The Script

[hama]

In setting up The One Ring Musical site here at Tolkien Trail, I suggested to Ben that I provide him with new scenes from the script periodically which he would replace so that the site would not become to unwieldly. I had hoped that pages from the actual script in progress might provide for some interesting and lively discussion as to what I cut out, left in, adapted and outright stole etc.

I would like to openly invite any and all of you who have thoughts, questions or concerns to discuss them here. For instance, I had originally intended to begin the show with the Council of Elrond. It seemed to be the logical starting point as all the major characters are introduced, the history of the ring is revealed and the basic plot lines for the balance of the show are put in place.

However, during re-writes I realized that more had to done to give the audience at least a small sense of the Shire, and perhaps more importantly the relationships between major characters such as Gandalf and Frodo, Frodo and Sam and to a lesser extent Frodo and Bilbo.

Also I assumed my choice to include Eowyn at the Council might have raised some eyebrows. While I don't think it is quite as egregious as Peter Jackson's purported expansion of Arwen's character in the movies, as Eowyn is the only major female role in the musical and plays a significant role visa vis her relationships with Theosen, Aragorn and Faramir, I felt it was important to establish her character early on.

Just some of my thoughts. If anyone is interested in looking at Act One, Scene One and commenting, just click onThe Script (http://www.tolkientrail.com/theoneringmusical/script.shtml) and then return here.

[Elven Warrior Maiden]

Sorry if I'm bugging you, answering each thread, but I can't help it. When I read the first part of the script, I got a bit confused as to what happened to most of the journey to Rivendell. When I asked my dad, he said it would have to be cut down, so it wouldn't be to long. I think Eowyn coming in at the beginning is a good idea. I have a question. Is all the writing in capital letters in the script songs that aren't on the lyrics page?

Put the next part on soon!


From your faithful annoying person.

[hama]

First, you have a very smart father. Adapting Tolkien's work down to a 3 hour musical has been a huge challenge which has involved a lot of choices that others might not have made. I happen to think that Return of the King is the most adaptable part of the script and concentrated my efforts there.

Second, the ALL CAPITALS portion of the script is for lyrics whether they are in the lyrics section or not. That is simply how the script or libretto of a musical is written. It tells the reader that "this part is sung."

Third, no one expressing an interest in my work is ever annoying. Thank you so much.

[Elven Warrior Maiden]

Thanks for answering. I just had an idea. I was thinking that perhaps Merry and Pippin might have bigger parts. They're such interesting characters, and I was always drawn to them. So have all my other friends who have read the books. Except Jess, who likes Merry, but thinks Pippin is an absolute idiot. But I've always liked Pippin best.

[hama]

Merry and Pippin's roles definitely grow throughout the show. While they never achieve the prominence as they do in the book. the scene with Pippin stealing the Palantir and Merry's relationship as a squire to Theoden are pivotal to the plot and the show. In the original draft of the script, Pippin's relationship with Beregond in Minas Tirith was also much larger. Unfortunately I had to cut much of it out for reasons of time.

Hopefully you'll see more as we add scenes to the script here.

[Elven Warrior Maiden]

How are you going with writing the script, hama? Where are you up to?

[hama]

I actually have the entire script written. Note I did not say finished. I am on my fifth full rewrite. We are only adding scenes to the site slowly.

[hama]

Speaking of the script...the webmaster here as added Act One Scene Two to THE SCRIPT section of the site. Please check it out and let me know what you think. THE SCRIPT (http://www.tolkientrail.com/theoneringmusical/script.shtml)

[Elven Warrior Maiden]

That's so good! I really like it the way Legalas and Gimli snipe at eachother like that. They have a little bit of a go at eachother in the books, but in the fellowship, most of them only just met eachother, and they can't be friends staight away, especialy Dwarves and Elves. People aren't perfect. I'm glad you are putting that in. And it's good that Pippin trips over a chain to fall into the hole, instead of being "mysteriously attracted" to it like the book. I think you're doing a terrific job!

