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Akamai Deredal
10-12-2003, 11:21 AM
I figured this would be a good place to get opinions on something I'm currently writing, and possibly some advice on how to fix it and make it more interesting. I just need someone to read a few pieces here and there, if that's all they have time for, and tell me what they think of it. It's still a rough draft of course, so there's a lot of mistakes that I haven't fixed yet... So I guess I'll post a couple paragraphs if anyone really wants to read it. (To the moderator[s]: Is this the right Forum to put this in, or do I need to go somewhere else? -_- So difficult for me to navigate around the Forums... Oh well!)

Artanis
10-12-2003, 11:26 AM
There's a Writer's Workshop forum here, you should try your luck there. :)

Insidious Rex
10-12-2003, 11:28 AM
here hun http://entmoot.tolkientrail.com/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=19

but you probably dont have to do anything. they will move this thread there eventually.

Akamai Deredal
10-12-2003, 11:28 AM
Thank you for the help, Artanis. At least I didn't get yelled at... yet. Maybe I'll get a response there.

<Anyone who sees this thread and actually wants to read what I've written, I'll be in the writers workshop. lol>

Akamai Deredal
10-12-2003, 11:31 AM
I figured this would be a good place to get opinions on something I'm currently writing (many thanks to Artanis for directing me to the right Forum this time! hehe), and possibly some advice on how to fix it and make it more interesting. I just need someone to read a few pieces here and there, if that's all they have time for, and tell me what they think of it. It's still a rough draft of course, so there's a lot of mistakes that I haven't fixed yet... So I guess I'll post a couple paragraphs if anyone really wants to read it.

(Yes yes, i know, I already said that in the last thread I tried to set up... but hey, I don't want people to get... confused. Maybe it's for me really, but oh well, it works.)

Akamai Deredal
10-12-2003, 11:34 AM
Oh wow, I think I just buggered things up quite nicely. I didn't think they'd move it THAT fast. Now there's two threads of the same thing... I've managed to muddle things up yet again. *sheepish grin* Ignore this wonderful thread and just go onto the other one... *shakes her head and walks off muttering to herself* Stupid, stupid, stupid...

Akamai Deredal
10-12-2003, 12:25 PM
All righty, I'm just gonna put in the first couple paragraphs so you lot have something to read. (Please, be somewhat gentle in your criticism. I can handle it, I'm sure, but this is one of my first stories I've ever shown anyone... lol)
_____________________________

One

The moon sat cradled in the arms of the great oaks, spilling its silvery light upon the forest floor. A horse’s hooves made a muffled sound, barely noticeable amidst the creaking of the massive boughs. Once whispering voices now became frantic in their urgency to escape the shadows of the forest. One by one, running forms ran under the canopy of the trees, and one by one they were pulled down, screaming, by some unseen hunter. Rune crouched in the crook of one of the branches, carefully steadying himself as he watched, not wanting to attract the attention of the hunters. Not just yet.

~~~

The lynethe race had long ago made the forest of Amahdy their home, and now they were being run from it with barely any effort at all. Lynethe were a race of their own, as pure and as old as the elves themselves. In truth, the lynethe were practically half-elves, though unlike them, they were pure of blood. No one ever knew where they had come from, but there were records of them since the beginning of time. Close brethren to the elven kind, they were adapt in many skills. Swift of foot and hand, they were known to be as graceful as the elves were, and as skilled with weapons as the elves as well. Though, few ever took up the bow. None of that mattered now… They were being as killed as easily as babes, as they ran through the lands of their old homes, among the smoldering ruins, and the mounds of bodies, both family and friend.

Rune watched the carnage from above, catching glimpses of a shadow in the middle of a patch of light. "So it was the nirav who decided to rid the world of our fair woodland creatures." He murmured softly to himself, slowly sliding his blade out of its sheath. Glancing around once more he made note of the areas where there were no nirav. His shadow shrouded form dropped down from the branch and landed with hardly a sound. He would not spill any blood unless he had to, he just meant to find the survivors and get them out of there safely. I hate wanting to be the hero… This needs to stop. He trotted off to where most of the screams were originating from. The ones the had fled would already have been slain.

Most of the lynethe had already fled, as was expected, though, as Rune soon discovered, a small number had stayed. Unfortunately, the number kept growing smaller and smaller by the minute. When Rune finally reached the group, only three or four remained. Two of them being young women, the other two a somewhat older man, and a young man not much younger than Rune himself. The man was hacking at the moving shadows relentlessly in an attempt to save the boy. Rune hesitated for a mere second and time suddenly seemed to stretch out as he watched, horrified. A nirav crept up behind the young man and latched onto his shoulder with its fangs, dragging him away from the group. In an instant, time was back to speed, and Rune lunged at the creature with a bellow. His sword caught it in the midriff, instantly drenching the ground in its foul blood.

The creature released the young man from its grip as it screeched and threw itself at its attacker. It was the last move it made, before being skewered on the end of Rune’s sword. Ripping the blade from the body, Rune stooped and hoisted the man up. He’d lost consciousness soon after being bitten, the nirav’s venomous fangs temporarily paralyzing his body. Striding over to the last three remaining lynethe, Rune thrust the man into the arms of one of the women and set about clearing a way for them. "Follow me." Was the only thing he said to them as he slowly disappeared into the darkness. His muscles relaxed slightly as he realized they had followed him.

Earniel
10-13-2003, 06:43 AM
Originally posted by Akamai Deredal
Oh wow, I think I just buggered things up quite nicely. I didn't think they'd move it THAT fast. Now there's two threads of the same thing... I've managed to muddle things up yet again. *sheepish grin* Ignore this wonderful thread and just go onto the other one... *shakes her head and walks off muttering to herself* Stupid, stupid, stupid...

Don't worry, Akamai. I've merged both threads into this one. :)

PippinTook
11-01-2003, 02:37 PM
uttery wonderful akai! thats my little buddy! I am very interested i what happes next! post! post! ;) teehee! Keep up the good work!

Akamai Deredal
11-01-2003, 07:33 PM
As they traveled, the attacks from their pursuers grew less and less frequent until they ceased completely. "There’s a woman who lives here, she’ll heal the lot of you. Come on it’s not much further." Rune said, trying to encourage them, but one of the women shook her head. "She was killed… she came to help as soon as she got word we’d been attacked previously… This attack was first aimed at the wounded, and their caretakers. I was there… I saw her." Her voice was as hard as steel, and held little warmth in it. A cheveyo, one of their seasoned warriors.
"Then little good she’ll do us." Rune said, shrugging.
"Tell me, Marked One, what brought you to our aid?" The cheveyo asked.
"My own stupidity." He had forgotten how well they lynethe saw, even in the dark. He hadn’t expected her to see the mark under his left eye.

The other man had taken the young boy and was now watching Rune. He couldn’t have been too much older than Rune, but he was certainly no younger. "Here… clean your weapons off with this, before the blood etches the blade." Rune muttered, handing the cheveyo a cloth. Taking it from him, she brought the blade of her weapon in front of her face. Blinking, Rune studied the massive blade in surprise. He’d never seen a scythe blade that monstrous in size. The staff it was mounted on had to have been at least three inches in diameter. The staff alone was unbelievable. Giving it a closer look, he realized it was carved entirely from bone.

"Kacela, thyn vie lia relyn dias Nishan…" Came the soft voice of the other girl, who had leaned nearer to the cheveyo.
Rune knew only one word that she had spoken; Nishan was lynethe for ‘Marked One.’ "What’d she say?"
"She said she does not trust you. But don’t take offense. Akai no longer trusts anyone. Ever since she began speaking the Old Voice, she’s barely spoken to anyone."
"Does she not trust her family then? What would make her suspicious of her own kin?"
The cheveyo hugged the girl closer to her comfortingly, "She has no family to trust in, Nishan."

The boy that had been attacked groaned as he woke up, and the man holding him up laid him on the ground. The cheveyo stood, handing her weapon to Akai. "Let me tend to Tuari, Kiros. Clean your blade, and then we’ll go." Rune froze. "Kiros?" The man looked up at the other from his kneeling position. "That would be my name. Why do you ask?"
Rune dropped down to one knee, his right hand over his heart, his left extended palm upward to Kiros. "I didn’t realize it was you, good King. I’m sorry I did not assist sooner."
Kiros rose to his feet, and motioned for Rune to do the same. "Name, soldier."
"Rune Imaran. I fought beside you at the end of the Border Lands."
"Rune! I’m sorry you had to see my race in such troubled times. All the same, it is good to see you, old friend." Kiros said, embracing Rune and laughing.

