LOTR Juxstapostion

[afro-elf]

Any idea how these would turn out?

As far as title AND synopsis?

LOTR juxstaposed with

Lord of the Dance, Lord of the Flies. Lord of the Rings.


Quentin Tarantino directs LOTR


George Lucas does LOTR


Disney does LOTR


All the male characters are female and vice versa

[FrodoFriend]

All the male characters female . . .
NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

*shrieks and runs away gibbering like a madwoman*

[Feraway Hawkbriar]

O_O...*twitch*

[Renille]

I do not think that would would be a good thing. Unless you WANT to replace Merry and Pippin with C-3PO and R2-D2:p .

[ChildofEru]

I'ld shoot myself in the head if I heard Disney was doing a LoTR movie/book/LoTR on ice/5 part mini-series.

[athelas]

Disney and LOTR...yikes:( The fellowship will be singing stupid songs every 5 mins. And they'll be skipping happily to Mordor, sans all tragedies and bloody battles. At Mordor Frodo will just toss in the ring, Sauron goes up in smoke and everybody makes their happy way home. The dwarves will look like clones of Snow White's ones, the elves will look like Santa's "not so little helpers" and Gollum will be animated by Pixar, Toy Story style...:rolleyes:

[Strange-Looking Lurker]

ahhh!!!! NO, NO, NO!!!!!

[Renille]

"Hi- ho, hi-ho, its off to Mordor we go!" (whistle whistle whistle...) Okay...NO!

[emplynx]

Originally posted by athelas
The fellowship will be singing stupid songs every 5 mins.
Well actually, they did...

[illogik]

frodo, sam, merry and pip go into lands of mordor to film a documentary about the legend of sauron.. their footage is found years later..

[CardenIAntauraNauco]

Imagine the bashki cartoon and amplify ever annoying aspect of the movie. This would be something like the disney movie.

[bropous]

Were Disney to have done Lord of the Rings as a film, Tolkien himself would have risen from the grave as a revenging wraith to strike down the studio bosses. Tolkien DESPISED Disney stuff...source "Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien".

However, if the Disney of present day did LotR, Sam and Frodo would be gay, Arwen would be played by Christine Aqquilera and would end up going for Eowyn, Snoop Doggy Dog would rap and make us hurl as Lord of the Nazgul, all characters would spew obscenities and street ebonics with every turn, the Elves would wear football team coats and drive BMWs, and the Palantiri would be replaced with cel phones. Disney now is an abomination and cannot be trusted to turn out a good, much less acceptable for children, film.

[FrodoFriend]

Poor Disney. :( I really do like Beauty and the Beast. But you could never make a kids Lord of the Rings without totally mangling the story. Imagine, LotR in an hour and a half? Nah.

[luinilwen]

tisk tisk! i have to agree with frodofriend on this one! i love disney films (along with pretty much anything animated... god i love tom and jerry!) but surely disney would be inappropriate for LOTR and probably even the hobbit.

i love jungle book the most - those dixieland tunes are WILD :D and dear bropous, i don't think modern disney is as bad as you profess! i loved the hunchback of notre dame (sp?) and hercules, both of which were fairly recent productions.

ok so they're evil capitalists, but so are most food chains, supermarkets, variety stores (i think that's what americans call shops like k-mart?) etc. *sigh*

[luinilwen]

PS. pixar is great! not a big fan of toy story, but i absolutely loved monsters inc. however i don't think many kids could pick up on th eplot line. my 18 year old friend paul had trouble with the plot line, although his mind is somewhat... eroded. (thats what 'pipe' weed does to you kiddies!)

[Earniel]

I used to like Disney but now I don't really like what they turned it into. Disney doing LOTR? Mmmm, naaaah don't see that happening, or hope to see that don't happening (is that even a sentence?) But if they ever did LOTR I put money on it that it'll be raining when Gandalf and Boromir die....