[hama]

Well thank you. As for Gimli and Legolas sniping at each other I focused on that for two reasons. First it provides a bit of comedy in what is otherwise a very somber and serious piece. Second, and most importantly, I think their initial dislike of each other makes the friendship that grows between them throughout the show that much more powerful.

[Elven Warrior Maiden]

Some people say that The Lord of the Rings is boring when they haven't read it. If people saw "The One Ring", would you like them to want to read the book if they liked the musical a lot?

[hama]

Yes obviously I would hope those who hadn't read LotR would be curious enough about it after seeing The One Ring to read the trilogy. While if only a small percentage of those who have read LotR chose to see the show it would be a major hit by Broadway standards. However, like Peter Jackson, I hope to attract non Tolkien fans as well as devoted reader. I also hope to introduce Tolkien fans who may not have ever attended a Broadway play or musical to discover that there is magic in theater as well as Middle Earth.

[Elven Warrior Maiden]

I know this is getting off the subject of the musical, but are you looking forward to the movie? I am. Some of my favorite actors are in it. I love almost anything that has to do with the Lord of the Rings.

[hama]

Looking forward to the movies? Absolutely! I can't wait. I intend to see the first showing in my area...I take my kids to the movies all the time and they always look to my reaction if there isn't a LotR trailer in the previews....

[Elven Warrior Maiden]

Same with me, except if I don't see a Lord of the Rings ad, my family doesn't have to look for my reaction.

[Renille]

I haven't been to the movies since Disney's "Atlantis," so I've never seen a preview for the movie. (sigh)

[hama]

Elements of the movie trailers get my heart pounding...The fellowships attempt on Calhadras (sp?) The Battlof Pelennor Fields and perhaps most stirring....Gandalf asking Frodo..."Are not you afraid?" Frodo "Yes." Gandalf "Not enough...not nearly enough."

[Elven Warrior Maiden]

Have you seen the newest trailer? It's so scary! With one funny bit. You know when Pippin drops the stone in the well? In the movie, it's an entire skeleten :) Go to www.thelordoftherings.com. to see the theatrical trailer.

(I think thats the right address)

[Elven Warrior Maiden]

Sorry, wrong address. The real one is:

http://www.lordoftherings.net/index_realchannel.html



(Hope)

[Elven Warrior Maiden]

Yep, it's the right one.

[hama]

Yep that is the right address. I tried to downlooad the software to view it but it took to long. I will get around to it at some point. I'm just living off the trailers I see in the theatres right now. I've already made my plans for december 18th and 19th. A day of waiting and then seeing the film 4 or five times...

[Serena]

I read what you've posted of the script, and I like it, even if it does seem a tad cut up. There's only so much you can transfer into a play.

Can you post the next scene soon, please? I'm hooked!

[hama]

Wow. Thanks, I am glad you're hooked! I'll send Ben, the webmaster here Scene Three and I am sure he'll get it up on the site as soon as his schedule allows.

As to your comment that it seems cut up, is that given your knowledge of the source material or does the script itself. as written seem choppy or lacking in flow?

[Serena]

It's just my knowledge of the source material. The writing itself is cool. I just wish we'd seen more of rivendell, but I know stuff has to get cut. I'd like to see something with the fight at the ford though.

Thanks!

[hama]

Thanks for the compliment. Also thank you for understanding that some things have to be cut. Of course the reasons things have to cut differ. I made certain choices based on my opinion that portions of the book were not essential to the plot and could be cut in the interest of time. In other instances, scenes were cut becuase I could not imagine how to properly convey the power and dynamism of the scene on stage. I think the "Flight to the Ford" would qualify as the latter. Dark Riders...How do I put horses on stage? The flood? How do I convey that through stage craft?

I actually put back some of the scene from Rivendell, specifically Frodo and Bilbo's parting and Bilbo giving Frodo Sting and his Mithrin Mail. I think it allows the audience to get a better sense of Frodo and his connection to Bilbo and the Shire.

