LOTR food

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

Does anyone have any feelings/thoughts about food in the LOTR stories? I mean, I'd love to sit down to a nice second breakfast with Sam and Rosie, or be invited to a special occasion with the Master of Buckland, but I think about the other traditions, too.

For example, even though they're associated so strongly with the plains, I can't help but see some Danish influences in the rohirrim. I know Eowyn made a mean aebleskiver(no matter that PJ dissed her cooking.) But what happened to traditional Gondorian cooking when they lost Ithilien? What are the regional differences between Mirkwood and Lothlorien cooking?

Okay. Maybe I'm the only one. :o

[The last sane person]

I dunno, when I think Human and Elvish food, I think of blandy English cooking. I always have. Give me the spices of the Haradrim or something. I would go bonkers with the significant lack of Kabobs and vodka.

I dunno if the elves or men of western middle earth had anything stronger than ale, wine or mead.

[Lotesse]

I've always loved the idea of pure, simple Hobbit fare, utterly pretension-free ideal comfort food. Perfectly organic cheeses, aged meats, pies, breads, sausages, vegetables, cakes, etcetera, oh yes... Elvish food sounds bland and boring to me, I can't even imagine what these other-worldly beings would eat, just boring glorified food, sort of like snobby Parisien Michelin-chef cooking, all snobby and complicated and high on itself, not real or comforting or down-to-earth. Give me Hobbit-food any day over that boring high-concept snobby Elvish food any day!

Great idea for a thread, SisterAunt. I've been loving all your posts for a while, since you joined here, incidentally. I do a lot more reading than I ever do posting at this board any more, but, suffice it to say I've noticed each & every one of your posts, Sister, and I love, love love your voice & your points of view. You're wonderful, just awesome. Love ya, baby!

Wouldn't it be cool to have a Middle-Earth inspired cookbook published, which described all the regional cuisine types and included recipes from each culture? Hell yeah! I've always thought this would be a fun idea. I'd definitely buy such a book, especially if it had photographic illustrations of the dishes.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

I dunno if the elves or men of western middle earth had anything stronger than ale, wine or mead.

Dear me, that is a problem. :eek: :eek: :(

[Tessar]

In my mind:

Hobbits make just about any and everything, from simple foods to complex cakes and such. But almost everything will have heavy herbs and spices.

The elves would be big on salads and fresh, juicy fruit. When they have meat, it'll be fairly well cooked (nothing quite so unelvish as having blood drip down your fork as you eat :D) and with just a few light spices so that you enjoy the flavor of the meat over anything else. Also lots of birds. Gotta do something with those bows ;). I imagine anything they eat will be beautifully done and presented with flare.

Dwarves are big on lightly-cooked meat :p. Not much else. Just the meat. And beer.

Men are... kind of... whatevah. :p I imagine the various cultures will influence their cooking styles more.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Ipse dixit.

[Lotesse]

Ipse dixit.

What? Speak English, Gwaimir. No one is impressed with your pseudo-intellectual sounding command of ancient Latin. Do you have something relevant or real to say about the cuisine of Middle Earth, in the commonly used language of this here message-board, that is, ENGLISH?

[Jonathan]

Actually I was impressed enough to look ipse dixit up. It means we should take what Tessar said with a pinch of salt :)
Hobbits make just about any and everything, from simple foods to complex cakes and such. But almost everything will have heavy herbs and spices.In my mind they didn't use much spices or herbs at all. I think they made great cakes and pastry for dessert.

[Lotesse]

I know, exactly, I was just thinking the same thing. I don't recall hobbit cuisine being heavy whatsoever on spices; maybe a few wild herbs for seasoning stews and such like Sam did when they were stuck out in the friggin' wilderness tryna make wild coney soup, but they were in the equivalent of what could loosely be considered the Sicilian outback of Middle Earth when Sam was trying to make that coney stew.

Back home, I don't see hobbit-food as being much for exotic spices or fancy southern herbs at all, more like rich on the creams of livestock, the cheeses, and the fresh vegetables of the soil, and fresh chicken-eggs and wholesome baked breads and muffins and pies and berries and apples and whatnot, but none of those intense, fancy-schmancy spices & herbs. No southern climed herbs, anyway. Maybe leeks and chives, maybe dill and mint, but other than that, what herbs would hobbits use, on a regular daily basis, from their own natural home surroundings?

