Stange Products

[Sicirus]

Iput this thread here because I thought it appropriate to put it were it most relates. I mean since the movie of the lord of the rings came out allot of toys and trading cards and stuff has been produced, to my great disgusted. (I think their making lotr into some kind of profit thing and that’s it) (No offense of course my dear mellons)

This thread can be used to express ideas of the worst possible toys or products that could be sold based of lotr.

Here are some examples I thought of during fine arts class (yes I day dream when I'm bored):D

A gollum toy that sits next to the door and when someone comes in it says, "You will not steal my Precious!" That ought to scare a burglar (sp) and you.

A stuffed Frodo that does the same. A stuffed Sam bed protector.

A Shadowfax costume for the dog for hallows eve.

Elvin recopies book. (Though that might actually be fun)

Maps (relating to our world) to find different places in Middle earth.

Ok that’s all for now. Have fun.;)

[Nurvingiel]

Actually, I think the map one would be cool. But those other ones are cheesy. I heard that they made a Harry Potter 4 poster bed! What if they made a Lord of the Rings Elven Flet, to be assembled as a child's tree house? Sells for $300 and is just an ordinary platform.

[Beor]

I agree, the map one would be cool, but I think that if I had the time and money, I would probably just do it myself, and find things that correspond with my own imagination.

------Gandalf fireworks!----------

------Ringwraith costumes: $75, and its only some cheap black bedsheets----------------

[Millane]

hmmm i actually bough a Gandalf starter deck for the lord tcg and i dont think its tacky but i didnt think it worked well, or maybe we just played **** because two of my crappy minions could easily take down boromir and aragorn (and they did;) )
a lot of places do sell lord costumes but they arent official new line stuff...
i bought a helms deep battle set:o and ill probly by some return toys aswell... the weta sculptures are awesome though, theres a really good Galadhrim archer that im gunna get...
mmmm they could try and market Lembas like Harry Potter tried to sell all there lollies, that's be pretty horrid

[Nurvingiel]

Originally posted by Millane
mmmm they could try and market Lembas like Harry Potter tried to sell all there lollies, that's be pretty horrid That would be awful! :(:D

Here's one that already exists: You can own Arwen's pendant thingy! How dreadful. :D

[hectorberlioz]

its really getting nasty, this product stuff.
i'm starting to see pringle cans with rotk stuff on it...

i think the worse product scenario would be lotr barbies and kens.
imagine all those legolas fan girls fighting over legolas dolls!:p

i know they've already done dolls of lotr. but the barbie company gets everything too.

[jerseydevil]

I woudl like to see a Peter Jackson toilette seat. Maybe a toilette deodorizer thing with his face so it can go right into the tank. :D

[hectorberlioz]

lol, that would be great.
or a punching bag with his face on it.

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by jerseydevil
I woudl like to see a Peter Jackson toilette seat. Maybe a toilette deodorizer thing with his face so it can go right into the tank. :D
:eek: HOW MUCH!!!! *grabs wallet* I'LL TAKE 2 OF EACH!!! :eek: THEY'RE NOT SOLD OUT ARE THEY!?!





:mad: wwwwwwaaaait a second......

.......*checks starting post* ..... :mad:

......... DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT SUCKS!!!! This is only for FAKE products? DAMN YOU ALL FOR GETTING MY HOPES UP!!! :mad:


.........................................;) :p :D

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Ruinel
:eek: HOW MUCH!!!! *grabs wallet* I'LL TAKE 2 OF EACH!!! :eek: THEY'RE NOT SOLD OUT ARE THEY!?!





:mad: wwwwwwaaaait a second......

.......*checks starting post* ..... :mad:

......... DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT SUCKS!!!! This is only for FAKE products? DAMN YOU ALL FOR GETTING MY HOPES UP!!! :mad:


.........................................;) :p :D
Next month - we will be offering the Jackson toilet paper to go with the toilet seats. :) I would say Arwen too - but I think I have made Liv Tyler cry once already by the sounds of it.

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by jerseydevil
Next month - we will be offering the Jackson toilet paper to go with the toilet seats. :)
:p HA!!! I'm not falling for that again! :p


Too bad they aren't real products. :( *sticks money back in wallet*

[Nurvingiel]

Off topic, but why did you make Liv Tyler cry JD? Curious.

I think a funny one would be RotK bandaids. I actually saw Harry Potter ones - pretty cheesy!

