The Important Questions

[Ñólendil]

Hello all, I just thought I'd make a valid contribution to the board for a change, as lately I've just been making bad jokes. I thought I'd start by making a list of all the important Tolkien questions that haven't been asked before. Maybe it will start a good worth-while Middle-earth discussion, maybe not, we'll see.

1. What would Bernie from Weekend at Bernie's do if he got the One Ring? What sort of evil anthem would play in his head as he walked into the ocean with the mermaid chick?

2. Who is better, King Kong or Valandil (the Entmoot member, not the character)? And why do you think so? Keep in mind this is an intellectual discussion.

3. Who's more irritating, Orlando Bloom, or the fans he stole from the Backstreet Boys?

4. What's your favorite inanimate object from "Shadow of the Past"? Make sure you read eachother's posts and appreciate other people's opinions, that's what this discussion is all about.

5. If Tom Bombadil isn't Santa Claus, then who is?

6. We've all heard the Legolas's hair-color debates. What about his pants? What brand of Elvenware did he prefer?

7. Four Harfoots go to the barber. Three of the Harfoots have lice in their beards, and they want their beards combed. What are the odds [hint: percentage] other customers who came later will get the lice from the combs used?

8. Let's say you think what-if questions are worthwhile ... insert punchline here.

9. What if you were a resident of Middle-earth?

10. If a former bitter administrator posts a bunch of mostly inside-jokes on his favorite message board, and no one is there to get them, is it funny?

Thanks for reading The Important Questions. You've been dooped.

[Valandil]

My, my... YOU were on an odd kick yesterday! :p I've just made a bad joke or two myself, so I'm not inclined to just close this right out (although if any OTHER admin or mod would like... ;) ).

Meanwhile, I'd love to hear the discussion for item #2... :D

[Lizra]

Those questions are SO important, I'll think I'll just mosey on over to another thread. :eek: :p

Well, actually, I think the fans he stole from the Backstreet Boys are more iritating.... :)

[brownjenkins]

king kong got a date with fay wray... big points in my book... but val's a bit more articulate... guess it's a toss-up :confused: ;)

[BeardofPants]

I can tell you what Leggie's pants colours were, but I'm not gonna (trade secrets and all). :p

[Fat middle]

7. Four Harfoots go to the barber. Three of the Harfoots have lice in their beards, and they want their beards combed. What are the odds [hint: percentage] other customers who came later will get the lice from the combs used?
Hey, I know that: it's 0%


or rather it's a wrong problem because...



... it should be Harfeet :p

[Haradrim]

AH now theres a question. Harfoots or Harfeet. I have to go with Harfoots because its a name and not an object so you would just add an s to the end.

[Ñólendil]

Fat Middle, actually, it's a trick question. Harfoots don't grow beards. So double doop on you.

[Haradrim]

Nolendil I think Fat Middle said 0% meaning they dont have beards. But if I am wrong Fat Middle please correct me. :)

[Lefty Scaevola]

If one prefers a higher level of discussion on Tolken, would the rational course of action would be to find or create site exculsively for those more erudite in the topic, rather than futilly pouring sarcasm and derision upon an open to all forum?

[Haradrim]

Well anyone HArfoots or Harfeet?

[Ñólendil]

If one prefers a higher level of discussion on Tolken, would the rational course of action would be to find or create site exculsively for those more erudite in the topic, rather than futilly pouring sarcasm and derision upon an open to all forum?

No, I'm all for futile sarcasm and derision. Tastes better.

[Haradrim]

totally agree Nolendil. Thats the point; open forum right. If we want to make sarcastic comments then that is our perogative as long as it isnt spam. messing around is one of the fun things to do here at the moot

[Rían]

How 'bout this: if a former bitter administrator tells a current non-bitter normalMooter that he will check out a quote she posted, and he DOESN'T, will the hair on his toes fall out? ;) :p

Here's the link: here (http://entmoot.tolkientrail.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=376532#post376532)

And I think Val is better, because he has 3 cute kids!

[Fat middle]

Nolendil I think Fat Middle said 0% meaning they dont have beards. But if I am wrong Fat Middle please correct me. :)
You're correct. The Harfeet thing was only an added joke


... but yet an important question :p

[Haradrim]

So seriously. Harfoots or Harfeet
I think Harfoots because its a name so you add an s at the end. :)

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Yeah. I agree. Harfoots.