Tessar - I see Elves as mostly being moralistic vegan-types, not keen on eating animals at all, especially those hippie-commune elves where Galadriel reigned supreme. Buncha hippie vegans, those elves. I don't see them eating hunted birds, not those particular elves anyway. They just strike me as the quintessential vegans, like, model cruelty-free love and purity vegan-types. They'd be chowing on dandelion salad and rose-petal soup, and roasted honeydew melons with pear and sarsaparilla puree, and stuff like that. No animals, no flesh or blood. They'd be the original raw cooks.

[Lotesse]

Haradrim food would be awesome, maybe kind of like a cross between spicy Indian curry-type food and South-American/Spanish cuisine, full of peppers and corn and beans and fire.

Orc food would just be pretty straight-forwardly repulsive.Rotten rat, grubs, fly larvae, stuff like that, nothing to write home about.

Gondorian cuisine might be rather like northern Italian/alps-like food, very sophisticated and rich, yet with a comforting provincial twist, with a lot of wild meat and mushrooms used, and fresh-made pastas and a lot of exotic herbs since they had access to the water and so spice & herb trade might not have been too uncommon, for Gondor. They might have even been almost like the Venice of their time & place, a port-principality which had wealth and access to the offerings of so many distant and exotic countries and their foods, spices, textiles etc.

[Earniel]

Tessar - I see Elves as mostly being moralistic vegan-types, not keen on eating animals at all, especially those hippie-commune elves where Galadriel reigned supreme. Buncha hippie vegans, those elves. I don't see them eating hunted birds, not those particular elves anyway.
I do seem to remember some references to some Elves liking hunting, so I would imagine meat was part of their diet.

But one thing I do find hard to imagine is seeing Elves farm. There's no hint of mention (that I can remember) about it either. Rivendell didn't seem to have any fields and they might have given away the location of hidden Rivendell. Lothlórien's forest is hard to reconcile with grown fields and the same goes for Mirkwood. Where did the Elves get their grains, I wonder.

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

moved food up past the Rivermen. I suspect their granaries were down there. Venison, one assumes, was a frequent part of their diet, if you figure all that deer hunting had an outcome. But they weren't making Lembas out of venison. Mirkwood being so contaminated, I think the Mirkwood elves must have been fishers, too...river was probably full of weirs. But their reliance on wine and butter indicates to me that their tastes were formed in a warmer climate, and probably there were more 'farming oriented' tribes of them still in the South. They clearly had trade, but what they were trading I'm a little unclear on.

I wouldn't be all that surprised to find that Ithilien was the remnant of the Entwives planting. They wouldn't necessarily have made themselves known to the locals when blossoming rowan brakes appeared. And men have short memories.

I definitely have the feeling Galadriel's crew was a little more "high culture" than the Northern Elves , and that probably extended to their food. So maybe a more Basque style would be my pick for the Elves in general, affected by their regional differences, and years of trade, but still retaining the basic elements of its roots. Izarra would totally be an elf drink.

[The Telcontarion]

remember when Sam was looking for herbs in Ithilien to cook the rabbit, he was looking for wild herbs. Indeed the chapter itself is called "of herbs and stewed rabbit."

[Rían]

What? Speak English, Gwaimir. No one is impressed with your pseudo-intellectual sounding command of ancient Latin. Do you have something relevant or real to say about the cuisine of Middle Earth, in the commonly used language of this here message-board, that is, ENGLISH?Can I put in a request for you to stop the Italian, then, and speak "in the commonly used language of this here message-board, that is, ENGLISH"?

Or I guess we can just assume that both of you just enjoy those languages. *shrug*

Great line about the salt, Gwai!

About the wine - what, have you guys forgotten your Hobbit?
From The Hobbit - Barrels out of Bond
It must be potent wine to make a wood-elf drowsy; but this wine, it would seem, was the heady vintage of the great gardens of Dorwinion, not meant for his soldiers or his servants, but for the king's feasts only, and for small bowls not for the butler's great flagons.

