Tolkien Lover Anonymous 3, The Sil(ly)marillion

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Yay! Awesome ending to Return of TLA guys, and since we're all impatient and the idea is fresh in my head right now I'm gonna start the Sil(ly)marillion right now if that's alright with everybody.

It was a quiet day in the middle of april. The members of TLA were on spring break and their meeting that day was more subdued than usual as they were all recovering from the strain of their previous adventures, however, this unnatural calm was not to last.

Miriam: So... what should we discuss today guys? We've gone over the preliminary parts of your therapy.

there is no answer apart from a few bored shrugs and muttered responses.

Miriam: (getting desperate) Why don't we go over that ancient history you guys wanted to tell me about? Oh for goodness sake! What is wrong with all of you today?!

Tano: I dunno, it's just one of those days.

Earniel: (sneezes) And there's this bug going around.

Renille: We've all got the unpleasent prospect of going back to school next week.

Claenoic: And it raining out.

This just about sums it up and the rest of the TLA seconds these statments. The counselor sighs and looks over to Willow who has been moping in a corner the entire time.

Miriam: You've been awfully quiet today, what's up?

Tano:rollseyes: Ignore her, she's been depressed because she's been banned from middle earth.

Miriam: Huh?

Willow: Remember in the last story we told you? How my evil twin cursed me? I can't move around in middle earth with my own body anymore. And as amusing as it is to be a faerie I want my body back.

Miriam: So, why don't you find a way to break the curse?

Earniel: That's an interesting idea, how would you suggest breaking it? We've tried before, it's been a problem the entire time we've been obsessed.

Miriam: (caught in her own trap she thinks back to all the stories she has ever heard involving curses) Well, she's a fairy, isn't the usual method of breaking curses in fairy tales something along the lines of a kiss from the right person?

Willow: (a little annoyed that she's been mistaken for a fairytale fairy) Only in the immature littlekid versions, it's not that easy in Middle Earth.

Miriam: Why not? I mean, the right person is usually a noble of some sort right? And I seem to remember you saying that you're original body was an elf so wouldn't the right person be of elvish nobility?

Renille: I think maybe it is time we taugt you some ancient history, there are quite a few members of elvish nobility, what are you suggesting, that we persuade every noble elven male to kiss Willow?

Miriam: Well, why not? We'll be around them anyway if you try to teach me about them, and it can't hurt her.

The faerie in question was about to protest this comment when Katt and Human burst in the door

Katt: You'll never believe what we found out!

Claenoic: Try us.

Human: This guy, he built a weird machine that can travel through time and space and he went someplace with it-

Katt: It was all over the news, anyway, we tracked him because we wanted to see where he went-

Human: And he and all his high tech gadgets ended up in middle earth, somewhere during the first or second age, we couldn't quite tell.

Elf Girl: You don't think this'll start the worlds blending together again you?

Morauko: That would be our luck.

Miriam: We're going on another mission again aren't we?

Tano: Probably, this guy, whoever he is, can't be allowed to remain in middle earth, esspecially considering the time in which he arrived there.

Earniel: Which happens to be the time that we wanted to teach you about.

Claenoic: And while we're there it wouldn't hurt to try your idea about the curse.

Renille: To Middle Earth it is then, where shall we start?

Willow: (reluctantly uncurls herself from the corner and fiddles with Vilya, which she has somehow kept) At the beginning would probably be best. I'm familier with the time period to which we'll be going. Is everybody ready for the story to begin?

everybody nods, or shouts their consent.

Very well. (she takes a deep breath and begins as she speaks the room fades and they find themselves standing in a large an infinite void) In the beginning there was Eru, the one, who in Arda is called Illuvatar...

[Fred Baggins]

May I join?

Character Faith Lowe, descrip posted later, bell just rang.

[Elf Girl]

Post in the "TLA- Discussion" thread first. We still have some planning to do, Willow kind of jumped into it... *elbows Willow*

[Christiana]

OOC:im here! my play is over!!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!

[Finrod Felagund]

[edited] I'll re add my post later when we get past the Noldor coming to Valinor.

[Fimbrethil]

Kementari, who is also known as Yavanna but I would rather be called Kementari it's prettier! (Sorry if this is soppused to go in the TLA disscusion. I'm new at be patient!) Kementari was talking to one of her best friends Fimbrethil and their conversation went something like this: Kementari: Well I still think you should at least tell him where you went. Fimbrethil: No way! I like it better here and if he and his other rough housing friends came here they would step on all our flowers and ruin them like they did last time! Kementari: But now the gardens where you used to live are brown and empty. Fimbrethil: *elbows Kementari* Duh! That's why they call them the brown lands!! Kementari walks off rolling her eyes. Then she says to her self: Hmmmm...I think I needed to do something about the brown lands...but I'll need a plow, a wheel barrow, an enting, and 4 or 5 entdroughts. I bet I could even make a new line of entdrought and market them...lets see entdrought twist, diet entdrought, diet entdrought twist...

[Human#3.141592653]

OOC: *Scolds* shame shame! Any of you read the Sil? It starts out in the beginning there was a huge Enya concert!

ic:
In the beginning there was Eru, the one, who in Arda is called Illuvatar...and he busted out the synthesizer! Eru placed (its?) delicately fingered hand (this is all a huge metaphor, by the way, And I don’t mean that in a sick way! Get your mind out of the gutter!) on the keys and began to play. As he played the Ainur joined in and they created music. During all this the TLA watched from a corner.

Miriam: This?! This is how the world began?

Willow: (dreamily) Yup… isn’t it pretty… (sees Katt bobbing her head to the music playing on her CD player.) Katt! Stop that! How can you possibly be listening to ‘Tubular Bells’ at a time like this?

Katt: Am not!

Human: (Quitely to self) “Grand pianos…”

Katt: I’m listening to the Presidents of the United States, thank you very much!

Willow: Well, knock it off!!

Katt: Oh, all right…*Katt places the CD player aside and turns attention back to concert. The music moves even her small cold stone heart, and she sways appreciatively to the harmony*

Melkor: Wow! This is so beautiful, peaceful, and filling! I should never want for any else in all my life! *Spies CD player* Ooh! Hello, what have we got here…? *Picks up CD player and scurries away.*

Miriam: So… This is how the world began…

Elf Girl: Yes, in the beginning everything was in perfect harmony, there was no discord, it was all perfection and beauty.

Miriam: *thinks on this for a while* So… What happened?

*Just then, as if on cue, Melkor, who had been listening to Katt’s CD burst out into song, a song that was completely at odds with the rest of the harmony causing everyone to wince.*


Melkor: Movin' to the country,
Gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin' to the country,
Gonna eat me a lot of peaches
Movin' to the country,
gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin' to the country,
gonna eat a lot of peaches
Peaches come from a can,
they were put there by a man
In a factory downtown
If I had my little way,
I'd eat peaches every day

Earniel: *sighs in annoyance* That happened.

Miriam: Oh… You mean to tell me that the entire world is corrupt because some over-curious vala decided to sing a modern rock song off key?

Willow: Seems so, not to mention one of Katt’s modern rock songs.

Tano: Does this mean that Katt’s responsible for all the evil in the world?

Katt: Whoops…?

Miriam: Whoops? Whoops?! Is that all you have to say in your defense??

Katt: …I’m sorry?

Human: That’s it! Go to your room!

Katt: But…but…*whine* But my room doesn’t exist yet!

[Christiana]

Christiana starts to sing In Dreams softly.

[Nazgûl Queen]

*Amidst all the discord, Illuvatar arose and Christiana's Song began amid the storm, both like and unlike the previous. The Ainur and TLA join Christiana in singing, and the new melody both utilises and overpowers the music of melkor, making the tune all prettiful again* :)

Miriam: Prettiful... that's not even a word!

Morauko: It is too!

Miriam: *gets out her handy dictionary* No, it's not. Look. *points*

Morauko: Awwwwww

*As i was saying... the new and beautiful tune grew strength, but the tune of melkor opposed it ever fiercer, and there was discord once more. Then Illuvatar stood again, and he looked stern. He nodded at Morauko and TLA, and as one they began to sing Aniron. The Valar soon joined in, and this delicate and sweet tune grew and developed and could not be quenched*

Melkor: Hey! that's not fair! *sings louder, his tune loud and repititive in opposition to the depth and sorrow of the Tune of Illuvatar. But no matter how much it fought, every note was utilised in the tune of illuvatar, and woven into the pattern. then, Illuvatar held up his hands, turned a switch and the power went off.*

Katt: Why's the music stopped?

Tano: Who turned off the lights.

Elf Girl: Quiet! Illuvatar speaks.

[Earniel]

Illuvatar: Mighty are the TLA and the Ainur and mightiest among them is Melkor. Though he may want to try to sing in key next time. And since I'm such a nice guy, I'll show you just what you sang.

Eärniel: Oh no, not scores I hope, I can't read a single note!

All: SSSSSH!

Eärniel:sorry

Illuvatar: Anyway, just remember everyone and especially you Melkor that no theme may be played that hath not its uttermost source in me, nor can alter the music in my despite.

Katt: *nudges Willow* Hang on, does that mean Illuvatar gave us the Presidents of the United States?

Illuvatar: *drums impatiently on the arm of his throne at yet another interruption.

Willow: *whispers* Katt, just shut up, he's looking in our direction.

Illuvatar: Where was I again? Oh yes... Come with me.

*And both Ainur and TLA followed him to the Void.*

Illuvatar: *snaps his fingers* Behold your Music!

all: OOOOOH!

Tano: Look! It got four elephants under it!

Human: And such a large turtle beneath them, cool!

Elf girl: It looks like... like a disc!

Illuvatar: Elephants? Turtle? Disc? What the...? *looks for himself* Oh darn, wrong universe... *snaps fingers again* Ahum... Behold your Music!

*And before them a vision of a world appeared*

Alll: OOOOOOH!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Katt: Is it edible?

OOC: Yay! I caused dischord in the Great Harmony! I want my CD player back now. Maybe I'll go sulk over it and turn into Ungoliant.

[Willow Oran]

Illuvatar: *gives Katt 'The Look'* No, you may not eat it.

Katt: Well, actually, technically it would have to edible because otherwise how will your children survive, you're contradicting yourself again.

TLA: Katt! It's ineffable, you don't second guess ineffablilty.

Illuvatar: Correct, now that I have shown you all what your music looks like I will send some of you out into the void to construct the vision. Who will go?

[Elf Girl]

Elf Girl: *puts up hand* I will!

Iluvatar: But... You're just a TLA member.

Elf Girl: But I was humming along when you sang the first time. And that makes me an Ainu! So there!

Miriam: She's an emu?

Willow: *to counselor* Shut up!

Iluvatar: Ah well. I suppose you can go...

Elf Girl: And I can bring my friends, right?

Iluvatar: Well...

Elf Girl: Pleeeeeeeeease? *puppy dog eyes*

Iluvatar: *sigh* All right.

Elf Girl: Yippeeeeeeeeee! I hereby dub myself OloriGirl, the most annoying of the Ainur!

Iluvatar: *mutter* What have I gotten myself into?

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Katt: Yay! We're going to create things!

Iluvatar: *Gives Katt a look that plainly says that she should not be allowed to create anything because she would be too compeled to consume it.*

Katt: But what if I only eat my own things?

Iluvatar: No.

Katt: Fine. Humnph! *grumble* I lost my CD player, AND I don't get to create anything. *grumble* I wonder if it's over here...

*And they were released into the voidd*

[Claenoic]

Claenoic: WHEEEEE!!! I wanna be Vaire!!

All:...

Renille: Um... isn't Vaire the least mentioned Vala in the entire Silmarillion?

Claenoic: *Blinks, then smiles* Yea, but she knows and has seen all that has been through her tapestries. So I *beams* CAN SEE THE WORLD!!!!!

Tano:... Your inner Luster is kicking in already, isn't it?

Claenoic: Double time.

OOC: WHEEEEE 500th POST!!!! W000000000T!!!!!!

[Finrod Felagund]

Finrod:...
*seeing as Finrod was not yet born, he said nothing. *
Finwe: *snores*

[Elf Girl]

The TLA is alone in the Void.

Miriam: *shiver*

They hear a faint voice from outside.

Manwë: Wait - for - us!

Manwë: *appears next to TLA*

Elf Girl: Oooh! I'm a Maia now! I'm OloriGirl, of the people of Manwë! *goes to stand next to Manwë*

Manwë: *moves away* Umm... let's create the world, shall we?

Elf Girl: Oooh let's!

Katt: We need to wait for the rest of the Valar and the Maiar.

Elf Girl: *lip trembles* But I wanna create the world NOW!

Willow: *desperate* Let's all keep calm, shall we? *pointed look at Elf Girl*

Elf Girl: *bursts into tears*

Manwë: *glances at Elf Girl and groans* Great... *Glances into the as-yet-nonexistant sky* VAR-DA! Get down here and calm this idiot Maia!

[Christiana]

Christiana is shaking her head sadly at EG

[Nazgûl Queen]

Varda: *appears next to Manwe* You called?

Morauko: VARDA!!!! *attaches herself to her leg*

Varda: *blinks*

Morauko: Can I be one of your Maia? PLEEEEAAASE???!

Varda: Ummmmm...

Morauko: I'll be good, honest! Just ask them... hey, OloriGirl, aren't i a well-behaved person???

Olorigirl: Well...

Miriam: WHAT?! *rolls around laughing*

Morauko: *gives Varda the puppy-dog eyes*

Varda: Alriiiiight... *sighs*

Morauko: YAY!

Varda: What have i gotten myself into?

OOC: Hehehehe... I loooove Varda!!! Oh, and one of us should be Melian!!! Then we have an excuse to torment... I mean.... tour.... middleearth ;)

[Elvellyn]

The TLA hears snickering far off. The turn to see Elvellyn laughing at Morauko.

Elvellyn: Ha ha! I'm already a Maia! I don't have to beg Varda for anything!

Miriam: Elvellyn I think your teasing is a result of repressed feelings of resentment and anger.

*Elvellyn breaks down crying* Oh how did you know? That's like putting my life into words.

Miriam(hopeful): Really?

Elvellyn: No. *She straightens up and gives the TLA her puppy dog eyes.* But I would like to go into the void with you. May I pretty please?

[Renille]

OOC- NQ, was the Melian thing a general suggestion, or did you want to be Melian? Because I would gladly take the part, but only if you don't particularly want it! I can be anyone, I really honestly don't care! But let me get into the game...:p

Renille- Look! I'm here!

Varda- NOOOO! Not you, anyone...anyone but you!*blinks* Who are you again?

Renille- I don't quite understand that myself, being created less than three days ago and all...but I wanted to ask...

Varda- Yes.

Ren-Thank you! I think I'll like being a Maia or Vala...whichever I'm needed as.

Varda- But you're NOT needed...oh...this poor future world!

[TinuvielChild]

TC: *snerk* Hey, lookie, dead things! Don't they belong to Mandos? *starts chewing on some random flesh* Mm, yum, tastes like chicken. Oh wait, it is chicken. Never mind...

Mandos: *coldly* Those are my dead things. Kindly refrain from chewing on them.

TC: *still chewing* Why? I like meat. Can I be a Maia or something? I'll promise to stop eating your dead things...

Mandos: Go talk to Manwë over there. He's in charge...I think...

TC: *insanely cheerful voice* Okay. Lemme finish this chicken, okay?

Mandos: Gaaaah. Look, take the chicken, eat the chicken, do whatever you want to the chicken. JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

TC: Ooh, five exclamation points, the sure sign of someone who wears his underwear on the outside! But you're not wearing your underwear on the outside. Do Valar even wear underwear at all? Semper ubi sub ubi, you know...

Mandos: Gaaaaaah....

TC: You said that already. :D *wanders off to pester Manwë, and find out whether Valar wear underwear*

[Nazgûl Queen]

((OOC: No, I don't really want to be Melian. I just want an excuse to go into middleearth... although I would like to be luthien, which is kinda a contradiction as I am already a Maia...))

[Elf Girl]

Mandos: You have got to be the most annoying Maia...

OloriGirl: Hey! I'm the most annoying! Not her!

Nazgûl Queen: Nonono! I'M the most annoying!

OloriGirl: But it's in my title! OloriGirl the most annoying of the Ainur!

TinuvielChild: No, I'm the most annoying! *to Manwë* Do Valar wear underwear?

OloriGirl: Do Valar wear shoes?

NQ: Do Valar wear hair ties?

Manwë: I can't take it... *bursts into tears*

Varda: There, there.

NQ: ELBERETH GILTHONIEL!

Varda: The Elves don't exist yet. Why are you calling me that?

*the three Most Annoying Ainur turn on Varda to exercise there annoying-ness*

OloriGirl: Vaaaaaar-daaaaaaa, I wanna create the world.

TC: Are we there yet?

NQ: Where did you get that chicken?

TC: Mandos said we could eat all of his dead things!

Mandos: I didn't say...

*The Most Annoying Ainur turn on Mandos*

OloriGirl: Do Valar wear shoes?

TC: Do Valar wear underwear?

NQ: Do Valar wear hair ties?

Mandos: VAIRE! Help me...

Claenoic: I'm Vaire!

Mandos: Not another one... *passes out*

TC: So can we eat his dead things, Claenoic?

(OOC: Just my personal revenge on the Valar. :D )

[Laurelyn]

(note: meant to be before Elf Girl's post. I'm just a slow typer and she beat me to it:D)

Laurelyn:
*watches amusedly as various TLA members are, well, amusing* Hmm . . . I wonder what will happen next?
*thinks about that* Oh . . . wait a minute . . . I wanna be part of what happens next! Wait!
*shakes bars on windows* D*mn! Let me out! The Real Life Gods have trapped me . . . stupid . . .
*curses violently, and gives her bars a particularly hard shake. One of them bends.*
Oooh . . . they break?
*crashes and booms are heard*
Haha. Lousy construction job. :D *looks around* Okay, now that that's over with . . . to go help make Middle-Earth and torment its citizens. Wait! WAIT! WAIT FOR MEEE!
*trips, falls on face* Ouch . . . *lands in a heap in Middle-Earth and is stepped on by Manwe*
Ouch . . . hello, Manwe!

Manwe: What the heck??!
Laurelyn: What's up? Other than previously falling TLA members? Oh, wait, no, I'm down now.
Manwe: *stares and mutters* Why in Middle Earth did I let her free?
Iluvatar: Smart one, Manwe. Why did you?
Manwe: Wish I knew . . .
Laurelyn: Can you point me in Yavanna's direction? I've always wanted to meet her.
Manwe: Should I? Poor Yavanna!
Laurelyn: Or Aule.
Manwe: Look, if you're going to drop in here, you could at least get yourself a part to play.
Laurelyn: Rats. Do I hafta?
Manwe: *sternly* Yes. You hafta.
Laurelyn: Fine. I'll be . . . . i'll be . . . er . . .
*two hours later* Er . . . . I'll be . . .
Manwe: Oh, go away! You're wasting my time, you're being annoying, and TC wants to come find out if I wear underwear. Begone! Find a part when it jumps out at you.
Laurelyn: What? TC wants to find out if you wear underwear? Yikes . . .
Manwe: That sounded wrong, didn't it.
Laurelyn: Yep.
Manwe: She wants to know if Valar wear underwear.
Laurelyn: Oh.
Manwe: You may go away now, you know.
Laurelyn: Do Valar wear underwear?
Manwe: GO AWAY!!!
Laurelyn: Yikes! Angry Manwe! *scuttles quickly off*

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *looks around at the squabbling people, the void and the nothingness* Hm. Isn´t that interesting. I wonder what this is in my pockets...? *pulls out something in a foil wrapper, unwraps it, and eats a piece* Whoa....nice. I just made chocolate...
Earniel: You just made what?
Tano: I think I´ll call it chocolate. Here, try some.


ooc: Spain is muy marvellioso and very very gorgeous...and Earniel, your postcard will be sent as soon as I get stamps! :)

[Earniel]

OOC: OOOH! You beat me to it!:p I was planning on making chocolate too. I guess that's the TLA'er in us speaking. :) Have fun and more fun in Spain Tano!

IC:

Eärniel: Hey this tastes nice... *eats a piece of the offered chocolate* It tastes like... like... something ... *munch, munch* ... yummie.

Elvellyn: Is that all you have to say? Tano creates like the first real thing on Middle-Earth and all you say is that it tastes yummie?

Eärniel: Well it does... I could eat loads of it. *looks lovingly at the piece of chocolate* I think this is the start of a wonderful relationship between you and me, chocolate. *stuffs the piece in her mouth* Mmmm... chocolate...

TC: *to Manwë* So how about that underwear?

Manwë: ENOUOUOUOUOUGH!

*everyone stops being anoying and stares*

Varda: Manwë-dear, you don't have to shout. We can all hear you.

Manwë: But... honey... I can't stand it anymore. They ARE annoying.

Varda: *waves finger* That's still no reason.

Manwë: But.. but... *sighs* Very well. *starts monologue* Alright people! We've got a world to build. You! *points to the TLA* are here to HELP us Valar do so, understand? To HELP! Is that clear? Good. Now I've got here the plan drawn by Iluvatar detailing what and where we will create things. It's a tight schedule and I want you people to follow it by the letter. The world must be an exact copy of the world we saw in the vision. We'll split you up in groups. Aulë, you'll be making mountains. Yavanna, you'll be in cha...

Varda: Oh give it up Manwë-dear. They're not even listening anymore.

*Manwë looks up from the plan to see the TLA wander around the still empty world creating what and where they saw fit. It involved a lot of laughter and several odd creations. *

Manwë: *sigh* Why didn't I stay Ainu?

[Laurelyn]

Laurelyn: What is that? *stares at a stange, glowing thing that is vaguely roundish and is making odd sounds*
Thing: Mrmphlewrmphle.
Laurelyn: Hey! That's my word! Honestly. What are they doing? Making word thieves? Eek. I wanna make stuff too! Maybe I ought to get a part after all. MANWE!
Varda: Quiet, child, I can hear you up here.
Laurelyn: Well, unless you can move me to where the rest of the TLA is, I don't want you.
Varda: Nope.
Laurelyn: MAAA--NNNWEEEEE!!!!
Manwe: *winces* Hello.
Laurelyn: Ah, there you are. Can you move me to the rest of the TLA, please?
Manwe: Just don't yell again, please.
Laurelyn: Nope. *crosses fingers*
Manwe: Here goes . . .
*Laurelyn falls on top of Earniel's head*
Earniel: Ouch! What was that for?
Laurelyn: Oh, hello. Good morning . . . did I bother you?

[Nazgûl Queen]

Morauko: *takes a piece of chocolate* Oooh... this is nice... VARDA!!!

Varda: *sighs* yes, morauko?

Morauko: Can i make a chocolate tree? Puh-lease?!!!

Varda: No.

Morauko: Awwwwwwwwwww... but it's so yummy, and addictive!

Varda: You'd all go on a sugar high.

Morauko: Too late.

Varda: Oh...

Morauko: So it wouldn't make any difference... please? *puppy-dog eyes*

Varda: I said NO!

Morauko: But... but...

Varda: Besides, trees are Yavanna's job. Go pester her.

Morauko: But she doesn't like me!

Varda: *mutters under her breath* Neither do I...

Morauko: What?

Varda: Nothing.

Morauko: I know... *gives varda a piece of chocolate* See?

Varda: Oooh, this IS nice! Why didn't i think of it?

Morauko: i TOLD you so!!!

Varda: Well, i guess it couldn't hurt to make ONE chocolate tree... in Valinor... HEY! YAVANNA!!!

Yavanna: Yes?

Varda: Do you think you can make us a couple of chocolate trees?

Yavanna: Sure. *snaps fingers and two trees appear, one cloaked in leaves of white chocolate and the other in dark chocolate with milk flowers* There you go, Varda.

Varda: Thanks, Yavanna. *makes them give off light*

Yavanna: I think I'll call them Chocelin and Telperichoc.

Morauko: *dances around in joy*

Varda: *whispers to Yavanna* That's an odd one... but at least she doesn't care about our underwear...

Tano: Did you mention underwear?

Yavanna: Now you've done it!

[TinuvielChild]

OOC: Yay! :D I started an underwear epidemic!

IC:

Manwe: For the love of Eru, somebody get me some aspirin..

Varda: Sweet, aspirin's not been invented yet.

Manwe: Earplugs, then?

Varda: Nope.

Manwe: How about an AK-47?

Varda: Look, we're not supposed to kill them. They've got some destiny or other to fulfill, and besides...they invented....(yells to tano) What's it called again?

Entire TLA: CHOCOLATE!!!

Varda: Yeah, chocolate. Here, have some.

Manwe: *grumbles* *bites into some Belgian chocolate, courtesy of Earniel. Oh wait, there's no Belgium yet, so there's no Belgian chocolate. And there's no Belgium in Middle Earth. But there's Belgian chocolate, because I say so* *eyes bug out* *steals the rest of Earniel's chocolate*

Earniel: HEY! That's MY chocolate! Give it back! Oh wait, there're those lovely chocolate trees over there...Mm. Yum. *munches happily on Chocelin*

[Christiana]

Christiana:Lookit!I just invented chocolate-covered strawberries!

TLA:OOOoooooHhhh!

*everyone digs in*

Christa: Aule, I think chocolate should be the seventh element!!!!

Aule: Oo What are the other six?

Christa:Earth, water, air, fire, sugar, and annoying TLA'ers.

Aule:Errrrrrr........well, I'll think about it.

Christa: Yippeeeeee!!!!!!Oh, by the way, do YOU know if Valar wear underwear?:D ;) :p

Aule:*faints*

OOC:yes, Im eeeeeeevvvviiiillllllll.*does witch cackle*I go around giving Valar heartattacks

[Earniel]

*As the TLA get Yavannah, Varda and Manwë addicted to chocolate, the other Valar are trying to do what they must. Aulë (after he woke up and made sure there was a lot of distance between him and the TLA) made mountains and for the heck of it made two giant lamps, putting on in the South and one in the North. Ulmo devised rivers and...*

Eärniel: Look! Water! WHEEEEEEEE! *jumps in the little river and starts splashing anyone.*

*Must I be interrupted every time?*

Eärniel: Oh shut up, spoilsport! *splashed the narrator*

*Humpf*

Manwë: *wiping the water from his face* You know, Ulmo. That was NOT the brightest of ideas.

Ulmo: Look I can't HELP it if these TLA use everything I make the WRONG way, okay? Iluvatar said 'rivers' so I make 'rivers'. Now if you will excuse me I got a sea to fill.

Eärniel: Oh, can I come too?

Ulmo: Um...

Manwë: Yes! For Eru's sake, go with him!

Eärniel: Yippie! *immediatly starts pestering Ulmo about this sea*

Ulmo: *glares at Manwë* Thanks pal. I'll remember that.

Manwë: It's easy for you, hiding in your seas and rivers, I got more than just one of them on MY hands!

Varda: Hey, has any one seen Melkor? I haven't seen him for a while?

[Laurelyn]

Laurelyn: *plays OMINOUS MUSIC on a keyboard she thought up*
Everyone: *stares*
Laurelyn: *smiles sweetly*
(there is a crash heard)
Aule: *whiny* Mel-kor! That was my mountain!
Everybody: :rolleyes:
Tanoliel: Shall we give him some chocolate?
Manwe: Maybe . . .
Earniel: Or we could eat it all.
Nazgul Queen: That could make him mad.
TC: Yes, true, but chocolate could make him hyper.
Everyone: *imagines sugar-high Melkor* *shudders*
Tano: So we won't give him chocolate, then.

Manwe: Do you think this will cause an irreparable rift between he and us?
Varda: Perhaps, dear.
Manwe: Oh, well.
(there is another thud, and a spalsh)
Ulmo and Aule: Meeelll-koor! That was . . . .
Manwe: Oh, great.

[Earniel]

OOC: Mwahahah! I could picture that scene right away! :D Too funny!

[Tanoliel]

Tano: I wanna create something else. How about....*she pulls out a sketchbook and begins to draw random creatures* I like this one...
Manwe: *peers over her shoulder* No. You are NOT on any terms allowed to create any of those.
Tano: But..
Manwe: NO.
Tano: Do Valar wear underwear?
Manwe: Rrr....*grits teeth* YOU MAY NOT CREATE THOSE CREATURES! *grabs notebook*
Tano: Hey! Mine! *a struggle ensues, in which Manwe suceeds in making off with the notebook--but not after Tano has torn a page from it, which he doesn´t notice*
Manwe: Hah. That´ll stop you. *leaves, smugly*
Tano: *sniff* Only one left...*looks down at paper* I think I´ll save it for later...


ooc: I think it´s the beastie from War for Middle Earth...:D

[Christiana]

Christa:what was THAT?!

*that, miss, was Melko blowing up Aule's favorite mountain*


Christiana: It's MELKOR not MELKO you peabrain!Melko was dropped at the end of the HOME! By the way, im not MISS!




Melko:Hey Melkor,whats up?

Melkor:NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!Not my split personality showing up again!!!

[Claenoic]

Claenoic/Vaire: *From far away in the Halls of Mandos*

Mandos: Hey, I haven't even made those yet!

*Hush, questionable underpants wearing Valar*

Mandos: Good grief.

*And besides, Iluvatar hasn't made Charles Schultz yet either.*

Mandos:...

*May I continue?*

Mandos: *Whiney* Yes... *mutters* WHY did I have to marry one of the only insane Valier out there?

Claenoic/Vaire: Because you WUV me!!! *sparkle*

Mandos: *Sighs*

*And, to continue, Claenoic/Vaire's voice echoes from the halls of Mandos...*

Claenoic/Vaire: MEEEEELLLKORRR!!! That was my first tapestry, and you had to go and ruin it. Now I have to start ALL over again...

Melkor: ... But Time has lasted only about 2 Hours...

Claenoic: So?

*Melkor looks about at the chaos around him. He realizes that's a lot of events to record.*

Melkor: Good point.

[Elf Girl]

Meanwhile, OloriGirl is still tormenting Manwë.

OloriGirl: I want a staff. I'm a Maia, don't I get a staff?

Manwë: Well...

OloriGirl: *puppy dog eyes*

Manwë: All right. *creates a wooden staff for OloriGirl*

Olorigirl: No WAIT! Actually I don't want a staff. I want a Wingless Plastic Balrog Toy that goes "Squeak"!

Manwë: TOO LATE! You've got a staff! Live with it!

OloriGirl: If you don't give me a Wingless Plastic Balrog Toy that goes "Squeak", I will defect to Melkor and become a Balrog.

Manwë: NO.

OloriGirl: Then I'll make one myself! *creates a Wingless Plastic Balrog Toy that goes "Squeak"*

Manwë: Why hast thou done this? Whyy dost thou attempt a thing which thou knowest is beyond thy power and thy authority? For thou hast from me as a gift thy own being only and no more, SO DON'T EVER CREATE ANYTHING ELSE EVER AGAIN!!!

Iluvatar: Don't steal my lines!

Varda: *pats Manwë on the back* There, there, dear.

OloriGirl: *pouts* But everyone ELSE is creating things...

Manwë: *sniff* But there things are USEFUL.

OloriGirl: I'll give you a piece of chocolate if you let me create things...

Manwë: CHOCOLATE! *drool*

OloriGirl: Other peoples creations ARE useful... *creates Neopets, but has no idea what she has done*

[Laurelyn]

Melkor:

Lessee . . . ooh, lookee! Click 'sign me up', hmm. Username? Melkor . . . password . . . I'll be darned if I tell you . . . age . . . older that you are, buster . . . .
Create pet . . . ooh, look at the cute little Shoyrus! But I like the Lupes. Hmm . . . done . . . hey, Balrog the Lupe. Let's go visit Neopia!

Other Valar: Iluvatar! He's gotten his hands on a weapon of mass destruction!
Iluvatar: Hey, you guys deal with it.
All: That's not fair!
OrliGirl: Ooops . . .
Manwe: Did you have anything to do with this?
OrliGirl: Oh, me? No, no way. *innocent look*
Laurelyn: Nope, she didn't do anything!
*lots of eyebrow-raising*

[Christiana]

*Christiana pouts at being ignored*
Christiana:Hey!Watch it!
*you are being ignored you know*
Christa:Shutup
*Make me*
Christa:butthead
*idiot*
Christa:Protozoan
*Fungi*
Christa:Amoeba
*Parimesium*

*and so, the first insult match Ever had begun*

Christa:psudeopod

[Earniel]

*Suddenly Eärniel comes running back to the rest of the TLA. A giant mass of jumping amphibian creatures follows right behind her. Their croaking and 'nibbit, nibbit' fill the air. Varda shrieks and jumps into Manwë's arms.*

Eärniel: Hey guys, look wat I made!

*She stops in front of the rest. The little army settles at her feet.*

Manwë: What... what are those?

Eärniel: *beams proudly* Frogs! Cute, no?

Varda: They're slimy.

Eärniel: *insulted* So's your underwear!

TC: It is? Say Varda, do Valar actually even wear underwear?

Varda: Don't you start again!

*Unnoticed Melkor sneaks behind Eärniel and gives all her frogs bulging eyes and then runs away laughing.*

Eärniel: *whines* No! Mel-ko-ooor! That's not funny! *picks up frog* Poor thing. Mm... it doesn't look so bad. In fact now that I think of it, it's rather cute...

Melkor: Dang!

Manwë: Um... could you um... send those um... creatures away? My arms are getting stiff and Varda isn't the lightest of persons.

*Eärniel claps her hands and the little creatures jump away to ponds and rivers. Varda gets out of Manwë's arms and slaps him for good measure since he insulted her weight and then storms off.*

Manwë: *sigh* Women....

[Elf Girl]

Ulmo: *far away* What are those ugly bulge-eyed things in my rivers?!

Eärniel: *smirk*

[Christiana]

Christa:Poriferan

*Nematod*

Christa:Mollusk

*Echinoderm*

Christa:Protostome

*Narrarator goes off to bother someone else, and Christiana creates wolves and horses*

[Arcala]

Manwe: Something's biting my toes....

He looks down, and sees....ants!

Manwe: Ahh! Get off my toes, you creepy little things!

Arcala: They're called ants. Don'tcha like them?

Manwe: Not another one of them! First frogs now this!

Arcala: By the way, don't Valar wear shoes?

Manwe: Ohh.......*sighs*

[Claenoic]

Claenoic/Vaire: Unngghh... me bored *Has already filled up her tapestry making quota and is bored* Humph... MAAAAAAAAANDDOOOOOOOOOSSS!!!!!

Mandos: ... Yes? -_-

Claenoic/Vaire: As a Vala (I love saying that! I'm a VALA!!! ^_^), what else can I do?

Mandos: Umm... you merely took up weaving as a hobby. You can do anything an ordinary Vala can do.

Claenoic/Vaire: Really? *squeals* I'm gonna make something!!!! *Hops along to make something.*

Mandos: Maybe I shouldn't have said that...

Meanwhile...

*Aule loves chocolate. Really. Reallyreallly-*

Aule: Shut up

*Make me*

Aule: *Knows it's inevitable*

*Now continue*

Aule: *sighs* I'll make a number of diminutive beings that not only can help stop Melkor, but make MOUNDS and MOUNDs of Chocolate...

*Good Vala. I conquer.*

Aule: *Buries face in hands*

MEANWHILE...

Claenoic/Vaire: Hmm... *Is almost done with making the third type of animal to roam Middle-Earth. There's something missing from this black-and-white creature though... Claenoic/Vaire brightens! She has it!* Heheheheheee... *puts a beak on it* Wonderful!!!! Now what shall I call it.... PENGUIN!!!!

*A penguin materializes in front of her*

Claenoic/Vaire: Now... SPEAK, my creation!

Penguin:... Mier?

Claenoic/Vaire: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

OOC: Needed to start up the thing with Aule. As much as we know that dwarves don't have much to do with the TLA'ers, it's just nice to go bookwise for a while...

[Renille]

Renille-*comes in riding a...thing...(A horse,actually.)* WHEE! Lookit! I'm riding a horse! YAY!

Nienna- *sob* Dear child, you're going to *sob* hurt that poor, poor horse! *sob*

Renille- But, I can't help it. I LOVE riding.

*All of a sudden, out of Nienna's tears there emerged something like...a piece of plastic with writing on it. It was the very first liscence.*

Nienna- This is to control your wild habit. Now you may never leave home without it, and...

*Melkor theme music...sinister laugh...and the liscence has vanished! Kapoof! Into oblivion for poor Maia,Valar, Elves, dwarves and queens alike to search for forever and ever and ever and ever and...*

Renille- Okay. Got the point. Stop.Please. *sob*

Nienna- Oh, poor thing. Come with me. We can mourn and try to right this together. *They commence*

[Earniel]

*With help of Nienna Renille survives the dreadfull loss of the first riding license. They cannot wholly right the aweful evilness of Melkor deed but they did find a way to amend it at least a little. Together they established an age of maturity after which a person can obtain a license through a test. And Renille, like so many after her, has no other choice but to wait and long for her license until that time arrives. Meanwhile at Aulë's forge:*

Aulë: *singing along at crafting the dwarves* There! So that makes seven of them. Now all I have to do is instruct them in making sweeeet chocolate.

Iluvatar: Ahum....

Aulë: *suspicious* Who's there?

Iluvatar: You hear an disembodied heavenly voice and who do you think it is?

Aulë: *unsure* Is that you, narrator?

Iluvatar:.....

*Mwahahahah!*

Iluvatar: *sighs and silences the narrato...* No it is me, Iluvatar, you silly Vala. Just what do you think you are doing?

[goldiegollum]

A strange spirit was atracted to the singing. she liked singing herself, and felt cheeted to be left out of it. So she started singing with them, though they didn't notice. Unfortunatley, she kept on singing and flying around the wierd singing, and kept on humming and singing and dancing and having general fun because there was no gravity and didn't even notice all the others were gone.
*scratches head* errr...did I miss something?

So as usual she was late, but after a lot of wrong turns (it's hard to find your way in space, random spirits very bad at giving and recieving directions) she finally found the planet they were all creating stuff on.

ME: I WANNA DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*dives through atmosphere*
MY TURN!!!!!!!!! *arrives before manwe* sorry i'm late! C'n i be here!?? have they created trees yet??? *procedes with more annoying questions as Manwe shakes his head and wonders if Asprin has been created yet*

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: :eek: Cleonic created penguins! NOOOOOOOO! :eek: Agh! Cough! I'm gonna die!

OOC2: Sorry, that was Human. Damnit! I'm gonna make something! I got it! Oh this is so great.

*Katt is seen sitting in a medow of no real consequence, by a stream of no real consequence, making plants of no real consequence.*

Katt: Sigh! It's the first day, and I am making plants. *Hums Spring from Vivaldi's Four Seasons* I think I'll call this white one Narcissis. Look how he stares at himself.

*Yavanna walks by.*

Katt: Look what a beautious flower I have made for you!

Yavanna: That is lovely Katt, however, it needs more color. *Gestures to Narcissis and it turns a lovely shade of light blue*

Katt: Oh how lovely!

Yavanna: Very good Katt. You are not half as insane as the others.

Katt: *Twitches and accidentially crack's neck* Thank you.

*As soon as Yavanna turned her back, Katt had to stifle an evil laugh. She bit off another piece of chocolate and went back to work.*

Katt: Now, let's see. I want an animal. A soft and loveable one. One that all will adore...

*As she spoke something began to form in her hands. It was small and soft and, like all beginings, white.*

Katt: There we are. It is lovely. That is it! It will be a symbol of love and fertility, so it must breed quickly. But it is still white. How did Yavanna do it? Hmn, *Gestures to animal which suddenly becomes a frightening shade of pink.* Oh dear! It looked better white!

*Katt set the animal down and made more that she kept white this time. She set the white ones loose.*

Katt: Farewell little bunnies! But what to do with this pink one?

*Katt picked up the bunny and headed back to where she came from. There she saw Maggie.*

Katt: Maggie! Darling! Look what I made!

Maggie: What is it?

Katt: A bunny. The rest of them are white. This was my first try and I colored it rather badly. Would you like it?

Maggie: I would love it! It's so cute! Thank you Katt.

Katt: Not at all.

*Katt skipped off to go make grasshoppers. On second though, Katt thought that they should make noise but she had already let them go, so she made crickets.*

Maggie: Yes, this bunny is quite lovely. Of course there really should be two of them. And they need some modifications...

*Thus was the first Pink Fluffy Bunny created.*

OOC: :p

[Christiana]

*Just then,Melkor made a creation so evil, so hideous, that they would plauge the entire earth*
Melkor:Muhhahahahahahaa!!!!!!I just invented SSA'a and insurance salesmen!*

SSA:(to Renille) young lady, do you have a riders license?

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Ai! I leave you all alone for a couple days and... yeesh! Oh well! I suppose that as long as we remember that other stuff still needs to happen there's no harm in stretching out the creation stuff...:D :rolleyes:

IC:

Willow(I'm not Maggie yet.) : PFB's? Katt! That was MY creation!!!!
Look, you did it ALL wrong, the ears aren't long enough, the pink isn't pink enough and you have no idea what sort of internal organs they're supposed to have. Did it ever occur to you that maybe they weren't just random figments? That I had actually worked out the technicalities of these creatures? All you've done is create pink rabbits. (turns Katt's creation brown and releases it.) This is how you create PFB's.

(She snaps her fingers and there appears two PFBs, they are larger than the other rabbit and their fur is a bright pink material that, upon closer inspection turned out to be hard as steel though with a cotten candy texture, and their ears were long and wide, tapering to a point at the top. Just as they came into exsistence however they heard the Melkor theme music, and before it could be stopped...)

Willow: Melkor!!!!! Those were MY bunnies! Look what you've done! You've given the poor things fangs, that's gonna mess up their entire overbite you stupid tone deaf vala!

Melkor: (Laughs evilly, infuriating Willow)

Willow: That's it! This is war Melkor!!!! Bunnies! After him!!!!!!

(And thus began the first war between the Valar and Melkor.)

[Human#3.141592653]

OOC: Huamn turna on her computer, logs onto entmoot, and begins to type happily. But suddenly... the phone rings! Blasted phone, she thinks before getting up and answering.

Human: Hello? *No response*

She feels a strange evil taking over her...a great green cloud of evil desends from on high, and evlopes Human! Her fingers begin to fly over the key board!


IC:

Katt: *Huffs and looks sad* But..but..I only wanted to give you a nice fluffy present...and

*sniffle*

*sniffle*

*WAIL*

I'm gonna run away! And pretend to be an elf, (as soon they get here...)

OOC: Human awakes to find a strange message typed in her name... this can only be the work of a an evil, far older that thought look gone...Souron-Katt!

(Katt's idea. She really did call me up with the one cell phone (Ash Fonorir if you are wondering) ...I couldn't help it! She pocessed me! But it's a good idea; she should be Sourn in this thread as well...don't look at me like that! It makes sense!)

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: No Eliza, it's Ash For-no-rir. Accent on the last sylable. Really. Other than that it was good.

[Elvellyn]

*Elvellyn walks up to Katt*

Katt: Elvellyn, where have you been?

Elvellyn: I've been off creating things.

Katt: Well you've been gone long enough! What did you create?

Elv: *she hold something out* I call it a cookie!

Katt: Is it edible?

Elv: Yes, actually it is.

*Katt devours the cookie*

Elv: Hey, Katt, why do you always hang out with that Melkor guy? He's no fun. All he does is try to steal my cookie recipies, and mess up my creations. And what is it he always calls you? Saran..Sharon..Sadaam..er something like that?


OOC: My little brother actually called Sauron "Sadaam" once.

[Elf Girl]

OloriGirl: Manwëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëë ....

Manwë: GO AWAY!

OloriGirl: I'll defect to Mel-kor......

Manwë: Just go away...

OloriGirl: I'll become a Bal-rog......

Manwë: Please...

OloriGirl: Bye! *leaves*

Manwë: I can't believe she went just like that...

OloriGirl: *glances back at Manwë* Varda's a bit overweight, isn't she?

Manwë: Yes! I mean, NO!

Varda: Grrrrrrr...

OloriGirl: *finally goes off to create more stuff, pleased with the amount of mayhem she has created*

[Nazgûl Queen]

Morauko: WHAT did you say?

OloriGirl: Ermmmmm... nothing?

Morauko: DID YOUM CALL VARDA OVERWEIGHT?!

OloriGirl: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe...

Morauko: *leaps on her and starts to tickle her* Nobody insults MY Goddess!!!

Manwe: Technically, she's not a Goddess...

Morauko: *stops tickling and glare at him* Would you like to take her place?

Manwe: No... er.... I think I'll be fine, thanks...

Morauko: Maybe not. Ooh, I know! VAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDAAAAAA!

Manwe: Oh ****

Varda: What do you want, dearest? *said through clenched teeth and obvious annoyance*

Morauko: Would you like to know what your husband and his Maia just said?

Varda: *sly look* Husband, dearest, what is this she says?

Manwe: No, Morauko, I beg of you! Anything but that!!!

Morauko: Weeeeell...

Manwe: What do you want? I'll do anything!!!

Morauko: Actually, the sight of her attacking you is worth all the power in the world. Besides, I'm a maia aren't I? I can make them myself! *whispers to Varda*

Varda: You said WHAT?!

*Manwe and OloriGirl begin to run extremely fast, with Varda on their tails*

Morauko: Hee hee...

[Earniel]

*Back to Iluvatar and Aulë*

Aule: Well..... since your children haven't woken up yet and I wanted to teach someone to make chocolate, I decided to makes these little people. I call them dwarves. Like them?

Iluvatar: Look my boy, I have nothing against creating things. In fact that's the very reason I send you lot there. But you must realise that creating sentient life-forms is not in your jobprescribtion.

Aulë: *sighs* I guess you're right. Well then I suppose I'll just destroy them again.

*Aulë takes his hammer and plans to smite the newmade dwarf-figures. However they shrink back from the hammer and hide their heads in the sand.*

Iluvatar: Nah, let them be. I decided I like them so they get to live. After all this chocolate israther good. However I won't allow them to run around now while my children still sleep. Put them somewhere so they can take a nap for the time being.

*Aulë does as Iluvatar commanded and the dwarves are put deep underground. Yavanna on the other hand isn't so pleased when she hears the tale of Aulë.*

Yavanna: That's it! MANWEEEEEEEEH!

Manwë: *is pleased to have a distraction from Varda's bad mood* Yes, what is it now?

Yavanna: That sneaking husband of mine tells me that all this creating we're doing will eventually be there to be used by Iluvatar's children.

Manwë: Well that was the main idea. If these irritating people *coughTLAcough* won't mess it up first.

Yavanna: And what about my trees?

Manwë: Well, them too.

Yavanna: Darn.

Manwë: What would you like to have then?

Yavanna: I wager maneating trees are out of the question, right?

Manwë: Yes.

Yavanna: So can I have some walking trees that still can kick some butt? That'd be nice.

Manwë: Well... if Iluvatar doesn't veto the idea, I think walking and butt-kicking trees are acceptable.

Yavanna: Yeay! *goes off to create ents*

[Elf Girl]

Varda has caught up with OloriGirl, who is desperatly creating Valar-repellant.

Varda: Why - did - you - say - I - was - overweight?

OloriGirl: Poof! *a bottle appears in her hand* Yes! *sprays chemical-smelling stuff out of the bottle at Varda*

Varda: That smells awful. *shows no sign of moving*

OloriGirl: Crud. Oh wait, it says "Shake for 30 seconds" *shakes bottle for 30 seconds*

Varda: ANSWER MY QUESTION!

OloriGirl: Haha! *sprays shaken bottle at Varda*

Varda: ... *doesn't move*

OloriGirl: Crud! *waves Wingless Plastic Balrog Toy that goes "Squeak" at Varda*

Balrog toy: *squeak*

OloriGirl: *sigh*

[goldiegollum]

Meanwhile, The strange spirit (ME)who was late sat up in a tree making something. Manwe, sensing the strangeness and potential power of this creation, and goes to investigate.

ME: hum de dum de la la la l-
Manwe: *peeking over shoulder* Excuse me
ME: *startled* AH! oh, it's you.
Manwe: what are you doing...
ME: dunno. *proceedes with creation* la de la de la *uses fingertip to spraypaint object with pearlescent red and silver*
Manwe: *interested* do you mind if i...
ME: not at all.
Manwe: Just to keep an eye on you... that is *takes seet on oposite branch and watches with child like enthralment as ME spraypaints the object*
ME: Ta da!
Manwe: *practical*No.
ME: *protective* Yes!
Manwe: *forbidding* NO!
ME: *rebelious* Yes!
Manwe: *pleading* NOOO!
ME: *triumphant* YES! IT'S THE SQUEAKIE *holds it up to sky and squeaks it by clamping and unclamping it. An adictive powerful sound begins* *squeaka-squeaka-squeaka*
*puts the small dragonfly clip in hair and hops down from tree, scampering off*
Manwe: *blinks* that was weird *shakes head* Oh well

[Renille]

OOC-So, as I understand it, all of us have basically attached ourselves to a Vala and are following them around through at least this part of the book? Kinda? Sounds good. :p

*Having recovered from the trauma of losing her liscence, Ren has begun to do what she does best. Order poor innocent people around and ask them long, annoying questions. Poor,dear Nienna*

Ren- AHEM. Mr. Narrator sir, please. STOP. NOW.

*Like I said...poor innocent people.*

Ren-Shut up. Anyway, Nienna.Why do you cry so much? It's a very gloomy habit.

Nienna- Oh dear, I just cry to heal the world, that's all.

Ren- But don't you ever need Kleenex?

Nienna- *sniff* What?

Ren- SEEE...you DO need Kleenex! Here...*tries to dig in her purse, only to discover...she left it back at the counselor's office.*

Nienna- By the way...what is Kleenex?

Ren- It's a piece of nice soft paper that you use to blow your nose with. And I don't have any...hmm...why don't I create some? Better yet...why don't I just make this whole island made of KLEENEX!?

Nienna- I think I like it the way it...

Ren- Nonsense. You'll like it much better like... THIS!

*And as she spoke, Nienna's entire island was covered in those very soft pieces of paper in every imaginable pastel cover. It looked like every cough-prone peoples' purses had exploded and deposited themselves on every available piece of land.*

Nienna- Oh my. Well. Thank you. *picks one up and dabs her eyes.* You know, these MAY be helpful...but where do I put the used ones?

Ren-Umm...Umm...in a trashcan. Here. *She creates the GIANTEST trashcan ever. And she left Nienna in search for a less demanding Vala.*

Nienna- Oh my.

OOC- Yep...I know Nienna doesn't get this much credit and attention in the book. But she is my favorite...and she did cry alot...and she DID have an island...the temptations were overwhelming.:p

[Elf Girl]

OOC: Yeah, until we get kicked off (coincidentally, at the same time the Noldor leave) and sent to ME.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Hey, thanks for keeping me in here Elvellyn.

Katt: It's Sauron! But I don't think it's long enough. Oh well, I'll change it later. *sulk sulk* The Valar hate me.

Elvellyn: I thought you were a Valar.

Katt: Oh I don't know. I just showed up. All the "real" Valar talk through clenched teeth to me. "You know that flower really would be great if you tried harder." "Try not to make too many salmon." "Will you please stop your bird from ripping out my intestines?" I'm sick of it!

Elvellyn: Well that's no reason to hang out with Melkor.

Katt: Oh yes it is. He treats me like the stupid underling with some potential that I really am. He says I am really high in his favour and I might make something of myself with him someday. Plus he has great taste in music.

Elvellyn: *A little out-weirded* Yeah. Well, if you want to create things, come hang out with me anytime.

Katt: That's nice of you. I would now, but I gotta go to a jammin' session with Melkor. Catch ya later.

[Willow Oran]

*Meanwhile Willow has been wandering aimlessly around trying to get support for her 'Evict Melkor from Arda' petition*

Willow: *sees Orome and goes over to him* Hey, will sign this for me?

Orome: Why?

Willow: Because, Melkor's been driving me crazy, he keeps coming and screwing around with whatever I try to make!

*Yavanna joins them*

Yavanna: I know! I was trying to create some flowers that would help keep the bug population down, you know for balance. And just when I had it perfect he came along and made them gigantic and vicious! Poor Nienna's an absolute mess, she's really attatched to all these new creations and the havoc he's creating has her sobbing her eyes out the poor dear.

*Just then Human comes running up with... something in her arms, Earniel is not far behind her*

Willow: What happened?

Human: *fuming* Earniel and I were making new creatures for the rivers and stuff, cause Ulmo told us to and we were working on the beavers and ducks and such and along comes Melkor and combines two of them!

Earniel: It's so wasteful! What are we supposed to do with this? It's a combination of our ducks and beavers, and he made 42 of the blasted things! We'll be the laughingstock of the Ainur if anyone finds out about these.

Yavanna: Actually, I think it's sort of cute... What are you calling it?

Human: Who cares? We'll just put them really far to the south, maybe then no one will notice them...

*suddenly there is a loud boom and ear destroying rock music blast through the air around them, by now most of the Valar and the TLA are gathered, drawn by the weird creatures.*

Manwe: That's it! I've had it up to here with my brother's insolence! I'm going to call Eru and ask him to send down someone to kick Melkor out.

All: Yeah!!

[Tanoliel]

Earniel: What is that awful NOISE?
Tano: I think it´s music....*begins to dance a little* It´s not too bad. Got a good beat.
Earniel: Um...it´s Melkor´s music.
Tano: Yeah. It´s still not too bad...*dances off to create more strange things*

occ: Katt, can I be in a bit on the evilness here? Not tons, only sometimes I feel like being a bit wicked in my own twisted way...:)

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Of course Tano! I would never keep the monopoly on evilness! Evil was meant to be spread around. ;)

[Christiana]

hehe.where's the echidna?(sp)

[goldiegollum]

Meanwhile, ME runs around in increacingly large circles through a happy-meadow-type-place with scent of happy smelling flowers drifting happily through the air. ME has been doing this for the past hour, with a frightening smile spread across her face and a manic gleam in her eyes. In her hand is the squeaky, a pearlescend red and silver dragonfly clip. She clamps and unclamps it rapidly next to her ear.

*squeaka-squeaka-squeaka*

the squeak is dangerously adictive, and scarilly happy.

THen in happened.

On her 450th circle, ME colided with Human, who was pacing with the tips of her fingers tapping together, grinning in an evil conspirator sort of way (though in truth she was merely wondering when coconuts would be invented)

Human: Gnah!

ME: Eh?

Human: *crouches in ninja-like pose* GNIGH!

ME: Errrr...

*SQueaka-squeaka-squeaka*

Human: MINE!!!!!!!

ME: What?!?!

Human: MINE!!!!!!! the squeaky!!!!!!! I STEAL THE SQUEAKY !!!!!!!*pounces on ME before either of them knows why*

thus began the war of the war of the squeaky.

[Earniel]

*Meanwhile the others hear the sounds of battle between human and goldiegollum*

Eärniel: What's that?

Tano: Sounds like fighting.

Willow: Do you think it's Melkor again?

Manwë: *jumps up* That's it! I've had it! This time Melkor has gone too far! You can't even sit in peace anymore without fights erupting around you. It's all Melkor's fault!

Melkor: *from out of the bushes* But I haven't done anything! It's not me!

Eärniel: Sure, that's what you always say! You didn't give my frog bulgy eyes then?

Melkor: I might have but...

Aulë: And what about my mountains? You didn't try to level them to the ground then?

Melkor: Maybe but...

Renille: And wasn't it you who stole my shiny new license?

Melkor: Yes but...

Nienna: The license! *starts to sob*

Yavanna: Oh great! Look what you did Melkor, you made Nienna cry.

Melkor: *starting to worry* I did? But... but... I...

Manwë: We have had it, Melkor. The Elves are going to wake any day now. And we can't take the risk of you spoiling them. The TLA is already worse enough as it is.

TLA: Hey!

Manwë: Er... I mean... *pulls him to his full height* Melkor, this means war!

Varda: *sighs happily* Oh Manwë you look so... impressive. I never knew you had it in you.

*Manwë looks smug*

Melkor: Oh yeah? You'll be sorry! I'll crush you like... like... *sees that he's a trifle outnumbered* Er... I'll get back on you on that. *runs away to his fortress*

Manwë: *dramatically* After him!

*The Valar and the TLA take up their weapons and prepare to follow Melkor to fight him. As they are packing up Human and Goldiegollum roll into the camp, still fighting for the squeaky.*

Elvellyn: Knock it off you guys, we're going to attack Melkor. Pack your things.

GG: We are? Okay. *grabs the squeaky and runs off*

Human: Dang.

*The Valar and the TLA lay siege around Melkor's fortress.*

[Christiana]

Cheyanne:well, if we are laying seige to his fortress, then we are in for a long wait.
Christiana:Earniel, dor you have any mirovour?
Earniel:its for medicinal purposes only:D

[Claenoic]

Claevire gets her Pointy Knitting Needles of Destruction out and joins the throng.

Tano: Err...

Claevire: *Raises eyebrow imperiously* Yes???

Tano: *Forgets temporarily that Claenoic is a Vala* Isn't weaving done with a loom?

Claevire: Y'know, you're right!!

Tano: Really?

Claevire: Yep. Soo... *She sticks the Needles in her belt in case of an emergency, and digs out... THE CARDING BRUSHES OF UNNATURAL SPELLING ERRORS!!!!*

OOC: And so my weapons are born...

[Nazgûl Queen]

*A great time passed, and the TLA and the Maia and the Valar were happy in the land of the light of the chocolate trees, while Melkor had control over arda where none of the valar went... except for those who couldn't stand the TLA any longer and went there for some peace and quiet.

Now, it came to pass that the TLA got bored with their creations... which took about 2 days, knowing their attention spans... and took to bugging the Valar with a new ferocity, asking for knowledge of underwear and other such unmentionable things.

Eventually Varda had had enough, and she decided to do something that (she hoped) would get the TLAers off their backs once and for all... or Morauko, at least, who had been bugging her to do somwthing ever since the creation of Ea.

So it was that she decided to give Morauko a task to get rid of her...*

Varda: Hey... ummmm... Morauko, isn't it?

Morauko: yes, mistress?

Varda: We Valar have been talking, and we thought it would be a good idea... erm... *she pondered how to say this nicely* a good idea for you TLAers to make the world ready for the coming of the children of illuvatar.

Morauko: Of course! Anything you say, mistress!

Varda: So, all you have to do is take your TLA ers far, far away from us and make some light. Here, have some magic star-dust that i made from the pure white chocolate of telperion.

*Morauko took the TLA with her to Arda, where she threw the star-dust into the sky and it grew into thousands of shining stars. After all, we all know that the stars are made of the purest chocolate, which is why the elves love them so much. And then she and the TLA started to have fun and make pictures out of the stars*

Tano: ooh, i made a butterfly!

Earniel: I made a person!

Willow: i made... a sickle?

*And with the stars shining brightly in the sky, the Elves awoke near the waters where the TLA were playing with stardust and watched in awe. And they named the TLA the Tintalle, the kindlers, and Morauko was called Elentari, the Queen of the Stars...*

Elentarauko: ooh, i like that!

Varda: HEY! That's MY name!

*As i was saying... Morauko was named Elentari, and her mistress who gave the stardust was named Elbereth Gilthoniel and ever worshipped her above all the Valar...*

Varda: That's better!

Elentarouko: *mutters*

*ALONG with her trusted and most loved servant. happy now?*

Elentarouko: Yes, i'm happy *smiles lovingly at Varda*

Varda: Yes, yes... *backs away from Elentarouko*

*Hearing of this, Orome rode his stallion towards Cuivienen in order to prevent the elves from being corrupted by the TLAers, but it was too late. the love of chocolate was already in their veins, and all he could do was hope to protect them in the safety of Valinor while leaving the TLA far, far away...*

[Willow Oran]

*It was at this point in the story that the TLA rmembered why they had come in the first place.*

Tano: You mean there was a reason?

*Yes, remember? Teaching, curse breaking, getting weird time machine gadgets and their owners back where they belong? Any of that ring a bell?*

Morauko: Oh... right, we were going to do that stuff.

Willow: In that case... Oh Orome! Care for some company?

Earniel: We promise we'll be good!

*And so it was that the TLA and went with Orome to greet the new come elves. And the elves being shy of these new creatures fled at first but then returned and regarded these beings with wary curiosity much to the chargrin of a certain faerie who was trying to break the aforementioned curse using the counselor's suggested, but yet un-tried, method. Also among the elves the TLA were reunited with Miriam, who they had somehow misplaced and had been sleeping with the unwoken firstborn this entire time.*

[Finrod Felagund]

OOC: So i guess ill bve born soon!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

*After the recent attack on her master, and seeing that the elves had arrived, Katt started off to hide as a (sigh) elf. She cheered up a bit when she told herself that all elves had blond hair and she was gonna have to hide as something else. Then she sighed after recalling a painfull memory of being forced to attend an elfish liniage and genetics class depicting the travle of the blond and brown haired geans down through the ages.*

Katt: Thank you for that facinating history. I am gratified to know that I will get back at you in the future.

*What's that supposed to mean?*

Katt: Nothing. I am also glad to know that the narrator's style improves in three ages.

*You are asking for something bad to happen in your general vicinity.*

Katt: *Rolls eyes* All right. I'm an elf now.

*Good*

Katt: And the narrator was so annoyed at Katt that he compleatly forgot that Katt wasn't an elf and any of the TLA could have recognized her.

[Earniel]

*The Valar take advantage of the absence of the TLA to dig out Melkor on Manwë's order.*

Manwë: *tries to look impressive* That's right.

*They drag the fallen Vala out of his hiding hole.*

Manwë:*beams proudly* Yes, we did.

*They tie up the defeated Melkor using Varda's tied together underwear.*

Manwë: That's ri- eh?

Varda: WHAT?!

Aulë:*apologetic* Um... it's the only thing we found so soon...

Varda: Weren't YOU supposed to make an incredibly strong chain of METAL to tie him?

Aulë: I was going to... but I got distracted... *hastily fumbles away a bar of chocolate*

Yavanna: *looking equally apologetic* We had to improvise...

Varda: But not with MY underwear!

Manwë: *sooting* Easy honey, it's strong enough so it'll have to do. At least the TLA aren't here to make fun of it and ask silly questions about it.

Melkor: Jolly good idea, I'll go and tell them.

Varda: No you won't! This secret remains between us. We'll throw you into the Depths of Mandos' Hall, that way you won't be able to tell them.

Mandos: *mutters* Yeah, right make it MY problem why don't ya?

Melkor:*as he's dragged to prison* Not fair! Now we see the violence inherent in the system!

*Thus it was done and Melkor was locked away for a long time until someone was foolish enough to create the legal probation system. *

*In the meanwhile at the lake of Cuivienen where the elves awoke. *

Eärniel: hey, Miriam! Long time no see!

Miriam: Hmpf... that's what you get when you forget me. What did I miss?

Willow: Oh nothing much, just some minor creations...

Eärniel: I made frogs! *shows one proudly to Miriam*

Miriam: *backs away* Ugh, it's got bulgy eyes!

Eärniel: Humpf....

Tano: Sooo did anyone see any strange gadgets?

[Christiana]

Christa:Yeh!I found this!

Earniel:What is it?

C:Its a watchamacalit!

*sure enough, it was on of those Watchamacallits, and a neat one too. It had a scissors, three kinds of knife, a screwdriver, a tweezers, a toothpick, and a speciallized mirovour bottle opener, all in a little red thing the size of two fingers*

OOC:she found a swiss army knife!

[Elf Girl]

OloriGirl: Do counselers wear underwear?

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: What do you think? *wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more*

OOC2: I couldn't resist! :D

[Finrod Felagund]

OOC; AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! POST!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad: I'm not even born yet...:(

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

*So all the little elves are hopping around like little slimy creatu-- well, like frogs.*

Illuvitar: Narrator! My children are not to be abused in such a manner. Re-write that at once!

*Ok. So all the elves rose up gracefully with their hair billowing behind them, and promptly fell over because they had never used their legs before.*

Illuvitar: I'm warnin' yew...

*OK! I got it. So all the elves rose up gracefully with their hair billowing behind them. They blinked their eyes and headed twards the TLA. All except one.*

Katt: My hair is tied in a knot.

Tano: Katt?

Katt: Um, no, uh, my name is Nuquernagrothiel. Yeah. Sure. Call me Nuqu. (Pronounced Nu-coo) *Runs off*

Random Elf: Greetings to you.

[Tanoliel]

Originally posted by Finrod Felagund
OOC; AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! POST!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad: I'm not even born yet...:(

ooc: Just because you're not born doesn't mean you can't post in narration. Just try to keep the story in the flow. Also please make posts like this in the discussion thread (I ought to slap myself for replying here but I figured you'd see it).

tano

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Yay! I got a copy of the Sil and now I can finally contribute! So, um, where are we?

[Christiana]

elves have just awoke

[Willow Oran]

*Meanwhile, the TLA members, fearing for the safety of the elves, (and wanting to be near them) dedided to invite them all to the west.*

Willow: (to a random elf) Come on, surely you want to come. There are beaches and mountains and all sorts of preety thing to play with.

Elf: Neh?

Willow: And trees, lots of trees pretty ones that glow in the dark!

Elf: Glow...?

*and so on and so on...*

OOC: Wake up! This thread is dieing!!!!!! Start posting again or I'll pull one of my evil time jump posts! You know I will... *brandishes notebook threateningly* POST! I command thee!:D

[Renille]

OOC-Have no fear, Willow! TLA will be strong forever! Yep, Iamback. The evil real-life demon has attacked once more. Darn. Sorry.

BIC-

Ren- You see,dear elves. This beautiful wonderful world has been made just for you. You must use it well. Let us show you.

Earniel- You see, for example, this is a frog. And THIS is chocolate.

Elves-Chocolate? Frogs? Chocolate...frogs...? OH! CHOCOLATE FROGS! YAY!


Willow- Yes! We have those in the west! Many chocolate frogs! Follow us!

Elves- YAY!

*And the elves followed the TLA over to the west.*

Tano *to Willow* You are such a liar. Such a great liar. Thank you.

Willow- Hehe, no problem.

*of course, the entire company arrives finding NO chocolate frogs. The poor elves were dissilusioned from the start.*

Christiana- I NOTICE no asked for YOUR opinion!

[Finrod Felagund]

Narrator: Three ambassadors were chosen, Ingwe for the Vanyar, Finwe for the Noldor and Elwe for the Teleri. And the TLA took them and showed them the two trees and they were amazed.

And they returned. And then all the elves went. First the Vanyar, then the Noldor and then most ofthe Teleri, but lots of groups of Teleri stopped on the way, because...ummm...I don't remember, but eventually all the elves were in Valinor. No chocolate frogs, but they liked the glowing trees. The Teleri dwelt by the sea with Elwe's bro Olwe, because Elwe disapeared in the woods of ME, The Vanayar and Noldor dwelt in a pretty white city, but the the vanyar moved to Valimar with the Manwe and Varda. And so lots of elves were born. Including one called...*drumroll* FEANOR! *cymbal crash*
-pant pant pant-

[goldiegollum]

OCC: i'm going back in time for a moment, on the boat over to the west...

Me sits picking at a splinter on the deck, human sits muttering to herself nearby.

*Me crawls stealthily up to the crows nest where Tano keeps a look out (or so she says, though that's probably just an excuse for being up there)*

Me: Pst, tano?

Tano: Yes?

Me: can i have my squeaky back?

Tano: *despairingly* I would, like i told you before, if only you and Human wouldn't sink the ship with all your fignting over it.

Me: but...but...I WANNIT BACK!

Human: *zips up into crows nest and strikes an (off balanced) dramatic pose* Don't give it to her; she's a lier and a traitor! Give it to me, the true and rightful owner-

*crows nest sways akwardly with all the people up there, the three lose balance and fall in a disoriented pile*

Human: What a disoriented pile we find ourselves in!

Me: eh?

Tano: You're sitting on my foot!

Human: No i'm not! *stands up*

Tano: yes you were, look behiend you.

*picks up a rather strange looking foot, with large toes suitable for climbing, slight webbing*

Human: Woh!

Tano: *proudly* I made it.

Me: It's so happy!

HUman: let's make a body for it, a wierd one! let's make another creature!

Tano: isn't that against the rules? I mean, isn't the creation part done?

Human: of corse it's against the rules! Since when do you follow them?

Tano: good question. Ok i'm in.

Me: *worried* i wanna help but... it's against the rules...?

Tano: *pats her on head* no, it's not against the rules.

Me: *smiling quickly* Oh, ok.

*an hour later, anothr creature is in the crows nest with them. It is...GOLLUM!*

Human: And it shal be covered in... SLIME! *slime appears*

Tano: Wow, spiffy!

Me: It's so...happy!

Willow: creating more creatures? breaking rules? *twisted smile* sounds like fun- *sees creature* Ugh! what is that?

Tano: it's a... um.... it's a.. well it was going to be a short creature with hair on it's feet but umm..

Me: it got a little happy.

Willow: Happy?

Gollum: GOllum.

Human: Mwahahaha! It's a GOLLUM!

WIllow: *snaps fingers, creature disapears*

Tano: Hey! *grumbles* party pooper.

Me: *sniff* it was so...so... Beautiful! *bursts into tears*

Human: what is the meaning of this?! stand aside whimpy fairy!

Willow: Whimpy fairy? I'll have to get you back for that. In the mean time, about your creature... i simply couldn't stand the stench of it for the rest of the trip. Anyhow, now that you've made it there's no unmaking it, i simply sent it to the future. *pats Me on the head* so it's not gone, it just won't come into existance until thousands of years later... probably evolving from the origional thing you tried to-

Me: YAY! wait- a thousand years? poops. *begins to cry again*

Willow: *uncomfortably* umm....how about i give you a name to make it up, after all ME does stand for middle earth, and you can't simply call yourself that forever... I'll call you goldiegollum, gold for the goldish tinged curls that are errr... *eyes her disarayed hair* popping out of your head and gollum in rememberance of your creature...

Me: *puts on a brave face* Yes. I will live on in rememberance of him forever.

Human: *pokes Tano* pst, can I have the squeaky?

Tano: NO! *throws them all out of crows nest* much better.

OCC: Sry if that's a little wierd but... It makes me happy!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: That was weird.
OOC: Did you know I'm supposed to be hiding in a pit under Angband? Bleah!

[Christiana]

*GG and Human fall on top of Christa*
C:Hey!Watch it!
GG:I just wanted my squeaky!
C:cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it.

[Willow Oran]

*Ahem! To return from that brief flashback... I believe we were getting to the important bits.*

Willow: Finally, get on with it narrator.

*Right anyhow, Finwe, king of the noldor had taken-

Eru: Pardon my interruption but it has come to my attention that the current method of telling the story is not being particularily effective. I have decided that if you people of the TLA are to interact and take part in my world you will have to play by my rules. You will all be scattered and placed into exsisting roles that you must play in order to successfully complete the story, should you fail you shall be stuck in Middle Earth forever as slaves of the CANON Melkor. Do not fail.

(And with these words there was a great wrench in the fabric of reality and each of the TLA found themselves suddenly alone with no notion of where the others were and with the knowledge that the game just got a lot more complicated, and serious.)

*And it came to pass the Finwe, King of the noldor took to wife a maiden known as Miriam, who was wise in the ways of embroidery and counselling...*

OOC: I apologize for that rather confusing switch, for furthur explanation of what just happened see the discussion thread.

[goldiegollum]

OCC: Eh? I'm kinda confused but couldn't find the discussion thread so oh well.

*in the middle of climbing a tree in valinor, GG is suddenly picked up by the wierd wrench in the fabric of reality along with all the others and finds herself in a quite different tree... somewhere*

GG: I'm all alone... sad day.


...


GG: I want my squeaky.

[Claenoic]

Miriam: What? What the... eh?

Finwe: Are you awake, my sweet?

Miriam: ACK! Who the heck are you?

Finwe: *is puzzled* Why, I am Finwe, King of the Noldor. My dear Mirindis, do you feel well?

Miriam:... Help... Another hallucination.

OOC: Dibs on Maedhros. Gonna get my hand cut off. WHEEEEE!!! ^_^ Bodily HARM!!

[Christiana]

Dibs on Fingolfin

[Earniel]

*Eärniel suddenly found herself on a shore littered with jewels. The sea hit the shore a few meters away from her. White glittering towers could be seen rising from behind the dunes

Eärniel: Oh. *silence* This wasn't where I was 5 minutes ago.

Eru: Brilliant conclusion.

Eärniel: *jumps up startled* Aaah! Don't do that! I just don't get used to talking to booming invisible voices.

Eru: You don't seem to mind the narrator.

Eärniel: That's because he sounds like someone high on helium. And I ignore him for the better part of his existance.

*I'll remember that*

Eru: Now be silent and listen. I couldn't find a role for you that you wouldn't immediatly screw up- er- I mean of course that would suit your *cough* ..unique qualities. So I made you an extra.

Eärniel: An extra? Hopefully you don't mean the extra sort of character that gets killed off in the first battle!

Eru: Of course not. You've seen way too much Star Trek than is good for you, young lady. Expendable ensigns belong to a different continuum.

Eärniel: *understands barely what Eru is rambling on about* Oh.

Eru: Now be a good extra sea elf, run along, go build some boaties and don't bother me again.

*Eru leaves to see if the other TLA'ers got in the right places*

Eärniel: Okay, this is... interesting.... I suppose. Now what?

*Howabout you go to Alqualondë that's right behind the hill?*

Eärniel: Hey, who died and left you in charge?

*I am a narrator, you are a character. Hence I can decide where you go.

Eärniel: lay off the emphasis already. I'll go but only because I want to.

*Whatever*

[Nazgûl Queen]

*Meanwhile, Elwe had been wandering in the forests of middleearth and encounted a beautiful maia*

Elwe: Wow. She's beautiful.

*50 years later*

Elwe: Ummmmm... hi?

Melian: *startled* Errrrrr... hi.

*hours pass*

Elwe: Would you... would you like to go for a walk through the woods with me? I know of a beautiful crystal pool...

Melian: Yes, i created that.

Elwe: And there are these wonderful flying creatures whose song is the most beautiful I have ever heard, enchanting the heart...

Melian: They are my children, the birds...

Elwe: Oh... well, I found the most beautiful garden of rainbow things...

Melian: They're called flowers. Do you like them?

Elwe: They're the most beautiful things I've ever seen... except for you.

Melian: *shyly* Do you... think I'm beautiful?

Elwe: The most beautiful thing in middleearth!

Melian: *sniffles* The other maia said i was fat...

Elwe: No, you could never be fat. You're perfect!

*Actually, she had been fat from sitting around in the gardens of Valinor too much, but her time in middleearth had made her exercise more and care for her appearance, becoming much prettier.*

Elwe&Melian: WE DIDN'T ASK YOU!!!

*sorry*

Elwe: Is there anywhere you haven't been?

Melian: I've never seen the sea...

Elwe: Would you like to come there with me? I have my own little boat, and I can take you exploring the beaches...

Melian: *shyly* I'd like that.

*She held out her hand and Elwe took it, leading her through the forest towards the sea. And thus, the romance of a century began...*

Morauko: *currently a formless cloud of 'soul' floating around through middleearth, watching her soon-to-be parents* Technically, there weren't any other notable romances that century.

*Who's telling the story here? Besides, your only chance of gaining a physical form lies in these two lovebirds. So be quiet.*

Morauko: Fine... *floats off towards the sea*

[Claenoic]

*Claevire, in the same situation as Morauko (that is, meta-physical and watching her future grandparents), wrinkles her nose.*

Claevire: Ok, I'm confused. Can I still be Vaire? And if so, can I still be Maedhros? And if so, then who on Middle-Earth chose MIRIAM to be my grandmother?

*... Yes, yes, and it's your fault you chose Maedhros.*

Claevire: Lotsa help you are.

OOC: EEEE!!! Contacts!! ^_^ Am very happy. I have a blasted headache, but they're IN!!! ^______^

[Willow Oran]

*Meanwhile and unexpected thing has occurred. Maggie, being unable to use her own body and unable to decide which character to possess has been reduced to a formless cloud of sparkly urple stuff. She has become an essence and being by nature completely neutral she has become the essence of Everything.*

Maggie: Oh not again, this is going to make my job really difficult you know this?

*It's not my fault you're to indecisive to become anything other than everything, anyway you're the one who started this part of thee story, it's you're own fault you've become a cloud of sparkly urple stuff.*

Maggie: Why you... as soon as I get my body back I'll...

*You'll what? Remember, you won't have your body back for another age and a half at least.*

Maggie: (glowers for a moment) Stupid narrator. Fine then, but I'm not staying like this.

*Then choose a form*

Maggie: Fine! I will! (And with that she flounces off to do just that.)

[Finrod Felagund]

OOC: i call Finarfin AND Finrod! If that ok?

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

*Sauronkatt had spent this time hiding under Angband and reading the script again.*

Katt: Oh no, not the Essence of everything! Haven't we done this in the last TLA?

[Earniel]

*Meanwhile in Alqualondë; Eärniel has been brought before Olwë, the Teleri king.*

Olwë: So... you wish to be a Sea Elf?

Eärniel: Well, technically I am already a Sea Elf but the booming invisible voice dumped me here and I thought...

Olwë: *raises eyebrow* The ... booming invisible voice?

Eärniel: I believe you refer to him as Iluvatar?

Olwë: Ah.

Eärniel: Anyway he dumped me here, so I thought there's probably a very good reason why he dumped me here. I mean, obviously he didn't put me here because he didn't know what to do with me. Okay, so actually he said he did. But I bet he was just pulling my leg. I'm sure he loves a good joke at times.... I'm babbling, ain't I?

Olwë: Sort of. How about you get to the point?

Eärniel: Oh, yes. So until I figure out what part I'll be playing in the Sillymarillion, I thought it was a good idea to integrate myself in the Teleri culture.

Olwë: I see. In that case you're welcome in Alqualondë, Eärniel.

Eärniel: Thanks. So what do you Teleri do the whole day?

Olwë: Basicly we sing a lot and build swanboats. As a Sea Elf I'm sure you share our skill and love for making music.

Eärniel: *getting slightly uneasy* Er.. love for music, yes. Sort of. Skill? Ermmm....... *thinks: Perhaps this wasn't such a great idea at all...*

*I agree. Shall I fetch my earplugs?*

[Elf Girl]

Meanwhile:

OloriGirl: Ho hum.

Eru: *invisable booming voice* What the @#$% are you doing in Middle Earth?!

OloriGirl: *disappears* Wha?! *reappears in Valinor* Ah.

Manwë: *sees her* Gaah! I thought you were gone for gooooood.... *breaks down crying.

OloriGirl: There, there, my lord. I thought I was too.

Manwë: *sob*

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Look, if all you random elves out there arn't going to start building things, then all you random Valar out there are gonna have to unchain Melkor so we can have some conflict!

*And it came to pass that the elves remaining in Middle Earth built great cities on the shores of the ocean. The Noldor mourned for their lost brothers left at Middle Earth until Ulmo harkened to their prayers and went to bring the Teleri to Valinor. Ulmo was ill-pleased that the voices of the Teleri would be hear no more by his sea, and pursuaded many of them to stay.*

*The Teleri were born accross the sea where they rejoined their brothers, the Noldor. And Illuvitar did grin, and the elves feasted on the grain, and fruit, and vegitables, and elk, and deer, and orangutangs, and fruitbats, and breakfast cererals, and--*

Illuvitar: They get the picture.

*Oh, sorry. Yes lord. And there was much rejoicing.*

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Or something to that effect.

[Earniel]

*Since we know that this gets read by children, we will spare you Eärniel's singing. Some things can scar a child (not to mention a narrator) for life.*

Eärniel: Hey!

*So we'll skip to the part after Olwë has been revived from his catatonia and most of the fled Elves return to Alqualondë once the hideous noice died down.*

Eärniel: Fne.

Olwë: *still pale and shaky* That... that's quite enough.... I suppose... Why don't you go to the harbour? If your skill doesn't lie in singing...

*Darn right*

Olwë:*continuing hopefully* ... maybe you're better in shipbuilding.

*A few days later*

Eärniel: *proudly* You like it?

Olwë: *unsure* It's... novel....

Eärniel: Pretty, no?

Olwë: I must confess I got used to the swanboats but a... frogboat is something... different.

[Finrod Felagund]

*So Finwe had taken Miriam as his wife. But Iluvatar realized if she was to see the history, she could not be Miriel. Therefore Iluvatar used one of the flashy thingies from MIB and modified both their memories and gave Finwe the real Miriel.*

Finwe: Hey! She's hot............nice boobs!
Miriel: *slaps him*

*Before long they were married!*

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

And soon Miriel gave birth to a son, though his fiery spirit consumed her so much that she afterward decided she liked sleeping a lot, and forgot everything else.

(Interlude: a scene between Miriel and Finwe: *poke, poke* Um, Miriel? Wake up?
Miriel: *sleepy*
Finwe: Miriel, we have a son. Come take care of him.
Miriel: *sleepy*
Finwe: *shrug*)

And this son was called Feanor. (ooc: Okay, guys, haven't had time to read through the whole thread yet, so I'm going to assume Feanor is not yet taken. If he is you can yell at me and then I'll sulk because I wanted to be him ;) But if he is, I have my own char. I'm throwing in to complicate things in a very TLA fashion. Um. Heh. Oh, and Claeonic, you're Maedhros? I hope you don't mind an elf-chick from Alqualonde falling all over you...:D)

But Feanor was very strange. For not only was he incredibly smart--a true genius--and a very fiery spirit, he had this strange tendency to turn into a girl, Feanoriel, on the full moon. We don't ask. Especially the bit about the full moon, as the moon is not yet in existance. Oh well. But he does. Feanoriel. There will be a reason for this somewhere...I think...um...:)

[Tanoliel]

Meanwhile, Among the Noldorian elves, Tanoliel was busy making weapons.

Tano: *humming* Da da DA...aha. One hundred and twenty four longswords. Niiiice. I like this one. Maybe I'll keep it.

Elf (also weaponsmaker): That's what you said about the last hundred and twenty things you've made.

Tano: Fne. All right then. *Hands it over* But now I've got to make a really good something...all for myself.

*A little selfish, are well?*

Tano: So what? I've given my skill to these elves for the making of over a hundred weapons--in less than two weeks, I'll have you know--and I don't get anything to compensate? Geez! Where's the Equal Employment Act around here? Fair pay? Minimum wage? Apparently it's zero!

*Um...okay, okay....calm down....*

Tano: I'm perfectly calm. *smiles..er...nicely. Yeah.* I'll just be getting back to work now...*chooses the best of the metal waiting*

Elf: Um? *edges away from apparently insane weaponsmaker* I might have to tell someone about this...

ooc: How do we want unrest? I mean, I could sure start it here, but it would be pretty petty...does anyone else wanna be a random elf and help me out?

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Heh, heh... want some unrest do ya.... *grins the evil grin of doom* one unrestful elven nation coming right up.

*And it came to pass that Melkor dissapeared from the story altogether, he was deemed too silly for the job and replaced with an evil more deadly, more cruel and more attracted to bright shiny objects than the minds of men can possibly imagine, and her name was... Ulrica! Wait... Ulrica?*

Willow: It works. It's no worse than Melkor.

*Whatever, anyway, evil lady came and started causing unrest, lots of unrest. And she taught them how to make shiny things and Feanor made the shiniest things of all and they were called....

Willow: (intterupts with a drumroll)

*the Sillymarils*

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

And then Feanor (who we now all know some incarnation of EG...oh well *grin*...) looked at these Sillymarils, which were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and decided he wanted to be horribly possesive and not let anyone else touch them. Because they were sooo pretty, all full of light, and for some strange reason, just looking upon them put one in the same sort of feeling as having just consumed some really goood chocolate, and had alos the effect of making one laugh. So he wouldn't let anyone else have them, just him, though he let his sons touch them occasionally. (And daughters, actually. Because I'm making the twins female. So there. Hmph. :D)

Meanwhile, a young Noldorin elf maiden (well not all that young really) met a Teleri shipwright, and they fell in love and got married and all that, and had a daughter, whom they called Suliel Morlin, "wind's child dark bird." She would later be known as Eruviel Greenleaf, Captain of the Nal, but that would be quite a long time from now. And is an entirely different story anyway. :)

[Finrod Felagund]

*In the time that this happened, Finwe remarried, Indis of the Vanyar*


Finwe: Blondes really are more fun...heheheheheh
Indis: *Ditzy laugh*


*And she gave birth to two sons. Fingolfin and Finarfin. Fingolfin was lke his father. And Finarfin carried the golden hair of his mother's-


Finrod Felagund: Shut up so I can be born!

*Ahem...Finarfin had golden hair like his mother's people.-sticks tongue out at FF-So soon Feanor and Fingolfin and Finarfin were married.

Feanor: *looks disturbed*

*They were married to three women!*

Fingolfin: *looks disturbed*

*ONE WOMAN EACH!*

Finarfin: Ohhh...I get it *smiles*

*And Fingolfin and Finarfin's mother, Indis, simply disappeared from the face of Middle-Earth. No one knows why.*

Finwe: *cries*

Fingolfin: *cries*

Finarfin: *cries*

Feanor: *Makes the palantiri*







OOC: Maybe we could leave Melkor in and have Ulrica be his wife and she's like the control freak wife. You know, Melkor is the whipped husband?

[Tanoliel]

ooc: I kind of like that whipped hubby.
But wasn't Katt going to be Melkor?
ic:

Tano: This is ridiculous! Here I am, the best weapons maker in all the elven nation--or something--and then this ditz Ulrica whatsit comes along and thinks she can usurp my spot? Well, I don't think so. Harumph. *takes new longsword* This thing needs a good name...but first it needs some blood. *laughs evilly, and heads off to find Ulrica*

ooc: Er. Sorry, Maggie. :D

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: No. Actually, my aunt is Melkor. But to save her dignaty, I approve of this name.

[Claenoic]

OOC: Who's doing Ungoliant? Or will.... ok, I'm officially confused. Did Ulrica ursup Melkor, or... O.o Explain. :(

[Earniel]

OOC: Use the discussion thread for this, people. :)

Eärniel:*after making several more frogboats* We've got quite an impressive fleet now.

Olwë: So many! I think you got carried away a bit....we don't even have enough crew to man them all. Who would need so many boats?

Eärniel: *shifty look* Oh, I'm sure someone will find a use for them....

Olwë: I'm still not sure whether they weren't all supposed to be swanboats.....

Eärniel: Variety keeps the straight jacket away. Or so I heard somewhere.

Olwë: Straight jacket? Oh, don't bother explaining. *Olwë began to understand Eärniel a little* I have this nagging feeling I don't really want to know.

Eru: EARNIEL!

Eärniel: Aaaiiih! You're using the Invisible Booming Voice again! Don't do that!

Eru: *normal again* Sorry I forgot to turn it off. Now did I say anything about messing with the icons of the Teleri culture, young lady?

Eärniel:*defensive* Frogs ARE water creatures. Teleri ARE water elves.

Olwë: SEA elves.

Eärniel: That's the same thing!

Eru: *sighs* Next time I'll make you a flouncing cloud of sparkly urple stuff. In the mean time DON'T make any more boats!

Eärniel: Fne....

[goldiegollum]

*while all this has been going on, GG has been enjoying peacefull tree climbing and other such activities as she enjoys in Valinor (most thought she was just an unusual elf suffering from stunted growth). Then one day she heard that Feanor had made some really pretty shiney things. Being of annoyingly curious mind, she decided to check it out. Feanor's wife (FW...dunno her name) answered the door.*

FW: yes? *looks down* oh hello.

GG: Hi! I'm here to see the shiney thi- i mean i'm here to see see Feanor.

FW: *her smile vanishes* Oh. right....Feanor...*sniff* no one ever wants to see me...I'm just the maniac's wife.

GG: *shifts uncomfortably* err...Is he home?

FW: What? oh. Yes, but i wouldn't really call it 'being home', shut up in that that room of his, making Illuvitar-knows-what all day then he come home, drinks a few jugs of wine and stares at those...those...THINGS for hours on end, and won't even let me touch them! *mutters* psycho... but of corse they don't think so, they think he's brilliant, this wonderful...

GG: err... *starts to edge away*

FW: And you don't even want to know what happens every full moon...they never told me this before i married him!

GG: excuse me..?

FW: SHUT UP MIDGET! *resumes her rantings and ravings* think i'm going to file a divorce, no, they're not invented yet! ARGGGG!

GG: *having decided not to ase, she is now well out of hearing range* i sense the unrest.

GG: now well out

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Meanwhile, Feanor sat in his workship, putting the finishing touches on the Palantiri. Finally done, he looked at them with some satisfaction, but they did not seem near as good as the Sillymarillions.

Then he went to get some dinner. His wife was in the main room of their grand home looking rather upset.

Feanor: What's wrong, my love?

FW: What's wrong? What's wrong? Eh? You should know what's wrong! All you do all day is sit in your little workshop making shiny things that you barely let me see, let alone the children! I'm tired of this! I had seven children for you and--

*she stops, seeing Feanor looking incredibly upset*

FW: What is it?

Fea: I...remember when we first met, and I gave you that jewel?

FW: Yes...*touches a beautiful jewel that hangs around her neck on the finest chain*

Fea: Well, I promised you that you'd get something even more grand one day. And here it is. I hope you can forgive me, and maybe we can spend some more time together in the future.

FW: Well. . .alright. . .I suppose. . .but only if you promise to spend less time in the workshop and help me around the house for once!

Fea: Anything for you, my love! *hands her a magnificent jewel, the colour of the sea on a bright day when Laurelin's light shines out on the water. It is a deep blue but hidden within it are yellows and golds and reds and silvers and all sorts of colours*

And so Feanor and his wife were relatively happy again, though she was still worried as he spent a lot of time with the sillymarillions. And she worried that he loved those more than he loved her.

Meanwhile, their eldest son, Maedhros, was courting a young lass, the daughter of a Teleri shipwright and a Noldorin elf-woman, named Suliel. (ooc: sorry, i keep putting in my side story! i'll stop...eventually...sometime..maybe...:D)

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Just had a moment of genius that should clear up confusion about Melkor/Ulrica, have Ulrica be our version of Ungoliant. She'll fit right in.

*Meanwhile over where the evil people were plotting...*

Ulrica: Melkor dear...

Melkor: What?

Ulrica: I heard that Feanor's been making shiny things.

Melkor: Yes?

Ulrica: I like shiny things.

Melkor: And?

Ulrica: I want you to prove just how evil you are by getting the shiny things Feanor made and giving them to me. I'll forgive you for missing my birthday if you do, and maybe after wards I'll even reward you...

*For the sake of the little innocence we have left the rest of that conversation has been censored, suffice to say, Melkor agreed to steal the Sillymarils for his wife and thus the conflict began.*

[Finrod Felagund]

*So after Feanor had his seven sons/daughters, Fingolfin and Finarfin got it on...*

Fingolfin and Finarfin's wives: :eek:

*Ahem...got it on WITH THEIR WIVES!*

Wives: Oh...

*And Fingolfin and his wife had several children. Their names were (with slight variations), Fingon (father of Gil-Galad), Turgon (later king of the city of Gondola), and Aredhel (a girl, later to marry the dark elf Eyore).


Finarfin's children wee named Finrod (who would in later years be called Finrollum, and Fineagol), Galadriel (who would become the queen/founder of LorioDonalds), Aegnor and Angrod (famed hunters of the wild white frog of the north with their cousins Amrod & Amras), and Orodreth. (the one that all the other kids beat up on, especially Galadriel.)*


Finrod: I'VE BEEN BORN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miriam: Well look at that I have pointy ears...AHHHH!!! I'M AN ELF!






OOC: If I missed any. let me know and I'll edit!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Sauronkatt: Hmph! Melkor is all out parading around with that spider bint Ulrica and I'm stuck here in a pit under Angband! Well I won't stand for it!

*And with that Sauronkatt went scouring the pits for bits of evil. She brought together fire and ash an created a tiny winged plastic creature.*

Sauronkatt: Now my child, become alive!

*From the small plastic creature came a burst of fire which split and flew off in different directions. Thus the balrogs were born.*

*Sauronkatt glanced down*

Sauronkatt: Oh you poor thing!

*The little plastic balrog was hollowed out and it's wings were singed off.*

Sauronkatt: Poor thing. *Picks it up*

PlasticBalrog: *Squeeka*

Sauronkatt: Oh how delightfull! I know, I'll make you some companions.

*Unfortunatly the next room she came to was filled with pink cotton candy like stuff.*

OOC: More later. Prepare yourselves for the NEOPETS!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: I love worktime at school.

OOC2: I'm sorry, I can't do it. To research, I went to find pictures of NeoPets to discribe them accuratly like an expert. I CAN'T DO IT!!! TOO CUTE!!

OOC3: Help!

[Tanoliel]

ooc: I have no such qualms...Muahaha! Prepare for Neos!
ic:

Tano: *looks thoughtfully at her sword* Well...I guess you need to cool off a bit more. *puts down sword* So in the meantime, I'll make...stuff. Huh.

Random Elf: Hey, check out this box of junk we picked up. Can you make anything out of it?

Tano: Yeah, why not? *paws through box, which is a mix of fake fur, beads, and other items of forgotten third grade crafts projects* Hmmmm....*pulls out a handful of stuff* Let's see. If I stick this here, and that there, and these two things shoved in the middle...huh. Not too bad. I kinda like it.

Random Elf: Awwwww! It's so CUTE!

Tano: I shall give it a name! Neo, for new, as I have just created it...and pet...because it oughtn't to ever be one.

Random Elf: But I WANT it!

Tano: Absolutely not. *sets it on her special work desk, then picks up longsword* Now if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do.

Random Elf: *watches Tano go* Hmmm....well, I like it. *swipes Neopet*

*And thus the unrest began....as the Random Elf showed the Neopet to all his friends, and each began to want it for his or her own.....*

ooc: Hhahahahahaha.....:D

[goldiegollum]

*All the beings in Valinor decided to bhave a big happy party and they threw out big happy invitations made of fluttery silky stuff.*

GG: *plucks a fluttering invitation from the air* Oooooooo! look a big happy party! Yay!:D

Melkor: *perks ears* Party!? *evil/manic/delighted grin (a wierd combination)*

*Melkor, however, was too buysy doing evil and causing unrest to go to te party*

Melkor: *indignant* Says who?

*but even if he did have time, evil people do not go to big happy parties-*

Melkor: *shakily* but...but..*whine* that's not fair!

*-besides the fact that he was not invited*

Melkor: *enraged* WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!? *resolves to ruin the big happy party and steel silmarils in one swipe*

GG: *skips and sings in ignorant bliss* i'm going to a happy party! yay!

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

But. . .before this. . .Feanor got into a big fight with his little brother. Neither of them, by the time it turned to swords and whatnot and they were pulled apart, could remember why they were fighting. Feanor stuck his tongue out at Fingolfin. Feanor was taken away to calm down a bit. His wife looked on in despair.

ooc: gods, i need to re-read the Silmarillion...it would help. *sigh*

[goldiegollum]

Manwe: VARDA!!! Why did you order Feanor to come to the party!!!??? *agitated sigh* you know how he pushes my buttons *mutters something about rekindled rumors of underwear* I banished him for a reason you know, and now i have to put up with him for a whole day!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: This is Willow posting, Katt never logs off of the school computers and I'm too lazy to log on under my name.

*and so they all partied under the light of the two chocolate trees... But meanwhile Ulrica and Melkor were up to their tricks...*

Ulrica: *sneaky sneaky sneaky*

Melkor: *sneaky sneaky sneaky*

Ulrica: Mel! Wait. Before we kill Finwe and steal the sillymarils why don't we cause even more trouble by eating the two chocolate trees.

Melkor: Good idea, you are indeed a pillar of evil dear.

Ulrica: Thank you, but at the moment I'm just really craving something sweet.

*Sweet? Whoever heard of evil with a sweet tooth?*

Melkor&Ulrica: shut up narrator.

*I will not. Anyway the two villans sucked the chocolate out of the unfortunate trees and the land was plunged into darkness.*

Ear: Hey! Who turned out the lights?

*But before anyone could answer the gathered elves hear a scream from Formenos*

Feanor: The sillymarils!

*runs off leaving the rest of the gathering in confusion.*

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: OK, this is Katt. Creating more evils.

*In a pit under Angband, where no light reaches anyway...*

Sauronkatt: MUAH HA HA! I'm creating evil!

*Sounds of elves being tourtured*

Sauronkatt: MUAH HA HA! I'm creating evil! Even though I think I'm not supposed to make orks yet!

*Sounds of glass breaking.*

Sauronkatt: MUAH HA HA! I'm creating evil! Even though I think I'm not supposed to make orks yet! And there is no electricty to plug my pink flamingo lights of evilness into!

*Sounds of weaving wood*

Sauronkatt: MUAH HA HA! I'm creating evil! Even though I think I'm not supposed to make orks yet! And there is no electricty to plug my pink flamingo lights of evilness into! And my finger traps will trap them all! But wait, there is evilness in this world that is not mine. Since I am not in the plotline, I will begin my own quest to STEAL THE NEOPETS!

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

Feanor, seeing the Sillymarils being gone, runs outside to chase after Melkor and Ulrica. He goes to the Valar to beg for help.

Feanor: Manwe! Varda! He hath stolen all that is precious to me! My very life, my life's best work, they are gone, stolen by that monster! Help me gain them back!

Manwe: *whispers to Varda* Did he have to be invited?
Varda: Hush, dear. Feanor, uh, they just destroyed our trees. No more chocolate. The light and silliness and chocolate of the trees is in your Sillymarils. We will attempt to gain them back to use them to attempt to restore the trees.
Feanor: No! They are mine! You are just as bad! Melkor is one of your kind, is he not? You are all the same!
Manwe: Oh, really, now, Feanor. Grow up, will you?
Feanor: I cannot bear this suffering! I shall be the first of our kind to perish, in these lands, for I cannot bear to see my life's works thus taken from me!
Manwe: My, aren't you melodramatic?
Mandos: Thou shalt not be the first. Even now I can feel...Finwe your father has been killed by Melkor.
Feanor: NOOoooo!!!!!!!! *falls to the ground in agony*

[Claenoic]

*Meanwhile, Feanor's sons were bored out of their minds.*

Claedhros: *Walking along* Hum.... am bored.

Suliel: *Mysteriously pops up from nowhere* Why hello, Maedhros!

Claedhros: GACK!!! Who are you?

Suliel: Huh? You look like Maedhros... but, you're a girl!

Claedhros: I'm confused as you are. I don't remember you...

OOC: Since you created Suliel, EG, YOU explain what's with Suliel.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

OOC: Oh, sorry. Um. Suliel (who eventually becomes Eruviel Greenleaf, Captain of the Nal) is really just here for fun, but, well, she's and Maedhros are supposed to be "together" but if Maedhros is a girl that might change things a bit. Hmm. I'll just pick a different son of Feanor ;)

Suliel: Oh, sorry, Claedhros! I was...fne, I think I drank too much wine. Want to go hunting? Is Maglor going to be around? Do you know where he is?

Maglor: I'm here, Suliel.
Suliel: OH! hi! *gets all flirty*
Maglor: *becomes equally flirty*
Claedhros: *sighs* I think I'll just go over to the party then...heh...

Suliel and Maglor disappear off into the woods together. We don't ask. :eek:

[goldiegollum]

*Meanwhile, back in Valinor, after Feanor rushed off there was general chaos and confuzzlement*

GG: *stating the obvious* hey! I can't see!

Human: *restating the obvoious* neither can i.

Tano: *undaunted* could you please pass the chocolate platter? No not those ones, the ones shaped like little-

*ahem! there was general chaos and confuzzlement*

all: AHHHHHH!!!! where'dthelightsgoican'tseehelp!Theblackness shallconsumeuswhere'smyflashlighttheyhaven'tbeenin ventedyetoh,shutup!

random loud elf: IT'S GOING TO KILL US ALL!!!!

*pause*

ALL: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!*resume chaotic yelling*

Melkor and Ulrcia: Mwahahahah! Mwahahahaha! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tano: *running through the panicked crowd* chaos!!! *rubs hands together gleefully* heeeheeeheeheee Disorder! Unrest!!!! heeheehehehee!

GG: what'er you doning?

Tano: what does it look like? I'm geting high off of chaos! CHAOS! Heeeheeehe...

Manwe: *standing on a table with one foot in the pudding and the other on a broken bottle of wine* SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!

*all fall silent exept for the few who keep rambling on until they notice that everyone else is quiet and then they too eventually shut up*

Manwe: *ignoring her* Do not panic! we are prepared for this sort of thing! *hands out nifty glasses that give night vision* these shall have to do until we can provide some proper light. Do not worry, we have a plan. We have everything under controll! *aside to other Valar* so what's the plan?

[Earniel]

OOC: Psst GG, the sillymarils are already stolen. So I can't go to convince Feänor to hand them over. Could you edit your post?

*Meanwhile back in Alqualondë. In the dark.*

Eärniel: It sure is dark....

Olwë: Yes.

Eärniel: I can't see anything. Not a thing.

Olwë: You don't say.

Eärniel: I wonder whether I should sing a lament for the Trees.

*Sound of somebody gasping for breath and a thud*

Eärniel: Olwë? What are you doing?

Olwë: I.. just experienced a freak gravitational pull. Yes. Er... maybe we should forget that lament. After all they were only chocolate Trees, and that loss isn't even as bad as your singing. Er... I meant of course...

Eärniel: *doesn't hear him trying to apologise* Chocolate.... *lip quivers* CHOCOLATE!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! AIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!

*Back in Valinor*

Varda: *covers ears* My Eru, what is that aweful noice? Is Melkor trying another trick of his?

Tano: Er.... No, I think that's Eärniel wailing after realising the destroyed Trees were made of chocolate.

[Finrod Felagund]

OOC: Who's Fingolfin and sons & daughter


Fingolfin & Finarfin: *crying* Daddy!

Firod and bros/sis/fingolfin's kids: Grandpa!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

*While the lights were out, Sauronkatt crept up behind Tano and reached into her back pocket...*

Tano: Oy! What the bloody hell do you think you're doing Katt?

Katt: But you can't see me! It's too dark!

Tano: We got night vision goggles, remember?

Katt: Oh. Yeah. Right.

Tano: OY MELKOR! ISN'T THIS YOUR MINION?

Melkor: Sauron, what are you doing here? You don't show up for another age almost.

Katt: Tano has evilness and I wants it!

Melkor: No. Go back to your pit. And I don't want to find you making biscuts.

Katt: But--

Melkor: No but's miss, back you go.

Katt: *Sulk sulk*

Melkor: Thank you Tano. You know how trying minions can be these days. But anyway-- MUAH HA HA!!

OOC: Letters, and words. Do you realize how cool they are? Woah! I'm freaking out! So many combinations! The letters and words running together to form comprehendable phrases! I CAN"T TAKE IT!!

[Christiana]

Im Back!:D ;)

Flashback

Voice in the Air: Hey Fingolfin, get out of here!

*Fingolfin is deposited in an alternate universe*

Fingoliana:Hey everyone!
*sees Feanor/EG*
Fingoliana:I'm getting tired of you nagging me, so here.*gives Feanor a Get Out Of Jail Free card*

End Flashback

Fingoliana leans down to the moaning Feanor and whispers:Psst.Hey.Arnt there lines youve got to say?
Feanor:How did you no that?
Fingoliana:cuz i read the Sim.

[Tanoliel]

Tano: See, Katt, if you want to be evil you have to sign this contract, and this one...and this one here, signing your soul over--and this one, right here.
Katt: Since when did you become supreme evil boss of the world?
Tano: Since I am Senior Techie God of Doom and Underworld Evilness! *holds out black gaffer tape*
Katt: Oh no.
Tano: Oh, yes. But here. I suppose we can share.

ooc: Yes. I am evil senior techie god. We teched at graduation, which makes me a techie (which I already was) and now I am a senior, and of course I am a goddess...or god, whichever. :)

[goldiegollum]

OCC: ach! you see what happened was that i was posting and while i was three other people posted so the storey progressed without my knowledge and i posted stuff that did not work because other stuff had already...oh well you get the point. i'll fix it:)

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Katt: Sure! I'll sign it! But, there is, um, a little problem.

Tano: What?

Katt: An ensie weenie teeny problem.

Tano: And it is?

Katt: An ensie weenie teeny little baby problem.

Tano: I understand that part.

Katt: An ensie weenie teeny little baby probably-not-even-worth-mentioning problem.

Tano: Katt...

Katt: An ensie weenie teeny little baby probably-not--

Tano: KATT!

Katt: Yes?

Tano: What is the problem.

Katt: Well, CoughIalreadysoldmysoletoMelkorcough

Tano: You what?

Katt: I already sold my sole to Melkor. That really isn't a problem, is it?

Tano: Grone!

[Elf Girl]

OloriGirl: *fiddles with night-vision goggles* Manwe! My goggles don't fit!

Manwe: *deep in political conversation with Varda*

OloriGirl: *sigh* Nobody likes me and I'm not in the story until the end! *whimper* *sob*

[Willow Oran]

(Meanwhile Maggie is still trying to figure out how she's supposed to get anything accomplished as a cloud of Urple stuff. Her musings are interrupted as Ulrica and Melkor, returning from their crime stop to have an argument right below her.)

Ulrica: Ha! We completely cruched the spirits of those stupid elves! Now Melkor, honey, you're going to give me the shiny jewels aren't you?

Melkor: Uh, yeah. *he takes out some shiny, but tackey jewelry pieces and hands them to her* Here, the fruits of our labor.

Ulrica: *getting angry* What? Are you blind? these aren't the right ones. GIVE ME THE SILLYMARILS!!!!!

Melkor: No! I stole them! They're mine!

*she tries to take them by force*

Melkor: Balrogs!!!!!!!!! Attaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!!!

*The balrogs come to Melkor's aid and shrieking with rage Ulrica flees. The danger averted Melkor calms down and all but one of the balrogs depart. The last checks to see that no one but Melkor is around and suddenly changes into what is unmistakably a man*

Melkor: Ah, Mr. Nelson, once again your genius inventions have helped me.

Mr.Nelson: It was no trouble. I come from a place it is the duty of people like me to give technological aid to the goverments of developing nations like yours. Obvious traitors like that women are not to be tolerated in the ideal realm.

*Melkor does not understand a word of this futureistic talk, but Maggie, recognizing Mr. Nelson as the man the Human and Katt had warned them about decides to continue to eavedrop on their conversation. They continue talking about Mr. Nelson's plans for large machine operated weapons while she tries desperately to think of a useful body for later as being a cloud of urple stuff will not help her gather information, unfortunately she thought too hard and found herself suddenly back in Willow's body. She hangs in the air above the two for a moment before gravity does its work and she lands hard on the ground between the two villans.*

Willow: Heh, heh... oops?

Mr. Nelson: Who in hell are you?

Willow: Erm... no one, really. I'm a random faerie that just appeared out of thin air and will dissapear in a moment. Just a figment of your imagination really.

*She closes her eyes and attempts to de-body herself and dissapear, it doesn't work and the world jolts as Melkor lifts her up off the ground till they are face to face*

Melkor: You're a spy aren't you? You're too small for a true elf, I'll bet they made you as some sort of experiment and decided to keep you for spy work didn't they.

Willow: Um.. no not really.

Mr. Nelson: It doesn't really matter what you are, you must have overheard what we were talking about.

Willow: Well, maybe, but I didn't understand a word of it.

Mr. Nelson: My lord, surely you can tell that she's far too dangerous to let go.

Melkor: *shrugs* It doesn't matter to me one way or another, if you what the thing as a prisoner, take it.

Mr. Nelson: Yes, I think I would, I want to see how much she knows, and to find out what she is, I've never seen anything like this creature before.

Willow: *quietly* Uh, oh...

[Earniel]

*Meanwhile Eärniel is tired of staring at the darkness and decides to go to Fëanor to get a nice shiny lamp. Well that's the official story, in reality, Olwë threw her out of Alqualondë because her wailing gave him ruptured ear-drums.*

Eärniel: Will you stop yapping about my voice already?

*Why? It's my job to narrate.*

Eärniel: Then stick to the official version.

*Whatever.*

Eärniel: *reaches Fëanor's home and pushes the open door further open* Knock, knock?

EG: Go away.

Eärniel: Well I would but I don't see a thing and I'll bump into things.

EG: Then how did you get here in the first place?

Eärniel: A plothole, I think. But I was wondering whether you hadn't got one of those shiny feanorean lamps left to lend me.

EG: *aggitated* Why is it that everybody always wants something of me?! They want my sillymarils, they want my position in my father's court, they want lamps, they want this, they want that....

Eärniel: Well.....

EG: Excuse me, I wasn't done ranting.

Eärniel: Oh, sorry. Do continue.

EG: And now my sillymarils are stolen, my dad's run through and Tano's freaking neopets are all over the place! *violently kicks neopet out of the way*

Eärniel: *shivers as the unfortunate neopet sails through the air and hits the wall with a thud and a squeak* Woa, I think you need some anger management classes....

EG: What?!

Eärniel: Aaaah don't kill me! *cowers* I mean, wouldn't it be a nice revenge on Melkor when you made enough lamps to light Valinor again? That would seriously make Melkor very pissed. Incidentally you can start by giving a tiny lamp to me just so I...

EG: Revenge.....?

Eärniel: Yes, sort of. I mean you want to get back at the slimy lowlife jewelthief, don't you?

EG: *grins disturbingly* Yes... I will have my revenge. I will burn down half of Middle-earth if that's what it takes to get my sillymarils back!

Eärniel: No, wait! That's not what I meant!

EG: *storms off to convince the Noldor to track down Melkor*

Eärniel: *watches EG storm off angrily* Oh bugrit. They'll be saying it's all my fault for sure.

Miriam: Incidentally it IS your fault...

Eärniel: Miriam? Is that you? I forgot all about you.

Miriam: Yes. Especially since Finwë dumped me for someone else. When I'm done with him, all he'll ever be able to say will be 'gollum'.

Eärniel: That's some nice foreshadowing. But we better go warn the Valar that Fëanor is up to no good.

*Miriam agrees and the two quickly head back to the Valar. Unfortunately it's dark and they don't see anything and bump into a lot of things. So it was that Fëanor reached his city first and started to rouse the Noldor before Eärniel or Miriam could alert the Valar.*

OOC: I'll leave the speech to you EG. :)

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Well...hmm. I suppose we could just write a nifty little treaty and be evil allies for an age or two.
Katt: Ahh. That sounds a little easier.
Tano: Yes. So. Let's get writing, shall we?

ooc: Katt...I have no motivation right now...so if you wanna write a treaty or whatever, go ahead.

tano

[Willow Oran]

*Suddenly Melkor and Mr. Nelson come into the room where Tano and Katt are negotiating.*

Melkor: Hey, you, minions. My friend here has a job for you.

Mr.Nelson: *dumps Willow at their feet* We found this thing spying on us, see what you can get out of it, I'll be back to dissect it later.

*They leave*

Willow: Dissect?!?

Tano: Who the heck was that?

Katt: No idea, but whoever he is he's nasty.

Tano: Are we going to follow his orders?

Willow: Say no, please, say no!

Katt: Well...

[Tanoliel]

Tano: If you want to hang around and help us, I suppose we can get you away from the unsavory characters. What d'ya say?
Katt: She could help control the neopets.
Tano: No joke. I had no idea they'd be so....prolific. Er. Fruitful. Yeah. *picks neopet off shoulder* I think I might have to introduce a Neo-Predator...

ooc: Had a thought, Willow--could the pink fluffy bunnies be natural neo prredators? :)

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Of course! My carnivorous bunnies would love to eat some juicy neo-pets.

Willow: Neo-Predator...?

Tano: Something to eat these critters.

Willow: I could try to come up with something.

Katt: So how did they get you anyway?

Willow: I'm not sure. One moment I was a cloud of Urple stuff, the next I was in this body again.

Tano: Maybe you could change bodies again, then they wouldn't recognize you.

Willow: Maybe, I don't think it's going to work right now though. I've been trying.

Tano: How bothersome, but about those neo-predators...

Willow: Right, I think I've got some creatures of my own that would be perfect.

[Arcala]

*Meanwhile, confused by the sudden darkness, an elf and her bird bumped into trees, rocks, the ground, and basically anything that you're able to bump into.*

Bird: Hey! I'll have you know, my night vision is VERY good!

Arcala: And my name isn't elf, it's Arcala! I'll thank you to keep that in mind!

*Well, you should call me MR. Narrator! Kids these days! No respect at all!*

Arcala: It'll be UNCONCIOUS narrator if you don't shut up for once in your life!

*Uh........*

Bird: Hey, there are people over there, Acala!

Arcala: Really? Well I hope you're right for once. Hmmmm..... You think they might know how to ger out ofthis darkness?

Bird: Maaaybeee....

*So it was that Arcala and her bird met Eärniel and Miriam. By bumping straight into them.*

[Earniel]

*The sound *BUMP* is heard as the three girls and the bird collide in the darkness and end up in a heap on the floor.*

Eärniel: Umpf. I hate this.

Miriam: Ouch, what did we bump into now?

Arcala: Urgl...

Eärniel: What was that?

Miriam: I don't know. Something that goes bump in the night?

Eärniel: Aren't those normally scary thing?

*Miriam and Eärniel try to share a frightened look but since it's dark it fails somewhat. Instead the two Elves suddenly hug each other in fear and scream: Aaaah! Ms. Cam!*

Arcala: What are you two whining about? Also, could you please go off me?

Miriam: What? Who? Who are you?

Arcala: I'm Arcala and incidentally you're sitting on my bird.

Eärniel: What? Oh, sorry. *removed a somewhat flattened feathery thing from under her. The angry bird rewards her with pecking her hand and returns to Arcala.*

Arcala: What happened? Why is everything dark?

Eärniel: MelkorandUlricakilledtheTwoTreesandsokilledallthel ightsofValinorandManwëwasstupidenoughnottobuildan emergancygeneratorthenMelkorandUlricastoleFëanors sillymarilsandnowFëanorisveryangryattheworldingen eralandhesgoingtoarousethenoldorandbadthingsaregoi ngtohappenandeverybodywillsayitsallmyfaultbutallIw antedwasjustonelousylamp!

Arcala:*confused* I see.

Miriam: We're wasting time! Let's go!

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Oooh, fantastic. *picks Neopet off shoulder* These things are getting everywhere...
Willow: No kidding. Let's see...
Tano: Now, Katt...*pulls out piece of paper* Let's write that treaty.
Katt: Er...ok?
Tano: Lessee...."Tano and Katt agree to be allies in evil for a while..." *scribbles on paper* "...for as long as it serves their interests..." There's really not much else. You have anything?

ooc: I'm being stupid. Kitty, help me....add some stuff.

[Christiana]

OOC:Eg, please do your speech so that i can come into the story more1

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Katt: No no no. It doesn't have enough clauses and subparagraphs. But, you know what? Lawyers haven't crawled out of the mud pits yet, so why bother?

*Katt got out a piece of parchment paper and Caligraphied in the phrase "Katt and Tano hereby aggree to be allies and co owners of the neo-pets so long as it suits their needs." Katt extended the contract and a pin.*

Katt: Just a drop of blood there. I have to get back to my lair. I left the orks boiling and I think the phone may have fallen in. (OOC: the birth of solicitorks)

Tano: Wait a minute, "co owners of the neopets"?

OOC: You wanna get in an argument?

[Tanoliel]

Tano: I never said anything about owning the neopets. I didn't mean to make the things. I don't want the things. All I want to do is wreak some havoc and stuff....

[goldiegollum]

*back in Valinor*

Nienna: *looking through her night vision goggles at the mess where the two chocolate trees used to be* they were so... so...beautiful! all that chocolate...gone...gone! *bursts out in tears as usual*

*since no one is there to give her a tissue, Nienna's tears flow onto the ground to mingle with the spoiled chocolate. Then, miraculously, the mess is washed away and all that is left are two sparkly clean trunks that used to be chocolate.*

A crowd of elves that has gathered: oooooh! Aaaaah!

*one elf walks up and bottles some of Nienna's tears. She takes them back to her house where she duplicates them and sells them as the first ever cleaning liquid*

Nienna: *breaks off from crying* eh?

*nevermind. Meanwhile, Feanor is giving long speaches and rallying up the noldor, trying to convince people to rebell against the Valar*

Feanor: Blah blah blah blah ... Manwe's underwear...blah blah blah...

*Earniel spys on speach*

Earniel: *stuffing chocolate bar in pocket* what? oh, right.

Feanor: blah blah blah blah... we'll take the frogboats as no one else seems to want them...blah blah blah blah

Earniel: *gasp* NO! *sob*

*somewhere else*

Manwe: so... d'you think Nienna'll stop crying anytime soon and ley Yvanna have a go at getting some last drops of glowing chocolate out of those stumps?

Nienna: *cries*

Varda: i wouldn't count on it.

Manwe: i'm getting really hungry..

Varda: Manwe! we have to put them up and use them for light!

Manwe: *dissapointed* oh. *grumbles*

Nienna: *cries*

GG: *popping out of a tree* Hey, manwe do your underwear really-

Manwe: WHAT!?!?

GG: it's just that Feanor said...

Manwe: Grrrrrrrrr... *whines* that guy's really starting to get on my nerves...

[Christiana]

*Thus Feanor swore a great oath: an oath which none shall break, and none shall take, by the name even of Illuvatar, calling the Everlasting Chocolate-lack upon them if they kept it not: and Manwé and Varda they named in witness, and the twain's underpants, vowing to pursue with vengence and hatred to the ends of the earth vala, Demon, Elf, Man, Solicitork, Neopet, Fairy, Penguin, or pink Fluffy Bunny who should hold or keep from them a Sillymaril ect. ect.*

Fingoliana:Ya know bro, I would much rather stay in Valinor. But that would screw up the plot.

Feanor/EG: Too true.Besides, that wierd gizmo man might take over the world then.

Fingoliana:lets go.

[Claenoic]

Meanwhile, back at the ranch... er, fortress...

Claedhros and company: Ho hum. Bored.

Finrod: *Pops in* We're leaving.

C & c: HUh? Why?

Finrod: Because they *wiggles eyebrows* want my Sillymarils.

Amrod: Who's they ? *wiggles eyebrows*

Finrod: Um... never mind. We'll nick the frogboats after I make my Rousing Speech (TM)

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Katt: Oh. Ok! So the contract now goes something like this. You give all the lovely evil fluffy things to me, and I don't kill you in the upcomming war.

Tano: That's what I've been saying.

Katt: Oh. All right.

*The two did a complicated handshake that involved some blood, much swearing, spitting, and a funny little dance made up on the spot.*

Katt: Now that that's settled, *turns to Willow* Whadda MEAN you got some of your creatures that are gonna eat my property?

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Hmmm. *folds contract carefully and puts it in her special unreachable pocket* Very good. Now Katt, the Neopets have to have some natural predator...they can't be everywhere. They'd choke us out.

ooc: Katt--reply to my email re:scheduling please! (I am going crazy...you have no idea....:eek: )

tano

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Katt: Yeah, but preditors die out and cute fuzzy things thrive. It's the Tribble syndrome. We could save some time and forget the preditors.

OOC: I did call you! I told your dad "Katt's death scedualed for the 21st"

[Tanoliel]

ooc: I know. I got the message after I posted. Thanks! I'll call you later about times for you death. :)

Tano: *sigh* I know. Tribbles. Somehow I think they'd be easier to deal with than these...neopets. *looks around at neopets, noticing that there seem to be a great many more of them than before* Speaking of which...I don't suppose they breed like Tribbles, do they?

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Katt: What? Born pregnant? I dunno. Suppose we should disect one? We were supposed to be disecting something.

Willow: *A little nervously* Um, I think the mystery of the Neopets is more pressing.

Katt: Of course, you're right.

Tano: Um, Willow? Now would be a good time to bring in those preditors! Ow!

*A Neopet had just bit her on the ankle.*

*The Neopets, which hadn't been fed since they were created, had started to eat trees and breed more rapidly.*

OOC: um, are we the only ones posting?

[Tanoliel]

ooc: Apparently so. Come ON, guys! Post already!

Tano: *grabs a neopet, which squawks indignantly* Here, you little critter. Maybe we should dissect it. It would be fun.
Wilow: Ew. You're going evil.
Tano: Must be the influence of such an evil binding contract. I've got some tools over there, Katt.

[Willow Oran]

Willow: Predators? Alright, I'll see what I can do.

*she turns around and does... something, and when she turns back she holds two adorable Pink Fluffy Bunnies.*

Katt: Those are predators?

Willow: Just watch?

*Several hours later, there is a small group of neopets left, and they are cornered by the bunnies. The rest of the room is covered in carnage.*

Tano: Wow.

Katt: Uhuh.

Tano: That worked, now, what was it the bosses wanted us to do?

[Nazgûl Queen]

(OOC: Waiting for an appropriate time to be born)

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Katt: DISECT HER! And we still haven't done it!

Willow: You can't disect me! I gave you Neopreaditors!

Tano: Well we are gonna have to disect something!

OOC: I'm getting flashes of the Micado where the Lord High Exicutioner has to kill sombody...

Edit: Oh, and people? When things don't happen, (like certianpeopleIcanmentionmorethanone not being born) you have to make them happen. If you want something changed, find a way to chang it!

[Claenoic]

OOC: Er... Mourako? Who are you going to be? Again?

*Feanor arrives at the city and makes his "Rousing Speech" ™*

Feanor: The Valar SUCK MIGHTILY and we need to SCRAMBLE!!

Crowds: ... HUZZAH!

*So they all troop off (with the exception of another elf kindred (Help? Can't remember)) to steal the frogboats...)*

OOC: Am I the only one keeping the main plotline alive?

[Elf Girl]

OloriGirl: I'm bored. *trails Noldor and sits in one of the frogboats*

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Maybe we should go on a quest for the lost plot line. :D

[Tanoliel]

ooc: No joke.
Three little neopets from ME are we... (Whoa...flashes of the Mikado not so good, Kitty...:D)

Tano: Let's dissect this! *holds up neopet who looks dead*

Katt: It's dead.

Tano: Yes.

Katt: Why?

Tano: It crawled into my pocket and suffocated itself.

Katt: They're really stupid.

Tano: Yes.

Katt: Why?

Tano: I don't know. I'm just the creator, here. C'mon. Let's cut it up.

Willow: Ew....

[goldiegollum]

*Feanor and co sneek up to frogboats*

Feanor *glancing furitavley around* coast clear?

Random sea elf (RSE): excuse me? may i help you?

Feanor: *trying without success to hide the large crowd of mutinous looking noldor behiend him* err... i was just um...steeling-*he is nudged painfully in the ribs* i mean wanting to know if i could borrow some of these frogboats...?

RSE: *laughing* oh, sure, we've been wanting an excuse to get rid of them forever-

Earniel: *appears breathless on the scene* NO!

All: eh?

Earniel: NO! *strikes a defensive pose* you'll have to get past me if you want to take the frogboats

*this threat is followed by imense laughter from both the noldor and the other sea elves who have arived on the scene*

GG: *popping in* and me too! *strikes a would-be threatening pose (i mean whould-be if she were much taller and feircer looking*

*more laughter*

Earniel: Yeah! you'll have to get past us-*glowers at sea elves* and the rest of the sea elves who will support me! *looks around* or maybe they just need a good rousing fight tune... *opens mouth to sing*

*suddenly the mood changes and all the sea elves prepare to defend the frogboats (and their ears)*

[Willow Oran]

(Meanwhile back in the Evil Fortress of Darkness...)

Tano: *stareing at the now disected Neo-pet* This is boring, I wanna do something!

Katt: Yeah...

Willow: Hey! I know! Why don't we escape from this place and become weird wandering people who whisper things in people's ears at night so that they'll do the things nessecary to keep the plotline moving?

Tano: You mean so we have an excuse to keep moving so that we don't get stuck here?

Willow: Basically.

Katt: Sounds good to me. Now that we know it's the weird gizmo guy who's helping Morgoth we don't really need to stick around here anyway. Let's go.

(and so the three conspirators snuck away from the Evil Fortress of Darkness intent on going into the world to do their own works of good/evil/whatever they felt like.)

[Finrod Felagund]

Feanor: ATTACK!

*everyone is fighting*

Fingolfin? and Finarfin (and thus Galadriel, Finrod, Fingon Turgon etc.) come upon the fight and join in.

FF: YEEHA!

[Elf Girl]

OloriGirl: Maybe I'll create something to get these frogboats moving... *concentrates* Abracadabra! *nothing happens* Huh? *looks at self* I'm an Elf!

Eru: Well, if want to go with the Elves, be an Elf for awhile.

OloriGirl: Can I at least have a sword?

Eru: *sigh* Very well.

OloriGirl: *brandishes sword and joins fight*

[goldiegollum]

*meanwhile GG sits in an apple tree throwing hard unripe apples at random elves from either side. while doing so, she squeaks the squeaky hair thing in her ear with a manic gleam in her eyes*

GG: *squeaka-squeaka-squeaka* *toss* *squeaka-squeaka-squeaka*

*clunk*

*an apple colides with the back of Feanor's head; he turns around and sees GG, who was unsuccessfully trying to hide herself in the foliage*

Feanor: Ouch! why me?

*because i said so*

Feanor: *advances on GG with a very long, very pointy, and very shiney bloodstained sword*

GG: Umm....Feanor? *eyes the sword uncomfortably* is that err...*smiles hopefully* Katsup or something??

Feanor: *evil grin*

GG: *worried* err...that's not Katsup is it...*nervously* you know....you know i never was for voilence to begin with...actually i believe that peace is a much better alternatiuve for-

Feanor: *slashing at her from below the tree* I'm afraid you're in the wrong place in the wrong scene in the wrong storey throwing apples at the wrong elf for that alternative! *slashes*

GG: *just barley eluding the sword* oh dear. *counts on fingers*
i must be really wrong...AHH! *dodges sharp sword again*

*suddenly Feanor stops mid-swing because some little voices started talking to him in his head, telling him to stop wasting his time slashing at wierd things in trees, and that what he really needs to be focusing on is the frogboats*

Feanor: Oh. yeah. THE FROGBOATS! TO THE FROGBOATS!

*The noldor re-double thier efforts and begin to swarm the boats, throwing random elves out of the way (that is, slashing them and/or chucking them overboard) THen GG realized she wanted to go along, and spotted her chance when she saw some noldor rolling big barrels of wine aboard the ships (this was hard in mid-battle, but what else can one expect a bunch of elves to do on a long sea-voyage?)*

GG: *confuzzled* eh? could you explain that a little more clearly? i'm not exactly sure what you want me to do...though barels and wine and hiding in barelds do ring a fuzzy bell...

*sigh. (fine, i'll spell it out for you) she chucked an apple at the last barrel rolling elf (knocking him out cold), emptied the contents (much to the noldor's dismay when they eventually find her in there) and allowed herself to be rolled aboard the ship.*

GG: Ohhhhh! needo! hey, it smells good in here! like...like...*licks the still-wet side of the barel* Ouch! *tries to get splinter out of her tongue*

[Elf Girl]

OloriGirl, who will now be called Elf Girl since that is her corporeal form: *clutches the Wingless Plastic Balrog Toy that she made along time ago and hides in the hold of one of the frogboats* Wait! I'm an Elf now! I don't need to hide, wheee! *walks on deck and starts talking about lines and tackle heave-ho's as though she knows what she's doing.

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Going to move the plot along now, if there was something that you had a good idea for that got skipped feel free to use the flashback device.

And so the Frogboats of the Teleri were stolen and the noldor exiled and much grief came from it, for Feanor betrayed his people and burned the shilps leaving the rest to come to middle earth by way up the grinding ice. But they did come eventually and it is there at the edge of middle earth and the ice that they found three strange beings, waiting for them.

Fingolfin: What are these?

Katt: *seriously drunk* We're the wid- wer- no wiaaaar...

Finrod: Weird?

Katt: Yah, that's the word, we them, y'know, the witchy whatsits...


Tano: I don't think they know `bout macbeth kitty.

Katt: Oh, well anyway we were gonna tell you.... what was it we was gonna tell them `gain?

Willow: Dunno, I forget.

Tano: Guess we weren't gonna tell them anything then.

Katt: Oh, okay, we wanted to tell you... NOTHING!

*and with that the three strangers wandered off into beleriand singing an off key but haunting tune....*

Katt,Tano&Willow: Fair is foul and foul is fair....

Galadriel: Well.... That was interesting.

Finrod: I wonder who they were...

(meanwhile over the hill the four are still singing softly)

Maggie: Hey, do you think we should have warned them about the fact the Feanor is dead and Maehdros and prisenor of Morgoth?

Willow: Maybe... Ah well, to late now, they'll find it out on their own eventually.

Maggie: Yes, I suppose so.

[Claenoic]

OOC: De-lurking... need to give Claedhros's point of view in Morgoth's pits...

*Meanwhile... far away in Morgoth's pits (which is also inhabited by Ulrica)*

Morgoth: Shut up.

*Make me. Anyhoo, Claedhros, after being tortured by being forced to stare at the color urple for long periods of time, is hung by (no, not her wrist) her hair in a random pit in Thangorodrim (is that right?)*

Ulrica: Why didn't we tie her up by the wrist?

*She complained. And also, it hurts equally as much, and she didn't want her arm cut off if she was to escape.*

Morgoth: Ah. I see.

OOC: Just didn't want bodily mutilation, if y'know what I mean.

[Christiana]

Fingoliana:I'm a girl remember!

[goldiegollum]

*The Valar sit, deep in thought, (this post is named, 'time passes")*

*time passes*

Manwe: *cough*

Nienna: *cries*

*time passes*

Yavanna: what's that fire?

Varda: Feanor. burnt the ships.

Yavanna: oh. right.

Manwe: 'figures.

Yavanna: Nienna, you're soaking wet.

Nienna: *cries*

*time passes*

*more time passes*

Yavanna: so..... anybody want me to do something about those trees?

All: *blink, shake heads in a confuzzuled, "where am i?" sort of way*

Manwe: what? oh. right. sing away.

Yavanna: *sings*

Nienna: *cries*

*time passes*

Yavanna: *sings, thinking, "drat, this isn't working*

*time passes*

chocolate tree stumps: *sit there looking dead*

Yavanna: *i must look really stupid* *sings*

OCC: whenever the time is right, the glowing golden chocolate fruit silver chocolate flower can come, and until then Yavanna can keep singing while the rest of them sit around...

[Earniel]

*So things aren't looking good with Feanoriel dead, her daughter Claedhros hung by her hair in Morgoth's lair, her sister Fingolfiana and others TLA-members braving the Grinding Ice and three strange drunken creatures roaming the hills of Beleriand. Hey, I managed to sum up the entire situation in one sentence, isn't that grand?*

Eärniel: *clad in neopetpelts against the cold of Helcaraxë* Shut. Up.

Fingolfiana: *equally clad in neopetpelts* Don't waste your breath on him. We still got far to go. Pestering the narrator won't help, we need him to narrate our entrance in Middle-earth.

*You heard the lady.*

Miriam: *clad in... well you catch my drift already* Boy, is it cold here!

Finrod: Yes, I suppose that is why they call it the Grinding Ice.

Galadriel: *rolls eyes* Brilliant observation, bro.

Arcala: Just how long are we supposed to walk in this frigging freezing wasteland? When can we enter Middle-earth?

Eärniel: Well, we can't enter Middle-earth before the Sun and Moon are made. And knowing the Valar that CAN take some time...

*all moan when they remember just how quick the Valar can be.*

Miriam: *remembering her shrink's education* Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts.....


OOC: I think it's about time the Valar make the sun and moon. Yavanna is going to have a sore throat soon from all that singing. ;)

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

*In Valinor, Yavanna sang and Nienna cried. Time passed, as it had before. Then from the chocolate trees grew buds. One bud to each tree. Out of Telperion grew one single flower of silver, and out of Laurelin one single fruit of gold.*

*Yavanna stopped singing and took the fruit and the flower. The trees died, as is the way with all things. Yavanna gave the fruit and flower to Aule whose people made vessels for them to be held in and to preserve their radience. The vessels were given to Varda to be the lamps of heaven; to outshine the ancient stars, being nearer to Middle Earth. Varda set them to travel across the sky above Middle Earth from East to west, and then to return to the east again. Maia were chosen to steer the vessels called the Sun and the Moon, though they had many names.*

*Yet the Valar were troubled, for the hour of men was drawing near and Melkor still roamed unchecked. The light of the sun and moon hindered his evil works, but did not stop them. So they vowed war against Melkor and his wife Ulrica.*

Katt: And they still don't know about me. How like an evil overlord to leave his trusted minion out of the plans and only trust his wife.

[Earniel]

*Finally the Elves on the Grinding Ice catch sight of land. Immediatly their dignified procession turns into a disordered race to Middle-earth (and out of the cold). Neopetspelts fly through the air end up on a heap in the green Middle-earth. As they land the sun rises, shining her golden light on the world as a new era for TLA-kind begins. Oh yeah, and somewhere far away in the East the annoying race of Men awakes.*

Eärniel: *on the ground* Middle-earth! I'd kiss you if you weren't that muddy. What the heck. *smouch*

Finrod: We made it! We rule!

Eärniel: Yech, now I got sand between my teeth.

GG: About time you made it too, I've been waiting half a page here.

Arcala: Goldiegollum? Is that you? You look a bit....singed.

Eärniel: Bleh, sand doesn't taste that good.

GG: *looking indeed a bit singed on the edges* I hid in a wine barrel on the frogboats. Only I got a tiny weeny bit drunk on the voyage and I forgot to leave the ship when Feanoriel burned them. So can I join you?

Fingolfiana: I see. Well, sure.

*The Elven host sets out for Morgoth's lair. *

Miriam: *knocks on gate* Hello? Morgoth? Ulrica? Mister weird gizmo guy?

Morgoth: *opens the door*I hate people who keep coming at the door wanting to sell me all sort of useless things. Go away, I don't need anything.

Fingolfiana:*insulted* We're not selling anything! We've come to fight you and reclaim the sillymarils!

Morgoth: Hah! Make me.

Eärniel: *hopefull * I can sing for you, you know....

Morgoth: *laughs* Not a chance hun, I've got this wonderful invention from Mr Nelson against it.

GG: And what is that, then?

Morgoth: Ear plugs. tataa silly Elves! *slams door before their noses*

*And with that last comment he closes the door again and no amount of noice the Elves can make can get through Mr Nelsons ear plugs. Unfortunately through the noice no one hears Claedhros cries for scissors and a haircut. So the Elves retreat and make camp near the camp of Feanoriel's host that is currently under Olorigirl's command.*

[Christiana]

*about this point, fingoliana finds a horse and a wolf*

[Claenoic]

Claedhros: The PAIN!!! Dang this HURTS!!! Hello? Anyone? HELLLOOOOO!!!

OOC: Meh. I'm back, and will be back for the next three months. Whee.

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Yeesh! Where did all the plot go? This thing is going to needs a ton of editing to become coherent. Oh well. On we march.
For purposes of covienience I'm going to refer to my character as Maggie from now on, even when I'm using Willow's or Mahtaliel's form. That way I won't have to switch names every time I switch bodies.

*And so the three weird things wandered beleriand for many days scaring the newly arrived elves and enjoying themselves immensly until one day Willow managed to get lost in the forests of Doriath.*

Maggie: Stupid trees, can't see anything through them, wish I was taller...

*The wish took effect, without warning her shape changed once more into that of an elf. There was no time to wonder about this however for at that moment there came voices through the trees.*

Artanis/Galadriel: We're lost aren't we?

Finrod: No, I told you we're going the right way.

Artanis: It's a forest Finrod, we can't even tell which way the right one is. Just admit it we're lost.

Finrod: No we are not lost, we are looking for Doriath, and we are in a forest in the location that we were told Doriath was in, therefore this must be Doriath.

Artanis: None of which changes the fact that we are lost in the very place we were looking for!

Maggie(coming out from the trees): Are you lost here too? Have you seen two weird looking people wandering around and singing drunkenly because I seem to have misplaced them and-

(she is cut off by the sudden appearance of several sindarin elves)

Random elf with silver hair: Who are you and what do you want here?

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Wha--*grabs Katt's hair and pulls her back behind a tree* Wait! Good news and bad news, Katt--don't go out there yet.
Katt: Good news?
Tano: We found Maggie--
Katt: I didn't know we'd lost her.
Tano: Oh well. I don't remember anything after drinking the greenhappy...*twitches slightly* Anyway, we found her.
Katt: Bad news?
Tano: She's surrounded by a bunch of snicky elves.
Katt: So?
Tano: They don't look very happy at her.
Katt: Oh...

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Katt: Well why don't we just go out there and grab her? We can run fast.

Tano: Yes, but Maggie may not want to be grabbed.

Katt: Bloody elves.

OOC: Can't wait for school to start. More Moot time.

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Am about to commit unspeakable evil... Please forgive.

*Meanwhile just outside the range of Tano and Katt's hearing Maggie found to her panic that it was now her turn to explain herself, (Artanis and Finrod having already accomplished this,) and was now on the recieving end of several Piercing Elven Stares.*

Maggie: *gulps nervously* Well, you see misterCelebornsir, I didn't mean to trespass-

Celeborn: *suspicously* How did you know my name? I don't recall telling you...

Maggie: Heh, erm... lucky guess?

*Suddenly tired of playing meek and remembering the quest she had come to middle earth to complete in the first place she decided that she may as well get this over with, the poor elf would undoubtably be furious afterward but she would have to risk it sooner or later. Having decided on her course of action Maggie lunged forward and quickly locked the unsusepcting sindar prince in an uncharacteristically passionate kiss. And then turned around and did the same to Finrod.*

Maggie: *breaking away from the rather traumatized future king of Nargothrond and checking her hair* Blast! Still Mahtaliel's hair. Didn't work then. *turns to face the now fuming elves, grinning like a manaic* Good news boys, neither of you is my true love. Well, thank you both for your time but as invigorateing as that was I'm afraid I must leave now. Tata! *she turns to leave and finds the rest of the elves blocking her escape*

Celeborn: *really bloody angry* You aren't going anywhere.

OOC: Well! That was exciting there for a moment wasn't it! Boy am I in trouble now...

[Earniel]

*Meanwhile back in the camp of the hosts of the Noldor, Eärniel and the TLA-members there present, find there's a lot of mistrust and hate between the host that followed Fingolfiana and the one that followed Fëanor.*

Elf Girl: *sigh* There is just no way we can get this guys work together. We need both hosts if we want to get this mr. Nelson out of the picture.

Fingolfiana: What do you suggest? That I tell my host to cheer up and make friends with the Feanoreans? Don't forget, you guys felt us behind to cross the Grinding ice all by ourselves, with nothing else but neopetfurs. And there are more pleasant things to wear than neopetfurs. They stank.

Elf Girl: *leans closer to the other TLA'ers and whispers* Come on guys, you KNEW it was going to be like that. You've read the book before.

Arcala: We did, it still was frigging cold. And the furs still stank. It's a good thing I got a cold underway so I couldn't smell them anymore after a while.

GG: *sighs* Going on like this will get us nowhere. We've got to find a way to unite both the Noldorin hosts again. Where are all the other TLA'ers at the moment?

Elf Girl: Finrod, Maggie and her consorts are in Doriath I believe, Claedhros is in Morgoth's lair. I don't know here the rest is.

Eärniel: Claedhros is in Morgoth's lair? What is she doing there? We've got to get her out. Being around that Nelson guy is rather unsafe for us TLA. He might not know that we're here to stop him and I like to keep it that way.

Elf Girl: *thinks* I just had a cunning plan....

Miriam: Is it cunning?

Elf Girl: Very. Some of you can go and rescue Claedhros as an effort of goodwill to the Feanoreans. We might get the two hosts together again that way.

Eärniel: What's the cunning part of it?

Elf Girl: That I get to stay safely here.

Eärniel: I could have known....

[Claenoic]

Morgoth: *Leans back* Ah, this is the life, Urtica. Smiting Elves, living off the fat of the land, sparklies in my crown, and-

*From very near by*: THIS HURTS LIKE A VERY HOT PLAAAACE!!!

Urtica: ... A very annoying alarm clock. That won't turn off.

Morgoth: O.o.

[Tanoliel]

Tano and Katt: *blink in shock*
Tano: Erm....
Katt: That was interesting....
Tano: I think we'd better grab her anyway. The elves look really pissed...
Katt: Good. On three--one, two, three!
*They dash out, each grabbing Maggie by one arm, and pull her away*
Maggie: Wha--?
Tano: You're in big trouble...

[Willow Oran]

Katt: What were you thinking?!?!

Tano: You know those two are already taken! They both get married later on!

Maggie: Oops... Well, it was fun any way. Did you see the looks on their faces?

Katt: Yeah, that's why we stopped hiding and dragged you away from them.

Maggie: Oh. So... Who should I try next do you think?

Tano: Some one who never was and never will be married might be a good idea.

Maggie: Any suggestions?

[Willow Oran]

OOC: THis is Goldiegollum posting by the way.

GG: I'll go! *jumps up enthusiastically*

Elf Girl: erm... you wern't exactly what i had in mind...

GG: *drooping* but...

ELf Girl: You see... the cunning of the plan would be pointless if you went since you are not a follwer of either side.

GG: Oh. In that case...*looks around for a good climbing tree* you won't be needing me...*cannot find one, so she dashes off in search of a more suitable location*

OOC: This is Maggie again, I thought I should warn people, whoever takes the part of Fingon is likely to be ambushed and kissed in the near future. My apologies for any trauma that may result.

[Finrod Felagund]

OOC: Who's Thingol?

IC:

Finrod: So, uh, uncle Thingol, all the Noldor, (well most of us, some stayed back with my dad Finarfin,) are happily and harmoniously here now.

Thingol: Just in time, Morgoth was getting too strong...

Finrod: Uh...yes, that's why we came *cough cough*

[Earniel]

OOC: Thingol's a public character as far as I know.

IC: *Back in Noldorin Camp*
Elf Girl: Alright, who'll go?

Fingolfiana: Geez, I'd love to go. But you see I've got to lead my host, you see. Very demanding job. I can't be spared a second.

Elf Girl: Of course, that's understandable. Who else?

Miriam: *raises hand*Erm... I'm a psychiatrist, I'm only fit to rescue people from a seat.

Elf Girl: Good point. Besides you're here to learn more about the Silmarillion, can't have you dying before it ends.

Miriam: That's a relief...

Elf Girl: Who's next?

Arcala: Oh I'm really sorry but you'll have to count me out as well. You see, I really got to go and feed my bird.

Bird: But I've just ea.. *Arcala put her hand on it's beak*

Elf Girl: Oh I see. Well, I suppose that rules you out as well...

Eärniel: Uh-uh... my bad-feeling-about-this-alarm goes off...

Elf Girl:.. So that leaves only Eärniel...

Eärniel: Fne.

*And with that Eärniel's fate was sealed...*

Eärniel: Skip the dramatics! I've read the book! I'll be alright, won't I?

*ominous silence*

Eärniel: Bugrit. *sets off*

OOC: General anouncement: With this I am not, I repeat, I am NOT taking Fingon's place. I'm bringing him in later on. :p

[Arcala]

*Meanwhile...*

Arcala: You have not eaten, you big stupid foodbag. You are very hungry right now.

Hawk: I am?

Arcala: Of course you are! (to other TLA'ers) Don't listen to him. He's just delirious from lack of food. (to hawk) I've got chocolate. You want chocolate?

Other TLA'ers: Chocolate?

Arcala: Er...oops...

[Willow Oran]

OOC: You mean I don't get to traumatize you Earniel? :( :p

IC

*Meanwhile in Doriath...*

Random Elf with a Megaphone: All elves are warned to be on the look out for three very strange people, one of whom was caught doing unspeakable things to His Majesty's nephews. I repeat, these three are DANGEROUS! If seen they are to be aprehended immediately!

*Two of the three TLAers hiding in the bushes turn to glare at the third.*

Tano: This is all your fault.

Maggie: Wha- Don't blame ME, blame Miriam, it was her idea in the first place!

Katt: Uh... Guys? Methinks now would be a good time to go visit the camps of the Noldor ifyaknowwhatimean...

*there is a general pause*

Tano: Camps of the Noldor, right. Good plan.

Maggie: *grins evilly* More victims.

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Ok, this is Goldiegollum again,

IC:

*GG sprints and leaps away from the camps of the Noldor, looking for a suitable climbing tree. She finds one, and while she is in it, three others on thier way to the Noldor camps pass below*

GG: Hey! Hi down there! Ya heard of those three dangerous people we're supposed to be watching out for?

THREE: *exchange glances*

GG: I wonder what unspeakable things are. You think they could be more specific.

Maggie: *hesitantly* maybe...for these particular...things...it's a good thing they're not more specific.

Tano: yes.

Maggie: could you point us towards the nearest royal tents?

GG: *nievly* Certianly. Infact, i'll lead you to them.

Kat: *supresses laughter*

Maggie: *evil grin* thank you.

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Is she gullible, or does she just not know?
GG: Not know what?
Tano: *innocently* Oh, nothing...

ooc: DOGBERRY! WE ROCK! :D

[Earniel]

OOC: answer to Maggie's question: NOOOOO! :eek: :p But I'll deliver the real Fingon to you in due time... [evil :)]

IC:

*Since Eärniel couldn't come up with an excuse fast enough like the others, she's been sent as a volunteer to rescue Claedhros. All by lonely herself.*

Eärniel: *mutters* Rub it in....

*Just giving the readers a short summary. Besides Morgoth's fortress is that way.*

Eärniel:*testily* I knew that. *changes direction* I was just checking if you knew...

*Right. Suuure you- oh wait, I forget my job: Suddenly an Elf jumps out of the scenery on the path and points his sword to Eärniel.*

Elf: Who are you and why do you follow me?

Eärniel: AAAAH! Don't do that, you're turning me into a cardiac patient! Point that thing somewhere else!

Elf: Answer my questions!

Eärniel: IamEärnielandI'msentouttogoandrescueClaedhros Iwasn'tfollowinganyonepleasdon'tkillme!

Elf: *glares* I see, stealing my part, eh?

Eärniel: *confused* Wha?

OOC: Got to go. I'll finish it later..

[Claenoic]

*The pain in Claedhros's head had lessened... somewhat, but she wasn't going to give up driving Morgoth and Urtica up the wall without a fight.

So, she resorted to singing catchy French Songs.*


Claedhros: SALUT, BONJOUR ET SUAVUT SARIE, SALUT, BONSOI...

[Willow Oran]

OOC: I would just like to say that the following post was all Eruviel's idea and is her reward for kissing my deranged bat character in the Quest for the Holy Wine. My deepest apologies to you Finrod, you are going to kill me.

IC

*And now for a random romantic interlude in Doriath. Let assume that Galadriel and Celeborn have begun to... Take an interest in eachother and that during this scene Big brother, (Finrod,) in taking some time to get to know his sister's new love interest.*

Finrod: Now Celeborn, I have nothing against you courting my sister but I think you should know, we noldor do things a little differently.

Celeborn: I'm well aware of that, but what specifics did you have in mind?

Finrod: Well, first there's the hair custom, the prospective suitor must have nice hair. No worries there.

Celeborn: Uh huh.

Finrod: And then theres the usual dancing standards, challenge standards and all that but there's one really important question that must be answered before any courtship can proceed and that question is: Is he worthy of her?

Celeborn: A reasonable question, how do you propose to answer it?

Finrod: There are many different ways of doing so but I've always thought that the best way to tell is this.

*So saying Finrod took Celeborn in his arms and kissed him passionately, and melodramitacally and so we leave them as they dissapear behind the couch like something out of a bad slash fic.*

OOC: Ending there, that would've been a lot easier to write if I had been drunk. Finrod, if you like you can continue this or you can have Galadriel find out and yell at them both.

[Earniel]

OOC: A good thing my Eärniel-character wasn't there to witness, she would have screamed for mind-bleech to get the imagine out. :p How DO you people come up with these things? You Seattle-people have twisted minds.... ;)

IC: *Back on the road to Morgoth's lair*

Elf: Oh, puh-lease! You know perfectly what. Here I was, being my heroic self, sneaking of to rescue my cousin from the very mouths of hell and then they send some some...silly neurotic chocoholic after me to get all the honour once I've succeeded.

Eärniel: Silly?! Neurotic!? You're right about the chocoholic but let me tell you something, Mr. rude narcisti... hang on.. Fingon?

Fingon: *sarcastically* Oh, she still remembers my name.

Eärniel: Well, excuse me! I never asked for this job. But since you're so dead set on keeping it, you can go rescue Claedhros all by your fancy self and I'll just go back to the camp where I'll be happy to stay fameless and very much in one piece. Thank you!

*Eärniel turns to walk away when Fingon suddenly janks her back on her collar.*

Eärniel: Hey! What gives?

Fingon: No, you won't. I do not trust you TLA much. On second thought, I think I take you with me on this rescue.*drags her along*

Eärniel: *whimpers and mutters something about rude Elves that are going to get it coming to them when they get back to the camp*

*As they near Morgoth's lair, they hear a strange noice.*

Fingon: What's that hideous sound?

Eärniel: That'd Claedhros, but you should try to sing in key when you're being hang up by your hair for several posts now.

[Claenoic]

*Meanwhile...

Claedhros has gone on to songs that didn't finish.

Observe.*

Claedhros: THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T EEEEEENNNDD, IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIIIIIEEEEENNNDDS, SOME PEOPLE, STARTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND THEY'LL CONTINUE SINGING IT FOREVER JUST BECAUSE THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T EEEEENNNDD...

*Earnial and the Elf have one easy job trying to find Claedhros...*

[Earniel]

Eärniel: Psssst! Claedhros!

Claedhros: THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T EEEEEENNNDD!!!

Eärniel: Hey, Claedhros!

Claedhros: IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIIIIIEEEEENNNDDS!!!

Eärniel: Claedhros, will you for the love of Varda's underwear JUST BLOODY WELL SHUT UP!?!

Claedhros: SOME PEOPLE, STA... eh? What?

Fingon: *hits Eärniel* Be quiet! Do you want to alert every orc, balrog and shady character to our presence here?

Eärniel: *hits him back* Stop doing that, they're all deaf by now anyway. And at least I got her attention, didn't I?

Claedhros: *looking down* Oh, hi Eärniel, hi Fingon. A good thing you guys passed by. My head hurts like hell, I was almost starting to wish somebody would just come and put me out of my misery.

Fingon: *sighs* If that is thy wish, cousin. I have no choice but to end thy suffering with my arrow. Manwë, please guide my hand! *raises bow and cocks arrow*

Eärniel: *pushes bow down* None of that, eager beaver! She said almost.

Claedhros: Darn right.

Fingon: Then how do you propose to get her free? We cannot reach her.

Eärniel: And how about the ladder, nitwit?

Fingon: What ladder?

Eärniel: The one standing against the wall, idiot. Really, do I have to do everything here?

*Fingon turns around and indeed, against the wall from where Claedhros is hung, stands a ladder. They put the ladder under Claedhros and since they can't release her hair, Fingon gives Claedhros a new haircut. Then the three of them escape to the Noldorin camp before anyone in Morgoth's lair pulls out his ear plugs and wonders why the prisoner has stopped singing.*

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: That kiss was also payment for me coming back and posting on this again. And it was really Maggie's fault, and I mean, she was talking about Finrod and Celeborn, and kissing, and I asked if they kissed each other, and was disappointed to hear that they didn't. I'm so twisted, yes, I know. But I thought they'd be so cute together! :D

Oh, and I should probably apologize for what I'm about to write. I'm coming in as a hyperactive demon girl who tries and usually fails to mess with plot, I hope that's okay.

ic:

Meanwhile, behind a fancy elvish sofa. . .

Finrod: Well, thank you, I now know you are...very...worthy...indeed. *catches his breath*
Celeborn: Why thank you. Er. Yes. *grins*
Finrod: Oh dear, now I have to let my sister have you. *pouts*
Celeborn: Well...yes, I was rather courting her, wasn't I?
Finrod: *looking sad* Yeah, you were...
Celeborn: Whatever shall we do...

And suddenly a very strange girl with brown hair in two braids with bits of stuff in them like beads and feathers and little mouse bones, and massively pointed, demonic looking ears, and horns, peers over the couch...well, starts to, then shields her eyes and backs away...

Demon Girl: Er...excuse me sirs, I just heard about your plight, I felt so sorry for you, I thought I'd offer a suggestion...
Finrod: *emerging from behind the sofa and covering himself with an urple blanket* Did you now?
Demon Girl: Well, yes. Celeborn, you keep couring Galadriel, but have nice "male bonding times" where you disappear off behind sofas with Finrod. Simple.
Celeborn: *looking over the sofa* Well, that would work except that I cannot be unfaithful to her!
Demon Girl: What's all this faithfulness stuff about anyway? *grin*
Finrod: I think she's got a point...
Demon Girl: *nods enthusiastically*
Celeborn: Yeah, you're right. Okay. Fair enough. By the way, who are you and what the hells are you doing messing with our plot and everything?
Demon Girl: I'm Elizabeth Morloth Greenfields. Call me Ellie. *curtsies*

Sort of OOC: It should be noted that Ellie is wearing a plaid skirt, bare feet, a black t-shirt with the sleeves cut off that has a skull and crossed bones on it and says "Kiss me, I'm a Pirate!" and she will be showing up sporadically to be very nachro indeed and poke things until they squeak.

[Claenoic]

Claedhros: *Looking at chopped hair* Sniff... sniff... WAAH!!!

Fingon: Oh, be silent! It was the only way to get you down before anyone would see us.

Claedhros: *Lip quivers* But... but...

Earniel: We'll give you chocolate later... and you're a Vala. Remember?

Claedhros: *Brightens* Oh yeah! I can use my Authoress powers to turn myself back into Claevire and bug Yavanna so I can get my hair back... ^^

[Earniel]

OOC: I'm not so sure whether Finrod is going to be pleased with what your twisted little minds came up with for him, but that's for him to say if he comes back.

IC:

Eärniel: Well, no I'm afraid.

Claenoic: What? No bugging Yavanna? *puppy look*

Eärniel: Er.. no. You see, we're banned from Valinor at the moment. The Valar won't help us, not even for some hair-extentions.

Claenoic: Rats.

Eärniel: But I heard Luthien is supposed to have a hair lenghtening spell and that would be good way to get your hair back.

Claenoic: Yay!

Eärniel: The problem is she isn't born yet.

Claenoic: Rats again.

Eärniel: But we'll see what we can do about that.

Fingon: There is the camp!

*They enter the camp and since they brought Claedhros back, they've managed to reconcile the two Elven hosts a little. However after Fingon paid some heavy bribe to the history scribe, he goes down in history as the only saviour of Claedhros. Eärniel was not amused and she stole all his chocolate.*

OOC: Maggie, Fingon is all yours. ;)

[Nazgûl Queen]

((OOC: SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!))

*Meanwhile, back at the ranch, jonno was walking his goldfish*

Morauko: Pardon?

*Sorry... meanwhile, back in the depths of middleearth, Finwe had woken from his trance and proposed to Melian. Changing his name to Thingol, he built a huge empire known as Doriath with triple-padlocked doors noone could enter. Unfortunately, he never remembered to close the windows.*

Morauko: Will you get on with it? I want to have a body again!!!!

*Alright, alright... anyway, after creating this huge kingdom and filling it with loyal elves, the King and Queen put their minds to business and set about creating the worlds first half-breed child. And soon enough, they gave birth to a little girl named Morien.*

Morauko: Took your time... *spirit gets sucked through the baby girls mouth as she cries and starts to cough*

*This little girl had all the beauty of her father's race, with long black hair and two sparkling blue eyes, and all who saw her knew that she was destined to be a rare beauty. Now, in order to look after her new baby, Melian called on her rights as a Maia and summoned three godmothers for her baby daughter*

Melian: *pacing through the edroom where Morien sleeps in the moonlight* Where ARE they? I sent out their invitations weeks ago, they should BE here by now!!!

Thingol: *cautiously* Ummm... maybe they've been held back by all that fighting of the Noldor? You know how they are..

Melian: I DON'T CARE!!!!!

*Thingol backs away*

Melian: I am one of the highest of the Maia, they should answer my every beck and call... *Morien starts to cry from the loud noises* ...will you shut her up?!

Thingol: Yes, dear... *wrapping Morien in a silver lanket, he quikly picks her up and takes her outside, rocking her in the moonlight near the river.* There there, Morien, don't cry... your mothers just a little stressed...

*voice from the castle is heard, screaming "NEXT TIME, I'M GETTING WIZARDS!!!!!!"*

((OOC: Oooh, what gifts should she get? Music, Beauty, and somthing else... ooh, and maybe an angry uninvited fairy could curse her to die for love, which is why she gets shut up... *ponders intertextuality*... I'm afraid all my new english knowledge is making this a lot harder ;)))

[Tanoliel]

*Meanwhile, outside the castle, three people are standing*

Tano: Come on, guys....let's go in!

Maggie: We ought to look presentable, though...

Katt: Pffft.

Maggie: No, really...they'll kick us out if we don't look right, and we don't want that.

Tano: Oh, huh...

Katt: Good point. Let's see...Narrator!

*What now?*

Tano: We want you to make us look like more or less proper fairy godmothers.

Katt: Proper?!

Tano: Scratch that. Make us look so they won't kick us out--rather than like we've been tramping through woods and snow and mud for three weeks.

*Why should I?*

Tano: *smiles evilly* Because....I know your secret.

*My what?*

Tano: Your secret...the one you thought no one else knew. I know it. And I'll tell everyone I know, and everyone I don't know, if--

*OKAY! Here--*

*And the three were suddenly clean and dressed in elven clothes, looking like the godmothers they were about to become.

Tano: Heh. Let's go in.

Maggie: *whispers* What's the secret?

Tano: *winks at both* I can't tell.

Katt: Oh...

Tano: I can't believe it's that gullible...heh.

*They enter the castle....*

ooc: Someone else can write the rest...only let me give the baby my gift, please! :D

[Willow Oran]

*Once inside the thousand caves... the prospective godmothers are gushing over the adorableness of the newborn Morien and thinking of nice gifts to give her.*

Maggie: *leaning over Morien and smiling cheerily* Aren't you just the cutest little... girl in Middle Earth? Yes you are! You're going to grow up the prettiest little elf in the world and you'll find a nice man to marry and he'll do absolutely anything for you and you'll stay faithful to eachother no matter what! Yes you will you little sweetheart you...

*Sadly, hidden in all that sickening gushiness was a slip of the tounge that would later prove fatal. Men not being invented yet nobody noticed that it had been decreed that Morien would marry a nice Man.*

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

*Quite suddenly, Ellie bursts into the room with the Godmothers*

Ellie: Ooh, Maggie, bad move. That's going to cause some problems later on in the plot.
Maggie: Well, that's the idea, isn't it? Plot. Making plot. With complications.
Ellie: Yeah, but you could have saved Middle Earth a lot of trouble if you said she'd marry a nice elf. . .
Maggie: Yeah, but that's the STORY! Who are you, bursting in here like this anyway?
Melian: Good question. I want to know too. You look like a hellfiend from Morgoth!
Ellie: *shrugs, looking hurt* I was just trying to help. . .
Melian: Answer the question!
Ellie: *pouting* I'm a Plot Demon. I'm just doing my job.

[Nazgûl Queen]

Thingol: *greeting the godmothers* I'm so glad you're here, my wife's been frantic... I'll just take you up to her, shall I?

*unfortunately, at that moment, Maggie uttered her fateful words*

Thingol: *frowning* What's a man? How can I look after my baby? And what's SHE doing here?! *glaring at Ellie*

Ellie: I already said, I'm a plot demon. You want the plot to flow, don't you?

Thingol: Plot?

Melian: *voice echoes from upstairs* WHERE ARE THEY?!!!

Thingol: Erm.... I think you'd better see my wife...

*grabbing Morien back, who was smiling happily while the spirit inside her grumbled at her inability to talk, he led the fairy godmothers and Ellie up the stairs and knocked on the door.*

Thingol: Erm... Melian...

Melian: WHAT?!

Thingol: I've brought the fairy godmothers to see you....

Melian: Took them long enough! *muttering is heard as she ushers the godmothers into the room and to their seats.* Hmmm... we have one extra... still, sit down, tell me why you were late, and hurry up and bless my child!

Thingol: *tentatively* I think you should do what she wsays... trust me, you don't want to see her when she's angry...

*the godmothers gulp*

Ellie: Actually...

Tano: Well...

Maggie: Weaccidentallyblessedhertomarryaman

Melian: A WHAT?! *being a Maia, she knew very well what men would bed, and knew that this was not going to bode well for her daughter*

Tano: She didn't mean it, honest!!!!

Melian: Hmmm... i guess we're just going to have to keep her inside and forbid men from entering here... yes... that will protect her, won't it darling? *tickles Morien, who giggles*

Thingol: Ummm, Melian... the blessings?

Melian: Oh yes. Hurry up and bless her, before I have you all spiflicated for your unpunctuality and terrible curse.

Tano: *whispers to Katt* What's spiflication?

Katt: *whispers back* I don't know... but it sounds painful... surely Melian wasn't this angry in the real book?

Tano: *whispers back* Tolkien forgot that someone eternally young is eternally PMSing.

Katt: *look of understanding* Ahhhh... i see... poor Thingol. Think we should help him?

Tano: Naaaa... i'm just here for the clothes!

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: I'm actually more likely to interfere with plot and make stories much much shorter and happier ;)

ic:

Ellie turns to Tano and Katt
Ellie: May I suggest some more benign wishes?
*Tano and Katt glare*
Ellie: Well, just trying to make her life happier. . .I can see I'm not wanted here. . .I'll just be going now . . .*Ellie--who is, just for the record, currently wearing black and neon green striped tights with her plaid skirt--does a demon-y jump up into the rafters (if there are rafters...) and disappears*

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Humph. Let's see now...*rolls up the sleeves of her godmother clothes and coughs slightly* Ahem. I bless this child to have absolutely, completely, utterly, totally, definitevely--

Melian: *coughs loudly*

Tano: *glares, and continues doggedly* --unconditionally, and unquestionably, the best singing and dancing talent of any elf around. So there. *crosses her arms and glares at Melian*

ooc: I have a wonderful image of Luthien on Broadway...or in Chicago or something...:)

[Finrod Felagund]

OOC: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I GO AWAY TO CAMP FOR A WEEK AND POOR FF IS GAY!


ic:

Finrod: Ahem...*slaps himself repeatedly, hits himself in the head with a lamp, irons his hands etc.*
I am In love with AMArie, hello...oh, the cell phone lure has already taken hold!

*random elf runs in whispers in his ear*

Finrod: What? Not for an entire age yet? Oh...

*Random elf runs out*

Finrod: I am in love with Amarie, burt the hand of Morgoth reaches far. Forgive me Amarie, Galadriel...Celeborn. By the way, you are definitely worthy of my sister! Just, well, take it slow. WAIT TILL YOU'RE MARRIED! OR I'LL KILL YOU! Ahem...okay, thanks...I guess...Ellie...bye.

*Runs away very fast shaking head*


OOC: (See, his nervous breakdown leading to his transformation into Finrollum has already begun.)
BTW, I HATE YOU ALL! But not for real...just a little...maybe...

[Christiana]

*Fingolfiana pops into the baby room in a shower of smoke*
Tano: Howd you get here?Youre not a wizard.
Fingolfiana:I have my ways.*chuks smoke bomb through "mysterious" hole in the roof*And i bestow upon this maiden the gift of_*at this moment she trips and falls on her face*she mutters: Drat! Chocolalism! Its catching up to me again!

*and so the baby was doomed to become a chocohalic*

[Nazgûl Queen]

*Thingol and Melian smiled happily as their daughter was blessed with musical talent and started to hum*

Morauko: *mentally* Now this is a gift I'm gonna enjoy.

*Then, fingolfiana arrive and blessed the little one*

Thingol: I hope you'll fix that! *looking up at the hole in his nice roof*

Melian: Awww... chocaholism... whats that?

Morauko: *mentally* Oh no...

Fingolfiana: Oh, it means you're addicted to chocolate?

Melian: What's that?

*the godparents look at each other*

Tano: Oh, you'll see... just wait until she grows up.

Morauko: *mentally* You mean I have to wait?!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Please bear with me as I give a gift of something. I have no idea who this creature is or what I should give her. I'm probabally going to get a smack from the plot demon.

Katt: I guess that leaves me. *mutters* How did I get into this? I don't even like baby's! No sane person would make me godmother of an elf! *coughs* Ahem. I give you the gift of insanity, on a minor scale.

Tano: Katt! What're you doing?!?

Katt: Hey, don't tell me what to give her. It is said that ninety nine out of one hundered insane ideas are bad. Her's will be the one good one. Her insanity will change the world. So there. thptt. Are there any scones around?

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Um...yeah. Here. *hands Katt a random scone*

Melian: No one's answered my question!

Tano: Which--oh, yes, of course you have to wait. She's a baby.

Melian: Not that one. What's...chocolate?

*Tano, Katt and Willow share a long look*

Tano: One moment please. *pulls the other two aside* Listen...I really don't like to cross Melian or anything, but technically chocolate shouldn't even exist.

Katt: You made it.

Tano: Heh...right.

Willow: We might as well. I mean, Melian's insane anyway...

Tano: Good point. Oh, what the hell. *turns back to Melian* THIS is chocolate. *pulls a piece out of her pocket and offers it*

Melian: *takes it and eyes it suspiciously* Cho-co-late? Hmmm...

Willlow: It's good. Really.

Melian: *takes a bite*

....


ooc: I'll let someone else write her reaction. :)

ooc: Fingolfiana--a question and a request--first, how did you get here, and why are you blessing the baby? I thought you were miles away with troops. Eh?
Secondly, I would really appreciate it if you would check your posts before posting them--I'm not trying to rag on you or make your spelling perfect or anything, it's just disconcerting when four words run together and there's a big :D in the middle of a sentence by accident. Thanks.

[Claenoic]

Melian: *Takes a good sized bite, and chews slowly. A slow, but marked change comes to her demeanor.*

*Suddenly, huge purple ducks appear and Thingol's ears turn to... cheese?*

Tano: Oh crap...

Maggie: We should've expected this... she is a Maia, after all. -_-;

[Earniel]

*Enter Claedhros and Eärniel. Bickering and carying gifts for the newborn*

Eärniel: Bugrit, we're late, the kid's already born.
Thingol: *pulls his crown down to hide his cheesy ears* And who would you be?
Claedhros: *not paying attention to him and still talking to Eärniel* We're late indeed, all the rest is already here. I told you, your shortcuts are no good.
Eärniel: It would have been good if that darn Girdle of Melian hadn't been in place. It's not like there was a roadsign saying "Girdle of Melian 100m ahead."
Thingol: Excuse me...
Claedhros: But you knew it would be there.
Thingol: WHY ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE WALKING THROUGH MY HALL AND WHY ARE THEY ALL IGNORING ME?!

*Eärniel and Claenoic stop bickering and look at him*

Eärniel: Why do you have cheesy ears?
Thingol: *moans and pulls his crown lower* That's it! The final straw! This is the last party I ever give for a baby of mine.

*And this is the reason why Morauthien remained his only child.*

Eärniel: Are you the father of the newborn then? My condolenses.
Claedhros:*elbows Eärniel* You're not supposed to say that when a child is born. You should congratulate him.
Eärniel: What? With all the trouble he's going to have with her? I'm not that cruel.

*But however cheesy Thingol's ears may be, they're still in working order. And after hearing Eärniel's prediction the Sindarin King goes of in search of some aspirine, leaving his chocolate-high wife to deal with the TLA.*

Maggie: What are you two doing here? Come to bless the child? I'll warn you that proper blessings should only be given by licenced godmothers. We'll get trouble with the union if otherwise.
Eärniel: No, we're not here for that. Claedhros here had a bad hair day. And since...
Claedhros: *sobs* My hair! *runs to Morauthien's crib* She's still a baby! How is she supposed to give me my hair back?
Tano: *shrugs*Wait until she's grown up?
Claedhros: That takes ages for sure! I want my hair back and I want it now!Now, now, now!
Maggie: Perhaps we can.. uh.. speed up time one way or the other...
Morauthien: *mentally* Perhaps not such a bad idea, the prospect of diapers is scary when you're concious enough to be aware of it.

OOC: I'll leave the decision to do or don't to somebody else.

[Finrod Felagund]

Finrod runs in, obviously over his encounter with Celeborn.

Finrod: Look! I brought the puppy a chew toy, it squeaks! *he holds up plastic palrog and it squeaks.*

*Melian looks angry*

Thingol: Dear nephew...ahem...it's not a puppy, it's a baby...

Finrod: Oh...okay! *Brightens. He reaches into his pack and puls out a very colourful blanket/cloak thingie.*

Finrod: Its the "Amazing Technicolor Dream Blanket/cloak thingie"!

*Flashes a debonaire smile towards everyone standing there. They all stare. He frowns then pulls out a starchart*

Finrod: Here, I had a star named after her.

Orodreth: WHAT!?! But I could never...

Finrod: Varda always liked me better than you brother.

*Everyone stares. Finrod frowns and the pulls out a little plastic figure*

Finrod: Here! *Everyone looks*

Melian: Who...or what...is it?

Finrod: It's Strongbad of Homestarrunner.com...darn advertising .

*Everyone cheers*
*Finrod Bows and with a flourish of his cape turnes to leave. But first he puts the Amazing Technicolor blanket/cloak thingie over the sleeping baby and then leaves...for real this time.*

[Christiana]

[/B][/QUOTE]
ooc: Fingolfiana--a question and a request--first, how did you get here, and why are you blessing the baby? I thought you were miles away with troops. Eh?
[/B][/QUOTE]

NO!!!!!!!!!!!! We cant have logic in this story! quick, someone feed her some chocolate!

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Logic is good, without logic there is no humor, there is only pointless rambling, please do not post pointless rambling. Keep in line with the story. Even parodies need plots.

And now to restore logic... and the plot.

Maggie: *looking around the room at the gathered people* Right, this is all wrong. Fingolfiana, get back with the troops! Finrod, the buisness with Celeborn was all a really bad dream, he's off courting your sister as he should be. Go chaperone them! Elwe, your ears are normal, Melian, be sane! Orodreth, go to wherever it is you're suppose to be, the only people in this room should be the parents, the newlyborn and the fairy godmothers! NOW MOVE!

*And with that all is as it should be though the amazing technicolor baby blanket remains for some inexplicable reason.*

Melian: Er... yes, well, thank you for your... kind blessings.

Elwe: Yes, thank you. I'm sure you're all very busy. You may all go now.

*He and Melian leave*

Katt: Finally, com'n we've got questing to do!

Tano: Right, questing, let's get moving. Who were you going to traumatize next Maggie?

Maggie: Fingon, but first I want to stop and check the script.

Katt: There's a script?

Tano: Of course there's a script, there's always a script. What's it say?

Maggie: Well, Claedhros was just rescued and Morauthien born so... *she flips through the script looking for their place* Erm, we seem to have skipped some stuff and the timelines a little muzzy but I think we've come to the Mereth Aderthad, the feast of Reuniting.

Tano: The what? It's a big feast hosted by Fingolfiana, it's held near the head of the Narog and everyone comes.

Katt: Define 'everyone'.

Maggie: Well, according to the script, 'many of the chieftains and people of Fingolfiana and Finrod. Claedhros and Maglor. A whole bunch of the Grey elves. Cirdan and his people. Some Green elves of Ossiriand and Mablung and Daeron from Doriath.'

Tano: Sounds like a good place to reconvine and straighten things out.

Katt: Shall we go plant the plot in Fingolfiana's mind?

Maggie: I do believe we shall.

[Tanoliel]

So the three set off, and traveled, and quested, and twisted the plot ever so slightly so they wouldn't be questing so long they missed the feast--and then they were there. They looked about for Fingolfiana, and were slightly...sidetracked.

Tano: Look...at all this...food...

Katt: I've never seen anything so....foody.

Maggie: We really ought to find Fingo....is that what I think it is?

Tano: If you think it is what I think it is, then I think you want it as much as I think I do.

Katt: What?

Tano: Nevermind. Let's just eat.

They loaded up on the amazing food, and thus armed, went in search of Fingolfiana.

Tano: I fink fa--*chews rapidly, and swallows, and tries again* I think that's her over there.

Katt: The one in the big pointy yellow hat?

Maggie: Umm...

Tano: No, no...the one next to the pointy yellow hat. Wait. Who's yellow? Gandalf's grey, I know there's a couple blues...

Maggie: Nevermind now. Come on.


ooc: I agree with Maggie--there needs to be some kind of logic--it's not fun for everyone if anyone can be anywhere and do whatever they want, if they're involved in the storyline, see? It makes it flow and lets us be silly more.
Maggie and Katt--I forgot utterly what we're supposed to say--one of you can finish this scene. It's late. I'm forgetful.

[Willow Oran]

OOC: We were going to tell her to hold a feast, but it would appear that we already did so.... We'll just have to tell her something else.

Maggie: *sneaking up behind Fingolfiana* Psst! Hey, you know everyone's sort of confused right now, it would be a really good idea to hold a meeting or two with the rest of the TLA and figure out what the plot is so the confusion goes away. Don't you think?

Fingolfiana: *in a daze* Must call counsel of TLA... *she wanders off to do so.

Maggie: *pleased* Well, can't get much clearer than that, can it?

Tano: *joining her from where she delivered the same message to Earniel* Nope, I don't think so.

Katt: *likewise joining them* You'd have to be really dense to misunderstand that. Shall we go join the counsel that is hopefully being gathered?

Tano: That would probably be a good idea.

Maggie: Yeah, the others need to be told where we are in the script.

[Earniel]

*Eärniel had reached the place of the TLA-meeting. It was a large tent and before it stood a hastily painted sign saying "TLA-meeting". Having found what she was looking for, she entered.*

Eärniel: *sighs happily* Ah... this brings back memories from the first days of the TLA...

Miriam: Rather nightmares, you can say. *remembers the first time the TLA entered in her office and shudders*

Eärniel: The rest is coming, I hope?

Miriam: *shrugs* Should be.

[Nazgûl Queen]

Morauko: *mentally* TLA? Counsel? I wanna go!!!

*unfortunately, she's a baby, so...*

Morauthien: *cries and bashes fists against crib*

Thingol: *picks her up* Calm down, Mory, what's wrong?

Melian: I think she's hungry.

Morauko: *mentally* Stupid infantness...

[Finrod Felagund]

*Finrod walks by the tent*

Finrod: What the heck is TLA? Oh well...

*he keeps walking, not realizing that these 'TLAers' will change his life*

[Willow Oran]

*suddenly the three plotters join Earniel and Miriam in the tent*

Tano: Is this it? I could've sworn we had more people than this...

Maggie: A few of them probably couldn't make it. We'll wait a bit more and see, I'm sure there's more than five of us.

Miriam: It certainly seem like more than five when you were dragging me to Rivendell, where is everyone?

Katt: Probably didn't realize we were having a meeting, I can fix that.

*she does something and the rest of the TLA appears in the tent. She does another thing and everyone is suddenly seated around a large table.*

Maggie: Thank you Katt. As you all have noticed things have been really confusing for the past millenia or so, what with creating the world and the kinslaying and all that. So now that we've got that done with and we're all calmed done a bit we can start paying attention to the real reasons we're here, to teach Miriam elvish history, to make sure Mr. Nelson, (you do all remember him, yes?) doesn't mess things up, and to attend to personal buisness, such as getting real bodies back, if nessecary. Remember most of the stories in here are tradgadies unlike the other bits of history we've er... participated in. We'll have to take this quest thingy one tale at a time.

OOC: There's my opening spiel, someone continue. And keep it logical, what we decide here is what we're going to try to do and we want it to work.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Katt: Well, I don't know much about the plot. I am the ideal person to spy on Mr. Nelson, being Morgoth's evil minion and all. But, does anyone know when I'm supposed to make the Cell Phones?

[Claenoic]

Claenoic: *Leans back* Hmm. Due to the fact that I've only read the Sil twice, I have no earthly clue when the cell phones were supposed to be created. I think near the beginning or the middle of the Third age. Somewhere around that spot, anyhoo.

OOC: Anyone want to contradict me there?

[Finrod Felagund]

OOC: Actually, it was more, mid second age, which ended when Sauron was defeated and his ring cut off!

[Tanoliel]

ooc: Finrod? Are you at the meeting? Cause if you are don't bother oocing, contradict her properly. :) If not, ignore me...

Tano: I believe it was more second age...but really, Katt, go ahead whenever.

Maggie: We don't want to mess up time...

Tano: *shrugs* Nah. Time's resilient. It'll be okay.

[Willow Oran]

Maggie: Right, maybe it'll be better if you just focus on the main events and... ah... cheat a bit during the less important ones, by say skipping to the next part that concerns us. I know we can. Is that alright will everyone?

Everyone: *various nods and replies to the positive*

Maggie: Good. Now, there is a feast and multitudes of elves to enjoy out there. Go party and be joyful for with the ending of this feasting the stories shall start and we shall need to concentrate on our goals. And speaking of goals... Miriam, I fear that you can no longer be an observer only and as with the first quest you shall have to take part. Thus I command you to spend these ages in attempts to retreive the Sillymarils and to swear the Oath that was first taken by Feanor and his offspring. Swear it and we shall be witness.

Miriam: *overtaken by the temporary insanity required to swear this sort of oath* I shall do everything in my power to retreive the Sillymarils and those who withhold them from me will suffer whether they be evil thingy or otherwise, none shall be spared if they have a Sillymaril and do not return it freely!

*And having established Miriam's place in the tale. The TLA dispersed and went out and partied, knowing that with the coming of the dawn they would be thrust into some of the most turbulent and world changing events in all of Arda's history.*

OOC: See the disscusion thread for what should follow.

[Tanoliel]

Tanoliel: *glances up at narration above* I have this big huge feeling of doom coming down upon me...

Maggie: It's a big job...

Katt: But we're at a party!

Tano: *grins* Good point. Come on! *grabs Katt and Maggie and drags them into the midst of the party*

[Earniel]

*As the sun slowly creeps over the hills, the party has come to an end. Mainly because by now everyone is drunk, asleep or passed out and in some cases all three at once. Elves from Valinor know how to throw a party, it's hangovers they've got a little problem with.*

Eärniel: *lying on the ground between many empty wrappings of chocolate bars* Ugh... will you keep the noice down, narrator? I'm trying to sleep here.

*And I'm trying to do my job.*

Eärniel:*still half-asleep* Then do it else where.

*But what about being thrust into some of the most turbulent and world changing events in all of Arda's history as I said yesterday?

Eärniel: Can't it wait until tomorrow?

*It IS tomorrow.*

Eärniel: There's always another day tomorrow. Grrrrrzzzzzzzzz....

*Heavy sigh.*

*I'll just continue by myself then: As silence decends above the Elven camp with many passed out Elves and TLA-ers, a faint unelvish music drifts closer from between the trees. Finrod is the only one who awakes from it and decides to check it out.*

Finrod: Grrrzzzzzzzzz.....

*.......*

*Suddenly Finrod gets kicked by an invisible foot*

Finrod: What-what? Who? Why?

*Ahum, I said: As silence decends above the Elven camp with many passed out Elves and TLA-ers, a faint unelvish music drifts closer from between the trees. Finrod is the only one who awakes from it and decides to check it out.*

Finrod: I did? I mean I do?

*YES. Now get going, you silly Elf!*

Finrod: Fine, fine... no need to get excited...*goes off to check out strange unelvish music*

[Christiana]

*Fingolfiana has onelarge hangover*

FG:sthop sthouting...(passes out)

[Finrod Felagund]

*Finrod slinked...slanked...slunk...ummm...Finrod didst slink through the tree towards the strange music to where he saw many elf shaped creatures but-*

Finrod: Their ears are round!

*He waited until they went to sleep, and then went and sat by the fire in the middle of their camp. Then he pulled out his kazoo and proceeded to sing a haunting tune*

Finrod:
The cold hard lands
they bites our hands,
they gnaws our feet.
The rocks and stones
are like old bones
all bare of meat.
But stream and pool
is wet and cool:
so nice for feet!
And now we wish
To catch a fish
So juicy sweet.

And now we wish
To catch a fish
So juicy sweet.


*the elf-likes had awakened and looked upon Finrod in wonder.
and named him Goldielocks for he had golden hair.
Then they spoke at length and they decided that they liked this elf lord. And he learned that they were the First house of the Edain, Beor was their leader and there were two other houses following. And Beor swore to serve the music maker and he did...and thee was much rejoicing. And Beor and his people came to the remnants of the party, and were introduced to the elves, and there was much rejoicing.*

[goldiegollum]

GG: * jumps up and sings in an annoyingly opera-like voice while macrhing jubiantly* re-joice! re-joice! re- jo-o-o-o-oice great-ly! re-jo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oice! OH! Da-augh-ter of Z-

Elves& TLAers: Wuzza huh? *grumble grumble*

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *reaches out and snatches GG's collar, pulling her behind a tree* Wait...

GG: But I wanna sing...

Tano: I know. But wait--we can't scare them off yet, this is a very important moment in history--

GG: *critically* It doesn't look like one.

Tano: *pauses, and looks about* No. You're right. It doesn't. Nevertheless, it is...*sighs* You can sing in...I dunno. An hour. Give 'em time to settle in, ay?

[Claenoic]

*As the men spread out, slowly taking in their surroundings, one of the more inquisitive men peered questioningly at the only elf who was still asleep...*

Claedhros: *Had a bigger hangover than the rest.* Zzzzzzzz...

*And all who noticed rejoiced. Well, and tried to wake her up, the men deserved more of a greeting than that...*

[Earniel]

*So Elves encountered Men and they were all quite impressed with eachother. And after all the necesary rejoicing and feasting the Men thought it was a good way of having more fun if they joined in the Elves' war against Morgoth and Ulrica. Which shows that the Second Born still had a LOT to learn...*

Eärniel: We have a war going?

*YES*

Eärniel: Oh, sorry. I forgot all about it with all the feasting and rejoicing.

*Morgoth, however, had not forgotten. And while the Elves and TLA had been bickering, munching chocolate, feasting, rejoicing, blessing babies, meeting mortals and generally wasting loads of time, Morgoth had laboured hard under Ulrica's constant nagging.

Now Morgoth wanted to show Ulrica that he still was the Big Dark Lord that made all of Middle-earth tremble and made the other Valar hang on to their underwear. He was also slightly hurt that Men had allied themselves with the Elves instead of him. Even dark Valar have feelings.*

Morgoth: *standing on a tower of his fortress* Damn right, I have. I'll show them! I'll send out flames and fire from the Thangorodrim down on the Elves and Men! I will pour smoke and stench over their fields and houses! I will burn their chocolate! Mwahahah! Who's the Dark Lord now, eh?!

Ulrica: *from within the fortress* Morgie, button up your shirt, you'll catch a cold!

Morgoth: *sighs* Yes dear....

*So the party of the Elves and TLA was seriously crashed. They were not amused. But they were driven away by Morgoth's forces and they had to run for dear life and chocolate.*

Morgoth: Bwahahah! See them run! Wheeee! *does a happy dance*

Ulrica: Morgie, stop that at once! It looks so silly in front of the minions!

Morgoth: Yes, dear. *mutters* What's the use of being the Dark Lord when you can't even have a little fun?

*And thus began the fourth of the great battles, the Dagor Bragollach, the Battle of the Sudden Flame. But Morgoth attacked too soon....For if he had held back a little longer, all this rejoicing would have given the TLA a permanent hangover and chocolate shortage. Then victory would have been easy, but now his opponents still could put up a bit of a fight.*

Morgoth: *mumbles* NOW he tells me....

*It's my job. I'm a narrator, not a preview.*

[Willow Oran]

*And though the forces of Morgoth had managed to break through in many places, still many of the elven strongholds remained untaken. But Angrod and Aegnor were slain and the sons of Feanor scattered and the realm of Dorthonion conquered. When Fingolfian heard this she saw ruin and despair and prepared to ride out alone, and so great was her rage with Morgoth that none could stop her, though they tried...*

Maggie: You can't go out there alone! It's sucide!

Katt: Oh let her go, you know it has to happen.

Earniel: Maybe it doesn't... Come Fingolfiana, we'll give you chocolate.

Fingolfiana: *Momentarily coming out of her madness* Chocolate?

Maggie: Yes, that's right yummy chocolate. Just, come down from the horse, and we'll get you to bed after a nice cup of hot cocoa. Doesn't that sound better than a nasty fatal duel with a dark lord?

Fingolfiana: *snaps back into a rage at the mention of Morgoth* No! Morgoth must die! *and with that she left, nearly running over the other three in her haste.*

Katt: Told you so.

Earniel: Oh be quiet and come help us figure out how to tell the elves their High King just went out and got smashed by Morgoth.

Maggie: I hate explanations like those.

[Christiana]

Fingoliana, meanwhile, wasnt happy
*mutters*"well its not like i really have to DIE, I can always come back later...

And so, Fingoliana rode to Morogoth's fortress, where she challenged him to a duel.
Morogoth:not now, I need to sleep.
Ulrica: MORGIE!
M:Um. Sure.
*So Fingoliana perished, but not before she had hurt him so greiveously that he would forever more be doomed to a buzz cut and seven missing teeth.As a result, he no longer brushed, and so his breath became extreamely foul*


:) Meanwhile....
*A random elf trots up to Earniel.*
Christiana: Helllo. What did I miss, and where is the chocolate and the mirovour?

:D :D :D

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *peers at random elf* Dude. She looks kinda like the suicidal guy.

Katt: Ya don't think.

Tano: Weird...yeah. Hey elfie person--the chocolate's over there.

Christiana: Thanks!

Tano: Yeah. Definetely weird. *shrugs* Oh well...

[Finrod Felagund]

Finrod: *weeps* auntie Fingolfiana

[goldiegollum]

GG:ooooh! someone died? r'we gunna have a funeral? c'n I sing the song?

Tano:Somehow, i don't think your song would be quite...apropriate for the ocasion.

GG: Sure it would. *sings solomnly*

What do you do with a suicidal elf lord?
What do you do with a suicidal elf lord?
What do you do with a suicidal elf lord
Who got herself squashed by Morogoth?

Finrod: *looks at her approvingly* That's almost as good as my song.

GG: *smiles proudly*

FInrod: Almost. However, the funeral is already taken care of, so i'm afraid your song's a little late.

GG: *crestfallen* oh. *slumps off*

[Earniel]

*The mood under the TLA was sort of sad after Fingolfiana's funeral, or better, the funeral of what was left of Fingolfiana.*

Willow: Well, we can't say we didn't try to stop her....

Katt: True, not even chocolate could hold her back. And when that doesn't help anymore, there's no point in trying.

Eärniel: But guys, don't we have a little bit of a problem now? After all she was a member of the TLA. She was with us when we defeated the Smaugettes - or when we will beat the Smaugettes - with us being now back into the past and all... Don't we have a slight continuity problem now?

GG: *scratches head* Dunno, didn't think of it that way. Is she really dead?

Finrod: Rest assured, we burried her. No one can be spread in that many pieces and still be alive.

Eärniel: Ew.

Christiana: *smiling* Relax guys, it's not as bad as you think.

Claedhros: That's what you say. But hey, don't I know you from somewhere? You look oddly familiar, a bit like shish-kebab Fingolfiana.

Christiana: *still smiling* The reports about my supposed death are greatly exaggerated...

*silence*

*all stare*

Christiana: Doesn't ring a bell?

*crickets*

Christiana: *sigh* I was Fingolfiana remember? Eru gave me a new body, he said I wasn't getting that easily of the hook. Whatever that means....

Eärniel: You mean, you aren't dead?

Christiana: 10 points for the most obvious statement.

*The TLA wanted to throw a party for this great news, however they had spend the better part of their budget on the special effects of the war and they were forced to continue to the next chapter without even as much as a bathroom break.*

[Nazgûl Queen]

Meanwhile, a young boy from the house of Beor observed the TLA in action and decided that anywhere in Middleearth would be better than being among these psychos. Thus saying, he left a note for his Dad and ran off in a search for sane people.

Dear Dad,

Thanks for raising me, but i think grandaddy's getting senile. These elf-creatures are not to be trusted. So I'm going searching for the men down south who had the sense to stay apart. Wish me luck!

With him he took the ring given his father by Felagund, having always been a kleptomaniac, and the nicest sword in the armory so he could fight off any annoying elves. Making his way south through lands known to be terrible but didn't seem so bad to him, he found his way into a hidden city that seemed safe from the evil elves.

Unfortunately for him, he was in a city of elves. And elves don't like intruders.

(OOC: Fighting Morgoth, running away from TLAers... same dif. Poor guy, he doesn't know what he's in for!)

[Christiana]

Christiana: but i have to go!

*thats what trees are for*
Christiana:ewww the disgusting

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: "Christiana: *still smiling* The reports about my supposed death are greatly exaggerated..." ST: TNG right? Picard almost dies getting his artificial heart fixed and Polaski saves him. I didn't really like Polaski. I got it though!