog in Moria (where else?), thinking "Chris wanted to know if this thing had wings... curse this newfangled stage magic!"

Boromir holds the ring after Frodo drops it, thinking "Okay... I've been ogling... Viggo, interrupt my ogling! I can't ogle much longer!!" (Why is "ogling" so fun to say for me? Is it just me?)

Bilbo talking to his party guests, saying "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve", while thinking "actually, I hate the whole lot of you... I especially wish Gandalf would reconsider putting a firework in Lobelia's eye."

Legolas saying "I can feel it", while thinking "Dang! Who's calling me right now? Good thing I have it on spasm instead of ring. Is it spasm? Do cell phones go into spasms?" [he zones until an orc slaps him, because the orcs weren't allowed to touch the nine with their swords, if you couldn't tell]

My goodness! That was very much fun! I'd like to try again sometime, if you enjoy reading these as much I did writing them.

[FrodoFriend]

LOL! Ogling! That is a great word! I think I'll go to general messages right now and start a thread about cool words!

[Arathorn]

Fire away Nibs!

Frodo holding aloft the ring near the boats
thinking: I really don't know what to say here but I guess they'll dub something eventually.

Nazgul when it startles the hobbits and chases them to buckleberry ferry
thinking: Darn kids! You startled my steed, get back here!

Bilbo when Gandalf blows a smoke ship through the smoke ring: "I think this will be a night to remember"
thinking: I bet if I had more weed I can do a screensaver

Gwaihir the eagle when Gandalf jumps on him
thinking: boy this wizard's heavy. What am I doing here? This is the last time I do errands for that Manwe.

[FrodoFriend]

Bilbo: *looking at smoke-ship* This will be a night to remember.
Thinking: Would I be seeing that ship if I had had less weed?

Aragorn cutting athelas flowers.
Thinking: Oh goody, I can make a daisy chain!

Nazgul stabbing looming over Frodo on Weathertop.
Thinking: Oh, there's a fly on you, here, let me get that! *stabs Frodo* . . . Oops.

[Arathorn]

Gimli at the Council of Elrond: "Never trust an elf!" *They'll read you're mind and break your heart. Why do these things always happen to me?*

Celeborn: "Nine set forth from Rivendell yet 8 remain, where is Gandalf?"
Thinking: Is this a ploy? He still owes me some of that weed

Galadriel: "Gandalf is no more"
Thinking: They went into Moria, he fought with the balrog, he fell in, yadda yadda yadda....

[Aragorns Dimple]

Galadriel throughout every one of her scenes : "Must..not..act..like...Queen...Elizabeth...again!"

[Arathorn]

When Aragorn rubs the chewed athelas flowers on Frodo's wound...
Frodo <cringes> thinking: Ewww:eek: I sure hope you had your rabies shots.

[Play Girl]

Sauron just before he is destroyed: *If it wasn't for those peskey hobits*

Gandalf: It is a balrog
Gimli: *I bet that hobbits' mithril coat its got wings*
Legolas: *Bet my bow and arows it dosen't*
Frodo: *I bet the ring it does!*

Galadrial: Yet hope remains while the company is true. *yeah fat chance of that happening!*

Aragon: You have my sword *Arwen owns everytbing else of mine sigh*

Gimli when he first sees the mithril coat: *screw the ring I want that coat.*

Sam: I'm comming too Mr Frodo *just as soon as I can get that ring then I will cover all the lands in darkness...oh...er...I mean garden*

[Evenstar]

Biblo after Gandalf blows out the ship!!
*thinking* oooh...it's a fluffy bunny!!

Gandalf: Theres more to this hobbit than meets the eye...(see;s the mithril coat) *thinking* hehe...he looks like a Christmas tree.:D

[Laurelyn]

Frodo : Take it, Gandalf!
Gandalf : Don't offer it to me!
Frodo : I'm giving it to you! *thinking* C'mon, you know you want to rule the world . . . c'mon, take the darn ring already!
Gandalf : *thinking* These Hobbits really are annoying . . . I see why Sauron wants to wipe them off the face of Middle- earth.

Gatekeeper dude at Bree after the Nazgul squash him under the gate : I am SO not getting paid enough for this . . . gotta ask for a raise

Arwen : nin o Hithaeglir lasto beth daer, rhimmo nin Bruinen dan in Ulair . . . *thinking* Yay! I can speak Elvish fluently! Ok, so it's just memorized lines, and I've NO CLUE as to what they mean, but for publicity and other such junk, I can speak Elvish!

Arwen: Ok, the flood hasn't arrived yet . . . darn, I guess I have to say my line again . . .

Frodo : Aw shucks, lady, can you let go of me? I'm getting SQUASHED here . . . *gasps* Arwen! LET GO!

[Play Girl]

Frodo with Arwen when she floods the river: *thinking* Ahh Guiness really is good for you, I have b- waited long enough!

[Nibs]

One of the non-speaking extras at the council, thinking: "Why is this called a council if only four people talk?? Nothing like this to bring down an actor's self-esteem. I finished five years of acting school for this? Crimony..."

The orcs strewn about Boromir and a few still running at him, thinking "run, be slain, fall... run, be slain, fall... I can do this."

Frodo puts on the ring the third time to escape from Boromir, is fixated by the lidless eye then thinks "indeed, it feels as though I can be seen throughout by this unnamable power! I feel naked!"
PJ: CUT! I want that footage obliterated!
EW: Huh? [he looks down] Oh... [he turns around and a quick "zip" is heard]

You like? You like?

[samwise of the shire]

Nibs that last one was great! I was laughing REALLY hard at Frodo Friends Primitive Dwarves.Has anyone noticed the look on Aragorns face when Legolas says "I feel it" it's like he's saying"Ok can we go NOW". He does that alot I've noticed.

Boromir:It..It is a Gift from the enemy let us use it against him.
Aragorn:Thinking:Come on already I gotta go BAD!make note to self. Do NOT drink before going on set.
Gandalf as he grabs Merry and Pippins ears. Thinking:My Grandma had a poodle once(a contribution of Cassi Lloyd my BFF).

Gandalf as Frodo jumps on him in the cart. Gandalf thinking: Ooof Elijah what did you have for lunch today? Cement BRICKS?
Ok I KNOW that Elijah wasn't in that part of the movie, but oh well.

Elijah as he jumps for the raft on the Brandywine. thinking:Dont miss Elijah DONT YOU MISS!Dont miss!*hits the boat but his foot starts floating down stream*Says: Damnit. *Laughing is heard from the other cast and crew*
Sam

[Arathorn]

When Sam sinks in the water to try to follow Frodo...
Frodo:"Sam!" *thinking*Ye man of little feet!

[Evenstar]

After Arwen says all the Elvish stuff and the water washes away the Nazgul: *thinking* whoops...that wasn't right!!! All those years at elvish school and I still cant do it right....wait....what's the elvish word for fire???

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Elrond, when he is talking to Gandalf about The Ring, and what is to become of Middle-earth without the elves:
*Humans are a virus...wait, wrong movie! But it's still the same idea, right?*

and at some point when he is talking to Frodo, could be anywhere: *Mr. Frodo. You seem to have been leading two lives. One, as a peaceful hobbit of the Shire. The other, the bearer of a dangerous magical ring. One of these lives has a future. The other does not. Mwahahaha...oh, you mean I'm supposed to be the good guy here?*
Well, that's all I can think of for now....
BTW, I've fallen off my chair about 5 times now, reading these!

[Evenstar]

Originally posted by Eruviel Greenleaf
Elrond, when he is talking to Gandalf about The Ring, and what is to become of Middle-earth without the elves:
*Humans are a virus...wait, wrong movie! But it's still the same idea, right?*

hehe!!!

BTW, I've fallen off my chair about 5 times now, reading these!

I do that ALOT!!!

[Arathorn]

you guys sure have unsturdy rockers...

what am I saying ROFL I guess I do too :D

Bill the pony just before leaving the Fellowship in Moria
*thinking* just you wait, Meriadoc and Peregrin. Think you're so important? You're next on their chopped-liver list. Mwahahahaha!

[Arathorn]

Elrond: You Shall be the Fellowship of the Ring.
<thinking> Won't these weird people go now?

After the Fellowship has left Rivendell...
Elrond: And this place shall be called Priscilla, Queen of the Misty Mountains, Hit it Girls! <thinking> I love the night life, I like to boogie...on the disco.. ahhhhh..ohyeah..
Mama mia, here I go again, My My...I will never let you go
Mama mia, here I go again, My My...I will never let you go

[Agburanar]

Gandalf "A palantir is a dangerous tool Saruman"
Thinks: Great, I get a bloody ring and he get's a palantir, it's not fair. I must write to mr Jackson and see if we can alter this bit, Gandalf the pink sounds quite fetching...

[Laurelyn]

Originally posted by Agburanar
Gandalf "A palantir is a dangerous tool Saruman"
Thinks: Great, I get a bloody ring and he get's a palantir, it's not fair. I must write to mr Jackson and see if we can alter this bit, Gandalf the pink sounds quite fetching...
Gandalf the pink? Gandalf the PINK??!!!
I laughed very hard at that . . . now I'm all bruised from falling off m chair . . . :D

Watcher in the Water (at moria) : *grabs Frodo by the leg*
Frodo: Uh oh, the foot's about to come off . . . Darn you, you stupid monster, don't pull off my hobbit- foot . . . Aaahh! (a splash is heard)
Peter Jackson: CUT!!!

[athelas]

Originally posted by Arathorn

Lurtz running forward:*thinking* Eat your heart out David Hasselhoff! (I'll be ready...)


:D

Lurtz running forward: (thinking) Baywatch Grey Havens here I come! Now where did I leave those red swim trunks?

The scene at weathertop where the hobbits are cooking....

Frodo: (Stamps onto the fire, putting it out with his bare feet).
Put it out, you fools! Put it out! (thinking) OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH!!!!!!!! Damn you PJ!!!

Bilbo: My old sword, sting. Here, take it, take it.
Frodo: It's so light. ( Thinks: Yippee! Me get sword! Me go fight orcs and all!!!)
Bilbo: Yes, yes… made by the elves, you know? The blade glows blue when orcs are near, and it's at times like that, my lad, when you have to be extra careful. Here's a pretty thing. Mithril. As light as a feather, and as hard as dragons scales
(thinks) Damn! How thick can he get? Its just a bunch of tin foil.