~~~

Akamai Deredal
11-01-2003, 07:37 PM
Dawn found the group outside the forest, tattered and exhausted from the night long run. After Kiros had introduced Rune to Kacela, and Tuari, they had all been eager to leave the darkness of the trees. Kacela, the cheveyo, and Akai had taken turns bearing the Tuari’s arm over their shoulders until dawn’s first light had reached them. Rune now carried the boy, his gait as tireless as the others. But they had done an entire day and half a night of fighting. Letting them rest beside one of the many small streams leading into the forest, he went ahead and searched the surrounding area.

"Akai, will you please eat something?" Kacela asked kindly, handing the girl a small package of food. "Please? I won’t have you die of starvation… I promised your mother I’d take care of you."
"Leave her be, Kacela… She won’t eat unless she wants to. You know that as well as I do."

Kacela shot Kiros a dirty look, but sighed and started to put the food away. She grunted as Akai reached for it and gingerly slipped it out of her hands. The girl looked up at her with her pale gray eyes as she tore a chunk of bread into pieces and nearly crawled over to Tuari. Resting the boy’s head on her legs, Akai fed the boy, and gave him water. Tuari smiled up at her, his muscles still weak from the poison, and murmured a quiet thank you in Old Voice. Akai paused for a moment, then returned the smile and ruffled the man’s hair the way she would a child‘s.

"Well, would you look at that… Never saw that coming." Kiros murmured under his breath, making Akai look up at him.
"Neither of us were making an effort to feed him, Kiros." Kacela whispered as the other girl lowered her head.

Kiros put his arm around the cheveyo, pulling her close against him. Kacela smiled slightly, and rested her head on his shoulder. The two had grown up together, but since the time Kiros had been named heir to the crown, they had to hide how they felt towards each other. Once childhood friends, they had grown to love each other, true enough, but Kacela was no queen. Nor would she want to be. "They’ve all gone to join our ancestors, haven’t they, Kiros?" She murmured, tears coming unbidden to her eyes. He sighed and tightened his hold on her. "Yes, Kacela. We are the last of our once fine people."

A quite sobbing made Kiros raise his head. Akai was crying, holding Tuari tightly. The boy hugged her and whispered something in her ear. Her hand gripped his blood soaked shirt and her sobbing stilled somewhat. "It’ll be all right, little sister. We’re still alive, and that’s what matters right now." Tuari said, running his hand over the back of her head, his fingers going through her straight black hair. Akai murmured something in the young man’s ear, and he smiled. "Then go. Go run and we shall follow soon after." Rising, she patted his hand and smiled down at him, before walking past Kiros and Kacela. As soon as she was past them her steps grew quicker until she was running across the plains. Tuari stared after her, a small glint of longing in his eyes.

"Where’s she going, boy?" Kiros snapped, standing up and turning to start after the girl.
"She just wants to run, sir. She wanted to leave this place and her sorrow behind her. Let her be free for just a few short hours… She promised she would return to us."
Kiros watched the girl’s retreating form and shook his head. "I don’t think I’ll ever understand her. But at least she trusts you… Keep an eye on her when you can, Tuari. I can’t afford to lose her as well."

~~~

Akamai Deredal
11-01-2003, 07:39 PM
Rune yelled as Akai lunged at him, her blade drawn. He toppled over as she crashed into him, eager to let the steel of her weapon bite his flesh. "I saw you watching! You sat and watched us as they killed everyone! I hate you!" She broke down sobbing, letting her knife fall from her hand. Her balled fists beat against his chest until he grabbed her by the wrists and held her still. "You watched us die!" She wailed, the tears streaming down her blood soaked face.
"Yes, I watched your people die… but only because I wasn’t sure of what I could do. I wanted to help, Akai. I did."
Her tear filled eyes stared at him, full of hatred. "You wanted nothing but to save yourself."
"I saved you… didn’t I? And Kacela and your King."
"Had it just been me, you wouldn’t have done anything. What’s one lynethe to you? Nothing!"
"Then what’s four of them? Four times the nothing? Besides, how are you to know I would not save you, had you been by yourself?"
"Because one is not worth your time."
"And four is not much more to waste my time on. But I did. And I’m taking you lot home with me to make sure you’re taken care of. Since no one else will do so."
"The reason we were attacked in the first place is because all the races slowly turned against us. The last of which the human… and you are human, Nishan. So are your family members. Will they too shun us as every other race? We fit in no where."
"They won’t shun you! What would make you think that, Akai?"
"We don’t fit in with the humans, because we look and move too much like the elves, and we do not fit in with the elves, because we think and react too much like men. We fit in no where, Nishan. The people of your home will surely close their doors to us."
"You are a foolish girl, Akai. We too have been shunned by many races… Maybe not by all, but by most. They’ll take you in, and let you live there. They do with every outcast. It is our way of getting back at the world…" Rune said gently, releasing her wrists.
Akai tilted her head to the side, then smiled faintly. "When do we get there?"
"By nightfall today."
"Hm… all right. I’ll give you a chance, you’re not so bad, Nishan."

Rune watched her with a small smirk as she ran ahead of him back to where the others still sat. The girl needed a name to suit her attitude, for when they reached the home of the Nishan. Rune already knew what he would call her; Tovi. Rune had grown up with his name, so he could recall no other, but for them it would be harder. Harder to leave everything else behind them, and to start over. Kiros would no longer be king, and Kacela would no longer be cheveyo in Jericho. He could not decide their fates for them, the council would do that. But he could hope things went well…
~~~

Akamai Deredal
11-01-2003, 07:42 PM
By the time they reached the doors of Jericho, Tuari was able to run on his own, the poison having disappeared in his blood stream. Lynethe were much like the elves that way, immortal. Though they could die in battle, or of a broken heart. But something made it hard to kill them by means of poison or other such ways. Or at least that was what Rune understood. They recovered too quickly for the poison to take a deadly hold on their body. Four small gasps were heard, and Rune grinned. The city of Jericho glowed eerily in the moonlight, guiding them.

"Halt! State your name and reason of travel!" Yelled a stout commanding voice, making the small group stop.
"Rune Imaran, sir! I’ve just returned from the Amahdy forest."
"And what was your business there, Rune?"
"To speak with the people that dwell inside the forest, sir!"
"Was your mission successful?"
Rune felt his mouth freeze shut. No one here knew of the wars inside the forest.
"Is something wrong, Rune?"
"No sir… The mission failed. The lynethe were under attack when I reached the borders of their land."
"How many were killed?"
"It’d be easier to count how many have survived… sir."
"What do you mean? The lynethe have always prospered in everything they do. Surely the death toll could not be so high as to out number the living."

