Orc Queen

[Twista]

Do you think there was a big Orc Queen (Like a Queen Bee) ejecting millions of orcs aday ready to be trained? lol

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Twista
Do you think there was a big Orc Queen (Like a Queen Bee) ejecting millions of orcs aday ready to be trained? lol no
where the hell would you get this idea from?

[Twista]

explain how they just appear? lol. Fair enough, out the ground, yeh, but how did 'hatch?'. And another question.. How did Sauromon breed goblins and men anyways?

[Sister Golden Hair]

You are puting entirely too much emphasis on the movies. Saruman did not breed the Orcs. They were bred by Morgoth in the First Age and Sauron bred the Uruk-hai.

[Twista]

Yes i know, Saurumon was my second question. How did he bread them? With what means? I take it he didnt have 'test tube gobblins' going about.

[Sister Golden Hair]

Originally posted by Twista
Yes i know, Saurumon was my second question. How did he bread them? With what means? I take it he didnt have 'test tube gobblins' going about. Again, Saruman did not breed the Orcs. Tolkien's original idea was Morgoth captured and tortured Elves in the First Age, and by slow cruel arts bred the race of Orcs. However, in the HoMe series, CT tells us that Orcs were bred from corrupted Men, and this was his father's final word on it. Orcs did not come from pods, or spring up out of the ground. They multiplied by the same means as Elves and Men, which was meant to be a great slap in the face to Iluvatar.

[Lefty Scaevola]

The definitive published answer is "..they mulitplied after the fashion of the children of Illuvitar". This means they had daddies, mommies, and babies, like humans and elves did.

[Sister Golden Hair]

Originally posted by Lefty Scaevola
The definitive published answer is "..they mulitplied after the fashion of the children of Illuvitar". This means they had daddies, mommies, and babies, like humans and elves did. That's what I meant.

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Twista
explain how they just appear? lol. Fair enough, out the ground, yeh, but how did 'hatch?'.
*slaps palm to forehead and grimaces*
Please, read the books... I promise you that you will experience joy beyond measure if you do so.
And another question.. How did Sauromon breed goblins and men anyways?
The same way you were bred.

[Lefty Scaevola]

Originally posted by Sister Golden Hair
That's what I meant.
X-post, I am a slow typer

[Sister Golden Hair]

Originally posted by Lefty Scaevola
X-post, I am a slow typer :D

[Nurvingiel]

An orc nuclear family... imagine the awfulness.

Shagrat's mom? *Shudders*

[Dúnedain]

Orc women are probably like Dwarf women. You never know who is who, but they are still able to get the job done! :D

[Beor]

So imagine Sauron at the baby orc nursury (i spell bad) looking at all the little baby orcs, "aw lookit the cut widdle orc! Hey, orcy, hey, its your uncle Sauron, the enemy of the free peoples of middle earth!" Turns to mother orc, "He's really cute, Griszkankshshi, you should be very proud"

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Beor
So imagine Sauron at the baby orc nursury (i spell bad) looking at all the little baby orcs, "aw lookit the cut widdle orc! Hey, orcy, hey, its your uncle Sauron, the enemy of the free peoples of middle earth!" Turns to mother orc, "He's really cute, Griszkankshshi, you should be very proud"
I do not believe that any love nor affection would be given to an Orc at any time in their lives. They knew pain, sufferring, fear and inflicting the like on others.

If I had to venture a guess, I'd say that they knew no motherly love at all, were provided the bare necessities only to allow them to live and to allow only the strong to survive. Any weakness was weaned out of them, and those that showed kindness were most likely culled.

[Melko Belcha]

Other then Tolkien says the Orcs bred after the manner of the Children of Iluvatar, you must remember that in The Hobbit and LotR it says that Bolg was the son of Azog, so Bolg had to have a mother if he was someones son.

[Twista]

Surely there must be an extensive writing about this somewhere? No one know about it?

[Valandil]

Originally posted by Ruinel
I do not believe that any love nor affection would be given to an Orc at any time in their lives. They knew pain, sufferring, fear and inflicting the like on others.

If I had to venture a guess, I'd say that they knew no motherly love at all, were provided the bare necessities only to allow them to live and to allow only the strong to survive. Any weakness was weaned out of them, and those that showed kindness were most likely culled.

Or, who knows? Maybe all the 'nice orcs' were just kept in the caves to do the 'work'... while all the 'mean orcs' joined the army, went out and killed people???:D

[Twista]

Like in the film 'Ants' lol. I liked that disney film.