[Laurelyn]

Originally posted by bropous
However, if the Disney of present day did LotR, Sam and Frodo would be gay, Arwen would be played by Christine Aqquilera and would end up going for Eowyn, Snoop Doggy Dog would rap and make us hurl as Lord of the Nazgul, all characters would spew obscenities and street ebonics with every turn, the Elves would wear football team coats and drive BMWs, and the Palantiri would be replaced with cell phones. Disney now is an abomination and cannot be trusted to turn out a good, much less acceptable for children, film.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Help me! The horror of Disney mauling LotR! AAHHHHHHHH!!!!! *runs away*

[FrodoFriend]

What? Bropous, I haven't seen any Disney movies that have done any of those things. Disney doesn't discuss homosexuality and it doesn't have rap songs or obscenities. Are you sure we're talking about the same thing here?

[samwise of the shire]

I like Disney stuff like Beauty and the Beast and my favorite movie when I was a kidlet was "The Little Mermaid" :o So dont get me wrong. I LOVED Monsters Inc and Toy Story(One I thought Numero Dous was KIND OF dumb)and I liked many numerous Disney shows but I do have some problems with some of the more recent movie they've come out with.
Do you know the TRUE Poccahontas of history was a converted to Christianity?For some strange and probably politically correct reason Disney turned her into this teeny bober dressed in this mini skirt and who likes talking to this old tree and to the Spirits of the Earth. They turned true american history into this twisted thing so they wouldn't offend the Indian American population. Although I kind of liked the songs and that Racoon. They should have called him Pippin. ;) J/K
In Lion King the word s-e-x is spelled by the dust in the air when Simba is all depressed and plops down in the dust and it goes to the monkeys tree(Hey has anyone noticed that that monkey has a diaper on?) but that is the ONLY thing I have against Lion King Loved the songs and the animation.
Something happens in The Little Mermaid that my Mom wont tell me about so I guess it's pretty bad plus the Mermaid is a spoiled self centered diosbedient brat with no regard to the rules and the father is a WIMP. He's a DOORMAT and lets his daughter just do whatever she wants. But then that happens in the second one (which is REALLY DUMB) with Ariel. But then again I LOVED ALL the songs in that movie.
And before I jump to conclusions I THINK I know what Bropous means by Homosexuality but I want to be sure so what do you mean by Homosexuality Bro?
And the non computer animators of Disney must be getting REALLY BORED because they're comin out with: Peter Pan 2: Return to Neverland, Humback of Notre Dame 2(I forgot the subtitle.)and ummmm*scratches behind ear and coughes politly into her hand before continuing on* Cinderella 2:Dreams Come True. AUGGGGGHHH that is just plain GROSS and SICK. YUCK!
SO yes I too say:SAVE US FROM DISNEYIZED LOTR. Although John-Rhys-Davies played Aladdins Dad in the King Of Thieves.
Sam

[FrodoFriend]

What? It does not spell "sex"! I hear rumors like that all the time and I refuse to believe them!

As for Pocahontas, it was historically inaccurate, but she did believe in her Native American religion before she converted to Christianity. And the movie takes place before she marries an Englishman, moves to England, and becomes Christian, so technically there's nothing wrong with that part of it.

Lots of Disney movies are good, especially the songs! Sequels are an entirely different things. Almost all movie sequels suck, not just Disney.

[Feraway Hawkbriar]

OH! OH! I know that bad part in TLM your mom was talking about! at the end when they're getting married the preecher is ...uh...*cough*...uuuhhh...well lets just say the boat is not the only thing wooden in that scene.

[FrodoFriend]

I can't believe this. That's disgusting. :mad:

[Feraway Hawkbriar]

but its true!

[Laurelyn]

In a kids' movie? Oh, dear . . .
*Runs away, terrified at what the world is coming to*

[Starr Polish]

ACtually, if you go to urbanlegends.com it sheds light on a lot of these subjects.

