Hobbit joke

[Sminty_Smeagol]

this amuses me terribly.
note: sexual in nature


Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They take her to a local inn; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears strange noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"

In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it go?" The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn't do it."
The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?"

"No. I couldnt get on the bed!"

any other lotr jokes out there that you've come across?

[Twista]

Lol, thats a good one. Nah ive not come across any more myself. However, i will look now. ;)

[Lady Ravyn]

here's one, though everyone has probably heard it a million times:
what did the warning label say on rosie gamgees fertility pills?
caution: could be HOBBIT forming!
lololol... oh, i crack myself up. *ahem* :D

[GrayMouser]

Favorite Tolkien joke, I think from Michael Martinez (if I'm wrong, apologies to true author)

Q: How many Elves does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, they just sit around in the dark singing sad songs about the Light That Was.

[Falagar]

A good one, which isn't really a LotR-joke (just a joke transformed into a LotR-joke), also by MM I think:

"An Elf and a Ranger were camping out in Eriador one night. As they lay in their blankets, the Elf nudged the Ranger and said, "Look up, my friend, and tell me what you see."

"I see stars," replied the Ranger. "A vast multitude of bright, shining stars."
"And what does that tell you?" the Elf asked.
Sensing a deeper purpose behind the Elf's question, the Ranger gazed upward thoughtfully for a moment and said, "Well, I think it means that the universe is immense, and that the Valar must have labored many ages before settling in Arda."
"Hm," the Elf said quietly. The Ranger decided he had not given the proper answer, so he cast his gaze westward and beheld the bright light of Earendil's star.

"And it also tells me that we are all part of a great tale, ever unfolding, adding layer of challenge and adventure upon layer," he added quickly.
"I see," said the Elf, and he said nothing more. But the Ranger, realizing he had not guessed the Elf's purpose, gave up and asked with great exasperation, "Well, then, what does it tell you, that we see the stars?"
"It tells me," said the Elf as he turned to his companion, "that someone has stolen our tent"."

[Sister Golden Hair]

I like that one Falagar.:D

[Nerdanel]

Yeah that's a good one Falagar!:D Not the way I picture elves, but I guess they can be practical too..:p

[Nurvingiel]

LOL Fal! :D I've heard the non-LotR version, but I like yours better.

[justaregularguy]

Many have wondered why Elrond and Gandalf didn't ask the Eagles to fly the One Ring into Mordor to be dropped in Mount Doom.

While there are many theories, recently uncovered writings by JRR Tolkien reveal the true reason to be that Elrond and Gandalf thought they were Philadelphia Eagles.

As you know, the Philadelphia Eagles never get the Ring. :D

[azalea]

Har, har.:) I'm moving this thread to the ME forum and merging it with a joke thread there entitled "Hobbit joke."

[trolls' bane]

You can merge threads, too!? Wow. :eek:

[BeardofPants]

Oh, that reminds me ... The other day I thought of something that (I thought) was really funny, but I can't draw for shite. :( Maybe someone else can draw it for me? Here's my preliminary sketch:

http://homepage.mac.com/aishafenton/frodo.jpg

Caption: ... and it wasn't until they were nearing the Fires of Mt. Doom that Frodo realised that he had fallen for one of Elrond's infamous practical jokes.


Caption needs a bit of work as well. Suggestions? :)

[Lizra]

The picture is funny in itself. :) Frodo looks really steamed (and kind of stupid! :D )which is quite funny, and the eagle looks like Big Bird, with the massive droopy butt...which is funny too! The caption is wrong...but the picture...hee hee! :D

[Coney II]

Originally posted by BeardofPants
Oh, that reminds me ... The other day I thought of something that (I thought) was really funny, but I can't draw for shite. :( Maybe someone else can draw it for me? Here's my preliminary sketch:

http://homepage.mac.com/aishafenton/frodo.jpg

Caption: ... and it wasn't until they were nearing the Fires of Mt. Doom that Frodo realised that he had fallen for one of Elrond's infamous practical jokes.


Caption needs a bit of work as well. Suggestions? :)

Gotta luv the lil' hairy hobbit legs! :D

I think the caption works well.......might make a suggestion tho'...

As the eagle soared away from the fiery hell that is Mt Doom.......Frodo realised there was something he had forgotten to do

(noticed he's still wearing the ring)

Or

Frodo eye'd the eagle with suspision.....Sam Gamgee had been the appetiser, Gollum the main course and Frodo suddenly felt more than a little like a gateux...

or

Frodo was unimpressed.......as in-flight movies went, this was among the worse he'd seen

or

Frodo was alarmed when Gwahir informed him that he was suffering from diarrea

I'll stop now........

[Lizra]

Oh! The last one kicks! How about...

"Unfortunately, Elrond had failed to inform Frodo of Gwahir's irratable bowel syndrome. "

Oh boy! Nothin like toilet humor! :D :o

There's something about that eagle's butt! :D

[BeardofPants]

Originally posted by BeardofPants
Caption: ... and it wasn't until they were nearing the Fires of Mt. Doom that Frodo realised that he had fallen for one of Elrond's infamous practical jokes.

Yeah, the caption's giving me a headache....

How 'bout 'Suddenly it occurred to Frodo that perhaps Elrond had been joking about flying to Mordor....' ???


Ooh, I like the incontinence ones. Heeheee. :D Big Bird! lol. :D

[BeardofPants]

Originally posted by Lizra
"Unfortunately, Elrond had failed to inform Frodo of Gwahir's irratable bowel syndrome. "


That one's definately growing on me. :D

[Rían]

I like the food one! *looks up "gateux"* Rats ! not in my dict.

Or how bout something like "not THAT noise again!! I just got the other stuff out of my hair!!"

I LOVE that tent joke!!!!

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

It wasn't until later, that frodo realised that awful smell wasn't the fumes of mordor.

hows that for a caption?

[Earniel]

Originally posted by BeardofPants
Oh, that reminds me ... The other day I thought of something that (I thought) was really funny, but I can't draw for shite. :( Maybe someone else can draw it for me?
I can give it a shot if you like. I'll try to get it done by the weekend.

[BeardofPants]

Cool. :D Thankies Smearniel. :D

[Rían]

Good one, LCoG!

How 'bout "Frodo gets a sinking feeling as he hears THAT noise again..."

[Earniel]

Here (http://www.geocities.com/earniel_fenelin/comic.htm) is the pencil draft. Is there anything you want changed? The caption below is just a try-out. I'll ink the whole thing afterwards but I first wanted to know if there need to be some changes first.

[BeardofPants]

That looks good - exactly what my scribbles were trying to capture. :D Now we just need to come up with a better caption...

How 'bout: 'Frodo wondered if he'd made the wrong decision choosing the quick route.' ?

I still really like the idea of Elrond pulling a fast one on frodo though, so if anyone can think of how to incorporate that?

edit: how about something with Elrond and metamucil*? :D ' Frodo suddenly remembered where he'd seen Elrond going with the metamucil....' :eek:

*metamucil is a laxative

[Earniel]

Alright then, nothing that you still want added or changed? Otherwise I'll ink it tomorrow. I'll leave the caption open until you've decided on the text.