This book is a bit too hard to read at times...

[Peter_20]

The Silmarillion is indeed a great book, but personally I think Tolkien goes way too much in-depth into details, languages, races, family trees and so on and so forth.
This is not a very good idea, because it scares away at least 75% of the potential readers.
I've told a bunch of friends and acquaintances about details in this book, and they seem to find it interesting; but whenever they try reading it, they find it way too hard and confusing.

I mean, take chapters like "Of Beleriand and its realms" - I fear that chapter every time I re-read the book, because it's sooo boring.
Tolkien also exaggerates names and families' relations to each other, and this is a very common style used in this book:

"X was the father of Y and Z, the cousins of W and Q, sons of X's brother.
Their sons were known as GG and GR, but later they came to be known as GT and GQ, which signifies DDD and DDS.
Now these sons were indeed with close kinship to the king of REE, as they were descendants of X's eldest sister..."

...and so on.
This is really annoying at times, and it's a shame, because the actual story IS extremely good.
I wish this book were re-released in a more reader-friendly version in the future, because right now it's not exactly something you casually pick up and read.

[brownjenkins]

I agree that the Silmarillion could use a lot of editorial clean up. I enjoy getting as much info as possible, but there is a lot of "appendix-type" material that probably should have been left out of the main narrative, and a lot of great stories, or parts of stories (some of which can be found in books like Unfinished Tales) that should have been left in.

I think Christopher would have been better off if he had polished the Silmarillion off better (maybe with the help of a real writer), and then released his father's unedited materials as he did for those who wanted to see where dramatic license was taken.

[jammi567]

I wish this book were re-released in a more reader-friendly version in the future, because right now it's not exactly something you casually pick up and read.
never going to happen mate. and that's what all the family trees were for. And you do realize it's called the 'Bible' of ME for a reason, don't you?

[brownjenkins]

never going to happen mate. and that's what all the family trees were for. And you do realize it's called the 'Bible' of ME for a reason, don't you?

The Bible could use a bit of work on the reader-friendly side as well. The Lord really should have hired an editor. :p

[Rían]

I guess he's into free will 'n stuff ;)

Anyway, re the Sil - hey, it keeps the riff-raff away! ;)

It's just a fact of life that ya gotta work hard for some good things :)

I think if JRRT had got around to publishing it, he would have made it more reader-friendly, though. I think the Sil stories were mostly for his own enjoyment.

[Peter_20]

Yeah, kinda like the original version of "Narn i Hîn Húrin"; in that version Tolkien actually spends some time with each individual character, rather than fast-forwarding past them like a friggin' bunny on amphetamine.

[jammi567]

But then, that's not Tolkien's falt: blame the son!

[brownjenkins]

But then, that's not Tolkien's falt: blame the son!

But isn't his son, ultimately, his fault. :p

[Rían]

not if his wife was wearing seductive clothing ... ;)

(you know, the ol' rape defense argument! :rolleyes: )

[ecthelion]

I think that the Sil is a masterpiece, of a very different kind from LOTR: you have a clear progression, from the Hobbit which is a children tale, to LOTR which is a fantasy heroic tale, to the Sil which demands a thoughtful reading. They are really all different books one from another.
I actually enjoy the difference in their levels, and I don't think that rating should have dictated Tolkien Jr.'s choices :confused:

[Mark of Cenla]

Funny that you should bring up the Bible because IMHO reading the Silmarillion is quite similar to reading the Old Testament. I am planning to read it again soon. But this time I will take notes. Peace.

[Rían]

The stories in the Sil were written long before the Hobbit.

[brownjenkins]

I think that the Sil is a masterpiece, of a very different kind from LOTR: you have a clear progression, from the Hobbit which is a children tale, to LOTR which is a fantasy heroic tale, to the Sil which demands a thoughtful reading. They are really all different books one from another.
I actually enjoy the difference in their levels, and I don't think that rating should have dictated Tolkien Jr.'s choices :confused:

I agree. I love the style of the piece. It's just that, after reading all the other bit's and pieces published after the fact, I think CT could have done a much better editorial job putting it all together.

[Peter_20]

I agree. I love the style of the piece. It's just that, after reading all the other bit's and pieces published after the fact, I think CT could have done a much better editorial job putting it all together.Yeah, The Silmarillion, in all honesty, isn't exactly easy to read; it goes on about all those characters that you only know from their names. :p

[The Gaffer]

One suggestion: DON'T plough through 'em in order.

