More Python(Monty) fun!

[ringbearer]

Go here (http://www.stone-dead.asn.au/index.html) for a great Monty Python site!:D

The link is now dead...sorry!

[CardenIAntauraNauco]

He/She (ringbearer) is right. That's a great site. I have to post this one. Its not as funny to just read it but its still pretty funny

The cast:

INSPECTOR PRALINE
John Cleese
SUPERINTENDENT PARROT
Graham Chapman
MR. MILTON
Terry Jones
BBC ANNOUNCER
John Cleese



The sketch:

(Cut to Inspector Praline.)
Praline: Hello again. I am at present still on film, but in a few seconds I shall be appearing in the studio. Thank you.

(Cut to studio. A door opens. Inspector Praline looks round door. )

Inspector Praline: (to camera) Hello. (he walks in followed by Superintendent Parrot and goes to desk) Mr Milton? You are sole proprietor and owner of the Whizzo Chocolate Company?



Milton: I am.

Praline: Superintendent Parrot and I are from the hygiene squad. We want to have a word with you about your box of chocolates entified The Whizzo Quality Assortment.

Milton: Ah, yes.

Praline: (producing box of chocolates) If I may begin at the beginning. First there is the cherry fondue. This is extremely nasty, but we can't prosecute you for that.

Milton: Agreed.

Praline: Next we have number four, 'crunchy frog'.

Milton: Ah, yes.

Praline: Am I right in thinking there's a real frog in here?

Milton: Yes. A little one.

Praline: What sort of frog?

Milton: A dead frog.

Praline: Is it cooked?

Milton: No.

Praline: What, a raw frog?

(Superintendent Parrot looks increasingly queasy.)

Milton: We use only the finest baby frogs, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose.



Praline: That's as maybe, it's still a frog.

Milton: What else?

Praline: Well don't you even take the bones out?

Milton: If we took the bones out it wouldn't be crunchy would it?

Praline: Superintendent Parrot ate one of those.

Parrot: Excuse me a moment. (exits hurriedly)

Milton: It says 'crunchy frog' quite clearly.

Praline: Well, the superintendent thought it was an almond whirl. People won't expect there to be a frog in there. They're bound to think it's some form of mock frog.

Milton: (insulted) Mock frog? We use no artificial preservatives or additives of any kind!

Praline: Nevertheless, I must warn you that in future you should delete the words 'crunchy frog', and replace them with the legend 'crunchy raw unboned real dead frog', if you want to avoid prosecution.

Milton: What about our sales?

Praline: I'm not interested in your sales, I have to protect the general public. Now how about this one. (superintendent enters) It was number five, wasn't it? (superintendent nods) Number five, ram's bladder cup. (exit superintendent) What kind of confection is this?

Milton: We use choicest juicy chunks of fresh Cornish ram's bladder, emptied, steamed, flavoured with sesame seeds whipped into a fondue and garnished with lark's vomit.

Praline: Lark's vomit?

Milton: Correct.

Praline: Well it don't say nothing about that here.

Milton: Oh yes it does, on the bottom of the box, after monosodium glutawate.

Praline: (looking) Well I hardly think this is good enough. I think it would be more appropriate if the box bore a large red label warning lark's vomit.

Milton: Our sales would plummet.

Praline: Well why don't you move into more conventional areas of confectionery, like praline or lime cream; a very popular flavour I'm led to understand. (superintendent enters) I mean look at this one, 'cockroach cluster', (superintendent exits) 'anthrax ripple'. What's this one, 'spring surprise'?

Milton: Ah - now, that's our speciality - covered with darkest creamy chocolate. When you pop it in your mouth steel bolts spring out and plunge straight through-both cheeks.

Praline: Well where's the pleasure in that?



If people place a nice chocky in their mouth, they don't want their cheeks pierced. In any case this is an inadequate description of the sweetmeat. I shall have to ask you to accompany me to the station.

Milton: (getting up from desk and being led away) It's a fair cop.

Praline: Stop talking to the camera.

Milton: I'm sorry.

(Superintendent Parrot enters the room as Inspector Praline and Milton leave, and addresses the camera.)