It's not THAT in the little mermaid, it's actually his bent knee, and the thing in the Lion king may have been SFX, as a tribute to the special effects team

Sorry bad typing, i'm on a different computer with a weird keyboard.

[FrodoFriend]

Thanks for clearing that up, Starr!

And shame on you people who thought differently! Hah, I knew it wasn't true!

Seriously, people have tried to tell me stuff like that before, and . . . well, I just don't believe the movie-makers would do that. They're professionals, not perverted loonies.

[Legolas_BowKing]

I think LotR on ice would be a great idear. I wouldn't personally go see it but im sure there would be a high pecentage of peole that would.

[Hapira_Brandybuck]

Originally posted by bropous

However, if the Disney of present day did LotR, Sam and Frodo would be gay, Arwen would be played by Christine Aqquilera and would end up going for Eowyn, Snoop Doggy Dog would rap and make us hurl as Lord of the Nazgul, all characters would spew obscenities and street ebonics with every turn, the Elves would wear football team coats and drive BMWs, and the Palantiri would be replaced with cel phones. Disney now is an abomination and cannot be trusted to turn out a good, much less acceptable for children, film.

No, that would be if MTV did LotR

and Usher would be Tom Bombadil lol

[Aragorns Dimple]

George Lucas directs LoTR:
"Frodo...use the Force!"

Quentin Tarantino directs LoTR:
"Bang, bang bang!" "Ahhhh! "What the f***!" "bang!" etc etc.

[Arathorn]

If Spielberg did LOTR: 2 men, an elf, and a dwarf seen riding out of Moria on orcs with hobbits in the baskets in front. Aragorn has a broken whip. There will be more closeups of the balrog in an elongated chase inside moria.

All these won't be the central theme, though. He will probably, instead, focus on the life of one of the Rohirrim or Gondorian soldiers and how tough it is preparing for battle with the orcs. It will also be one big flashback of one survivor who now lives in the 4th age.

[Earniel]

....and the orcs would be riding raptors instead of wargs

[Evenstar]

Originally posted by FrodoFriend
Lots of Disney movies are good, especially the songs!

I agree with you there...I love all of the Disney movies...EXCEPT...The Prince of Egypt...That was an EVIL movie that shouln't be allowed to view in front of children!!!:o

Meanwhile...If LotR was a Disney movie...couldn't you imagine the cast singing "Theres something sweet and almost kind...yet he was mean and he was course and unrefined" to Saruman!!! :p

[FrodoFriend]

Awww, I love that song!

Prince of Egypt evil? Why? A little boring, yeah, but evil? :confused:

[Evenstar]

Originally posted by FrodoFriend
Awww, I love that song!

Prince of Egypt evil? Why? A little boring, yeah, but evil? :confused:

When that mist thing went past to kill all the first borns and you see the little boy skipping with a basket of apples and all of a sudden his hand falls out the door!!! My and my sister were crying and nearly walked out of the theatre!!! That movie made God look really evil and cruel...(sorry if I offended anyone):mad:

[markedel]

God is cruel...it's his job

[Nibs]

I think this is a good thing... get some of you purists all worked up about something that would be far more worse than what has already been changed for the upcoming movies...

Disney actually didn't start out bad at all... Walt himself was quite a good guy... lately, though, they produce nauseating sequels and ridiculous half-hour t.v. shows mimicking movies that have. themselves, done very well (*cough* Alladin *cough*). They make some wonderful feature films, but they promptly corrupt them little tykes that can't tell the difference will get parents to buy the products and watch the shows to boost their ratings...

Oh, and don't even get me started on the Disney channel.

