Smartman

[Lief Erikson]

*This is a story I've written that I haven't yet posted on Entmoot, so I thought I would. Smartman is the hero of this story. The end of each individual post is a section break.*

Smartman

“Will you please send my proposal of marriage to Nironelle for me, my trusted councilor? You cannot possibly understand what I am feeling,” Prince Airborne continued, “for you have never married, but my love is deep and intense. I am in love with the fair princess of the land, Nironelle. A fairer lady never was seen.”

“Certainly true, sir,” Smartman answered with an understanding nod. “But would she want to come to our country, the land of Smartname, to live?”

“Ah, I’m sure she will!” Airborne’s voice sounded like velvet rustled over paper— so nobody heard it.

“Sorry; what was that, sir?”

“AH, I AM SURE SHE WILL!” Airborne crowed in triumph, and Smartman covered his ears in pain.

“You know not what true love is,” Airborne said with a romantic, forlorn, pasty grin. “If she feels half of what is in my heart, she will not be able to avoid fainting with adoration.

“You know how fair young ladies are, with their delicate temperaments,” he said knowingly to Smartman. “If I was not so strong and powerful, I might do the same thing. My handsomeness is no bonus,” he said with a small laugh. “Even though it is great.”

“I see, sir,” Smartman said. “How if she won’t accept to marry you?”

“Then tell her I understand,” Airborne answered, “and I will make the date sooner, for her own sake.

“Ladies are quick to lose their affection, you know.”

“What if she loses it the moment I offer your proposal for you, sir?”

“Then she is not worthy of me, but I will accept her anyway,” Airborne answered.

“Will you force her to marry you?” Smartman queried.

“Ah, surely you realize, love is in the heart,” Airborne said with a wide smile.

“So you wouldn’t allow me to force her?”

“The love that is in us will draw us together. You have my authorization to eliminate anything that gets in the way of our affection.”

“I understand you sir,” Smartman answered.

He bowed before the prince and left the room. Smartman had his own reasons for wanting this marriage to take place. If the princess married Airborne, the kingdom of Smartname and the kingdom of Torleith would be united under Airborne’s rulership, after the current king of Torleith died. Smartman was planning to arrange that death to happen swiftly after the marriage, so that Airborne would assume the position of ultimate power in the land. Then Smartman would become of a far higher rank himself, and could see about getting the crown for his own position.

Smartman was glad that he was named what he was; his name did suit him.

“Pigsnout!” he called his squire by name; he stood nearby. The squire ran up to him.

“Saddle two horses, one for you and one for me,” Smartman told him gracefully.

The squire swiftly did as he was told. He knew what disobedience meant, a hasty death. Smartman was ruthless when he wasn’t obeyed, and everyone in the castle knew it.

[Lief Erikson]

When Smartman reached Veruale, the capital of Torleith, he was escorted immediately into the presence of the queen and king of the land. There were many courtiers were in the room already; so many indeed that the king and queen couldn’t be found.

“Why are there so many courtiers here?” Smartman asked one of them as he tugged on the man’s elbow.

“Every man who is in command of two soldiers in this kingdom is a courtier,” the man answered. “Courtiers are given free access to the king and queen. There used to be a law that only the king and queen could have soldiers, but then they didn’t have any courtiers, because only someone who has two soldiers in the kingdom can be a courtier. So the king and queen put a noble of the country Smartname (his name was Bulbhead, for your information Mr.,) in charge of getting them some courtiers. He gave away 1,000 troops of the army, so our palace is constantly swarming with the five hundred courtiers.”

“I see,” Smartman said with a sneer. “CLEAR THE WAY!” he roared, and the courtiers scuttled aside in fright. Like a bunch of cockroaches, Smartman thought.

He walked up to the king, whom he could now see. He had no dias for his throne, so he looked awfully small. His wife looked even smaller. Smartman looked down on them as if they were bugs.

“PIGSNOUT!” he roared. His squire had better not take too much time getting to him; it would be embarrassing. For some reason the king looked furious; Smartman couldn’t understand these foreign idiots.

His squire ran up to him.

“Produce our prince’s message,” Smartman ordered, and Pigsnout fumbled in his coat pocket for it.

“How dare you call me . . .” the king hissed, his cheeks red with fury, now.
Smartman didn’t get it at all, but he wasn’t going to put up with this rubbish.

“Sire, your daughter’s marrying the prince of my kingdom will make our kingdoms great, because they’d be united when you die. Will you accept my prince’s proposal of marriage?”