The guardsman dropped down in front of them, his only weapon a staff. His blonde hair reflected some of the glow of Jericho. He smiled slightly at Rune, hugging him as he drew closer. He looked at the people accompanying his friend and raised one eyebrow. "I recognize the features of the lynethe, but why bring them here when their land is at war, Rune? Aren’t they needed else where?" The cringes that crossed their faces went unnoticed to him.
"No, Slade… These are the survivors of the attack. The war is over."
"You’re not serious, Rune… Please tell me there are more you haven’t found. More that are coming in a few days time… These can’t be all."
"They’re all that’s left. Run and tell the council I wish to meet with them. I know they’re up at this hour. Go Slade. And tell someone to bring healers. One sports a nirav bite and there are many wounds among them. Go!"
The blonde haired young man pushed the gate open and lead them inside, before taking off down the cobbled street. Kiros gave the gate a rough push, letting it swing into place with a massive creak. The five of them lit down the street after Slade, hearing the toll of a great brazen bell.

~~~

Akamai Deredal
11-01-2003, 07:44 PM
In what must have been the town’s center a small group of people had already congregated. Most of them were human, though there were some elven faces mixed in, as well as a few dwarves. Rune heard a snarl rip through Akai’s throat and it was all he could do to hold her back from one of the members. A nirav stood not more than a pace away from them, and turned to see where the horrifying sound had come from. The creature was midnight black with one dark blue eye, and one dark red eye. It walked over to them, and its features reminded Akai of a dog, tail, ears and all. It seemed to be a mix of a human and a dog, maybe a fox of some sort.
"Rune… why do these people with you stare at me like they want me dead?" The creature asked, rising onto its back legs and tilting it’s head to the side as it spoke.
"It’s not you they want dead, Zev. It’s your race."
"Why? What have those power hungry fools done now?"
Akai was nearly howling with rage as she answered for Rune, "They killed everyone!"
Zev looked at Rune in confusion, "What does she mean?"
"She means that we are the last of our people, because the nirav attacked us." Kiros said flatly.
Zev’s ears lowered and fell back onto his forelegs. "I did not know, good sir. Please do not hold me responsible for anything my race may have done. I never meant any harm towards the lynethe."
"We don’t, but our young friends do not think as openly as we do yet. Though we shall do our best to fix that so that you are safe behind these walls." Kacela said, inclining her head.

Zev’s tail wagged slightly and he pranced around a bit. "Where are you headed, friends?" He said, a small bark added at the end of the sentence. Kacela smiled slightly as Rune let Akai down. "To the council room. These four have yet to be admitted. Care to join?" Rune asked, keeping an eye on Akai. "If the rest in your company do not mind." He mainly looked at Tuari and Akai as he spoke. Tuari nodded, if hesitantly, but Akai simply stared at him for a moment. The silence became tense until she walked up to him and knelt in front of him. Her gray eyes stared curiously into Zev’s red and blue. "They killed everyone I knew, Zev… and one nearly took Tuari’s life from him. They did it. Not you. You are free to join if you wish."

Akai straightened up and followed Rune up the winding road, with Zev trotting lightly beside her, and the others trailing somewhat behind, their whispers of curiosity only dull hisses in even Akai’s ears. Zev’s furry head looked up at her, his red and blue eyes blinking once or twice. "You should not be nervous, little lynethe. The council will treat you kindly."
"I’m not nervous, master Zev."
"Hmph. I can smell it on you, missy. Don’t try and hide it. You may have better eyesight than most here, but I’ve got a better nose." Zev said, chuckling.
"Don’t call me ‘missy’ Zev. You’re not much older than I am."
"Then don’t call me ‘master Zev.’ I hate the name enough as it is."
"You shouldn’t. It suits you well."
"I’ve never been much at deciphering tongues, and no one’s bothered to tell me what it means."
"Wolf."
"Oh… right then. Thank you…"

Akai muttered something before her eyes fell on the Council Hall. Not even in her old home had she laid eyes on such a grand building. A triad of silver, bronze, and gold gilded vines swirled across the heavy oaken doors, which were slowly pushed open. The already airy room suddenly seemed closed in as the doors were pulled back to reveal the high vaulted cathedral ceiling. Posts rose from the different corners of the decagon shaped room arching to the ceiling, inlays of silver trailed up the thick studs. The ceiling was a medley of pictures and sculptures that would take ones breath away. The middle of the room was open; the pinpoint of light that flowed through the high stain-glass windows. Circling around this center were rows of chairs. Chairs as finely crafted as any found in an elven city but with the simple practicalities of comfort put in as well.

Once one's eyes had drifted from the higher ordainments one might note the tasking engraving caved into the floor. The swirl of vines, seeming to have flowed off the doors and twined across the floor, faint though it was silver into white stone. Spiral staircases lined the edge of the room in intervals, leading up to another beautiful room through small gaps in the painted ceiling. The furniture around the room was beautifully hand carved, which Kiros noticed as he ran a hand along the arm of particular high-backed seat. He smiled. Not even a palace in the Amahdy forest was so lavishly constructed. But it did make him feel at home.

Akamai Deredal
11-01-2003, 07:48 PM
Rune sighed and glanced sidelong at the door. "I wish Slade would hurry up with the healers… It’s not wise to keep the council waiting when you’ve summoned them."
Zev sniffed the air and shook his head, one of his ears flopping of as he did so. "He won’t be here for some time, Rune. You’d be best to take them up as they are. Perhaps it will give the council incentive…"
"As they are, Zev? They’re like the walking dead, look at them! They need medical attention now, and preferably before the council… But if what you say is true…" He sighed and beckoned to the others. "Come on, follow me. We’ll be out of here soon enough so you all can get cleaned up afterwards."

Akai stared at her friends as they went up the stairs, wearing a small frown on her face. "Something wrong, Akai?" Zev asked, watching her with his head tilted to the side. She shook her head and let out a small sigh before following their course upstairs. Zev went up one of the side stairwells, rather than the spiral staircase; they were much easier to climb.

Glaring at the doormen, Akai and Zev just barely made it inside with the others. The oaken double doors swung shut behind them as they skidded around the corner. There, Akai nearly bowled Rune over as he came to find her and Zev.
"There you two are! What took you so long?"
"We weren’t that far behind you, Rune… You haven’t been here long." Zev said, gesturing with a paw as he straightened up.

Akai’s mouth hung open slightly as she stared at Zev. He’d never stood up straight around her, so she’d never seen him at full height. Nirav rarely stood that way, even around their own race; it left them too vulnerable. Now Akai only came to his chest, or his shoulders really. Rune laughed as Zev pushed her gently in the direction of Tuari, Kiros and Kacela. Zev then veered off to the right, into a side corridor, his going unnoticed by the others.

The group stopped in front of yet another set of double doors, inlaid with both gold and silver. A few minutes later, Rune reached to open them, and they swung backwards, giving them admittance. The room was plain, but held some sense of importance. Maybe it was because of the five people sitting behind a panel. Three men; a veiled nirav, a dwarf and a human. And two women; a blue skinned kostya, and an elven maiden.

Akai glanced around to find Zev had disappeared. Turning to Rune, she opened her mouth, but **** it when he raised his hand. Inclining his head towards the panel, he murmured, "He’s a council member, Akai. He’ll be sure to take care of you and your friends." Taking her by the arm, Rune led her to the front of the room, where Kiros, Kacela and Tuari already stood.

PippinTook
11-01-2003, 07:52 PM
Thats great akai! Keep up the great work! Lets see what happens next! *sits on edge of seat*

Akamai Deredal
11-01-2003, 08:17 PM
"Rune Imaran, normally we would demand from you why on earth you would call a meeting at this hour, but Zev has already brought us the ill news. Are these the survivors?" The man, Sanjiv, called out, his voice as deep as a bass drum, and about as kind.
"Yes, sir. These are the only survivors of the lynethe race. There are no others."
"Four left. This is a sad day…" Murmured the elven woman, her crystal blue eyes shining with sympathy.
"Rune, what do you want us to do for these poor souls? We cannot take back time." The kostya said, her voice no warmer than the bare fireplaces on either side of the room.
"They have no more kin left, Vatusia. They need a home to live in, people to be around."
"Are you suggesting making them Nishan?" The dwarf rumbled.
"That’s precisely what I mean, Ezhno. They were exiled to the Amahdy, they are not so different than us. You cannot deny them! They have no where else to go! They’ll perish. Please…"
"Hm, Rune… You seem to feel quite strongly about this. Why?" The elven lady spoke softly, but her gaze was piercing.
"I had friends there, Lareina. And this man is one of them. The leader of the lynethe. I owe him something at least."

Sanjiv stood up, staring at Akai, Kacela, Kiros and Tuari. "Do they want to join our ranks Rune? Is that their wish?" The solemn look on the lynethe’s blood streaked faces was enough for the Council members. After holding a brief whispered conference, they turned to face the lynethe. "You are welcome to stay here while your wounds heal, and if you so wish, you can live within these walls as Nishan. Welcome to Jericho." Sanjiv said, holding his arms wide.

Zev held up his paw and addressed the other members of the panel. "If they should decide to stay, they are required to wear their marks. Should we set a date for them to meet here and receive them?" As Tuari looked at Zev, he noticed a glimmer of silver on the creature’s face. His tattoo… I never noticed that before. "No, once they’re washed and healed they’ll receive their marks, Zev. Let them feel some comfort after their long travel." The dwarf, Ezhno said, glancing at the lynethe. The panel members came by, each leading one individual off somewhere; Kiros with Sanjiv, Kacela with Lareina, Tuari with Ezhno, Akai with Vatusia, and Rune with Zev.
~~~
The next time Rune saw his friends, they all bore their own mark on their faces. Kiros wore leaf from the rare inara tree, its dark green shape cast over his eye, the inlaid silver ink making it shine like metal. Kacela’s mark was a simple gold four-point star in the corner of her left eye. Tuari wore a symbol below his left eye that meant "eagle" in the Old Voice, with a feather shadowed behind it. And on Akai’s face was a tattoo of a midnight black cross with an actual gem in the center and a red dot in each corner. Silver lines encased the cross in a diamond. The ink shimmered as if the lines were made of metal, and the gem was a ghostly white. Rune knew he’d seen the symbol before, but he couldn’t remember where.