[Rían]

I just remembered another couple of things about elvish food - in the magically-made feast described in Hobbit right before the spiders, he mentioned "roast meats". In the LOTR one, it only specifically mentioned breads and fruit and drinks. I'll have to try and remember Sil and HoME stuff...

oh, and speaking of elf/human differences ...
An Elf and a Ranger were camping out in Eriador one night. As they lay in their blankets, the Elf nudged the Ranger and said, "Look up, my friend, and tell me what you see."
"I see stars," replied the Ranger. "A vast multitude of bright, shining stars."
"And what does that tell you?" the Elf asked?
Sensing a deeper purpose behind the Elf's question, the Ranger gazed upward thoughtfully for a moment and said, "Well, I think it means that the universe is immense, and that the Valar must have labored many ages before settling in Arda."
"Hm," the Elf said quietly. The Ranger decided he had not given the proper answer, so he cast his gaze westward and beheld the bright light of Earendil's star.
"And it also tells me that we are all part of a great tale, ever unfolding, adding layer of challenge and adventure upon layer," he added quickly.
"I see," said the Elf, and he said nothing more. But the Ranger, realizing he had not guessed the Elf's purpose, gave up and asked with great exasperation, "Well, then, what does it tell you, that we see the stars?"
"It tells me," said the Elf as he turned to his companion, "that someone has stolen our tent."

[Nurvingiel]

When does Lotesse write in Italian? :confused:


Anyway, I would love so much to sit down to a proper rabbit stew, as made by Sam Gamgee, with all the ingredients he desires including taters.

That would be the best ever.

I would also love to try Haradrim food, as others have mentioned.

I bet the Elves of Mirkwood traded for grain - they did trade their famous wine for other things with the men of the Dale, after all.

Do you think Dwarves don't need to eat vegetables?

[Rían]

When does Lotesse write in Italian? :confused:
I guess you've missed a lot of her posts. Lots of them have the "bella"s and "grazi"s and "ciao"s in them, and she'll also do Italian sentences sometimes, so I thought it was pretty inconsistent of her to chide Gwai about using Latin. Live and let live, or do as Jonathan did and look it up and learn :)

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

"differed from the High Elves of the West...most of them (together with their scattered relations in the hills and mountains) were descended from the ancient tribes that never went to Faerie in the West."

"If the elf-king had a weakness it was for treasure...his people neither mined nor worked metals or jewels, nor did they bother much with trade or with tilling the earth."

gave Thorin bread and meat and water. (all from The Hobbit, "flies and spiders")

"Barrels out of bond" says, "...the Wood-elves, and especially their king, were very fond of wine, though no vines grew in those parts. The wine, and other goods, were brought from far away, from their kinsfolk in the South, or from the vinyards of Men in distant lands."

In his parting from the Elven King, Bilbo thanks him for "wine and bread," but I would, personally, here stand with "loose constructionists" in regarding that as emblematic of "hospitality", rather than as a literal menu. ;)

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

Do you think Dwarves don't need to eat vegetables?

I'm seeing Dwarvish food as much closer in spirit to German cooking. Pickled fruits and cabbage, heavy stews, various dumplings and spaetzle type noodles. The dwarves are excited about the roasting meats of the elvish circle, indeed. But considering that their favored dwellings are underground (instead of the arboreal elves, say), I'd bet they relied more on stored food.

Barley. Gimli ate barley, I'm sure. :D

[Nurvingiel]

I've missed the Italian sentences posts, yes. I know what "ciao" "grazi" and "bella" mean, and I don't speak Italian! ;)


I think I got the wine thing backwards. They must trade goods for wine from the men of the Dale. But there is a lot of trade there, so I'm sure they could obtain grain and other agricultiral products.

I wonder what they trade - wood products? Lumber? Non-timber forest products such as mushrooms and plants? Spider silk? :D

[Rían]

some interesting research being done with spider silk ... interesting stuff!

[Nurvingiel]

Yeah, maybe the Mirkwood elves do export it, they have quite a handy supply. I heard that spider silk as thick as a rope would need 40 000 pounds to break it.

Bilbo must have been really handy with Sting! Of course, the breakage amount doesn't include slicing.

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

Balin got tossed into the dungeon for implying the elves had an arrangement with the spiders. And the power of Sting was partly because elves had been deadly enemies with the old spiders, right? So it's kind of pushing it to see them selling it.

I figure rather, the Mirkwood elves were sort of on a "rough duty" military posting (colonial) from the masses of stable elves further south. Much like later Roman Empire outposts in GB and so forth, they made do with some goodies from home, some local hunting, charging tolls on the route through Mirkwood, and miscellaneous theft from the dwarves ;)(It must be said.)

[The last sane person]

Perhaps they get the silk from dead spiders?

Anyways, that has little to do with the lack of hard liquor! Okay, strong wine doesn't cut it, for those of you who will point to the elf guards getting sloshed in the Hobbit. Heh, perhaps they just couldn't hold their booze?