[Agburanar]

Hmm, horses and floods. Did you make the musical naturalistic? In symbolic terms it would have been good to have some very scary Nazgul watching over the whole play from somewhere up near the proscenium. You could have some nice lighting and lazer effects to make them really scary, perhaps put them behind gauzes and reveal them when the ring grows really strong?

This may have been asked already, but why is Eowyn at the council in Rivendell?

How would the Balrog be done? It would have to be huge. Could you get some cold fire and literally having a flaming creature, perhaps a wire frame or something? Sorry, I'm gonna be a set designer when I've left college!

[hama]

Agburanar,

A naturalistic view? I am not quite sure what you mean. I just couldn't figure out how to bring floods, horses, etc. to the stage.

As far as the Nazgul over looking the stage, I originally wrote act one scene one with Sauron overlooking the stage and even speaking/singing and commenting on the action that is about to unfold.

No you are actually about the first, to my recollection, to specifically ask about Eowyn being at the Council of Elrond. LOTR is a male dominated story. Eowyn's relationship with Aragorn and more importantly with Faramir is a huge part of Act Two. I felt it was necessary to introduce and establish Eowyn as a character early in the show in order to make her presence in the second act make sense. It is certainly no more incongruous than having Arwen play such a large role in Peter Jackson's movies...

[Agburanar]

No, I can see the reasons for that. I just felt it was a little obscure that Rohan was seeking help from Rivendell whilst Theoden was under the influence of Wormtongue, or is he not in the musical?

[Agburanar]

Hama: I can't seem to e-mail you through the entmoot so here are some of my ideas:


Did you have a particular theatre in mind? If so, have you got a stage and auditorium plan? It helps design work no end if there’s a plan to work to! I’ve tried generating some ideas and fitting the scenes into a tight set is not easy! I’ve come up with two possible ways.

My first idea was to have a steep rake at the back of the stage from which smaller articles of scenery, Balin’s tomb, the Mirror of Galadriel etc. can be folded. This section would then rise to reveal larger scenic elements, Bag End, Rivendell etc. Behind the rake would be another platform which would normally be raised to the height of a normal backcloth. The Nazgul could stand on this and be lowered into view in front of a staring lidless eye. Whilst this allows most of the scenic elements to be used, the use of ‘flat levels’ (lines parallel to the front of the stage) does not make the scenery look exciting. I prefer my second plan which is as follows:

A central circle on the stage is able to rotate and raise, allowing whole sets to appear from below the stage. Coupled with external scenery this could effectively build and strike large set pieces in seconds. In addition the platform for the Nazgul could remain and other pieces of set could move in. The idea I had for a particularly nice scene is Moria. As the fellowship enter the dwarven city the central column rises to reveal a corridor in Moria (complete with well?). As the company press on to Balin’s tomb the central circle rotates to reveal Balin’s tomb on the other side of the revolve. Carefully focussed lighting reveals the events in the chamber as the orcs attack. Whilst the rest of the stage is in Darkness a large set of steps appears SL, slideing into position level with the top of the rise. From above the proscenium two platforms linked by the Bridge of Khazad Dum descend to about halfway up the pros. and join up to the staircase. This way the battle for the bridge unfolds above most of the audience, giving a suitable sense of scale. As Gandalf holds the door in Mazarbul the rest of the company rush to the SL platform, there they are joined by Gandalf and together they cross the bridge. As they reach the other side a series of nozzles on the SL platform spout fire (have to look at health and safety for this) to symbolise the Balrog. When Gandalf and the Balrog fall, the bridge and SL platform fly back up to the flies and the staircase vanishes SL. The revolve sinks back into the stage. All this is unseen as a single spotlight focusses on the remaining fellowship leaning over the edge of the SR platform, staring into the dark abyss.

In answer to your quiery about naturalsim and styalism, the difference can be illustrated as follows:

SCENARIO: Frodo and the others are attacked at Weathertop.

NATURALISTIC: The Black Riders enter, towering over the other characters. One of them wields a Morgul knife. Frodo puts on the ring and the Ringwraiths throw off their cloaks, revealing their true forms, and attack Frodo, wounding him before being driven off.