“I AM ALREADY MARRIED!” the king roared, standing to his feet, blazing with anger.

“That has nothing to do with it,” Smartman answered, annoyed at having his ears so disrupted again.

“I WILL NOT MARRY AGAIN!” the king roared again. His wife nodded fiercely, which Smartman thought was a bit ungenerous of her. But this conversation was going entirely the wrong way.

“AND ESPECIALLY NOT TO A MAN!” the king shouted, his words reverberating around the walls of the chamber. The courtiers, fell to the ground, covering their ears. Smartman only barely remained on his feet through the blast.

“Your wishes on that subject have nothing to do with it,” Smartman said, drawing gasps from the crowd. What was wrong with these people?

“I will decide whether I marry or not!” The king’s voice was toned down a little bit now, because he was getting a little hoarse. “You are a disgusting pervert!”

“Well now, I say!” Smartman said angrily, drawing himself to his full height. He looked down upon the miserable little king, who was behaving so rudely. “Treat your guests with more respect!”

“If you treat your hosts with more respect!” the king answered. “Guards, seize him!”

“No, wait sir!” Pigsnout said, thrusting Airborne’s message in front of the king’s nose.

The king’s eyes flicked toward Pigsnout, but the message was too close to his face for him to see anything but it.

He snatched it out of Pigsnout’s hands and read it quickly. Then, pausing, he reread it. Then he reread it again. Then a smile broke over his face. “Ah, I see what you mean.”

He grinned more broadly yet. “Ah, ha, ha, ha. What a funny joke! I thought you were talking about him marrying me!”

“What did you say?” Smartman asked curiously, leaning a little closer to the king. The man’s voice was all together too low; he’d apparently overexerted himself in his argument.

“I said!” the king said, speaking up as loudly as he was able. It was a normal tone of voice, but it sounded badly strained. “I said that was funny. Your prince may marry my daughter. Yes, I have no problem with that.”

Instantly the courtiers rushed forward, laughing and bumbling, tripping over their own feet and roaring with laughter. They started slapping Smartman on the back, on the shoulders, banging him around the room with mirth.

“Ah, ha, ha, ha! What a funny joke!”

“Hilarious, simply hilarious! Never heard of anything so funny!”

Smartman still didn’t get it, and he didn’t understand what was so funny, but he knew he was about to die by being beaten to death! He saw Pigsnout extending his hand out to him through the sea of bodies and he grabbed onto it, holding it like a lifeline. He was about to be crushed to death, and what would become of his own plans for power if that happened?

He was pulled to safety, but he found himself unable to get up. His strength had been squooshed out of him.

Pigsnout carried him out of the room, and Smartman caught a glimpse of a pile of courtiers in front of the doorway as they left down the hall. The ones on the bottom of the pile looked very queasy; Smartman had been pulled out of there. How had they gotten into that state, anyway?

He felt he’d regained his strength now, and quickly he pulled himself off of Pigsnout’s shoulders and to his feet. He fell down again a moment later, and Pigsnout picked him up again. All he saw was the floor as he was carried up to his room.

[Lief Erikson]

“Nironelle is a light, playful thing,” a courtier named Caster told Smartman the next day, when Smartman was sufficiently recovered to get up. “You must treat her gently.”

“I will,” Smartman answered.

“I mean it,” Caster said warningly. “She is in danger of just falling apart. If you touch her too hard, she’ll scream in pain.”

“My prince would agree with you perfectly,” Smartman said irritably. “But no woman is like that; I wish men in this world were smarter. Like me.”

He tripped over Caster’s leg that was in front of his own for some reason, and fell flat on his face.

“Watch where you put your legs,” he said. He got to his feet and they continued.

“Your thinking so highly of your own brains will get you killed one day,” Caster told him.

“Are you a prophet?” Smartman sneered.

“I can see it written on your head.”

“You have nothing in your head.”

Somehow Caster’s knee happened to slam into Smartman’s bottom.

“Ouch!” he said, getting a little angry at Caster’s clumsiness. “Watch where you’re going!”

“So sorry,” Caster answered, which Smartman found logical. The man should be sorry.

“Here’s our princess’s chambers,” Caster said, motioning with one hand to a pair of double doors.

Smartman pushed the doors open and walked in. “Where are you, princess? Where do you hide?”

He looked under the bed, and standing up realized she was sitting on the bed.

“Oh, hello. You should answer when someone calls you.”