Galadriel: I pass the test. I will diminish, and go into the west, and remain Galadriel. (thinks) Oh no I won't. Gimme that ring, halfling!

Galadriel as she kisses Frodo's head: (thinks) Eurgggghh!!!!! You have lice! Bleah!!!!!

Frodo unbuttons shirt to put on mithril coat, but buttons it back when Bilbo says he wants to hold the ring.

All the crazed EW fangirls in the audience: ( thinking) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

[eowyn144]

ok seriously- i actually was like nooooooooooooooo at that part.damn bilbo.

[Nariel Starfire]

in line with aragorn's mama mia....

Frodo at his birthday party: Go dance with Rosie, Sam!
*thinking: You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen......

Legolas: You have my bow
*thinking:
When you're all alone, and the pretty girls have gone,
honey I'm still free, take a chance on me.
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around.
If you got no place to go, when you're feeling down...

Sam, thinking: AHHH! MUST.....NOT......Think......DISCO!

[Laurelyn]

Originally posted by athelas
Frodo unbuttons shirt to put on mithril coat, but buttons it back when Bilbo says he wants to hold the ring.

All the crazed EW fangirls in the audience: ( thinking) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

There was actually a girl a little ways to my right who swore loudly at the screen at that part.

[samwise of the shire]

I leaned foward slightly intreseted at that part. I was kind of thinking "No DONT you take that shirt off" but another part of me was like "Hmmmmmm Shirtless. Interesting."

Frodo starts removing shirt and all the girls lean foward in the audience. Frodo:thinking: *Ok make it slow but natural.* Sees Bilbo lookign at Ring, does that cute little "ok you're REALLY weird" look. Starts buttoning shirt. Girls sigh but still stay leaned foward in their seats.
Bilbo turning into that THING:*thinking*Oh I wish I could see Elijahs Fan girls. He heh he he he he OR Ok scare the scare them, dont laugh.

Ok dumb but I had to do that. I was just like that during that part. But I like Elijah Wood better with shirts on if you can bleive that.
Sam

[Celebwen]

*is writing this while standing on her knees because she doesn't have the strengh to stand up again after laughing so much!!!*

Frodo unbuttons shirt to put on mithril coat, but buttons it back when Bilbo says he wants to hold the ring.

All the crazed EW fangirls in the audience: ( thinking) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

I said "Dang" out loud at that part and my mom gave me a wierd look:rolleyes:

Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli after Boromir's death promising to stay by each other.
Legolas thinking: I'm glad Aragorn's here....If he wasn't it'd just be me and that damn dwarf....
Gimli looking up at the Elf and Aragorn thinking: Now I'm the shortest here.......Dang.

Fellowship entering Moria and looking around at the skeletons.
Legolas thinking: Oh joy. A dwarf hole. Not much for scenery but the carnage is really quite lovely....

Sam wading out to Frodo and is nearly underwater.
Frodo, "Sam, you can't swim!" thinking: or can you?......

Arwen pulling out her sword at the ford.
thinking: now, the trick is to do it without taking any fingers off......WHOO!!!!! Yeah me!

[FrodoFriend]

Originally posted by eowyn144
ok seriously- i actually was like nooooooooooooooo at that part.damn bilbo.

Ditto. Curse that Ring! It really is evil!

Frodo standing by the boats crying, with the Ring in his hand.
Thinking: *sniff* This is my last Chuckie Cheese's token . . .

Isildur picking up Sauron's finger.
Thinking: Mmmm, cocktail weenie? A bit burnt . . .

[Evenstar]

Frodo sittin' in the tree at the very beginning and he hears Gandalf coming: *thinking* What is that I hear: ITS GANDALF!!!stupid wizard!!

Frodo: (rushing to the fire) Put it out you fools!!
Merry: *thinking* pipe down cha chi!!!
Sam: *thinking* sheesh...easy Mimey!!!
Pippin: You got ash on my tomatos. *thinking* Not to mention another part of my anatomy that I wish not to mention!!!

Bilbo: "My preciousssss" *thinking* Yikes...I almost scared myself!!! I am good!!!

Gandalf: (after Biblo claims that Gandalf was trying to take the ring off Biblo...that whole angry speech)....I am trying to help you!! *thinking* Give me the ring you damn fool!!!! Mwahahahaa
Bilbo: *thinking* good, good!!! I'll just be on my way and ummm....see you next tuesday!!!

[Arathorn]

Gollum in his Misty Mountain cave: My Preciouussss
*thinking*1010011010100100111001<beep><click>/* insert easter egg here, W#TA Rocks! */"Runtime Error 200", "Divide Overflow"

PJ: Cut! *thinking*It's gonna be a long year...

[Nibs]

"insert easter egg here"? Boy, I thought I knew what that post meant, but you sure proved me wrong.

Frodo, sitting at the council of Elrond, thinking "Childlike innocence... check. Naive line... check. Wavering voice... double check. Okay, here we go..."

Elrond telling Frodo how gone he nearly was, thinking "wait'll he sees those frilly pink skivies we put on him when he was out... he'll be whistling a less grateful tune."

When Bilbo snarls at Frodo when he buttons his shirt back up, Frodo thinks and is tempted to say "Silly Bilbo... rings are for evil."

Sauron while pounding the ranks of the Last Alliance, thinking "another ton bites the dust", "if I had a hammer", "can't touch this", "hammer-time", and "this is way more fun than torturing... dearie me, that's profound."

Boromir thinks to himself as he "dies", thinking "well, that's it... now only my corpse will be in the sequel... and that's a maybe."

[Evenstar]

Originally posted by Arathorn
Gollum in his Misty Mountain cave: My Preciouussss
*thinking*1010011010100100111001<beep><click>/* insert easter egg here, W#TA Rocks! */"Runtime Error 200", "Divide Overflow"

PJ: Cut! *thinking*It's gonna be a long year...

LOL!!! LMAO!!!

Bilbo walking away and leaving the Shire: *singing* We're off to see the wizard..the wonderful wizard of.... damn...wrong movie!!!

Pippin: Right...where are we going!!!
Pippin: *singing* if I only had a brain!!!

Sam: If I take one more step it will be the farthest away from the Shire I've ever been!!!
Frodo: *thinking* Oh for Gods sake!!! "Come on Sam" *grumble, grumble*
Sam:*singing* If I only had some courage!!!

(Iknow that this quote is wrong but u get the picture)
Boromir: (to Aragorn) Let them rest a while...they are grieving!!!
Aragorn: *singing* If I only had a heart!!!

[Celebwen]

ROFL Evenstar!!!!

Boromir going on and on and on about Mordor at the Council...."the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume..."
Aragorn thinking: Sounds alot like you....

Legolas and Aragorn in Moria.
Legolas "We can't stay here."
thinking: treefrogs really are kinda cute
Aragorn nods, thinking: yeah, I had a couple named Bertha and Fred in Minas Tirith for a bit but Elrond didn't let me keep them. Ya see, Fred had this habbit of.........

[Lightice]

Haldir: "That dwarf breaths so loud, that we could had shot him in the dark" *thinking* Why, oh wy, I was kidnapped from Discworld...
Sauron at Battle of Last Alliance: *thinking* I wish, that I won't drop this damn thing. It would be too embarrasing to blow up without an obvious reason...

[Arathorn]

heeheehee:D Evenstar

That would sure give Enya and Shore the shivers.

Gandalf: Tell me, friend, since when did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for madness?
*thinking with rapid lip movements*Ya think ya know kung fu, well let me show you my dragonfist!

Saruman*thinking/grinning*He doesn't know that I have the kame-hame wave in my arsenal, with crane in eagle's claw to boot, heheh

[Agburanar]

Elrond: I think this task is appointed to you Frodo...
Thinks: Kill you I will!

[Comic Book Guy]

"insert easter egg here"? Boy, I thought I knew what that post meant, but you sure proved me wrong.


It refers to the fact that Gollum is Computer-Generated, and a lot computer programs have Easter Eggs, secret surprises that you have to look for.

[Nibs]

Well, I know what an easter egg is, but what does that have to do with a CGI like Gollum? That's basically all I was saying.

[Arathorn]

Well, I know what an easter egg is
congratulations:)

but what does that have to do with a CGI like Gollum? That's basically all I was saying. That's probably the same question the program was trying to resolve before it crashed. It wasn't my intention to give you a headache Nibs, it really wasn't. My apologies. :rolleyes: But since this seems to be a C programmer's comment (encased in /* */ marks) which programs ignore anyway, I won't lose sleep over it. 'hope you're coping with you're insomnia, btw.;)


Nazgul Witch King at the Ford:Give us the halfling!
*thinking* Glorfindel?! :confused: Did you have an operation?

Cave Troll in Moria: "Roar"
*thinking*1010011110000100111010<beep><click>/* ok don't have an egg, W#TA still Rocks! */"Runtime Error 200", "Divide Overflow"

PJ: "CUT!"*thinking*And I do hope they cut that out...ooh...ooh...colors!

[Aragorns Dimple]

Balrog chasing Fellowship in Moria:

Gandalf: "You shall not pass! Dancing tennis ball!"

Balrog: "Roooeaaroooaarrrrrr ... oof!!!" *lays an Easter Egg*

Egg hatches and baby Balrog comes squeaking out. "Squeak! Ain't I cute for a CG creation?"

Pippin: "Oooh, there's dinner! Let's catch it before it flies away!"

Gandalf to Baby Balrog: "FLY YOU FOOL!"

[Starr Polish]

Aragorn: Let's go hunt some orc *thinking Why oh why do I ahve to use this incredibly stupid line?*

[Aragorns Dimple]

Aragorn: "Let's go hunt some PORK! I'm hungry after all that sword swinging and forehead kissing!"

Gimli: "AI CARAMBA!"

Legolas: "My ears itch. My wig itches. Who cares about Merry and Pip anyway?"

[Arathorn]

Gimli: "AI CARAMBA!"
LOL! Mr Dimple, I'm still trying to imagine Mr JRD with a latin american accent.

[Celebwen]

Egg hatches and baby Balrog comes squeaking out. "Squeak! Ain't I cute for a CG creation?"