STYALISTIC: As the fellowship crouch centre stage a back platform descends revealing the Black Riders. They have their backs to the audience. Frodo is scared by their prescence and puts on the ring, at which point the Ringwraiths turn around and the panel behind them glows with the symbol of the great eye. One of the wraiths points a knife at Frodo who falls. Then the platform ascends again

Naturalistic staging makes the action clearer but more chaotic and does not clearly separate the characters. Styalistic staging gives the Ringwraiths a more sinister, powerful prescence.

I hope this has given you an indication of some of my ideas. Obviously there’s a long way to go, I’d like to get some orcs attacking through the audience for the Battle of the Pelennor fields... I’ll try to send some sketches but my scanner does not produce images of the most outstanding quality!

[Elven Warrior Maiden]

I've hardly been able to go on, we've been having lots of assignments and using the internet for work. I am, however able to make a brief note:
hama, how is everything going with The One Ring?
I've missed coming on
And if I can't come back on before Christmas, I wish you (everyone bothering to read this) a Merry Christmas.

(The Lord of the Rings Movie comes out the day After Christmas here!)

[hama]

Agburanur,

I apologize for missing a very insightful comment on your part. That is about Wormtounge not being in the musical. You are right. He is not. After I made the decision to cut out Saruman and the scene at Isengard, it was not too great a leap to cut Wormtongue. I think that he is old and that the threat of Sauron is enough to cast a shadow over him which Gandalf relieves.

And Elven Maiden...you absence has been noted and your presence missed. There is slow steady progress. The orchestrations for about six songs are done and we hope to record the orchestr tracks by years end. I continue to work on the scrip. Your fellow poster, Agburanur, has been kind enough to share some of his ideas for set design which has been enlightening and has forced me to sharpen my ideas about the "Look" of the show. Hope you have a wonderful Holidays. I will be taking my parents and my children to FotR on 12/19.

[hama]

Agburanur,

I just re-read your earlier post which included the description of the battle between Gandalf and the Balrog and the set elements involved. I have but one word to describe it....EXACTLY!!!!

[Agburanar]

Cheers Hama, more designs on their way.

[Elven Warrior Maiden]

I just managed to get on, but after this, probably not for another two weeks. So, yesterday you put more of the script on, I just happened to discover. It's pretty good. I just have one question: When Boromir was dying, wouldn't it appear he was in more pain? Sorry, I'm just into feeling in Musicals and Movies.

Agbuanar, just read a bit of what you posted. Do you have experience in the Stage, 'cause it appears you do. It's good. I'm just a commenter, and some peoples ideas like mine are impossible to do on stage.

Will The One Ring have Pippin looking into the palantir? I had an idea for that, thats not impossible, thought you most likely already thought about it.

As soon as Pippin takes the stone from Gandalf, it goes completly dark, apart from a spotlight on him. And he should be speaking his thoughts outloud before he looks into it. When he does look in, I know in the book he cant move, but maybe he should shake or rock back and forth to show what may be happening. While he is looking, the palantir glows,(purple, isn't it?) lights up his face and the spotlight goes out. When he screams, the lights go instantly back on, and gandalf should get up immedietly and cry out that it is gone, and a soldier who is not mentioned otherwise finds him.

I'm pretty sure it could be done.

Just one more question: Are just writing the script, or while you're writing, are you thinking of how it could be done on stage?

Bye!

[hama]

Thanks. I am glad you like the additional scenes. As for Boromir being in more pain, those are details generally left to the actor originating the role and the director. Exactly what the director has the actor do or portray are then generally added to the Director's copyof the script and used in subsequent productions. Those specifics in essence become the Director's intellectual property just as the basic script is mine.

Yes the script does include Pippin looking into the Palantir. The difference is that in the musical, this happens in Edoras and not in Isengard as will be clear in Scene Five when it is posted. You might get an inkling by reading the Synopsis.

As far as your suggestions as to the staging of that moment, they are strikingly familiar to what I had in mind when I was writing the scene.