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Nurvingiel
Off topic, but why did you make Liv Tyler cry JD? Curious.
Azalea, I think, in the TT Extended Edition thread or one of the other threads mentioned that Liv Tyler said she cried because of the "Xena-Elf" comments. I was the first to call her character Xena-Elf back when FotR came out. I don't know if this is true or not - but I don't want to make Liv Tyler cry. It's Jackson's fault anyway.

By the way - JK Rowling said that some of the stuff that she nixed for Harry Potter merchanidise was way out there.

[cassiopeia]

They could have a huge plastic PJ ar*e for some people to kiss. Not looking at anyone. :D

[BeardofPants]

Yeah, but that doesn't stop me... *pointed look at JD* ... Kidding! Kidding! :p

[The Gaffer]

How about a giant corkscrew for purists to remove obstructions from their arses? (also joking)

[BeardofPants]

Hmm, Gaffer, do you think the corkscrew will be enough to pull BB out? :confused:

[The Gaffer]

If it's the Grond(TM) Arsecleaner, it'll get anything out (100% guaranteed natural ingredients; not tested on animals, or at all for that matter)

Though, I would have to ask what he's doing up there in the first place.:eek:

[BeardofPants]

I think he crawled in there after I stuffed Peter Jackson up there.

[Sicirus]

:D

HOw about Lotr boxers and panties???? Have Frodo on the front of your......

Or the worse... Lord of the rigs cereal. (Frodo puffs or Sam's special conie cereal):D

Or a fish product named after Smeagle. Eat 'm raw.

Boromir's bugle or horn. That would be pretty bad. Those things are really hard to blow though.:confused:

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Originally posted by Siricus
Or a fish product named after Smeagle. Eat 'm raw.
_______________________________________-

Gollum's Sushi Palace:
"We catch 'em, we slice 'em, we dice 'em"
"Everyone welcome" except the nassty fat hobbit. We hates him. We hates him forever! He burns everything!

[Sicirus]

Originally posted by Tuor of Gondolin
Originally posted by Siricus
Or a fish product named after Smeagle. Eat 'm raw.
_______________________________________-

Gollum's Sushi Palace:
"We catch 'em, we slice 'em, we dice 'em"
"Everyone welcome" except the nassty fat hobbit. We hates him. We hates him forever! He burns everything!

LOL^ That was great, Sushi is good.

How about orc mud baths? Sure to turn your life around.;)

[azalea]

Actually the Horn of Gondor idea isn't bad -- that could be a really nice replica -- and very useful for calling the family to dinner: "Uh, dear, we're just in the next room, I don't think you needed to use that many decibels:p "

[hectorberlioz]

lotr on diapers!:p

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by hectorberlioz
lotr on diapers!:p
Can we have Jackson's face lining the inside? :D

[hectorberlioz]

lol! that sick!:p
no, but we're gonna have a bobble headed cute littlle gollum, aragorn, and arwen.
and on another set we'll ahve frodo and sam and faramir.

[Sicirus]

Frodo plush doll who says... "Your my precious."

Yeah lort diapors... When the rings disappear then that means he or she needs a diapor change. :D

Treebeard plastic tree protectors. Protect your trees from the cold. (in any case a plastic thingy said to have magic in it.

[Silme*Christian]

I hate those stupid "Frodo Lives" shirt! They took the fun out of the "Jesus Lives" shirts!

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Silme*Christian
I hate those stupid "Frodo Lives" shirt! They took the fun out of the "Jesus Lives" shirts!
Sorry - but "Frodo Lives" has been around for over 40 years. It's not something new.

[Nurvingiel]

"Jesus Lives" has probably been around longer than that!

But, not having been around for 40 years myself, I have nothing to complain about.

Okay, how about random household objects with LotR characters on it? Toothbrush, towel, dishwasher, tablecloth, lamp shade etc.

And special toiled paper for you JD. With whoever you want on it.

[Silme*Christian]

I bet that the "Jesus Lives" shirts have been around longer than that. But I am not saying they are new, I just hate them. And LotR coins, cups that change colors, breath mints, curtains, sleepwear, beding sets and bath accessories

[hectorberlioz]

gollum bed time slippers.
and if you touch a certain spot o nthe right foot slipper; it says: "precioussssssss" in a kinda hollow voice.

[Silme*Christian]

Oh! Those are odd! Never knew there was such a thing! Oh, I saw LotR toothpast!

[Nurvingiel]

Are everyone's suggestions in this thread actual products? I've just been making mine up...

[hectorberlioz]

yes, mine are fictional.
except maybe lotr dolls. those do exist....sad,but true...

[Nurvingiel]

They have those bobble-head dolls for hockey players too.

Frodo and Todd Bertuzzi stand proudly side by side... :rolleyes:

Okay, here's a ridiculous one... they could make a video game, a board game, and a card game (in the style of Magic, The Gathering) so it could be a generic fantasy.
Oh... wait. :D

[hectorberlioz]

lol, they already made those.
i'm not happy about it either. i hate seeing those dungeons and dragons fan weirdos 'touching' lotr books in the bookstore.
first guy-"hey look dude!"
second guy-"nah, dude dont really like those. i can tell they copied from 'tara the night angel' series."

i saw it with own eyes.

[Nurvingiel]

Haha! :D

When I said "Oh, wait" I was hinting that I knew that already and was being sarcastic.

I play Rifts (another RPG)! I have no knowledge about Rifts players making moronic comments about LotR.

I didn't even know there were role playing books for it.

[Sicirus]

Originally posted by Nurvingiel
They have those bobble-head dolls for hockey players too.

Frodo and Todd Bertuzzi stand proudly side by side... :rolleyes:

Okay, here's a ridiculous one... they could make a video game, a board game, and a card game (in the style of Magic, The Gathering) so it could be a generic fantasy.
Oh... wait. :D

There are lotr chess games and monopoly. I saw it in a store. I thoguht it was hilarious. Till I saw the rpice. Very expensive.

A fake lock of Gadriel's hair. (that would be pathetic)

yeah you make up products. But if you see stupid products then list them kindly.;)

[Sister Golden Hair]

How about a Peter Jackson voodoo doll for JD?:D

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Sister Golden Hair
How about a Peter Jackson voodoo doll for JD?:D
I like it. I like it. :) It'll go very good with my traitor New JERSEY Giants and traitor New JERSEY Jets voodoo dolls. :D

[Nurvingiel]

With LotR Nazgul darts to go with it! ;)

LotR chess would be okay, but LotR Monopoly? (Everything has its own Monopoly game - I just saw a Cat-in-the-Hat one. :rolleyes: )

Lobielia Sackville-Baggins would buy it... "Ha! You just landed on my hoted on Bag-End! You owe me $2000!"
Me: "Well you could still land on my three houses on Baradur! Mwahaha!"



edit: darn smilies getting confused...

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Nurvingiel
With LotR Nazgul darts to go with it! ;)

LotR chess would be okay, but LotR Monopoly? (Everything has its own Monopoly game - I just saw a Cat-in-the-Hat one. :rolleyes: )

I know - the original is Atlantic City and is the only TRUE Monopoly Board. :D I thought most people knew this - but I've discovered a lot of people don't.

[Nurvingiel]

I have the original game! I heard somewhere all the street names came from Atlantic City. Whoever lives on Baltic Avenue must feel really burned. :D

What's the point of all this extra crap? This movie and Harry Potter are the only ones who sell a buch of crap along with the movie. All the hype really puts me off. It's not like they need the money, I heard all three movies will gross $1 billion! Isn't that sick!

[Sicirus]

Originally posted by Nurvingiel
With LotR Nazgul darts to go with it! ;)

LotR chess would be okay, but LotR Monopoly? (Everything has its own Monopoly game - I just saw a Cat-in-the-Hat one. :rolleyes: )

Lobielia Sackville-Baggins would buy it... "Ha! You just landed on my hoted on Bag-End! You owe me $2000!"
Me: "Well you could still land on my three houses on Baradur! Mwahaha!"



edit: darn smilies getting confused...

LOL bet the Sackvilles would. It would be more like . ":Ha. I finally own Baggend!

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Nurvingiel
I have the original game! I heard somewhere all the street names came from Atlantic City.

Yes - all the names come from Atlantic City - except for Ventnor, which is a town just south of AC. And there is a name that is misspelled - but I can't remember which one right now.

Whoever lives on Baltic Avenue must feel really burned. :D
Actually not anymore. Baltic is one of the more expensive streets in Atlantic City now. Boardwalk is still top dollar though.

[Nurvingiel]

Originally posted by Sicirus
LOL bet the Sackvilles would. It would be more like . ":Ha. I finally own Baggend! Yeah, and she'd just spend the entire game gloating over that too!

