Eating Disorders

[Erawyn]

What are everyones thought/opinions? Do you think that the media/society is mostly to blame (girls thinking they're too fat etc) I think that a lot of the time it is, but sometimes its about control too. On tv awhile ago i saw something about little girls (like 4-5) thinking they're fat, eating paper and running in their rooms at night, thats sad.

One of my good friends has been anorexic since gr 4 (we're in gr 10 now) and i am so worried about her. She was in the hospital for all of the summer and third term of last year. She comes on MSN and she complains about how fat she is! I don't know what to say to her anymore.:(

[galadriel88]

I think eating disorders are sad, terrible things that should never happen to anyone. I do think the media is to blame most of the time because compared to those stick-thin models most companies use and the stars who have their photos airbrushed, most of us are fat! But in truth, most of us are completely healthy and normal, and that's what many girls and women are failing to see. Now granted, some people really are overweight, but the dieting shouldn't go too far. You need to be healthy, not underweight. And that's very sad about your friend, Erawyn. I would just try to encourage her as much as possible. Tell her not to compare herself to anyone else, and you might could try finding some chart that shows what healthy weights are for certain heights and ages. Show her what's healthy for her, and tell her that's where she should be. Hope this helps!

[Laurelyn]

Oh, Erawyn, I hope your friend gets better. I really do . . . that would be awful.

How would one tell if one was anorexic? I mean, how little does a person have to eat to halfway kill themselves? I would like to ensure I never go down that road . . . . my friends, as is, are always prodding me to eat lunch. But who the heck is hungry at 11:30??

[Nilvasaien]

The big issue behind most eating disorders is control (or rather, feeling a lack thereof). Women often develop eating disorders because they feel they have no control over most parts of their lives. However, they can control how much they eat, how long it stays in their bodies, how much they exercise, etc. Eating disorders are much more complicated than they might appear. I'm glad your friend has you to care about her. Hopefully, she's still participating in some type of therapy. There is no quick fix; she won't be better if she gains a few pounds. She has to learn new, healthy ways to cope with the stressors in her life. She didn't develop this problem over night; it won't get better over night either. I'll keep a good thought for her.

[Artanis]

I had eating disorder in my teens, I wasn't anorectic but the opposite, I don't know what it's called in English. I ate huge amounts of food and threw it up afterwards. I lost about 10 kilos in that period. For me this was a way to gain control of at least part of my life, which else was rather bad at that time. I also had very little confidence in myself and wanted people to like me, so I thought it would help being thinner :rolleyes: It's ridiculous, but at that time I wasn't thinking clearly. I think there were others, more subtle reasons for my illness as well.

It was my best friend's family that saved me from becoming seriously ill. They took me on a holiday in England for 4 weeks. It really helped to get away from the misery at home.

Good luck to your friend Erawyn. I hope she gets better soon.

[markedel]

It's called bulimea (sp?) and is up there with anorexia as a serious disorder.

[Laurelyn]

Originally posted by markedel
It's called bulimea (sp?) and is up there with anorexia as a serious disorder.
Spelled "bulimia," Markedel. Good try. :)

[Khadrane]

Originally posted by Laurelyn
But who the heck is hungry at 11:30??
I am...

Anyway, I think that eating disorders are awful. I agree with galadriel88 about it being mostly the medias fault. I have a chart with the weight/height that you should be at however old you are, and all of my friends who think they are fat aren't. They are perfectly normal. I think it's sad how practically every girl thinks they're fat.