Read the odd bits and pieces. Start with Turin, Hurin, Beren and Luthien, Daror Variouseth and work onwards from there.

What I found was that I then wanted to trudge through chapters like Beleriand and Its Realms to fill in the background to these more "exciting" chapters.

[cee2lee2]

One suggestion: DON'T plough through 'em in order.

Read the odd bits and pieces. Start with Turin, Hurin, Beren and Luthien, Daror Variouseth and work onwards from there.

What I found was that I then wanted to trudge through chapters like Beleriand and Its Realms to fill in the background to these more "exciting" chapters.

That sounds like good advice....if i can let myself read it that way. I have this "need" to start at the first page of any type of book and plough through. Can't remember how many times I've tried to "plough through" the Sil and have given up.

[Peter_20]

That sounds like good advice....if i can let myself read it that way. I have this "need" to start at the first page of any type of book and plough through. Can't remember how many times I've tried to "plough through" the Sil and have given up.You need to allow yourself to put the book away every now and then, and continue a few days later. :)

I used to force myself into reading at least 1/3 of the book in one sitting; if I stopped before Of the Noldor in Beleriand, I would start over. XD

[bropous]

Ladies and Gentlemen:

"The Silmarillion" may not be for the casual rader, but I find it stirring, heartbreaking, and tremendously helpful in understanding the context of the struggles outlined in "The Lord of the Rings".

Look, this may be one way to make it a little more understandable:

1. The Ainulindale and Valaquenta are tremendously important. They lay the groundwork for the remainder of the Tolkien Universe. They concern the creation of the Valar, the "Gods" of Middle-Earth, and the creation and devlopment of the World, Ea. Eru/Illuvitar, the creator, sings the song of creation, and from the song is born Ea, the Earth. As the song fo creation cintunues, melodies develop that turn into the Valar, as well as foreshadow the development of discord in the creation, Melkor. Melkor is Morgoth, The Great Enemy, as powerful as the most powerful of the Valar.

2. The Quenta Silmarillion, "Song of the Silmarils", sets out the history of the Elves in The Undyling Lands, and the development of the Two Trees, Telperion and Taniquetil, the precursors of the Sun and the Moon. The Valar live in Valinor, and the huntsman, Orome, finds the original tribes of Elves living in the darkness beyond the light of the Two Tree, in the lands to the East across the seas, where the bastard asshole Morgoth has already begun to preach hatred and distrust of the Valar to the Elves and the Men.

Some Elves hear the call of the Valar and cross the sea to live in Valinor, where they live for quite a while in peace, until the pumped up selfish bastard Feanor creates the Silmarils, jewels of incredible beauty which have inside the light of the Two Trees.

Morgoth, the jealous sneaky bastard he is, filches the Silmarils while Ungoliant, who gave birth to Shelob, sucked the sap out of the Two Trees and kills the light of Valinor. Feanor calls his posse, his jackass brothers and all their followers, and swears an oath to the Creator that their people will get back the Silmarils or die. They kill a lot of decent Elves who tell them to go screw themselves when the Feanoreans want to steal their ships to go after Morgoth over in Beleriand. The Feanoreans trek across the northern ice bridges to Beleriand, where the Prime Screw Over of the Elves Who LEft Valinor Awaits.

Once in Beleriand, the Elves fracture into petty kingdoms, sometimes fighting against each other, sometimes fighting Morgoth, always for the freaking Silmarils. The Elves beat the crap out of Morgoth, Morgoth beats the crap out of the Elves, back and forth, the Men show up, some side with the Elves (the Eldar, including Hurin and his house) and some side with Morgoth. The Dwarves show up, like the men, most fight Morgoth but some would rather fight the Elves.

Morgoth sends out armies with Dragons and Balrogs from his fortress of Angband near Thangorodrim (off the north edge of the map of Beleriand). The Elves and Men start cross-breeding, and a Man named Beren falls in love with an Elven maid named Luthien Tinuviel. They go to Angband to get a Silmaril so Luthien's asshole dad will apprive their marriage. They fight Sauron, who is Morgoth's lieutenant, kick his ass and go to Angband where they filch a Silmaril, give it to Thingol, and touch off a whole new war when Feanor's asshole sons show up and demand it.