"Impressive. Say, Akai, have you seen Zev anywhere?" Rune asked the girl. She looked up at him, then continued on with what she was doing. "Akai, I know you can hear me. You aren’t deaf. Answer me."
"If she won’t talk to you, she won’t talk to you Rune. She’s hit one of her moods. Leave her be." Tuari snapped, making Rune take a step back.
"Sorry… I was only asking. Don’t be so defensive, Tuari."
"You don’t have to yell it at her."
"I wasn’t yelling!"
Kiros laughed, "If you weren’t before, you are now. Not that it matters. Akai’s deaf to the world right now. Just give her time."
"Right… I’ll see what I can do. Anyway, has anyone seen Zev."
Kacela nodded. "He’s behind you, Rune."

The others laughed as Rune whirled around, nearly knocking the creature over. Zev waved a clawed hand at the lynethe, "Hello everyone. It’s about time for us all to go to bed. Would you like me to show you your wonderful abodes?" They all laughed and followed him down the street. Akai ran ahead a ways, seemingly eager to look around. "Don’t go too far, little one." Zev called after her. "I’m not little, Zev. I might just be older than you." She shouted back, laughing. Zev snorted, and muttered to Rune, "I’d bet my tail and my right ear that I’m more than twice her age. But we won’t tell her that… I don’t think I’ve seen her laugh since she’s been here." They watched as she darted around a corner, her feet kicking loose rocks from underneath her as she turned. A loud curse echoed through the alleys, and Akai went flying past the corner, and rolling across the street.
~~~

Akamai Deredal
11-01-2003, 08:18 PM
A tall figure took a quick step forward to keep his balance as Akai ran straight into his back. He hardly even flinched except for the half step, but Akai was sent rolling back into the street somehow. The light skinned young man turned around to see what had tried to run him over, seeing Akai scurry to her feet in anger and practically stomp towards him. She began to shout at him, but Tokala didn't pay attention to what she was saying. He was too busy trying not to laugh at the sight of what looked like an elf yell at him, when she was a good half foot shorter than him. She took another step towards him, getting in his face as much as she could. I wonder what would happen if I... He grinned mischievously, then in an instant put his foot behind hers and struck her with an open palm in the mid-stomach. The lynethe tripped then rolled to the dusty ground with another curse. She got back up, faster this time and with twice the anger. "You don't have to shout you know..." He said in a calm tone that matched the peaceful green color of his eyes.

Her mouth clicked shut and she eyed the man in front of her. She would’ve been lucky to have reached the man’s shoulder when standing on her tiptoes. Turning her head at a faint clicking noise, Akai saw Zev come running up on all fours and skidding to a stop at her feet. "Are yo-" He stopped as he realized who had knocked Akai down. Laughing he straightened up again, and shook his head. "You bastard, she hasn’t been here a day and you knock her down the first second you lay eyes on her."
Tokala grinned slightly, "Zev, you son of a bitch I haven’t seen you all day. Where’ve you been.? And technically, I only just saw her, she tried to run me down from behind."
"Don’t make such comments about my mother. You don’t even know her."
Meanwhile, Akai stood to the side, blinking as the conversation whipped past her. "You know, you don’t have to talk over me."
Tokala looked down at her and laughed again, "It’s hard not to. You’re a little bit short really."
Akai’s eyes narrowed and she glared at Tokala, balling her hands into fists but not saying anything.
"Oh… that was a bad idea, Tokala… You’ve made her mad now. I don’t think that’s a good thing honestly. She’s scary enough as it is."
"She’s half a foot shorter than me, Zev. What on earth could she do? She’s unarmed and she certainly is not quick on her feet."

Akai’s glared intensified and the air around her suddenly grew unbearably warm, though she didn’t seem to notice. Tokala and Zev both edged away from her, very wary of her now that she’d done something, whatever it was. Zev could feel the ends of his fur getting singed from the heat that radiated off of Akai. Her fists unclenched themselves, and a few short seconds later fire sprang up in her palms, which rapidly grew in size until each one engulfed her whole hand. "Thyn feol wyn kade, Nishan!" She snarled, the fire leaving her hands and going straight for his head and chest. Tokala moved aside just was they whizzed by, but it was too close for comfort. He could feel the burn on the side of his face, and his clothes were charred. "Fiery temper I see." He said before he burst out laughing. Akai’s face fell and she continued down the street past him.

Akamai Deredal
11-01-2003, 08:20 PM
"What was that she said, Zev?" Tokala asked after a few minutes. He was still laughing at what the girl had done, when three others like her appeared around the corner.
"She said, ‘I hope you burn, Marked One.’ I hope she didn’t do too much damage. She’s still learning those techniques, so sometimes she can’t control the flow of it." Kacela said, standing beside Zev.
"Well that was a neat little trick she pulled. What’s her name?"
"Akai. Why do you ask?"
"Hm, depends. Does she use any other weapons?"
"Other than her bare hands… No, I do not believe so. She seems to favor some sort of martial arts… Now again, why do you ask?"
"In a few days, have Zev bring her to my neck of the woods. I could teach her a bit more, and maybe she could teach me something."
"You mean if she’ll even speak to you. She only talks once and a while. And that’s usually in our language… which not many people know anymore." Kiros said, scratching at his beard.
"What was that she was speaking anyway?"
"Oh, the lynethe Old Voice. She’s been speaking it for years."
"Hm, well anyway. I’m Tokala… Sorry about getting in your friend’s way." He extended his hand to Kiros, who shook it.
"Akai’s always like that. I’m Kiros, this is Kacela, and Tuari. You already know Zev and Rune I take it."

Tokala muttered something before saying, "I should probably go, you lot like quite tired. Quite tired indeed... I'll see you later Zev, Rune, and maybe I'll 'run in to you' later Akai." She turned around at her name, "What?" He chuckled, "Maybe I'll see you later." She shrugged and continued walking. With that he turned and walked the opposite direction with a short wave to Rune, Zev, and the strangers he had just met.
They walked in near silence to a small inn, at which Zev gave each of them a few golden coins and told them that their rooms were ready and he would see them in the morning to show them around Jericho.
~~~
Tuari woke up the next morning to Zev and Rune’s voices shouting at him from the main room. Groaning, he rolled out of his bed and walked to the door. Opening it, he caught Rune’s hand as the man went to hammer the door, or more likely his face. "I’m up. What did I do?" He muttered groggily. Rune laughed, "You haven’t been up for five minutes and already you ask what you’ve done wrong. Get dressed, Zev’s rousing the others so he can give the lot of you a tour inside the city walls." Tuari nodded and held the door open, "Come in… there should be something for you to eat up here, so help yourself, I’ll be back shortly." He left Rune to scavenge among the remainder of his meal as he went and changed out of his small clothes. A few minutes later, he returned to find Rune munching on some thin bread waiting for him to leave. He hoped the others hadn’t left already; Rune looked quite impatient.

