Monty Python

[ItalianLegolas]

i know we already have a couple of threads dedicated to monty python, so don't blame me if someone comes and locks it.

HERE IS WHERE WE SHALL COME TO TALK ABOUT MONTY PYTHON!! :D

[brownjenkins]

"Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!"

[EarthBound]

Just how are we going to get back the Holy Grail from the French! Perhaps we need to lob a cow...always a good idea :D :p :rolleyes:

[Embladyne]

We are the knights who say "NEE!" :D

[ItalianLegolas]

"We could build a giant wooden badger"

"Your bloody arms off!"
"No its not!"
"Whats that then?"
"Just a flesh wound, I've had worse! Come on then!"
"What are you going to do? Bleed on me?"

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

this is an ex-parrot, it has ceased to be

What is your name?
King Arthur
What is your quest?
I seek the Holy Grail
What is the air speed velocity of a swallow?
I don't understand, laden or unladen? african or european?
Eh?, I dont know that! whaaaaaaa!! *splat*

[Nurvingiel]

To quote random lines...

"Kevin Phillips Bongggg. You polled no votes at all. Not a sausage. Bugger all. Are you at all disappointed?"
"Not at all. As I always say, 'climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every byway, 'till you find your dream. *singing* A dream that will last, just as long as you live... every day of your life, for as long as you live! Climb every mountain! Ford every stream..." *laughter*
"A very brave Keving Phillips Bong there."
- From Election Special


Is anyone familiar with the Dead Parrot Sketch? This is one of Monty Python's most famous sketches. What do you think makes it so successful?

[inked]

God: O get up and stop your groveling! EVERYtime I show up...

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

..it's sorry this, forgive me that, now what are you doing?

we are averting our eyes, oh Lord!

[Minielin]

NOBODY expects the SPANISH INQUISITION!!!

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

THE MINISTRY OF SILLY WALKS

my favourit characters are probably Hell's Grannies!

[Minielin]

my favourit characters are probably Hell's Grannies! Yeah, those are great.

[HOBBIT]

Who is seeing Spamelot?

[Elemmírë]

Come back here! I'll bite yer legs off!


Is anyone familiar with the Dead Parrot Sketch? This is one of Monty Python's most famous sketches. What do you think makes it so successful?

Bloody brilliant, Nurvs. Brilliant. :D

[edited] I'll go find a copy of it so I can remember... :o

[Elemmírë]

Here we go! :D

The sketch:

A customer enters a pet shop.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, he moved!

Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Mr. Praline: Well.

(pause)

Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

[BeardofPants]

I love Monty Python... but I feckin' hate the oft' quoted Holy Grail. :grumpy:

Anyhoo...

I've got two legs from the hips to the ground,
And when I move them they walk around,
And when I lift them they climb the stairs,
And when I shave them they ain't got hairs.

I've got two legs…

*BLAM*

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what i mean;)

[ItalianLegolas]

"It could be an African swallow!"
"Well an African Swallow maybe, but not a normal swallow thats what I'm saying"

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

Wing Commander Muriel Volestrangler KCB MBE :D

he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy

We are the Judaean People's Front (Kamikaze Squad), everyone present arms! & Stab! <graarrgh> that wasn't supposed to do that!

[ItalianLegolas]

I am a professional camel-watcher!
And how many camels have you seen?
Well, none, actually.
???????????????
Well you see, there really aren't any camels in this area.

[Pytt]

I need to see more Monty. Especially from the Circus. haven't seen a bit, almost. Only the movies; Meaning of Life, Holy Grail and Life of Brian.

[Nurvingiel]

I love Monty Python... but I feckin' hate the oft' quoted Holy Grail. :grumpy:

Anyhoo...

I've got two legs from the hips to the ground,
And when I move them they walk around,
And when I lift them they climb the stairs,
And when I shave them they ain't got hairs.

I've got two legs…

*BLAM*
Gwahaha!!! I love "I got two legs".

You hate the Holy Grail!? But it's hilarious! It's Classic Python. :cool:

You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest wiiiith... a herring!
-But that's impossible!
Oh please.

*whisper* It's the old man from scene 24!

[brownjenkins]

BRIAN: Did you say... 'ex-leper'?

EX-LEPER: That's right, sir. Sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, sir.
BRIAN: Well, what happened?