Thingol is beaten to crap, the Silmaril goes to a descendant of Beren and Luthien named Earendil, who binds the Silmaril to his brow, breaks the law of the Valar that no Silmaril-chasing Elf is to come back to Valinor.

Earendil, who is Elrond's father, convinces the Valar to come over to Belerian and kick the livigng crap out of Morgoth, which they do, and Earendil, for his trouble, gets kicked into outer space with the Silmaril on his brow and Morgoth is destroyed, and Belieriand is swallowed by the sea except for the extreme eastern part of the map, which becomes Middle Earth. Chickenshit Sauron hides, the Valar go home, but not before making an island named Numenor where the decscendants of the Edain, the good Men who were pals with the Elves, could establish a kingdom between Middle Earth and Valinor.

[taking a breath]

Sauron now sucks up to the Elves who stayed in Middle Earth, they finally figure he was playing them for fools, there is a huge war in which the Numenoreans land on the shores of Middle Earth, kick the snot our of Sauron and drag his worthless ass back to Numenor as a prisoner. Sauron sucks up to the Numenorean kings, convinces them to storm Valinor, and the Valar not only sink Numenor the second they stage an amphibious landing on Valinor, they remove Valionor from the physical world, only to be reached by Elves fleeing Middle Earth.

Sauron flees back to Middle Earth, sucks up to some Elven smiths and makes his Rings of Power, gets his ass kicked in the Last Alliance of Elves and Men, loses a finger to Elendil, and disappears for a while until resurrecting as "The Necromancer" of Tol Guldur that Gandalf leaves the Dwarves and Bilbo Baggins in mid-quest to face. Gandalf was in the prisons of the Necromancer where he met the grandad of Thorin Oakenshield prior to heading to the Shire to hire Bilbo as a burglar to go filch Smaug's treasure and restore the Dwarven Kingdom Under the Mountain.

Clear enough for you?

[bropous]

With the above synopsis, you should have the general gist of the story.

However, I think the best way to read The Silmarillion is to struggle through it once, all the way throug, getting down as much of the story as possible, using the map and family trees to get the characters right.

Then, once you have read it, sit it aside for a good year. Mull it over, work through the events in your mind.

Then, for the second read, start using the appendices, map and family trees together to really place each and every person and each and every event. Follow the story much closer this time, remembering you are learning a mythological history mostly centering on Morgoth being a jackass, Feanor being a jackass, and the majority of the Elves and Men getting caught in the middle due to fealty and oaths and old insults.

Once you get to the part where Earendil has made his journey, the rest of the story is pretty clear-cut, go through the Numenor stuff, and then you get to a good backstory on the creation of the Rings of Power and the Last Alliance of Elves and Men.

Every few years, go ahead and start with the Silmarillion, take a brief easy respite with The Hobbit, and then hit the Lord of the Rings again.

Only by understanding the entire story of Middle Earth, from "There was Eru, the One, who in Arda is called Illuvitar..." to Samwise telling Rosie "...well, I'm home", can you fully comprehend the immense depth of the world that Oxford Professor John Roald Ruel Tolkien's genius brought to our sometimes mundane and miserable lives.

Only then will you be a TRUE "EIDRIORCQWSDAKLMED
DCWWTIWOATTOPWFIO".

[Rían]

It's clearly time again for ...

The Silmarillion in 1000 words or less!

THE ENTIRE SILMARILLION OF J. R. R. TOLKIEN IN ONE THOUSAND WORDS.


AINULINDALE:

ILUVATAR: Ahem.
AINUR: Wow! Existence!
ILUVATAR: *blows pitch pipe* LA!
AINUR: LA LA LA!
ILUVATAR: LA LA!
AINUR: LA LA!
MELKOR: This sucks. BUM BUM BA DUM!
AINUR: Um. . . la?
ILUVATAR: Ahem. LA!
MELKOR: Boop bop-a-doo-bop!
ILUVATAR: LA, dammit.
MELKOR: Bwam bardle ningle boom.
AINUR: . . .
ILUVATAR: Right, you're out of the band.
MELKOR: Fine, I was leaving anyway.
AINUR: . . .
ILUVATAR: What are you waiting for?
AINUR: Oh. Right. Newly created world. Sorry. Great jam session, big guy!
ILUVATAR: Yeesh.