Pippin: "Oooh, there's dinner! Let's catch it before it flies away!"

Gandalf to Baby Balrog: "FLY YOU FOOL!"

*falls off chair shrieking*THAT IS SO.........CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Agburanar]

Tee Hee, splendid!

[Arathorn]

In the Halls of Khazad-Dûm...
Frodo: Something's moving down the, Gandalf

Gandalf: It's Gollum
*thinking*It looks like Kermit the Frog

Frodo: It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill the creature when he had the chance.*thinking*It looks like my biology lab subject.

Smeagol: *thinking* their undressing me with their eyes!010111000110001001110<beep><click>/* I am not laying any easter eggs here, W#TA keeps on rockin'! */"Runtime Error 200", "Divide Overflow"

[Aragorns Dimple]

CG Treebeard to Merry & Pip: "Hroom Hum Hroom! Not so hasty! Hroooooooommmm! *lays an easter egg*"

Merry: "Well there's something you don't see every day."
Pippin: "Ooooh a tree-egg. Let's eat it!"
Merry: "But it's made of wood, you dolt."
Pippin: "Well I've eaten ash on me tomatoes before!"

CG Treebeard: *thinking* I look like the scary trees from that godawful Disney Snow White movie!*10111000110001001110<beep><click>/* I am not laying any easter eggs here, W#TA get me to Isengard! */"Runtime Error 200", "Divide Overflow"

[Nariel Starfire]

Arwen: Do you remember the first time we met? Do you remember what I told you?

Aragorn *thinking* No, but if I kiss you, will you shut up?

[Evenstar]

(When Arwen gives her necklace to Aragorn)
Aragorn: *thinking* Great...feminine jewelry...just what I always wanted.

(Bilbo seeing the ring again)
Bilbo: I should like to see it again. *thinking* IT"S MINE...MINE I TELL YOU!!!
Frodo: *thinking* Crazy old coot!!

(After Frodo fell in the snow and the ring fell off...Boromir gives it back)
Aragorn: (drawing his hand away from the hilt of the sword) *thinking* Damnit....that would have been the perfect excuse to get rid of him now...Instead I have to try and save his arse later!!! The ninnyhammer!!!

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

The One Ring (at the council of Elrond): Ash Nazg Durbulutuk, Ash Nazg Grimbatul, Ash Nazg... Thinking: Darnit! What's the next line? Oooh, I can't remember, I guess I'll I have to repeat the first stuff over and over again....Ash Nazg Durbulutuk, Ash Nazg Grimbatul, Ash Nazg Grimbatul...

[Play Girl]

*CG created army that is following ELrond at the battle of the Last Alliance* "Yells in anger and defiance" *thinking* 000100101001010<beep><click><hum>/*Sauron forever, Sauron forever, Mordor Rules*/<click><hum><beep> entire army turns into an easter egg advertising weekend breaks in Mordor with coach trips up Mt Doom at 12 noon each day.

PJ: aww s*** *thinking* aww f*** I'm gona kill those digital guys!

Play Girl
xxx

[LuthienTinuviel]

gandalf on the bridge of kazad-dum
saying: you cannot pass!
thinking: noone likes tennis, go home!

saruman standing at the top of orthac right after gandalf escapes
saying : then you have chosen death
thinking: nurg, that was a really good comeback that i thought up last night too! stupid wizard.

:D

[Bacchus]

Pippin, after knocking the body into the well--Isn't it time for breakfast?

Bilbo, on seeing Merry and Pippin at Rivendell--I left the Shire to get away from those &^*$*& jerks!

[Arathorn]

Isildur upon taking Narsil:*thinking*
I am Isildur Montoya...you killed my father...prepare to die!
I am Isildur Montoya...you killed my father...prepare to die!
I am Isildur Montoya...you killed my father...prepare to die!
...

Sauron:*thinking* Can someone stop this kid? AAAAAAAHHH! He's so annoyinng; I think I'll fake my death and go back as a lidless eye with contacts!

[samwise of the shire]

LMBOWROF That is a HOOT. LOVED Evenstars wizard of OZ. That is SOOO PERFECT for this. And MR Dimples Baby Balrog. I was laughing SO hard I almost CRIED!
Sam

[FrodoFriend]

Eowyn getting rejected by Aragorn.
Thinking: Damn . . . I knew I should've worn the other perfume!

Legolas when cave troll is trying to hit him with chain.
Thinking: Stupid kinky fangirls disguised as troll . . .

[LuthienTinuviel]

ahhhhh! FF that one about the kinky fangirls

ahh!
for some reason that just reminds me of the thread i just left. haha

sorry, freak ou tmoment, funny funny funny kids:D

[Agburanar]

Frodo after Bilbo tries to grab the ring: Uncle, what big eyes you have!
Bilbo: All the better to see you with my precioussssssss.....

[Sween]

Bonimer as hes dies

thinking "wheres that welsh guy that allways saved my ass in sharp when i need him"

[Laurelyn]

Arwen at the ford: *thinking: The fans are gonna hate me for this . . . oh, to h*ll with the fans* If you want him, come and claim him . . .

[Arathorn]

In Bag End...
Frodo:"Then you must take this ring." *thinking*Will you be my friend?
Gandalf:"Do not offer me this ring!" *thinking*What the...Hmmmm...
Frodo:"I'm giving it to you!" *thinking*With this ring, I thee wed...
Gandalf:"DO NOT TEMPT ME FRODO!" *thinking*really?:rolleyes: But my heart belongs to Ewan...

[Arathorn]

LOL. Good one Laurelyn.

[Evenstar]

Sam: Don't go where I cant follow" *thinking* wait....I get the ring...hehe...it's mine, my precciousss!!!

[Earenya]

This is one of the funniest threads I've read!!


great one, Arathorn!

Isildur upon taking Narsil:*thinking*


*Boromir after seeing that Aragorn was watching him w/ Narsil...
"Dang, glad he didnt catch me playing dress up earlier; hmm I'll act like a manly-man to compensate..."

*Aragorn looking at Boromir...
"I pity the fool..." (voice of mr. t)

[Arathorn]

Eye of Sauron when Frodo puts on the ring:"I seeee yoouu..."
*thinking*Turn on ICQ, we need to talk....

Smeagol in Mordor:"Shiiiiire! Baaaagggiiiinnns!"
*thinking* A little more to the left, my love, these shiatzu sessions are so, .....<gollum, gollum>, 1010011110000100111010<beep><click>/* place PJ special here, W#TA W#TA go W#TA! */"Runtime Error 200", "Divide Overflow"

PJ: GUYS! :mad: oh, oh,:eek: hmmm, hmmmm, put that in my collection:rolleyes:

[Andúril]

I am working as fast as I can
======================

Sauron looking at his ring : "My preciousssss" (said in a very deep voice).

Elong as herald of Gilgalad, shouting orders : "Yo quit aiming at me!"

Elven frontline : "UPPERCUT!"

Elendil screaming with joy at the seeming dominance of his army : "Holy **** my army's wopping yo ass!!"

Elrond sensing Sauron;s presence : "Dude what's that smell? Oh muther**** who's that dude?"

Isuldur seeing Sauron : "****."

Sauron destroying Alliance frontline : "Yo, I'm gonna open up can of woppass on yo ass!!"

Alliance frontline : "ahh for ****'s sake..."

Isildur looking at his father's sword : "Yo I thought this was made out of titanium..."

Sauron getting his finger chopped off : "Precioussssss!!!! Yo why you do that?"

Isildur ambushed : "Hey no fair! You surprised me!"

Bilbo hearing Gollum screaming : "Theodore? Alvin? Is that you?"

Gandalf telling Frodo a wizard is never late : "Wassup yo? Don't go dissing me - I'll open up a can of woppass on yo ass."
Later, trying not to smile : "Sorry dude, I let one rip. Who feeds a maia baked beans anyway?"

Frodo diving onto Gandalf's lap : "Yo, I am overcome with desire for the mansex."

Merry walking with goat : "yo this goats horny."

Angry looking hobbit seeing Gandalf : "Aarrrr!!"

Gandalf releasing a fireworks teaser for the hobbit children : "Mmmmm, young meat..."

Angry looking hobbit after Gandalf releases firework : "Ahhh, what a pleasant chap - Yo I'll cut you!!"

After Frodo tells Gandalf he is glad he is back (Gandalf) : "Yo thats some fine ass there. Mmmmm little boys...(sucks on pipe)"

Gandalf hugging Bilbo : "Hmmmm, nah, Frodo feels softer."

Gandalf hitting himself on chandelier : "Yo!"
Hitting wooden beam : "Yo wassup! I am maia!"

Bilbo and Gandalf smoking : (Bilbo): "Dees good ****" (Gandalf): "Yeah its da bomb"

Sam reluctant to dance with Rosie : "I wish I could tell Mr Frodo how I really feel" (looks forward to holding hands with Frodo in the future). "Yo beeitch shake that bootay!"

Frodo laughing at Sam : "I have the fakest laugh ever..."

Bilbo telling scary story to hobbit chiildren : "Must get these dirty thoughts out of my head! Must get them out!" Realizes he can comfort them lovingly when he scares the bejeezus out of them. "Hehehehe..."

Gandalf dancing in crowd : "Weeeee! Look at me look at me."

Gandalf laughing at the thought of lighting special fireworks : "Ahh, my secret Rohypnol fireworks..."

Bilbo looking deep into Frodo's eyes after saying the word "fond" : "Remember, it's our little secret.

Nobody must ever find out. I feel constipated...."

Gandalf seeing Bilbo dissapear : "Yo that was kewl!!!"

[Andúril]

Gandalf confronting irrate Bilbo : "Yo!! I am maia! I have superpowers, such as making rooms darker, and lowering my voice. I also like young flesh..."

Bilbo leaving Bag End : "Jeeez it stank like hell in there. That Gandalf is nasty." Gandalf smiles.

Gandalf trying to pick up the One Ring and sensing the Eye : "Jeepers! My Eru! Yo!"

Gandalf saying "Bilbo's ring" when Frodo arrives : "Hehehe Bilbo's ring...."

The nine leaving Barad-dur : "Righto maties, lets make haste." Nazgul singing a bunch of merry songs as they ride out.