[mirrille]

Originally posted by Evenstar


When that mist thing went past to kill all the first borns and you see the little boy skipping with a basket of apples and all of a sudden his hand falls out the door!!! My and my sister were crying and nearly walked out of the theatre!!! That movie made God look really evil and cruel...(sorry if I offended anyone):mad:

I never saw that movie, but I've read that part in Exodus. And the way it was done in the Bible, God was really cruel. I'm sorry, but that's the way it was told. He only cares about Israelites. Everyone who stand in their way gets "smote", as it were. :(
I don't like the God in the Old Testament. He is not very nice. Not even very fair, but there you go. Hope I haven't offended anyone, but I wouldn't be surprised if i did.

[FrodoFriend]

Eeek! Not another religious discussion! I'm sorry I asked! \

Anywho, LotR Juxtaposition . . . if LotR were made in anime . . . it would be really cool! Ultra-modern, with a hard rock soundtrack. Hey, you never know, it might turn out cool. :)

[markedel]

Religious discussions are actually quite interesting if you can be level-headed.

[Earniel]

Was the Prince of Egypt a diney-movie? I always thought it was a Dreamworks-movie!

[Arathorn]

I was disappointed when it ended right after the parting of the sea. Didn't even get to the 10 Commandments.

[Starr Polish]

Prince of Egypt was NOT a Disney movie. It was made by the same company that made "Anastasia".

I personally liked the movie, but I also knew what was going to happen, with the dying. Yes, I agree that God was cruel in the Old Testament. Having kids must really mellow you out ;) (yeah, y'know, Jesus is His Son). I'm not meaning to offend anyone either,because I happen to be Christian, and more so than just giving myself the title (like a lot of people at my school do)

[Earniel]

Originally posted by Starr Polish
Prince of Egypt was NOT a Disney movie. It was made by the same company that made "Anastasia".

Ah I knew it!

[Menelvagor]

hmmm... guess that explains why I liked Prince of Egypt....

[FrodoFriend]

Ooh! I love Anastasia! It's way better than Prince of Egypt! That's the same company that made Titan A.E. (nother good movie) right?

[samwise of the shire]

First off I have to say this. I tired of everyone thinking that God is cruel and mean and doesn't care about anyone but the Jews. I am honestly tired of that because it's NOT the truth. God has been very merciful to me. And I'm not a Jew. I am a born again,non denominational, Bible beliving Christian with Irish and English and German roots.
Second stop thinking the Egyptians were innocent because they weren't. I'll get to it later

If you call justice CRUEL than putting criminals in jail is cruel. Does God DEMAND a human sacrafice like Molech?A sacrafice where you took a KNIFE and STABBED it INTO the chest of a CHILD and while he/she was still living PULLED the BEATING heart OUT of that childs chest and burned it in front of their parents eyes?NO! And the Egyptians were being PUNISHED. If God is called cruel because he killed Egyptian first borns as a PUNISHMENT for wrong doing(and dont let me get started on what they did wrong. It'd take forever) than what would you call throwing baby Hebrews in the Nile to be drowned and EATEN by CROCODILES just for the sake of Hebrew Population Control? And whats more any Egyptian could JOIN the Hebrews if he was circumsized(sp?)and worshipped the True God of Israel from then on. God is NOT cruel. He is JUST. There is a BIG difference in JUST and CRUEL. What the Aztecs,Druids,Hittites,Ammonites, and Babylonians(to name a few) did to their prisoners,slaves, and even FAMILY members was unjust and CRUEL.
If you call: Sending his son down to Heaven to earth to grow up as a human being with the same temptations we have,to die on the cruelst instrument of death in those times, to destroy the power of Satan and his power over our lives,and to RISE AGAIN a VICTOR cruel than I am glad I serve a cruel God, because he did that for us.
Sam
ps. I liked Anastasia, and did you know that Deep Impact was a Dreamworks production? Even though it wasn't good it still had Elijah Wood in it and I know that's ONE thing Frodo Friend and I BOTH see eye to eye for. I could just pause that movie JUST as he looks his hottest and sit there for HOURS.(J/K)

[FrodoFriend]

Ummm.......okay, I just won't say anything.