VALAQUENTA:

MANWE: I'm in charge!
VARDA: I'm Manwe's spouse. And queen of the stars!
NAMO: I do death and fate. They call me Mandos.
VAIRE: I'm Namo's spouse. I weave things.
IRMO: I have gardens. They call me Lorien.
ESTE: I'm Irmo's spouse. I take care of the gardens.
YAVANNA: I make things grow.
NIENNA: I'm sad.
ULMO: I live in the ocean.
AULE: I'm Yavanna's spouse. I've got a great big hammer! I made dwarves.
NESSA: I dance.
OROME: I hunt!
VANA: I'm Orome's spouse. I make living things happy.
TULKAS: I'm strong. I'm Nessa's spouse. I got here last.
MELKOR: I'm bad, momma, I'm ONE BAD MUTHA-
TULKAS: Grar.
MELKOR: Um. Yeah. Hiding now.



QUENTA SILMARILLION:

VALAR: Hey! Ilmaren! Party on the island, everyone!
MELKOR: Bah. Too bright. *builds fortress, kicks over lamps*
VALAR: AUGH! *flee to west*
MELKOR: Hu hu hu.
VALAR: Oooooh SHINY TREES! Yavanna made shiny trees!
YAVANNA: Yep! Aren't they pretty?
MELKOR: Want shiny.
VALAR: Nope.
MELKOR: Why not?
VALAR: Because you're a jerk.
ELVES: Oh hey, stars. Shiny!
MELKOR: Oh hey, breeding stock.
ELVES: AUGH!
UNGOLIANT: Want shiny.
MELKOR: Let's go get shiny.
FEANOR: I've made more shiny!
VALAR: Good, 'cos Melkor took ours. Can we have yours?
FEANOR: No! MY SHINIES! MINE!
VALAR: Aw, !&*()!@&)!(&.
MELKOR: Got the shinies!
UNGOLIANT: Not enough shiny. Want more shiny!
MELKOR: You can't have 'em.
UNGOLIANT: Grar.
MELKOR: Eeek! *runs*
FEANOR AND SONS: We're gettin' our shinies back. And YOU CAN'T HAVE 'EM, Valar!
MELKOR/MORGOTH: No you're not. *stabbity fiery burny death*
BEREN: Ooo! Pretty elf lady!
THINGOL: You can have her if you ... BRING ME A SHINY!
BEREN: Worth a shot.
LUTHIEN: La la la
MORGOTH: Ooo baby... *zzz*
BEREN: Got your shiny!
MORGOTH: you BASTARD! I stole those fair and square!
CARCHAROTH: Grar.
BEREN: Ow!
THINGOL: Got the shiny?
BEREN: 's in my hand.
THINGOL: And?
BEREN: Hand's not here.
THINGOL: Crap, I really wanted that shiny.
CARCHAROTH: GRAR!!!!
BEREN: *dies*
LUTHIEN: *dies* La la la.
MANDOS: ... oh all right.
LUTHIEN: *returns to life*
BEREN: *returns to life*
LUTHIEN: Beren! Look! The shiny! In a necklace!
FEANOR'S SONS: *mutter*
LUTHIEN: *dies again*
BEREN: *dies again*
DIOR: Oo, Mom's shiny!
FEANOR'S SONS: WANT SHINY!
DIOR: *dies*
ELWING: Eek! *grabs shiny, runs*
FEANOR'S SONS: !*&(!)&)*!.
EARENDIL: Hey. Nice shiny. Yo! Valar!
VALAR: Well FINALLY. *stomp stomp stomp*
EARENDIL: Wow, planetary orbit!
MORGOTH: Eek!
VALAR: Got your shinies!
MAGLOR AND MAEDHROS: You mean OUR shinies!
VALAR: Oh *!&(!&).
MAGLOR AND MAEDHROS: Ow! Burny shinies!
MAEDHROS: Fine. This sucks. *jumps into chasm*
MAGLOR: Um... not really looking forward to meeting Dad again... *chucks shiny into sea* Bye. *wanders off*
VALAR: Well... um... okay.