All the game pieces are probably characters from the movie. (That phrase doesn't sit right with me with respect to LotR, but it applies in this case.) Instead of "I get to be the hat!" it would be "I get to be Aragorn!"

[Silme*Christian]

"I get to be Gandalf!" LOL, my Dad has the new football manopoly game! The game peices is a football, helmet, jersey, goal post, wistle, etc. It is pathetic to play Manopoly in my family, we ALWAYS fight.

[hectorberlioz]

Originally posted by Sister Golden Hair.
How about a Peter Jackson voodoo doll for JD?
also comes with doll size burning stake, and spiked wheel.

[Silme*Christian]

Choice of either Glamdring, Narsil or Sting pokie-thingy. (I am sure they thought about killing him)

[LuthienTinuviel]

weve got dog-opoly and cat-opoly in my pet store!
you get to buy differnt kinds of dogs.. boardwalk is a great dane and baltic is a chihuaua (how the heck DO you spell that!)
it's cute

but anyways, they should make Lotr day-of-the-week underwear sets..
frodo mondays
gandalf tuesdays
legolas wednesdays
pippenthursdays
merry fridays
gollum saturdays
and saruman sundays!

edit: andthey should mak a doll size for the voodoo PJ too!:p

[durin's bane]

How about some replicas of PJ's trademark pink shorts? :p

[Sicirus]

Originally posted by durin's bane
How about some replicas of PJ's trademark pink shorts? :p

LOL


And don't forget, has to be barefoot. (thats how they got the idea for parts of Gollums details)

HOw about a Gollum mood decider (or mood ring) Turns Blue when you are wanting precious, turns green when you are becoming saner.

[Nurvingiel]

For LotR underwear, Gollum's is a loincloth. :D

[LuthienTinuviel]

Originally posted by Nurvingiel
For LotR underwear, Gollum's is a loincloth. :D :eek:

[Dreran the Green]

Originally posted by hectorberlioz
lol! that sick!:p
no, but we're gonna have a bobble headed cute littlle gollum, aragorn, and arwen.
and on another set we'll ahve frodo and sam and faramir.

um, those are already in existence. Every character but Arwen looks like a woman:p

LotR beanie babies.

[hectorberlioz]

LotR beanie babies.
ohmygoodness!:p no! that would be too much. if they went that far....eww, i can just imagine a bunch of teeny-bopper/legolas crazy girls playing with the legolas beanie baby....

[Sister Golden Hair]

Originally posted by hectorberlioz
ohmygoodness!:p no! that would be too much. if they went that far....eww, i can just imagine a bunch of teeny-bopper/legolas crazy girls playing with the legolas beanie baby.... Yep, and it must be anatomically correct.:D

[hectorberlioz]

Yep, and it must be anatomically correct.
:eek:
yeah, or else the girls wouldnt buy them.....
eww:eek: this is getting sick.

[mithrand1r]

Originally posted by jerseydevil
Yes - all the names come from Atlantic City - except for Ventnor, which is a town just south of AC. And there is a name that is misspelled - but I can't remember which one right now.


I think the card is Marvin Garden ($280 what a bargin ;)) next to Go to Jail space.
Marven Gardens is the correct spelling.

Would anyone be interested in LOTR: RISK (about USD$26-$30) ;)


In case anyone is interested in some of the history behind Monopoly, below is a website
http://ntsrv2000.educ.ualberta.ca/nethowto/examples/edit435/monopoly/history.htm

enjoy.

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by mithrand1r
I think the card is Marvin Garden ($280 what a bargin ;)) next to Go to Jail space.
Marven Gardens is the correct spelling.

Would anyone be interested in LOTR: RISK (about USD$26-$30) ;)


In case anyone is interested in some of the history behind Monopoly, below is a website
http://ntsrv2000.educ.ualberta.ca/nethowto/examples/edit435/monopoly/history.htm

enjoy.
Yup - Marven Gardens. I was too lazy to look it up. :) I shoudl have known that a fellow New Jerseyan would have helped with the info. :D

[Nurvingiel]

Does anyone play that card role-playing game that came out? When I was a kid, I used to play Magic: The Gathering. In my mind, that's the definitive card RPG.