He stopped right after saying that, staring at her. This was unbelievable— he’d never seen any woman so lovely in all his life! Was what he was feeling love? He must believe it was! It had hit him right before the eyes so hard and fast that he could never have believed it! Cupid’s arrow had shot him through the heart! Who would ever have believed it? No wonder Airborne had seemed so crazy about her after one small glimpse, while he’d been visiting this court. No wonder he’d been too afraid to ask for himself! And now Smartman was here to ask for him— what if she accepted Airborne’s proposal? Could Smartman live with his heart torn in two?

His old plans for conquering the realm were forgotten. His old schemes of murder and villainy were gone, replaced by new thoughts of romance, love and happiness and nobility.

“Ah,” he said romantically, a grin spreading across his face.

“Huh?” she responded, the word falling from her lips like a series of pearls, that landed, tinkling upon the keys of a piano.

What would happen if he got her to speak a whole series of words? What bliss would he be in then???!!!

She looked skeptical of his brilliance, but she hadn’t heard him speak of what his thoughts were yet. Her hair was blonde and her skin smooth as silk. Her gown, which he hardly noticed, despite its finery, was of scarlet satin. She was very slim and her gown fitted her body closely.

“What is it that you want?” she asked, standing up and walking a couple steps to the side, before turning back to him.

Smartman’s eyes went cross eyed and he fainted.

[Lief Erikson]

“I managed to explain your weakness,” Caster told him as he woke up. “I told her you were still too weakened from the injuries you’d suffered, though I don’t know why I stood up for you.”

This last was too much for Smartman’s already wounded dignity to bear.

Furiously, he seized Caster by the throat and threw him against the opposite wall. Or at least he tried to; all he managed to do was push his hand against the man’s neck.

Caster slapped his hand away in annoyance. “Don’t be an idiot.”

Smartman’s initial passion now was dimmed slightly. He still loved the princess, but now his mind was back in his head. He had been an idiot, and he hadn’t fainted because of his injuries.

“Thank-you for making that story for me,” he said, sitting up straight in his bed. He was wearing a pale blue nightgown, he realized.

“What do you plan to do now?” Caster asked him.

“Propose my love for her, of course. Er—” he hastily amended—“Propose my prince’s love for her is what I meant, of course.”

“Of course,” Caster said softly, but he looked suspicious. Why he should be suspicious was beyond Smartman. He couldn’t be suspicious of Smartman, for Smartman always had been brilliant in disguising the way things really were in his heart. No one ever could or would see through his strategies, so Caster couldn’t be suspicious of him. Maybe he was suspicious that the princess wouldn’t accept Airborne’s proposal.

“Don’t worry,” Smartman told Caster, “I’m a skilled messenger. I know what you’re afraid of.”

Caster’s expression of suspicion changed to puzzlement. “What?”

“And you needn’t worry about that,” Smartman said, winking cheerfully. He was proud of himself for ignoring Caster’s rude interruption.

“What are you talking about?” Caster said. Plainly he was more stupid than Smartman had suspected.

“Don’t be afraid, I’ll take care of everything.” Smartman got out of the bed and went into the bathroom, after picking up his clothes. He had successfully tricked Caster, most likely. No one could see through Smartman’s tricks, and Caster would never suspect that Smartman was actually trying to convince the princess to marry him, rather than Airborne.

[Lief Erikson]

Nironelle looked up as Smartman entered her bedroom. He hadn’t bothered with knocking; he thought himself friends enough with her to not bother with doing that anymore.

“You should knock before entering,” she said coldly.

She couldn’t be talking to him; they were too close of friends for that. He looked around to see if she was talking to someone else. “Is he hiding?” he asked.

“Who?”

He decided to condescend to answering her. Since she was such a dear friend, she at least deserved some inkling of his superior intellect’s thoughts. “The man you just were speaking to.”

“You thought you heard me holding a conversation with someone through the door?” she queried.

“I didn’t hear any such thing,” Smartman answered swiftly. “But anyway, that’s beside the point.”

“And what is the point?” For some reason, she looked a little exasperated. She was probably just exasperated at the smallness of her own intelligence.

“I would like to speak with you in private,” Smartman said, winking knowingly.

“We are in private,” Nironelle said, walking up to Smartman, probably to kiss him. Instead, she just closed the door. He was confused. Why would she walk over to kiss him and then only close the door?

“What do you have to say?” she asked, looking extremely annoyed now.

“I’ll tell you after we’re in private,” Smartman answered, and he decided he must take charge of the situation. If only to save her from her own brainlessness, if for nothing else.

