Green Eggs and Cram

[easterlinge]

Gollum: That Sam-I-am!! That Sam-I-am!! I do not like that Sam-I-am!!

Samwise: Do you like green eggs and cram?

Gollum: I do not like green eggs and cram, I do not like them Sam-I-am!!

Samwise: Would you eat it on a shelf? Would you eat it with an Elf?


(continue.......)

[Wayfarer]

Gollum: "No! Not on a shelf! Not With an elf! We does not like them, Sam I am, we does not like Green Eggs and Cram!

Samwise: Would you eat them here or there, if I picked out all the hair?

Gollum: We will not eat them here or there! We will not eat them anywhere! We do not like them, sam I am! We do not like Green Eggs and Cram!

Samwise: Will you eat them in a hole? Would you, could you, in a hole?

[Strange-Looking Lurker]

Gollum: I would not eat them in a hole! I would, could not, Sam I am!

Sam: Would you eat them on a sword? Would you eat them placed on a board?

[afro-elf]

Gollum: "No! Not on a sword! Not on a board! We does not like them, Sam I am, we does not like Green Eggs and Cram!

Sam: Would you eat them on a dragon's hoard? Would you eat them with the Nazgul Lord?

[cee2lee2]

Gollum: No! Not on a hoard! Not with a lord. We does not like them, Sam I Am, we does not like Green Eggs and Cram!

Samwise: Would you eat them in the Prancing Pony tavern? Would you eat them in a cold, dark cavern?

[easterlinge]

Gollum:
We won't eat in a tavern
We won't eat in a cold dark cavern!!
We won't eat them for lunch or tea
Nassssty Hobbitses, let us be!!

Samwise:
Would eat it with a fork?
Would you share it with an Orc?

[Strange-Looking Lurker]

Gollum: This is not good, this is not right! We'll be stuck talking like this all night! So listen to this, and hear me say, I would not eat them any day!

Sam: But you would like it, you really would! Especially in Fangorn Wood!

[Finmandos12]

Gollum- No, no not in a wood. I

Sam- How about at night? Would you eat them with a barrow wight?

[Wayfarer]

Gollum: AAAAHHHHHH! Not In the night! Not with a wight! We will not eat them Sam I Am, we do Not like green Eggs and Cram!

Samwise: Would You eat them in a tree? Would you eat them by the sea?

Gollum *furious*: NOT IN A TREE! NOT BY THE SEA! SAM I AM YOU LET ME BE! We will not eats them sam I am, We does not like Green Eggs and Cram!

Sam: Would you, could you, on a dish? Would you eat them with some fish?

Gollum *drooling*: Fish?... No! We will not eat them sam I am! we does not like green eggs and cram!

Samwise: Would you...

Gollum *interrupting*: We does not like green eggs and cram! But we will eat _You_, sam I am! *jumps on samwise*

*they struggle*

*messy eating*

Gollum *picking up green eggs and cram*: Hmmm...

*takes a big bite*

Gollum: Oh yes, We likes green eggs and cram! We likes them, likes them, sam I am?

Sam?

...

[Strange-Looking Lurker]

That a....umm...interesting end!


ROFLOL!!!

[cee2lee2]

:D This was fun!

[easterlinge]

Very interesting ending...... a bit early, though. I was hoping it would go on a bit longer.....

:D :D :D :D

What other Tolkien-Dr. Seuss spoofs can we come up with?

[Renille]

OH NO! I missed out on everything !!! And I love Dr. Suess. (sob) Oh well...can't be helped...I (sniff) suppose...

[cee2lee2]

Go ahead and start another thread! Base it on another Seuss rhyme pattern. I bet you'll get some folks to join the fun :)

[easterlinge]

Let's see..... the other rhyming patterns are a bit more difficult..... but the titles are interesting:

The Wizard in the Hat

The Wizard in the Hat Comes Back

One Ring, Two Ring, Red Ring, Blue Ring

[anduin]

*hint* You may want to save some of that cleaverness....for later....not at liberty to say *hint*

[cee2lee2]

oooooh! Hints! :D

[Ñólendil]

Yes, it rings of a mystery, doesn't it?

[easterlinge]

Wonder if we coukd get this posted on the Barrowdowns fanfic? :)

If "Dude, where's my Ring" can get away with sillyness....

[Agburanar]

aaw, I missed all of that. Start another one, how the Noser stole Precious?

[Nariel Starfire]

Anybody ever read "there's a wocket in my pocket"?
I'll start it off

DId you ever see a dwarf on a warf?

Or an elf on a shelf?

I really like the wizard in my gizzard.

And what's really nice is the Ent in my tent...

[afro-elf]

did you see merry on a ferry?


did you think pippin was trippin?

Did you see sam eating ham?

did you see frodo killing the dodo?


But on legolas i'll have to pass

[Arathorn]

Did yoo see Smeagol kill Deagol?

And what of Bill beside the hill?

Or the Balrog Eating an olog?

Or Balin son of Fundin?

Ah, the sweet elanor of the the Pelanor

That disgust them orcs without corks...

[eowyn144]

sorry to interupt but i found thid really good dr.deuss poemy thing and this seemed like the righ thread to post it on.