[Millane]

ohhh me and my friends brother bought a starter deck each just to check it out, i dont think it was that great, he played it a bit online and was loving it but i think it wore off pretty quickly

[Nurvingiel]

One of my friends bought a whole bunch. The cards are really nice, but they're so expensive! This isn't really a strange product though.

[Sicirus]

you know what would be bad....DIsney creating a Lotr animated movie. :D

Did I scare u yet???

[Nurvingiel]

*cringes* Imagine all the awful products that would ensue from that! *rocks back and forth in the corner*

[hectorberlioz]

you know what would be bad....DIsney creating a Lotr animated movie.
that would be the ultimate transgression of mankinds.
imagine anime shows of lotr! now that would be sickening.

[Nurvingiel]

Anime wouldn't be that bad. Disney would be dreadful. It has to be good anime though, average anime leads to cheesy products. *ahem* Pokemon

[Millane]

hmmm i like the idea of anime, if done properly it is one of the best methods of telling a story. although that doesnt extend to cartoons (cringes at thought of stupid series of Watership Down, Bigwig had a mane of hair:mad: )... the cards were really classy and damn legolas wasnt as powerful as Aragorn thank christ

[hectorberlioz]

no, anime would stink.
lotr just wouldnt combine well with anime at all.

btw,i saw "spirited away" and it was really stupid, and cheesy, and gross.

[Insidious Rex]

Originally posted by hectorberlioz
i think the worse product scenario would be lotr barbies and kens.

welcome to your nightmare: http://www.barbiecollectibles.com/whatshot/featuredoll/

[Nurvingiel]

Aaaaa! That's the most dreadful thing I've ever seen! That's worse than that stupid Duracel ad!

*falls off chair, clutching heart*

Okay, at least they don't look a thing like Arwen and Aragorn, so I can pretend the movies aren't tainted. (You know it's a problem when you're worried about the movie being tainted.) :D

[hectorberlioz]

welcome to your nightmare: http://www.barbiecollectibles.com/whatshot/featuredoll/
those looked awsome! i think i want a couple of those:rolleyes:

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Insidious Rex
welcome to your nightmare: http://www.barbiecollectibles.com/whatshot/featuredoll/
AAAAHHHH
AAAAAAAAHHHHHH
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH
MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!
AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

[hectorberlioz]

a puppet of gollum wearing a diaper, ands if you squeeze his belly; he'll giggle.
and a gimli one too.

[Nurvingiel]

Tickle-me-Gimli? *Bashes head on wall numerous times*

You realize that if Gimli ever heard of this, he would have to kill you in an honourable battle. :D

As for Tickle-me-Gollum, I don't think any child would want to play with him.

[hectorberlioz]

but gollum is so cute!:p who wouldnt want to have a tickle me gollum?:rolleyes:
and a legolas one would sell so fast, they'd have to price em as much as $100.00 each.

[Nurvingiel]

Gollum isn't cute! Maybe a Gollum doll might be though. Except you'd tickle it and it would go "Tickle me again, nasssty human, and I will bite your hand off up to your elbow. Yes Precious it will. I want fish. Yes preciousss."

Have fun kiddies! :D

*shudders at the thought of fangirls buying a Tickle-me-Leggsie*
(I actually did shudder.)

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Message from former riverine dwelling hobbit person:

hectorberlioz is our friend. Nurvingiel would probably like a stupid, fat hobbit doll. Tickle it and it burns all your food. We hates it (Sam doll)! We hates it forever! Almost as much as we hates MTV!!!

But remember, hectorberlioz is our friend.:)

You don't have any friends:mad:

Fish are our friends. We love fish!:D
Ummmmm! Fish!
Ummmmm! Fish!

[Nurvingiel]

:D

Nurvingiel is a stupid fat hobbit doll, now don't go pawing at mister Frodo. Tickle-me-Stinker is more like it.

[Sicirus]

*gasp* can't *gasp* stop *gasp* laughing. HAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!

Those dolls are a nightmare. Well unless you want to ..... hehehe. Those are dolls for people who either ahte Aragorn and want to do horrile things to him or hatre Arwen and the same. But come on Tolkien is probably trying to curse all the dolls from the afterlife.

By the way a doll of gollum would be hilarious. You would hear in the middle of the night after accindentaly(sp) pushing the botton "WE wants fishes stupid fat human!"

I think a doll of Grima would be fun were you can remove his body parts and switch them with other charcters body parts. Oh the joy you can have with a Sarumon with a Grima head!!!!!:D