[Haradrim]

Harfoots: II
Harfeet: 0

Yes one for my side. ANybody else.

[Ñólendil]

I feel horrible my wonderful thread has been reduced to a Harfoot/Harfeet debate. I "bah" at you all.

[Haradrim]

How can you say it. We are discussing a question that has been discussed since the beginning of Hobbit kind. It is probably the greatest unasnwered question of all Hobbitdom. Its an amazing question. SO what do tyou think? :)

[BeardofPants]

Oh Dylan, why don't you chill, and have a cheese sandwich? :p

[Haradrim]

oooh any for me?

[Ñólendil]

*munches ruefully on his smoked gouda & avacado sandwich, wishing he had a really crushing remark to deliver*

[Haradrim]

ooh for me! Well until you think of one! LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA! lol just kidding.
But Nolendil what is your opinion on Harfoots or Harfeet matter?

[Lefty Scaevola]

your opinion on Harfoots or Harfeet matter?Stupid hairy footed little shire dweebs. :p

[Attalus]

Fat Middle, actually, it's a trick question. Harfoots don't grow beards. So double doop on you.Got that one. :P

[Haradrim]

Well it looks like the dignity of the the thred diminished when I started posting. :) oh well....!

[Ñólendil]

But Nolendil what is your opinion on Harfoots or Harfeet matter?

I hope the whole discussion explodes into a pile of gooey gore. Not because the answer is easy (because it is), but just because I was trying to be mean to just this sort of line of questioning. If pressed, I would tell you that the correct plural is Harfoots. Tolkien said Harfoots, and it's logical anyway. We're Humans, not Humen. That Proudfoot at Bilbo's party said "Proudfeet", and all the hobbits laughed, but Bilbo immediately corrected him with "Proudfoots".

All the same I suppose you should be thanked by those who took offense to my topic, as you have successfully turned this into what I suppose is a perfectly valid discussion, rather than my attempt, which was more of a rude jab at posters.

So, disregard my cynicism, and carry on, and all that jazz.

[Haradrim]

Well lya know Im always trying to help out. :) thanks for the compliment. :)

So as of now:
3 Harfoots
0 Harfeet

There is argument for HArfeet because dont you get to decide how you end your last name. I mena if they want to be called Harfeet then shouldnt that be your name. Im still for HArfoots but I am just trying to open the discussion for it.

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Yeah when they've come of age maybe they can legally change their name.

[Haradrim]

(just for the sake of keeping this going I wil take the HArfeet side) But why should they have too. If they call themselves Harfeet when talking about several of themselves then isnt that their name and shouldn t Bilbo have respected the prouddfeet as well. I mean who is he to say that they are pronouncing their own name incorrectly.

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Maybe but it's interesting that only themselves thought of themas harfeet or proudfeet. Maybe it was what they called themselves.

[Haradrim]

yeah on one hand they called themselves whatever they want and peole hould repect that but on the other hand we have simple rules of grammar which tell us otherwise. SO its a hard choice.

[Ñólendil]

Wow. I feel pain. Thanks guys.

[Haradrim]

Oh its my pleasure. It is a good debate and one worth considering. :)

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Maybe worth considering but the answer is Harfoots. That was their name they could have called themselves something different but it didn't change their anme.

[BeardofPants]

I have an insane urge to chew my own head off.

[Haradrim]

However just because the language dictates that doesnt mean that was not their name. I mean if they want to be called Harfeet then isnt that their name. I mean I dont think they had brith certificates did they. So what their deesire is should be their name.

BoP dont eat you head off. Please?

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

There was definitly a Hobbit legal systm so the head of them would have had to do something

[Haradrim]

There was a mayor whos main job was to show up at banquets and stuff. there were police but they mainly policed out siders and there were post men. That was it cept for the great took and the thain. So there wouldnt have been birth certificates and the HArfeet can be called whatever they desire and that is their name.

[Michael Martinez]

There was a mayor whos main job was to show up at banquets and stuff. there were police but they mainly policed out siders and there were post men. That was it cept for the great took and the thain. So there wouldnt have been birth certificates and the HArfeet can be called whatever they desire and that is their name.

The Mayor of Michel Delving was in charge of the Shirrifs and the Shire Post, as well as responsible for residing at banquets.

Who here can explain the only document Shire law debate (as described by Tolkien in one of his letters)?