[Rían]

methinks Nurv was kidding about the spider silk ... :D

I think Michael Martinez had some good essays about MEarth food - I'll have to go dig them up.

[Lotesse]

This topic of middle-earth food really got me thinking last night, and today, in an effort to furthur procrastinate finishing my English homework, I thought I'd try and find some descriptions out of my LotR book of those Elvish feasts the fellowship kept finding themselves at. Maybe I haven't looked carefully enough, but I could not find any descriptions, just that the feasts were marvelous, etc., but no descriptions of the actual food laid out at the feast, either the one at Rivendell or the one at Lothlorien. Am i not looking closely enough; am I missing something?

So I did a quick google-search, and found nothing but Lembas for descriptions of elvish food. It's the elvish cuisine that I'm truly curious about. Oh - I did learn that Lembas is made from a type of corn that the elves cultivate themselves, some special corn that they brought with them to middle-earth. That was interesting. Magic power-corn.

[Tessar]

Ooooookay, sorry if some people didn't like my description of how I imagine the different races would cook.

Certain people seriously need to lighten up. :rolleyes:

[Nurvingiel]

I was only half-kidding about the spider silk. They could harvest the silk from the webs they're always leaving all over the darn place. However, the elves wouldn't do it because they'd find everything to do with the spiders completely repulsive. Also, the technology of the elves and men isn't at the point where they would use spider silk for anything - neither are we over here. :D

Ooooookay, sorry if some people didn't like my description of how I imagine the different races would cook.

Certain people seriously need to lighten up. :rolleyes:What are you seeing in this thread that I am missing? :confused:

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

I can see a lot of spices compatible with some of these descriptions of "English food." Sure, climate-wise, they're probably not big on Mediterranean spices, or tomato based sauces and such. But they have to have enough sun for some winemaking, as well as the thriving beer, ale, and stout production. Every pub and farmstead would have their own boutique ales and had to be some mead brewing around, as well as ciders and perrys.

But even within climate limitations, I'm sure there were Tookish stores of exotic spices like pepper and cinnamon. Stands to reason, that's the kind of folk they were, and not far from the Grey Havens or Bree. So I'm seeing that as the source of really good spiced sausage and mulled ale, and perhaps even some Shire versions of Branston Pickle.

Sane, I'm , personally, sure the Wizards and elves both drank distilled spirits. Dwarves, too probably. Anyone who had enough metal working to inlay mithril steel in rock faces had the engineering to run a still, and did. :D But they wouldn't necessarily share the secrets of that with lesser folk. I don't think the hobbits did, mostly because they're just not much past simple machines, kwim? And their micro-climate variations would make brewing a more compatible industry for competition and skill building.

I've got a wiki quote about the Izarra
"There are two varieties of Izarra: yellow Izarra is of 32 herbs with a predominantly almond taste and is 40 proof; green Izarra with 48 herbs has a peppermint taste and is stronger at 48 proof. Pyrenean herbs and other flavouring ingredients are used in a fifteen-month process to produce the liqueur. Four different liquids are produced: alcohol distilled with herbal flavourings; a liquid resulting from the soaking of prunes and walnut shells in armagnac; syrup of sugar and local acacia honey; and a colouring infusion of saffron for the yellow and several plants for the green variety. The liqueur matures for six months in barrels before it is bottled."

As I've said, that's got "Hobby for elves" written all over it. :D

But don't just dismiss the potential of serious mead. That stuff has legs. :evil:

Back to Hobbits and herbs, there are an awful lot of temperate climate herbs used in cooking. I doubt Samwise, and his gardening family, were eating dreadful overboiled potatoes. Gardeners don't do that, any more than people who run a goat dairy eat velveeta. The culture was all ABOUT the pleasures of the table... I'm expecting good things.;)

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Actually I was impressed enough to look ipse dixit up. It means we should take what Tessar said with a pinch of salt :)
In my mind they didn't use much spices or herbs at all. I think they made great cakes and pastry for dessert.

Lotesse: Ipse dixit is a Latinism that is used (or so my Latin tutor told me) in English to a fair extent, to the point that, as Jonathan pointed out, there is in fact an English word Ipsedixitism. I was not trying to put on airs. It means "He himself said it", and was used by the disciples of a master to refer to his authority, thereby probably ending argument, so that it would be roughly equivalent in philosophy to the ecclesiastical "Rome has spoken, the case is closed". By no means was it intended as a sort of "intellectualism" which would certainly have been pseudo, as you note. I was actually unaware of the sort of opposite meaning which it has taken; I meant it as a sort of tongue-in-cheek deferral to the authority of Tessar. I don't care to speculate on Middle-earth cuisine, as I think that, aside from potatoes, herbs and rabbits, lembas, etc., it would be completely speculation, though I do find some of the ideas put forth.