Gandalf going through old documents in Minas Tirith : "I know they have some naughty stories in here somewhere, ahhhh..."

One of the riders asking for "Shire" and "Baggins" : "Yo dude, I have a creepy voice. Actually my ass hurts like hell after that long journey, hence I am mighty pissed off, yo"

Hobbit replies : "Thus soil I mine pants."

Sam walking past Rosie in doorway : "Whore. Stank beeyaach."

Gandalf surprising Frodo at Bag End : "Yo!! I am maia! Maia with itchy groin!"

Frodo surprised at Gandalf throwing ring into fire : "Why burnest thou Precioussssss?" Gandalf : "I am maia."

Frodo discovering the runes on the ring : "Yo homie, wassup widees runes?" Gandalf : "I dunno son, oh wait a minute, it looks like it is language of .... <gasp> ....Morrrrrdorrrrr!! Rrrrrr! Rrrr!"

Gandalf reciting : "One ring (heheheh) to rule them all, one ring (ahem) to find them, one ring (smiles at Frodo, fluttering eyelashes) to bring them all, and in the darkness bang them...eh bind them. I am maia. Ahem."

Gandalf refusing the Ring : "Yo dude there's a whack eyeball in there!! Get that thing the hell away from me!! I am maia! Do not tempt me!! Understand Frodo, I would use this ring from the desire to do good, but through me, it would destroy universe. Hence come no closer yo!!"

Gandalf finding Sam : "Wassup yo!! What did you hear, regarding the One Ring, Saurrrrron, Morrrdorrrr, Gollum, hey?" Sam : "Thus soil I mine pants."

Sam stops on edge of corn field. Frodo : "Come on beeyach!!" Sam : "Comming sire!" with tail between legs.

Saruman meets Gandalf at steps of Orthanc : "Listen to my voiceover speech. I am maia. I have clean white attire. Hey wassup bro?" Gandalf : "I'm not your brother." Saruman : "I am maia." Gandalf : "I don't care."

Saruman explaining about Sauron to Gandalf : "yo, Sauron has regained potent wopass spirit, hence we are in kaka! Thus we must join him. Henceforth it logically follows, if we are to draw valid logical conclusions via these deductions, that Sauron is equivalent to GrandMaster Wopass."

Saruman telling about the nine leaving Mordor : "When they find the ring bearer, they will rape him"

Smirk comes across Sarumans face. Gandalf's smirk soon dissapears : "Frito!!" Saruman : "It's Frodo, fool!" Gandalf : "Yo shuddup, I'm the wisest, even though I'm wearing this dirty grey tablecloth."

Wizardly duel. Gandalf gets thrown into the wall : "Woof!" Gandalf gets sent to the top of Orthanc : "Yo negative g's!!" Saruman : "Thus open I mine can of wopass."

Sam pulling Pippen off Frodo : "Yo control yourself - there's plenty of time for that later!" Frodo smiles at Sam. Sam blushes.

Pippen seeing mushrooms : "Yo I find the good ****!!"

Frodo sensing nazgul approaching : "Hectic bru, those CGI experts pulled off some mighty kewl stuff over here, like zooming in and out at the same time, and ....."

Hobbits hiding from Nazgul, in unison : "Thus soil we our pants."

Sam calling Frodo at Ferry : "Come my love!"

Frodo asks how far to nearest crossing, Merry : "The sine of x = pi/googleplex....ah - 20 miles."

Frodo thinking of a new name when speaking to Barliman : "Ummmm.....Anderson....no....Underpants...er....Und erhill."

Sam notifying Frodo of Strider watching him the whole time : "Yo dude, that guy's staring at you, as if he has some sort of alterior sexual motive. He does look quite rugged though..." Winks at Aragorn.

Frodo : "I saw that, beeyach."

Frodo asks Barliman about Strider, Barliman : "Oh, thats our local paedophile - beware of his good looks." Secretly Barliman was under the impression that he was the only one in Aragorn's heart.

Frodo trying to stop Pippen from giving him away : "Yo fool of a Took, dumbass fool yo!!"

Frodo putting on the ring : "Whooaahh kewl CGI dudes!! Can't see much though..."

The eye : "First of all, I will speak in my natural voice, I think I will say something like 'You can't hide". Then, in order for you to soil thine pants, I will lower my voice, make it real scary and kinda nasty, and then say "I see you my pretty. Hey where'd you go?? Not so fast , please, I'm only a flaming lidless eye ya know" Frodo took the ring off too late - he had already soiled himself.

Sam bursting into the room and challenging Aragorn : "Yo I'll cut you - damn you rugged good looking son of a gun!!" Merry and Pippen nod in approval.

Nazgul discovering they had been tricked : "Righto maties next room, but first of all lets scream with a really scary voice, ok?" Rest of Nazgul, as if they were a monk choir, singing in descending octaves : "All - righty - then"

Aragorn relating history of Nazgul to hobbits : "Yo once upon a time there were nine merry kings, and they got nice pretty rings, and they lived happily ever after, until their bodies dissapeared. Now they are chained to Saurrrrrronn's evil will for eternity. They will hunt yo asses down!! I'm outtie!"

Frodo asks where Aragorn is taking them, Aragorn : "Ahh shuddup and do as I say beeyach. Frodo under his breath : "Whore."

Pippen asking about mealtimes, Aragorn : "Yo pig, you already ate, shuddup and do as I say beeeyach. I am Dunedan!"

Sauron giving Saruman his orders : "Howzit Curumo old friend?? Long time no chat. OK now shuddup, and listen to my hectic, low and scary voice. I will say the following "Build me an army worthy of the", and when I end off the sentence, I will say something that specifically those who are watching Fellowship in AVI format with pathetic sound cards won't be able to hear. The best some will hear is something like "undawned", while others will hear "underworld". This is GrandMaster Wopass over and out. PS cut those nails dude."

Saruman to his little minion orcs : "Yo you guys were definitely not blessed with beauty." He says this while clipping his nails. The orcs look at the nails as they fall one by one onto the ground. They lick their lips.

[LuthienTinuviel]

well, anduril.
that was..

er... interesting.

[Play Girl]

wow that post kicked some serious but man! better get the rest of the felloship down or I am gonna come over there and open a six pack of GrandMaster Woopass on you beeyatch!
yo
Play Girl in da house

[eowyn144]

anduril?what is ur problem?those were just weird.some of us still have very young naive minds u know.:mad:

[samwise of the shire]

Eoywen's right. They were weird and TOTALLY out of place. Please try to be considerate of the fact that not all of us here are adults or kids in their late teens.
Thanks
Sam

[Rána Eressëa]

Um...no, that was just extremely weird. And not actually funny either. Except for the Nazgul ones :)

[FrodoFriend]

What's with all the "yo"ing? That didn't make any sense. :confused:

[afro-elf]

Anduril


Being a Tolkien and Wuxia fan I thought Grandmaster Whoop Ass was great.

This is not a purtian board, though some may think it is, so please don't be afraid to keep up the irreverence.

[Glorious Glorfindel]

funny in a demented kinda way u know anduril!
way beyond weird, ludicrously so!!!

[Andúril]

Gandalf stuck on top of Orthanc : "Yo Curumo!! I'll wop yo ass when I get back down there yo! <Whispers repeatedly to himself> : "I am maia. I am maia..."

Aragorn talking about Amon-sul : "Good. We'll stay here tonight, because when you guys make a fire the Nazgul will see it, and attack us. Then we can act surprised. But just remember, you guys are running out of pants..."

Merry looking at the sword Aragorn gives him : "I am Meriadoc."

Frodo wakes up and sees fire : "Yo fools!!! Put out that fire dumbasses!! You'll just attract our foes!!" Merry : "So? I am Meriadoc. Look at my sword, so long and hard." Sam : "Put that away!" He was jealous, yet surprised. He had never seen Merry's sword before. Frodo caught Sam looking at Merry's sword, and threw a rock at him. The rock bounces off Sam's head and then suddenly Aragorn pounces out from behind a boulder and hits the rock with his sword (just like at the end of the movie when Scary Orc throws knife at him...). What Aragorn was doing behind that boulder, we will never know. However, this time he misjudges the rock and it hits him on the nose, breaking it. Aragorn (eyes watering) : "You know <sniff>, you didn't have to go and do that." At this point his voice becomes unstable, and he begins to cry. Pippen comforts Aragorn, with his hands around hs shoulders, also rubbing his back : "There there, son. Ya know, they don't call me Pippen for nothing." Aragorn's tears dissolve into a gleeful smile. All cheer :"Hooray!!" Frodo never forgot Sam's wandering eyes that day...

Nazgul arrive at Amon-sul, Aragorn : "What the?? How did they know we'd be here??" He says this in all honesty.

Hobbits back-to-back awaiting Nazgul : "OK. Lets all huddle nice and close together....er...so we can get....warm." Sam wanted to huddle close to Mr Frodo, but son of Drogo was still upset.

Nazgul approaching huddled Hobbits : Never has there been such a mass pants-spoiling in the history of Middle-earth.

Nazgul drawing sword : "Damn. I forgot that I don't have a reflection." He holds the sword up to his face anyway. All nine begin chanting in their monk-choir manner, but this time it is not a merry sound. This time it is kinda scary, with a hint of terror.

Frodo putting on the Ring : "Yo what happened to your face dude? Now I know why you guys wear those hoods all over the place. Damn thats nasty. All wrinkled and all. I think you need some sun. I mean, look at me. Am I not the prettiest thing you have every seen?" Witch King : 0111001001001010101="Bakshi...Guru..."

Aragorn jumps into the fray : "Hang on, son." Seeing as his nose is broken, his voice has now changed to that of one who has a broken nose. Pippen can't help but laugh. Aragorn : "I am Dunedan." Hits one Nazgul. "I am Dunedan" Hits another Nazgul. Pippen is rolling on the floor laughing. Frodo, although in immense pain, starts laughing too. Aragorn, as he is smashing another Nazgul : "Hey guys, whats so funny?" Turns around and pins last Nazgul to the ground : "...eight...nine...ten...AHA!! You lose sucka!! In your face!! I am Dunedan, hear me? I. Am. Dunedan!!!" All hobbits simultaneously pack up laughing. Aragorn sees the humourous side, and not wanting to leave anybody out, starts to tickle the Ringwraith. That was an experience none of them would ever forget, to the end of their days.