Deep Impact was Dreamworks too? I hated that movie! Except Elijah, of course. Dreamworks has a talent for drawing up cute cartoon characters. :D :D :D

[Starr Polish]

Whoohoo Sam! :D

Ooh, I loved Titan A.E. I almost got my hair cut and died like the girl (I cannot for the life of me remember her name)

[Nariel Starfire]

Samwise, please calm down. I'm a believer too, but it seems you're being a little overzealous. However, maybe you're justified (everyone else was being a little judgmental)

The deal is this: The Israelites are God's chosen people. You mess with them, you've got yourself a death wish. They moved to Egypt after the famine and after several generations, a new dynasty of pharaohs took over who knew nothing of Joseph and all them. They took the Israelites captive. Four hundred years after they got to Egypt, GOd decided it was time for the Israelites to go home. The pharaoh, however, disagreed. So God decided to show him who was, well, God. He sent a series of plagues, each one of which mocks a respectively more powerful Egyptian god.... Finally Pharaoh decided to let the Israelites go. BUt then he decided to chase them and get them back... and the rest is in the Bible... (well, so was everything I just said, but maybe that'll clar stuff up).

BTW: Starr you mean Akima (Drew Barrymore)

Lord of the Dance, Lord of the Flies. Lord of the Rings:
-The hobbits end up stranded on a desert island and pass the time by clog dancing.

George Lucas does LOTR
-Saruman: Join me, Gandalf!
-Gandalf: Never! You killed my father!
-Saruman: No, Gandalf. I am your father.
Gandalf: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Disney does LOTR
-Imagine live action disney LOTR:(
BTW: No, it was not his bent knee (seen the movie too many times to believe that one). And on the cover, there was a, um, misdrawn tower.

All the male characters are female and vice versa:
Hey that way Liv Tyler doesn't have to STEAL a man's part. Gandalf would eat a lot more chocolate. Well, come to think of it, they would all be eating chocolate instead of smoking piepeweed all the time. Aragorn would just laugh when Eowyn begs him/her to let him/her go along. Gimli would have a ridged forhead, and no one would say Sam and Frodo were gay, cuz it's okay for girls to act like that with each other. Merry and Pippin would get yelled at more often, and insted of eating all the time, they'd say "What about Jenny Craig?"
"I don't think he knows about Jenny Craig."
"But what about Slim Fast, and Power Bar, and Chub Club, and Martha Stewart, and 24 Hour Fitness, and Lean Cuisine (sp?)? Do you think he knows about those?"
"I wouldn't count on it." two V8s come flying at them instead of apples

[samwise of the shire]

I've got a better idea for George Lucas, actually I got it off of a website but it's really funny:
Gandalf:You shall not PASS!
BALROG:Gandalf...I am your father.
Gandalf:NOOOO...*cracks the bridge in twain.
BALROG:*falls off the bridge*SOOOONNNN!!!
Gandalf:*Reaches down and tries to catch the Balrog*No. FATHER.*breaks down and weeps*
OR...
Frodo starts fighting Gollum near the Cracks of Doom and is all struggling and stuff like that.
Gollum:Hisss Precious, I am hobbitses father.
Frodo:NOOOO!*starts fighting ALOT and mortally woundes Gollum*
suddenly Sauron shows up and starts zapping Frodo, Gollum comes up behind him and throws him over the Cracks of Doom along with the Ring. He falls down.Frodo takes Gollums head in his lap.
Frodo:Father*breaks down and weeps*
Gollum:*weakly*Hsssss. Hobbits...will...forgive...us...precious...son
Frodo:Yes father
Gollum dies and Frodo breaks down weeping.
Now THAT is the making of a REALLY scary movie. It kind of makes you wanna laugh though.
Sam

[Arathorn]

samwise of the shire

I have a good title for that one:
"Not another LOTR Juxstapostion" :p

[Agburanar]

Disney are soooooooo desperate for stories now they're releasing SEQUELS.... Happy ever after doesn't leave much room for a storyline does it?

