Hurting Your Friends

[olsonm]

Have you ever hurt your friend's feelings wthout meaning to? I just did and it's a horrible feeling. :(

I think it's best to apologize and then leave them alone for a bit til they can forgive you. But it's hard to wait for that. Do you think it's best to wait for them to come to you when they're ready or should you go to them to see if they're still mad? I suppose it depends but is there a general rule of decorum on this?

[Andúril]

A couple years back I had "feelings" for this chick, but she just wanted to be friends. So I tried to be "just friends" but that didn't work. So one day, we had a minuscule misunderstanding, and I never saw her again.

She told me, on more than one occasion, that I was her best friend (during our three year friendhsip/relationship), and twice she said we were soul mates.

She thought that she did something wrong that day, to make me leave and never speak to/see her again. But that wasn't the case.

I spoke to her on Monday.

[Spock]

If you realize the error was yours, do not wait. As life goes along friends become less and less. Experience teaches us to trust less not more (all liberals are exempt from this generality).
Tell your friend of your error and sorrow that is has hurt his/her feelings. Then you can let them sort it all out at least knowing you've done what is correct and forthright in a meaningful way.

[ArwenEvenstar]

I KNOW YOUR PAIN!! I'm horrible for hurting people's feelings accidently, and having it happen back. I think it takes a true friend to rush back and apoligize ASAP.

[Sween]

believe it or not but i can be quite insensative sometimes

[Elven Archer]

I've hurt my friend's feelings a bunch of times without meaning too.I felt realy bad about it but we talked and then she understood. But then she hurt me really bad and it took a while to get over what she said. So i think it kinda depends on how bad their feelings were hurt.

[samwiselvr2008]

I did that to my friend on aug. 6th at meet the teacher thingy at school, and i just apolagized and we both mooved on and didn't ceer, she was very understanding! I don't know about your friend, but try to apolagize and see what happens, one time it took a couple of days with me and my friend, but that was a fight that we had because we misunderstood eachother.

[Erawyn]

Since i have no tact, and i don't think before i speak most of the time, i do a lot, and its horrible, but usually i get mad when they get mad, and it makes it a lot worse. If i just apologized right away my life would be a lot easier. So thats what i think everyone should usually do!

[Archbob the Elder]

I usually don't hurt feelings, everyone is used to me, I usually don't say mean things and if I do, everyone knows its a joke since all my friend consider me passive.

[Andúril]

Fallings out with friends is extremely rare for me. In fact, I've only had two, both times with the same chick.

And both times (in '98 and '99), on her birthday.

Luckily I don't have friends anymore, so I can't mess around with people's emotions like that.

[ArwenEvenstar]

Anduril my care-o-meter says:

not problem

[Lizra]

I agree with Spock. The older you get, the less friends you have. Most of them are the "fairweather" type. Apologize (repeatedly if necessary!) and have lots of fun with them now! :) It's true, Blood runs thicker than water!

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Sween
believe it or not but i can be quite insensative sometimes

That IS surprsing. :D I would never have guessed. :D

[Rána Eressëa]

The only feelings I've ever hurt (or offended) was when I starting making atheist jokes one day to some Christian friends. :eek:

Apparently they didn't agree with my sense of humor.

[Artanis]

I think the best thing to do after hurting someone is to apologize as soon as possible, and then be around until the other person is ready to make friends again, even if it takes a very long time.
It's true, Blood runs thicker than water!
I don't know about that. My mom and my aunt hasn't spoken to each other for more than 10 years, and they're sisters. Another aunt of mine has had no contact with her son in more than 15 years.

It seems that the one you love most, is the one you hurt most as well.

[Sween]

Originally posted by Rána Eressëa
The only feelings I've ever hurt (or offended) was when I starting making atheist jokes one day to some Christian friends. :eek:

Apparently they didn't agree with my sense of humor.

we've all done that

[shadara]

Speaking of Christianity... there's a little funny thing I like to remember on occasion.

Evangelist
Evingelast
Evilgenast
Evilsenagt
Evilsanegt
Evilsagent
Evil's Agent

Another one is where you turn "Desperation" into "A Rope Ends It"

[osszie]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Artanis
[B]I think the best thing to do after hurting someone is to apologize as soon as possible, and then be around until the other person is ready to make friends again, even if it takes a very long time.

yep.......nothing ever gets resolved by keeping you're mouth closed

some friends tend to come and go but it's a bit of a bassa when some leave on a sour note.

these day's I do my best to keep the good ones:)

[Lizra]

Hey Artanis, I'd bet your family's relationships will eventually improve...I could be wrong (hope not :) ) Sooner or later, one of the sisters will "crack" and break the ice, after a bit of awkwardness, the love will flow!! :) Hopefully.

[Artanis]

Thanks. :) It would be nice if they were to become friends again. But they're so proud and stubborn. It goes in the family
:rolleyes:

[Rána Eressëa]

Originally posted by Artanis
I think the best thing to do after hurting someone is to apologize as soon as possible, and then be around until the other person is ready to make friends again, even if it takes a very long time.

I didn't apologize for my jokes. I mean, hey, I'm not sorry for them. It took my friends a day or two to get over it.

[Starr Polish]

But isn't that the excuse that bullies always use?

"I was just kidding."

Oh yeah, SP, I was just kidding when I pushed you into locker doors for no apparent reason. I don't see why you can't take a joke.

Yeah, SP, I was just kidding when I ripped up your assignment. Just a joke, so reason to get mad. Sheesh.

Ha...ha...ha.

[Rána Eressëa]

Verbal jokes are nothing compared to physical damage upon a person or their things.

But me, though . . . heh, heh . . . I wasn't kidding. :eek:

[Sylvee Estel]

My friends and I got in a fight over a guy. We never really talked it out, just avoided each other for a while, then started pretending to be friends again. Now there is like a big scar in our friendship, and we can never be as close as we were. It really stinks, I love my friends and I hate us fighting. But now I wish we'd talked that fight out, and lots of other fights we've had and cared for those wounds before they made a scar. My advice is do as much as you can to heal the hurt before it scars, because scars leave awful marks that stay forever.

[Celandine]

I don' t remember anytimes that i have done that, but maybe it is just my memory

[Duddun]

I had a fight with my best friend and we hated eachother for about a year and were friends again but not as close.

[Artanis]

Originally posted by Rána Eressëa
I didn't apologize for my jokes. I mean, hey, I'm not sorry for them.
No, to apologize is of no use if you're not sorry.
Verbal jokes are nothing compared to physical damage upon a person or their things.
I don't agree. Words can do more harm than a physical attack if you hit a weak point. The trouble is, we usually don't know the weak points of other people, so by making seemingly harmless jokes we may accidentally hurt them badly.