Aragorn tending to Frodo : "He has been stabbed by a Morgul blade. Those blades are really cool. I wish I had one of these" He looks at the Morgul blade, but it dissapears. "See! Didn't I say these were cool?" He was looking over his shoulder, at Pippen, when he said this. Pippen smiles. Frodo : "I'm like kinda dying here, so get yo stank body off me!" Aragorn realizes he was lying on top of Frodo. Thats why Pippen was smiling. Luckily for Aragorn, Sam was playing Hide-and-Seek with himself, counting with his eyes closed, behind a boulder. If he had seen what Aragorn was doing, he would have used his can-opener. You know, so he could open up his can of woppass. You know exactly what I'm talking about...

Gandalf talking to moth : "k...ku..ko..kd.fd.k", translated : "Yo, wassup homie? Please could you tell that bigass eagle in the mountains over there where I am. I have decided that I will leave now." Moth : "...kk..f....k.f..s..kj..k", translated : "...kk..f....k.f..s..kj..k" Gandalf : "What the **** you saying beeyach??" Moth : "I'm saying ...kk..f....k.f..s..kj..k" Gandalf : "Oh I see. I am Maia." Moth : "Yeah yeah we all know. Get over it."

Aragorn asking Sam about Kingsfoil : "Yo dwog, can I score some of your good ****?? Not that pathetic stuff you gave me last time." Sam : "Sorry bout that homie. You know, the quality has been going downhill for ages."

Arwen finding Aragorn : "what is this? A ranger taking a dump?" Aragorn : "Howzit babes!! Umm, don't tell the others, I sorta soiled myself earlier on." He cast his mind back to his fight against the Nazgul. But he must look like a manly hero, so that later he can score with Arwen. "Actually, it happened while I was tickling one of them black riders. That was damn funny, I couldn't contain myself." Arwen, her facial expression changing from anger and outrage, to a smirk : "Oh in that case it was warranted." She never asked him why he was tickling the black rider. I think such things were beneath her.

Frodo seeing Arwen for the first time : "My eyes!!! Fools! My eyes!!! Beeyach, be a little considerate, will you? Stank elf." Arwen : "I am really old, yet I have hardly any wrinkles." Frodo : "What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Aragorn, pulling up his pants around the corner, lets out a laugh. Arwen gives Pippen a death stare. Pippen : "What?? I didn't do nothing. Jeeeez." Arwen, squinting her eyes : "Sorry. My, what a hunk" Aragorn is confused. Very confused. Merry jumps out from behind a nearby tree : "Aha! But you've never seen one like this before!" He unsheathes his sword. Frodo : "Actually, I see a few wrinkles under your left eyeball."

[FrodoFriend]

HEY! Could you stop already? You're supposed to show what the characters were thinking, not change their actions.

All your "jokes" are the same thing repeated over and over, and they weren't funny to begin with. Now would you please stop?!

[Evenstar]

Hear hear!! :D :D

[markedel]

You should work on a tolkien parody-if done well they are funny, even if yours will not rank with say bored of the rings.

[Andúril]

Please try to be considerate of the fact that not all of us here are adults or kids in their late teens.So Samwise, what in your opinion is the average age of the posters here??

I need an indication in order to calculate the amount of ludeness magically (or artfully, depending on your point of reference) inserted into my posts.

Thanks. Bye bye now.

[Rána Eressëa]

Legolas: [fighting off Orcs] *thinking* Everybody is Kung Fu fighting! WAH! This elf is fast as lightening! YAH!

[Halley_Brandybuck]

LOL!!!

[Arathorn]

Originally posted by Rogue Elf
Legolas: [fighting off Orcs] *thinking* Everybody is Kung Fu fighting! WAH! This elf is fast as lightening! YAH!

A cute one R. Elf (I think I shall use R. from now on -- am confused if it is really Rogue or Rouge).

Wow my first post here in 2 weeks! Anyway...

Gimli looking at Legolas after Aragorn asks them to "hunt some orc": "YES!" *thinking* Oh yeah, it's my line!

[Evenstar]

After Frodo was ill...and the hoobits are hugging each other!!!
Pippin: *thinking* MY PIPEWEED...MY PIPEWEED!!!!
Merry: *thinking* HIS PIPEWEED...HIS PIPEWEED!!!
Sam: *thinking* The ring...my precioussss...hehe...my prrreccioussss!!!
Frodo *thinking* they love me..they really love me!!!

[Rána Eressëa]

Originally posted by Arathorn


A cute one R. Elf (I think I shall use R. from now on -- am confused if it is really Rogue or Rouge).

It's Rogue. "Rouge" is the typo.

[Arathorn]

Originally posted by Rogue Elf


It's Rogue. "Rouge" is the typo.

OK Rogue Elf I'm so sorry for the typo. I'm sorry for everything:( :( *cries shamelessly like Bilbo* (A pm about what the "waterfalls" means might make the tears stop)

[Comic Book Guy]

I believe the 'Waterfall' has something to do with a dream a member called FrodoFriend had, apparently she dreamt she had a dream that she met with Elijah Wood at a waterfall.

[FrodoFriend]

I didn't really dream that! At least, not while I was asleep.

[Rána Eressëa]

Aragorn: [looking for athelas] *thinking* Where's The Last Quality Music House when you need it?

Elrond: "You are the Fellowship of the Ring!" [looking really pleased with himself] *thinking* Now, where's my Spoon at...?

Frodo: [seeing the Eye] *thinking* AHH!!! MARTHA STEWART!!!

Sam: [looking from the edge of the cliff at the end of the movie] *thinking* Is this the cliff Rogue Elf and Elijah fell over?

Frodo: [looking from the same spot] *thinking* NO!!! Not this cliff again!!!

[FrodoFriend]

Balrog: *roars and spreads huge, very obvious wings* Heh. This'll get all those Tolkienites riled up.

[Rána Eressëa]

LOL! Good one, FF :D

[Arathorn]

Galadriel in the beginning: "The world is changing..."*thinking* And so is the plot...
"I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, I smell it in the air..."*thinking* Not to mention my lines..<sigh>

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

LOL. Arathorn, that's good. :)
Galadriel: I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth *thinking: I feel I am saying Treebeard's line.*

Okay, not very original, but just to continue what Arathorn started. . .

[bropous]

Elrond: Men?! Men are weak. {I hope no one remembers me in drag in Priscilla Queen of the Desert while I'm being butch!}

Elrond: You are called here to face the thrreat of Morrdorrr. {I said that sooooooooo cool!}

Gandalf: Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand, Frodo. {Sauron has it right. Pity makes life more difficult.}

Saruman: Your love for the Halflings' leaf has clearly slowed your mind... {Gandalf thinks: And your love for Isengard wine has clearly slowed your liver....}

Saruman: We must join with Sauron. {{Gandalf thinks: Sauron! That punk? Foo' still owe me twelve dollas!}

Gandalf dancing at Bilbo's Birthday Party: {I dunno, a couple more mugs of wine and these hobbit girls are going to get real cute.....}

Bilbo: "Mithril! Take it! Take it! As light as a feather, and as hard as dragon scales!" {[I]Frodo thinks: And as smelly as a Dwarf's armpits! Why didn't he wash this thing? It's still got goblin and warg guts on it!}

[Earniel]

Luckily you don't need much air to type, I'll be needing oxygen soon....

Saruman: The hour is later than you think..
Gandalf*Oh No, don't tell me I missed Buffy the vampire slayer!

Galadriel: He has fallen into shadow....
thinking* that'll teach him to nick one of my dresses! Seriously...

Balrog rises from the fire, sees Gandalf, starts chasing him thinking * It's was you wasn't it? You're the one that called my momma a winged balrog!*

Legolas: It's not the eastern shore that worries me
thinking * Those EW-fans are everywhere, I hope there are some of me too.. Oh better go comb my hair then...

[FrodoFriend]

Legolas: A shadow and a threat is growing in my mind.
Thinking: More importantly, I think I'm growing nose hair! Ahh! Where are my toenail scissors?

Legolas: And you have my bow!
Thinking: Beep beep. Identify target. May be prettier than me. Must keep an eye on. Over and out.

Elrond: Welcome to Rivendell, Frodo Baggins.
Frodo: *thinking* Thank Eru! At least it's not Arwen!

[Arathorn]

Galadriel: "In place of a dark lord you shall have a queen!...I've passed the test. I shall move on to the West and remain Galadriel"
Frodo: *thinking* That's it, I'm not talking to girls at 3 am. :eek: :confused:

[frodosgirlfriend]

when frodo is walking to the mirror of galadriel and the camera focoses on his feet
Frodo: I wonder how many other people put rogane on thier feet. I still look good right? if I'm not perfect i hope I'm atleast better than Legolas.

in the beganing of the movie when frodo and gandalf r still on the cart
Frodo: I'm glad your back gandalf *was ur nose always that big*
Gandalf: so am i dear boy, so am I. *I shouldn't of come here. the hobbits r already really bugging me. i should of only settled for 20 lb. of pipe weed from bilbo 10 lb. is not enough for this

in moria when gandalf is about to fall of the bridge
Gandalf: Fly u fools *i shold of told bilbo to give me 30 lb. of pipe weed. this is not fair*

[Cirdan]

LOL
Outtakes pArt1:

At Rivendell:
Frodo: Where were you Gandalf?
Gandalf: I had to get a new magic staff. You think these things grow on trees!!!
CUT!!!

Later:
Elrond: Goodbye.... Mr. Underhill
Frodo: My name is... FRODO!
CUT!!!

In Moria:

(Fellowship is surrounded by Orcs)
Gandalf (sings): It rainin' Orcs, halleuluah, it's rainin' Orcs!
CUT!!!

In Orthanc:
Saruman: That's funny. The last time I looked into the palantir the eye wasn't brown. Hey, anybody see an old guy dressed all in grey... beard down to here... he was just here a minute ago. (slips in eagle dropppings)
CUT!!!

Barad Dur:
Sauron: I wonder in I should put a few Orcs around the Cracks of Doom... just in case. NAHHH

[Evenstar]

Gandalf: Fly you fools!!!
Frodo: *we can't fly Gandalf...we don't have wings* *to the others* *poor guy...I think he's a little confused!!!*
Pippin *hehe...Gandalfs stoned!!!*

[Agburanar]

Tee Hee, splendid!

