Return of the King Predictions

[Black Breathalizer]

In addition to being known as "The Enlightened One" here at Entmoot, I'm also a brilliant psychic. :) Here are my crystal ball predictions for The Return of the King:

1. The picture will be as eagerly anticipated this fall as The Phantom Menace was in the spring of 1999. Only with ROTK, the pre-movie buzz will add fuel to the fire whereas the pre-movie buzz was a damper for TPM. The vast majority of the critics will use words like "modern-day classic" and "greatest adventure of all time."

2. The movie will have the biggest opening weekend numbers ever seen in December.

3. The movie will become only the second film in movie history to break the 1 billion dollar world mark as a theatrical release.

4. On Sunday night, February 29th, the film will win a best picture Oscar and a best director Oscar will go to Peter Jackson.

5. Sean Astin will be nominated for a best supporting actor Oscar but my crystal ball is cloudy on whether or not he will win.

6. The incredible success of ROTK at the box office will lead New Line to decide to release the Extended version of the film at the theatres in the fall of 2004 before releasing it as a DVD.

7. ROTK will clean up at next summer's MTV movie awards. Gollum will make another memorable appearance at the awards show.

8. In November of 2005, New Line will release all three extended versions of the Lord of the Rings in DVD format together as a boxed set with special added features.

9. New Line will eventually work out a deal with Universal for the American distribution rights for The Hobbit and Peter Jackson will be hired to write, produce, and direct the film.

10. Ian McKellan will reprise his role as Gandalf in The Hobbit.


You heard 'um here first, guys. :) Any other predictions -- or comments about mine?

[Wayfarer]

Can we flog you for every prediction that you get wrong? ]: D

(Edit: By 'We', of course, I mean 'I', and by 'Flog', of course I mean 'Lay into with a War Flail')

[IronParrot]

#5, 9 and 10 are doubtful. The rest are no-brainers and thus you should not get any credit simply for being the first one here to point them out... :)

[Agalayth]

I think Viggo Mortensen or Elijah Wood might be nominated for Best Actor, but I'm not sure.

[Balrog_of_Morgoth]

If there is any justice, Jackson will get Best Director. I think Ian should have gotten best actor in Fotr, but now I think Viggo Mortensen has the best shot at a best actor nod.

[Sheeana]

Originally posted by Wayfarer
(Edit: By 'We', of course, I mean 'I', and by 'Flog', of course I mean 'Lay into with a War Flail')

Wayfarer, you shall not hog the flogging! :mad:

[Elenna Alaniel]

I'm waiting 8. since I first saw the movie:D

[Wayfarer]

Originally posted by Sheeana
Wayfarer, you shall not hog the flogging! :mad: Oh, fine. Be that way. But you have to get your own scourge.

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Black Breathalizer
In addition to being known as "The Enlightened One" here at Entmoot, I'm also a brilliant psychic. :)
:rolleyes: Oh, dude. That is not what you are known as here.

Psychotic is an entirely different word from psychic, sweety. :p

:mad: Wayfarer! You selfish b@$^@rd! You better give me a swing at him too!! :D

[Finrod Felagund]

Well, If they do make the Hobbit, you'd hope they'd use Ian McKellen. But not Ian Holm..I think...LOL!

[Wayfarer]

Well Ruinel, I do have this flensing knife you can borrow... ]: D

[Elf Girl]

Ooh! Can I flog him with my Fiery Balrog Whip of Doom™?

I move he gets extra flogging for 9 and 10.

[Wayfarer]

Get in line, girly. Oh, and there's a $20 cover charge for this mob beating.

Should his psychic predictions be wrong, of course. 0]; )

[azalea]

Originally posted by Black Breathalizer
Any other predictions -- or comments about mine?

Guys, please keep to this ^ topic, and save all future plans regarding flogging, flensing, and beating to PMs or some such. Thank you!:)

[Elf Girl]

*clears throat* I think predictions 9 and 10 are highly unlikely. Here's why:

The hobbit is mostly a kid book, so their target market would have to be kids about 6-10 years old.

It is also a very violent book, though it doesn't really register in the text. The giant spiders, goblins and Battle of Five Armies would certainly earn it a PG-13 rating.

This rating does not fit their target market, thus making it an unprofitable venture.

Plus, the book is really quite boring. Sweet, incredibly well-written, but boring. And there aren't any hott Elves to save the day, they're all evil.