Parrot: If only the general public would take more care when buying its sweeties, it would reduce the number of man-hours lost to the nation and they would spend less time having their stomachs pumped and sitting around in public lavatories.

Announcer: The BBC would like to apologize for the extremely poor quality of the next announcement, only he's not at all well.

[Thorongil]

Tonight on 'Its the Mind' We shall be discussing the Phenomena of deja Vu........




Tonight on 'Its the Mind' we shall be discussing the phenomena of Deja vu..........




Tonight on...........ARRGGHHHH

[TinuvielChild]

teeheehee..these funny

[StrawberryIcecream]

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

Anyone heard the Monty Python sound track?

I bet you they won't play this song on the radio,
I bet you they won't play this ******* song,


*realises there are quite young mooters around*

ummm.... listen to it for yourself!

[aldesign]

i am Monty Python MAD!!

the Holy-Grail is in my top 3 films of all time.

and Life of Brian is pretty high up aswell.


The Meaning of Life however, was not their best Peice of work.

andy

[Glorious Glorfindel]

oh my god aldesign! couldn't agree more! i love holy grail and life of brian. i have seen that film WAY to many times though, as i can just about quote it word for word! anyhow, that link is brilliant ringbearer! it has all the lyrics and stuff from the album. thank you so much!
i personally like the string and the bookshop sketches best of all!

[Earniel]

Fetchez la vache! moooooooooooooooo

[TinuvielChild]

something scary:i have seen holy grail but once, and can quote multiple scenes word-for-word. :)

[aldesign]

Originally posted by Eärniel
Fetchez la vache! moooooooooooooooo


hehehehehe
bbooodooink(catapult sound)..... MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

what the..... .RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY! RUN AWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!



Knight: I have a cunning plan.

French bloke: *looks out over landscape

Auther and Kinights: *wheel up a giant Rabbit, through thr doors

French: *collect the rabbit

Knight: Now, we wait till night fall, then myself, Lancellot, and bevadire, and I, will jump out of the rabbit and catch them completely by surprise.

Auther: U wot?

Knight: Now, we wait till night fall, then myself, Lancellot and ...... ......... *trails off
Well what if we build a giant badger???


ps. (not the best bit of Holy grail, but it seemed to continu the converstion)
andy

[TinuvielChild]

Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person! I blow my nose in your general direction!

[Earniel]

Your mother was a hamster!

[TinuvielChild]

and your father smelt of Elderberries! :D

[Imladris]

Monty Python is very humorous... but i do prefer Fawlty Towers. Notice the connection?
Mmhm- John Cleese.(fave actor)

[aldesign]

Hi Imladris, good to see another Brit here.

yeah, us Brits tend to love Cleese and all his comedy,
Fawlty towers is ALWAYS voted best Sitcom ever!, over here in England.
it tends to beat Only Fools & Horses, Open All Hours, and other greats in recent polls.

andy

[Glorious Glorfindel]

i like john cleese too! i have the fawlty towers collection all on video, they are soooo hilarious! have you seen a fish called wonder? that has john cleese in it too, its not THAT hilarious but its still quite amusing.

[aldesign]

Yeah man, Fish Called Wonda

that was GREAT!!!!!!!!, and michael Palin was in it, he played a bloke with a bad stutter, oh dude, that was so funny!

andy

[Glorious Glorfindel]

tee hee! michael palin! tee hee. when he gets teased with the chips up his nose and the fish! ha ha ha.

[aldesign]

lol Glorfindal, yeah, thats like the PICTURE of the movei, heheh chips up the nose,
oh god im kracking up just thinking....... hahah hahaha

[Imladris]

Yeah John Cleese and Fawlty Towers are brilliant, in fact...thread on the way...

[StrawberryIcecream]

anyone who has uk paramount then you and i are in for a treat beacuse all next weekend it is the MONTY PYTHON WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D :D :D

[aldesign]

sweeet, not this weekend? 20/21st, next one right?

andy

[ringbearer]

Originally posted by Glorious Glorfindel
oh my god aldesign! couldn't agree more! i love holy grail and life of brian. i have seen that film WAY to many times though, as i can just about quote it word for word! anyhow, that link is brilliant ringbearer! it has all the lyrics and stuff from the album. thank you so much!
i personally like the string and the bookshop sketches best of all!

Has anyone tried the quizzes on the site? They are a blast!:D

[Lady of Darkness]

Mony Python and the Holy Grail rocks and that is all I have to say.:) :D :) :D

[Elfmaster XK]

I have 4 things to say....

1/ NI!!!

2/ Ecky ecky pting.....

3/ I an the messiah!!

4/ i LOVE monty python!!!!

[StrawberryIcecream]

And oh! The ministry of silly walks!!!

Did anyone see the Monty Python BBC special a couple of months ago where michael palin went back to all the old places they filmed at and he gave them all plaques!?

[Rosie-Lass]

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty little boy!

[StrawberryIcecream]

there is no little in that phrase.

Jabberwockey 1 tonight!!!!!!!! And a reunion special!!!!!! woo hooo! *strawberry does little dance*

[Glorious Glorfindel]

'bring us a shrubbery! but not the ones with little purple bits on it. maybe little wite fencing. bring us a shrubberyyyyyy'
those who don't remember this from holy grail, imagine a seriously camp voice, jonh inman maybe, and say it out loud. tee hee.
ethel the ardvark goes quantity surveying. I WANT THAT BOOK! and of course, collins complete guide of british birds. the EXCEPATED version. im sure that's spelt wrong, but im thick, i have an excuse!

[Elfmaster XK]

Originally posted by StrawberryIcecream
there is no little in that phrase.

Jabberwockey 1 tonight!!!!!!!! And a reunion special!!!!!! woo hooo! *strawberry does little dance*

* joins strawberry in little dance and begins to shout*

Ni! Ni! We are the knights who saaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy NI!

Wow. the holy grail is sacred.

[Glorious Glorfindel]

couldn't agree more about the sacred part elfmaster!!! i think monty python should be shown at schools as part of the laughter curriculum. there should be a whole lesson devoted to laughter and funny things, or hysterically brilliant things like monty python!

[Elfmaster XK]

Originally posted by Glorious Glorfindel
couldn't agree more about the sacred part elfmaster!!! i think monty python should be shown at schools as part of the laughter curriculum. there should be a whole lesson devoted to laughter and funny things, or hysterically brilliant things like monty python!

Well, once in history we watched 'the life of brian.'

Always look on the bright side of death
Just before you take your terminale breath...*continues to sing*

[StrawberryIcecream]

Originally posted by Glorious Glorfindel
couldn't agree more about the sacred part elfmaster!!! i think monty python should be shown at schools as part of the laughter curriculum. there should be a whole lesson devoted to laughter and funny things, or hysterically brilliant things like monty python!

There are GG. Watching Miss Heinl attempt to control us!

Anyway Jabberwockey!!! hee hee hee hee hee hee!

[Snowdog]

Yellowbeard!

[gimli7410]

i have been meaning to rent life of brian but i can never find it because someone always gets it before me:mad:

[Dreran the Green]

I just saw life of brian for the first time recently, and its...well its by the Python guys, do I have to say more?:p

Does anyone remember the Dennis Moore sketch? My favorite! Your life or your lupins, my lord!:D

[Insidious Rex]

Originally posted by aldesign
i am Monty Python MAD!!

the Holy-Grail is in my top 3 films of all time.

and Life of Brian is pretty high up aswell.


The Meaning of Life however, was not their best Peice of work.

andy

the life of brian is a work of seminal genious. unprecedented in scope and delivery. meaning of life is a great film what are you talking about. no its not life of brian but its hilarious and thick with meaning in the typical python way. a few sketches are weak but many are simply unbelievably hilarious. the sex ed class with john cleese? the sperm song sketch? the corporate pirates trailer. absolutely brilliant stuff. may we have your liver then?

[Lady of Darkness]

Flying Circus. that. is. insane.
especially the flag-coded Wuthering Heights....o.m.g. wow....HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!
personally, I believe that the Holy Grail was the funniest..still think that and I've seen it a billion times....lol

LoD