*shudder* fast-food chains with lotr tie ins

[Carcharoth the Red Maw]

Check out this interesting article over at salon.com (http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/feature/2000/08/16/lord_rings/index.html).

Its an Inevitable fact that the Lord of the Rings films are going to be marketed at Star Wars proportions. And this actually scares me :o

"I had an awful sinking feeling in my chest when I first saw the new action figure representing the Lord of the Nazgûl -- leader of the nine fearsome Ringwraiths who pursue Frodo and his friends -- now selling for $19.95 at online toy stores. ("Without the need of batteries, the eyes of the Lord of the Nazgûl will light up! Order now before it returns to Sauron!"). To someone who has never been under the spell of Tolkien's books, it's impossible to explain why a harmless toy should seem so disheartening, even sacrilegious. I suppose that for Tolkien enthusiasts his world and its characters have a profoundly mythic seriousness that can only be grossly devalued by translating it into the world of children's playthings. The Nazgûl scared the **** out of me as a child. They are meant to be emissaries of soul-destroying terror; they're not tricked-out vaudeville villains out of Lucas' plastic universe or the World Wrestling Federation."

"Knowing that it's going to become a mass-marketing phenomenon is, well, a different thing," she says. "I'm going to feel the worst when I find out what fast-food chain has the 'Fellowship of the Ring' tie-in. When I see Galadriel on the side of a plastic soda cup."

To me these are incredibly disturbing thoughts. But unfortunately the colossal marketing goes with the territory of most films these days. Bring on the plastic tack.

"Hey Mr Jackson, how about some high quality merchandise instead of glow in the dark nazgul stickers?"

PJ :"hmmm no"

[c]Embedded Scripts and Applets not allowed

[Film Hobbit]

It is kind of sad... but look at it like this... if nothing else perhaps all this mass marketing will help get more kids interested in LOTR than would have been before, maybe even get some of them to read something... WOW! If that happens then its worth it :)

[Darth Tater]

Sadly I doubt that'll happen. Why read the book when you can see the movie? *barfs in the corner*

[Taimar]

The prospect of buying a `Frodo Happy Meal` at McDonald`s is a depressing one, but these days this kind of mass-marketing is inevitable.

I`m just glad my 9 year old daughter has already read LOTR and will not receive her introduction to JRRT courtesy of Peter Jackson and corporate America.

[Film Hobbit]

Trying to be positive about the Happy Meal toys.

If you want to be really pessimistic, the release of the movie could actually result in fewer people bothering to read the books because they'll just figure they can see the movie and get the same effect so why waste their time doing "readin"

[noldo]

But then again, people could get over-excited waiting for TT after FotR and RotK after TT... And read the book in the middle. :D

[Shanamir Duntak]

At least we can hope it works out like that... Anyway, those who don't read these books are really missing something big!

[Gilthalion]

I think noldo is right. Expect booksales to jump!

***
Gilthalion's steed cantered up to a window on the side of the Prancing Pony. He stopped and looked in at a hot, red-faced hobbit standing over a woodstove.

"I'd like a Bacon-Mushroom Burger please, some Lembas, and a large Hot Tea," he said.

"Would you like a side of McCram with that?"

"No, thank you. That will be all."

"Your order comes to three copper pieces."

Gilthalion paid the overworked hobbit, checked his bag to make sure the order was right, and sipped at his tea as his horse broke into a trot toward the city gate. Unfortunately, Gilthalion spilled some of his hot tea on the beast and it threw him to the cobblestones.

Grimacing as he gingerly tried his broken ankle, he swears vengeance on the old establishment. They would hear from his lawyers!
***

[Strider]

It wonder if therell be a novel of the screenplay. wouldnt that be weird? the original lotr trilogy then the lotr trilogy screenplay. im confused just talking about it.

[Shanamir Duntak]

Yeah... it would indeed be strange... But there will be some (lots) modifications to the original piece, does this justify a "LOTR scrrenplay"? I don't know... But I guess we just won't see that

[Bullroarer]

reminds me of this
pub2.ezboard.com/fbenjami...D=86.topic (http://pub2.ezboard.com/fbenjaminstolkienboardmiddleearth.showMessage?topi cID=86.topic)

[arynetrek]

the idea of little plastic Gandalfs is both downright frightening & utterly sad.

aryne *

[Strider]

Sauron Eye drop's anyone ;)

[Grand Admiral Reese]

I can imagine them and its not a pretty sight. Can you imagine a talking Gollum toy with a Happy Meal? That's probably the scariest I can think of.

[Bullroarer]

McGandalf, would he be white, or grey?

[Grand Admiral Reese]

Probably both just so they could get more money off of it. One week he's gray, the next he's white.