[samwise of the shire]

It's not just the media. It's the whole culture we live in. Peer pressure can play into it, as well as family pressure. A girl who is normal weight grows up around girls who can wear the latest because they can fit into them is naturally gonna feel like a loner, and feeling like a loner stinks BAD. Then there can be family pressure. My Grandma would pressure my mom into loosing weight when she was a kid (even though my Mom was normal for a big boned 14 year old which thankfully I am) and as such my mom gained weight...just to show SHE had some control. But those cases are rare.
I'm sorry for your friend Erawyn and I hope she gets better soon, just be a good friend, invite her to a slumber party or something just so you can talk. It might be an emotional thing that kind of ingrained itself into her brain and so she cant let go. Tell her you love her(as a friend)just as herself...not as the stick thin model she wants to be but as the friend she was in 4th grade. Just be a good friend and sympathize with her. Just be behind her and help her.
Cheers,
Sam

[cassiopeia]

Anorexia and bulemia are awful. I don't understand why people do it (I could never do it), but it is so sad. It's funny that as in most western countries people are getting fatter, but there is pressure to be thin. Is there a link there?

I think it is the media. We see skinny people on TV, movies and magazines. We feel we need to be like them. But they do airbrush flab away. Like Jamie Lee Curtis, her flabby bits were airbrushed away, but I think she looks great anyway.

I kind of had a eating disorder when I was 12. I was sick and didn't eat much for a few monthes. I got down to 30 kilos and everyone was worried. I think I am a healthy weight now. I am not skinny, but not really fat either. But I still stare at the mirror and wish I was thinner.:(

[Erawyn]

But I still stare at the mirror and wish I was thinner

yah me too..

Thanks for the advice you guys, i don't get to see my friend that much because we go to different schools, but i am going to make an effort to spend more time with her! Sometimes it is really hard because she is so neurotic that i want to yell at her:mad: and when she looks in the mirror and says shes fat when she weighs 75 pnds, and when she grabs her skin and says its fat, i want to scream!!

[Duddun]

It's often just people they talk to some people just like kidding about people being fat, it's not funny.

[samwise of the shire]

In most cases Anorexia and Bulimia are not just a physical thing but a mental thing as well. It may start out as a simple loose weight kinda thing but then it can grow into a mind thing. With Bulimics they need to feel control...but then they loose control and have to punish themselves for loosing control...so they throw up. With Anorexics the feeling of hunger and wishing to be thin become the obsession. It's really too bad.
But Erawyn I've heard of "hopeless"cases where girls were 60 somethin' or other pounds and they got better so dont give up. Just be patient.
Cheers,
Sam

[BeardofPants]

Ugh. I remember being stuck in that rut. :rolleyes: I got down to about 40 kgs doing that whole starve/puke thing. Luckily for me I had a really good friend who I was staying with at the time, and she talked some sense into me. Now I'm nice and curvy. :rolleyes:

[Sween]

i can speak with some authority on this i have known a lot of women with eating disorders. Its with young girls esspecially i rember when i was younger all my gf ever went on about what how fat they were (they were not) and how ill leave them for someone prettier and slimmer (i left them in the end for someone that didnt moan about there weight 24/7).

If a few friends at the moment who i dont think eat enough. One girl called saskia who eats only 300 calories a day :confused: i know the recomended daily allance is 1000 for a woman and im sure theres a good reason why its 1000 and not 300. My other friend katie openly admitted to me she has been making herself sick after allmost every meal (her meals a cup of soup) so i asked her why and she gave me the old dan i love dan dan will love me if im slim wish she would take the hint he dont like her that much. the thing about these 2 is they are very gergeous girls and so nice but they both have such a low opinion of themselves :( .

they are mild to a girl i went to school with called harriet. she was so skinny it wasnt true and would often fall asleep in lessons and be late because she would be been sick in the toliets (the school never did anything to stop here she would often come in 40 minutes late). by the end of school her face had gone yellow and all sorts of things the other girls used to say it miging when they are doing pe and threy saw her in few clothes (it quite upset one of my friends). Anyway to some up i think they took her into care in the end and had to make her eat i dont know where she is now but i hope she is ok because she seemed a sweet girl and no one desrved to feel that way.

[Nazgûl Queen]

Another problem is the way all those body-fat things work. One of my friends, who is perfectly healthy, is decieved into believing she is overweight because she is strong and muscle is 3 times heavier than fat...

The strange thing is, most of the people i know eat a lot less than me... and yet I'm the thinnest of all of us (only 47kg) Damn these high metabolisms, it means that all the charts say I'm underweight *mutters*

[Sween]

i wish my motabolism was faster i have to do about 700 situps a day to keep in shape. if i wanted to get fat i could just like that :(

[Hanza]

Its unfair cos I mean I eat so much chocolate but put on no weight. It annoys me because my friends put on weight really easily and look normal. but I am really thin and occasionally get teased about it, but the thing is I eat enough:confused:

[Artanis]

Originally posted by Sween
One girl called saskia who eats only 300 calories a day :confused: i know the recomended daily allance is 1000 for a woman and im sure theres a good reason why its 1000 and not 300. She has only 300 kcal a day? No one can live on a diet like that. Sween I think 1000 is not enough either, sorry to nitpick, but I don't want someone to read this and think they eat to much. When I was ill I counted calories all day and I knew excactly how much was needed. A woman with a normal level of activity and average height needs about 2000 kcal a day to keep her weight. If she is training or does some heavy work she needs 3000 kcal, if she is relaxing on her back all day she needs 1500 kcal. Add about 25% to these numbers for a man.

Hanza I also think it's unfair that someone can eat everything they want without gaining weight, while others, like myself, only need to look on a piece of cake to swell. :rolleyes: :p

[Sween]

Originally posted by Artanis
She has only 300 kcal a day? No one can live on a diet like that. Sween I think 1000 is not enough either, sorry to nitpick, but I don't want someone to read this and think they eat to much. When I was ill I counted calories all day and I knew excactly how much was needed. A woman with a normal level of activity and average height needs about 2000 kcal a day to keep her weight. If she is training or does some heavy work she needs 3000 kcal, if she is relaxing on her back all day she needs 1500 kcal. Add about 25% to these numbers for a man.


well ive tried to have words with her but she is loseing weight (she did use to be fat) and shes slim now but i think she needs to up her intake of foot. Its such a diffcult thing to do though because they just wont listen to you.

Its also a very sad truth that when she was fat no one looked at her twice but now she is slim she has all sorts of men after her. Another problem i have to keep an eye on shes easily led :( .

[Starr Polish]

Eating disorders are VERY scary things. I've never had one, though I've been accused of it more than once, but I've done a ton of research on it for school projects.

You're right, it's more of a control thing than anything else, though it is possible that the media could have a role (though small) in it. I also have several online friends that are currently struggling with eating disorders, self injury and the like.

The only thing I could really say is that you just need to be there for her. Supposedly, saying 'you' based sentences like "You aren't fat!" aren't helpful at all. It should be more along the lines of "I'm worried about you" (but don't use that too often, they may feel guilty and just fall deeper into the disorder). You've probably already done this, but talk to a parent or a teacher, or some adult, about what's going on and see how you can help.

I think nearly every female in the US has some issues with weight. I am actually naturally somewhat 'waif' like, and have been told by several girls that they wish they had my figure. Even being slightly underweight, there are times when I've simply hated my body and I pull at my skin and sigh. I have to remind myself that most of it is flabby muscle because I haven't been running lately (darn off season).

I just want to add this in as a last thought: Simply because someone is skinny, don't think they're anorexic/bulimic. It can get very annoying, because people still make these comments to me. First they think I'm anorexic, then they see me eat and label me bulimic. It's very irritating.

[Sween]

uve caught me out on the saying 'your not fat' remark. i have also come out with the classic 'i love you the way you are' and 'you dont need to change for anyone'. Tact has never been my thing :( . Unforntally everyone seems to look to me to make things better as i am widely regarded amongst my female and male friends as been the most loyal and patient of friends.

been one of the few not to go to uni i am also the oldest of my friends in my small town.

i've tried say im worried about her but she does brush it off. In truth i am not too concerned with saskia as she is the stronger of the two people and allthough not eating much will come to her sences quicker. It is katie i worry for because shes doing it to please someone and shes quite susecptable to brust into tears all the time.

oh bloddy women do my head in :(

[Artanis]

Originally posted by Sween
Its also a very sad truth that when she was fat no one looked at her twice but now she is slim she has all sorts of men after her. I know what you're saying, I've been there too. :rolleyes: Doesn't give your friend much motivation to start eating again, does it? :(

Originally posted by Sween
In truth i am not too concerned with saskia as she is the stronger of the two people and allthough not eating much will come to her sences quicker. I think it is usually the stronger girls (or boys) who get really ill. They are by nature very determined and hard-working and are not easily put off. If your friend Saskia is like that I would be seriously worried.

[Sween]

Originally posted by Artanis
I think it is usually the stronger girls (or boys) who get really ill. They are by nature very determined and hard-working and are not easily put off. If your friend Saskia is like that I would be seriously worried.

Ive never looked at it from that point of view. She is a determined little thing which is to her credit most of the time.Shes a vegetarian as well so i cannot woo her with my cooking (not met a woman yet who can resit my cooking). speaking of veggies how healthy is that for you? My mate chris is a veggie and hes forever falling asleep.

I dont know what to do. If anyone here has suffred from eating disorders or helped somone i would love advice.

[TinuvielChild]

Does anyone remember Heidi Guenther? She was a dancer at Boston Ballet a few years ago. The artistic director, Anne-Marie Holmes, told her that she was too fat and needed to lose some weight. Heidi Guenther became anorexic, and one day when she was on her way to Disneyland with her mother, she just slumped over. Her mother thought that it was a joke, but her heart had just stopped. She had died instantly. When she died, she was 22 years old, 5 foot 3, and weighed less than 93 pounds. This was in 1997.

[osszie]

This is a grim subject, but certainly one that should be spoken about.

A friend of mine has a 15yr old son who is suffering from bulliemia:(

This is the link she first used to help gather information on his condition

http://www.edreferral.com/

the site also contains many links to other good sources of information

[BeardofPants]

Some women become vegetarian because they think it will help them lose weight faster. In actual fact, unless they are supplementing protein into their diet, they won't lose weight. I'm a vegetarian, and because of the fact that my diet can be very carb rich, I've actually put on a bit of weight.

[cassiopeia]

I had two friends that were skinny, but ate more than me and I weighed more than them. So weight has something to do with metabolism and genes. I have actually decided to start a diet today. I am about 56kg now and I want to be about 46kg. I want to be slim for summer. *sigh* I just had a weekend of pigging out on lollies and chocolates.:o

[Artanis]

I think people should focus more on being fit than being slim. In a health perspective it's way better to be relatively fat and fit than being thin and not trained at all, plus you get the opportunity to do all the fun things that require physical fitness and strength.

[BeardofPants]

Originally posted by cassiopeia
I have actually decided to start a diet today. I am about 56kg now and I want to be about 46kg. I want to be slim for summer. *sigh* I just had a weekend of pigging out on lollies and chocolates.:o

You are kidding, right? You're positively tiny and I hate you! ;) Blast, I'd be happy if I could slim down to the late fifties, early sixties..... :( :rolleyes:

Yeah, I'm trying to get into shape as well; but for personal happiness rather than trying to get into a bikini without scaring the general populace of Auckland. :D Still, I'm sure all those stomach crunches will start paying off eventually. *hopeful look*

[Khadrane]

Originally posted by cassiopeia
I had two friends that were skinny, but ate more than me and I weighed more than them. So weight has something to do with metabolism and genes.
I agree with that. It's not really fair. I can eat practically everything I want, (I don't pig out 24/7 or anything, but I've never had to watch what I eat.) and not gain weight. Of course, I'm also very active. Or at least I used to be until I fractured my pelvis.:(

[Starr Polish]

Originally posted by Artanis
I think people should focus more on being fit than being slim. In a health perspective it's way better to be relatively fat and fit than being thin and not trained at all, plus you get the opportunity to do all the fun things that require physical fitness and strength.

Exactly, which is what I was referring to when I 'sigh' at my body. It's not because I'm not slim (I already am), but because I'm no longer fit, like I was last spring. Darn entmoot. ;)

Weight has a LOT to do with genes, metabolism, and bone structure. I'm lucky enough to have a small bone structure (most bracelets slide off of my wrists, and even sandals that are my show size are too wide at the ankle straps), and a high metabolism, which both tie in with good genes.

A friend of mine, who is recently on a diet, commented the other day on her bone structure and weight. She's got a pretty average, curvy frame, and she told me not to worry about her losing to much weight, because if she got her weight down to what mine was, it'd "look gross".

[cassiopeia]

Originally posted by BeardofPants
You are kidding, right? You're positively tiny and I hate you! ;) Blast, I'd be happy if I could slim down to the late fifties, early sixties..... :( :rolleyes:

Oh, well, I'm shorter than average; so I'm not skinny. *curses parents* I'm sticking to my diet so far.........:cool:

[Erawyn]

I think exercise is better than diets, and easier to stick to. My bloody exercise machine broke last night and real jogging hurts my knees, its too bad i'm too inept to fix it!I was running 5 K a day for about 3 days stright, i was very proud of myself...

[BeardofPants]

I don't think I've ever really dieted, per se. Denial just doesn't work with me for some reason. :D But I have an exercise program that I do every day. Well, I have set work outs about four to five times a week, and on the "off" days, I have just cardio for 20-30 mins. I used to hate exercise, but now I find it a good wind down at the end of the day. Besides which, exercising at the gym in my apartment block at 10pm ensures that no one else is using it AND it sends me to sleep .... voila! No more sleeping problems. :)

[Sween]

i could never diet i simply love food too much essecially when ive been drinking ive just polished off a 12 inch pizza on way home from pub :D

[Laurelyn]

I'm going to ask this again, because my friends are persistent in their pestering, and it's starting to scare me:
How does one tell if one has an eating disorder?

[BeardofPants]

If someone is weighing their food or excessively calorie counting is a good sign. Or if they have to go to the bathroom after their meals. Or if they spend a long time chewing their food and not actually eating a lot. If they're obsessed about their weight, and talking about their fat whatevers all the time, constantly asking your opinion on them, and so forth.

[osszie]

Originally posted by Laurelyn
I'm going to ask this again, because my friends are persistent in their pestering, and it's starting to scare me:
How does one tell if one has an eating disorder?

The simplest question to ask yourself is "do I enjoy eating?"

The second question is "do I enjoy eating too much?"

If the first answer is yes and the second answer is no....no problem:)

[Artanis]

Originally posted by Laurelyn
I'm going to ask this again, because my friends are persistent in their pestering, and it's starting to scare me:
How does one tell if one has an eating disorder? If someone love to cook huge meals and watch other people eat it, and not eating any of it themselves.

[crickhollow]

Originally posted by Laurelyn
I'm going to ask this again, because my friends are persistent in their pestering, and it's starting to scare me:
How does one tell if one has an eating disorder? watch for comments about her weight, comparing herself to others, picking at her food. Eating a LOT of junk food, and nothing else all day. An overblown exercise schedule. regularly skipping meals (ie only eating once a day :eek: my hobbit sensibilities are flabbergasted!)

[Laurelyn]

Osszie . . . the answer to the first question is no, I don't. I don't like eating, no, I don't know, do I?
Depends. Depends on a lot of things. I'll eat, I suppose, late in the day. But -- lunch? Breakfast? What the heck are those?
Oh, I know what they are, though. I know what lunch is because I've been talked into eating it. I wouldn't, otherwise, though. That's just a leftover habit from last year when I had gym right after lunch, and I didn't like to make myself sick.
See why I'm scared? I'm not fat and I know that, but I don't like to eat when I'm not hungry, and I'm not hungry too often.
Crickhollow, btw: What do you consider an "overblown excerise schedule?"