He grabbed ahold of her arm and led her forcefully out of the room, ignoring her squawks of protest.

“I know there was someone in there other than us two,” he told her as he let her go.

“I don’t care if there was or not!” she said furiously, “but I never want to see you again!”

She stalked off and slammed the door of her room. Perhaps Airborne was right in his opinions about women.

[Lief Erikson]

“Forgive me sir, but I suspect you’ve got it all wrong,” Pigsnout told him later.

“What makes you think that?” Smartman answered. This fellow was too stupid to be worth getting angry with.

“Women aren’t ever that stupid. I think there probably was no one in her room, so everything you said to her was confusing to her.”

Smartman thought about it for a moment. Well . . . that actually might be the case! In which case, it was no wonder that she had gotten so mad at him.
Smartman’s face went beet red with blushing. She must really think him a stupid man now, but he knew he could convince her otherwise. At least maybe he could. Was it really possible that he might be stupid again?

“I don’t think you know her that well yet,” Pigsnout said. “But of course, you don’t really need to know her well, do you? Just offer Airborne’s proposal and we’ll get out of here.”

“It’s not that simple,” Smartman told him, irritably.

“We’re allowed to kidnap her and bring her to Airborne by force if she doesn’t accept,” Pigsnout continued. “Our orders aren’t really that complicated, and you know she’s got no bodyguards. From what happened between you and her earlier today, we know very well that you’re stronger than her in terms of muscles. I probably am too. So can’t we just get on with it?”

“I might not be friends with her,” Smartman said softly. “I always thought I was, and with good reasons. But she might consider me to be a villain now, rather than a friend.”

“What does it matter?” Pigsnout asked angrily.

“I’m not going to force her to do anything,” Smartman informed his squire.

“Then you’re disobeying the king’s orders!”

Smartman cuffed the impudent wretch over the head, and then pulled Pigsnout’s hair fondly.

“OW!”

“Stop being so stupid,” Smartman said, gritting his teeth. “I am the prince’s councilor and was trusted with this mission. Don’t you tell me how to accomplish it, little fellow.”

Then he left the brainless squire alone in the room and hurried off to continue his courtship of Nironelle.

He realized now that he would be wise not to take her affection of him for granted, anymore. It was true that she hadn’t known him for very long, though the amount of time she had had with him should be enough to inspire true love in her bosom. Well, maybe there hadn’t been quite enough time for that yet, but it was pretty close.

He walked along the corridor and came up to her room. Perhaps he should knock.

He knocked once. Then he knocked twice more, and started humming to himself merrily. “Hum didldy hum didldy hum didldy dum.”

She opened the door. She was wearing a silver colored shirt and pants, with gold lightning emblazened through the shirt and pants. Apparently they’d been made to go together. He didn’t approve of the clothes she’d chosen to wear, but he decided not to mention them. Her face was as beautiful as ever, and he wished he could run his hand through that long, soft hair.

“Mm,” he said.

“I am about to go out riding,” she said, slipping past him.

“I’ll go with you,” Smartman volunteered. He was in the mood for riding anyway.

“Thank-you, but I’d prefer to ride alone.”

“I assure you, I won’t be a nuisance,” Smartman said with a superior chuckle. A moment later he wished he hadn’t added in the superior chuckle; she looked mad again. Perhaps he should try a more humble approach.

“Who are you anyway?” she asked, turning to face him.

“My name is Smartman.”

“I should have known,” she said, and turned away.

“I think you’re doing yourself an injustice,” he said, catching up with her quickly.

“You may need more brains, but you couldn’t have known my name was Smartman. I haven’t been acting extremely smart around you lately.”

That last sentence was very hard for him to get out; he wasn’t used to lying. But she appeared pleased by it. Maybe he should lie more often.

“Indeed, I’ve been acting very stupid,” he said with a grin.

“Yes, you have!” she said, laughing. She was relaxed now, and she grinned a little. “So, you want to come riding with me?”

She might actually be serious about thinking him stupid! How abysmally stupid of her! Ah well, he was in love. But the fact that she seemed in agreement with Pigsnout about Smartman’s performance annoyed him.

“Here’s the stables,” she said as they reached them.

The place smelled of straw, sawdust and horse manure. Smartman wrinkled his nose, but he wasn’t above entering such a place, if it would assist his chances at making Nironelle his bride.

Nironelle saddled and bridled her own horse, while Smartman watched.

“You really should get a servant,” he told her as she looked at his horse.

“You really should set up your own horse,” she told him.