EX-LEPER: I was cured, sir.

BRIAN: Cured?

EX-LEPER: Yes, sir, a bloody miracle, sir. God bless you.

BRIAN: Who cured you?

EX-LEPER: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business. All of a sudden, up he comes. Cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. 'You're cured mate.' Bloody do-gooder.

BRIAN: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?

EX-LEPER: Ah, yeah. I could do that, sir. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose. What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the arse, to be blunt. Excuse my French, sir, but, uh--

MANDY: Brian! Come and clean your room out.

BRIAN: There you are.

EX-LEPER: Thank you, sir. Thanks-- Half a denary for me bloody life story?

BRIAN: There's no pleasing some people.

EX-LEPER: That's just what Jesus said, sir.

[Pytt]

BRIAN:
Are you the Judean People's Front?
REG:
**** off!
BRIAN:
What?
REG:
Judean People's Front. We're the People's Front of Judea! Judean People's Front. Cawk.
FRANCIS:
Wankers.
BRIAN:
Can I... join your group?
REG:
No. Piss off.

The whole scene is so good, but I didn't make it all, the post would have been huge!

[inked]

BoP is an heretic! Not like the Holy Grail!? Absurd! Beyond Absurd. A bloody great TURD that!

Send her to get the great beast of an ATTACK Rabbit! :evil:

THE MEDICAL LOVE SONG is an all-time classic as well. Just remember that NGU is now known as Clamydia! :eek:

[Elemmírë]

All I've seen so far is the Holy Grail. :(

My brother ordered the Flying Circus from the library... but I went away to college before he got it. :mad: That's always the way, isn't it? :p

[Starr Polish]

BoP is an heretic! Not like the Holy Grail!? Absurd! Beyond Absurd. A bloody great TURD that!

Send her to get the great beast of an ATTACK Rabbit! :evil:

THE MEDICAL LOVE SONG is an all-time classic as well. Just remember that NGU is now known as Clamydia! :eek:

With big, scary, pointy TEETHS!

What a peculiar performance.

[Falagar]

Holy Grail, Flying Circus, Bwian...Love 'em all.

Mum: He's had a hard day dear... his new play opens at the National Theatre tomorrow.

Ken: Oh that's good.

Dad: Good! good? What do you know about it? What do you know about getting up at five o'clock in t'morning to fly to Paris... back at the Old Vic for drinks at twelve, sweating the day through press interviews, television interviews and getting back here at ten to wrestle with the problem of a homosexual nymphomaniac drug-addict involved in the ritual murder of a well known Scottish footbailer· That's a full working day, lad, and don't you forget it!

Mum: Oh, don't shout at the boy, father.

Dad: Aye, 'ampstead wasn't good enough for you, was it? ... you had to go poncing off to BarnsIcy, you and yer coal-mining friends. (spits)

Ken: Coal-mining is a wonderful thing father, but it's something you'll never understand. Just look at you!
Brilliant.

[Minielin]

I like the dirty spoon skit.

And now for the punchline...
THE PUNCHLINE
"Good thing I didn't tell him about the dirty knife!"

Also the funniest joke in the world. That one is priceless.

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

and now, the middle of the film

[Embladyne]

Can't remember the script, but the Fruit attacks sketch is a favourite...as well as the couple going to the psychyatrist...:p...
I really need to rewatch again...and make sure EL is there.

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

#...It's Christmas in Heaven...#

:D:D

[Insidious Rex]

Enjoy: http://www.entmoot.com/showthread.php?t=367 :D

Anyone can regurgitate well known lines. Lets see some creativity and combine it with something we all love. And I still say Cirdan was the master of this stuff.

[Minielin]

Well, if that's your cup of tea, read this: http://www.xenocorp.net/H_bardCorner/MPFotR.htm
It's complete and very funny, particularly the scene with Merry and Pippin in the Prancing Pony a la the Holy Grail effeminate prince's guards.

Pippin: Ha, ha, what a kidder! (loudly) Hey everyone, come and meet Mr. "Underhill" with his plain, old, ordinary gold ring! Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say-no-more, say-no-more!
Frodo: Any chance we can "accidentally" leave Pippin and Merry here?

[Rían]

Oh, I remember the fruit attacks, and that coal miner sketch is great!