(Scene: Bag End, after Bilbo’s party)
GANDALF:
That Samwise-Sam! That Samwise-Sam!
I do not like that Samwise-Sam!
FRODO:
Would you like some bread and jam?
GANDALF:
I do not want your bread and jam.
I'm busy being mad at Sam.
He likes to sneak. He likes to spy.
I’ll grind him up for hobbit pie!
FRODO:
Oh, do not grind him up for pie!
He is a pretty handy guy.
He mows my grass. He paints my gate.
He is my friend. We both are straight.
GANDALF:
Well, then, I will not grind up Sam!
Bring me bread, and bring me jam!
We’ll talk about another thing.
Tell me, do you have the Ring?
FRODO:
I have the Ring. I have It here.
But, mercy me! Oh, dear! Oh, dear!
I fear the Ring is very bad,
The golden ring that Bilbo had!
Tell me, will you take the Ring?
GANDALF:
I will not take that evil thing!
FRODO:
Would you, could you, by the fire?
Would you, could you, in the Shire?
GANDALF:
I would not, could not, by the fire.
I would not, could not, in the Shire.
FRODO:
Would you, could you, in a tree?
Would you, on the road to Bree?
Would you, with an orc or troll?
Would you, in a hobbit-hole?
GANDALF:
I would not, could not, in a tree.
I would not, on the road to Bree.
I would not, with an orc or troll.
I would not, in a hobbit-hole.
I will not take It here or there,
I will not take It anywhere!
For It is bad. It’s as you say.
You’ll have to take that Ring away
And throw it in the Cracks of Doom!
FRODO:
I’ll need a friend. But who, or whom?
(Gandalf produces Sam, who has been spying)
SAM:
Oh, Master! Master! Sam is here!
He’ll wash me down with beer, I fear!
I do not wish to be a pie!
GANDALF:
I will not eat you, little spy!
But I will send you far away.
You both will go away today.
You’ll go to Bree. A man is there.
The man looks foul. The man feels fair.
He’ll lead you both, if all goes well,
To meet the elves in Rivendell.
SAM:
Oh, Master! We will meet the elves!
We’ll get to meet the elves ourselves
And hear them sing their elven songs!
We’ll hear them bong their elven-gongs
And strum their elven loola-lutes!
They’ll hoot their elven hooty-toots!
GANDALF:
I hope you'll hear those loola-lutes
And hear the hoots of hooty-toots!
But go with care. To be a pie
Is better than to meet the Eye!
The Eye is mean. The Eye is red.
He rules nine Riders. They are dead.
They’ll try to make you dead, as well.
But will they catch you? Time will tell!
FRODO:
Oh, dear! Oh, dear! This is a mess!
We’ll have to fix this mess, I guess.
So we will go, just Sam and me.
And what will happen? We will see!
(Fade)

u like?

p.s also cannot think of nething to ryhme with legolas!

[Earenya]

That was great!!!

I'll try to continue the wocket one...

Did you see Gollum acting solemn

when a ring he did fling;

Then came a hobbit who chose not to drop it

And away he ran from scary gollum man....

OK, so I TOTATLLY departed from the rhyme scheme!! But as for Legolas, how about:


Or Legolas by the ships' mast?

eh, its close!

[Arathorn]

I like that one. Hopefully, I can do something longer than a limerick.:)

[afro-elf]

if liv tyler really was an Elf

i'd have to kill myself

[Agburanar]

Peter Jackson's
Efforts lack some
Good bits
But we'll call it quits
Cos though we wish the books he'd read
This isn't a movie critic thread!

[afro-elf]

for far too long this thread has been down
whilst not someone pick up the lyrical crown?

[Khamûl]

I've never done this before
perhaps my rhymes won't be a bore

Where in Middle Earth did the Entwives go?
People wonder about that so
Every day more theories grow
But Tolkien's the only one that really knows.

I hope that's not too bad. I'm a poet and just didn't know it.:D

[Faramir]

That was very funny! It gave me a good laugh. Nice job everyone!
I just wish it could've lasted longer...

[afro-elf]

Will not someone post?
Rescue this thread like the Valinor host
Will it stay dead like a Dunhorrow Ghost?

[Wayfarer]

Frodo: I wish the ring had never come to me!

Gandalf: I'm telling you ducky, you're really quite lucky. Those ring wraiths are much more unlucky than you. ;)

[afro-elf]

Legolas and gimli
a wonder pair
a bristly beard
and flowing hair

despite the rumours
they are not gay
jest them not
or with bow and axe they will slay

Gandalf Gandalf your beard's so white
tell us of you Balrog fight?
we fought day we fought night
from the bottomless pit to the heightest height
It was a fell creature of evil and fright
Yet, no weakling am I, I too posses might
With Glamring bright
I fought the blight
It was more powerful than a Barrow wight
I sufffered wounds of claw and bite


I'm too tired to finish

[FrodoFriend]

eowyn144, I hereby present with the Halfwit Badge of Humor!!!

*hands over badge with picture of a Hobbit with a large question mark on his head and a confused look on his face*

Congratulations!!

[Coconut Ent]

I don't suppose you've heard of "Orc in Socks"?

It's a bit too twongue twistery though....

I think the Green Eggs and Cram tale should be a bit longer. There's loads of Tolkien stuff not yet mentioned.

Examples:

Would you eat with an Uruk?
Or would you eat it with Ugluk?

In a hole?
Or perhaps Cirith Ungol?

Don't you like it anymore?
Won't you dine with Denethor?

Would you eat it East or West?
Or share with Michael Martinez? :rolleyes: :D

[afro-elf]

Welcome to the moot cocount ent.
as you can see from my number of post I hang out more here than xenite.

[Fimbrethil]

I don't if this thread is dead or not I came hear through a link in one of the other forums...but I wanna do the red fish blue fish one. Just hang in there with me.

Frodo: One Ring.
Galdriel: Two Ring.
Gandalf:Red Ring.
Nazgul: Dead Ring.
*throws him out*
Elrond: Blue Ring.

Gimli: One Orc.
Legolas: Two Orc.
Aragorn:Red Orc.
Eowyn: Blue Orc.

Merry: One Ent.
Pippin:Two Ent.
Sauromon: Red Ent.
Grima: Blue Ent.

I'm done now.