[Shelob]

Frodo, when being stabbed by the cave troll.
*thinking* I know I'm alright but I think I'll milk it for a bit.

Gollum, when he told the orcs where the rings was.
*thinking* Enough already!!!

Everybody, when they got out of Moria.
*thinking* AAAAgghh! It's bright!

Boromir, when he had to give Frodo the ring back
*thinking* I care a lot!!!

Sam and Frodo at the end.
*thinking* A whole year to wait, aaagghh!!!

[Agburanar]

Aragorn "Let's hunt Orc"
Thinking: "We've got to run for a whole year? Noooo!"

[Arathorn]

In the beginning...
Galadriel:"The world is changing..."
"I feel it in the waters..."
"I feel it in the earth..."
"Three rings were given to the elves..."
*Thinking* Hey, That's prom night! Where'd they get the tape? :o :rolleyes:

[Arathorn]

This thread's getting bumped up after a 2 month hiatus....

~~~~~~~~~~

Sauron: "I see you...."
*thinking*All your base are belong to us!
*Frodo faints*
*thinking* Someone set up us the bomb!

[Lizra]

Frodo, staring at the ring at Elronds council.....G** D**n voices, I hate you, I hate you, SHUT UP!

Gandalf, when Frodo says "You're late!"...I should have used fixodent.

hunchback orc when Saruman tells him to bring all the trees down........Right, with ropes! Who's dumb enough to believe that?

[FrodoFriend]

Orc: What new from Mordor, my lord? What does the Eye command?
Thinking: I wonder if he'll notice my new ear piercing . . . ?

Saruman closing all the doors in Isengard as Gandalf tries to escape.
Thinking: Ogle to the left . . . ogle to the right . . .

[cassiopeia]

This is an old thread and I can't remember what people have said, so sorry if someone has done this one already.

At Lothlorien where Galadriel is probing Sam's mind.
Galadriel: Oh Eru, Sam shouldn't be thinking those kind of things about his master. But there are some good ideas for Gimli and me in his thoughts.

:D

[Aragorn_iz_cool]

Stridel/Aragorn/Viggo: Are you Scared?
Thinking*My nose hurts*

Apparently Viggo Banged his nose on a door but continued filiming.

[cassiopeia]

Oh no, not the face!:) I think he got some other injuries during filming too.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

He got his teeth knocked out while filming a sword fight. He asked them to glue them back in so they could finish the scene :eek:

[frodosgirlfriend]

COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D :D :D

[Starr Polish]

He also got his eye banged up badly with a surfboard before the Moria scenes, so they had to shoot him from only one side.

Sean Astin also got injured a lot...in the "i'm coming with you scene" he stepped on a sharp twig that went through the false foot. The cut bled a lot and needed stitches. He also got knocked unconcious once.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Ow! Poor hobbit. . .er, Sean Astin. . .:D

[frodosgirlfriend]

*gasp* the poor hobbit poor poor hobbit!!!!!

[Lizra]

so when he said "I'm coming with you!", he was really thinking... Ohh my foot hurts so bad, I hope I don't cry!

[Play Girl]

But he was crying...
Wait a minute! But that means he wasn't crying that Frodo was leaving without him but the fact that there was a dirty great big stick rammed through his foot. What he was really thinking was:

"I jam my foot into this stick and you think I am crying over you! Fat chance!"

luv
Play Girl
xxx

[Ërendil]

Poor Sam..er... Sean....er...whatever.

Anyhow

in the council of Elrond when the ring starts whispering;
Frodo thinking > Is that ring talking to me? I am going crazy...I knew that Pippins pipe weed would do this to me...ow my head hurts...<

[samwise of the shire]

I'm glad mine hasn't been posted...

Nazgul at the ford:(in scary voices) Give up the halfing SHE ELF!
Arwen:(Looking EXTREMLY ticked off)If you want him then COME AND CLAIM HIM!
*Nazgul move foward.Serisouly intent on poor collapsing Frodo*
Arwen:*thinking*Oh [edit] they thought I was SERIOUS. It was a BLUFF.
Frodo:eeekah*thinking* Liv you put WAY too much perfume on. I need AIR!
Arwen: No Frodo no Dont give in*thinking* Wait he's acting... right. I mean he looks REALLY sick. Is he OK? Did I do something?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh that's ont the only thing poor Sean did. He was eating lunch or something and he was sitting in front of a loom and it tipped over knocking him in the head so hard they had to take him in for a cat scan. The other hobbits would make the poor guy jump by shouting "LOOM!" every time he walked past.
And the hobbit feet caused ALOT of trouble. Ian Hom couldn't get used to them and he kept on tripping. Ian McKellen kept on tripping over the hobbits feet too. And they kept on falling off while the poor lads were running from orcs. And they kept things cold, so if the hobbits stood in snow or cold water too long their actual feet got so cold they had to thaw out in wahing machienes. They sound like they had so much FUN. I'm serious. I REALLY want to try that out. I mean the feet and everythin'
Sam

[Nienna Grey]

At the Council of Elrond when Frodo says "I will take the Ring to Mordor"

really thinking: "OMG, did I really just say that?"

[The Ringbearer]

I tried to post last night but my post does not seem to be here, so I'm posting again(don't kill me if it IS here somewhere).

Strider is carrying Frodo after Weathertop:
Frodo:Gandalf!*thinking*If I don't die,I'm going to get him, Istari or not! HE'S the one who sent me....

Arwen at the fords:
If you want him, come and claim him!
They advance.
Arwen:*thinking*Ohhhhhh. Wait. Elrond said they can't SEE, not HEAR. Oops.

Frodo and Sam in the Tower of Cirith Ungol:
Sam:I couldn't find you.
Frodo:Well you have now Sam, dear Sam.*thinking*Maybe if I get sentimental too, he'll remember that I'd like some clothes....

[Lizra]

I could have sworn I posted this much earlier in the day!!!

Boromir, to Aragorn, clearly very upset after seeing Galadriel......If only I could have had the time to wash my hair!

[Lanelf]

Argh! Poor li'l hobbitses! And Viggo. And the other people that were injured in the line of duty;) .

Just imagine, in RotK with all those battles, people yelling around because they got hurt before filming!
Lanelf

[Ërendil]

Pippin: anyway you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission...quest...thing
Thinks > why am i always the one who has to say stupid things?
Merry: Well that rules youout pip
Thinks > Why do i always have to answer to his stupid sayings>
Pippin: right...where are we going?
Thinks > No! Not again. I am never gonna live this one down...

[Arathorn]

Galadriel near the Mirror: "In place of a Dark Lord you shall have a QUEEEN!..."

*thinking* I sense much fear in you...

Frodo: <petrified>

*thinking* "I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

[Lollypopgurl]

Aragorn when Arwen gives him her necklace
*Great, now I have to wear this*

[Earniel]

Going further on Lollypopgurl's post:

Aragorn says: You can't give me this.
Aragorn thinks: Yeah, keep it! It's a girly thing!

[Linarryl]

Gandalf: Fly you fools!
Thinking: Why don't one of you hurry and help me up instead of standing there watching me!*grumbles*
OR
Thinking: Geez I culd have been a headmaster at a wizardry school, but NO I had to be a helpless wizard who his friends just watch him die.

[durin's bane]

Aragorn: They are the Nazgul...the Ringwraiths...
<Thinking: My underpants are falling down.>
OR
<Thinking: I hope this comes out right. I never paid attention in class. Maybe it was the gum under the desk, or maybe it was the thought of recess. Or maybe because I was staring at Arwen half the time. I remember recess. I was the best soccer goalie out there. Nobody could get passed me. I think I remember the colour of pencil I had. Was it green? No...it was red with yellow dots. Or maybe it was a No.2...>

[Lollypopgurl]

Sam at the council: Mushrooms.......

In Rivendell in the 'romantic scence'~
Arwen: Do you remember what I said?
Aragorn [thinking]: Here we go again....

[Arathorn]

Gimli: "Dwarf women resemble dwarf men so closely that people have the impression that there are no dwarf women."

Aragorn to Eowyn: <whispering> "It's the beards..."

Eowyn: <Laughs> *thinking* Oh dear, did I shave this morning?

[Blackboar]

lol

Frodo:Bilbo, BILBO!! (To Gandalf) He's gone hasn't he!!
Thinkin<EVENTUALLY, th old hobbit smell in here was driving me MAD!!>

(I know I'm not very good at this;) )

[cassiopeia]

Frodo: We are hobbits of the Shire. Frodo Baggins is my name and this is Samwise Gamgee.
Faramir: Your bodyguard?
Sam: His gardener.
Faramir:<thinking>So thats whats it's called these days.

Legolas to Aragorn at Helm's Deep: You look terrible.
Aragorn:<thinking> Shut up, pretty boy!

[Lanelf]

Hee hee hee...
Gimli: *to Eowyn* Aragorn has fallen.
Thinking: Wait a second - that's what they said about Gandalf too...:rolleyes: He's not dead!

Smeagol: *eating raw fish*
Thinking: Eeeeewwwww!
Lanelf.

[Adrian Baggins]

Originally posted by KGamgee
I didn't have a problem with the "girly boy" but Sean Astin is a heck of a lot hotter...but he doesn't act like it as Sam....he's just so perfect......

Sean did too so act like Sam. Have you watched the cast stuff from the extended version. If so then that comment was extemely useless because Sean was Sam off set and on. So says thesection called Fellowship of the Cast in the extended version disk four. Now getting back to the note on which you made the comment about him being hot, he can be as hot as he wants but he is still unavailable. He is married with a daughter you know. Man they loved their work, they hate doing the cast commentary for the movie cause they actually had to talk during the movie. They, especially EJW, were constintally saying they didn't want to talk it was just so captivating. Their fave. line in the movie is: ....Buckleberry Ferry.

Now as for what were they thinking:

Merry and Pippin: Hey Ho to the bottle I go,
To heal my heart and drown my woe.
Rain may fall and wind may blow,
And there still be many miles to go.
Sweet is the sound of the falling rain,