Does anyone remember the Olympic Hide-and-Seek sketch from one of the tv shows? That one just cracked me up! Also the "someone of the north" sketch (can't remember the name) where all it is is the announcer saying in an impressive voice, "Someone of the North", and some guy totally wrapped up in furs and skins, trying to get up on his horse, and he can't do it because he can hardly move!

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

Gilraen to Elrond: He's not the Elessar, he's a very naughty boy!

[ItalianLegolas]

How about the one where all the aliens come and make the scottish guy make them kilts, and they go to Wimbledon? or the camel watcher?

[Snowdog]

I been watching The Flying Circus on BBC and for the most part I still crack up at the humor. Some is a bit much to take without the drugs, but still, great stuff!

So have you Pythonos ever seen Yellowbeard??

[durinsbane2244]

the spanish inquisition is great,

as is the fish slapping dance and the man who is alternatly rude and polite:
(a bit)

o, thank you

O THANK YOU SAYS THE GREAT QUEEN, LIKE A LA-DEE-DA POOFTA!

[durinsbane2244]

come on some one!

[Morelen]

I've only seen the Holy Grail...but it was enough to make me fall in love. :o :p

[durinsbane2244]

on your quote, is that from james bond? tommorow never dies i think, around there, the computer nerd?

[Snowdog]

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

[Lotesse]

Hey, you guys, I watched Excalibur last night, and I'm wondering if any of you know - did the makers of the Monty Python films get a lot of their comedic ideas from having seen this hilarious movie? Excalibur in itself views like a VERY, very cheaply made spoof or farce in and of itself.
*braces self for possible heavy bombing attack*

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

the pythons began writing sketches when they were at university together

[Lotesse]

But when did they write, for instance, The Holy Grail? Excalibur was released in 1981. Incidently, do you know what years they were at university together?

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

they were at univeristy in the 60's, and the films and tv series were released in the 70's, with meaning of life being in the 80's

[Lotesse]

That's trippy, because - if you haven't seen Excalibur yet, check it out, you'll see what I'm going on about. The timing's not right, so Monty Python couldn't have been spoofing Excalibur, but in watching Excalibur it was so funny, I kept half expecting one of those guys to pop into a camera shot and start with the "we are the knights who say 'ni'" or "but FAHthuh, I don't want to be king"; stuff like that.

[Insidious Rex]

Well of course John Boorman is a big fan of Python but you do realize both movies are based on the same age old legends right? Le Morte De Arthur? And yes Boorman's rendition is considered quite the classic... I can mouth almost as many lines in Excalibur as I can in Holy Grail.

[Lotesse]

No! I didn't realize that!! I'm an idiot! Come on, of course I realized Excalibur was derived from Malory. It's just - well, lemme put it this way - 'tis a silly movie ;) .

[Insidious Rex]

Its a classic! How many movies can you see John Luke Picard with hair shouting IF A BOY HAS BEEN CHOSEN!!! A BOY SHALL BE KING!!!

[Lotesse]

True that, true that! :D

[Lotesse]

..it's sorry this, forgive me that, now what are you doing?

we are averting our eyes, oh Lord!

:D :D Again, LOL!!

[katya]

I love my Monday gym class! The teacher is crazy. You know the "ministry of funny walks" bit? Well that`s basically what we did in class last week. I think I have Monty Python deficiency lately.

[Rían]

That sounds like such fun, katya! And this is in Japan?

[katya]

Yes, of course. :) It is fun! I`m glad I have that class instead of kendo or judo on Mondays for gym because the things we do are just so silly. The first marking period thing we made up our own excersize dances in groups and then performed them- it was hilarious. Now we`re doing some sort of acting out with your body a natural disaster. I wonder if they`ll make me be a cloud or rain or wind or what (typhoon!).

[shesabrandybuck]

AHA! I knew I could find one!

[shesabrandybuck]

So, I was in spanish today, and we are learning about Spains history and what not. So, we were setting up our board for "Loteria" (BINGO), and she writes down the words that are going to be used for the board on the overhead. As I am writing down the words in some boxes I look up and see that "Inquisition" is one of the words. I had to sit there and laugh to myself.


Nobody expects the SPANISH INQUISITION!!!!!

[shesabrandybuck]

Happy birthday John Cleese :D