I am just writing the script. It is the eventual set, costume, lighting designers and the Director who will actually bring it to life. That said there were things that I cut because I could not envision them being brought to the stage in a serious and realistic manner.

I am totally psched about Agburanur's interest in the project.

[Agburanar]

Thanks elven warrior maiden! I've been acting all my life but my design experience is limited to about two years. It's just this chance to work on something fresh, unhindered by pre-concieved designs. I just love this musical, any music yet?

[hama]

The designs you sent were great. I wish I had the software to down load the detailed images. What I saw was cool. Definitely let your imagination run wild. I promise I will try and get some sketches together and e-mail them to you.

As for the music, we are still working on it. The orchestrations are still being worked on. I'll let you know when I have details.

[Thrain of the Shire]

Love the script -- I was wondering if I read an out of date version because I have jsut one thought/comment

In the version i read, Gollum appears almost from nowhere (with Sam's comment about being followed) and the audience gets no idea of Gollum's history with the ring -- just wondering because that really explains a lot about Gollum.

I know you don't want a whole lot of exposition, but I thought a bit of "it was mine first before the Baggins stole my precioussss" with Frodo replying "he won it fair and square in the riddle game...

or a short conversatoin liker that would help the audience see Gollum's history...

Anyhow -- just a thought

[hama]

Thrain, that is a good point. I would love more exposition but ah, so much to say and so little time. You point out the problem with re writes of a script. In one version, information may be in one scene and in another version it may be somewhere else. You make a cut in that version and oops, you've cut it out entirely and don't recall.

I think Gollum should be mentioned explained in Act One, Scene One at the Council of Rivendell and then have that "exposition" re-inforced as you suggest with a bit of dialogue by Gollum and Frodo. Do you think that would make sense for the audience?

Thank you for the suggestion and I am glad you have enjoyed what you have read so far. There should be more coming soon. Please feel free to continue as my unofficial proof reader!!!!

[Serena]

I'm back! (I haven't been posting for a couple months.)

Two things. I've read up to Act 1 scene 5, and Saruman pops up, when Pippin's looking into the Palantir, as well as a couple other places, but there's no explanation of who Saruman is. A Lotr Fan will figure it out, but if someone has no background knowledge of the story, they'll be thinking 'Huh? Who's this?' I think you should have Gandalf explain at the council who Saruman is and that he's after the Ring. Even though the journey to Isenguard isn't shown, it still establishes who Saruman is. Also, you have Aragorn tell Eowyn that he is betrothed to Arwen, but we haven't seen her at all so the audience woul have the same question --' who's he talking about?' Even just having her at the council and introduced by name would establish who she is, even if she doesn' talk.

Then again, these are just my own ideas, feel free to ignore them.

PS. Forgive my spelling as my keyboard is acting stupid.

[hama]

Welcome back Serena,

As for Aragorn's comments and the lack of establishment or foundation of Arwen I would suggest that Aragorn could easily say that "I am betrothed to another" and the message would be the same. To my recollection Arwen is not established in LotR or at least her and Aragorn's relationship is not established in LotR outside of the appendecise.

Your point about Saruman is well taken. Obviously I must have taken some of that scene from a draft that still included Isengard. As I mentioned in other threads that is the difficulty in re-writes. You sometimes end up adapting the adaptation and get too far away from the original source material.

I am glad you like what you have read so far and appreciate the comments especially those about Pippin and mentioning Saruman...I will have to re visit that scene and see how I can re-work that.

Have you spent any more time with the music?

[Serena]

Yeah, I've pretty much learned "With His Words" but I'm still thinking about transposing it -- that low F at the very beginning doesn't sound too good, because it's right on the edge of my range. It's actually kinda hard, because of the range of the peice, but for me, I'm thinking to bring it up a tone, because as long as I warm up, the higher notes wouldn't be a problem. I've also learned "Sail On, My Friend." That one wasn't so bad.

If I can figure out how, I'll send a recording of me singing to you . . . but I'm not sure how yet. l'll let you know on that one.

Serena

[hama]

With His Words definitely has a wide range. Wow I would love to hear your rendition of it.