Akamai Deredal
11-01-2003, 08:22 PM
Shutting the door to his room, Tuari followed a muttering Rune downstairs into the lobby, where the others were. Akai was sprawled on in front of the hearth, flames dancing in her hands. Tuari did a double-take, nearly tripping over his own feet. He’d forgotten about Akai’s lessons. Rarely ever did a lynethe take up magic; it upset the balance of nature somehow. Ill fortuned usually drove the user mad, bit it had only just started taking hold of Akai. Soon after taking up the study of magic, the nirav attacked, killing her family, and very nearly killing her as well. That’s when she stopped talking to anyone in English, when she started studying foreign languages and more forbidden magic, when she started to grow distant and become irritable and violent. So much had changed.

Kacela too was watching Akai as the flames changed color and size. Her dark blue eyes looked up at his entrance and she smiled. Something about her reminded him of home, and for a second he could see the trees of Amahdy behind her, and her scythe in her hand once again. "Tuari, hurry or we’ll leave you behind." Zev said in his ear, making the young man jump. "Will I be able to sleep then?" Zev laughed and pushed him out into the street. Where do you want to go first?" Rune was saying. Akai shrugged, "What is there to see, Nishan?" She smirked slightly as Rune glared at her.
"Stop calling me that!" He snapped.
"But it’s what you are."
"And what you are too, Akai." He could beat her at this.
"Then call me that if you wish."
"And call everyone by the same name?" His voice sounded thin in patience.
"Yes," she answered simply, looking innocent.
"Ugh… I have a name, Akai. Use it." Maybe not…
"Why would I wish to use your name? Then you would have nothing to answer to."
"Just call me Rune! Gods help me! You win!"

Akai smiled slightly, and nodded, obviously satisfied with his reaction. The others laughed at the two of them. "Rune… what is there to see?" Kiros asked, his look taking some of the wind out of Akai’s sails. "Well, there’s the rest of the inns, other shops and bakeries. Smithies and stables. The training ground and armory…" At the last part Akai’s eyes flashed and Kacela nodded happily. Kiros and Tuari laughed. "We all know where we’re going now, so let’s go." Rune said, shaking his head.

Akamai Deredal
11-01-2003, 08:24 PM
The six of them walked down a short road to a tall, stone, roofless building with a half shading net that was spread over the top, held in place by wooden posts spaced evenly along the top edge. The clattering sounds of steel versus steel could be heard faintly as they approached, making Akai's eyes light up but bringing back bad memories for the other lynethe. When they reached the front gate Zev explained to the gatekeeper what they were doing an who they were. He nodded and swung open the tall iron door to the grounds. At least three dozen people were there, some fighting with swords, some fighting with magic, some fighting with bare hands. Each of them were in their own segmented section within the grounds, and at least one robed official stood on the sidelines. Akai watched two very tall and heavy humans attack each other violently with massive and well crafted swords. The two metals created a flash when they struck against each other, it seemed as if the two were trying to kill each other. Akai winced as one finally came down hard on the other one's shoulder. He shouted and grabbed the wound, but no blood came forth. Instead the only sign that he had been struck was a bruise forming, other then the profanities of course. The official nodded in approval towards the victor as he began to search for another fight. "They're all protected by magical barriers," Zev said as he noticed Akai's slight confusion, "It makes the bouts more realistic, actual swords can be used instead of wooden ones or some other replacement." She nodded, the idea of these training grounds seeming to delight her all the more.