[Black Breathalizer]

Is The Hobbit anywhere near the quality of LOTR? Nope. But the combination of a Tolkien story, the "enchanting prelude to LOTR", and Peter Jackson as director is a guaranteed blockbuster (whether the final product would be good or not) just as Star Wars: The Phantom Menace was.

I do think it would be intersting to see how Peter, Fran, and Phillippa would convert The Hobbit from a children's tale into the same type of adult adventure fantasy that LOTR evolved into for Tolkien. And yes, Purists, PJ and company would change The Hobbit away from the children's fairy tale tone of the book.

[Sheeana]

Well, I don't think it's likely any time soon, because I'm pretty sure that Peter Jackson must be burnt out with all things Tolkien.

[Black Breathalizer]

I agree it won't happen for a few years. But the reality is that there is way too much money to be made on this project for it to be put on hold indefinitely.

[Cirdan]

Originally posted by Sheeana
Well, I don't think it's likely any time soon, because I'm pretty sure that Peter Jackson must be burnt out with all things Tolkien.

Well, I predict this one might actually happen after King Kong crashes and burns and he gets hungry for an easy score. By the way, which way to the... queue};-)

[Lizra]

The Hobbit is not boring. :mad:

It would make a fantastic movie. I can only hope that someday I will be granted the pleasure of watching a well done movie version of The Hobbit. I waited 30 years for LoTR to become a movie, and while it may not be perfect, it has been a wonderful experience none the less! :) (for me!)

[Bridgette]

Ack! The Hobbit is not boring! (But maybe that is just becusae I have the mentality level of a 6 year old.... hmmm ;) )

[Black Breathalizer]

Originally posted by Cirdan
Well, I predict this one might actually happen after King Kong crashes and burns and he gets hungry for an easy score. Another typical "head up the caboose" comment. Even without knowing how good the movie will be, a 'blockbuster event' movie associated with Peter Jackson on the heels of "The Return of the King" is guaranteed to make at least $250,000,000 in the US alone, not counting worldwide grosses.

[Cirdan]

Originally posted by Black Breathalizer
Another typical "head up the caboose" comment.

So that's where I recognize you from.

What's the matter, widdle Pete? Can't admit Big Pete picked a lousy project in King Kong? An eight year old project that has already been killed once. No movie is garranteed anything, and because the word-of-mouth via the Internet kills the unworthy regardless of the reputation of the director.

example:

Director Martin Brest

Midnight Run

Scent of a Woman

Meet Joe Black

Gigli

Only 27 movies have ever grossed more than $250 million. So, you're wrong again, as usual.

[Wayfarer]

Well, I predict this one might actually happen after King Kong crashes and burns and he gets hungry for an easy score.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another typical "head up the caboose" comment. I doubt even peter jackson is stupid enough to change the movie so that king kong doesn't die. ];p

[Black Breathalizer]

I stand by my prediction about King Kong. We will see who's right. :)

[Sheeana]

I predict that come December, BB is going to be lauding RoTK to be the greatest thing ever, the bee's knees, the best thing since sliced bread. Where do I pick up my money? :p

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Wayfarer
I doubt even peter jackson is stupid enough to change the movie so that king kong doesn't die. ];p
No, you are right... he'll have Legolas shoot him dead with an arrow. :rolleyes:
Well Ruinel, I do have this flensing knife you can borrow... ]: D :( damn... *snif* and I was hoping to participate in the torture before the actual slicing... I bought my own thumbscrews and everything... :( *snif* ...you take all the joy out of living. *puts head in hands and cries*

[Elf Girl]

Originally posted by Sheeana
I predict that come December, BB is going to be lauding RoTK to be the greatest thing ever, the bee's knees, the best thing since sliced bread. Where do I pick up my money? :p
Sorry, no takers. :rolleyes:

Um... must keep on-topic... I predict that Arwen's role will be greatly exaggerated, there will be much love-triangle-ness, and the Hobbit's role in the whole story will be almost forgotten.

[Black Breathalizer]

Originally posted by Sheeana
I predict that come December, BB is going to be lauding RoTK to be the greatest thing ever, the bee's knees, the best thing since sliced bread. Where do I pick up my money? :p At this point in the series, predicting that ROTK will be a great movie is like predicting the sun will come up in the East.

[Elf Girl]

No no dear, it's predicting it will be a great movie in BB's eyes that's like saying the sun will come up in the East.

[Sheeana]

Good one Elf Girl! :D

[Earniel]

My prediction: Just like they did in Helm's Deep the Elves will come to the rescue of Men at the battle before Minas Tirith. Arwen will be there too, fighting of course.

If I'm proven to be wrong in this I will be a very happy mooter.

[galadriel]

Prediction: By the end of the movie, I will be crying. Possibly hysterically. Just as I am about to recover, a reprise of the "Fellowship" theme in the soundtrack during the credits will send me diving once more for the Kleenex.

[Black Breathalizer]

Many of the filmmakers themselves admit to crying while watching the raw footage of ROTK. If the filmmakers can get emotional watching footage that should be 'old hat' for them by this point, it certainly bodes well for the audience's reaction in December. :)

[Laurelindórenan]

Originally posted by Eärniel
My prediction: Just like they did in Helm's Deep the Elves will come to the rescue of Men at the battle before Minas Tirith. Arwen will be there too, fighting of course.

I highly doubt this. What elves are going to come? Besides, if they had Arwen fighting it would downplay Eowyn's role in the battle which I highly doubt they would want to do.

[Earniel]

Like I said, I'd be very happy to be proven wrong.

[jusu]

I only hope that none of the great deeds of Eowyn (in the book) will be given to Arwen's credit.

Actually, I remember having seen sort of a promo piece of The Hobbit coming into theaters in December 2005, with the dragon and all, put mostly with cuts of FotR.

[galadriel]

Originally posted by Black Breathalizer
Many of the filmmakers themselves admit to crying while watching the raw footage of ROTK. If the filmmakers can get emotional watching footage that should be 'old hat' for them by this point, it certainly bodes well for the audience's reaction in December. :)
Gah... I'm getting teary-eyed just thinking about it.... :p

[Evenstar1400]

ill probibly end up walking out of the theater in the end bawling my eyes out. then ill cry all afternoon and all night and for the rest of the week and i wont get anything done cause ill still be crying. NOTE TO SELF: BRING PLENTY OF TISSUES

[Cirdan]

Hey, I've even cried just from reading the book(just a few manly tears;)). I'm a big ol' sap so I'll probably moisten up at the end, too.

[Black Breathalizer]

Originally posted by Cirdan
I'm a big ol' sap so I'll probably moisten up at the end, too. Welcome to the dark side, Cirdan. Like the characters in the books, I always held out hope (for you) even in the face of overwhelming odds.

:)

[Cirdan]

I'm never sure why you ever thought I don't like the movies.:confused:

Was it that I dared to critique Lord PJ, and still prefer the books?

[Wayfarer]

BB is the type that thinks even partial dissagreement with him on the subject is tantamount to heresy.

[Elf Girl]

Originally posted by Cirdan
Hey, I've even cried just from reading the book(just a few manly tears;)).
I cried way more from the books than either of the movies.

[Black Breathalizer]

Originally posted by Cirdan
I'm never sure why you ever thought I don't like the movies.:confused:

Was it that I dared to critique Lord PJ, and still prefer the books? Your old posts have been deleted or I'd toss them back in your face by reposting them here, Cirdan.

Instead I'll post this:

The Scene: It's 2 AM on a street corner is a seedy area of Entmoot City. We see a lady in a blond wig, tube top, mini-skirt, nylon stockings, and wearing four-inch heels walking alone down the sidewalk as a police car pulls up beside her...

Officer Breathalizer: Hey, toots. Be a good girl and go home. I don't want to have to be arresting you for prostitution later tonight.

Lady of the Evening: (batting her thick eyelashes and doing a PERFECT imitation of Cirdan) Gasp...Why, officer, I'm confused why you would ever think such a thing of me!??!?!!?!?!?! :confused:

[Cirdan]

Originally posted by Black Breathalizer
Your old posts have been deleted or I'd toss them back in your face by reposting them here, Cirdan.

What's the matter? Are you such a stupid F*** you can't search for posts?:) Nothing has been deleted, pea-brain. Pathetic bluff.

*Cirdan sheds yet another manly tear, But this time at the thought that bb might possibly reproduce, if he can figure it out*

[Entlover]

Cool it, guys. Children are reading this.

The trouble with the Hobbit is that it has no female roles -- can't have a great movie without a love interest.

I am all for Elijah winning best actor -- also Ian McKellan and Viggo. (A 3 way tie?)
That would be way cool if they release the Extended Version in theaters.
Doubt very much that PJ will do any more Tolkien movies. He's probably had enough to last a lifetime. Some experiences can't be repeated.

[Elf Girl]

You can view all of Cirdan's posts here (http://entmoot.tolkientrail.com/search.php?s=&action=showresults&searchid=80948), BB.

I agree with Lizra about the Hobbit. Any dwarven love interests are out of the question (beards...) and Gandalf- just no. That leaves Bilbo, but it would be very difficult to work in a new female character.

[Cirdan]

There could be some minor "expanded" roles in Laketown or even for "elf girls" ;) but not true leads, so it wouldn't fit the prescribed formula for movies today. I would still like an animated remake with "Shrek" technology and humor, as well as updated music and the complete story. The tech used for the orc armies work work even better in an animated setting.

Could the Goblin city have female Orcs? That would be novel.

[Elf Girl]

Originally posted by Cirdan
Could the Goblin city have female Orcs? That would be novel.
*scrubs mental images out of brain*

[Sheeana]

Originally posted by Cirdan
*Cirdan sheds yet another manly tear, But this time at the thought that bb might possibly reproduce, if he can figure it out*

Too late. He already has. Haven't you noticed his daughter posting?

[Cirdan]

Originally posted by Sheeana
Too late. He already has. Haven't you noticed his daughter posting?

NO. I thought we determined he was a teen posing... yoinks.

What's the SN?:confused:

[Sheeana]

"Laurelindórenan", I think. She's got something like "I'm BB's daughter" in her sig. I assume this is pointing to Black Brethaliser, and not some other BB...

[Earniel]

Originally posted by Elf Girl
You can view all of Cirdan's posts here (http://entmoot.tolkientrail.com/search.php?s=&action=showresults&searchid=80948), BB.


Your link is faulty, Elf Girl (at least when I tried). But there's a big green 'search' button under each post that shows all the posts of that poster. Heehee, I finally know something! :p

[Cirdan]

Originally posted by Eärniel
Your link is faulty, Elf Girl (at least when I tried). But there's a big green 'search' button under each post that shows all the posts of that poster. Heehee, I finally know something! :p

It does work. It brings up all 1883+ posts so maybe you just timed out.:)

[Earniel]

Odd, it still doesn't work for me. Could be my connection or something though, Dave's been throwing me off and on the internet every 5 minutes or so.

[Cirdan]

Maybe you should have gone with the HAL. (I'm sorry, Dave) :D

[Elf Girl]

My mom programmed the computer to say 'I'm sorry Dave' in HAL'S voice whenever Microsoft crashes.

[Earniel]

We named him Dave because HAL for all his supercomputerness doesn't even make it to the end of the movie. :p Also we didn't want to call him after a computer with homocidal tendencies. :eek: He might get the wrong ideas.

But one of the first things we did when we got the computer was putting HAL's quotes on the screensaver. :D

[Cirdan]

It's funny we always think of 2001; our love/hate relationship with the box.

That's not the first time I've heard the "I'm sorry Dave" bmp used for the Windows crash.

*starts unplugging vital components one by one.... just in case*:)

[Valandil]

Er... doesn't Lobelia Sackville-Baggins show up at the end of the book?

Maybe they could even manufacture something: Liv Tyler returns as Arwen, who comes back from Lorien to briefly visit her daddy in Imladris, just before Gandalf, Bilbo and Thorin & Co. arrive... but then she gets stuck babysitting 10-year-old Aragorn...:eek:

[Cirdan]

LOL! *remembers having a crush on the babysitter*

[Artanis]

Originally posted by Valandil
Liv Tyler returns as Arwen, who comes back from Lorien to briefly visit her daddy in Imladris, just before Gandalf, Bilbo and Thorin & Co. arrive... but then she gets stuck babysitting 10-year-old Aragorn...:eek: Lovely! :D

[jerseydevil]

I predict this - come February 2004 - a mob of mooters will storm Jackson's home - led by the JerseyDevil and make Jackson write for every dollar the movie grosses....


"I will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!"

"I will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!"

"I will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!"

"I will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!"

"I will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!"


ad nauseum (like the movie :D)....


So who is with me?

