Varied and Imaginative Expressions of Displeasure

[Wayfarer]

Black Breathalizer has voiced what I think is a valid complaint against "posters who tell us at least ten bajillion times a day that Jackson is 'a hack who only gave us a mindless action flick.'" He says to those of us who dislike his precious films that "I don't mind opposing views but PLEEEEEEEEEASE give us some variety!"

Therefore, I dedicate this thread to coming up with new and inventive ways for us to say just what we really think about those miserable excuses for Tolkien films that PJ has so helpfully provided us. Don't just Bash Jackson- Do it In Style!

(Note: If you happen to be a fan of the films, and do not have enough of a sense of humor to deal with this, please at least have the decency not to bother posting in this thread. We purists don't need your defensive claptrap ruining our fun.)

[Wayfarer]

Peter Jackson is a hack who only gave us a mindless action flick.

Peter Jackson's films were about as faithful to Lord of the Rings as Jesus Christ, Superstar was to the Christian gospel.

Peter Jackson is a filmmaker that has been successful only in his unmitigated mediocrity.

The dazzling heights of Jackson's promises when he begin making the films has been equaled, to date, only by his spectacular to do what he said he was going to do.

As Treebeard would say: that evileyed blackhanded bowlegged flinthearted clawfingered foulbellied bloodthirsty... that /vermin/ of an orc.

The fury which Jackson's poor treatment of the subject matter ignites within me burns with the fury of a thousand dying suns going supernova. The dead, sinking weight I feel in the pit of my stomach every time I watch the films is analagous to the superdense heavier-than-lead elements that would be forged in such a reaction.

[jerseydevil]

I have to think about this - because I have had so many complaints, contrary to what BB thinks, I can't remember all the phrases and comments I have used.

[Wayfarer]

To be sure, JD, to be sure. :P

To say that Peter Jackson has not kept entirely true to the books in no way does him justice. No, quite on the contrary- He brutalized, tortured, and raped the source material, then eviscerated it and then dumped the remains , still breathing, into a shallow, unmarked grave.

Ah, now that's vitriol at it's best. ]; )

In point of fact, the corruption which Jackson has wrought upon Tolkien's masterwork is only slightly less evil than that which Melkor and Sauron wrought upon those poor children of Eru who were to become Orcs. The latter did so out of a selfish desire to dominate and control other lives- the former, out of a equally selfish desire to take the greatess and beauty of an already existing work and twist it to his own gain.

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Wayfarer
...selfish desire to take the greatess and beauty of an already existing work and twist it to his own gain.
This describes jackson's view of the books and their relationship with the movies PERFECTLY. He tried to convince us that he was going to be bringing a movie to the screen that would stay true to the books. Instead he gave us action movies (as it was even described on Primetime just now) and Aragorn RUNNING from his heritage. he gave us Arwen xen-elf. He gave us Merry and Pippin as comic relief, not to mention dwarf tossing jokes.

[Wayfarer]

Peter Jackson has claimed that he was making a film for those who were already fans of Tolkien. Having seen that this has not been the case so far in the first two films, if the third does not make up for them and more, I intend to make him eat his words. No, I am not going to bother trying to prove him wrong- what he has done speaks for itself. Rather, I have engraved his words into these shards of hot glass here, and I intend to force-feed them to him.

[Ruinel]

hmmmm... *thinking* ... can I call Jackson a crack whore here?

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Originally posted by Wayfarer
Peter Jackson's films were about as faithful to Lord of the Rings as Jesus Christ, Superstar was to the Christian gospel.


:D :D :D

I'd love to add a few, but sadly, time is too dear. Carry on! :D

[squinteyedsoutherner]

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Originally posted by Wayfarer
Peter Jackson's films were about as faithful to Lord of the Rings as Jesus Christ, Superstar was to the Christian gospel.

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That is the best quote I've read in here in a while - Well done!

[Ruinel]

My opprobrium of Jackson...

To keep in the spirit of this thread, I will refrain from using inappropriate jibes at either Jackson or his beloved worshippers who follow him blind. (Though, for those who really know me... you know how truely insurmountable that might be.)

My first and primary complaint is with Jackson's continuous endeavor to dupe the loyal fans of JRRT. From the first announcement he made, claiming to pitch the idea as a "movie for the fans" to the release of the last bastardized interpretation of JRRT's RotK, he as lied through his proverbial teeth. To give him the benefit of the doubt, if his intent was ever to stay true to JRRT's stories, he failed miserably. Which only proves indubitably his inadequacy for the task.

... more later... my pizza's done. :)

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Wayfarer
... Rather, I have engraved his words into these shards of hot glass here, and I intend to force-feed them to him. cool... can I watch? :)

[mithrand1r]

I think PJ's version of LOTR can be summed as follows:

It is similar to a food that starts off sweet in the mouth, but leaves you with a bitter aftertaste.

[Sister Golden Hair]

Okay, under the current circumstances with the new rules being applied and enforced at this time, I find this thread to be in violation of the new rules, and it can only serve to exacerbate the situation that I am attempting to remedy.

Closing.