Akai's gaze drifted to a tall, thin man with black hair. She seemed to recognize him, but couldn't tell from where. He held a wickedly curved, razor sharp sickle in each hand. He spun both of them a few times, idly. His opponent eyed him cautiously. The taller of the two, the sickle holder, took a good hold of his weapons and preformed a very practiced and quick pattern. He seemed to do it more out of show than for actual battle technique. His enemy, who was of a race that Akai had never seen before, lunged at him with his broadsword quickly, irritated by his taunting. The black haired man stepped to the side gracefully and caught the weapon in the ring of his sickle, and with a swift spin brought his other sickle in to the back of his opponent. This time Akai spotted the faint light from the barrier Zev had told her about, keeping him from death but letting him feel the piercing pain in his back. The man sank to the ground on his knees, trying not to cry out in pain. Zev let out a howling noise at the sight of his friend's victory. With a grin the sickle wielder bowed, letting his hair fall in front of his face. He stood up and walked away from the fighting ring and towards Zev. "Good job Tokala," Zev said. Tokala?, Akai thought to herself. "Why thank you Zev," He replied. He definitely resembled Tokala, but there was something different. He has dark skin, She realized, It was white the night before.
~~~

Akamai Deredal
11-01-2003, 08:26 PM
Tuari felt Kiros’ hand land on his shoulder. "You don’t look like you’ve gotten enough sleep. You can go back to the Inn if you’d like. I think I’m going to grab something to eat. We can leave the women to their fun." Laughing, the two of them started off down the street, leaving Akai and Kacela to glare at their backs. Zev and Tokala only laughed.

“I wonder what sent them off so fast. Tuari doesn’t look like he’s feeling well." Tokala said, watching as the two men turned the corner. "Oh who cares. They’re men. They can do what they want, when they want without being questioned." Kacela said, her voice not holding any of the bitterness it would have, had any other woman said it. She smiled at Zev and Tokala, inclining her head slightly. "I think I’m going to have a look around this place… Might even play a bit." Zev chuckled, "Take it easy on them, Kacela. I don’t think any of them have ever fought one of the cheveyo." "The only thing I can hurt is their pride, Zev. And if they allow me to do that, then they needed the loss." She replied over her shoulder as she headed towards a sectioned area where she could entertain herself for a while.

Akai was still busy trying to figure out why Tokala’s skin had changed over night. Giving her head a small shake she decided it was only her imagination. I only imagined his skin being lighter… After all, it was fairly late and we all had been running the majority of the day… Yes, I only imagined it. "What brought you all down this way so early in the day, Zev? I thought you were going to show them around Jericho." Zev’s ears twitched slightly, changing their angle of their own accord. "I was, Tokala, but the ladies here wanted to come this way before any other." The nirav was watching Kacela with a scythe she’d picked up from the small case mounted on the wall. The weapon wasn’t as large as her own, but it seemed to matter very little to her.

Those who had been in the small arena were now staring at Kacela in surprise, which was understandable. She wielded the scythe with such speed it was but a blur. Tokala laughed, "I pity those that stand and gape at the woman. They might not be used to fighting against one, but they had better learn to accept it and quickly or they’ll surely feel the bite of that blade. Fools, if we ever went to war, they’d be surprised to see the number of women warriors these days." Zev’s different colored eyes followed Kacela’s movements in their fluidity but his words were directed at Tokala, "Do you really think we’d ever go to war, Tokala? We are but a small fraction of other cities, and therefore not even a reasonable force to consider." The man shrugged, "There is no harm in being prepared, Zev. In my years of training I’ve learned that much. If you aren’t, you die, it’s that simple." "Well aren’t we a little ray of sunshine?" Rune said, making Tokala laugh. Zev smirked, "If we aren’t careful Rune, we’ll get a sunburn."
~~~

Akamai Deredal
11-01-2003, 08:38 PM
And that would be the end of my second chapter. The third one is nearly finished, though I won't send anything until it is. Let me know what you all think of it. :D

PippinTook
11-01-2003, 10:17 PM
very good akai! I am waiting for that third chapter! very good! I am intrigued by the guy with the changing face! and akai's personality is very well formed. I like zev, but what kind of animal is he supposed to be?

pip

Akamai Deredal
11-02-2003, 04:03 PM
Zev is based on a wolf-ish creature. Able to stand on hindlegs and speak much like a human, he thinks like them too, but he has the distinct features of a canine; fur, body structure (such as snout, tail, paws, etc).

Akamai Deredal
11-02-2003, 04:06 PM
Turning her head, Akai watched as Tokala felled his second challenger. The look on his face was somewhat smug, making Akai’s old anger burst into flame again. She stormed off towards the fighting area. "Tokala!" She snapped, making his eyes swivel over to her instantly. "What do you want?" He asked, idly spinning one sickle. "Fight me."

He raised an eyebrow, "You don't have a weapon." "I don't need one," She replied, making no effort to hide the annoyance in her voice. He shrugged and turned around, "Alright." After a short two steps he stood at a slightly offset center to the fighting ring. Akai placed herself parallel to Tokala and spread her feet and hands in fighting stance. The blond haired man that stood on the sidelines, which were made of white ropes laid on the ground, raised his hand, "Are you both ready?" Both Tokala and Akai nodded. He dropped his hands quickly, "Fight!" They began circling each other, each of them tense. Tokala loosened his stance the more they revolved, spinning his sickles once again. He never strikes the first blow... Akai thought to herself. He hesitated slightly, "Well, you're the one without a weapon. How about you attack first?" Akai shook her head, "Be my guest." Tokala tried to hide the grimace across his face, but Akai noticed anyway. Tokala reversed his steps and swing one sickle at Akai's face. She ducked under it with ease. The next sickle came lower, Tokala hadn't missed a single step of his momentum. Akai caught him by the elbow using both her arms in an "L" shape.

She struck a quick and light blow to his stomach before they both backed away. Akai smirked at Tokala, saying nothing but mocking him more then plenty with her face. She wasn't going down as easily as the others. Tokala lunged at her again. This time he swung in a upwards motion with his left hand, attempting to land a rough blow in to her jaw. She slid out of the way just in time, the sickle blurring cruelly past her face and catching some of her hair. She slid her feet fluidly around so she was facing his back and moved her hands in a seemingly random pattern. It was obvious she had memorized this pattern, and practiced it more then daily, for her hands we but a blur as a fire swelled in to them. Tokala spun around just in time to meet a hot blast in the face. He dropped low to the ground and stumbled around while holding his face with a shout. Akai burst out laughing, making him open his eyes and glare fiercely at her. "I'll have you know that burns like hell," Tokala said as he stood up and readied himself again. She nodded, "I could tell by your face."

Akamai Deredal
11-02-2003, 04:07 PM
Still laughing, Akai spun around, mocking Tokala yet again by turning her back on him. Taking the hint, Tokala leapt forward, both sickles spinning quickly enough to make a small whirring in the air. Just as he reached her, she turned her head towards him, raising one hand and making a small movement with it, freezing one sickle in place, as well as his feet. "What the…" Akai grinned wickedly at him, her hands moving in a slower, more deliberate pattern, and a small blue light starting to grow between her palms. Using his free hand, Tokala lashed out with his remaining sickle and struck Akai across the nose with the flat of the blade, making her shout and stagger backwards. Her hands went to her face, the blue glow fading instantly, and the invisible bonds releasing his arm and legs. Chuckling to himself, Tokala imitated the grin Akai had given him.

Akai lashed out at him, swinging wildly at his face. Her eyes seemed dark and foreboding, as if Tokala had driven a splinter into her spirit. She caught him off guard for a minute, almost hitting him hard in the face a few times. The taller man evaded her blows and hooked her fist in the crook of his sickle. Akai yanked at it once and hard, Tokala put up no resistance and let her pull him towards her. He spun around to her back again and caught the other wrist with the sickle. Akai shouted something as he put his knee in the middle of her back and pulled. She was stuck.
~~~

Akamai Deredal
11-02-2003, 04:09 PM
Tuari lay in his bed, staring out the windows of his bedroom. The view was outstanding, even he had to admit that, the way it looked out over the pale walls of Jericho and out into the mountains into the far north. It was nothing compared to his old home though. This was his home now, a city behind stone walls. A city of outcasts that had taken him and the others in. But still… He watched the horizon sadly, his eyes falling onto the thick column of smoke rising from the Amahdy forest. That was his home. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he turned over in his bed. Something inside of him felt as if it were tearing him apart, he could feel it. The ache grew as the vision of the smoke plumes burned themselves into his mind. With a choking sob, Tuari buried his face into his pillow, trying to block out the horrible visions in his head. Visions of his friends and family, of his home… of his life before everything had ended so abruptly.

Another person had seen the slowly rising tower of smoke on the horizon. Kiros was sitting upon the Northern wall, perched precariously, looking almost as if he wished to jump. Thoughts similar to Tuari's drifted through his mind. Memories of friends now dead, and family slaughtered. Yet he could not let his heart be saddened by all that had happened. He had three people, three friends, that he had yet to take care of. Here, he might not be king, but they were still friends, and his only family left. He would not let them be taken from him. Rising slowly, Kiros glanced once more at the blackened cloud in the almost clear sky before he headed for the gate and the stairs.
~~~