AKALLABETH:

VALAR: Thanks for helping with Morgoth, Edain! Have an island! Elros is in charge!
EDAIN: Cool!
VALAR: Don't come looking for us.
EDAIN: Okay.
ELVES OF TOL ERESSEA: Have our stuff!
NUMENOREANS: Neat! Ooo, Middle-Earth!
GIL-GALAD: Dudes. Good to see you.
NUMENOREANS: Yeah, same here. What's going on?
GIL-GALAD: War with Sauron mostly.
MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH: Shiny tall wonderful wise sea-king dudes! Yay!
NUMENOREANS: Here, have some stuff and wisdom.
MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH: <3 <3 <3
NUMENOREANS: Life is cool. Why do we have to die?
ELVES: You're human?
NUMENOREANS: Can the Valar fix that?
VALAR: No.
NUMENOREANS: That sucks. Go away.
ELVES: Fine.
ELENDILI: Hey! Over here! We still like you!
MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH: Gosh, we're lonely.
NUMENOREANS: Whatever, give us your wealth and your children.
MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH: Um, okay.
ELENDILI: This isn't gonna end well, is it?
ELVES: No.
TAR-PALANTIR: We're sorry?
GIMILKHAD: *I'm* not.
AR-PHARAZON: Thanks for the throne, dude.
TAR-MIRIEL: Hey!
AR-PHARAZON: Shaddap, woman. Sauron, j00 suxx0r! I 0wnz0r j00!
SAURON: Okay.
AR-PHARAZON: Make me immortal.
SAURON: Human sacrifice is good. Also burn that pesky white tree.
AR-PHARAZON: Um. . .
ISILDUR: Hey! White tree! Got your fruit!
SAURON: *makes chicken noises*
AR-PHARAZON: Fine. Tree burn! Fire pretty!
ELENDIL: Isildur, Anarion, get the boats.
AR-PHARAZON: I've got a huge navy! Let's go conquer Valinor!
VALAR: Oh no you don't. *CRASHBANGBOOM*
AR-PHARAZON & CO.: Eeek!
ELENDIL, ISILDUR, ANARION: Wheee!
NUMENOREANS: Arrgh!
NUMENOR: SPLOOSH.
SAURON: Bwa ha ha! Um, where's my body?
ILUVATAR: Did I mention the world is round now?
NUMENOREANS IN EXILE: Well, crap.



OF THE RINGS OF POWER AND THE THIRD AGE:

ELVES: Wonder what's going on over the ocean. This crafting deal is pretty sweet, though!
DWARVES: Yeah, seriously.
ANNATAR: Hi, elves! Wanna learn some cool stuff?
ELVES: Okay!
SAURON: They fell for it.
SEVEN DWARVES: Thanks for the rings! . . oooh, GOLD! MUST HAVE GOLD!
NINE MEN: Neat rings. . . Hey, didn't Mom die like six hundred years ago?
CELEBRIMBOR: Okay, how about we do three more and call it a wrap?
SAURON: How about I do one more and claim them ALL?
ELVES: AUGH!
SAURON: Bwa ha ha!
LAST ALLIANCE OF ELVES AND MEN: Push off.
SAURON: Make me.
ISILDUR: Whack.
SAURON: Ow.
ELROND: Hey, you got his ring. Let's ditch it.
ISILDUR: No.
ELROND: This sucks.
ISILDUR: Tell me about it. *dies*
GONDORIANS: *change calendar*
CIRDAN: Hi, wizards! You in the grey, catch!
SAURON: Okay, that's long enough. Movin' into Dol Guldur.
SARUMAN: It's not him. Also the ring's lost at sea.
RING: No I'm not.
THE WISE: Augh.
THE WEAK: Bad ring! Volcano for you!
RING: *melts*
SAURON: AUGH!
MORDOR: BOOM.
GONDORIANS: *change calendar*
ELROND, GALADRIEL: Road trip!
GANDALF: Hi Cirdan! Still got your ring!
CIRDAN: Cool. Let's go to Valinor!

http://camwyn.livejournal.com/328358.html

Enjoy! :D

[bropous]

THAT is freaking priceless.

I also saw something like this with World War Two as an online RPG. VERY funny.

[Rían]

Isn't it great?!?! :D

Wayfarer did a version of Turin based on this style, IIRC.

[The Gaffer]

Both beezer. Your version is outstanding bp.

[bropous]

Thanks, gaffer.

[Peter_20]

THINGOL: Got the shiny?
BEREN: 's in my hand.
THINGOL: And?
BEREN: Hand's not here.
THINGOL: Crap, I really wanted that shiny.
CARCHAROTH: GRAR!!!!
BEREN: *dies*
LUTHIEN: *dies* La la la.
MANDOS: ... oh all right.
LUTHIEN: *returns to life*
BEREN: *returns to life*LOL! XD

This satire thing is just priceless. :D