Tolkien wouldn't have ever let Disney make a mockery of his life's work and neither should we!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhh hhhhh!!!!!!

The thought of it...

[afro-elf]

Sam

can you desist with the proselytism and apologetics.

You and sakata said you would both return to the following thread but never did. can you please keep this thread clear and your move your dogmas here

http://www.tolkientrail.com/entmoot/showthread.php?s=&postid=43618#post43618

[afro-elf]

\PS


Sakata loved your portraits on the tolkien trail.

You are an exceptional artist.

[samwise of the shire]

Thank you for finding that for us Afro but I have to say this and then I'll drop it. I COULD NOT,WILL NOT and CANNOT let comments like that about my GOD and my FAITH go past me like it's nothing. Now that I have my say I will go back to the thread you have given me
Thank you once again
Sam

[Asilynn]

I think it would be WAY scarier if Dreamworks made LotR.

Did anyone see Antz? How about The Road to Eldorado? That was a sick movie....the only way they could rate it PG was if they toned the 'love scene' like WAY down

Asilynn

[afro-elf]

No problem sam.

[Nariel Starfire]

Hey what if Francis Ford Copolla did LotR
I can see it now....

THe Godfather of the RIng...
Gandalf (scratching his chin): eh..ya know, Frodo, the boss... he don't like that you got this.... ehh, ring... He said... eh,....he said he's gonna send 'em after you.... ya know.... they wanna plug you... I think you betta get outa hea.

[mirrille]

Originally posted by samwise of the shire
Thank you for finding that for us Afro but I have to say this and then I'll drop it. I COULD NOT,WILL NOT and CANNOT let comments like that about my GOD and my FAITH go past me like it's nothing. Now that I have my say I will go back to the thread you have given me
Thank you once again
Sam

Well, I was just taking it from the context that "Prince of Egypt" would probably have gotten more complaints if they had made the God to be a nice god that magically made all the little Israelites and Egyptians make up and dance together after declaring peace and everlasting friendship. If they kept him as the god looking out for his chosen people and smiting everyone else, then they would be much truer to the book, and that's generally considered a good thing by purists. (If some people consider that behaviour cruel, it's an opinion. *shrug) I usually side more towards the purists myself. I don't like too much distortion of a story from the source material if it can at all be helped because it's usually made more lame if it's changed. Some people just can't make convincing revisions. For example, if you take out the 10 plagues of Egypt, how can you explain why the Israelites get released? The story has a harder time making sense. So if they kept in the "unpleasant" stuff, good for them! That takes guts.

BTW, Don't watch the cartoon Anastasia. Watch the old version of the same title featuring Ingrid Bergman and Yul Brynner. It's much more interesting, and (dare I say?) intelligent. Of course, at that time, they didn't know whether Anna Korya (sp?)was the real thing or not, so it affects the story.

[Evenstar]

I;m sorry if I offended you Sam...or anyone else...I didn't mean that God was cruel!!! I just thought that that movie was horrible and it scared the bejeezers outta me!!! :D

[Starr Polish]

I still thought the movie was amazing. I went with my younger step sister, who had to have been eight or nine at the time. We both adore that movie. I remember talking to her about it afterwards. We both got the shivers when the sea parted.

[Earniel]

The sea-scene was kinda nice. But then I remembered reading somewhere that the only sea where this could have taken place was the Dead Sea and there are no whales and fish in there. That's why it's called the Dead Sea anyway. So this kind of ruined the scene for me.

[Arathorn]

For me, the best Moses film was the live action "The Ten Commandments (1956) starring Charlton Heston. I still find it impressive how they did the parting of the sea then without CGI. The smallest computer back then will probably fill up a small auditorium and is slower than an old PC.

[Nariel Starfire]

The sea was made out of jello. And anyway, in the '56 version, you can see Charlton Heston wearing a Rolex. It's pretty funny.