[Valandil]

Originally posted by Twista
Like in the film 'Ants' lol. I liked that disney film.

Well... let's don't 'disnify' Tolkien!;) Besides, my suggestion was more light-hearted than serious.

I think there was actually a thread about whether or not orcs were redeemable (the way this thread now seems to be drifting). I guess the whole nature/nurture thing...

*hmmm... if an orc cub were raised by elves, what would he be like?*

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Originally posted by Nurvingiel
An orc nuclear family... imagine the awfulness.
_____________________________________

Given the general level of quality of American sit-coms, how about,

"What's An Orc To Do!"
Follow the wacky adventures of a single mom orc (Gabzog the Crazy, "Gabby") and her boyfriend Bill Ferny in Bree. Bill just can't get along with their cut-up hobbit next-door neighbors. And when
Gabby gets the hots for a ranger while at her job at The Prancing Pony! Well, the fun has just begun!

[Twista]

^^ not a bad idea now you mention it lol. tell me more tell me more... im gripped to the story line lol.

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Valandil
*hmmm... if an orc cub were raised by elves, what would he be like?* he'd be trouble. Kindness was bred out of them long ago. It would be better to bash his head on the rocks than to allow it to live. :p

[Sister Golden Hair]

Originally posted by Twista
Surely there must be an extensive writing about this somewhere? No one know about it? Morgoth's Ring, Myths Transformed, Volume 10, The Histories of Middle-earth series.

[Wayfarer]

he'd be trouble. Kindness was bred out of them long ago. It would be better to bash his head on the rocks than to allow it to live. *Jumps in* But wait a second! Since the orcs as a race were corrupted, doesn't that mean that they could now be /un/corrupted?

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Wayfarer
*Jumps in* But wait a second! Since the orcs as a race were corrupted, doesn't that mean that they could now be /un/corrupted?
That's like making mashed potatoes and then saying... but surely we can unmash them and make them baked potatoes.

Even the land that was spoiled by his evil had to be washed away clean by rain and wind and time... lots of time.

[Earniel]

Originally posted by Twista
Surely there must be an extensive writing about this somewhere? No one know about it?

It would make a great 'unwritten book': The Unabridged History of the Orc-race. Though that's another thread entirely.

[Thorin II]

Originally posted by Sister Golden Hair
You are puting entirely too much emphasis on the movies. Saruman did not breed the Orcs. They were bred by Morgoth in the First Age and Sauron bred the Uruk-hai.

Yes, the movies certainly confused this point. The Uruk-hai were made in Mordor. That said, wasn't it the case that Saruman cross-bred men and orcs? I seem to remember that being in the books.

[Sister Golden Hair]

Originally posted by Thorin II
Yes, the movies certainly confused this point. The Uruk-hai were made in Mordor. That said, wasn't it the case that Saruman cross-bred men and orcs? I seem to remember that being in the books. Yes Thorin, I believe so. Someone else would probably know the details of that better than I.

[gandalffan2525]

I, for one, wouldnt want to research orc family trees:

"Excuse me, but do you know what your mothers maiden name was?"

*swinging mace*
"DIE!!!"

*running away*
"yes, but, your mother?"

"AAHHHHHHHHH!"

"never mind"

[Sminty_Smeagol]

now what human would want to mate with an orc??!?!? :eek:I don't think they had artificial insemination back then... ugh imagine that.... Like the shows 'a baby's story' and such... a delivery room with a bunch of humans and stuff and it's all like 'ooo a babbyy' and out pops a baby uruk...
hehe (http://www.geocities.com/sminty_eclipse/baby.html) ;)

it was humans they bred orcs with right?

[Lefty Scaevola]

It might be a strain, but I suspect Saruman's magic could make a orcess look sexy for a little while to a Dunlander.

[Nurvingiel]

More likely, his magic could make a Dunlander uncouscious for a while. Ew. I don't know if I want to post here anymore. *barf*

[GrayMouser]

I would think that the rape of captured human women would cover it well enough.

[Twista]

Originally posted by Sminty_Smeagol
now what human would want to mate with an orc??!?!? :eek:I don't think they had artificial insemination back then... ugh imagine that.... Like the shows 'a baby's story' and such... a delivery room with a bunch of humans and stuff and it's all like 'ooo a babbyy' and out pops a baby uruk...
hehe (http://www.geocities.com/sminty_eclipse/baby.html) ;)

it was humans they bred orcs with right?

nice little picture lol.

