Mary Sue Help!

[Yodaman]

My friend (Gollumxelfxgurl) and I are doing a series of fan fics called "War of the Ring", which is based off the video game. She said the main character should be a female elvish archer, so I said okay. But now I'm afraid she's going to be a Mary Sue. Here's her characteristics:

Name: Lúthien Elanessë, which is Gollumxelfxgurl's elvish name (see http://www.chriswetherell.com/elf/ ).

Personality: Rougish. Non talkative, stern, but has good leadership qualities and gets the job done.

Role in Story: In the first episode, Haldir is leading his troops agianst the Butchers of Isengard, which are a group of magically enhanced Berserker Uruk-Hai. Haldir is defending a Rohirrim villiage (which soldier's all died and they need help), but the orcs are too much for him, so Celeborn sends another group of Wood Elf warriors. She wants to fight but she can't since she's a woman. So in true Dernhelm fassion, she disguises herself as a man and helps defend Haldir. Haldir congradulates her by giving her a medal, but then her helmet falls of and her identity is revealed. She runs away and becomes a rogue.

Love Interests: None

Is that too Mary Sue? Thanks

Yodaman

[Elf Girl]

That is a Sue.

...sorry about that. The Sueish qualities are these: Steals Luthien's name. Has a non-elven name. (Name generators are /not/ real Elvish! Try the Ardalambion. The name is formed of Elvish fragments, but Elanessë means 'star for name', and names traditionally made sense.) Has a last name when Elves traditionally only have one. Disguises herself as a man. Is a warrior. Doesn't have evident faults.

Her not falling in lurve with Legolas is good. If you changed the name she might just squeak by and not be one.

[Yodaman]

Is this too Gary Stu?

Name: Undetermined
Age: 25
Love Interests: None
Life History: He is half Duenedain, half wildman. His wildman father took him but his father was shot by elves, thus he now lives with Wood Elves.
Wants: To be a warrior
Events in Story: When the King of the Wood Elves won't let him go into battle, he goes anyways, but gets lost and becomes part ranger, part theif.

Yodaman

[Nurvingiel]

What's a Mary Sue?

[Yodaman]

This is directly from www.theforce.net:

MARY SUE. A character who is a thinly disguised version of the author. A major warning sign is the new character who becomes romantically involved with one of the main characters and/or saves his life. First coined in 1974, the original Mary Sue was a beautiful half-human, half-Vulcan who rescued Kirk, Spock, and Dr. McCoy. According to Paula Smith, "the truest mark of a Mary Sue is not how she's described or what she does, but the effect the sheer fact of her existence in the story has on the other characters in the story. If program characters start worrying endlessly about her, or go all gooey because she's just so darn cute or smart...the girl's a Mary Sue." Male equivalents have been named Maurice Stu, Marty Stu and Gary Stu. Concerned authors should consult the Star Wars/Star Fox Mary Sue Litmus Test.

Yodaman

[Elf Girl]

LotR MS info can be found at the 'Need Help?' section of Lord of the MST. (http://alswaiter.codedaemon.com/LOTR/) .

[Nurvingiel]

I love that website. It gives great tips, and makes you think twice about writing a Mary Sue when you read the MST's. Funny that I just wrote one, on purpose though.