[Finrod Felagund]

Originally posted by bropous
Were Disney to have done Lord of the Rings as a film, Tolkien himself would have risen from the grave as a revenging wraith to strike down the studio bosses. Tolkien DESPISED Disney stuff...source "Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien".

However, if the Disney of present day did LotR, Sam and Frodo would be gay, Arwen would be played by Christine Aqquilera and would end up going for Eowyn, Snoop Doggy Dog would rap and make us hurl as Lord of the Nazgul, all characters would spew obscenities and street ebonics with every turn, the Elves would wear football team coats and drive BMWs, and the Palantiri would be replaced with cel phones. Disney now is an abomination and cannot be trusted to turn out a good, much less acceptable for children, film.

[Finrod Felagund]

I think the Rolexwas in Ben-Hur also Charlton Heston.

[Finrod Felagund]

Lord of the Dance, Lord of the Flies. Lord of the Rings:
-The hobbits end up stranded on a desert island and pass the time by clog dancing.

George Lucas does LOTR
-Saruman: Join me, Gandalf!
-Gandalf: Never! You killed my father!
-Saruman: No, Gandalf. I am your father.
Gandalf: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Disney does LOTR
-Imagine live action disney LOTR
BTW: No, it was not his bent knee (seen the movie too many times to believe that one). And on the cover, there was a, um, misdrawn tower.

All the male characters are female and vice versa:
Hey that way Liv Tyler doesn't have to STEAL a man's part. Gandalf would eat a lot more chocolate. Well, come to think of it, they would all be eating chocolate instead of smoking piepeweed all the time. Aragorn would just laugh when Eowyn begs him/her to let him/her go along. Gimli would have a ridged forhead, and no one would say Sam and Frodo were gay, cuz it's okay for girls to act like that with each other. Merry and Pippin would get yelled at more often, and insted of eating all the time, they'd say "What about Jenny Craig?"
"I don't think he knows about Jenny Craig."
"But what about Slim Fast, and Power Bar, and Chub Club, and Martha Stewart, and 24 Hour Fitness, and Lean Cuisine (sp?)? Do you think he knows about those?"
"I wouldn't count on it." two V8s come flying at them instead of apples




I've got a better idea for George Lucas, actually I got it off of a website but it's really funny:
Gandalf:You shall not PASS!
BALROG:Gandalf...I am your father.
Gandalf:NOOOO...*cracks the bridge in twain.
BALROG:*falls off the bridge*SOOOONNNN!!!
Gandalf:*Reaches down and tries to catch the Balrog*No. FATHER.*breaks down and weeps*
OR...
Frodo starts fighting Gollum near the Cracks of Doom and is all struggling and stuff like that.
Gollum:Hisss Precious, I am hobbitses father.
Frodo:NOOOO!*starts fighting ALOT and mortally woundes Gollum*
suddenly Sauron shows up and starts zapping Frodo, Gollum comes up behind him and throws him over the Cracks of Doom along with the Ring. He falls down.Frodo takes Gollums head in his lap.
Frodo:Father*breaks down and weeps*
Gollum:*weakly*Hsssss. Hobbits...will...forgive...us...precious...son
Frodo:Yes father
Gollum dies and Frodo breaks down weeping.
Now THAT is the making of a REALLY scary movie. It kind of makes you wanna laugh though.


Hey what if Francis Ford Copolla did LotR
I can see it now....

THe Godfather of the RIng...
Gandalf (scratching his chin): eh..ya know, Frodo, the boss... he don't like that you got this.... ehh, ring... He said... eh,....he said he's gonna send 'em after you.... ya know.... they wanna plug you... I think you betta get outa hea.

[Finrod Felagund]

I didn't write those but they were the funniest ones that I read

[Nariel Starfire]

thanks finrod.. at least someone appreciates my work.

And in Ben-Hur, you can see a red camaro in the background...