! Okay, strong wine doesn't cut it, for those of you who will point to the elf guards getting sloshed in the Hobbit. Heh, perhaps they just couldn't hold their booze?

More likely, they had just had quite a lot. ;) Or maybe it was a sort of fortified wine, like port.

But actually, I could live happily with wine and beer. I like hard liquors (or at least some, like brandy and some whiskeys), but wine and beer (esp. wine) are the biggies for me.

[Lotesse]

O.K., babe, thanks for that description. Man, it'd be so cool to have an education in Latin, even a rudimentary Latin education would be, I think, indispensible. I was just giving you a bit of the ol' hard time, baby; thanks for being so cool to take the time to explain it to me & us all. You're a good sport, Gwai! Grazi, babe.

You know, I could totally see the elves being all mysterious and elevated about creating exotic liqueurs, sort of like Benedictine monks, you know? Secretly turning out masterpiece liqueurs that nobody else could figure out how to make...

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Benedictines are good, but you just can't beat the Carthusians! It's so cool that the recipe for Chartreuse is only known by three monks...and these monks are bound by vows of silence... :D ;)

[The last sane person]

Man, how do they pass it down then? Or is it reinvented every time the three silent guardians die?

And about liquors... I still dont think they'd have Vodka or whiskey or rum... It also just doesnt fit with the time period of LOTR.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

This vow A) is rescinded for a few hours once a week, and B) is not as strictly enforced as it could be; for instance, the Carthusians do speak sometimes for the purposes of work. I'm sure it's passed down that way.

Or, they could write it down. ;)

It doesn't fit with the time of LOTR, but neither do clocks. ;)

[The last sane person]

True enough, it seems that the different races are in different time periods.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

More than that, I think it's just that there are a number of anachronisms. Although granted, they do seem more prevalent among the Hobbits.

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

when a Luddite describes Paradise. ;)

[The last sane person]

So it seems. Man, I could do with a Haradrim style curry right about now... With maybe some Nurn wine if that's the best they have.

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

Hum. Might need to make a little naan, tonight. ;)

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Let's hear it for the Luddites!

[Lotesse]

Benedictines are good, but you just can't beat the Carthusians! It's so cool that the recipe for Chartreuse is only known by three monks...and these monks are bound by vows of silence... :D ;)

And that's so typically an Elvish kind of thing, too, isn't it? Perfect analogy - they would totally be guarding a secret mystery recipe for some exotic, impossibly tasty amazing liqueur. Exactly like the Chartreuse making monks, exactly like that.

BTW - er *raises hand* What are "Luddites?" *feels terribly catholically undereducated...* Is that a specific order of the catholic monks? Or is that some sort of new technological material, "luddite" like something they make spacecraft hulls out of or something... er...

[The last sane person]

Luddites: A term for people who opposes technological progress and technological change.

Originally a group of English textile (I think) workers who smashed the machines that were taking their jobs. Lead by a fellow named Ned( or Ted?) Ludd, they got to a point where for a brief time, they were actually strong enough to fight with the British army in large scale conflicts. They were eventually stamped out in the end, but their sentiment still remains strong, seeing as the rate of technology has replaced many trades with people who are unskilled.

It has nothing to do with Catholic beliefs.

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

that JRR was describing as perfect a world with restricted technology, but left in the stuff he thought was handy, like clocks. You'd figure any culture with skilled clockmakers was capable of crossbows, let alone distilleries, but he gerrymandered his "historical" periods to get a really unfair level of 'quaint.'

I live in a place like that, I notice these things. ;)

[Rían]

you're saying JRRT wasn't perfect?!?! *gasp* ;)

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

he's perfect, by definition. ;)

It's only my imperfect understanding that makes his ways mysterious to me. ;)

[Rían]

I see ;)

[Lotesse]

that JRR was describing as perfect a world with restricted technology, but left in the stuff he thought was handy, like clocks. You'd figure any culture with skilled clockmakers was capable of crossbows, let alone distilleries, but he gerrymandered his "historical" periods to get a really unfair level of 'quaint.'