And the brook that leaps from hill to plain.
Better then rain or ripplin' brook,
Is a mug of beer can save this Took!

Dom and Billy are thinking while singing: Look lets just combine the bath song with this one and it should work.

[Nurvingiel]

Super hilarious everyone!

Scene: The Excorcism of Theoden

Gandalf (casts aside his cloak, revealing that he is now Gandalf the White. A blinding white light issues forth.)

Saruman, through Theoden says: Aaaaaaugh!!!
If I leave, Theoden dies!

Saruman, through Theoden thinks: Gandalf is flashing me! Aaaugh my eyes!!! You can have him, Gandalf, but his weak old heart will probably give out with you flashing him!


Gandalf says: Behold, I am Gandalf the White

Gandalf thinks: Let's go streaking!


If I overdid it, sorry, but I hate this scene and now I'm not bitter anymore. ;)

[cassiopeia]

I'm in a silly mood so here goes:

Sam: Uh! What's that horrid stink? I wonder if there's a nasty bog nearby. Can you smell it?

Frodo: Yes, I can smell it. <thinking> Shouldn't have let that one off.


:D

[Nurvingiel]

LOL cassiopeia!! :D To continue your funny theme...

Sam: Uh! What's that horrid stink? I wonder if there's a nasty bog nearby. Can you smell it?

Frodo (thinks): You smelt it you dealt it Sam!

[Evenstar]

Legolas: 'You're late'

Aragorn: *thinking* I'm fine, thanks for asking.


(Aragorn when he falls off the cliff) 'Hang on. Is this meant to happen?'

[eowyngirl14]

what is this alleged 'bath song' everyone is making such a fus about?

[cassiopeia]

Originally posted by eowyngirl14
what is this alleged 'bath song' everyone is making such a fus about?
I think it refers to the bath song the hobbits sing at Crickhollow in the FOTR.

[Nurvingiel]

It's in FOTR book, when Merry, Pippin, Sam and Frodo meet up with their friend Fatty Bolger. Pippin sings the bath song and makes a huge mess.

[eowyngirl14]

Okay going to go look that up... Is this it?


Sing Hey! For the bath at close of day
that washes the weary mud away!
A loon is he that will not sing:
O! Water Hot is a noble thing!

O! Sweet is the sound of falling rain,
and the brook that leaps from to plain;
but better than rain or rippling streams
is Water Hot that smokes and steams.

O! Water cold we may pour at need
down a thirsty throat and be glad indeed;
but better is beer, if drink we lack
and Water Hot poured down the back.

O! Water is fair that leaps on high
in a fountain white beneath the sky;
but never did fountain sound so sweet
as splashing Hot Water with my feet!

:) :D :cool: ;) :p

[Elfhelm]

Sam: By rights, Mister Frodo, we shouldn't even be here.
*thinking* I hope that appeases the ones who read the book.

Sam: Hey Stinker! Where are you going!?
*thinking* Just go! And don't come back!
Frodo: Why do you call him names like that.
*thinking* After all, you are the one who passed gas in Emyn Muil.

[Nurvingiel]

Yes indeedee eowyngirl14, it's the fountain part in the last verse that got Pippin in trouble! Anyway...

(The scene, in the movie, where Treebeard is holding Merry and Pippin and thinks they're little orcs.)

Pippin (says): Don't talk to it Merry, you'll enrourage it!
Pippin (thinks): Maybe it's a bad idea to talk about it as if it's stupid, on the off-chance it understands me and crushes me like a bug.

[legolasluvr2931]

In the Council of Elrond when Gimli says "... And my axe." Legolas looks like "oh great!" i thought that was funny and when Merry and Pippin come out and say that they were going too, Elrond looks as if he could kill someone. he always has this look on his face and it drives me nuts! he looks so mean!

[azalea]

This may have been done already, and it's a little obscure, but here goes:

Playing in Frodo's head when Arwen walks toward him after he's gotten his Morgul Wound:

"Oooo, Dreamweaver, I believe you can get me through the ni-iight..."

[Arcala]

These are really funny everyone!! I wish I could come up with things like this!!

:) :) :)

[Arathorn]

Galadriel when Frodo recoils from the Mirror: "I know what it is you see, for it is also in my mind..."
*thinking* YUCK!

[Iron McFist]

This has probably been posted.. but..

(*When Sam runs in during the Council of Elrond*)
Elrond: ... when he is invited to a secret council, and you are not.
Sam: *thinking* Jesus, dude. You're in the open, you've got elves, dwarves and men arguing about jewelry, what do you expect?

[Legolaslvr!]

This has probably been posted already but when Aragorn met Eowyn in the TTT he was probably thinkin'.......


OH!!!!! She's Hot!!!!!! Oh yeah I already have a Girlfriend Arwen. But Eowyn is much cuter!!!!!;) ;)

[Elfhelm]

When we were watching it Saturday night, I wanted to come up with one for this classic responding look.

Boromir: By our blood are your people kept safe.
(cut to Aragorn looking skeptical)
Aragorn thinks *Sure, and we rangers have just been having a tea party up here in the north.*

or Aragorn thinks *That might have actually carried water if PJ hadn't moved the attack on Osgiliath to the next movie!*

[Arcala]

Okay, here goes nothing.

(At the council of Elrond)
Gimli says : And my axe!
Legolas thinks: What's left of it....

:)

[Lanelf]

Originally posted by Arathorn
Galadriel when Frodo recoils from the Mirror: "I know what it is you see, for it is also in my mind..."
*thinking* YUCK!
You bet - have a bird bath like that in the open, I hate to think what's lying in the bottom of it...:p
Lanelf.

[Arathorn]

Gollum/Smeagol while debating with himself: "You're a liar and a Thief! Not listening...Murderer!..."

*thinking* Heysa! What yousa arguing about? Yousa have room for another personality like meesa? Just asking...:rolleyes: Frodo Baggins MUST NOT go to Mordor...or he will be in GRAVE DANGER! Ooops wrong body...

[samwise of the shire]

Gollum and Sam at the camp fire in Ithilien:
Gollum: "Give it to us raw and still WRRRIGGGLING"
Sam: *thinking* Dad he's picking on me again

Aragorn tracking the hobbits: *thinking* Time for some Guess work.
Aragorn getting dragged along by the warg: *Thinking* Last time I wear jewelry to war.
Legolas in Fangorn with Aragorn and Gimli: The white wizard draws near *thinking*"Why isn't my evil radar going haywire?"

[eowyngirl14]

That's really REALLY funny Arathorn and Samwise!:) :)

[FrodoFriend]

I can't believe this thread is still running!!! But after all we have new brain fodder now.

Okay, my quotes will not be exact because I've only seen the movie once so far and in Hungarian, so I kinda have to make general translations....

Gollum - 'Don't follow the light!'
Frodo staring into pool at dead face - 'Damn, where'd he get that nice shirt? I want one of those!'

[FrodoFriend]

Harad soldier staring at camouflaged Frodo and Sam - 'Orcs've been having styrofoamball fights again...'

Frodo holding sword to Sam's throat - 'Just let me get that fly off your collar...'

Aragorn getting licked by horse - 'Phew! For a moment I thought it really WAS Arwen! Thank Eru!'

[samwise of the shire]

Gollum pulling Frodo out of the Dead Marshes: Do not follow the lights. *thinking* Sam...dang you. Now when we REALLY need it to keep ahold of people your rope is down at the bottom of your pack.
Gollum thwacking fish on rock in forbidden pool: Fish:*thinking* Ow ow ow ow. Sotshire in audience:*thinking* I thought you didn't LIKE fish patties

[Evenstar1400]

At council of elrond:

Borimir: .... by the blood of my people, your lands kept safe!
Thinking: fangirls are gonna dig this speech

Battle of Helms Deep:

Haldir: GASP GASP GASP BREATHE GASP (as he gets stabbed)
Thinking: somebody get this @$&@*(! axe out of my back!

As uruk hai is running with torch:
audience thinks: ooh its an olympic torch runner! or... wait a minute... then again... hes probibly gonna blow up the wall, isnt he?
uruk hai mother thinks: i thought i told him not to run with a torch in his hand?

As uruk hai are climbing ladders that are attached by rope to wall:
Thinking: i'm suprised those idiots havent thought of cutting the ropes yet!

As gimli jumps off the wall onto the uruk hai:
Gimli thinks: WEEEEEEEEEE LETS DO THAT AGAIN!!!
Audience thinks: what he doin that for? hes gonna get killed!

As Gandalf/reinforcements ride down the hill:
Uruk hai think: we're all gonna die!
Horses think: CANT STOP! GOING TO FAST!
Audience thinks: arent the horses gonna get stabbed by those long pointy spears?
Aragorn thinks: must do something impressive to get attention back on me
Legolas thinks: must do something more impressive than aragorn to impress fangirls
Gimli thinks: how much longer do i have to blow this horn?
Innocent people of rohan think: can you keep the racket down? we're trying to sleep!
Audience thinks: they're safe! they wont die! hey........ nice touch with the rise in the score as they ride down the mountainside!

more will come!

[FrodoFriend]

Uruk'hai running with torch: Just wait 'til I show the guys my new lava lamp!

Saruman after Isengard gets flooded: OK, who left the tap running again??

Frodo falling into water in Dead Marshes: I left my contact lens down here somewhere . . .

Ring, while Frodo is petting it: Heh heh, I bet the fan girls are envying me now...

[eowyngirl14]

In respinse to FrodoFriend's last entry...

Boromir while he is dying and Aragorn is kissing his brow... *I bet all the fangirls are drooling right about now!*

[Elfhelm]

Elfboy as he snowboards down the steps at Helm's Deep.
*I wish I could do a rail slide. Don't Rohiirim uses railings or what!?*

[Tinuviel sings again]

These are some of the funniest things that I've ever read concerning LoTR- keep it up! :)

[Elf Girl]

As Gandalf rides down the hill: *thinking* Why am I hitting people with my staff? Surely there's a better use for it than that.

[Adrian Baggins]

*Adrian rides on wolf down Mt. Doom* Knew my wolf would come in handy, stupid brother didn't think to bring his. Oh well, he deserves to get killed after the prank he pulled last night.

Frodo's prank:

Hey, Adi, look at this.*points off into distance* Gotcha.

*hits bro in head* Stupid brother.