[Sminty_Smeagol]

thanks. I made it myself :D took all of about 2 minutes heh

[Twista]

Did u use photoshop yea? Thats what i do all my work in.

[Sminty_Smeagol]

I dunno. I use some program called like adobe photodeluxe business edition

[Thorin II]

Originally posted by GrayMouser
I would think that the rape of captured human women would cover it well enough.

This seems the most likely scenario, although the other suggestions are much more entertaining. ;)

[The Gaffer]

"What's An Orc To Do!"
They've beaten us to it. We call it "Eastenders" over here.

I imagine something like:

Scene: Dickensian squalor in darkened hole somewhere north of Gundabad, opposite the Co-op, turn left at the bookies.
Young Orc 1: Maw! (holds up small orc head) I've killed the bairn.
Mum: How many times have I told you not to play with knives in the nursery?
* baby drops out of her as per "The Meaning of Life" *
Make yourself useful and get that one will you? I'm busy.
* continues to peel elves at kitchen sink *
Dad (entering hole): right you lot, it's four days till pay day and I'm skint and needing a drink, so it's off to Sauron's armies with the lot of you.
47 Young Orcs: Awwwww....
Dad: None of yer backchat. Off you go now..
(grabs rope threaded through their nose rings and hooks onto passing Recruiting Troll. Orc children are all forcefully yanked off down the tunnel by their noses)
Dad (eyes Mum, still dripping with amniotic fluid and fresh placenta): aaahh, you're a fine looking Orcess, Mavis, and no mistake. Bend over.

and so on.

[Sminty_Smeagol]

thats really disturbing.

[Twista]

Originally posted by The Gaffer
They've beaten us to it. We call it "Eastenders" over here.


.

Lol Eastenders, what would Corrination Str be in ME then? 'Rivendell Rd' or something? hehe

[Nurvingiel]

*reads Gaffer's post*
Aaa! Mind-bleach! Mind-bleach!

Though, I love Monty Python. Very funny, if wierd. :D

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Originally posted by Nurvingiel
*reads Gaffer's post*
Aaa! Mind-bleach! Mind-bleach!

Though, I love Monty Python. Very funny, if wierd.
_____________________________________
Yes, it was rather dark:eek:

But how about a "Reality Show."

"Barliman Millionaire"
Ten orc lasses are duped into thinking Barliman Butterbur is really the Witch King of Angmar. Marry him and they'll share in the stash he hid while looting Cardolan.

[Nurvingiel]

Originally posted by Tuor of Gondolin
But how about a "Reality Show."

"Barliman Millionaire"
Ten orc lasses are duped into thinking Barliman Butterbur is really the Witch King of Angmar. Marry him and they'll share in the stash he hid while looting Cardolan. LOL Tuor! :D

Anyway, I think we've established that there is no Orc Queen popping them out "Meaning of Life" style.

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by The Gaffer
They've beaten us to it. We call it "Eastenders" over here.

I imagine something like:

Scene: Dickensian squalor in darkened hole somewhere north of Gundabad, opposite the Co-op, turn left at the bookies.
Young Orc 1: Maw! (holds up small orc head) I've killed the bairn.
Mum: How many times have I told you not to play with knives in the nursery?
* baby drops out of her as per "The Meaning of Life" *
Make yourself useful and get that one will you? I'm busy.
* continues to peel elves at kitchen sink *
Dad (entering hole): right you lot, it's four days till pay day and I'm skint and needing a drink, so it's off to Sauron's armies with the lot of you.
47 Young Orcs: Awwwww....
Dad: None of yer backchat. Off you go now..
(grabs rope threaded through their nose rings and hooks onto passing Recruiting Troll. Orc children are all forcefully yanked off down the tunnel by their noses)
Dad (eyes Mum, still dripping with amniotic fluid and fresh placenta): aaahh, you're a fine looking Orcess, Mavis, and no mistake. Bend over.

and so on. hilarious :D

[Eärloth]

Originally posted by Sister Golden Hair
You are puting entirely too much emphasis on the movies. Saruman did not breed the Orcs. They were bred by Morgoth in the First Age and Sauron bred the Uruk-hai.

I'd say he meant how did he get them to mate, not how did he create them

[Wayfarer]

I'm sure they were more than happy to take care of that for him. :rolleyes: