What do ya think bout this?

[Reumandar]

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/50reasons.html

tell me what do you all think of this?
I put it this in this Forum thinger because obviesly(spl?) he meant the movie

[Falagar]

He haven't read the books, that much is clear...

Edit: Now that I've read some more of it, I think it's a joke...If not ment to be...

[Blackboar]

Great firebeast thing!

IT WAS A BALROG!!!!

Totally clear they havnt read the books!

Look at number12!

The nazgul wernt even stabbing Frodo are the rest of them!!!
They were stabbing beds that they would have been in if they wern't with Aragorn!!!!

And number 17:Rings do not turn you invisible

Duh! It was the One Ring, the Ring of Sauron, A magic ring!!!!


And number 23!
Why would they put a picture on the video of them going to the loo!!

25. Elves GAY!!! Get a life!

26. People can view elves differently and Jackson was looking at Tolkiens point of view!!! Not Santas or Rowlings!!!

36. Elrond!! Agent Smith in the Matrix!! Geez!!

40. Yes you need the bit in the mine!!!! And loads of good movies are over 2 hours long!!!

48. GRRRRR!

49. Why would you want the music too be FuNKY in LotR!!!

--------------------------------

I guess people are allowed to have their own opinions!!

[claudia silver]

Please tell me it's a joke.............................................. ...............

Thanks for the birthday greetings, I am not having anymore as it's getting embarassing :(

[Varda Oiolosseo]

He HAS GOT to be Joking! He has got to have made them up!

What was that about "The human member of their party is played by two different actors at different points of the movie" Thats a load of rubbish! Unless he couldn't tell the difference between Aragorn and Boromis and realise that they were two different characters!!

Some people...I don't know! :rolleyes:

[Falagar]

I thought it was a sick joke too...until I read this (http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/lotrapology.html) and this (http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/twotowers.html)

[Khadrane]

I am still clinging to a thread of hope that this is a joke. It HAS to be. I mean, could anyone be that stupid?

[Wayfarer]

*/Rolling on the floor laughing.

That was hilarious!

The mutated muscular soldiers of Mordor turned out to be hilariously ineffective soldiers, a dozen of them held off by a single dying human. Apparently they made the beasts by crossing Orcs, Goblins and the French. Even with all that walking and light eating, the character of Sam only got fatter. As bad as the Lucasfilm leaks were last year, the filmmakers of The Two Towers already have the novelization out in paperback. I've seen it at Barnes & Noble already. As if we needed any less of a reason to go see it. The rushed-through story the screenwriter threw in as the first ten minutes of Fellowship of the Ring looked a lot more interesting than the movie we were forced to watch. Why didn't somebody make a movie off that instead?

*/manages with difficulty not to fall out of his chair in spasm of laughter.

Why, indeed?

[Tar-Elendil]

yes, sadly some people can be that stupid. i doubt not that he hasnt the imagination or intelligence to fully appreciate either the movies or books. that person wrote that out of ignorance. i personally feel the dumber for reading what he wrote. maybe he will one day pick up the books with an open mind and heart and read what is truly there

[Reumandar]

What does the second this do
all I saw was bla bla bla
is it his description of TTT?

[Tar-Elendil]

"The archers of Gondor stand with bows drawn along the walls of Helm's Deep"

hahahaha.. he didnt read the books or watch the movie:D ;)

[Arathorn]

Hmmm...

I read the apology and I, as a fan, found it, in no way, insulting; although I have this itchy urge to insult the guy.

Nope, better not...

OK, I'll just grin and show my pearly whites. :D

[azalea]

I'm sure it was meant to be a joke. Did you read the TT review? I was rofl!

[Arathorn]

LOL! Just like the online petition to have TTT changed for being "insensitive" to WTC 9-11. :D

[claudia silver]

Yep ..........i would say it's definintely a joke. Read this........


30 Reasons why EMINEM Is bad for music (http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/eminem50.html)

[Millane]

uuuu people i thought it was pretty obvious it was a joke but then again i think that i will be writing my own 50 things why he is a *deleted*...
mind you i, like wayfarer, found it pretty funny espicially 13.
Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman.
hehehehe sorry women and this one too
The concept of the violent dwarf was based on Al Pacino.
i didnt bother to read that eminem crap... does anyone here like eminem i myself think he is a wanker and i was just curious coz i know no one who likes him..

[Reumandar]

I think the EMINEM stuff is funny
I don't like him at all so maybe that is why?

[Millane]

ohhh do you seriously live in iceland
i forget totally about iceland...

umm im fascinated now what do they eat in iceland

[BeardofPants]

I hear they eat Australians.

[Millane]

are you serious... nah just joking but if i was as gullible as some people around here i would be on my way to melt iceland quick sticks

[Dunadan]

Well I laughed. Mostly nonsense, of course, but there are some points:

Or even better, why didn't Gandalf's giant flying bird friend haul them into Mordor?

Often wondered that myself. ;)

The mutated muscular soldiers of Mordor turned out to be hilariously ineffective soldiers, a dozen of them held off by a single dying human.

Now, now. You can't blame LOTR for all fantasy and sci-fi movies ever made. Besides, nothing could ever rival the final episode of Blake's 7, where the Federation troops suddenly learn to shoot straight after 3 series of being unable to hit a barn door with a banjo. Or Star Wars, where there is invariably a Secret Weakness chamber containing the means to cause the entire Evil and Ugly Empire to explode with a tremendous noise.

Otherwise, this person needs to get a life. Ha ha, he got spammed with thousands of irate emails. Who's laughing now?Some great flames on that bulletin board he links to though.

cheers

d.

[Millane]

The mutated muscular soldiers of Mordor turned out to be hilariously ineffective soldiers, a dozen of them held off by a single dying human.
COZ ITS BOROMIR!!!!!:mad: :mad: :mad:
i took it as a light hearted joke but that is to far

[WallRocker]

I guess everyone's entitlted to their own opinon, that's why we're all posting here :D This guy obviously has no idea what's he's talking about. The "Goblin" idea being stolen from Warcraft? :rolleyes: Tolkiens books were written well before Warcraft came out. Boy, even though these people shouldn't make me mad, they still do.

[Merlin]

My gosh what was this guy thinking when he wrote that? I think his statement about Arwen having powers, and women should not be heroes,or whatever he was trying to get across, was horrid. I can tell a few things about this "person", already. He has no imagination whatsoever, he has never in his life read any of the books (I don't even think he knows that the movie was originated from a book that a man wrote before Willow , computer games and all the other charges he threw against New Line.) And he probably was not a very agreeable person in his youth. Oh, and Boromir and Aragorn are two different characters, Mr. It takes a sharp eye to see it but you'll notice one has red hair and the other has brown. He needs to hobble over to his computer and put it up his ***.

[BeardofPants]

You know, I think he was joking.

[Merlin]

And he may not have been. So there it lies.

[Reumandar]

I really am from Iceland; But I was born in Australia.
They eat all sorts here.

Edit: I am here in Iceland. I am a forth Icelandic.
Not quite sure if that means I am, or am not,
from Iceland:confused:

[Elf.Freak]

ok, i hated all of it, but i hated these the most:

Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman.

~sexist or WHAT?!~

The character of Gollum in The Two Towers will be entirely computer animated, in a cheap effort to cash in on Jar Jar Binks Mania. Thank you, Peter Jackson. Thank you right to Hell.

~Gollum was BRILLIENT, much better that Jar Jar~

The Elves, clearly the most advanced and wise species, are also clearly gay.

~don't THINK so~

i hate that stuff! :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Blackboar]

Me too:mad: :mad: :mad:

Why does he think elves are gay anyway?

[Yazad]

Hee hee,

I can only assume that most of the people responding so vehemently to the very humorous list are also joking?

tip:

http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com

is also a satirical piece.

Yazad

[Iron McFist]

Come on, people, this is clearly a joke and it's FUNNY AS HELL!

[Shadowfax]

:rolleyes: Quite funny, once you get past the fact that this guy is so ignorant to have not read the book:rolleyes:

[Millane]

Why does he think elves are gay anyway?
yeah where did he get that idea from preciousss haldir haldir

[LuthienTinuviel]

haha that site is great!
oh wow. hold on, lemme clean up the tears.
Finders, keepers.

"So Bilbo, who we are supposed to identify with as a protagonist, finds a piece of someone else's jewelry and just keeps it for himself? That's funny, because I would expect a good man to submit it to the local Lost and Found so it could be claimed by its owner. It makes me wonder if he bought that hillside house or if he was just squatting.


Go-Go Gadget Arrow Sprouter.

Legolas shoots arrow after arrow at his enemies, and yet the number of arrows in his quiver never decreases. I guess elves have glands on their back that secrete arrows.


Watch out! He's going to explode!

The heroes are shown eating again and again, and yet no one ever goes to the bathroom throughout their entire quest. "

those are my favourite three.

ha! glands that secrete arrows !
:D :D

edit: Why does he think elves are gay anyway?

well, they DID nance...:p

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Yes, I've browsed the forums there a bit, and it was intended as a joke; the people there do claim to despise LotR (as a whole), but their reasons were a joke.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

And about Gwaihir and horses: their plan was to quietly sneak in. Kind of hard to do on galloping steeds, or a humongous eagle... ;)

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Sorry, but I just had to post this.

Upon digging through their topics, it turns out that they (almost) all actually loved it! I can't put a link to the topic (language), but it's on the third page in the movies and books board on their forums, entitled Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers.

Enjoy. ;)

[Iron McFist]

Originally posted by Shadowfax
:rolleyes: Quite funny, once you get past the fact that this guy is so ignorant to have not read the book:rolleyes:

He probably DID read the books, which is how he contradicted quite a bit of it.

[Elf.Freak]

i still find that site like poision in my throat...:mad:

[samwise of the shire]

Oh boy...that guy needs some SERIOUS professional help in the form of a cast iron pot across the head. That was slaughter...Slander...he should be shot by one of those un modern elves :rolleyes:
I'm not gonna waste any more breath...he was born a jerk...he'll die a jerk and only his unbiased dogma will mourn him.
Cheers,
Sam

[samwise of the shire]

Oh boy...that guy needs some SERIOUS professional help in the form of a cast iron pot across the head. That was slaughter...Slander...he should be shot by one of those un modern elves :rolleyes:
I'm not gonna waste any more breath...he was born a jerk...he'll die a jerk and only his unbiased dogma will mourn him.
Cheers,
Sam
ps. if it was a joke than it was an unbased joke. Something truely hilarious is the Review of Raplh Bakshi's lotr on the Tolkien Sarcasm page...now THAT is funny...because it's not maiming the books in the process

[Reumandar]

Originally posted by Iron McFist
He probably DID read the books, which is how he contradicted quite a bit of it.
Why do you think that?
You don't need to read a book to be able to contradict something
(though it would be the smart thing to do if you don't want to sound like an algjört (total) IDIOT)
All you have to do is see the movie and know stuff obout another movie; Like what he said about Gollum copy-catting Harry Potter's Dobby and other stuff.
You really think he read the book? :rolleyes:

[FrodoFriend]

LOL!!!

I don't know if that guy's joking or not, but it's funny either way! 'International Union of People Who Love Crap' . . . ROFL!!!

[Evenstar1400]

thought it was kinda rude to just go about dissing everything. but the person did apoligize. a few of the things there were kinda funny though.

[Merlin]

COLOR=crimson] Well would you like the book half as much if the Eagles just flew them to Mordor? And there was all those battles fought on foot. and think about the Nazgul's steeds with wings.[/COLOR] :cool:

[The Lady of the Wood]

ha ha ha that is hilarious!!!i really hope that dude is joking, or hes a major idiot!

[#1GaMGeeGuRL]

Gaah! Me and my friend were doing a school project on Tolkien and found this! I e-mailed him with a bunch of choice words and a damn good argument. No I'm not lying. The guy is too chicken to write back.

[gimli7410]

I thought some of it was funny but i think he took it to far. like the sexist remarks.he obviously hasnt read the books either.but what the hell everyone has their own opinion

[Indril Anarion]

BLASPHEMY!!!!!

Lord of the Rings does not suck! He/She did not read the books. It's these ignorant type that make me so mad! :mad: He/She doesn't have the right to trash something he doesn't know about. *Frustrated sigh* this is why we Tolkein fans have to stick together, to undo the damage done by idiots such as the one who wrote up the article. *sigh*

[Khadrane]

I tend to think this guy was being at least semi-sarcastic when he wrote that. Besides, he does make a good points several times.:)

[Gwaimir Windgem]

It's actually a parody of poor review sites, as I learned on their forum.

[aragorn_is_mine]

What?
7. Racism? How? Black is a colour of evil and bad and stuff, you arent going to go to Mordor and find pink towers, beautiful yellow BLACK birds flying around, the palantir (the glass seeing ball) isnt black, it can be any colour, it is black because Sauron uses it, he isnt going to be baby blue is he?
8. Gold, the stretchy element? what? anyone knows the ring was made to change shape to fit anyones finger, so it can claim them. That is why in the first film Isildur picked it up and it went smaller in his hand.
9. Without the violence the film would be boring and uninteresting, Sauron isnt going to ask nicely for the ring and Middle Earth is he?
12. Return of the living dead? whatever, Aragorn put the hobbits in a different room, the Wraiths went into the room they were in and stabbed the pillows, thats why when they pulled back the blankets feathers went everywhere
14. Are you talking about when Boromir held back the urak-hai? because if you were, he is a traimed fighter, a very talented warrior and very very determined.
16. If you saw the film or read the book you will know Gandalf fought the Balrog and fell through fire and water, he fell right down below the dwarfs tunnels, he didnt die
17. This is just pathetic. It is not a normal ring!
20. He is a wizard, Saruman is a wizard, you dont need strength to do that, you need magic
21. Bilbo? In Middle Earth, a lost and found? yeah, whatever
28. The Lord Of The Rings was made long long before Harry Potter
??. All your homage or thefts are rubbih, Tolkien wrote the books long before any of these were
38. Its called love. She said she would rather be with him for one life then face all the ages alone
43. The Watcher wasnt a bad guy, it just wanted to eat Frodo
49. The music was funky enough for you? Well sorry but YOU arent the creator, This world isnt based on YOUR favourites, or YOUR opinions so leave the creators alone. I would like to see you try to make a film so successful as Lord Of The Rings

[aragorn_is_mine]

One more thing to say, The statement about Eowyn fighting when she is clearly a woman was needless and predujice. In the book she said the thing she feared was not death or pain but a cage, to live her life behind bars.

[aragorn_is_mine]

((oops, I put that you said Eowyn shouldnt have fought, Change that to Arwen))

[Reumandar]

Yes this guy is a JERK!!!!!
But he does have a point with the sun and not being able to see thing...
BUT Tolkien was a profesor(I don't know how to spell Sorry :D ) So he must have known what he was talking about ...
Then again He might not have cared
So yeah:D

[Rosie Gamgee]

I read that a really long time ago. WHAT AN IDIOT!! Just reading stuff like that makes me want to smack somebody (particularily the guy that wrote it). I repeat: WHAT AN IDIOT!! What a stupid guy. He obviously never read the books, and apparently didn't see any more of the movie than the whole thing in 'Preview Scenes' mode- MAYBE. I can't believe anybody can have that much nerve!!! I mean, to put something that dumb out for the rest of the world to see . . . Uuuuccggghhhh :mad: !

at least he apologized . . . at least

[Dreran the Green]

If that person is joking, I don't think its that funny.

If that person is not joking, someone better put them in an dumb idiot protection program because I will hunt them down, I will find them, and they will beg for death before the end!!!! AAAAAHH!!!!!

j/k. maybe...:D

[Lady of Rohan]

The website adress told the truth (pointlesswastoftime.com). :rolleyes:

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Originally posted by aragorn_is_mine
What?
7. Racism? How? Black is a colour of evil and bad and stuff, you arent going to go to Mordor and find pink towers, beautiful yellow BLACK birds flying around, the palantir (the glass seeing ball) isnt black, it can be any colour, it is black because Sauron uses it, he isnt going to be baby blue is he?
9. Without the violence the film would be boring and uninteresting, Sauron isnt going to ask nicely for the ring and Middle Earth is he?
16. If you saw the film or read the book you will know Gandalf fought the Balrog and fell through fire and water, he fell right down below the dwarfs tunnels, he didnt die
??. All your homage or thefts are rubbih, Tolkien wrote the books long before any of these were
43. The Watcher wasnt a bad guy, it just wanted to eat Frodo


The Palantir is black because it is made of obsidian, if I remember.

The book had much less violence, especially when you consider the percentage of violence in book to movie. Are you then saying that the book was boring?

Gandalf did die; this is specifically stated in the book. He was sent back by Eru.

But not all of their homage and theft stuff was from the book, some was added to the movie.

I've always had the impression that the Watcher was in fact a sentient being, and not a good one.

Originally posted by aragorn_is_mine
[b] In the book she said the thing she feared was not death or pain but a cage, to live her life behind bars.

Are you sure? I thought that was added in the movie.

[Anglorfin]

This guy's got anger issues.

I couldn't even get through the article, I found it much more than a pointless waste of time. Even in his apology he fails to mention the books.

[Aewionen]

When I started reading this, I was angry but then it got funny. He clearly was not paying attention to the movie(how he said the hobbits were stabbed but then just fine in the inn:D ) and I dont think he read the book either. It was pretty funny though. I was rolfwtime.(Rolling on floor laughing with tears in my eyes.):p

[Elf Girl]

I can't get at it. :confused: :mad:

[Aragorn_iz_cool]

#48. A MONKEY!!! A MONKEY!!!! I WILL KILL THE PERSON WHO WROTE THIS. AND IF I DON'T EOWYN WILL!!!!! HATE HATE HATE HATE:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Originally posted by Aewionen
When I started reading this, I was angry but then it got funny. He clearly was not paying attention to the movie(how he said the hobbits were stabbed but then just fine in the inn:D ) and I dont think he read the book either. It was pretty funny though. I was rolfwtime.(Rolling on floor laughing with tears in my eyes.):p

He did in all likelihood read the book; most of the people there were actually fans of Tolkien's works and the movies; it was just a big hoax; a spoof on bad reviews, actually.

[GrayMouser]

Oh Yeah, Mr. Smarty-pants reviewer, so how come you write in your TT review that when Gandalf comes back he's played by Shaquille O'Neale??

Well, my friend at school told me that Shaquille is actually an African-American so HA HA ON YOU boy are yoe ever dum cause then he'd haf to be GANDALF THE BLACK and then when he came back Legolamb and Araguy and them would be TOAST!!! and if they were TOAST!!! they'd havta be on the Dark Side too, well, mostly I guess depending on how far the dial was turned up between one and ten...

What was I saying? Oh, yeah, me and my friends who ARE REAL FANZ and are even gonna read the novelization when we finish learning the Big letters from the Small ones think you ARE A BIG POOPY-HEAD SO THERE....

[GrayMouser]

Actually the sad thing would be if the good Professor came back, read this thread, and realized how many of his "fans" are functionally illiterate.

[Lalaith]

Greed.

Hollywood can't make a movie these days without crapping out a sequel the next year to squeeze more money out of the sheep. Guess what; there's ANOTHER LOTR movie coming this Christmas. Gee, I wonder what will bring Rocky out of retirement this time?

Hm, let me think. I really thought there were 3 books and therefore there are 3 movies. Am I wrong? ;)

[GrayMouser]

Boy is this guy wrong. Look what he claims about this scene:

I know, I know. Gandolf sells tickets. So the writers farted out a scheme to bring him back, saying he's grown stronger in his time away and now carries the title Gandolf the White, now played by basketball star Shaquille O'Neal and introduced with this awkward scene:


FRODO
Gandolf! I thought you died!

GANDOLF
No.

(He dunks a basketball)

I've seen The Two Towers 352 times and this scene IS NOT IN THE MOVIE!!!!!!

Anybody who knows anything about the book or the movie will immediately spot what's wrong-

GANDALF DOESN"T MEET FRODO AGAIN UNTIL ROTK !!!!

The "Gandalf! I thought you died!" line should go to Gimlet

And as proof this guy hasn't read the book, Gandolf DOESN"T MAKE A DUNK, he makes a FREE THROW!!!!!!!

Of course, with Shaq starring in the movie, the director realized that this was pushing fantasy too far...