[LuthienTinuviel]

Uruk'hai running with torch: Just wait 'til I show the guys my new lava lamp!


hahahah! that's awesome!

legolas in the helm's deep tower: haha the Uruks are coming to destroy men.. glad im an elf, too bad im surrounded by all these... oh. bugger...

yea, that's terrible, i had some more, but now i can't think of them.

[Agburanar]

Aragorn falling off a cliff: "I didn't bargain for this when I read the book!"

[FrodoFriend]

Frodo making a funny face while trying to resist the call of the Ring: I knew there was a drawback to lembas... constipation, urgh...

Frodo: And Frodo wouldn't have gotten very far without Sam, would he?
-thinking- : Damn right... who else would've distracted the Orcs for me?

Grima, with tear running down his cheek at the sight of Saruman's army: And I thought I was ugly!

Legolas: Do want me to tell you, or should I look for a box?
-thinking- : Please say the box ... please say the box...

[Gwaimir Windgem]

LOL, Abguranar! :D Most amusing!

[LuthienTinuviel]

Gandalf after aragorn says his name
"gandalf, yes, i was once called that. Gandalf the grey, that is my name" o O (ho ho ho to the funny farm i go!)

im sorry, but his face just reeks of "insane old woman with 43 cats"

leggy after almost falling
"haha glad they weren't filmi- dang it!"

[Adrian Baggins]

Frodo at end of FotR: Well, I don't suppose we'll ever see them again.
Thinking: What am I saying, they're standing righ behind Peter, I hate this line, it's so hard to say this early in the shooting, I can't even fee the emotion I need.

Sam: We may Mr. Frodo, we may. Strider'll take good care of 'em.
Thinking: Yah, we might even see them as soon as this scene is over. He'll take good care of them, like he does his son, oh dang it, I didn't tell him his son fell off the cliff this morning, private joke and snigger.

[cassiopeia]

Sorry if anybody has done this already!

Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam?
Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.
Frodo: <thinking> Why didn't he say each other! Drat that hussy barmaid!


:D

[Agburanar]

The Ringwraiths at Weathertop:

Thinks: "The pay's much better than 'Day of the Living dead', shame the roles are the same, I was hoping for something that would challenge my career and gain me world renown."

[FrodoFriend]

Ringwraiths at Weathertop: Hi, we're looking for the Morgul Blade Wielders Convention...

Arwen, watching dead Aragorn turn to stone: Funny, I didn't know he was part troll.

Theoden: Who am I?
Servant guy: And old loony in a nightgow... errr, the King of Rohan!!

Legolas jumping on Gimli's horse in interesting manner: And this is a little thing I call the 'Oooh Enducing' maneuver...

[Agburanar]

The Balrog (what he was really saying before they put the roaring etc. on)

"I am the fiery goat of Antioch, hear me roar! Cup of tea anyone? Spiffing. Bit hot in here, someone turn the heating down. [Belch] oops, pardon. Little too much gas, shouldn't have eaten that troll for breakfast. Ciao!"

[The Lady of the Wood]

ha ha ha thats funny!!!! :D

[The Lady of the Wood]

Grima, with tear running down his cheek at the sight of Saruman's army: And I thought I was ugly!








ha ha ha thats even funnier!

[Elfhelm]

The Rohirrim people: Hail King Theoden!
Theoden watches each kneel then turns to glare at Aragorn.
Aragorn finally kneels, too.
Theoden thinks *that's right, upstart, you aren't King yet, and this is MY LAND!*

[straight_face]

"Funny Things Happen" (written by myself a long time ago... seems appropriate for this topic)
A NAzgul closely pursues Frodo until Frodo jumps onto the raft. Nazgul stops, turns, and confronts another passing Nazgul.
Nazgul #1: We can't win, can we?
Nazgul #2: No we can't. How about we harass Tom Bombadil?
Nazgul #1: Sounds like a plan. (Both head off in the opposite direction of the others.

In Bree, Frodo breaks from his trance when he hears the name "Baggins".
Pippin: Sure I know a Baggins! He's over there! Frodo Baggins! He's my second cousin, once removed on his mother's side. Then there's this ring that he has, called the Ring of Power, and it has the ability to control everyone in Middle-earth, and almost everyone wants it because it's the most valuable thing in this world, you know.
The ruffians take one look at Frodo and pounce on him.

The hobbits sleep in Bree while Aragorn watches for danger. Pippin wakes, rubbing his forehead.
Pippin: Could I have some Tylenol?
Aragorn: No.
Pippin: How 'bout a glass of water?
Aragorn: No.
Pippin: A fluffier pillow?
Aragorn: NO.
Pippin: A piece of bread?
Aragorn: NO!
Both fall silent.
Pippin: (quieter) A pinch of ale?
Aragorn takes Pippin, opens his window, and throws him out to the bloodthirsty NAzgul.

Arwen flees on horseback with Frodo. She crosses the river and turns back when she hears giggling from her pursuers.
Arwen: What?
Nazgul continuing giggling until Arwen realizes Frodo is gone.

The Company enters Dwarrowdelf where all stare in awe and wonder. Pippin wanders over to a gigantic pillar and discovers that there is a board supporting the pillar.
Pippin: You don't belong here, Mr. Board.
He kicks the supporting board and causes the pillars to fall like dominoes. Soon after, the Balrog, two Cave Trolls, and thousands of Orcs surround them.
Pippin: Um, er, is that Sauron up there?
Balrog, Cave Trolls, Orcs: WHAT? WHERE?

Merry and Pippin are hiding when they figure out Frodo is leaving. Both jump in front of the Uruk-hai.
Merry+Pippin: Hey! Over here!
Pippin: Now what do we do?
Merry: I don't know. What's that thing when your legs start moving really fast?
Pippin: Um...er... don't tell me. It's... oh yea! Run-
Both are immediately seized by the Uruks.

Aragorn races to Boromir to find arrows portruding from him.
Boromir: They have taken the little ones.
Aragorn: Stay still.
Boromir: Frodo, where is Frodo?
Aragorn: I let him go.
Boromir: Well, before I die, could you please tel my father, Denethor, that I died in honor?
Aragorn: (nearing tears) Yes.
Boromir: And tell my brother, Faramir, that I was the one who broke his toy sword when we were five.
Aragorn: (tears streaming down face) Yes.
Boromir: And, if you ever see Frodo again, tell him that I didn't mean to bring him harm just because I'm a strong man and he's a wimpy hobbit.
Aragorn: (bawling) Yes!
Boromir falls silent and his face is still. Aragorn continues weeping for his dead companion.
Boromir: Oh, and tell Legolas that I accidentally slep on his arrows in Lothlorien and I broke about seven.
Aragorn: What? I thought you were dead!
Boromir: Oh yea, I gues I am suppose to be. Sorry.
He falls limp.

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli stand by the shores of Anduin.
Aragorn: Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands. But we shall not betray Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while there's still hope. (pauses and smiles grimly) Let's hunt some deer.
Gimli:... what?
Aragorn: Oh, I mean, Orc.

Frodo and Sam stand upon the hill overlooking the deadly path that lies ahead of them.
Frodo: I don't suppose we'll ever see them again.
Sam: We may, Mr. Frodo. We may.
Frodo: What happens now?
Both look down to the dark bottom of the cliff, shrug, and jump off.


P.S. The other ones were good. This was exceedingly pointless, I understand.

[Coney]

:D hahahah v.good:D

[Fimbrethil]

Legolas looking at Boromir while he is dieing<thinking> I wonder if he knows I shoot him;stupid.

[Legolas_Frodo_Aragorn]

i think yours are good striaght_face

[Fimbrethil]

Legolas at Helms Deep when Aragorn returns "You look teribble."
<thinking>Yeah now there all looking at me. OK dont fall, dont fall!
Aragorn when he and Legolas are fighting "Then I will die as one of them!" <thinking>I'd rather not.
Shadowfax while he's carrying Gandalf<thinking>I wonder what happens when I do THIS!
PJ: CUT!
Gandalf: D*** that horse thats the thrid time!

[Diamond]

Haldir: Mae govannen, Legolas Thranduilion.
Legolas: Govannas vîn gwennen le, Haldir o Lórien.
What they're thinking:
Haldir: How YOU doin'?
Legolas: I need a bath.

Aragorn: This is a dream.
What he's thinking:
Aragorn: Haha, I'm gonna get LAID!

[Legolas looking at the Wargs coming over the hill]
What he's thinking:
Legolas: Feelin' lucky, punk?

[Frodo being dragged off by the Watcher outside the Mines of Moria.]
What he's thinking:
Frodo: ::sigh:: Why me?

Merry: But you're a part of this world! Aren't you?
What the Ents are thinking:
Ents: Erm... no?

Boromir: It is a gift!
What Gandalf is thinking:
Gandalf: You. Idiot.
(That might only makes sense if you have seen the EE.)

[Éowyn standing in front of the Golden Hall, watching Gandalf, Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli.]
What she's thinking:
Is that the pizza delivery guy?

Sméagol: Good Sméagol always helps!
What he's thinking:
Sméagol: And maybe I could get a pair of underpants for my trouble?

Di

[FrodoFriend]

LOL on the pizza delivery!!!

Eowyn watching Rohan's flag sail off into the wind: I TOLD Eomer not to hang his towel on the flagpole . . .

[Legolas_Frodo_Aragorn]

*sigh* wish i could think up some of these

[Elvellyn]

Arwen kissing Aragorn
Aragorn thinking: Theres about a million fangirls who would love to kill her right now.
Arwen thinking: OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!! ITS VIGGO!!!!!

[Arathorn]

Gandalf while stabbing at the Balrog as they fall into the abyss: <stab, stab, stab> *thinking* Darned tennis ball won't stay still!

Gollum after evil personality stops answering: *thinking* Er, who's line is it anyway?

Saruman after Gandalf "exorcises" him from Theoden: "Argh!!!" *thinking* Darn, I should have made that king's head spin.

Legolas after seeing Aragorn alive: "Your late...you look terrible.." *thinking* That's it, my stock just plunged 50 pts.
Aragorn: *thinking* Yeah, but why'd you have to drag mine down too!

Gimli after seeing the Deeping Wall explode: *thinking* Gah! I see Balin's craftsmanship again. How many times do I have to tell him that styro just won't do...