I live in a place like that, I notice these things. ;)

This is so true, Ture true true. I wonder if the Gondorians would've been inclined to a sort of northern Italian diet? I've always thought so. The elves, I have no idea what to think of these beings' food habits; we know not much of anything except that they were wont to creating fabulous "feasts" consisting of who knows what, and were masters at Miruvor and Lembas, both "magic", read: otherworldly types of sustenance. Those elves are bleedin' frustrating with their holier-than-thou secrecy about even such a mundane thing as food & drink, I mean come on. Fuggedaboutit.

Hobbit food is the best soul-food in LotR by far and away, beautiful hearty real comfort food that we can all relate to and instinctively get mouth-watery about. I'd love to live on Hobbit-food, for a while anyway, then I'd get culinarily bored and get a bug in my saddle to go wandering down south towards Gondor and eat all that Gondorian and Haradrim-inspired cuisine, oh, yeah....

[Kethavel]

Well met, my fellow sojourners. I am a complete newbie to this site and thread. Feel free to call me Keth. I found this site and tread because I was searching for medieval foods, LOTR foods, etc. I have been experimenting with lembas, and have enjoyed my results.

I am a Southerner. And I can see the Hobbits being the Southerners of Middle Earth. (I have not memorized the Middle Earth map, so forgive my ignorance if they really are in the South of Middle Earth...) I do think they would be those of comfort foods, yummy potato dishes (boil'em, smash'em, stick'em in a stew...), stews, and perhaps even fried foods. I think I would enjoy the Hobbit diet.

I am fascinated with Elves, secretly believing that I AM an Elven warrior princess. I don't believe they were the ultimate vegans, perhaps because I myself an not vegan, nor plan to become one. So, as I say this, I bring in my own bias and, perhaps self-creativity when it comes to the Elven diet. I do picture their diet as being mostly vegetarian: nuts, berries, grains, thus, breads, cakes (but not too sweet), etc. However, I do believe that since they are the Masters of the Bow and Arrow, I believe they would hunt small winged game mostly, and then, perhaps small mammals such as hares, squirrels, etc. I would even venture to say that now and then they might celebrate a special occasion (wedding, battle victory, coronation, funeral of a royal, etc.) with a deer, elk, etc.

I am looking for recipes. So if any of you have LOTR recipes or medieval recipes, please pass them a long!

[Noble Elf Lord]

I was only half-kidding about the spider silk. They could harvest the silk from the webs they're always leaving all over the darn place. However, the elves wouldn't do it because they'd find everything to do with the spiders completely repulsive. True. And since they are descendants of Shelob, their webs carry some dark force for sure (nothing like making one´s hands rotten when touched, but perhaps stinging and fingers going numb.) I´d pay alot to get my hands on Lorien Elven food, or Mirkwood deer.
Say, Keth, what language is that signature of yours?

[Keith K]

I wonder if Merry introduced some Entish potions into his sauces? He may have picked up a recipe or two from Treebeard... :)

[GrayMouser]

I wonder if Merry introduced some Entish potions into his sauces? He may have picked up a recipe or two from Treebeard... :)

Which may explain why there are no Hobbits today- they grew to normal size and started interbreeding with people who don't need to shave their toes.

[Snowdog]

I would go bonkers with the significant lack of Kabobs and vodka.

I dunno if the elves or men of western middle earth had anything stronger than ale, wine or mead.
Not likely, but I like to think some enterprising hobbit living a hermits life on the edge of the Twilight Hills near the borders of the North Farthing discovered he could ferment taters..... :D

But then there's the Orc-drought.... maybe a red bull/tequila mix? :rolleyes: :p

[The Gaffer]

But then there's the Orc-drought.... maybe a red bull/tequila mix? :rolleyes: :p
:D

Double vodka + red bull is the recipe in my experience. Works wonders.

:cool:

[Star]

I don't know 'bout the rest of you but as being a hobbit, i would live off of farmer maggots crops and things i climb up to get, like apples and peaches. :D i enjoy home grown foods but I basicly eat whatever Rosie cooks and since i'm always busy with Merry and Pip or at the green dragon I don't have the time to grow my food XD

[Jon S.]

Here are two tables I'd like to dine at more than those of any wizard, king, or Elven lord:

Beorn

-and-

Bombadil.

But what would you expect anyways from a mostly-vegetarian? ;)

[Star]

I hear you, Jon S.!