Akamai Deredal
11-02-2003, 04:11 PM
Struggling against Tokala's grip, Akai threw insult after insult in the Old Voice at him, demanding for him to let her go. With her arms pinned back the way they were, and Tokala's knee planted firmly against her back, Akai was stuck. Any way she could think of to get out and away from him involved her possibly breaking an arm or a leg, or maybe even being skewered on the end of one of his accursed sickles. There's always the barrier… She thought to herself, then brushed that idea away. She might not get cut, but she'd still feel the bite of the blade. And Tokala would win… Again, Akai squirmed, still trying to get Tokala to release her, when she heard him laughing. He was laughing… at her! Throwing another insult at him, Akai lunged forward, ripping her arms out of his grip and taking his sickles with her. His laughter ended abruptly. Throwing the blades to the side carelessly she launched herself at him, kicking multiple times in her sudden burst of anger. Each kick he dodged, the smug smile on his face slowly returning to replace the startled look. Akai's onslaught slowly lessened in its ferocity, and Tokala grabbed her foot as she aimed a kick to his chest. Holding her there, he started laughing again, getting dark glare from her. In an instant, Akai leapt up off the ground and twisted her foot in Tokala's grip. Her bare foot struck him squarely on the nose, and she could feel the cartilage break under the force of the kick. Instantly, Tokala let her go, shouting and holding his hand over his nose.
~~~
Rune grimaced as Tokala yelled, "Zev, don't you think someone ought to go and stop the fight before they find some way to kill each other?" Zev looked at him in disbelief. "Are you insane?! I'm not going in there," he lowered his ears, "I'll get killed." Rune laughed, making Zev shakes his head. Kacela came up between the pair, her borrowed scythe in her hand. What's going on over here?" She asked, peering past the both of them, only to see Akai follow Tokala as he went down. Blood covered half of the man's face, but he seemed oblivious to it as he tried to keep Akai from landing any of her punches. Kacela laughed softly and shook her head, "Someone's going to have to stop them soon. This is going southward, and quickly." Zev's ears flipped up quickly, "I already told Rune I wasn't going in there!" She smiled kindly at him, "Then you're a smart man. They'd skin you alive and use you as a throw rug. Or at least Akai would right now. Tokala's lucky she hasn't done that to him already." The three of them laughed, if slightly nervously as they watched the two out of the corner of their eyes.
~~~
Having given up on trying to block Akai, Tokala struggled to get to his feet. His eyes watered horribly, and his thoughts slowed as if stunned by the sharp pain in his nose. Akai's closed fist landed far too close to his nose for comfort, and Tokala winced. It hurt bad enough without her continuing to crush it, as well of the rest of his face. Opening his eyes to see if he might be able to block a few other of her punches, Tokala glanced up at Akai. The girl stopped suddenly, surprise written all over her features. His normally green eyes had changed to a startling yellow. She only had time to blink once or twice before the back of Tokala's hand swung up and hit her in the face. Akai flinched and half stumbled, half rolled away from him.

Akamai Deredal
11-02-2003, 04:13 PM
Turning over, Tokala started to push himself up, having bought himself a short amount of time to do so. But Akai wasn't all that far away. Grabbing a fistful of the dirt she lay on, she rolled over and threw it in Tokala's eyes, making him yell and hit the ground yet again. Muttering something to herself, Akai scrambled up and threw herself at him. Tokala raised his foot and caught her in the stomach, quickly stopping her rush. Grunting, he used her momentum against her, sending her sailing over him to land flat on her back. Pushing himself up, he stumbled over to where his sickles lay, still trying to get the dirt out of his eyes. He found Akai sliding between himself and his weapons, still trying to regain her breath. One hand clutched her side and her face showed some of her struggle to breathe. I couldn't have hurt her that badly… Still he hesitated and she took the opportunity to run at him again. Turning his shoulder to her, Tokala knocked her to the side, sending her tumbling over the official and knocking him down. As he reached for his sickles, a hoarse yell made him turn around, rather than grab the weapons.

Akai's short form slammed into Tokala, sending the two of them crashing across the ring. Tokala grunted as Akai's knee found his ribs. "Get off me woman!" He grunted, trying to push her away. She wouldn't budge. Stubborn girl! Instinctively his hand went to hit her in the face, but a quick glimpse of his fingers made him pull his hand back. Even still, he clawed Akai across the cheek and lip. His hands, like his eyes, had changed. He now had claws.

Akai's stifled scream still pierced Tokala's ears as she stumbled away from him, spurred by surprise, fear and pain. Rising from the ground slowly, and scrubbing the rest of the dirt from his bloodied face, Tokala grabbed his sickles and watched Akai. The girl had made it to the corner and was gingerly touching one of the ragged cuts along her cheek. Her light gray eyes flickered slightly, and she looked up at him. Straightening herself up, she dropped her hand from the cuts and stared directly at Tokala, her breathing as heavy as his. They two of them stood like that for a while, oblivious to everything and everyone around them. Thinking nothing else would happen, Tokala turned to exit the arena to get cleaned up. The slight sound of footfalls made his head turn slightly, before being jumped on and collapsing to the all too familiar ground. He groaned, having grown too tired to do anything in retaliation. Thankfully, Akai crawled away from him and she too hit the ground. Neither of them made an attempt to get up; they just lay there, staring at either the shading net above or the dusty ground they'd become well acquainted with.
~~~

Akamai Deredal
11-02-2003, 04:15 PM
Tokala sighed deeply, "Are you finished?" Akai coughed dust and nodded. "Yes, I think so," she said between breaths. "Good, because I'm pretty sure you broke my nose," He touched the swelling red lump tenderly. "Well you did no better! What were you trying to do, rip my lip off?" Tokala chuckled slightly, "Maybe then you would stop screaming at me in that, whatever it is." "It's the old language of the lynethe." Kacela said abruptly. The two raised their heads to look at her, seeing her, Zev, and Rune standing above them. "That was quite a show you two had going," Rune chuckled. Tokala sighed again and dropped his head to the ground, "She was trying to kill me I swear..." "I would have helped you, but, ugh, she's scary," Zev said sheepishly. "Thanks a lot Zev..." Akai muttered. She stood up slowly and dusted herself off.

Tokala shook his head, "I'm going to just lay here for a little while if you four don't mind..." Akai touched her lip, pulling her hand away sharply once she did. The lynethe glanced down at his hands, "What did you hit me with?" He shrugged, "My hand..." "But it made me bleed, a lot." Zev chuckled, "He's kind of weird Akai, you'll get used to it if you don't kill him." She glared at him, making his ears tuck back. Tokala slowly and gently stood himself, holding his hands out around him for balance. "I had odd parents Akai, the races didn't mix so I... change a lot. It's been like that from birth." He ran his thumb across his fingernails. "I think I hit you with my claws. I didn't mean to, it's just a reaction." She stared at him, confusion written all over her face. He looked up and chuckled, "I'd explain it, but right now I need to get my nose fixed... I'll see you sometime later Zev." "Take care Tokala," He said in reply. The black haired man half staggered near the gate and into a small, small door laid inside one of the walls. Akai guessed that it led to the infirmary, though where the rooms were, she didn’t know.

Kacela took Akai’s arm and laid it over her shoulder. “And Kiros though Tuari looked tired. Too bad he didn’t stay a while longer. He would’ve had a good laugh watching the two of you. Now come, let’s go get you cleaned up to.” The woman said, her tone kind and gentle, not sounding at all like the cold-hearted woman she had when Rune had first come across them. Akai muttered, “Yes mother,” in a sarcastic tone that awarded her a nice thump on the head. Letting the older woman lead her towards the same building Tokala had disappeared into, Akai heard Rune laughing quietly. Twisting her hands quickly, she brought a small fire into her hand, and aimed it at the man’s feet. The sound of a startled shout brought a tiny grin to her face as Kacela opened the door and drug her inside. Akai quickly realized that rooms lined the inside of the wall most of the way, most likely either built this way, or carved out of the stone.

A quiet grumbling came from one corner, and Akai turned to see who sat there. A very tall woman leaned against the wall, nursing a broken arm. Her skin was a dark chocolate brown and her hair was just a shade darker. She flashed a sympathetic smile at Akai, her neon yellow eyes glinting with a turn of her head. A lightning bolt of the same yellow lay high up on her right cheek bone, and piercing marked her face and ears. Akai could not help but smile back, no matter how fearsome she appeared.

“Come on, Akai. Do you want a scar to run down your face for the rest of your life?” Kacela asked, pulling her to a small seat.
“Not exactly, but there would be four, Kacela. Besides, they’ll scar anyway. Too deep not to.”

Akamai Deredal
11-02-2003, 04:17 PM
Kacela frowned somewhat as Akai took a seat on the ground. The cuts on her face were fairly deep, and the edges were ragged. Weird was what Zev said… That would be an understatement. Wiping some of the blood from Akai’s face, Kacela smiled down at the girl, though there was a tinge of sadness on her face. “You never used to be so violent, Akai. Not this badly. Both your father and mother were cheveyo, so fighting is in your blood. But I never expected…” She trailed off as she saw the flames of anger growing in Akai’s eyes.

“I don’t need to be lectured, Kacela! I’ve heard this before. You try living in a family of warriors! All you do is train and fight, train and fight over and over again! I could never do anything right. Where I failed, my little brother succeeded… I wanted to make them proud of me, do you understand that at least? I found something I liked that would make them proud and prove them wrong! But now they’re dead. Nothing to prove, no one to make proud, but still I study magic. I can’t just stop, Kacela… Once you’ve tapped into it, your heart always yearns for more… but sometimes I get so tired. I can’t control it anymore… it’s almost like it’s a part of me. I can’t help being the way I am. It controls me…”

Kacela’s face hid her emotions too well now, as she stared at Akai. Her gaze was calculating and Akai could not meet her eyes. Turning her head aside, she glared at the floor. “Akai… are you all right?” The woman’s voice was cold again and Akai flinched. “I’m fine.” Her words were clipped and Kacela grimaced. Grabbing her by the chin, the older woman forced Akai to face her. Rather than saying anything, she again wiped some of the blood running down the girl’s face. Wincing, Akai pulled away quickly, snarling something in the Old Voice at the cheveyo. Kacela frowned and let her hands fall onto her lap in resignation. A few moments later, a woman robed in white stepped out into the main room, taking the other woman from the corner, and then returning to lead Akai down the hall.

A loud bellow echoed down the hall as Akai followed the robed woman. “Damn you, Akai!” Came another shout, and Akai cringed. Tokala must’ve had to have his nose rebroken so it wouldn’t heal crooked. Suddenly, Akai realized she wasn’t too keen on crossing paths with the man any time soon. Willing the woman ahead of her to move faster, Akai kept her eyes straight ahead of her, rather than looking inside the other rooms.

Tokala stumbled out of a room behind her. He glanced at her and shook his head, "They broke it again," He grumbled, "As if you breaking it the first time wasn't enough..." His words were barely audible as he walked back down the hallway. Akai put a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter, but recoiled quickly. Looking down at her hand, she saw the blood smeared across her fingers. Smirking slightly, she wondered how badly the cuts were really bleeding. The woman led Akai into a small room, telling her in a soft voice to be seated.
~~~

Akamai Deredal
11-02-2003, 04:19 PM
Kacela watched Tokala stride down the wall, his hand gingerly touching his nose, as if he hoped it would stop hurting. He inclined his head in a quick greeting, before pushing open the door with his shoulder. After the door had closed, Kacela leaned against the wall with a tired sigh. Honestly she didn’t feel much like waiting for Akai, for some reason. She’d much rather look around the city, see what there was. Standing up, the brief thought of Akai finding her way back to the Inn crossed her mind, but it soon disappeared. The girl really could take care of herself, when the time called for it. “Forgive me Akai… my curiosity seems to have gotten the better of me.” Kacela murmured quietly before pushing the door open.

Kiros found himself staggering backwards as he tried to avoid being hit by the infirmary door as it swung open. Kacela stopped abruptly, looking up at him. “Tokala told me I would find you and Akai here, but where’s Akai?” He asked, peering in over her shoulder. Pushing him away from the door and letting it swing shut Kacela led him towards the gate as she spoke. “She’s getting some wounds treated, Kiros. Nothing too serious, trust me!” She added the last bit as Kiros went to slam his heels into the ground and turn around. “What happened?” “Nothing serious, I told you already. She just had a bit of a tiff with Tokala…”
~~~
Tokala walked casually through the training courts and to the ring where he and Akai had fought, passing beside several ongoing fights without noticing. He kept his head down and tapped his nose lightly. With a sigh he picked up the two sickles that he'd left in the dirt during the fight, This is going to hurt for at least a month. He stood back up, suddenly noticing the soil him and Akai had fought on. Foot prints, outlines of bodies, blood, and deep toe marks littered the small space. He shook his head with a chuckle and walked towards the iron gate that led back to the road. "I never want to fight that insane half-elf again!" He said loudly to himself. "I'm not a half-elf!" He heard a voice yell from behind him. With a groan he turned around, Akai stood next to the wooden infirmary door. "Lynethe, whatever," Tokala replied to her.

“At least you can get that straight.” She said, heading towards him. He muttered, “You’re still insane if you ask me. Besides, you never denied it either.” Her grin was wicked as she reached him. “I have my moments, Tokala.” The cuts in her face had been stitched up and Tokala fought to keep from feeling guilty. She broke my nose after all… Deserved it. “Any idea where I can find something to eat? Haven’t eaten yet.” Tokala shrugged, “I’m sure if you walked you’d find something…” Her grin lost its maliciousness and she nodded. “Well, thanks for an interesting morning Tokala. Sorry about that,” she indicated his nose with a nod of her head, “Maybe I’ll see you around here another time.” “Well don’t run into me next time.” Tokala called after her as she headed for the main gates. Her laughter was light, and he smirked. She might just be a tolerable person after all…

Akamai Deredal
11-02-2003, 04:20 PM
And that is all I have so far of my third chapter. Things are still a bit sketchy and I've had to make lots of corrections here and there so please forgive any run on sentences etc. I'm working on fixing those, I promise. And I know I said I wouldn't post the third chapter until it was finished, but i lied, lol I couldn't keep you all waiting. :D Hope you all enjoy what I have so far.

PippinTook
11-02-2003, 10:22 PM
Bravo! very good. the fight seen was long, but didn't repeat itself, so it was okay. I am proud!

pip

Akamai Deredal
11-05-2003, 08:27 PM
To whom ever's been reading my work... This particular story has been put on hold for right now. I have no idea how long it will stay like that, but there is another story that I've started if anyone wishes to direct their attention there. :) Sorry for this, really... but it happens a lot. O=D