“I’ve never done it before, and I hardly want to start now,” he told her.

“Fine. Then stay behind,” she said, grinning at him harshly. She mounted her own horse, put her feet in the stirrups and rode out the stable doors at a swift trot.

“She is making this romance so hard!” Smartman said angrily as he kicked some straw into the air. “She’s hardly being very helpful! She demands much from me without giving anything in return! Well, I have no choice but to accept these blows. Either that, or I must follow my prince’s order. The only thing preventing me from following my prince’s order is my love for the princess.”

He kicked some more straw into the air, and then picked up the saddle.

[Lief Erikson]

The valley flew past Smartman as he galloped over its grassy fields. He was looking around for Nironelle, but she was clearly not in plain sight. Apparently she had gone off for some kind of ridiculous notion of hers, to do a game of tag. The stables obviously were safe.

Smartman smiled, a surge of pleasure entering his bosom. She had made things very difficult for him, forcing him to saddle his own horse in his pursuit of her. Yet
she had set the rules for their love, and he would follow them.

He realized that he was being quite obvious, riding through the open valley. He should be approaching by a more secretive route.

He set off at a gallop to his right, grinning as he did. Nironelle was probably hiding somewhere ahead, watching for him. Well, he would come around from behind her.

He descended a slope into a small ravine and continued riding along at a goodly pace. Up ahead, in the grass of the valley, he could now see her riding along at a canter. He galloped, keeping his head low, and rode to cut her off.

He rose out of the ravine and charged her like a lightning bolt.

He had just enough time to see her turn her head, her eyes widening in surprise, and then he had crashed into her.

Their horses collapsed, screaming, but he ignored them. He had Nironelle tight in his arms.

“Your game is over, my love!” he claimed triumphantly.

He kissed her full on the lips. She struggled, but all decent young ladies struggle. He held tight onto her, kissing her deeply. This was the epitome of romance!

“Get off of me you disgusting wretch!” she cried, getting her hands on his face and pushing him away.

He got up, confused by her sudden shift in her emotions. She was just sore at losing the game!

“Let me remind you,” he said, raising his finger to half an inch from her nose. “You are not very good at hiding.”

She was clearly furious, but she moved over to her horse to try and help it.
Smartman decided to favor her with some sound advice from his brilliant intellect.

Since she clearly was unnaturally stupid, despite her beauty, he would have to help her. “You should learn your A-B-C’s.”

This remark didn’t seem to go over at all well with her.

“And your numbers,” he said.

“Would you please do me a favor,” she said, looking at him coldly. “Please leave the kingdom and don’t return.”

“But we need to inherit the kingdom when we are married,” Smartman said to her. “We can leave it at first, certainly, but in the end it will have to be ours.”

“Smartman,” she said, clearly keeping her voice under tight control. “I do not love you, and I will never marry you. Surely you are smart enough to see that.”

Smartman frowned, trying to understand her hidden meaning. Clearly she meant she had had a brain lapse upon the fall, a mild concussion. That had stopped her from understanding the truth about her own feelings.

“You need to see a good doctor,” he advised, wisely.

She shook her head in disbelief. Then she mounted her horse and rode away, off into the valleys.

He caught up to her soon on his own horse. “If you refuse to see a good doctor, we will not be able to marry.”

“The doctor would have to replace my brain with that of a toothless hag,”

Nironelle said, viciously. “Stop following me!”

So he should lead her.

He seized hold of her reins and led her toward the doctor’s office.

“Go away from me, now!” she shouted.

He ignored her, and she punched him in the head!

He reeled in the saddle and stared at her in shock. He hadn’t expected insanity in her! Either that or she was the most wretched ungrateful woman he had ever seen!

Perhaps if she married Airborne, he would die quickly because of her villainy. Smartman’s fury knew no bounds. His heart was broken, except of course he was brilliant enough to mend it with evil. He filled it with evil to fill in the gap of brokenness, and grinned evilly. He now was just back to how he had been before he knew Nironelle.

She was unworthy of him, worthy only of Airborne.

Smartman’s evil was in him again, and his wicked laughter rang out across the valley. He grabbed Nironelle, binding and gagging her.

“Well, well, well,” he said, smirking evilly. “You don’t seem in such a good position now, princess. If you won’t marry me, then you will be forced to marry my prince.”

Smartman looked behind him to see his squire, Pigsnout, already present.

“The time has come, my trusty squire, for these events to reach their conclusion. Nironelle is a wicked girl, planning things that I don’t like. I shall live and die a loyal subject of my prince.”