Or - we could make him write out The Lord of the Rings novel by hand 20 times so he finally understands what being a TRUE fan of the books is REALLY like - not the psuedo fan he is.

BTW - who thinks that while Jackson writes all this he should wear the Arwen costume? :p :D Makes a rather disgusting picture actually - but no worse than seeing Liv Tyler trying to play Arwen :rolleyes: or having to get through the butchered Flight to the Ford Scene :mad:.

[Elf Girl]

Hmm... I'd go with all of them. Have him start with the LotR copying, so he understands what he's done by, I quote, 'taking a great novel and making a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!'.

I'm with you, of course. :)

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Elf Girl
Hmm... I'd go with all of them. Have him start with the LotR copying, so he understands what he's done by, I quote, 'taking a great novel and making a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!'.

I'm with you, of course. :)

I like your idea. We'll have him write the book out 20 times - that way he KNOWS why the NOVEL is so great. :D Then we'll have him write out the "I will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!"

Make it sink in really well.

[Sheeana]

"Novel"?! Romantic Masterpiece, if you please! :p

Oh yeah, do I get to emblazon that on the side of his house with fluorescent pink spray paint? "I (Peter Jackson) will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!"

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Sheeana
"Novel"?! Romantic Masterpiece, if you please! :p

Oh yeah, do I get to emblazon that on the side of his house with fluorescent pink spray paint? "I (Peter Jackson) will never again take a great novel and make a mockery of it by creating a dumbed down, hollywoodized action movie just to make a quick buck!"
You can be in charge of the pink spray paint sheeana. :D

Does anyone want to be in charge of giving him the forty lashes as he writes his punishment out?

[Elvengirl]

Originally posted by jerseydevil

Or - we could make him write out The Lord of the Rings novel by hand 20 times so he finally understands what being a TRUE fan of the books is REALLY like - not the psuedo fan he is.

BTW - who thinks that while Jackson writes all this he should wear the Arwen costume? :p :D Makes a rather disgusting picture actually - but no worse than seeing Liv Tyler trying to play Arwen :rolleyes: or having to get through the butchered Flight to the Ford Scene :mad:.
Ooh, I like that idea :D Yes, make him write the book first, he'll understand the magnitude of his sin. ;)
Does the costume include wig and elven ears? *shudders at the thought*
I think he'll get the point :)

[Rían]

Originally posted by Valandil
Maybe they could even manufacture something: Liv Tyler returns as Arwen, who comes back from Lorien to briefly visit her daddy in Imladris, just before Gandalf, Bilbo and Thorin & Co. arrive... but then she gets stuck babysitting 10-year-old Aragorn...:eek:
That is just WAAAY too funny, Valandil! :D

[Cirdan]

Can we dress Phillipa Boyens as a dwarf woman and then toss her?

[Sheeana]

Originally posted by Cirdan
Can we dress Phillipa Boyens as a dwarf woman and then toss her?

Ugh. 'Dwarf woman' and 'tossing' just shouldn't be mentioned in the same sentence. ::sick::

Originally posted by jerseydevil
Does anyone want to be in charge of giving him the forty lashes as he writes his punishment out?

I nominate Wayfarer...

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Cirdan
Can we dress Phillipa Boyens as a dwarf woman and then toss her?
That would be fair - you can be in charge of Phillipa Boyens. :D She must realize that the dwarf tossing jokes were lame and had NO PLACE in a TRUE Lord of the Rings movie.

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Sheeana
I nominate Wayfarer...

I was thinking of Wayfarer too. I'm waiting for him to come on - I know he'll have some suggestions. :)

So far we have....

JerseyDevil
Elf Girl
Sheeana
Elvengirl
Cirdan

I'm sure we'll get Khamul and Wayfarer too. But we'll see who else joins our expedition. :)

[Elvengirl]

We should make him personally act out every scene correctly that he had altered and then I say we throw him of the cliff like he did to Aragorn............does this sound too violent?

[hectorberlioz]

Lol. I agree there. Pushing aragorn off the cliff wasnt nice...after all "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" right?

[cassiopeia]

*waves hand* I'll join.

(Yes, I do like the movies, but some parts really annoy me.)

[jerseydevil]

I created a new thread to discuss our plans for this - The Taming of Jackson (http://entmoot.tolkientrail.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9416)

Good to have you on board Cass. :D

Please sign in there and if you have any suggestions - please include them. :)