Mustang! (poem)

[Fimbrethil]

Mustang! Free spirited and running wild way back when. Leading his herd across grass filled plains, his head up high he rears to the sky and cries his happiness to the sun. With a leap he's off again ears pricked, tail plumed galloping toward the rising sun.
Mustang. Standing still behind a fence now. No herd to lead, no grass filled plains, only dust and work. His head hangs low, ears not pricked to hear the small, sweet foals that should be there. With tail now dropped he lifts his head and cries one last time to the setting sun.

I wrote this for my english 9 honers class and to just to make it clear you would not eleive the boneheads they put in that class. I had a very hard time trying to get them to see that this didn't have to about a horse, it could be about whatever you wanted it to be old age, a new day beginning and ending. Whatever you interperted(sp?) it as. It was very frustrating so I thought I'd post this hear and see if you guys got what I meant by it could be about whatever. What do you think?

[Lizra]

I get it! Ain't life sad! :( Good Job Fimbrethil

[Fimbrethil]

Thanks Lizra!:) Finally someone understands my troubled soul.:rolleyes:

[Lizra]

Hey...misery loves company! ;)

[Ianua]

Beautiful work, hope you got a good mark for it :D

[Fimbrethil]

Thank you! Do you get what I mean by it though?

[IronParrot]

You call it a poem in the thread title but it reads more like a prose snippet. I don't mean this as a bad thing - just that it feels that way stylistically. It might be because of the paragraphing, but I think even the full-sentence style and the word choice you have going there lends itself to one of those "100-word short fiction contests" and the like. :)

I applaud you for thinking outside the box.

The rest of you - if you were given the word "Mustang", what poem would you write?

[Lizra]

I'd write a cooking column piece on the discovery of fantastic mustards, concluding with the definition of a great mustard....sweet, complex but ultimately full of mus "tang". :p

[Elvedans]

It's a nice piece:) However i'm slightly put out at how almost every poem i've read on the moot is depressing. People seem to think that to be beautiful poetry has to be about something sad. It doesn't. But i do like your Mustang. It's sweet.

[Fimbrethil]

Hey thanks. I did want it to be a poem but I couldn't see mto get the words out in any other way than the way I did it. I geuss now that have that to look at I'll try it again...but I'm not promisin anything. I didn't think it was that depressing, actually I don't find it drepressing at all...I'm gonna add another verse, provided it mess up what the message is, to show you that it's not depressing. I have other stuff...oh, I have one that's really good (I think) wanna hear it? Mustard....eesh! :rolleyes: