Non-Fiction

[Gwaimir Windgem]

By request of the Lady Lizra, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Non-Fiction Thread!

[IronParrot]

Only one?

[Gwaimir Windgem]

So far. :p

[Lizra]

My you're speedy! :) Here is part of my April 2002 column, "Garden Friends", from The Lebanon Reporter. I left out the local stuff. I hope this helps all you "Peatfingers" :rolleyes: and budding Entwives out there get in the growing mood!

April 2002 Garden Friends

The calendar says spring is here! I can't hardly believe it. Part of me is still waiting for winter, but I'll just ignore that part. My garden seems to be following the calendar also. Even in the frosty cold micro-climate of a country garden, a recent walk revealed quite a few friends. Some of the brave new shoots are viola, poppy, iris and primrose, lambs ear, yarrow, foxglove and hollyhock, lupin, feverfew, painted daisy, and malva, phlox, larkspur, rose campion and valerian. The new spring bulbs are coming up, as are lots of day lilies, artemesia, dames rocket, columbine, pinks, allium, catmint, catnip, bronze fennel and loosestrife. There's plenty of "I don't know" and "I can't remember" plus old reliables like black eyed Susan, Shasta daisy, forget me not, sedum and surprise lily. I suppose its time to get out there and do something!

The Outdoor Room

The current trend of the garden becoming an outdoor room is reality for me. This month I'll start to bring out some of the many garden "hardware" items I've accumulated. You don't have to spend a lot of money to outfit your new room. Look outside first. Stones, stumps, and logs are naturals for the outdoor room. Anything big, bulky, or unusual is a good candidate. Just carefully roll it in place without hurting your back. Next, scavenge the shed, barn, or wherever you put things you don't need or want anymore. Weathered, beat up oddities look great in the garden. Then for the one or two signature items that really make your outside room special, look to the garden shops. Just tell your family what you want for that birthday, Mother's, or Father's day gift. A gift certificate from your favorite garden shop is another way to get that snazzy gazing ball or beautiful wind chime.

The most important thing in my garden is the bench. All garden work requires a sit and study session before it's done, and a lengthy rest period after. Why, there's no point in having a garden if you can't relax in it! Remember, the garden is supposed to enhance your life, not vice-versa.

This year I plan to take things a step further. Just sitting isn't enough. We need a place to lie down. Naps are one of life's great pleasures and siestas should be mandatory for all folks over forty! A snooze in the shade on a warm summer day is wonderful, and the addition of singing birds and a sweet scented breeze takes it over the top. A hammock or chaise lounge with a waterproof cushion just might do the trick.


A garden works best when it's a multi-sensory experience. With the wonderful longer days of early spring, new bird songs have filled the air. It's not just "chick a dee dee dee " anymore! As it begins to warm up enough to actually spend time outside, I'll add my own touch to the sound mix, with bells and wind chimes. Wind chimes are a very popular non-growing garden item. I try to take advantage of the country breeze by placing several wind chimes in different areas. For me, the hallmark of summer is to hear the melodious sound of wind chimes when drifting off to sleep with the window open.

Of course, we better not forget Mother Nature's fickle ways. There can still be frost or snow, and lots of nasty wind and rain. Don't bring out anything too fragile, or be prepared to trot it right back in when the weather temporarily reverts back to winter. Remember not to work in your garden if it's too wet. April showers seem to bring May showers, so only dig and divide when the soil has had a chance to dry out. Play it by ear, but begin to enjoy the new garden season because it's here!

[Hasty Ent]

I really enjoyed that, Lizra. I want more!:D

[Lizra]

Glad you liked it! That was a warm up, ;) I'll do a May one in a bit here. Gardeners need to be thinking ahead! What zone are you in?

[Hasty Ent]

Lizra, according to the USDA hardiness zone map, I'm in 5b. But I don't buy it, because I've known some brutally cold winters.:rolleyes: I plant as if I were in 3-4, just to be on the safe side.

Looking forward to your May installment!:)

[Lizra]

Well, here's a May column. Hope you enjoy it!


May 2001 "Garden Friends"


It's amazing how quickly a lifeless brown garden can change into a soft green world. April's unnatural spell of hot weather created garden miracles. Sweet William, Poppies, and Peonies seemed to grow inches each day.
A few days of balmy weather stretched into nearly two weeks of instant summer. It felt great and the garden was beautiful, but eighty degree weather in early April is just plain creepy. Many plants were tricked into growing too fast, too soon.
I prefer a slow, cool spring that streches into summer. The spring of 1997 was this way. The air conditioner didn't come on till July and my plants outdid themselves. The spring flowers and shrubs bloomed in a slow procession. There was time to anticipate and savor the beauty each flower had to offer. Daffodils and Tulips, Columbine, Coral Bells and Dames Rocket, Poppies, Primrose, Lilies of the Valley and Lilacs, the blooms were lavish.
This April, things happened so quickly I began to get grumpy. Spring blossoms don't last long when the temperature goes over 75 degrees. I was so busy looking for the sandals and sunscreen, I couldn't keep up with the rapid fire growth going on in the garden.
Inevitibly, the cold weather came back and some plants froze. Most perennials will continue to grow under the frost damage, but some flowers were lost. I fluffed up leaves and mulch, trying to protect what I could, but outsmarting the weather is a losing proposition.

The Perennial Divide
With spring growth comes the chore of perennial division. I have to say that dividing perennials is my least favorite garden task. Like many well seasoned gardeners, I have a bad back. Digging up big clumps of Irises or Daylilies is out of the question.
Television garden show hosts easily lift their perennial plants from loose crumbly soil. I've been known to snap shovel handles trying to wrestle giant mounds of ornamental grass from unyielding clay. Amending your soil and not waiting too long are the keys to success here.
Many trips to the chiropractor later, I'm afraid I've given up. Friends are welcome to starts from my garden but it's "dig your own". For a wonderful guide to dividing different types of perennials, go to www.hoosierhomeandgarden.com. Click on "garden", then "divide and conquer".

Garden Parties
May is a good month to have a garden party. Garden parties are the cheapest and most pleasant way to add to your plant collection. I have gotten many of my plants this way.
Invite all your friends who like to garden and tell them to bring a guest along too. This is a case where "the more, the merrier" applies. Everyone should bring starts and divisions of plants that need thinning out. Extra bulbs and seedlings are also welcome. Guests who are just beginning to garden, or are unable to bring live plants can bring food or drink instead.
After everyone has eaten and visited, the fun begins. Have each guest draw a number. Beginning with the number one, each person can pick a plant from the days offerings. Keep going around in numerical order till all the plants are gone. It's so much fun and a great way to get free, healthy plants for your garden..


I edited out the last bit, it was all "local" happenings. :)

[IronParrot]

Okay, if I ever need help describing or naming flowers, I now know who to contact. :)

Most of my recent work is non-fiction, and none of it is very prosaic. I wrote a few articles and movie reviews for my campus paper, and I used to write extremely lengthy reviews of every movie I saw on a website that no longer exists. (Some of the much older ones are still sitting around in Entmoot.)

[Lizra]

I really don't understand why I have such an aversion to writing fiction. :confused: I certainly love to write! (That's probably one reason I hang around Entmoot so much! :rolleyes: ) I have enjoyed reading *some* fiction, but in the real world, "fake stuff" seems to annoy me. "Don't rob my time with that nonsense! It's not real!" :eek: I suppose a nice structured class would help, and probably be fun. I enjoy a do-able challenge. I don't know....when you are writing about real stuff, or things you have actually done, the material is already there. You just need to "roll it out" and arrange it in a pleasing (beautiful) manner. It's an artistic thing! But a created story would take so much planning.....I guess I'm just plain LAZY! :o I would be afraid of getting bored! I like to use words to "paint" pictures of experience. Truth is stranger than fiction! :p

[IronParrot]

Conversely, I don't know why so many people have a seeming aversion to writing non-fiction, but that's just me. :p Even in fiction, you present ideas generated and observed in "the real world", but it's the approach that's completely different - and in your case, Lizra, that probably explains why you write what you do.

[Lizra]

I suppose so! Well, It's nice to have something looming out there that's still "virginal"! (writing fiction ) Maybe I'll give it a small go sometime. :)

[Lizra]

I've had a request for another shot of garden advice! Yea! :D Thank-you! :o

June "Garden Friends"

Spring is leaving, as sure as the Peonies bloom and the Indy 500 roars through. Hopefully you've completed all the big garden chores you wanted to tackle. As nature turns the burner up, it will become too
hot and humid for strenuous garden work. Summer is the time to lay low and sip cool drinks.

A well mulched garden can be your biggest ally in the battle to beat the heat. Mulch is truely a garden's best friend. It improves the soil while keeping weed seeds from germinating. Mulch helps your garden retain moisture during the long hot days of summer. In the hot sun, bare soil bakes and cracks like adobe clay. Under mulch, that same soil stays porous and moist. Take the time to mulch your garden now, and you won't have to water so often in the heat of July and August.

There are many different types of mulch to chose from. Some of the commercial varieties are very attractive. Bought by the bag, truckload, or delivered by the cubic yard, there are various colors and textures. I really like the fine dark brown stuff that looks like good soil, others prefer the more reddish style that provides an accent color to all the green of the lawn.

Mulch gives a dramatic touch in the finished look of your landscape. A sparse or lackluster flower bed suddenly takes on a crisp, professional appearance with the application of mulch. Unfortunately, your beautiful mulch often seems to disappear over the course of the summer. Several factors can contribute to the "Mystery of The Disappearing Mulch". Be sure to apply it thickly at the first go round. Not so much right against the plants themselves, but in the open spaces and the edges where the lawn meets the garden. A clear cut edging between lawn and garden makes a big difference, and an actual barrier is even better. Professionals have reccomended the black plastic edging , landscape timbers are another way to go. I love the look of field stone. No matter what your choice, the person mowing the lawn needs to take care not to blow too much mulch out, or too many grass clippings and weed seeds in. Experiment untill you find the right method for your particular situation.

If it seems your mulch is actually decomposing in your garden, take cheer, this is good. Decomposing mulch is the easiest way to improve your garden's soil. When you decide it's time to top the mulch off again, maybe a slightly bigger nugget will last a little longer. One note of caution, the natural bark type of mulch seems to be freer of unwanted insects than the dyed, shredded wood pallets. For applications right up against the foundation of your house, you might keep this in mind.

This year, I've choosen to use last fall's leaves in my flower beds, raw wood chips on the paths, and old straw in the vegetable gardens. The leaves were chopped up by the mower and spent the winter in trash bags. Earlier this spring, after a good weeding, I laid the leaf mulch around my perennials. I made sure to do this before the ocean of dandelions that is my lawn, unleashed its "snow". So far, so good, but I'll probably have to buy some of the fancy stuff for later applications, now that the leaves are gone.

Annuals and the Open Show
The perennials are putting on a gorgeous show now. Later in the summer, things won't be quite so exciting. Start planting annuals and summer bulbs now for color and beauty in July and August. Bedding plants are available everywhere it seems, and for those with green thumbs, the seed packets are plentiful too. I like to sow seeds, but I do it in flats outside to control the water carefully. Hard rains and well intentioned hoses often wash the tiny seeds away, leaving the gardener to wonder what happened. Just start tucking annuals in, here and there, but remember to water them well. Even under mulch, bedding plants wilt quickly that first month, till they get their roots established.



Don't forget to put a bench in a shady spot in, or near your garden so you can rest and watch the hummingbirds and butterflies while you sip your iced tea.

[Lizra]

And here's is for the tomato growers....Probably the most popular home grown vegetable!

July 2001 Garden Friends

Tomatoes, tomatoes,tomatoes! One of the joys of summer is that first juicy bite of a homegrown tomato. Big Boy, Beefsteak, Whopper or Sweet 100, homegrown tomatoes are delicious. I'll bet there are some gifted gardeners out there who are already enjoying the crop of 2001.

Hopefully everyone is familiar with the terms determinate and indeterminate. These descriptions are important and will help you select your growing method. Unfortunately, plant labels often fail to mention these terms. Grow both types if you have enough space and make note of your favorites for next year.

Indeterminate tomato plants have long sprawling vines that keep growing and fruiting till frost. If you want to eat homegrown tomatoes all summer long, indeterminates are the way to go. Some indeterminate varieties include Early Girl, Big Boy, Sweet 100, Brandywine, Better Boy and Supersteak.

Determinate tomato plants are shorter and bushier. They set all their fruit once, then stop growing. Determinates are good for sauce and salsa canners, giving the big quantities of fruit needed all at the same time. Some determinates are Celebrity, Sun Gold, and the plum/paste varieties San Marzano and Roma.

Tomato cages work well for determinates, but not the puny store-bought kind. Make your own out of old fencing. Be sure to stake your homemade tomato 'tubes' well so they don't topple over when loaded with tomatoes.

When growing indeterminates, you definitely need a plan. Indeterminate tomato plants are genetically programed to take over your garden. Tying the vines up tall stakes and pruning out the suckers has been developed into a fine art by some. Personally, I'd rather clean my oven twice than stake indeterminates, but many tidy gardener's enjoy this ritual. Strips of t-shirt or pantyhose work best for vine tying. They are strong but soft, and gently stretch as the vines grow. Tall, homemade cages can work also. Once again, anchor them solidly to the ground.

Most of my attention goes to the flower beds, so I mulch my tomatoes heavily with clean straw and let them lie. It's easy and I always have plenty of tomatoes, but the vegetable plot becomes a chaotic mess that smells funny when some of the fruit begins to rot. This method works fine out in the country, but it is rather messy for suburban gardens.

Cherry tomatoes are indeterminate superstars. I trellis them through livestock panels that edge one side of my garden. Just weave the vines in and out to support them. Soon you'll have sweet cherry tomatoes at arms reach, ready to pop in your mouth.

It's certainly a good idea to mulch tomato plants. Mulch helps keep the moisture level even which leads to less fruit cracking. Use an organic mulch like straw or chopped leaves and till it into your soil late in the fall, or early the next spring.

On the subject of tomato cracking, it's caused when water levels are uneven. Try to pick your ripening tomatoes soon after a heavy rain to prevent cracking and a bland, watery flavor. The longer tomatoes stay on the vine, the more chance of cracking.

Here are some other tomato tips. Don't give tomatoes too much nitrogen. (Miracle Grow, manure, etc.) Too much nitrogen will give you lots of foliage and few tomatoes. Tomatoes do like calcium. Save your eggshells and crush them into your tomato soil. As the calcium builds up, it improves fruit flavor and diminishes blossom end rot.

Don't over prune tomato plants. If too much foliage is removed, it often results in sunscald. Tomatoes will also get circular cracks from heat stress during periods of over 90 degree heat and high sunlight.

If the leaves on your plants start to disappear, look for a huge tomato hornworm. Their green color camouflages them well. Carefully move these jolly green giants away from your garden. They will become fascinating hummingbird moths if allowed to complete their lifecycle.

Keep your picked and ripening tomatoes in the shade, and don't refrigerate them. Cold temperatures diminish flavor. Now, all that's left to decide is whether to take a salt shaker out to the garden with you.

:)

[Hasty Ent]

Thanks Lizra, I needed that! I really enjoy your columns -- just enough information to keep me interested, and not so much that my eyes glaze over.

maybe someone should start a gardening thread? we can't be the only two mooters that enjoy getting dirt under our nails...

[Lizra]

My pleasure HE! Does anyone else garden on Entmoot...or write interesting non fiction? :)

[Gwaimir Windgem]

The only non-fiction I've written that I can think of is school projects. And that's not interesting. :p

[Lizra]

Too bad! So it was the topic that was boring? Not the writing! :eek: Surely! Is there a topic you would enjoy writing about?

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Probably more the fact that it's forced. :p I wrote an essay about why the Wedding Guest in the Rime of the Ancient Mariner woke the next day a sadder and wiser man, and the first half of it was a rant about being forced to implant one's own ideas into a literary work, and read such things into it. :D

[congressmn]

wow so much to read for free. those were some handsomely written pieces.

[Sheeana]

You know, the only thing I hate about living in a city apartment is that I can't have a herb/tomato garden. :( I've never tried gardening in my life, but I'd love to have fresh roma tomatos, and basil. *sigh*

[Lizra]

Someday! Puttering about the plants, sniffing living herbs, it's really calming. Growing some lettuce in the early spring, then making that first salad...a great simple pleasure! Hope you can green your thumb up someday! :)

[Lizra]

Originally posted by congressmn
wow so much to read for free. those were some handsomely written pieces.

Thank you! :)

[Baby-K]

Hey, Liz - those were well written! Are those the pieces you submitted to the newspaper you wrote for?

'fraid I'm not much of a gardener myself (it usually ends up in a tug o' war with the dogs - whatever I plant they pull out :rolleyes: ), but it's almost time for my favourite flowers to start blooming - sweetpeas! They give the dullest wintergarden such a burst of colour & I love they way they smell :) (Also love Daffodils, can't wait for them to start blooming either).

[Lizra]

Yes, those are some of my garden columns. Thanks! :) Though I really like dogs, I don't have any of those hole digging critters! Just cats. Death by dog paw is a common happening in the garden. :) I try to leave a few open spots, in areas that I notice the cats like to laze in the sun in. Of course, the herb garden, with the catnip patch seems to attract them most. Winter garden? Sounds neat! I'm afraid zone 5 (my zone) has a winter garden of snow drifts! :) I did sweet peas one year, but didn't get too many blooms. They must not like hot and humid Indiana summers! What season is it where you are K?

[Baby-K]

Well, it's officially winter now, but luckily we don't get snow etc though we have had cases of black frost that have killed my dad's rose garden - it used to be his pride & joy & he had 58 different bushes - all different colours & names, of which the Black Rose and the green ones were my favourites because they're so unusual. I am not overly fond of roses, to me they symbolise formality, which is something that definitely does not suit me.

I should try & get a pic of my dad's garden & post it - 'specially in summer - we're quite lucky 'cos we can grow anything from succulents to sub-tropical plants & in summer the Tibutchina (sp?), jasmine, bougeainvillia (sp?), carnations etc are all in bloom. There's even a cherry-guava, pine-guava and my mom's fruitsalad plant and lemon tree, a peach tree and apricots & gooseberries - it's a bit of a hotchpotch - add to that the veritable zoo they have going on (what with 2 dogs, an avery full of birds and a fishpond) - it sometimes looks like a jungle :D And there's an open veld around, so there are often owls, wind falcons and all kinds of wild birds around - even get the odd turtle etc making their way into the garden.

[Lizra]

Ooh! That sounds interesting! You must be zone 6 or 7! Sorry about your Dad's roses! I don't grow them, they are too "touchy! The key too sucess is often picking the right plant! Even though it's supposed to be early summer here, It's been quite chilly for several weeks! Our heat still runs of a night! Bring on the 80's! :)

[Baby-K]

Ye should see that place - the one corner has a rock garden with all kind of succulents and cactii and right next to it he has a fishpond with sub tropical plants (watercrest, palms, ferns etc) going & the weird thing is they all grow, I guess he just has a greenfinger or summin - he always laughs at me 'cos I want to plant all the 'pretty little flowers', but I do it at the wrong time of the year or I forget to water them properly - either too much or too little.

I found out last night the one really funny looking plant in their garden is called a "Mother-in-Law's Tongue", it's a funny little thing that looks like a sharp tongue sticking out from the center of the plant. Haha - plants have the funniest names :)

Oh,, I wanted to ask you (I forgot) - what exactly is 'mulch'? :confused:

[Gwaimir Windgem]

I believe it is a compost of decomposed plant material, right?

[Lizra]

Mother-in-law tongue is a common houseplant here. I was just talking about it today. People with "brown thumbs" like to grow it indoors cause it's almost impossible to kill! :) I guess it got it's common name because it is sharp, pointed plant, sort of like an evil mother-in-laws remarks?!

Mulch is shredded material put down around plants, trees or shrubs to smother weeds and retain moisture. It could be many things, but most commonly shredded wood or bark of some sort. It is used to beautify the yard in suburbia, so attractive nuggets of dark brown or reddish brown bark is usually used. This type is usually dyed. I've seen straw, leaves, wood chips, wood shavings, sawdust, dyed,shredded wooden pallets, shredded newspaper (ugly!) and coco hulls sold as mulch. The coco hulls are very pricey because they are a beautiful rich dark brown and make your garden smell like chocolate! :)
Any kind of natural material that is available in abundance could be used...puverized corn cobs, pecan hulls, seaweed, whatever was available would work. This type of vegetative organic material should be something that breaks down slowly and doesn't stink or attract animals though. Grass clippings are used sometimes, but they "compost" quickly and tend to steam and stink! Blah, blah, blah! sorry! :D

[Lizra]

Well, how about a little more non fiction! :) Sure wish somebody else would post some! ;) This is for Hasty Ent and any other gardeners. :)

October Garden Friends

There are many seasons in the garden, and one way they can be identified is by their blooming flowers. In early spring, the tiniest bit of growth and green excites us, we watch for crocus, hyacinth, spring wildflowers and little Johnny jump ups. Then comes the traditional spring bloom we all love, redbud trees, tulips, daffodils and dogwoods. These flowers warm everyone's winter weary soul with their cheerful display. Late spring is one of the most beautiful. Gorgeous iris, peonies, poppies, and sweet smelling lilacs and lilly of the valley take our breath away.

As the summer growing season starts, things begin to get a little confusing. Every perennial under the sun comes up, and the stores are exploding with bedding plants. Naturally, I start planting as soon as I see them, and that's when the traditional seasons of bloom start to blur. There's so much blooming and being planted. By the time the petunias, marigolds, sunflowers and daylilies of summer proper are coming on, I take my cue to head inside for a couple weeks of air conditioning.

It's a different world when I emerge in late summer. The vegetable garden has totally gone to pot. I try to avoid it at all costs unless I feel the urge to can salsa or who knows what else. The gladiolus are finished and the clematis has come and gone. After a couple weeks of serious deadheading and cutting back, a new way of marking garden time emerges.

I begin to segment what's left of the gardening season by the bugs. First come the eagerly awaited lighting bugs in middle summer. Little ones delight in the miracle of creatures that actually light up! Fourth of July fireworks and lighting bugs make summer in Indiana the best. Then comes the equally incredible butterflies, also very popular among the young set. There's nothing prettier that a butterfly sailing on a warm summer breeze. I'll just pretend Japanese beetles, cucumber beetles and squash bugs don't exist, so that puts us at our present point in time, early fall.

To borrow a popular joke from my youth, "Why does the wooly worm cross the road? To get to the other side!" Now that I can finally drive down country roads without killing lots of butterflies, these silly wooly worms start running across them. Where are they going? What will they do there? Something to do with winter coming, no doubt.

The praying mantises are getting mighty big and turning brown. My garden is suddenly sporting lots of neat spider webs with big, fat, black and yellow striped spiders. Where did they come from? All of a sudden they're all over the place! Once again, I'll pretend the big ugly grasshoppers don't exist, and the noise from the crickets is tolerable as long as you don't think about it too much.

I certainly don't look forward to late fall's invasion of ladybugs. These Asian ladybugs have really turned into a major nuisance. One sunny day in October they'll start swarming my house. They'll come inside and stay with us all winter. Why, it wouldn't be Christmas without a couple hundred ladybugs all around! The sound of crunching ladybugs underfoot starts to make me crazy by January. Unfortunately, they seem to get worse every year.


(the rest was local stuff) Bugs are fun!

[Hasty Ent]

that was satisfying, Lizra...

you don't like the sound of crickets? I love their 'song' but HATE the sound of cicadas...

more non-fiction would be good, guys! we can't let Lizra bear this burden all alone :eek:

I'd offer one of my own contributions, but trust me, only an insomniac would care to read my sleep-inducing prose...

[Lizra]

Yeah, cicadas are icky! :) They are so scary looking too! They startle the cr*p out you when you disturb them in the trees. :eek:

This year we had a serious problem with deer flies in the late spring. They would swarm the car ( you were afraid to get out!) for about a month, also descending on you when going to the mailbox! :eek: I got about half a dozen fly swatters and kept two in the car so we'd could come out swatting. My son and I would have competitions with the body count! :D That was really bad cause they bite, and it hurts! Finally the weather changed and they went away!
Right now, we are having an abundance of sweat bees. Gazillions of them, hovering in place. What are they doing just hovering in their little territories? It's neat how each year the weather dictates a different pattern of insects. I hope the "day of gossamer wings" (those filmy spider webs that float in the breeze) is as stong as it was in 2001. One Saturday, late in Oct, 2001, the filmy webs were floating everywhere! Some people actually thought it was a terrorist thing (!) because the white webs were so abundant! It was awesome! Anybody else have bug stories (you know...non fiction! ) ;)

[Entlover]

Those are beautiful, Lizra!
Now it's September, do you have a piece telling us how to put our gardens to bed for the fall/winter? Where/when to plant bulbs? How much to cut back roses?
My poor little garden needs all the help it can get.

[Lizra]

Well, here's part of a November column....jumping the gun a bit, but it's what you request! :)

November Garden Friends

The annuals in the garden have died, the perennials are beginning hibernation, and the garage sales are going, going, gone. Basically, the party's almost over. :( Several frosts and a hard freeze have suspended much of the garden. Plants still linger, but most of the flowers are history. I can't complain though, I've enjoyed eight wonderful months of nonstop botanical beauty. Layer upon layer of plants have come and gone.

The warmer days of late fall are the best time for garden work. You don't get sweaty, the kids are in school, and the mosquitoes have disappeared. Watch out for the ladybugs though, they'll fly down your shirt and bite you. :eek:

Let's see, dahlias, cannas and gladioluses to dig, newer plants to label so I don't forget them over winter, and lots of dead things to cut down. I like to start out spring planting and dividing, so I try to get most of the clean up work done in late fall. When the tender new spring shoots come up, dead foliage just gets in the way. Some plants are attractive when dead, so I do leave various artemisias, ornamental grasses, and Autumn Joy sedum. Just make a note to get out there very early in the spring to cut them down. Things seem to happen so quickly in spring, it's quite easy to fall behind.

Of course, I leave all the live stuff, which is actually quite a bit. The first year biennials, such as sweet William, hollyhocks, rose campion, and mullein are still growing. Lots of perennials have been rejuvenated by the cooler weather. A walk through the garden last Thursday showed primrose, coreopsis, yucca, chives, columbine, borage, veronica, blue flax, Shasta daisy, garlic, red hot poker plant, calendula, forget-me-not, horseradish, poppies, lambs ear, bishops weed, strawberries, lavender, sage, thyme, catnip, snapdragons, hold it! The garden's not dead yet! It's just too chilly to enjoy it. Unfortunately, all these plants will eventually die back, and my winter interest will become my wood stove. ;)

When you cut the dead plants back, don't leave the ground bare and exposed. Mowed leaves are perfect for covering the open areas and sleeping perennials, insulating them and enriching the soil. My wonderful in-laws have many mature trees in their yard, and they are kind enough to pick up the leaves with their mower and bag them for my garden. The crispy dried leaves look so pretty in all the golden hues of autumn. They smell good on sunny, early winter days. Dried leaves are gold for your garden, if you don't have your own, ask a friend or neighbor for theirs. Remember to save a few bags for mulch in the spring.

SPRING BULBS
I've never planted spring bulbs in my country garden, for fear that the chipmunks and squirrels would eat them. After watching my cats eat chipmunks and squirrels daily, I think it's worth a try. :) It seems that the first flowers of the season are the most treasured and admired. In the spring, my winter starved gardener's soul thrills at every new green growing thing. The fabulous bulb display at Botanica was all I needed to take the plunge. The bulbs weren't pre-packaged, so I was able to purchase any amount I wanted. The selection was out of this world, and individual bags and planting instructions were available for all the different varieties. Most of our local garden stores carry spring bulbs, so shop around and see what you can find.

The areas where I recently dug up the cannas, dahlias, and glads seems like the natural place to plant my new alliums, tulips, and narcissus. I'm going to plant them in half circles, towards the front, so there will be room for the summer bulbs late next May, in the middle of the half-circles and towards the back. I love trying new things in the garden, and look forward to my experiment next spring.



......So, there's some tips for bedding down the garden, it was fun to add the Entmoot smilies! :)

[IronParrot]

Now that I'm back in school I resumed writing for The Gateway, the campus newspaper. Last year I mostly did movie reviews and such for A&E, but this year I switched over to Opinion.

Enjoy. Also ignore the editorial errors (some actually weren't present in my original draft, but the section editor mistakenly introduced them... oops).

http://www.gateway.ualberta.ca/view.php?aid=1617

HAL 9000 garbage can accosts writer
Nicholas Tam

Ever since I discovered that certain four-letter words score assloads of points in Scrabble, my mother gave me stern warnings about talking trash. I had no idea she was being literal.

One weekend, while I was down in the tropical resort town of Calgary, I took lunch at a little place called North Hill Mall. What I saw there can only be described as an extraordinary feat of applied electronics. The traditional food court garbage units with the “PUSH” in front were nowhere to be seen; in their place were physically similar receptacles that exhibited marked behavioural differences. For instance, when I lowered a tray in front of one, the little infrared sensor in front detected the incoming cargo of post-taco flotsam, and the deposit door opened—by itself.

In an age when toilets flush better than we do, this was hardly surprising. But here’s the really nifty part: the garbage can spoke to me. And I don’t mean that in the pseudo-philosophical, “that Gateway article really spoke to me” sense. It actually said something profound about the grand environmentalist vision, and come to think of it, the pre-recorded voice did sound a little like former SU president Mike Hudema.

Granted, these semi-intelligent Garbage-Trons might be all over the place by now, but considering that my shopping savvy rarely exceeds a weekly run for Kraft Dinner and the latest issue of The Economist, this was something really special. You just know that somewhere, an aspiring sci-fi aficionado was having a good laugh about how Gene Roddenberry never came up with this one.

A quick search on Google revealed this to be WasteCare Corporation’s revolutionary Smart-Pack, whose primary selling feature is an automatic compaction feature that effectively multiplies its capacity tenfold. Now, if only they could make auto-compacting elevators.

Unfortunately, like all early-adopted technological marvels, the Smart-Pack is not without its shortcomings. Human laziness conquers all, hence the purpose of technology; ergo, no degree of waste-disposal-induced entertainment value is going to stop people from littering. What these beauties really need is a litter deterrent, like a pair of go-go-Gadget arms that reach out and give you a deserved backhand slap in the face if you’re caught leave a dirty tray lying around. Or if you throw out something recyclable, like an aluminium can, it can spit it back out with a curt “I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.” This might be a bit of a safety hazard if an ejected bottle hits a kid in the face, but the little brats need to learn the hard way nice and early.

Aside from these wish-list recommendations, the real problems with the Smart-Pack are less technological than they are economic. I witnessed a periodic rotation of janitorial employees that were clearly above opening a door and removing a garbage bag every hour. Instead, they were specialists wearing utility belts loaded with screwdrivers and Geiger counters and the like, fiddling around with a nest of circuitry as if defusing a bomb. Budding electrical engineers be warned: the state of the job market in the tech sector is shambled to the point where you are going to end up servicing garbage bins in shopping malls.

At the other end of the spectrum, janitorial staffs are going to see widespread layoffs and skyrocketing unemployment as the Smart-Pack increases in prevalence. Given the level of experience that I imagine is required to maintain these contraptions, we can now strike professional custodians off the list of no-qualification jobs. That means more desperate job-seekers will end up turning to companies like Aramark instead, which will be unequivocally bad for our health in all the ways that tidy public areas are good.

Others might say that this is the first step towards a Terminator-esque future where intelligent waste receptacles will rise up and kill as all, but between you and me, that’s a load of garbage.

[Lizra]

Excellent writing! Love it, IP! :) I saw one of these talking trash cans at a "Taco Bell" last year. I remeber it burped after my son threw his trash in...he LOVED it! :D
Actually, there were two machines, but one was already jammed and suffering from severe machine indigestion...broken. :) (lazy employees allowed it to eat too much? )The second one disappeared later. The trash business is a tough one!

[IronParrot]

Thanks, Lizra. There's going to be more where that came from. Obviously it's in a very different vein from your gardening column... :)