[Shanamir Duntak]

Surely... but if you wanna be afraid look at this!!!!!

www.xenite.org/store/midd...-toys.html (http://www.xenite.org/store/middle-earth-toys.html)

[noldo]

But those look so sweet. 8o

[Grand Admiral Reese]

The Lord of the Nazgul doesn't look bad there, strangely. But Gollum and the Balrog don't look right to me.

[arynetrek]

remember the Barbie dolls with the hair that if you dip it in icy-cold water, it changes color? that's how they'd do the McGandalf - dip him in cold water, he turns white, hot water he turns gray (or would it be the other way around?) this could also tie in with the talking McGandalf, where you pull a string on his back & he quotes that line "i have been through fire & deep water..."

or they'll do the Beanie Baby thing & put out a gray & white version (like someone said) but only give out 1,000 or so of the White version so teh cazed collectors will go nute trying to find it.

aryne *

PS- that Gollum is not Gollum.

[Strider]

thats a worringly true statement.

[Shanamir Duntak]

I'd buy a McGandalf that changes color! :lol:

[Gilthalion]

Shanamir's shocking honesty has torn the veil away!

Admit it!

ALL OF YOU WILL BUY THE MERCHANDISE!!!!

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha HA!!!!


(The little hobbit chuckled wickedly and prepared to buy stock in New Line Cinema...)

[Film Hobbit]

Yes! Yes its true! I can't wait to get my Frodo with sword slashing action!

[Shanamir Duntak]

And my favorite, Balrog WITH articulated WINGS!

[Michael Martinez]

What I find most disturbing about that Salon article is that it's grossly inaccurate on many points. Every Tolkien forum on the Net has already gone through at least one "I fear the marketing bonanza!" craze.

[Film Hobbit]

I no longer fear it, I now am prepared to embrace it... my only worry is that I may look stupid ordering happy meals.

[Grand Admiral Reese]

I won't get the Happy Meal toys. Just real action figures. They're more worth spending money on. As long as they're good that is.

[Strider]

but with such a huge world that is Tolkiens Middle-Earth we will most likely see a copy of what happened in the Star Wars Trilogy, and see every character possible appear on a piece of plastic...its only a matter of time before we see Sam riding Bill The Pony action pack ;)

[Shanamir Duntak]

Or Boromir vs orcs action figures... with 7 arrow points through his chest :p

[dunedain lady]

Actually, you're right; the Nazgul don't look too bad, except for the fact that, in my mind, they never seemed like concrete, tangible figures you could cast in plastic. Hmmm....so far, the theoretical McMiddle Earths you have been prophysising have all been the male characters. What about the ladies of the story? Will Barbie start sporting elven cloaks and swords? *shudders*

[Grand Admiral Reese]

About the Nazgul figures: If you noticed, those figures for the Ringwraiths had no faces, only the red eyes. All that made them up was the cloak and the armor, which gives them "shape". There's nothing else to them.

[GlaurungTheGold]

Frodo is a cross between Elvis and Bill Clinton! Proof inside!

www.middleearthtoys.com/f...-downs.htm (http://www.middleearthtoys.com/figures/frodo/figures-frodo-barrow-downs.htm)

[Elanor]

I may buy some of the action figures/toys/merchandise, but not a fanatical amount.

I think the greatest horror will be the "junior novelization". You know they'll do it. And it will be terrible! There's no way you can do justice to a book like LOTR in 50-100 pages. :p :p :p It will be even more simplified than the movie, and will not encourage kids to read LOTR at all, and will leave out everything important and probably emphasize the stuff the moviemakers are inventing! Arggghh.

[Eruve]

OMG, that Frodo figure is hilarious. IMO it looks just like a late 60's Elvis, complete with white suit. They just needed to make it a body suit with an oversized collar and hand him a microphone. I don't know whether to laugh or be horrified!

[juntel]

Hmmm... he has somewhat also an air of Tony Soprano... scary!

[Fat middle]

for those who haven't seen it, here's the guilty
http://www.fandomshop.com/MANIAgif/TYFB.gif
i'm seeing it: the other hobbits will seem like the Bee Gees. Sam will be the bald one cuz Pippin and Merry need to have long hairs at least after their visit to Fangorn :p


o, and Fatty Bolger will be like Meat Loaf :D

[Eruve]

:lol: , Fat Middle!

Where do people get the idea that Hobbits have these enormous sideburns? Normally, sideburns are part of a man's beard that doesn't get shaved, and most Hobbits don't have beards, for pity's sake!!!!! I know Naismith's art always portrays Hibbits with sideburns, but IIRC the 1970s movies didn't even have Hobbits with sideburns... And sideburns were in style then, too.