He had tricked Pigsnout in that lie. Now he would go and accomplish his plan.

[Lief Erikson]

Smartman’s journey back to Smartname was quick, and only when he had reached the castle did he unbind the princess. His wickedness was glowing with evil, and he thought all must see it and fear. Instead, Nironelle was merely looking at him with disgust.

“Thinking of your own stupidity in not seeing through me in the start?” Smartman asked, laughingly.

“Actually, yes,” she remarked.

“Are you saying only a stupid person wouldn’t see through you?” Pigsnout queried.

Smartman drew his sword and swung it menacingly, nearly beheading Pigsnout and Nironelle, and ending up spinning in a fancy circle.

The two of them looked scared, just as Smartman had intended.

Smartman laughed wickedly, roared with laughter so loudly the castle walls nearby seemed to shake at the blast. He swung his sword over his head until it was like a blur, and then showed his expert skill in stopping its motion suddenly.
He went through a dazzling array of fencing moves, showing clearly that none alive could defeat him.

Ridiculously, Nironelle was looking at him in scorn again.

Smartman thought she was just attempting to make him feel foolish, while he was actually impressive. “That won’t work,” he said, coldly.

“Oh no,” Pigsnout said, “I assure you, you’ve done quite enough practicing, sir. You could kill any man alive.”

“I know!” Smartman exclaimed, and he roared with laughter again. Then, sheathing his sword in his leg, he started walking back to the castle.

An instant later, he felt an agony of pain and knew that someone must have stabbed him from behind in an assassination attempt.

“Thus dies my evil,” Smartman said, as he fell flat on his face.


Nironelle spoke with Airborne, and through a clever use of her wits, managed to convince him that he needed to go on a quest to win the honor of her hand. He went on a quest to take every flower in the land for her, each plucked by hand and kissed by his own lips. He set out upon this quest, and thus never bothered Nironelle again.

Smartman woke up in prison, having been arrested because of his words before falling down, ‘Thus dies my evil.’ There he actually got something right (realizing why he’d been imprisoned), but his tricks upon the jailor never worked, because in his opinion, the jailor was too dense to understand anything. The jailor never understood why Smartman kept winking at him knowingly, claiming absolute understanding of the jailor’s behavior, and telling him that ‘you already know what my bribe offer was.’

Pigsnout lived happily ever after.



The End

[Tessar]

I've only had time to read the first section (got stuff to do -_-) but I like it!

Hehehehe. I liked the bit about his voice and then no one could hear him ;).

[Nurvingiel]

Brilliant story! Hilarious! :D One or two edits, though I've only had time to read the first three posts.
“AH, I AM SURE SHE WILL!” Airborne crowed in triumph... I find typing in all caps redundant to show someone is shouting, we already know that by the exclamation point. In this case if you really wanted to emphasize it, you could say "loudly crowed..."
“I WILL NOT MARRY AGAIN!” the king roared again. Here, you wouldn't need to add anything, saying that the king roared implies that he's shouting very loudly.
“I mean it,” Caster said warningly.
Perhaps "Caster said in warning."? I don't think warningly is a word, but I could be wrong.

What would happen if he got her to speak a whole series of words? What bliss would he be in then???!!! I think one ? and one ! would be enough there. :D

Smartman’s eyes went cross eyed and he fainted. I think it's "cross-eyed" but "cross eyed" might be an alternate spelling.

I love the scene between Smartman and the princess! Your humour is extremely witty. :)

[Lief Erikson]

Glad you've enjoyed it thus far, Tessar and Nurvingiel :).

[BeardofPants]

Originally posted by Lief Erikson
queezy

Shouldn't this be 'queasy'? Or is that some weird American spelling....? :confused:

[Lief Erikson]

I'd probably be the only one who uses it. Thanks, BoP- it's changed.

[Nurvingiel]

Lol! That was hilarious! I finished reading it, brilliant work. :D

[Lief Erikson]

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I'm glad I finally finished it. When I started the story, it was without a completion in mind. So it was several months after finishing the first six sections before I wrote the final two, and the possibility of posting it didn't occur to me until the day I did.

[Arat-Falathion]

Oh, just noticed you had a new story up :D Will read it first thing in the morning!

[Arat-Falathion]

Hahaha :) There simply was no end to Smartman's stupidity. Wonderfully put, brilliantly written! I enjoyed it every bit of the way. :D

[Lief Erikson]

Thanks, Falathion :).