[Millane]

i know that eating disorders are a big factor in many peoples lives but i just couldnt imagine trying to skip food... there is nothing i would like better than to have a huge feast... of late on the weekends and when i get up real early i have started second breakfasting i love that idea i have two breakfast because everyone loves breaky and then i have a small lunch...
anyways enough of my eating regime back to eating disorders i think that a big way to eliminate some eating disorders is to make sure you dont tease your friends and make them self conscious.. another thing is to watch out for your friends, children and make sure they eat... and one more... keep people busy and active so they need to keep up there food intake and they wont have time to think so bad about themself

[Starr Polish]

Originally posted by osszie
The simplest question to ask yourself is "do I enjoy eating?"

The second question is "do I enjoy eating too much?"

If the first answer is yes and the second answer is no....no problem:)

Sorry, but it's really hard to put a blanket statement like this on those with eating disorders. An anorexic may LOVE to eat, (in fact, most of them say they do), but they also hate it at the same time. I'm sure you've heard this before, but anorexia is a disease, and not eating is simply a symptom. More often than not it's a control struggle, or a form of rebellion.

Bulimics also love to eat, but once they 'binge', and feel incredibly guilty, so they get rid of it. Once again a control struggle.

[Starr Polish]

Laurelyn, if you eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full you should be okay. My eating schedules can get really strange too, and I don't lose or gain any significant amount of weight. (I think part of it is because I was put on a 'six small meals a day' diet for awhile in junior high.) If you begin to think you're underweight, talk to someone about it. When you go in for routine check ups they'd probably comment on it if you are.

I think crickhollow means when you exercise to the point of actual exhaustion, nearly every day. Pushing your body beyond all limits just to get more calories burned.

[Laurelyn]

Originally posted by Starr Polish
Laurelyn, if you eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full you should be okay. My eating schedules can get really strange too, and I don't lose or gain any significant amount of weight. (I think part of it is because I was put on a 'six small meals a day' diet for awhile in junior high.) If you begin to think you're underweight, talk to someone about it. When you go in for routine check ups they'd probably comment on it if you are.

I think crickhollow means when you exercise to the point of actual exhaustion, nearly every day. Pushing your body beyond all limits just to get more calories burned.

Oh. Thanks, that's really reassuring, actually. I don't lose wieght, so . . . thanks. :)

And as to the point of actual exhaustion: Ha! That's me, daily, but it's got nothing to do w/ calories. I'm an insomniac whose remedy is to wipe herself out. :)

[crickhollow]

Originally posted by Laurelyn
What do you consider an "overblown excerise schedule?" well, that depends somewhat on the person. To be honest, a person with an eating disorder could exhibit any, all, or none of the aforementioned examples. I'm just listing off stuff I've noticed in people that definately have an eating disorder. Same goes for the exercise bit.
I know several girls who have what I would call an overblown exercise schedule. eg, I frequently smell BO on them, because they had to get that last exercise session in, and didn't leave time for a shower...or, like SP said, exercising to the point of exhaustion. Again, each person is different--I'm usually doing well if I exercise four times a week, but then, I'm a bit of a lazy bum ;) hey, bottom line: don't be too worried abou it. I would say asking about eating disorders, and wanting to make sure that you don't have one, is the surest sign that you don't have one.

[Shadowfax]

Just today, at school, we had a presentation about the dangers of eating disorders, and feeling bad about your body. It was kinda wierd though, because it was only for the girls at school - all the guys had to stay in classes. Guys can have eating disorders too, though... Any ways, it was a pretty good informative presentation, lots of stats and they talked a lot about the media's influence, etc. But what was kinda funny is that this lady was going on and on about how you don't need to worry about your weight, you shouldn't cont calories, etc, and then when people answered her questions and stuff she's like, "and here's a sugar free candy for you!" We're all like, hmm, sugar free, and yet you tell us not to worry about what we eat??? :rolleyes: So yeah, it was kind of funny, but I thought it was good that we got a presentation at school about it.